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									                          EFFECTIVE
                           WRITING




SGM MACE

13TH Sustainment Command (Expeditionary)
Fort Hood, Texas

Munitions Branch SGM
                       INTRODUCTION




• Introduce Yourself

• Who am I
                               AGENDA




• The Value                    • Writing a Bullet


• Preparation                  • Writing Exercise


• Bullet Statement Mechanics   • Review and Edit
                          WHY DO WE WRITE
                              AWARDS?




To recognize Soldiers for valor, meritorious service, and
achievement. It's our formal way of thanking them and
recognizing them for their outstanding contributions to the success
in mission accomplishment. Awards given to deserving Soldiers
increase esprit de corps in the unit and provide other Soldiers the
necessary incentive to go above and beyond their day-to-day
responsibilities thus contributing to the success of the unit.
              BOTTOM
              LINE!!!!!




TAKING CARE OF THE SOLDIER!
                                        AAMs




Army Achievement Medal (AAM) is awarded to any member
of the Armed Forces of the United States, or to any member of the
Armed Forces of a friendly foreign nation, who while serving in
any capacity with the Army in a non-combat role, distinguished
himself or herself by meritorious service or achievement of a lesser
degree than required for award of the ARCOM. The AAM will
not be awarded to general officers.
                                     ARCOMs




Army Commendation Medal (ARCOM) is awarded to any
member of the Armed Forces who distinguishes themselves
by heroism, meritorious achievement or meritorious service.
Award may be made to a member of the Armed Forces of a
friendly foreign nation who distinguishes himself or herself by an
act of heroism, extraordinary achievement, or meritorious service
which has been of mutual benefit to a friendly nation and the U.S.
                                   ARCOMs




Awards of the ARCOM may be made for acts of valor performed
under circumstances described above which are of lesser degree
than required for award of the BSM. These acts may involve
aerial flight. An award of the ARCOM may be made for acts of
noncombatant-related heroism which do not meet the requirements
for an award of the SM. The ARCOM will not be awarded
to general officers.
                                        MSMs




Meritorious Service Medal (MSM) is awarded to any member of
the Armed Forces of the United States or to any member of the
Armed Forces of a friendly foreign nation who, while serving in a
non-combat role, has distinguished himself or herself by outstanding
meritorious achievement or service. An MSM is not meant to be
a lesser award than the BSM.
                                  VALUE OF
                                 THE AWARD




• Word a picture of what the Soldier did

   • Only way someone who does not know the Soldier can
     effectively evaluate their performance

   • Shows not only what they did but how they did it and
     what the outcome was
                                 WRITING TIPS




Use “hard-hitting” facts, actions and phrases; start with a strong,
fact-filled statement

Each bullet should contain substance; limit fluff
                              WRITING TIPS




Be enthusiastic, and make your writing come alive!

Use active voice….

Use common terms everyday people can understand, instead
of using job specific jargon
                               PREPARATION
                               FOR WRITING




• Start with a comprehensive description

• Use detailed narrative of performance

• Make sure you have the who, what, where, when, why,
  how many, how much, time/money, and numbers
                      EFFECTIVE BULLETS
                      ALWAYS CONSIST OF…




• What they did

• How they did it

• The impact or result of their action (why it was significant)
                                     3 PARTS OF
                                      A BULLET




• Start with a strong impact word (action verb, past tense)

• Follow with the fact

• Support fact with impact/results
                          ACTION VERBS




Activated   Aggressive     Aspired     Attained
Battled     Capitalized    Commanded   Commended
Committed   Created        Dedicated   Delivered
Designed    Detailed       Earned      Employed
Energized   Enlisted       Executed    Guided
                       ACTION VERBS




Illustrated   Inspired       Led          Motivated
Maximized     Mentored       Navigated    Outshined
Overcame      Refined        Reinforced   Secured
Sparked       Strengthened   Structured   Terminated
Transformed   Validated      Visualized   Voiced
                         WORDS AND PHASES




After the standard opening, each bullet should start with
an action word like these:

        Displaying            Using
        Exhibiting            Making
        Demonstrating         Through
        Showing
                    WORDS AND PHASES




The next words should be an adjective-noun combination like:
   • superior leadership, he …
   • exceptional competence and professionalism, she …
   • expert technical skills, he …
   • highest degree of proficiency, she …
   • accomplished organizational abilities, he …
   • finely honed ...
                       SINGLY
                      POWERFUL
                       WORDS




courageous                    implemented

distinguished                 performed

masterfully                   orchestrated
                spearheaded
                             ADVERBS




Adverbs work well for the next words:

   quickly               proficiently
   capably               adeptly
   professionally        effectively
   skillfully            efficiently
                                  IMPACT
                                    AND
                                  RESULTS




