tazkiya retreat

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					                                                                     6/11/06 – after Maghrib

Importance of Reflection
- A mu’min, or seeker of Allah (swt), must always hear/look at things with reflection
 (“How does what I hear/see relate to my relationship with Allah (swt)?)

Be at all times in a state of Taharah
- Only the mumin guards his wudu
- There are many spiritual/physical benefits to always being in a state of wudu
 A sleeping mans soul is allowed to be in dimensions that a soul w/o wudu cannot enter
- Being in physical tahara (wudu)  take internal tahara more seriously

Guard the tongue
- Guarding the tongue is a means to guard so many other things. If one cannot guard the
tongue, he/she will not be able to guard the heart.

Do not waste anything
     - do not waste life (ant, spider, plant, bug, fly etc…). these creatures are in dhikr
        of Allah (swt)
     - to waste food is to not, in attitude, be in dhikr of Allah (swt). Not to waste
        niyamah is an act of thankfulness. Eating crumbs is a form of being grateful for
        the baraqah Allah (swt) gave us.

Spiritual Resonance
      - Each one of us has a spiritual frequency of the heart
      - If the freq of our heart is not optimal, we will disruptively interfere with others
          spiritual freq. ( the frequencies will cancel each other out if they don’t resonate)

    -    before tawba we are running away from Allah (swt), the truth, with our heart,
         mind, body and soul.
     -   Tawba, in its meaning, is stopping and then returning. It is an ACT of the
         heart whereby you bring yourself back after you have stopped running away
     -   Reorient yourself and focus on your objective

Concept of the heart and nafs is explained (Notes by Br. Owais)

Hadith - “Verily the hearing, sight, and heart, the human shall be asked about”

       Not only will our hearing and our sight be questioned for but so will our qalb

       Saleem – constant state of soundness/health

            o It is with that saleem heart we will be able to carry divine light and
              understand ourselves and others. it is also with this heart we can fulfill our
              true purpose to be happy – obey Allah (swt)
            o Saleem from diseases of the heart (sins) which affect us:

                       ‘Herse’: Attachment to that which is worldly
                       ‘Hasad’: violent envy
                       ‘Guroor’: Assessing ourselves more than what we are
                       ‘Ujub’: Conceitedness, seeing ourselves the way we are and elated
                        about it.
                     ‘Riya’: To love to be seen doing good, showing off
       Suratul Kahf: “it is a reminder for those who have a heart.” - a heart which hasn’t
        taken a different identity
       This physical heart is a project of our spiritual heart
       A student once asked Imam Abdul Qadir Al Jilani - “Ya shaykh, teach us about
        the moods of the hearts”, Imam Al Jilani replied: “Why do you want to know
        about the heart when you are a full nafs”. We need to learn about this thing called
        nafs before we speak of the heart, because the nafs is the source of sin.
       The Qalb (heart) is the greatest gift Allah gave us. It is the means by which we
        connect to Allah directly (if pure)
       Quran-”Verily it isn’t the eyesight that go blind, but the hearts that go blind”
       To some, Allah resides in their hearts.
            o Please take time to fell that. Source of beauty is in your heart. Cultivate
                beautiful attributes in qalb
       Hadith - “Verily Allah has on earth vessels, the vessel of your Lord are the hearts
        of His righteous ibaad”
       Abdullah ibn Abbas - “Muhammad (saw) had sight of his Lord with his heart
       The Heart is like a mirror. Knowledge enters it and reflects out as pure (or as
        impure) as the heart is. If the mirror is stained, the things known to that person are
        reflected with stains and improper to their true state (haqeeqa)
       The reality: A chair is not just made up of wood; its real reality is that it is made
        up of small particles of protons and neutrons. So it is with the reality of the human
        being’s, we are more than just flesh. Our heart is a projection of the spiritual heart
        which is unseen in this dimension.
      The qalb, not the external eyes, is able to see the truth (haqeeqa) of values,
      Hadith - “… There is a piece of flesh in the body; if it becomes good (reformed)
       the whole body becomes good, but if it gets spoilt the whole body gets spoilt, and
       that is the heart (Qalb)” (Sahih Bukhari 1:2:49).
      Neglecting the qalb is neglecting the greatest gift from Allah (swt).
      Guard you heart from external elements which will take it away from a peaceful
      Sh. Mokhtar shared with us what a doctor told him in California: Its reported in a
       journal of medicine that a child had a heart transplant, when she gained
       consciousness, she said : “Where is Peter?”, The parents had no knowledge of any
       of her friends being named Peter. They looked into the history of the girl who
       gave the heart for the transplant and found out that Peter was the friend of that
       girl. SubhanAllah, there is connection. Absence of evidence is not proof.
      The heart is a way to experience the Divine, need we more reasons?
      Guard your heart, Sheikh Mokhtar mentioned an observation he had at the lake:
       He was sitting on the rocks and looked to his side, there was water surrounded by
       rocks and it was still, then he looked to his other side and saw the water that
       wasn’t guarded by rocks to be turbulent.
      –Break–
      ‘Wajd’ - To find something inside of you
           o One awliyah said that if a person finds Wajd in listening to Qur’an and
                dhikr and not in other sounds in nature, then the person might be deluded.

Condition of the Qalb

Everything is in dhikr of Allah (swt). Some blessed people hear in every sound a divine
glorification. (“if you don’t see the squeaking of a door as dhikr, your heart may be

 Dham = sin
 Dhunoob (pl) = sins

♦ ‘Dhanamb’is from the same root as Dhunoob-means: tail/posterior of a dog.
   Committing sins moves one back, further away from Allah (swt); the more I am away
   from The One Source of Peace  the less peace I feel inside, and the more fear.
  (being called the posterior of an animal is not honorable, just as committing sins are

♦ The Ulema have said: “Whosoever fears Allah, Allah does not make him afraid of
everything else.” A person who doesn’t fear Allah (swt) will fear everything else.

   – engaging my mind, body in something other than The One
   –   is an expression of deficiency in my tawheed of Allah (swt)
   –   Committing sins shows my deficiency of Tawheed, because I am attaching my
       heart to more than The One. Such attachments are the root cause of sin
       (attachment of the heart to more than Allah leads to us sinning)
   –   dhunoob affects the means by which we attach to Allah (aka the qalb)
           o Each sin makes a black dot on my Qalb, It covers the heart from correct
               perception of reality and of Allah.
           o Tawheed =Light . The Qalb sees in the Light of Tawheed.
                    Sh. Mokhtar then gave an ex: that you can see inside a person with
                      only X-ray Light, SubhanAllah!
           o This light is intensified by the obedience of Allah

Affect of dhunoob on the heart:

      Exposing the Qalb (heart) to Dhunoob (sins) hurts the heart. There are
       consequences for all we do. An injustice you experience today could be a result of
       a dhunoob you committed years ago. Verily Allah (swt) delays punishment, but
       never forgets.
      Every sin has a consequence whereby one becomes further from Allah (swt).
      Committing dham  the further you are from The Source of Peace (↑distance
       from Allah swt)  experience fear, insecurity etc…
      Sinning w/o repentance dark spot in our qalb
      Tawheed and knowledge are noor (light). Knowledge is light given to us by Allah
       (swt). With this noor we are able to see the depths of what is true/see things for
       what they are. Not anybody can get this beautiful, beneficial knowledge.
      Dhunoob results in a loss of knowledge. The reason why we forget things is
       because of sins. It extinguishes this light in our hearts. We forget what beautiful
       (ayat, hadiths) is as a result of sinning. You do not know what you did before, you
       perceive things incorrectly (heart is like a mirror analogy)
                    Imam Malik said to his student Imam Shafi’ - “I see that Allah has
                       injected noor (light) in you, don’t extinguish it by the darkness of
                    Imam Shafi’ complained to another one of his teachers: I
                       complained to my teacher about my lack of memory, he directed
                       me to keep away from sin, the knowledge of Allah is light and that
                       light doesn’t enter the heart of a sinner.
      Sins cause humiliation and lowliness inside

   Consequences of dhunoob (sins):

   1. Lack of adaab with our Creator and His (swt) Commands/ the reverence for
      Allah (swt) weakens inside of us. Disobeying Allah (swt) shows lack of reverence
      of Him (swt), auzubillah. Allah gives us EVERYTHING yet we don’t care.
   2. External actions dictate what we feel inside (external actions internally
      rooted feelings). What we do externally is rooted in ourselves internally. The
      more we do things externally, the more deeply rooted it will become inside (we
      will end up feeling that way (ie. disrespecting someone thru actions eventually
      leads to a lose of respect in the heart).
      - Sinning is a sign of disrespecting Allah (swt). Dhunoobloss of adhaab with
      Allah (swt), irreverence with Allah (swt) (auzubillah may Allah prevent any of
      us from disrespecting Him. Ameen)

   Sin of heart vs. sin of limb : “Why did Allah do this to me?” sin of heart much
   worse than the sin itself b/c it’s the state of the mind and heart

Uns = connection with Allah (swt) reached thru sincere dhikr of Allah (swt)
     - orgin of insaan
     - has same root as insaan meaning “human”
     - it’s the state of being intimate with Allah (swt)
     - when the uns is found, nothing replaces it
     - uns is a gift from Allah (swt)

Wahshah = painful loneliness from Allah due to losing proper orientation of Allah (swt)
   - opposite of uns
   - same root as “Wahsh” - which means “wildbeast”
   - souce of wahshah is remoteness of Allah (swt)
   - If I am not in uns, I am in waash (beast). He (swt) can no longer be seen in us.
      We now have the waash (beast). That’s why those who aren’t connected with
      Allah (swt) are scared.
   - One salihoon said - ” Truly what the hearts find of grief and sorrow is because
      of what they have not found of Vision (Uns).”
   - The heart in the state of sorrow, depression, fear and anxiety is such due to not
      finding Allah (swt) in the qalb. The heart does not see Him (swt).
   - The degree to which we are not in spiritual sight of Allah (swt) is the degree to
      which our hearts are diseased.
   - In Haqeeqa we are nothing - If attached to nothingness (this world): we feel
      constricted. We seek spaciousness outside as a result of feeling restricted inside.
      We cannot be alone with ourselves (in an empty room) b/c there is a finite
      limitation within ourselves.
   - If attached to Allah (swt): we are truly free for we have the Infinite Divine w/in
      us that we can explore. We can be alone in a room and still be happy.
   - Poet- ” Before my heart (fuad) was empty of Your love, it chose to be in Dhikr
      of the Creation, and when Your love called my heart, my heart responded and
      now I can’t imagine my heart leaving the courtyard of You”

       We ask Allah (swt) to remove wahshah from our qalb. Ameen.
♦ We connect with Allah (swt) through our qalb!
    - Then why study the nafs?
         o the origin of the diseased qalb (sin) can be summarized in one word: nafs
         o “The one who has true vision of himself, shall have true vision of Allah”
             Then will realize our Faqr (need) for Allah.
         o The Nafs is the lens before the Qalb.

