Peanut Update 01

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					                         “Peanut” Update
Loyal DemManSay readers (men and women) have been writing us for
months asking what ever happened to George "Peanut" Phillips. It
seems that Peanut is extremely popular with our readers so DMS will
do our best to keep everyone up to date on a regular basis regarding
the miniature attorney from Antigua. Everyone loves and remembers
Peanut. When we last wrote about Peanut, he had just completed a
hastily planned wedding at Cyril King Airport where he married his true
love from Indonesia (Blackplanet.com). The exchange of vows took
place as soon as she got off the plane, and before Roosevelt "Touching
Wives" could get a chance to meet her. Attorney Phillips, affectionately
known to his friends as Peanut because despite wearing triple soled
shoes & a hat he's not much bigger than a peanut , has stopped
studying for the Virgin Islands Bar Exam. No, Peanut did not pass the
Bar. Instead, the Supreme Court of the Virgin Islands adopted a rule
which excuses government attorneys like Peanut who try real hard yet
cannot pass the Virgin Islands Bar Exam, and have failed it at least 4
consecutive times. The legal community in the Virgin Islands calls it the
“Peanut Rule” after Peanut. Despite his repeated failures, he always
tried real hard to pass the Virgin Islands Bar Exam and actually scored
worse after DMS gave him the questions and answers for 2008 exam as
a Christmas gift several years back. Well, DMS is pleased to let
everyone know that Peanut is alive and well and still working at the
Attorney General's Office on St. Thomas where he consistently screws
up everything he touches. Peanut is currently trying to convince
the Public Services Commission to approve the transfer of Innovative to
Rural Telephone Financial Corp which is already bankrupt. Peanut has
assured Joseph Boschulte, chairman of the PSC that he has researched
the law, and reviewed everything and that in his “not-yet-barred” legal
opinion (whatever that's worth) control of the territory's only
telephone and cable company should be transferred to RTFC, another
 bankrupt company that his friend Roosevelt “Touching Wives” works
for. Hey, maybe Peanut knows something we don't. DMS has
confirmed that Peanut has reinvented his image since he married his
Internet love and no longer has to fend off melee and rumors that he
once moved on the down-low. We hear that despite the fact that
Peanut has never won a single case (he has the longest recorded streak
of 2nd place finishes in Virgin Islands Courts’ History), Peanut is on the
very short list of attorneys being considered to be the next Superior
Court Judge on St. Thomas to replace DMS' Repeat Man of the Year
Judge Leon Kendall. Frazer has refused the job. Peanut is well
connected with DestroyHope, is close friends with Roosevelt “Touching
Wives”, and swears he can pull off the impossible. Hey, like Don King
used to say "only in America." You go Peanut! More on Peanut next
week.

				
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posted:9/18/2012
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