• This is the outcome of what was done
• Put impact in some type of measurable term
   • Quality: best, most successful, first
   • Quantity: numbers, percent increase/decrease
                scope of effort and effect
   • Time: hours, man-hours/days saved, hours/days/months
            ahead of schedule
                                  JARGON




Steer away from using specific jargon or acronyms or names of
equipment that are not commonly used in the English language.
A good rule is to use simple, everyday words that convey
powerful thoughts. Also avoid being gushy or using “puffed up”
words that seem phony or pompous.
                                     ROLL
                                      ALL
                                   TOGETHER




Now, simply mix and match the words and phrases to ensure each

bullet is a flowing sentence or two. Start with the

accomplishment you consider to be the most significant.
                                    WEAK
                                   PHASES




Be careful using certain words that may weaken phrases

that otherwise would be strong. These can make a sterling

performer into an instant weak one….
                   NOT
                   GOOD




         usually

almost               rarely
                                         GOOD
                                        EXAMPLE




Expertly administered the training requirements for 143
individuals and tracked 129 special operations courses;
achieved a 100 percent course utilization rate-enhanced
overall mobility readiness
              (Has an action, result and impact)
                                      BAD
                                    EXAMPLE




Truly an outstanding NCO, leader, supervisor and manager

who possesses resourcefulness, initiative and charter to accept

and succeed at the most demanding of tasks-exudes the

Military in all he does
    IT’S THAT TIME




15 minute break
                  MOVIE




Little Motivational clip
                         NOW YOUR
                           TURN




Write an achievement on the following
                                          TRY THIS




• SGT Joe Blow worked at Corps Storage Area as Ammo Handler
  with 60th Ordnance Company
• He did inventories, re-warehouse and renovations and that
  increased productivity in operations
• Helped retrograde about 759,000 lbs of New Explosive Weight of
  unserviceable and good Class V in 90 days to Kuwait
• Helped bring down explosive arch and keep out of harms way
  2 DFACs and 3 living areas on Anaconda
                                          SOLUTION




SGT Blow worked as an Ammunition Handler with the 60th Ordnance Company
at the Corps Storage Area assisting with inventories, re-warehousing and
renovations resulting in increased productivity in ammunition operations. SGT
Blow assisted in retrograding an estimated 759,239 pounds of Net Explosive
Weight (NEW) of unserviceable and serviceable excess Class V to Kuwait
in a 90 day period. This greatly reduced the explosive arch keeping two dining
facilities and three living areas on LSA Anaconda out of harms way.
                                     TRY THIS




• PFC Highspeed watched LNs and done guard duty in a tower for
  about 4,000 hours on Anaconda to help out on force protection and
  base defense plan here on Anaconda
• Her warrior ethos, dedication, attitude, professionalism helped the
  safety of about 26,000 soldiers, navy, Airmen, Marines and KBR
  that live and work on Anaconda.
                                    SOLUTION




PFC Highspeed served over 4,000 hours in support of LSA
Anaconda base defense plan overseeing Host Nation laborers and
performing Force Protection tower operations. PFC Highspeed’s
Warrior ethos, dedication to duty, attitude and professionalism
directly contributed to the safety and security of over 26,000
Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, Marines and civilians living and working
on LSA Anaconda.
                            LAST ONE FROM ME




Assigned to the 13th Sustainment Command (Expeditionary),
Distribution Management Center as an Ammunition Supply
Sergeant. During OIF 06-08, SSG Lowdrag did good stuff for the
ammo people for the Multi-National Corps Iraq which had 2
Divisions, 15 BCTs and 12 Brigade separates. SSG Lowdrag had
an integral Role in being in control of over $129 million dollars of
Class V and Around $13 million of expenditures by the BCTs.
                                         SOLUTION




While assigned to the 13th Sustainment Command (Expeditionary), Distribution
Management Center, Munitions Branch as an Ammunition Supply Sergeant in
support of Operation Iraqi Freedom 06-08, SSG Lowdrag provided outstanding
ammunition customer support for the Multi-National Corps Iraq, consisting of
two Divisions, 15 Brigade Combat Teams and 12 Brigade separates. SSG
Lowdrag played an integral role in the management of over $129 million of
Class V stocks and over $13 million of expenditures by the BCTs.
                            NOW YOUR
                              TURN




Write an achievement on yourself and see how you can do
                                 REVIEW AND
                                    EDIT




Look at what you have written

Does the bullet start with an action verb?

Did you state the fact?

Did you include the impact?
                              REVIEW AND
                                 EDIT




Make the impact strong

Fill the line

Review, Edit, Review, Edit, Review, Edit…..

CHECK, CHECK AND CHECK
                               SUMMARY




• The Value                    • Writing a Bullet


• Preparation                  • Writing Exercise


• Bullet Statement Mechanics   • Review and Edit
      WELL……




Questions
           LASTLY….
            THANKS




Just one last BANG!

								
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