Nafs = veil b/w the heart and Allah (swt).
           o We must remove the nafs from your qalb in order to see Allah (swt)
           o 4 types of nafs:
           1. Malaiki nafs (angelic) = finds pleasure/satisfaction in being close with
               Allah, obeying Him (swt), whether it be in salah, dhikr, being humble etc..
               - if this is the state of the nafs, you are on the path to freedom
           2. Baheeme (Cattle-like) nafs = finds happiness in eating a lot, sleeping,
               playing, copulating
                      Qur’an - “…while those who reject Allah will enjoy (this world) and eat
                       as cattle eat; and the Fire will be their abode…” (47:13)
           3. Predator- like nafs = enjoys having power/control over other creatures,
              hurting them, does not give up his rights, no mercy
           4. Shaytanee (Devilish) nafs = finds happiness in kibr (arrogance), riya
              (showing off), vanity, delusion, divides humans and deceives.

Tazkiya = purification and nurturing of the self (nafs)
      Has 2 components:
         1.    cultivating and strengthening the malaika nafs (qualities within the
               human self that are essential for growth and development)
         2.    taming the remaining 3 nafs (that which is undesirable, unwholesome
               (note: we are not eliminating b/c we need to eat, be angry at injustices

*NOTE: it is not just about knowing/accumulating knowledge, its about doing. Tazkiya is
having it in your heart. We have to practice what we learn. Strengthen our spiritual
muscles thru the exercise of knowledge. * reflect on what you know, think of your goal
and how to get there iA

The different types of nafs dictate what our nature is; there are different means of
happiness depending on our nafs.

       Happiness = pleasure/delight we seek to acquire that is consistent with our nature
             • Happiness is an aim. True Happiness is with the Source of Everything,
             Allah. Freedom doesn’t have a value in itself. Freedom of what?
             • Freedom is freedom of the heart from the self (nafs), not freedom of the
             self (nafs). Happiness is not happiness distinct from The Source of
              Happiness but nearest to The Source of Happiness. Knowledge is not
              knowledge of the created things, but knowledge of The Creator
              • It is - it is a relative term, it depends on the object which needs to be
              • The acquisition of pleasure and delight is according to each objects
                        • ex: The eyes happiness is different in each persons perception.
                        ‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder’.

                                                                   6/12/07 - after Maghrib

Khalwah = secluding oneself to a place of privacy (alone time to connect w/ Allah swt)
        - we need khalwah to read/discover ourselves

Ways to practice Khalwah:

   1. Salah *FEEL IT*
   2. Qur’an *REFLECT*
   3. Seerah w/ emphasis on moral virtues/ethics (akhlaq) and spiritual characteristics
      drawn from RasulAllah’s (saw) life
   4. Study/read the way of life of the scholarly righteous servants of Allah (swt)
          o this is our attempt to be in their companionship
          o our love for such people is an act of ibaadah
   5. Intensive dhikr of Allah (swt) with tongue and qalb (remove all thoughts, good or
   6. Ponder on the state of my nafs
          o be a guard at the gate of your heart and prevent what Allah (swt) dislikes
              from entering (vice versa)
          o reflect on the acts of my tongue, limbs. Are my actions corruptive?
          o Am I not using blessings Allah’s (swt) bestowed upon me the way He
              (swt)would be pleased?
   7. I look at Allah’s (swt) creation (people, river, buildings etc…) with my external
      eyes in hope of having light enter my qalb so I can know the meaning/message
      hidden in therein. (for myself)
   8. Reflect on the Attributes of Allah (swt).
          ○ w/o noor we will never be able to reflect properly
   9. Reflection of the akhira and the different states ppl will be in
          ○ “often be in dhikr of maut, the destroyer of passions.”
          ○ Remembrance of death gives us a more beautiful life

   10. Tawbah and Istighfar
          o tawbah = returning back to Allah (swt)
                    *the first step in changing is tawbah*
          o Istighfar = asking for forgiveness
   11. Dua’a
         o Invoke Allah (swt)/ express your innermost secrets, your weaknesses
         o Ask Him (swt) for what He (swt) wants (ie. help me obey You(swt))
         o Ask for help in getting close to Him (swt)

“Let us learn to learn by silence” (in terms of the qalb)

Process of Tazkiya

   ▪       The nature of our happiness indicates the freedom w seek
   ▪       Freedom is a means to reach an end (if the end is beautiful then the means by
           which we got there is beautiful)
   ▪       Superior freedom is not the freedom of the self (nafs), it is the freedom from
           the self.
               ▫ Freedom = freedom of the heart from the self, for it is the heart that connects
                 to Allah (swt)
              ▫ The heart is, therefore, at a higher dimension than the nafs

THEORY           ** higher the dimensions, the higher degree of freedom**

   ▪       People may view the self to be the deepest dimension of the inner body; however
           this is an incomplete perception of human nature
                ▫ qalb is @ a ↑er dimension  ↑er freedom

   ▪    Tazkiya = freedom of the qalb from the nafs
       - being in the infinite realm of Allah (swt) grants me ↑er freedom than being in
         the realm of creation
       - How much you can experience with the qalb  infinite
                                                 nafs  finite

           I want to be an abd of Allah (swt) by freeing myself from creation. Allah (swt) is
           not apart of creation. He (swt) created it. Allah (swt) is not in time, He (swt)
           created time…

       -    There are 2 inputs into the heart.
                         Nafs    ♥  Ru’u (always good)
       -    aim of tazkiya: to purify the qalb from the ailments that contaminate our heart
            (shirk, kibr, arrogance, hasad, ignorance etc..) and to liberate the qalb from the
            nafs; thereby, adorning the qalb with beautiful characteristics
    -   in adorning the qalb with beautiful qualities and cleansing the qalb from ugly
        characteristics, we hope to attain the ultimate inner virtue of the qalb (that
        subsumes every other beautiful quality)  tawhid of Allah (swt)
          o the ultimate state of tawhid means that inside my qalb there is NO other
              attachment but to Allah (swt)
          o any other attachment, whether physical, emotional, physiological, is a
              form of shirk
    -   I cannot be fulfilled in tazkiya while having riya, arrogant, lie as I joke,
        disliking people b/c they don’t fulfill what I want ( hating ppl because of me)
    -   These beautiful traits (forgiveness, generosity, merciful etc…) are contingent
        upon Allah (swt); therefore Allah (swt) doesn’t like us having qibr. HE (swt) is
        The Only One Who can have this. His (swt) Immense Beauty isn’t contingent
        upon ANYTHING!
    -   Allah (swt) wants out inner selves (“khuluq” inner character) to be beautiful
                   Ex. A woman was a maid and had epilepsy  seizure spells
                      where she would faint. She went to Rasulullah (saw) and asked
                      him (saw) to pray that she be cured of this disease. His (saw)
                      response was that he (saw) would pray for that but if she has sabr it
                      would be better for she would be blessed with Jannah She then
                      asked that she just not be exposed when she falls. She was a
                      beautiful woman of Jannah! She chose inner beauty vs. outer
                      beauty (“khalq”)


Qalbun ajarad (“empty”)          * qalb of mumin*            - free, absolutely free from
                                 LIVING HEART                 all creation. Empty.
                                                             - This qalb contains the
                                                               light of Allah (swt).

Qalbun Aghluf                    * qalb of a khafar*         - heavily veiled
                                  DEAD HEART                - filled with arrogance
Qalbun Mamkoos                   *qalb of munafiq *          - upside down
                                                             - it has rejected after it has
Qalbun Tamuddu Maadatan          *sick heart*                - This qalb is fed by 2
                              (heart of most Muslims)           Sources

                                                             - The predominate source
                                                               determines the state of
                                                               the heart
                                                             - This heart does do good;
                                                               however, also feels
                                                                    burden thru the
                                                                    of Allah (swt)

How do you know if the heart is sick?
    - the heart’s fxn is tell you to do good
    - The nature of the heart is two fold:
         ♦ ‘Idraak’ - perception - to perceive knowledge the way it is
         ♦ ‘Irada’ - movement/will - to feel inclination towards something
    - ♥ perceives what pleases Allah (swt) and then leads our limbs

     -      the natural movement of the heart (in the spiritual realm) is toward Allah (swt)
     -      since the qalb is meant to be near Allah (swt), when it its movement is not
            towards Him (swt), the qalb is sick (♥ + nafs)

Guard your qalb! Guard your qalb! Guard your qalb from that which Allah (swt) doesn’t
love to enter our hearts.
                How do we do this?  Process of Tazkiya
        Process of Tazkiya  cultivate maalaikal nafs  happiness!

         Process of Tazkiya is a cycle, beginning with ilm

    Mujahada                                      Knowledge
          silence,                                 (ilm)
           sleep less

                        (is a burst of feeling)

1. Knowledge
      ~1st step of the tazkiya process is a regular diet of beneficial knowledge
     ilm w/o tazkiya leads to arrogance
     human beings are enemies to that which they do not know.
      “An ignorant man does to himself what an enemy does to an enemy.”
     The more ilm  the more awe, the more love, kashiya one has for Allah (swt)
     Seeking beneficial ilm is mandatory for all Muslims
          o What is beneficial ilm?
                            Beneficial ilm = knowledge which contributes to the process of
                             tazkiya and brings one closer to Allah (swt)
                                  i.e.) studying fiqh is beneficial ilm; however, is at prayer
                                    time you continue studying and delay salah, this becomes
                                    non-beneficial knowledge (keeps one distracted from dhikr
                                    and salah)

                                           o The way in which we seek beneficial ilm may
                                             render it not benefiting us by preventing us from
                                             getting close to Allah (swt). Dhikr is not meant to
                                             keep us away from Allah (Swt). Ilm is not meant to
                                             make us arrogance, rude, etc…
                                           o Ilm is meant to be an instrument to all that’s
                                             beautiful, helps us obey Allah (swt) in a way in
                                             which He (swt) loves

        Remember the purpose of tazkiya is to make our qalb that which Allah (swt) loves
          have tawheed!! (only a pure ♥ will perceive ilm properly)

              * Knowledge empowers, opens gates/avenues, and effaces ignorance*

2. Tawba ~ the act by which we remove the bag of infection so healing may begin; applying med = obedience
     is an act of the heart

