US finds Bin Laden.pdf by xiaoshuogu


									                  A&E Top fivEs                                                mArAudEr’s mAp?                                              All-chimEs TEAm
                  A lot happened this year in                                  We’re not sure how it got in                                 We’re not ESPN or the
                  between Hollywood and New                                    there, but there’s a revealing                               MIAA, but we know good
                  York. See the top films, music,                              bit of something in here. Re-                                work when we see it. See
                  games and books of the year.                                 member to follow your feet.                                  Chimes’ star athlete picks.
                            See page 11-12                                            See pages within                                              See page 22-23

                                                chi m e S               c a lv i n c O l l e g e
                                                                                                                                                                                   May 6, 2011
                                                                                                                                                                           Volume 105 - Issue 28

US finds Bin Laden Senators-elect ‘define Calvin’
                                                                                                                         administration and student sen-        swipe for a friend, roll-over meals,
                                                                                     by nana oWusu-achau
                                                                                                                         ate by launching the community         etc.), improvement of Internet
                                                                                              Guest Writer               bike project, facilitating the proj-   service all over campus, promo-
                                                                                                                         ect wall in order to let students      tion of the Book Connection
                                                                                     In humility and gratitude,          know what student senate was           (an online platform that aids
                                                                                  we — Nana and Beck y —                 up to, initiating the “Take your       student-to-student book sales),
                                                                                  would like to thank the Calvin         Prof. to lunch” events, start-         continual dialogue on extended
                                                                                  communit y for ent r usting            ing the “2011 Fitness Go” cam-         open house hours, continuation
                                                                                  us with the responsibility of          paign, hosting another powder-         the Pulse forum, augmentation
                                                                                  representing the student body          puff game, organizing the “Un-         of the Dark Knight Society,a
                                                                                  come the 2011-12 academic              Mask” week, creating the Dark          positive and healthy relationship
                                                                                  year. Thank you for making             Knight society, and in starting the    with administration, a stron-
                                                                                  your voice heard.                      Pulse, an open forum between           ger connection with the student
                                                                                     In addition, we would like          students and administration.           body and a maximization of the
                                                                                  to congratulate the student            Our hope is to to build off of last    new structure of student senate.
                                                                                  senate elect: Cabinet mem-             years efforts, not to re-build and     This new structure is meant to
                                                                                  bers, Yeaji Choi, Moon Jung            forget about the great strides that    increase communication between
                                                                                  and Josiah Sinclair; Senators          have been made. Our campaign           student senate and the student
                                                                                  K imberly Bouman, Emi ly               was built upon the motto “Define       body. We hope to gain more inter-
                                                                                  Br uins, Becca Shoemaker,              Calvin”. Our executive commit-         est from the student body to en-
                                                                                  Jonathan Spoelhof, and Ryan            tee believes that without a shared     gage in student senate opportuni-
                                                                                  Struyk. In addition to these           definition, there can be no com-       ties and programs. We also would
                                                                                  five senators, we will be accept-      munity. We are here to serve and       like to invite you to our weekly
                                                                                  ing three first-year students          represent the student body and         meetings, which will be held
                                                                                  as senators this coming fall           are not here to be celebrated.         every Thursday at 6:00pm in the
                                                                                  through an application and             We have some ideas that we             Alumni Board Room on the sec-
                                                                                  interview process.                     thought were expedient to the          ond floor of the Common’s Annex.
                                                                                     Furthermore, we would like          Calvin community. These in-            In correlation with our campaign
                                                                                  to recognize and commend last          clude extended library hours,          motto, we’re not here just for the
                                                                                  year’s student senate for their        opening the Johnnies sitting           moment, but to continue the mo-
                                                                                  work. The team did a great job         area (not the cafe) on Sundays,        mentum. We are here to model
                                                                                  at providing a solid foundation        a reduction of on f lyer use, fa-      the way, to challenge the process
                                                                                  and platform for posterity to          cilitation of activities that engage   and to inspire a shared vision.
                                                                                  continue the momentum. This            st udents (i.e.Camp Waltman            We pray that come next year,
                                                                                  past year’s student senate ex-         Lake), more opportunities for          we could say, “Veni, Vidi, Vici”
                                                           WikiMEdia coMMons      hibited excellence in creating         off-campus student engagement,         which translates, “I came, I saw,
founder and leader of al-Qaeda, osama bin laden, was killed                       a solid relationship between           better meal distribution (i.e.         I conquered.”

