; Chapter 7 Non-violent Communication
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Chapter 7 Non-violent Communication

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									  Non-violent Communication
   Key: AWL to Study, Low-frequency Vocabulary




Describe what you think violent communication might
                     sound like.
    Non-violent Communication
• Fosters compassion and understanding
• Based on the premise that all humans are inherently
  good and possess the same universal needs
    physical well-being,
     interpersonal connection, and
     personal autonomy
     of all people.




 Do you agree that all humans are inherently good
      and possess the same needs? Explain.
                        Conflict
• Conflict is always the result of an unmet need.
    When parties acknowledge each other’s needs,
     disagreements can be dealt with in an effective manner.




Do you agree that conflict is the result of an unmet need?
                          Origins
• Marshall Rosenberg
    creator of the NVC technique
    commissioned as peace-keeping negotiator among nations
    conflict resolution specialist in business
• Rosenberg claims we are raised on a language of
  violence.
    we label, criticize, and judge




   Why do you think people label, criticize, and judge
                   others? Explain.
         Violent Communication
• An outdated use of language:
    historical remnant of hierarchical control-based societies,
     where ruling class dispensed moral education and external
     justice
• Individuals have come to
  feel it is their right to label
  and judge.
    They do not reflect on the
     internal mechanisms that
     are causing them distress.

 Have you ever judged another person? Do you feel that
           other people judge you unfairly?
        NVC: Four-part Strategy
• Part one: Identify bothersome behaviors
    State behaviors in an unbiased and factual manner.
    Say, “The last three times we have made plans, you arrived
     more than forty-five minutes late.”
    Don’t say, “How dare you
     always make me sit and wait
     for hours on end?”
       notwithstanding truth,
         implication escalates
         hostility

 Why do you think that stating behaviors in an unbiased
                 way is a good idea?
                         Part Two
• Express feelings elicited by troublesome behavior.
    own your feelings
• Do not attribute your emotional
  state to an outside source:
    Don’t say, “You make me angry…”
    flawed logic because a person’s
     behavior can be the stimulus but not
     the cause of your emotions
    Say, “I feel angry…”


Have you ever said, “You make me angry”? Do you agree
       that this use of language is flawed logic?
                     Part Three
• An unmet personal need results in anger.
• Unmet need with unpunctual friend:
    the proper consideration of one’s time
• Say, “I’m feeling angry because I need you to
  acknowledge that my time is just as valuable as yours.”
• Important for the listener to provide an empathetic
  response.
    keeps channels of communication open
    sets the stage for the resolution of conflict

   Do you find it easy or difficult to state your needs?
                      Part Four
• Make a request
    once feelings and needs have been clarified.
    differentiated from a demand, because the receiver has the
     right of refusal
    Say, “I am asking that
     you make an effort
     to arrive on time or
     call to let me know
     you will be late.”



How would you react if a person refused to comply with
               your request? Explain.
                     Autonomy
• Freedom to act autonomously
    No one has the right to coerce another person into doing
     something against his or her will.




      Do you have autonomy in your life? Explain.

								
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