        2 components of tawba:
                             1. regret that burns
                             2. a resolve that will achieve
        Allah (swt) brings us to ilm so that it may spark remorse, pain inside of us 
         develops a longing to get to Allah (swt). This is tawbah. Out heart has stopped
         running away from Allah (swt)
        having fear, remorse, longing in ones ♥ is a form of movement of the qalb (burst
         of feeling).
        there is no way to Allah (swt) w/o tawba
        ilm serves as a catalyst to the burst of moods inside of us  this bursts open the
         gates of mujahada.
        The stronger the ilm, the stronger the burst of tawba, the wider the gates into the
         fields of mujahada, so we can enter w/ ease
        The stronger the tawba, the easier the mujahada

3. Mujahada ~ Effort

        The struggle against yourself
        The most virtuous/beautiful jihad is the jihad against oneself (nafs) for the (“that”)
         sake of Allah (swt)
      Going through the process and breaking down the barrier so you can do what you
       could not do before, doing what Allah (swt) loves
                   It’s a very hard process but Allah (swt) will put up a flag in your
                      qalb to keep you going. Seeing this flag will motivate you to seek
                      Allah (swt). You can’t love what you don’t know. Know your
                      Lord. He (swt) makes Himself (swt) known through so many ways
                      but we’re too busy to notice (47:38)

      the field of mujahada is made up of 4 elements:

1. Silence
      - Be quiet for the sake of bringing the qalb closer to Allah (swt)
      - Beware of speaking much, it hardens the heart
      - Guard the tongue, for the more we speak  more mistakes we make  darkens
      - Tongue creates disturbances
      - “all the words of the children of Adam are against himself, except dhikr”
         (forms of dhikr)
      - Rasulullah (saw) said there will be days where the virtuous will become
         undesirable (i.e. if you’re quiet, people hink something is wrong with you)
      - Rasulullah (saw) spent long hours in silence
      - Be quiet for the sake of hearing what cannot normally be heard
           o Allah (swt) breaks the natural laws for those who break the norm (they do
               not eat, sleep as much as others do, dress the way others did. They broke
               the trend/culture which others followed)

2. Fasting
     - We should learn to disengage ourselves from the attachments of food
     - It’s about quantity, quality and so much more. One who eats less for the nafs
         w/o “Bismillah” is not better than one who eats more but eats for Allah (swt)
     - Eating less weakens the base nafs and strengthens the qalb
     - Much eating (more than moderately)  qalb dies
     - Eat when hungry only
     - Eat until there is still desire to eat more (1/3 food, 1/3 water, 1/3 air)
           o SubhanAllah there are studies done which indicate your stomach needs
              about 10 minutes to signal to the brain that it is full!
     - Eat halaal
     - You’re truly hungry when bread and water become delicious to you

3. Wake up/sleep less
     - The more dhikr we are in of Allah (swt) the less sleep we need (i.e. angels) b/c
        we find delight in the time we remember Allah (swt)
     - The less dhikr of Allah (swt) we are in, the more sleep we need
     - The more of Allah (swt) we in our hearts the more spiritually aware we are. The
        less need we have to speak,e at, sleep etc…
4. Retreat/Khalwah
     - Khalwah begins the process of emptying – attachments- your heart so you can
        beautify it with ibadah and Allah (swt) can enter
     - There is no safety from yourself w/o khalwah
     - Spend less time with people
     - Spend time with ppl when its good for the qalb(i.e. jummah, helping the needy)
     - Khalwah wont be instrumental until the heart reaches a level to Allah (swt) 
        then you’ll enjoy khalwah

      To be in the best state of jihad is to do less speaking, socializing, sleeping, and
       eating, for having more of these 4 only weakens the heart.

Summary of Tazkiyah process:
    gives clearer picture of the reality of life
    the nafs makes the ugly look beautiful and the moral/good seem bad etc…
    heart is able to see the world as it really is
    ↑ cycles of tazkiyah  the more the qalb clears  will be able to see and
     understand what you did not before
    A new knowledge emerges from w/in and the cycle continues once again
    Tazkiya is done thru struggle and effort. You have to do something to get
     something worthwhile.

Muraqabah = a state in which you guard your heart
     To watch consistently that that which Allah (swt) dislikes does not enter your
           o Once you dump out sewage water (tawba) don’t allow it to come back
               into the area you just cleaned
           o Sewage = everything Allah (swt) does not love. Dot let sewage in your
     If I give up what I love for Allah (swt) sake, He (swt) will give me so much
     Muraqabah doesn’t come right away. It eventually becomes desirable as does

   1. go to the doctor, she breaks the wound so the pus is released ~ Tawbah
      So the healing begins. We are told not to go to the infected areas (the haram)
      muraqabah) b/c we are still susceptible to getting the ound again (the qalb is
      still sick)
   2. taking the medication ~ obeying Allah (swt)
   3. vaccination/ moving out of the infected area/environment where you can get

    **Shaytan is like a barking dog. If you resist it, it will keep barking; however, if you
    ignore the dog (shaytan) he will go away**
                        IGNORE THE SHAYTANS WHISPERINGS!!

                                                                                                ↓ PE
                                                                                                ↑ KE
   ↑ PE
   ↓ KE                                     ALLAH                                          - Walking
                                                                                           downhill leads
- Walking                                                                                  to a loss in
uphill against                                                                             potential
resistance/nafs,                                                                           energy, there’s
↑s spiritual                                                                               no resistance
energy =                                                                                   - when we go
 the internal PE                                                                           along with the
needed to obey                                                                             nafs, indulge
Allah (swt)                                                                                our nafs, and
- the lesser                                                                               do no resist
load, easier to                                                                            ourselves (not
go uphill                                                                                  walking
 worldly                                                                                   against nafs)
attachments                                                                                leads to ↓
                                                                                           - the further
                                                                                           ↓hill the more
                                                                                           PE loss, I cant
                                                                                           walk back up
                                                                                           *steeper hill,
    PE  energy of the qalb (which we need to do what is good/ right)                      ↑er PE loss*
    KE energy of the nafs

    In front of you is an obstacle. No on will want to go up w/ a heavy load (attachment). I
    would like to lighten my load. How? By detaching yourself from worldly attachments

       True ibaadah (goes against nafs)
       Ibaadah of the nafs (obeying Allah (swt) b/c it is in agreement w/ my nafs)
      We need to do A LOT of dhikr. The sahaba/sahabiyat (ra) had RasulAllah’s (saw)
       company which was a means of spiritual elation in itself; therefore, we need much
       much more dhikr than they (ra) performed.
      You can be in dhikr everywhere. If not with your tongue, then with your heart
       (this happens when you have undergone intense dhikr to the pt were your qalb is
       in constant remembrance of Allah swt), whether you be sleeping, eating etc…
      NEVER stop dhikr, even if what you say on your tongue is not felt in your qalb

      Stop worshipping your worship!!! When you’re aware of your worship you may
       not experience delight/elation
      Remember your worship is due to the Grace of Allah (swt) and He (swt) can take
       it away if He (swt) pleases.
      Show your dire need (fakr) for Allah (swt). Be humble

               You cannot do it alone! Turn to Allah(swt) task for guidance and strength
               thru dua’a

      Dua’a = the umbilical cord to Allah (swt)
          o Absence of dua’a  arrogance
          o Dua’a  ibadah

      If you find yourself in a constant state of dua’a, with proper attitude, with the
       qalb, it is an order from Allah (swt) that this person is a wali! SubhanAllah
      Never did anyone pursue things by his/her own nafs and achieve it. Never did
       anyone pursue things with Allah (swt) and not achieve it.
       With Allah all is possible!

Khalq = external creation
Khuluq = internal character, disposition
  Akhlaq (plural of khuluq)
       - Internal state

Falls under akhlaq:

Guard your gaze
    - A look/gaze at what Allah (swt) does not love affects the qalb more than what
       we eat. - - That stolen glance is like a poisonous arrow released by shaytan to
       the qalb, which causes a dark spot to be formed in the heart.
     -   A person who uses his sight in a manner that Allah (swt) doesn’t love is
         deprived of internal noor of the heart
     -   Looking down maximizes the inner eyesight of the qalb
                The more we look, the less inner sight of the heart we have
     -   As a result of lowering the gaze, Allah (swt) will give you firasa.
           o Firasa = inner tuition as a result of firasa you understand/know about
                Allah (swt)
           o “Beware of the firasa of the mumin, he can se with the light of Allah
     -   1st thing tazkiya changes is the way you look at things
     -   One look takes the abd away from so much

    -    haya is the defining element in Islam
    -    Haya = combination of modestly, bashfulness, humbleness. It is when you feel
         uncomfortable inside from disobeying Allah (swt), offending others
     -   Muslims w/o haya are not truly Muslim
     -   RasulAllah (saw) was the source of all that is beautiful. He (saw) had more haya
         than a young, virgin woman in the privacy of her own home
     -   Uthman (ra) took away the most haya after RasulAllah (saw). Uthman (ra) had
         haya toward Allah (swt) and His (swt) creation so much so that the angels were
         in haya toward him.
           o If you have haya for someone, you don’t want them to feel uncomfortable
                (in dress, speech, mannerisms)
     -   What we look at affects our haya so much!  guarding the eyes is a practical
         fruit of haya
     -   Haya generates a light in the qalb which leads to guarding of the eye. Looking
         at wrong deprives the qalb from so much of Allah’s (swt) Noor.

Guard the ears (falls under Akhlaq)
    - those sounds that are beautiful gives the ♥ noor, while that which isn’t beautiful
        kills the qalb
    - that what you subject your ears/eyes to is actually what you subject your heart
    - it is only when you clear your heart (via tazkiya cycle) that you will be able to
        see the truth
          o dhunoob  takes away beneficial knowledge so you don’t see things for
               what they truly are
                    ♥ = mirror. A broken mirror (arrogance ♥, stolen glance) will
                       reflect objects as broken even if it may not be as such.

Guard and Allah (swt) gives! (falls under akhlaq)

     -   If one is sincere in getting close to Beautiful Allah (swt), He (swt) helps you by
         showing you flags/markers
           o (i.e. waking up for fajr, preventing you from going astray iA)
           o A man was careful with what he ate, one time Allah (swt) made his finger
             hurt when he went for some food to protect him from non-halaal.