                                                                                  Team bond trumps playing time
on sunday in a u.s. raid on his heavily-defended compound in
Abbottabad, pakistan.
                                        in the CIA and in the military, the
      by Griffin Jackson                mission was entirely on a need-                                                     But competition can cut two          Wheaton before coach glanced
         Managing Editor                to-know basis. Not even Pakistan                by ElainE schnabEl               ways. When there are only 11 po-        down the line and called for me
                                        was notified of the operation “for                   Guest Writer                sitions on the field and 90 minutes     to warm up. He gave me about
   Nearly 10 years after the at-        fear the Pakistanis would leak                                                   of the game, not everyone is going      five minutes, and I gave him a
tacks of 9/11, mastermind and           information or jeopardize the                At the end of four years            to play. And for those of you who       dirty tackle two feet from the ref,
face of global terrorism Osama          mission,” reported the BBC.               of Calvin soccer, I can’t help         don’t already know it, that’s the       a yellow card and a bleacher full
bin Laden has been killed.                 The intelligence agency of             but quote Lord of the Rings.           story of college athletics: playing     of angry Wheatonites.
   On Sunday evening (Monday            Pakistan denied prior knowledge           “Alas,” Bilbo says, “eleventy-         time.                                      From then on, I got my playing
morning in Pakistan), a team            of the operation and expressed            one years is far too short a time         My freshman year, I was the
of U.S. Navy SEALs f lew two            embar rassment at its failure             to live among such excellent           last player at the end of a long
helicopters to a heavily forti-         to track or capture Bin Laden.            and admirable hobbits.” Of             bench. We were down by five to
                                                                                                                                                                          See “Ballin’,” page 26
fied compound in Abbottabad,            For years, most speculation had           course, in my case it’s really
Pakistan, a suburb of the capital,      placed Bin Laden in a system of           only four years and no one on
Islamabad. After three initial          caves, hidden on the Afghan-              the soccer team besides me
explosions, the SEALs stormed           Pakistani border. Discovering             looks anything like a hobbit.
the compound. Inside the walls          him in “plain sight” in a suburb             In case you couldn’t tell
for approximately 40 minutes, the       of the capital and in a compound          from the above quote, on the
team engaged in a firefight that        only a few hundred meters from            spectrum between nerd and
took the lives of Bin Laden, sev-       the Pakistan Military Academy             jock, I’m not much of a jock.
eral other men and one woman,           — the equivalent of West Point            An athlete, yes. A competitor,
who, as of Tuesday had yet to be        — has raised significant ques-            certainly. But being on a soccer
identified, but was thought to be       tions about Pakistan’s efforts,           team has always felt a little voy-
one of Bin Laden’s wives.               especially in light of the billions       euristic to me. I’m the oddball
   No U.S. soldiers were killed,        of U.S. dollars given to their anti-      English major trying to force
though one of the helicopters was       terror budget.                            myself into a subculture I have
forced to make a “hard landing”            U.S. forces tracked Bin Laden          never understood but always
and was subsequently destroyed.         to the Abbottabad fortress after a        loved.
   While inside the complex, ac-        years-long manhunt. According                Before college, I had never
cording to Al Jazeera, “The U.S.        to the BBC, U.S. intelligence             met anyone that wanted to
commandos swept through the             agents zeroed in on one of Bin            win everything – every scrim-
massive compound, handcuff-             Laden’s most trusted couriers,            mage, every drill, every game
ing those they encountered with         the Kuwait-born Abu Ahmed                 – like I did. But then suddenly
plastic zip ties and pressed on in      al-Kuwaiti.                               there they were: twenty other
pursuit of their target.”                  Despite the tracking and the           girls who lived and breathed it
   The code word for Bin Laden’s        clues around the compound (its            with me. Girls who wanted to
capture in the operation was            size, cost, defenses, lack of phone       compete, who were willing to
“Geronimo.”                             and Internet connection, trash-           give up hours upon hours to
   President Ba rack Obama,             burning, etc.), U.S. intelligence         bus rides and practices, even
along with a few of his closest         declared that it was 60 to 80             when they sometimes didn’t
staff, watched from the White           percent confident that Bin Laden          get to play.
House in real time as the opera-        was inside.                                  It didn’t matter that every-
tion unfolded.                                                                    one else spoke jock language,                                                               photo courtEsy of calvin.Edu
   Apart from Obama and a mini-                                                   because they spoke my lan-             senior Elaine schnabel dizzies opponents, but says she values
mal number of others on his staff               See “Terror,” page 21             guage too: competition.                her teammates more than tricky moves or winning goals.