                                             * Tawhid
        Afal                                (Oneness and
     (acts/deeds)                           Unity of Allah

                        (inner character,


Tawhid = an active, constant affirmation of the Oneness of Allah (swt)
    - The ultimate goal/aim of tazkiya is tawhid of Allah (swt)
                  fruit of tazkiya  tawhid
    - The beginning of tazkiya is tawhid, for we must seek to affirm The Oneness of
       Allah (swt). The end of tazkiya cycle is also tawhid
    - Everything that is beautiful is due to the presence of tawhid; all that is ugly is
       due to the lack of tawhid. Tawhid encompassed all that is beautiful
    - There are levels of tawhid, just as there are levels of love
    - Tawhid is part knowledge and part feeling (there’s a difference b/w knowing
       what an apple is vs. how it tastes.
    - 4 concepts(?) of Tawhid:
                         1. Being, that of Allah (swt)
                         2. Isma (Names)
                         3. Sifat (attribute)
                         4. Af’al (acts/deeds)

                    *Allah’s “that” is concealed by His (swt) Names &Attributes
                        His (swt) Attributes are hidden in His (swt) Actions.
                        His (swt) Actions are concealed in objects/creation.
   Meaning: Allah’s (swt) covered His (swt) Being and shows It to us through His
   Names and Attributes, and even then we just catch a glimpse. (We cannot see Allah
   (swt) b/c we would go blind; therefore, He (swt) exposes Himself (swt) by His (swt)
   sifah and ism. Allah’s (swt) Names & Attribute are shown thru His (swt) deeds (baby
   born/giving life  Al-Muhyi, Al-Wadud, Ar-Rahman).
   Allah’s (swt) deeds and acts are shown thru creation

     -   Allah (swt) is One Being and we are to know Him thru Qur’an, revelation
     -   Allah’s “ Being “that” is indivisible
           o Everything created is divisible, it can be divided into parts
           o There is nothing/nothing comparable to the unique Oneness if Allah (swt)
     -   The being (that) of us is clay. The Being of Allah (swt) is beyond our

     -   Every one of Allah’s 99 Names (isma) is also a sifa (Attribute) of Allah (swt)
          o His (swt) Names indicate His (swt) attributes
          o Allah’s Names gives both isma and sifa.
          o amber is my name (isma) but it is not an attribute of mine

     -   Sifat = attributes
                    Al-Alim: Allah (swt) is never in a state of not knowing before
                       knowing. His (swt) knowledge has no beginning, has no end.
     -   Afal = actions
                    Allah’s Actions: He (swt) Creates, Pardons, Heals, Gives, Loves
                    Allah’s Acts are completely opposite to what we would think. Do
                       not try to understand His (swt) Afal as you would understand your
                            Story of Musa (ra) – his mother feared for him and was told
                               by Allah to put him in the sea. “You fear for him, put him
                               in the sea”  seems ajeeb but subhanAllah, there is
                               nothing that can compare to His (swt) Infinite knowledge

Tanzih – exalting Allah (swt) from any imaginable deficiency
    - Never compare Allah, The Exalted, to us (ie. when Allah’s Hand is mentioned,
        we don’t think of human hands) what is Allah’s Hand? Alhumdulillah, we don’t
        know. Its beyond out realm of comprehension
    - We must internalize Allah’s Beautiful Attributes without connecting to out
        human experience/reality
Tawhid Rububiyya (The Lordship of Allah swt)

  belief we have/realizing Allah (swt) is our Rabb, The Creator
    - A confession with your heart that the Creator of everything is Allah (swt)
    - Testifying that the Creator of the entire universe, including the stars, the
        planets, the sun, the moon, the heavens, the earth with all its known and
        unknown forms of life, is Allah. He is the Organizer and Planner of all its
        affairs. It is He Who gives life and death, and Allah Alone is The Sustainer, and
        The Giver of Security, etc. And this is called your confession for the "Oneness
        of the Lordship of Allah," Tawhid-ar-Rububiyya.
    - Allah (swt) is the Rabb. It is He (swt) Who provides for all of creation
    - He (swt) is The One Who judges what is good, evil, beautiful and ugly
    - Allah (swt) is The One Who created everything, not just physical things
        confined in space, but also our thoughts, feelings, actions.

 Tawhid of Allah’s Rububiyya: There is nothing in this creation, outside of The
 Creator that is not within His (swt) Knowledge and that is not within His (swt) Will,
 not only physical phenomenon but also thoughts and feelings. Thoughts, changes of
 thoughts and feelings inside of us and outside of us are also His (swt) creation
 and within His (swt) Knowledge and not independent of His (set) Will.
        there is nothing in this creation that is not within His (swt) Knowledge and
        Will. (our change of thoughts, emotions, bodies etc..)
    - Allah (swt) is in control of everything. Whatever He (swt) Wills, shall be -
        nobody could prevent. Whatever He (swt) does not Will, will never be.
        Knowing this will give you peace of heart, w/o this we have worry, anger,
        confusion. We should not only know this but learn to experience that and feel it.
        The Oneness of God in this aspect must permeate every cell of our existence
        and must permeate every aspect of our lives.
    - Nothing in this universe takes place without Allah’s (swt) Will and Knowledge,
        whether in the physical realm, intellectual, spiritual this is the cause of our
        internal peace, serenity, tranquility. In the absence of that we shall be anxious,
        restless, aimless, angry
    - Therefore its essential to have this tawhid. Discovering this tawhid is
        discovering one of the most fundamental aspects of Islam, the essence of Islam

     -   Allah (swt) gives by depriving & deprives by giving.
     -   There is noting in this creation tat is outside His (swt) ilm
                    “With Him are the keys of the unseen, the treasures that none knoweth
                      but He. He knoweth whatever there is on the earth and in the sea. Not a
                      leaf doth fall but with His knowledge…”(6:59)
                     Allah (swt) knows how the leaf falls, from where, to where, why it falls,
                             Surah An’am, ↑s IMAN is the Surah about the Rabubiya
                              (Lordship) of Allah (swt)

     -   examples of Allah’s Rabubiya:
           o Allah (swt) gives you everything! If a friend gave me a gift, I should
             realize that it was actually from Allah (swt)
           o I go to an interview and don’t get the job thinking “I didn’t get it b/c of the
             hijab” isn’t having Tawhid Rabubiya. Thinking that Allah (swt) didn’t
             give me the job b/c it wasn’t good for me is having this tawhid.

     -   The more I reflect on the Names and Attributes of Allah (swt), the stronger the
         tawhid Rububiyya
         *(Surah Ikhlaas, An’am  all about the Rububiyya of Allah (swt)*

     -   The more reflection on Rabubiya  leads to Tawhid Abudiya

Tawhid Abudiyya/Uluhiyya/Ilahiyya (Servitude) = action/reflex of having Tawhid
Rububiyya (i.e. prayer)
    - The abd’s worship in response to recognizing the Lordship of Allah (swt)/ i.e.
        prayer, fast, dhikr
    - “Allah is my Lord and I will not associate nothing with Him (swt)
    - Once I recognize that Allah (swt) gave me everything, everything is from Him
        (swt)  I will do whatever He (swt) says and whatever His (swt) commands
        are, I will fulfill
    - The more you reflect the more tawhid Abudiyya becomes my life
                    Who gives the sustenance we have in this world? Allah (swt)
    - “And I did not Create the jinn and humans except they should worship Me…”

          o If we stop worshipping , we aren’t really living or fulfilling our purpose in
          o We are meant to be in abudiya of Allah (Swt) internally & externally
          o Seeking to know Him (swt) is abudiya
          o Realizing our inability to know Allah (swt) is knowing Him (swt)
          o I am an insignificant abd & was created to know Allah (Swt)

     -   Surah Kafiroon

                                                                           After Asr prayer

     -   The Being of Allah (swt) is beyond us. What we do know is He (swt) is The
         One Rabb, He (swt) has The Only Authority in legislation, we shall all return
         back to Him (swt)
    -   He is The First (shows His (swt) uniqueness), The Last, The Outward, The
    -   There was nothing (space, time, sound) before Allah (swt) willed it to be
    -   Pray that you are blessed with the richness in the knowledge of Allah (swt) that
        will bring you close to Him (swt)
    -   Our understanding of Allah’s (swt) words (Qur’an) is the “flag” put up for us
        during our journey of tazkiyah. It is a blessing from our Beautiful Rabb
    -   Allah (swt) calls us to Him (swt), the home of peace (jannah)

    -   We need time alone, khalwah, to reflect on Allah’s Isma so we can grow an
        attachment to Him (swt) and develop energy to get closer

    -   If there were person with all these beautiful traits, wouldn’t you spend time the
        rest of your life getting to know the individual? (May Allah (swt) be Exalted
        from any analogies)  Imagine, Allah’s (swt) beauty is incomparable to any
        created being!

Law of Entropy

    -   A closed system, w/o any external influence, tends to go into a state of disorder
    -   If nonliving matter is left in a system w/o an external element, it will remain
        inanimate; however, when Allah (swt) , The External is there, there is life.
    -   He (swt) is The External, The Internal, The Hidden. There is nothing more
        Batin (hidden/inward) than He (Swt)
          o i.e.) 2H2 + O2  2H2O
                   can you see this rxn take place in a room? No, b/c we’re not internal
                   to the reaction but Allah (swt) is! He (swt) Batin, Internal!

    -   Reflect on nature. Who painted such beautiful things? Don’t you want to get to
        know The Painter?
    -   We are anxious, depressed b/c we want to be in control but if we submit to Our
        Beautiful Rabb Who is in control of us/affirm this and surrender  PEACE
    -   If Allah (swt) wills something nothing can prevent it from happening. If
        something isn’t the will of Allah (Swt) it won’t happen under any
        circumstances. Remember if Allah (swt) did not intend for something to happen,
        it was for the best since He (swt) is Ar-Rahim
    -   We’re restless b/c we want to be in control but are not. if you know your work,
        effort, w/o His (Swt) Will, will not produce the desired effect, you wont be
    -   Learn to say inshaAllah with your heart  I have no control, He(Swt) is in
        control of His (swt) of creatures. The more I resist this idea, this truth, the more
        I challenge Allah (swt)  more unhappy/restless I will be.
    -   When I fast, pray, perform Hajj, dhikr, give to the needy, I am giving to Allah
        (swt), His (swt) right of Lordship. It is my gratitude to my Allah
           o These are acts of abudiya, only to Him (swt)
    -   I want to be an abd to my Rabb w/ my mind, heart, actions, and soul
    -   Ibadah is an internal and external act of worship for Allah (swt)

    -   “And I did not Create the jinn and humans except they should worship Me…”
    -   Allah (swt) calls us to Him (swt) via messengers (peace be upon them),
          o Every Rasul is the way to Allah (swt)
          o He who obeys the messenger (pbuh) has obeyed Allah (swt)
          o We want to journey our qalb to Allah (swt) the way RasulAllah (saw) had
             done. We need to travel the path to Allah (swt) behind RasulAllah (saw)
                     Itibah = following from behind

    -   I must learn to surrender, literally, to RasulAllah (saw), otherwise I will be
        deprived and hurt not only myself, but others as well.

    - Knowledge that isn’t beneficial is the wrong way. In order to see the truth in
        nay knowledge we need to make sure the qalb is clean, unstained, and not in
        turbulence. If the qalb is improperly tuned, then the output of knowledge will be
        improper. The impure qalb is caused by the shaytani/bahini nafs

    -   All these things that we are trying to put in our heart (tawhid, istighfar, tawba)
        we cannot do it alone. We always need Allah (swt). Always make dua’a to
        Allah (swt) and ask Him (swt) to help you.

                     My Allah! You (swt) have always concealed for me sins that I
                     have committed in this world. Please cover them on the day of
                     O Lord I would not choose all of Your kingdom in place of You
                     How painful is that hour that passes and I did not mention You
                     My pride is not that i love You (swt) for those who have loved You
                     (swt) like me are many. My pride is when You (swt) love me
                     Allah how can i ever be happy when i have sinned against You
                     (swt), yet how can i be sad when I have known You (swt). How
                     can i implore You (swt) when i have disobeyed You (swt), yet how
                     can i not implore You (swt) when i have known Your (swt)

    -   Allah (swt) says in the Qur’an be in dhikr of Me, and I will be in dhikr of you.

Summary/ Q & A

    -   Qalb pure element by which we connect with Allah (swt)
      -    A sick qalb is such by the presence of the baheeme, shaytani, and predator-like
           nafs. The dark spot generated on the heart is the nafs itself. Nafs takes over
           apart of the identity of the qalb
       - Qalb receives input from the ru’u, which is always good and beautiful, or the
           naf, which can be in 4 states.
       - Therefore qalb is influenced by the nafs
       - Best kind of tawba is Nasuha (tawba that cleans the heart perfectly)
       - Tawba = act of the heart
              o Burst of remorse, longing in the qalb
       - 2 degrees of tawba = act of the heart
                   Tawba from shirk, dhunoob etc…
                  Tawba from ghafla (state of heedlessness, forgetfulness)
       - As long as that burst is there, there is tawba; however you can also do an act
           that is loved by Allah (swt) (i.e. ablution, prayer)
       - Tawba is inside of us and when we obey Allah (swt)
       - Having moist eyes/heart isn’t always the case when you have tawba
                        When you repent inside and obey, you’re in tawba
       - RA (saw) said: “O what an excellent abode awaits the one who on the Day of
           Judgment will find in his/her records plenty of istighfaar/asking for
       - RasulAllah (saw) says that as long as you are sincere in your heart when asking
           for forgiveness, Allah (swt) forgives
              o A man falls asleep and awakes a while later to see that his
                  camel/provisions are gone. He is so worried at his loss but turns around to
                  find the camel next to him. He was so joyful e said “ O Allah thank you!! I
                  am your lord and You (swt) are my servant.”  out of excitement he
                  mixed up the words. RasulAllah (saw) laughed and said Allah (swt) is
                  happier than his servant (mentioned above) when an abd strays and comes
                  back in repentance! SubhanAllah! Allah (swt) accepts tawba as long as
                  your true and humble.

      -    The fact that there is now where to run but to run to Allah (swt) is a mercy from
           our Beautiful Rabb
      -    Tawba is to expose yourself internally naked to Allah (swt)

      -    Signs Allah (swt) accepted our tawba:
                1.) we are often in tawba
                2.) we comply to the conditions of tawba and live a life of more
                     obedience to Allah (swt) and RasulAllah (saw)
                3.) dhikr often
                       * dhikr is divine decree that the abd is a wali. If an abd truly
                         loves dhikr and is constantly in dhikr (after performing the

             o A lot of dua’a is a sign of sincere tawba*
Q: How can you reward children?
       - More of dunya will never make a person grateful. He/she will only want more
           of dunya
       - Reward your child by reading a story about the righteous
       - Play with them (with a plan)  kids need to play
              ~ Walk in nature and find Allah (swt) with them, canoe, hike etc…
       - No TV for rewards
       - Don’t do in front of, or at anytime, that which you don’t want your children to
       - Time does not change behavior. Our faith, choices, morals are the things that
           change; don’t use the excuse “times have changed”
       - Connect kids with the nature of Allah (swt)

Living in Material World
Q: Here in the US we have so much. I’m spoiled. Should I give up these things or live a
life of a shakir? How can I be fakir (beggar)/show I’m in need of Allah (swt)?

      -    Some people still disobey Allah (swt) when not having anything (not thankful)
         That doesn’t make them better b/c they don’t have as much
       - You don’t seek to be fakir to be a sabar b/c you may not have sabr. Likewise,
           you don’t seek to have much to be shakir for you may not be a shakir
       - What one should do is continue the cycle of tazkiyah and cleanse the heart so
           the heart won’t change whether you have wealth or not.
       - w/ a sound heart, inshaAllah, you will be a shakir if you have much, and a sabr
           if you are poor
       - it has many layers. To give meaning to a word that is not its apparent meaning
           when it fits a certain situation. To use figurative language to emphasize a point,
           to use metaphors
       - “Lion of the Desert” Hamza (R.A)

      -    All nature is in dhikr of Allah (swt). When we are outside we are resonating w/
           the dhikr of creation
      -    It is thru dhikr we are able to perceive the unity in Allah’s (swt) Divine creation
           (the dhikr you do in nature resonates w/ the dhikr done by the birds, trees,
           leaves, water)
      -    We are all united by doing dhikr together
     -   When a righteous person, he who was in a state of dhikr, worshipped his Lord
         (swt), dies, the ground/place on which the person used to perform salaah sheds
         tears for him for they miss that person. SubhanAllah
     -   Creatures (hills, mountains, ground, birds) speak to each other and ask “did you
         hear anyone perform dhikr?” The one hill, mountain, tree, animal etc…that says
         yes is considered privileged by his fellow creatures.
     -   There is not a thing in creation that’s not in tasbih of Allah (swt), we just may
         not know how they do so  story of pebbles in dhikr
     -   Everything in us is in dhikr of Allah (swt)
     -   Once we realize these concepts we wont be able to walk this earth w/ any
         arrogance whatsoever

                                                                             after Maghrib

     - if we want to stay on the path to Allah (swt) we must not do anything to
         extinguish the light of Allah in our hearts (by committing sins)
     - what Allah’s (swt) realm of Knowledge and Will are is not the same as our
     - the freedom we have s on account of Allah’s (swt) Will. What Allah (swt)
         expects of us in always just for He (swt) is Al-Adl

      - if your niyya started out wrong but now has changed then repent to Allah (swt)
          from the original niyya
      - Intentions are necessary for ibaadah. Approaching ibadah with the wrong niyya
          is wrong
            o Q: if my intention when im doing worship is other than worship, what do I
                A: if im committing an act that’s not obligatory w/ an impure niyya, I
                should not do it. For I will bring in evil and I want to keep evil away. An
                obligatory act can be fard ayn (individual obligation) or a fard kifayah
                (community obligation)  a person says salaam to a grp, then one of us
                has to respond back. This is a collective obligation. If my niyya is not
                changing and it’s a fard ayn, then I do the act and struggle with the niyya,
                struggle hard to keep your niyya straight and correct. With the fard
                kifayah I should keep away

               If my niyya is bad and I have the choice of a fard ayn or fard kifayah I
               choose fard kafiyah?

               If anyone can clarify this please do let
               everyone know
Fighting the shaytani nafs:
      - Do what we are talking about at this retreat
      - First establish your salah with discipline. It should be the backbone of your day
         and you should schedule your day around it
      - Next we should be in constant dhikr. It will remove all the unnecessary noises
         that are in our heart. It will help us guard our tongue, our heart, our sexual
      - If shut out the waswas of the shaytan something else just comes b/c all the
         shaytan wants is for us to sin against Allah (swt) in different ways. Whichever
         way possible he will push us. Ignore the whisperings of the shaytan and he will
         go away. However, with the nafs, the same desire will come back again b/c its
         all about the self, it wants what it wants.
      - Ultimate solution to both of these evils is to turn to The Owner of all the
         universe, Allah (swt)
      - If you don’t have enough ilm (to answer ?s), iman and yakeen to remain
         steadfast, then keep away from infected areas

    - active confirmation of the Oneness of Allah (swt)
        1) Tawhid il ilmi: tawhid that is at the intellectual level. A tawhid we must
             all have. A munafiq is worse than a kafir; the former says the shahada
             w/o really meaning it.
        2) Tawhid of a Muslim who says “Laillaha ill Allah” and means it/in their
            heart they are attached to this statement (doesn’t harbor feelings of regret.
            However, there’s no feeling of deep serenity, servitude, relief, expansion
            of chest is not felt
        3) Tawhid where a Muslim feels tranquility

     -   Tawhid is known thru the knowledge regarding Allah (swt)
     -   We don’t pursue that which is unknown to us. The more we know Allah (how
         He (swt) may be like since we wont know He (swt) absolutely is) the more
         we seek Him (swt)  the more our tawhid will develop
     -   God has made Himself known through Revelation. The more we read the
         Qur’an with heart and mind, the better will be out Tawhid
     -   When you walk a trial you need markers to motivate you.
     -   Allah (swt) shows us His (swt) Being thru His (swt) Names and Attributes.
         When we reflect and understand more of His (swt) Isma and Sifat, that is a
         “marker.” When we begin to see markers, we know we are reaching new
         heights. When we travel with their ♥s to Allah (swt), these markers are signs
         which help motivate us to continue their journey
             ~ flags raised inside of us remind us of the beauty of Sifat (Names of
             Allah (swt). What He (swt) is. These markers, that are the Sifat of Allah
             (swt), are the divine seeker’s hadhi
                     Hadhi = hadhi chants poetry to the camels in order to motivate
                     them to get energy to walk faster
Sources of tawhid:
     a) Beginning source of tawhid is the divine message to us
     b) There are signs manifested in creation.
        The creations are witness for The Creator, just as  the design is witness for
             the Designer
   - Allah’s Sifat, which serve as witness to Allah (swt), can be seen thru
        o In order to see The Creator in creation we need:
                 1. Noor: light in the inner most being of humans illuminates
                 2. Eyes

   -   The ability to witness Allah’s (swt) signs/Attributes in creation requires light
       and healthy eyes
 1.    Akal  noor
         o AKAL ( “to tie”)  ties the nafs back to prevent one from indulging in
            worldly matters
                    Akal is needed to perceive ilm properly (tayeeb akal)
                    Sound akal is developed thru dhikr. You need to use akal properly to
                     develop it some more (i.e. work out muscles properly to ↑)
         o   Seed = dhikr, reflection, tafakur (meditation)
             Beautiful plant = akal
         o   Tafakur  Akal  noor inside of us  able to see creation as witness to Allah
                                                       (swt). Everything you see is shaheed.
                                                       The signs/Sifat are burst of beauty 
                                                       can’t help but say I love YOU (SWT)!