                                   T h e O f f i c i a l S T u d e n T n e w S pa p e r                 Of      c a lv i n c O l l e g e S i n c e 19 0 7
2     aMpErsand                                                                       C him es                                                        May 6, 2011

    Chimes                            Weekly Calendar Events
           2010 -2011
         Editor in ChiEf
         Amy Surbatovich

       Managing Editors
            Jon Behm
                                      6                 FRIDAY

                                       126th day of the year
                                                                           7            SATURDAY

                                                                           6 a.m. - Special Olym-
                                                                                                             8          SUNDAY

                                                                                                             8 p.m - LOFT: Spe-
                                                                                                                                     9         MONDAY

                                                                                                                                     Friday class schedule
          Griffin Jackson
                                                                           pics, Lower Comepti-              cial musical service,   in effect
          CaMpus &                     475 years ago,                      tion Field                        Chapel
       CoMMunity nEws                  on this day, King                                                                             3:30 p.m. - Meeter
        Tyler Slamkowski               Henry VIII ordered                  9 a.m - Native Plant              Mother’s Day            Center Lecture: Irena
     Elizabeth Vander Heide            that English Bibles                 Sale, Bunker Interpre-                                    Backus, Meeter Cen-
                                       be placed in every                  tive Center                       St. Arsenius the        ter Lecture Hall
          national &                   church.                                                               Great’s Day
          world nEws                                                       9 a.m. - Calvin Col-                                      Europe Day
         Joseph Matheson
            Nate Slauer                St. George’s Day                    lege Chess Challenge,
            Jared Stratz                                                   DeVos

            sCiEnCE &
            Katie Faber

                                                        10                                       11                         12                    13
            arts &
         Colleen Keehl                TUESDAY                              WEDNESDAY                         THURSDAY                FRIDAY
        Michelle Ratering

           Kendra Haan                 12 p.m. - Recon-                    12 p.m. - Sustainability          Reading recess          Exams begin at 9 a.m.
           Jackson Hall                ciliation Blues book                Forum, Alumni Board
                                       group, Faculty Meet-                Room                              7 p.m. - Tang Soo Do    On this day in 1981,
              sports                   ing Room                                                              Kyohoe Khan les-        Mehmet Ali Agca un-
             Jon Behm                                                      Classes end at 10 p.m.            sons, Hoogenboom        successfully attempted
                                       7 p.m. - HCC Film                                                     280                     to asssinate His Holi-
              op/Ed                                                                                                                  ness Pope John Paul II
                                       Series: Little Town of              On this day in 330,
         Griffin Jackson
        John Kloosterman               Bethlehem, Bytwerk                  Byzantium was re-                                         Third day of Lemuralia
                                       Theater                             named Nova Roma
          photo Essay
    Emmanuel Appiah-Berko              St. Comgall’s Day                   St. Gangulphus of Bur-
                                                                           gundy’s Day
      hEad Copy Editors
           Andrea Baas
          Andrew Steiner