 2.  Qalb “eyes”/ Husan ul Nadr  beauty of internal sight cannot be w/o
     reverence and itibar
    beauty of nadr = alive ♥
   - without husan al nadr, the heart is dead and wont be able to see the Attributes
      for what they really are/truly rep
   - no husan ul nadr = no beauty of internal eyesight
                       [Although light is available from akal, the qalb isn’t receptive]
        o Conditions needed for attaining husnal nathar:
                 Need to approach Allah (swt), RasulAllah (saw), sunnah with
                   reverence. Observe nature, creation, Sunnah with reverence.
                   Consequence of dhunoob is loss of reverence. If we do not have
                   reverence we will not see. I cannot find Allah (swt) with just
                   intellectual presence, for that could lead to arrogance. I need both
                   the heart and reverence.
                   - Allah (swt) will turn away from us if we are in a state of kibr,
                   irreverence. The ♥ will not see what the eyes see. We approach
                   Allah’s (swt) creation w/ o enough reverence, and sometimes none
                              o If you want to get close to a paradise bird, must
                                  approach with gentleness, silence, respect
                  Husnal itibar = to cross from the sign to what the sign
                   intends/represents. If one has the beauty of itibar, he will see the
                   underlying factors in things
                              o i.e.) 1+1=2  with itibar you reach the conclusion
                                  2>1, 1<2 by looking beyond the obvious. you
                                  are able to cross the bridge

                                o “Be in itibar, you have sight”

Qur’an: “Verily it is not the eyesight that goes blind, but the hearts that go blind”
 - Ibadah = freedom in ♥
 - If you feel weak at times in resolve or ibadah, look and pray for a marker in
     your heart  this will give you strength and renew your love for Allah (swt)
 - We need to do khalwah on this…at one time there was NOTHING. The sounds
     of birds, the breeze caressing the water, the water hitting the rocks, the creation
     of the diverse trees and plants, the sound of a baby crying, all this life, all these
     designs. None of it was there before, but Allah (swt) knew of it before it ever
     existed, He (swt) always knows
 -    Allah (swt) command the pen to write all that will happen until the day of judgment
     All of al khalq is recorded in lawhul mufus before Allah (swt) ever created it. Details of
     everything that exists/will exist is recorded.
 -   Khisf = spiritual unveiling of spiritual truths

 -   A flower starts out as a seed. In that seed there is an inscription. Cells inside the seed
     contain nuclei which contains the genetic code inside that determines exactly how the
     flower will be. And Allah (swt) Knows it all
 -   We as humans were one also (just a getneic code). When the sperm and egg come
     together they share the information and begin to form and take shape of what was
     already predetermined

 -   Levels of tawhid:
      I. Tawhid at the level of the mind, from observation of the khalq. Reflecting on
         Allah’s (swt) khalq is not unshakable. Some days you will reflect more on creation
         than others. *tawhid of the mind is still shallow. Our tawhid should be rooted
     II. Ilm-ul-Jama’a = “to be collected together”
         - both my mind and heart, in the way I observe creation, are focused on Allah
         - when I begin to see ALL of the world and creation from the lens that sees Allah
            (swt) alone

           How do we reach this?
          When we know Allah (swt) Names/Attributes. Know there’s nothing
           before or after Him (swt). There was no time, space, color, but HE has
           always existed forever. We are contingent upon Him (swt) and are so
           incredible insignificant. If you see The Designer, you don’t need to see the
          Nothing has existed by itself, from itself, its existence has no
           independence. We as creations of Allah (swt) are completely dependent
           upon Him (swt). We cannot continue to exist without Him (swt)
          My action is always a response to something outside my control. I am an
           actor-reactor. Allah’s (swt), The Exalted, Acts are completely free. He
           (swt) is an absolutely pure Doer (Fael)
          All afal in the purest sense are Allahs’ (swt). The way I think, speak, act is
           dependent upon Him (swt),

III. Fan’a = state of not being internally dispersed, or intellectually absorbed in the idea
     of seeing creation as having any independent existence (not seeing creation as the
     source of benefiting, harming etc…)
         - when something/someone is benefiting me or harming me, I don’t see them
             as independent beings acting by themselves, I see them as tools used by
             Allah (swt) to teach me something. The acts of creation do not have any
             independent existence; behind it is Allah (swt)

            A girl spits in my face. I would have fan’a by viewing her as a tool by
             which Allah (swt) wants to teach me something about myself as well as
            If someone praises me I don’t see them. I see Allah (swt). They are merely
             an instrument used to send a message from Allah (swt). Then I must praise
             Allah (swt), for any goodness in me is from Him (swt); therefore, all
             praises are for Him (swt)
                            RA (saw) said “He who is not grateful to the creation is
                              not grateful to Allah (swt).”
            Even if someone gives me a dirty look I should not be upset for in it is a
             lesson for me. SubhanAllah, Allah (swt) is trying to teach me something
            see creation and their actions towards you as a means/instruments by which
             Allah (swt) Takes, Gives as He (swt) Wills  you see haqeeqah behind the
             acts of creation
                  o when this knowledge becomes internalized, there is so much peace
                      in your qalb (regardless of the act being harsh or kind)
                  o You don’t get mad at, hate or love anyone. You have no friend, no

IV. Fan’a un Nafs  the 1st fan’a @ level of nafs
       - The 1st fan’a @ level of nafs
       - I don’t do anything on account of my own likes/dislikes, but rather by
       - All things I seek, do , or like are not by me (my desires), but by what Allah
           (swt) Wants/Loves and by what the sunnah is
               o Once this level is steadfast, ascertained in me, I’A, another level of
                   fan’a un nafs results

V. 2nd Fan’a un Nafs Level
         -   All my wishes, hopes, my internal movement of mind, heart is only what
             Allah (swt) Loves, Wishes, Hopes
         -   * When this level is reached, a person has no nafs*
         -   The person, inside her heart/mind, is unaware of creation. There can be
             people around and she wont notice. The Creator’s Infinite Beauty, Majesty is
             all she sees
         -   This level of tawhid of Allah (swt) lifts the qalb to another world. The ru’u is
             in sight of Divine Majesty.
             Th qalb isn’t in creation, but outside the Divine Manifestation of Allah’s
             (swt) Attributes

                  You then feel the hubb that burns the heart. The flame is lit and
                   never extinguishes (after Allah (swt) shows you His (swt)
                  You will never rest in your pursuit of Allah (swt) until your should
                   meets The Beautiful Beloved
                  Hub of internal attachment, longing to Allah (swt) feels this dunya as
                   a prison and longs for the freedom of The Creator (swt)
                  Overwhelmed in your experience of tawhid (♥ is overwhelmed in
                   being in sight of Allah (swt)), Allah’s (swt) Presence overcomes the
                   ♥s so much so that they only experience The Being of the Divine
                   (Allah (swt( is not literally in the ♥s)
                   They experience a shaheed of Allah’s (swt) nearness/presence
                  HADITH RasulAllah (saw) narrated:
                           o “My abd shall continue to come nearer to Me until I
                               have hub for him and I (swt) shall become his/her
                               eyesight by which they see, think”
                           o The person is a manifestation of Allah’s (swt) Will

                  When this person dies, it is just a physical change, his qalb doesn’t
                   have a longing for this world; death is already there from the world.
                   It’s just waiting for the body to go
                  May I die from my will, in me let there be no iraada (desire). When
                   this occurs, I can live forever, SubhanAllah!
                                      This is the tawhid that is sought via tazkiya
                                          cycle. We begin w/ tawhid and end w/ tawhid.
                                          We need to have intellectual and experiential

-   “Worship your Lord as if you see Him (swt), if you cannot see Him (swt), know He
    (swt) can see you.”
                                                                           Tawhid is
                                    * Tawhid                               concealed by
       Afal                         (Oneness and                           akhlaq
  (acts/deeds)                        Unity of
                                     Allah SWT)
                                                                           Akhlaq is an
                                                                           indicator of

                                                                           Afal is an
                                                                           indicator of
                    Akhlaq                                                 akhlaq
                    (inner state,

       -      If you get in a perfumed bath, you will smell like perfume when you get out
       -      Ask yourself, is my salaah, dhikr, waking up for tahajjud easier for me? Have these acts
              become pleasurable to me? Do I feel expansion in my chest? How have my
              acts/conduct towards Allah’s (swt) changed?
       -      “why don’t I have sweetness in prayer?”  STOP WORSHIPPING YOUR WORSHIP and
              worship The ONE worthy of worship
       -      Once you have the sword of tawhid, you will reap wonderful benefits (pleasure in
              prayer i’A)
       -      Get tawhid from tazkiya
                 o Tawhid = fruit of tazkiya

  -        It is never enough to speak of tawhid. We must constantly practice. BE CONSISTANT,

                    Vital Signs of the heart (need to keep ♥ alive):
                                 Ilm Munafa
                                 Dhikr
                                 Tawhid



  -        There are many ways in which Allah (swt) tests us. There are many ways in which the
           nafs tries to hold us back/take us away in darkness. What makes the nafs struggle to do so
           is consistency on our part. We must be consistent in the ibaadah we do for Allah (swt)
  -        Mumin who sincerely, actively strive to Him (swt) are fields to Allah (swt)
                 For the nafs the most difficult thing is the constancy in doing good before our
                    deeds become easy
-   We must not only know, but DO. Doing requires energy, energy we need to climb
    the nafsani hill
                 When I am terribly hungry my nafs tells me to keep eating, that
                     strong desire inside me is the hill I must climb
                 Be aware and do what your teacher asks you (summary after class).
                     If I lack adhaab with my teacher, its equivalent to lacking adhaab
                     w/ RasulAllah (saw) who is our guide to Allah (swt); therefore, the
                     same as lacking adhaab with Allah (swt) auzubillah
                           If I lack adhaab at home I will lack adhaab outside. my
                              home is my training ground

-   If we fall climbing the hill, or stumble, let us not delay in turning to Allah (swt) in
    repentance and sincere tawba
-   Be perseverant (have sabr) in the face of hardship and Decree of Allah (swt). In
    this life as human beings seeking Allah (swt), we must do what He (swt)
    commands you, and keep away from what He (swt) has prohibited
-   As long as I am sincerely and actively living to obey Allah (swt), I must have
-   Tasabbur = act of struggling with being patient
         RasulAllah (swt) says he who tries to be in sabr, Allah (swt) will bless the
             servant with sabr
-   We cannot speak of iman or tawhid w/o sabr
           [a man w/o sabr is like a man w/o his head]
-   Sabr is the virtue mentioned the most in the Qur’an
         My steps to Allah (swt):
                    1. do what He (swt) asks
                    2. stay away from His (swt) prohibitions
                    3. sabr (when unpleasant happens)

-   If there is no sabr towards Allah (swt) there is no mohabat

-   When Allah (swt) has love for an abd, He (swt) tests them with trials so they may
    respond by showing sabr. Allah (swt) wants to better/strengthen us and this is His
    (swt) way.
-     The abd knows the hardship if from Allah (swt); therefore is patient for he
    knows all Allah (swt) subjects us to is for the best and is meant to bring us closer
    to Him (swt)…if you love Me why do you run from my trials?
-    “Hub for Allah (swt) is like a lawsuit, it requires evidence. Without evidence
    your claim will be dismissed.”
-   Rumi: “I am amazed at the seeker of purity. When time of purity comes, he
    claims harsh treatment. My son when the rug is beaten, the beating isn’t intended
    against the rug but against the dirt inside… When someone beats a rug with a
    stick, he is not beating the rug – his aim is to get rid f the dust. Your inward is full
    of dust from the veil of illness, ad that dust will not leave all at once. With every
    cruelty and every blow, it departs little by little from the heart’s face…”
        harsh treatment takes the form of beating the nafs against its desires

   -   Hadith: a companion came to RasulAllah (saw) and said I love you (saw) and all
       your family. RasulAllah (saw) says “are you sure?” The companion says it twice
       more to which RasulAllah (saw) asks him twice more. Then RasulAllah (saw)
       said: prepare a clean map for your tests, more tests come for those who truly love
   -   For sincere seeks of the Divine, BALAA (trials) are intended to remove impurities
       of the heart and mold it in a beautiful way
            The one who has no sabr in the face of balaa is not a seeker of Allah (swt)
            “You don’t have patience for balaa because you have no desire for walaa.”
               There is no walaa w/o balaa. If you are not truly aimed at the hub for
               Allah (swt) you wont be patient in your tests.

   -   Balaa (trial) is intended to bring us nearer to Allah (swt)
                     When the tazkiya process contains the acts of less food, sleep, talk,
                        the intent is to develop energy to overcome the intangible
   -   Hub is about purity. Hub of Allah (swt) is about Safaa (purity). The qalb needs
       to be in a state of purity, the purer it is the more hub for Allah (swt) there is. The
       way it is don’t is thru trials and challenges
               * Balaa  purity (safaa)  hub for Allah (swt) *
   -   Similar to heating gold with fire until it melts, then you can remove impurities
       with ease
            Melting in itself is a harsh process, but melting leads to purity
            Challenges/trials are intended to melt our hearts so it can refashion in a
               beautiful way  ♥ then will be able to see more of Allah (swt)
            Our beloved Prophets’ lives consisted of trials and tribulations
   -   We must have sabr w/ cleansing the qalb. The qalb will clear as long as we obey
       Allah (swt) and be patient.

Muhaba of Allah (swt)
  - When we speak of the love of God for His (swt) creatures, mercy also translates
     as love
  - If you want to look for the word “love” look for many other words in the Arabic
  - In Arabic, the word love translates not only as hub, but also rehma, safaa, thabat
     The love of a mother for her child is called rehma

            RasulAllah (saw) says upon seeing a mother finding her child after losing
             him, then holding him close to her breast, “look at the rehma of this
             mother for her child. Verily Allah (swt) has more rehma (love) for his abd
             than this mother has for her child
-   Hub is about safaa (purity) and hub itself must be pure; therefore, Allah (swt)
    subjects us to trials us to balaa so we have safaa of hub. The very concept of
    safaa in Arabic has the same root as hub

               “True hub has to be pure” (if not, when hub is tested, it will fail)
-   Types of Hub:

    1) Habab il Asnan  pure, clean love
              Is my love pure? (i.e. love ppl for the sake of Allah (swt)?)
              When the teeth are very white, clean and shiny, the Arabs call it
                 hubaba il asnan; therefore love must be clean and pure

    2) Haba il Bayer  steady, firm love
               Bayer = camel
                         o When the camel sits firmly on the ground and it s
                             difficult to move him, they say “it is firmly embedded
                             in the qalb” - hababil bayer. For muhaba it is the same
               Your love for Allah (swt) is firm, NOTHING changes it. Whatever
                 happens around me, nothing will change this love.
               If something bad happens to me, even if Allah (swt) cuts me to
                 pieces, it won’t matter. I will still love Him (swt)
    3) Habb al-maa  the feeling of love for Allah (swt) is outward in my actions/ love is
        manifest on my body
                   raindrops hit water in the river and created bubbles on the surface
                    are called habb-al-ma. If ones love is sincere, it ill rise to the
                    surface like bubbles on water and become apparent
                   the hub in its nature is shown outwardly, you cannot hide it if its
                   love for Allah (swt) is shown on the outside

    4) Hibbul maa (the container for water)  my ♥ contains only love of Allah
        (swt), nothing else stays although it may come and go, but only Allah’s love stays

                   Meaning of hub lies in the concept of containment, the qalb that
                    has this love only contains love of Allah, everything else comes

    5) Habbatun (the seed)  deeply rooted love
              Seed is so deeply rooted, nothing will take it out. It wont come out,
                 like my love for Allah (swt)
              Love is in the core of the qalb
              Seed is rooted inside the ground; similarly, love (feeling) must be
                 rooted inside the qalb – not shallow
              ‫ ﺡ‬ot ‫ : ﺐ‬HA to BA  HABBA – seed
                        Pronounce it from beginning of throat to the end of the
                         mouth, from beginning to very end
                        Hib – the beloved???: vowel is kasrah
                        Hub “love”: vowel is a dammah
                        In Arabic the strongest vowel is dammah and the lighted is
                        HUB: strongest vowel, for feeling to be true it must be
                         firmly inside of you

-   RasulAllah (saw) said: There are three qualities for which anyone who is
    characterized by them will relish the sweetness of faith:
           1. The one to whom Allah and His Apostle becomes dearer than anything
           2. he who loves a person for Allah's sake alone
           3. Who hates to revert to Atheism (disbelief) as he hates to be thrown
               into the fire

-   Allah (swt) calls us to His (swt) muhabba but warns us against claims of love
-   Actions speak louder than words. We must show/act out our love for Him (swt)
        Allah (swt) asks RasulAllah (saw) to say: “if you have hub for Allah (swt)
            then walk behind me. Allah (swt) shall have hubb for you  if having
            complete hub for Allah (swt) in the heart is your ultimate goal, He (swt)
            will give you what you want most. when you want someone to do
            something you give them what they want the most. it’s more powerful to
            say “do this” or “if you do this I will give you…” SubhanAllah, Allah
            (swt) calls us to His (swt) muhabba this way. (I will give you ME (swt) we
            must prove our love. How? Through following the sunnah of our beloved
            Prophet (saw). He who obeys the Messenger (saw) has obey ALLAH
        “he who forgets to send salaam on me (saw) has missed his way to
        Every Rasul said to the people if you love Allah (swt), follow me
                 We cannot claim muhabba w/o evidence.
                 NEED PROOF OF OUR LOVE
                 Allah (swt) calls us against just making claims for if we would just
                    go by claims , then the khalee (“empty”, creature empty of ♥)
                    would claim that his heart is burning out of love
                    (a khalee would claim to be a shaji = creature w/ ♥ filled with love)

-   No one will be shown the way if there is no love for RasulAllah (saw)
-   For those who say we only need Qur’an – do not need RasulAllah (saw),
    auzubillah! They don’t really believe in the Qur’an
-   If there’s no mahabba for RasulAllah (saw), there’s no love for Allah (swt)
When Allah (swt) has hub for us we have:
  1) Tawba
  2) Visions of Allah (swt) in our qalb. He (swt) puts a shaheed inside you to
     reinvigorate you when you’re weak
  3) Hadith: Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: When Allah loves a
     servant, He calls *Gabriel and says: Verily, I love so and so; you should also love
     him, and then Gabriel would love him. Then he makes an announcement in the
     Heaven saying: Allah loves so and so and you also should love him, and then the
     inhabitants of the Heaven (the Angels) also would love him and then honor is
     conferred upon him on the earth; and when Allah is angry with any servant He
     calls Gabriel and says: I am angry with such and such and you also become angry
     with him, and then Gabriel also becomes angry and then makes an announcement
     among the inhabitants of Heaven: Verily Allah is angry with so and so, so you
     also become angry with him, and thus they also become angry with him. Then he
     becomes the object of wrath on the earth also.

       * Gabriel is the closest to Allah (swt), most beautiful and intelligent angel*

   4) Allah (swt) puts muhaba I the qalb of muminoon for those whom He (set) loves.
      (people may love you at times they may not even know you)
   5) There is an ease in obeying Allah (swt) You enjoy your ibadaah (Allah swt makes
      it easy to obey)
   6) You’re reminded of doing good inside of yourself
   7) In your heart you have love and knowledge of Allah (swt) [i.e. you love fasting
      on Mondays w/o knowing its sunnah]

   -   Difference b/w Allah’s love (rahma) vs. Allah’s Hub
            Allah (swt) has “love” (rahma) for ALL His (swt) creation from kafir,
               mushriq to mumin, Muslims; however, Allah (swt) does not have hub for
            The above mentioned “love” is shown by Allah (swt) giving us risq, life,
               this dunya, answers prayers of all (even kafir). He (swt) loves all. Don’t
               tell people Allah (swt) doesn’t love all, for this is keeping them away from
               Allah and His (swt) Rasul.  (a intelligent, Muslim should know how to
               communicate to all)
            Allah’s love (hub) is manifested in beautiful ways ( se above 1-7)
   -   RasulAllah (saw) said to the sahabiyyat in earlier times: there were people before
       you, that believed in Allah (swt) and followed the prophets. They loved Allah
       (swt) and were tried with hardships. To them trials were more beloved than
       prosperity, ease, or benefit.
       - They were aware of knowledge given t them thru trials

   -   When Allah (swt) loves a person He (swt) tries them. The hardship depends on
       the iman of the person
  -   Allah (swt) does not give trials because He (swt) does not love. When Allah (swt)
      Allah (swt) wants an abd to be elevated but that abd didn’t get enough good deeds
      to get there, Allah (swt) subjects that abd w/ balaa, knowing that he will show
      rida (thankfulness/ ↑est level of contentment) in that trial. This is for a special
      abd. Abd that is pleased with trial  elevated thru diff levels of jannah

  -   The word RAHMA is used the most from Allah (swt) to His (swt) servant (in the
      Qur’an), but HUB isn’t used as much. Why?
          Verily Allah (swt) has hub for those who constantly repent, are low and
             humble to believers, who purify/cleanse themselves, are sincere and do
          Allah (swt) does not have hub for the disbelievers but has rahma for them.
             Allah (swt) has been giving since the dawn of time; He (swt) gives food,
             intellect, motions, beautiful nature, even to those who don’t believe. This
             is His (swt) love. If I don’t see that Allah (swt) loves all then I am blind.