          Copy Editors
            Jon Behm
         Griffin Jackson
          Colleen Keehl

                                                           Campus Safety Report
        John Kloosterman
        Nathan Korstanje
        Michelle Ratering
         Allison Schepers
        Tyler Slamkowski
           Jared Stratz                                                       Saturday 4/30
         Amy Surbatovich                                                      -At 3 p.m. Campus Safety
         Madeline Tracy                                                    responded to a grease f ire
                                                                           in third-f loor coffee kitchen
     assistant Managing                 Monday 4/25                        of Rooks Hall. The Grand
     guEst Copy Editor                  -At 10:30 p.m. Campus Safety       Rapids Fire Department also
          Stephen Mulder             took a report of a window that        responded to the f ire. The
                                     had been damaged by a skate-          fire was the result of cooking.
         guEst EntErEr               board that got away from the stu-     When officers arrived on the
          Aleesa Ribbens             dent who had been riding it. The      scene, the fire had already
                                     student acknowledged acciden-         been extinguished. One stu-
     advErtising ManagEr             tally breaking the window while       dent sustained injuries while
       Pamela Zak Proano             riding the skateboard. A work         trying to put out the fire. The
                                     order was placed with Physical        student sought treatment for
         wEb ManagEr                 Plant to repair the window.           the injuries at Med One.
             Jon Behm
                                        Wednesday 4/27                        Sunday 5/1
                                        -At 10:55 a.m. Campus Safety          -A t 8:53 p.m . C a m p u s
              advisEr                employees responded to a prop-        Safety employees responded
     Jennifer Holberg, Ph.D          erty damage accident in the Fine      to a request for medical as-
                                     Arts Center parking lot. While        sistance in the parking lot be-
            Chimes                   backing out of a parking space,       hind Knollcrest Dining Hall.
        Calvin College               a driver struck a parked vehicle.     A student had been riding a
     3201 Burton street se           Information from both vehicle         skateboard, hit some loose
    grand r apids, mi 49546          owners was gathered, and an ac-       sand and fell. The student
                                     cident report was completed.          suffered injuries to the head,                                                    hand and side. The student
     a              Thursday 4/28                      was evaluated, and the injuries
                                        -At 10:45 a.m. Campus Safety       were bandaged. A friend trans-
     editors: (616) 526-7031         employees investigated a com-         ported the student to Blodgett
    newsroom: (616) 526-6578         plaint of threatening behavior        Hospital for further medical
    a dvertising: (616) 526-6729     which occurred in the Fine Arts       attention.
        Fax: (616) 526-8670          Center parking lot. A student            -A t 5:0 5 p.m . C a m p u s
                                     claimed to have parked her car        Safety employees responded
         Chimes is the official      in a legal parking space. After       to a request for medical as-
     newspaper of Calvin College.    exiting the car, a white male in      sistance on the third floor of
      The mission of Chimes is to    his late thirties pulled up in a      Huizenga Hall. A student was
    serve the community of Calvin    smaller white car. The subject told   concerned about the welfare of
     College in a variety of ways:   the student to move her car out       his roommate, who appeared
       we aim to reform, review,     of the space, as he had spotted it    disoriented. Campus Safety
     challenge and foster dialogue   first. The victim refused and the     employees made contact with
        within the community.        subject yelled at her and repeated    the student, along with Life
                                     his demand. The student refused       EMS and the Grand Rapids
                                     and called Campus Safety. The         Fire Department. The student
       The official Student          unidentified white male left the      was transported to St. Mary’s
                                     area and was not located.             Hospital for treatment.
       Newspaper of Calvin
       College Since 1907
                     Ca m pus
                         and                                                                                                                                                               3
                                                                                                     I would say the most important part of my experience was the deep sense