  -   Hub is actually a weakness. When we don’t have something we try to fill in the
      deficiency w/ something (which is not perfect). This is our nature, that’s why we
      NEED Allah (swt)!
                   shaytan makes us forget that we are completely submerged in
                     Allah’s (swt) love and mercy every moment in our life.
                   Then we say “why does He (swt) not love me? This is out of our
                     ignorance, we really don’t know
  -   Do you think Allah (swt) needs us? We love due to our deficiencies. Allah (swt)
      is free from ALL flaws; therefore does not need us

  -   Hub is an (afal) act of Allah (swt). Manifestations of His (swt) are known to us.
      His (swt) love (hub) is manifested in our lives in beautiful ways. When He (swt)
      has hub for us, we are His (swt) protectees, we feel the ease and peace in obeying
      Him (swt), we taste His (swt) sweetness. When you begin to weaken, Allah (swt)
      puts something inside of you to strengthen you (shaheed). He (swt) will
      eventually become the eyes with which you see, ears with which you hear, feet,
      hands, ad you do nothing except that which Allah (swt) loves
  -   Hadith/ Allah (swt) says: As long as my abd continues to strive towards Me (i.e
      nafl, sawm), I will have hub for him
           SubhanAllah, this is His (swt) mercy love that He (swt) gives us His (swt)
              hub just for striving towards Him (swt)

  -   The more we know Allah (swt), the more we have hub for Him (swt)
      The more we feel compelled to do what Allah (swt) loves, then He (swt) will put
      hub in our hearts iA
  -   When they reach the level of having hub for Allah (swt), they say “He (swt) had
      hub for us before we had hub for Him (swt)
              * for the one who has true hub for Allah (swt), He (swt) had hub for him
              before, and put that hub in him

   -   Abu Bakr (ra) said: I have not looked at anything except that I saw Allah before it
                  Walk on earth and see how Allah (Swt) began creation
                  Allah (swt) owns all of creation, and speaks to us thru it. Its your
                     job to think why someone said something to you, what does Allah
                     (swt)want me to learn from this incident? Why did He (swt) let it
                     happen like that? etc…

   -   Elements that deprive us from the muhabba of Allah (swt):
           1) The less I know of Allah (swt), the less I can have hub for Him (swt)
           2) Too m any attachments and inclinations inside of me that are of dunya.
              they have chained me down. * ↑ attachments to dunya, the lesser hub I
              will have for Allah (swt) * these attachments filled the spiritual channels
              that should be filled with Allah’s (swt) Noor.
   -   we must stop seeking power, this is the only way we will be free. If you love to be
       the head the 1st thing chopped off is the head, so be the tail
   -   * The hub of dunya and the hub of Allah (swt) cannot exist in the same heart.
       There’s no room for both worlds, if one is there the other must go.
                   ↑ love of Allah (swt):
                                 i.  ↑ knowledge of Allah (swt)/ reflect more
                                ii. ↓ attachments to this dunya

   What has he lost he who finds You(swt), and what has he found he who loses You

Summary: Sr. Haifaa
   - Consistency in doing good is hard for the nafs
   - Be aware and do what our teacher asks you (summaries etc…)
   - To get to Allah (swt)
          I do what He (swt) asks me to do
          Not do what He (swt) doest want me to do
          Patience/ if something unpleasant happens to me I say Alhumdulillah

                                                                   6/17/07 after Maghrib

       Oh Allah keep our hearts away from anyone who keeps us away from You (swt)
   -   The external conditions of the world will not change until people change
                   Allah verily the state of the people will not change until we change
                      what is inside of ourselves
                         If we are broken inside we might want to change things that don’t
                          need change because our reflection is defected. So we must fix
                          ourselves first. If we keep putting stained human beings in society
                          then society will be destructed
   -       shaytan uses the nafs to make the beautiful for us ugly, and the ugly beautiful
   -       Always be in a constant state of tawbah
                       RasulAllah (saw) made istighfar 100 x /day
                       Allah (swt) says “if you are in tawbah, I will love you and except
                       If you begin to love the dhikr that means your tawbah has been
                       Allah (swt) easily accepts tawbah as long as you are sincere.


Sabrun jameel vs. Sabr
       • the highest level, the most beautiful sabr
       • person w/ this type of sabr doesn’t show any pain so nobody will know

       -    You can still have pain inside and be in sabr. Just be sure not to complain.

           A woman was in the cemetery, crying, mourning her love, when Rasulullah (saw)
           said to her "show sabr". She said, not knowing who he was "that’s easy for you to
           say, you have not lost a loved one". When the companions told her who he was,
           she asked for forgiveness and Rasulullah (saw) said: Sabr is to be shown at the
           beginning of hardship                                                           -
           the tongue and the senses do not act violently - use them correctly, don't get
           caught up in the pain of the moment

       -    This dunya is naturally made to be filled with obstacles and difficulties however
            we try to escape it. The more we don’t accept this the more depressed, anxious
            we will be. We pursue this life to be challenge-free
                       “You are people that seek to force on the nature of things its
       -    Allah (swt) made dunya to be difficult in nature so we wouldn’t want any
            attachments to it and would strive to seek Allah (swt). SubhanAllah, Allah (swt)
            even tries to help us in His (swt) tests!
       -    Do not depend on any person for anything
              o Break the walls of attachments/dependency you have on khalq w/ shovels
                  of Tawhid and ikhlaas be sincere to seek The True Source of all that is
              o Break your cage of seeking/wanting things
              o Break all the channels the nafs wants so the qalb will be free from it
              o Replace the gaze you have on the creation with gaze of The Creator
-    RasulAllah (saw) said this dunya is like a prison to the believers. What would
     we do if we were trapped in a prison? Try to do what it takes to be FREE
-    When I disobey Allah (swt) and RA (saw), I am deliberately losing Him (swt)
-    Every time you say, think, do what Allah (swt) dislikes, you are making a
     choice to be away from Him (swt)
-    Never will he be disappointed the one who comes with true sidq (intention)

-    * It’ beneficial to be around the hearts of our scholars *

                                                                  6/20/07after Maghrib

    Please shine light into my heart. Remove all other but You (swt) in my heart and
    help me seek refuge in nothing but You (swt)
    Allow me to move from creation to Creator. Please let me see what I need to see,
    not what I want to see
    Please make me a shakir/shakur, help me be quick to do good deed, and thru Your
    (swt) Mercy, make me one of Your righteous servants who are in constant dhikr
    of You (swt) in their hearts
    Help us see, by Your (swt) Grace, the hidden pearls that are concealed by all but
    those whom You (swt) bestowed Your (swt) Rahma and Baraqah
    Allah, You (swt) are the One Who shines light into the hearts so they can see You
    (swt) with the noor You (swt) have given.

-    As long as I am not subdued with The Creator, I am w/ creation. If you have
     vision of The Creator. Creation is with you when your with someone, you’re
     put 2nd ?????
-    To seek Him (swt) and find Him (swt) in your presence, the qalb must be pure,
     so His (swt) hidden treasures of knowledge are revealed, we will have a deep
     understanding of the signs of Allah (swt)
-    How can a heart glow with light when images of creation are imprinted in its
     mirror? The mirror of the heart receives/sends light. The images imprinted are
     indication of the dunya attachments
-    How can your heart journey to Allah (swt) when its chained by its
     passions/desires  one cannot have both creation and Creator in the same qalb
     ** When I cannot resist my shawaa (passions/desires) I am chained

-    *Being n the Divine Presence requires tahara of the qalb*
-    May Allah (swt) be Exalted from all analogies…imagine the most Beautiful
     Revered Being in your presence and you are busy with something else. This is
     called JANABA
    -   How can a heart be in The Divine Presence when it isn’t purified from the
        janaba of ghafala
    -   For as long as we move from the worldly to the worldly, we have not gone
        anywhere (i.e. donkey going around the mill example  ends at the same spot
        where it started, just goes around & around)
    -   When I disobey Allah (swt) and His (swt) Rasul I am deliberately losing Him
        (swt). Every time I say/think what Allah (swt) dislikes I am making a choice to
        be away from Him (swt)

Closing Remarks                                                            6/21/07

   1. Tarieek, Tarieek, Tarieek  stay on course
      Don’t leave the road. Once you get inside by Allah’s (swt) Will, the road won’t let
      you leave. If you get distracted, the cycle will bring you back

   2. Alis-Stadat  Prepare
     - this was khalwah and how we’re going to go to jalawa ???
     - the world out there in which we live is meant to be challenging
                    please don’t fail, stay steadfast. Allah (swt) is with me.
     - dunya, by nature, isn’t meant to be a crystal clear pond of water. It is murky,
         troublesome in order we seek Him (swt) and detach dunya. SubhanAllah, He
         (swt) has filled it with akdaar??? so we are filled with resentment toward it
     - the challenges you face out there translate inside of me as a state of difficulty.
         When identified as hurdles/step hill to Allah (swt), they become easier to bear
         Expect that so you wont be knocked down by the 1st strike of hardship
         Expect it so you will be prepared and wont fall when hit
     - one with wisdom replays his trials before they occur, the expect them and live
         them before actually experiencing it. And if hit by surprise, wont be insecure
     - nothing is constant except Allah (swt) (physical, spiritual), before knowing this
         the person sees the last as first??

   3. As-Salat, As-Salat, As-Salat
        Mirage of a mumin
     - it lifts us up from distractions of dunya
     - lets make every salah, khalwah with Allah (swt), including dhikr after
          o khalwah in salah and dhikr after will be difficult but invoke Allah (swt)
               thru dua’a
          o dua’a is the means to connect with Allah (swt). Ask for help.
     - Muraqaba – do not let thoughts to enter the mind, or feelings to enter the heart
        which tawhid doesn’t permit.
     -   If I fumble I must get up. There will be distractions but I will get up i’A and
         request His (swt) Help thru dua’a. Always do that.
     -   On the way if you want to test where you are with Allah (swt), look inside your
         heart and see where Allah (swt) is with you, how dear He (swt) is to you

Let us leave, but not leave

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