         C om m u n i t y ne w s
                                                                                                     of community...
                                                                                                                                       -Annie Mas-Smith, “Residence Life,” p. 5

Millage passes by slim margin Buck Fridays change
                                       17,148 voted against. T hat’s               T hese changes wi l l af fec t                                              “It wasn’t ver y well orga-
      by griFFin jackSOn               a d i f fe r e nce of on ly 13 6         routes that are impor tant to                 by hayley cox                nized,” one student said. “I liked
            managing editor            votes, well under one percent of         Calvin students, including routes                Staff Writer              the idea, but I think they could
                                       the vote.                                on Burton, 28th Street, routes                                             have done a lot more, and it could
   It’s official. The transit millage      Most immediate of the changes        through Eastown, downtown and             Think back to the beginning      have run smoother sometimes.”
has passed.                            resulting from the vote will be          connecting to Grand Valley.            of last semester (if you can).          Another student commented
   The polls had quite a               t h e p u r c h a s i n g o f 17 n e w      The Grand Rapids Press re-          What are the things that made       that transportation for events was
t urnout for Tuesday’s voting          buses and the hiring of 51 new           ported that the proposed improve-      it most memorable? Meeting          sometimes an issue and admitted,
across sout hwest M ichigan.           bus drivers.                             ments will cost approximately          new people? A lighter home-         “I couldn’t go to a few because I
Among the variet y of issues               Public transportation in Grand       $3.7 million annually over the         work load? Rearranging the          had no ride.” Other people ap-
being voted on, spanning city          Rapids and the sur rounding              next five years. On a voter-to-vot-    furniture in your dorm room         preciated that there wasn’t a rigid
taxes and school board appoint-        area will see several changes            er basis, current estimates suggest    every other week? For many          method to each event.
ments, perhaps the issue most          in the near future. Bus frequen-         that, in order to pay for the up-      students, the beginning of the          “I really enjoyed having loose-
relevant to Calvin students was        cy will increase, so that buses          grades, the annual property taxes      year was marked by the Buck         ly organized activities at which I
that concerning the                                                                         for each $100,000 of       Friday weekend events. The          could meet and mingle with other
transit millage.                                                                            house market value         Buck Fridays team coordinated       students during the first weeks of
   The Rapid is                                                                             will increase by $17.50.   many exciting activities, but       school,” said another.
the prime means                                                                             The millage sets aside     unfortunately, they stopped             Everyone agrees Buck Fridays
of t ranspor tation                                                                         $73.50 per taxpayer for    midway through the semester.        was fantastic in theory, but some
to and from school                                                                          the system, up from        I sent out a survey to my dorm      of the logistics may need rethink-
for some off-campus                                                                         $56.                       to gauge how Buck Fridays           ing for future events.
st ude nt s. Eve n for                                                                         T he cont rove r s y    was received and gather a few           The most popular Friday event
t hose who a re less                                                                        around the millage has     suggestions on what students        was (of course) the one that took
d e p e nd e nt , G r a nd                                                                  arisen in light of the     think would be f un in the          the most effort to launch and
Rapids public trans-                                                                        nail-bitingly close re-    future.                             the most participation from all
portation serves the                                                                        sults. The costs of the       W hen I asked my dor m           the dorms. The carnival hosted
p u r p o s e of q u ic k ,                                                                 millage will be carried    mates what they thought of          on the Commons Lawn was a
cheap t ranspor ta-                                                                         by residents of Grand      Buck Fridays, the response was      complete success. It featured ev-
tion around cam-                                                                            Rapids, East Grand         overwhelmingly positive. One        erything from inflatable obstacle
p u s, E a s t ow n a nd                                                                    Rapids, Kent wood,         student said, “The program is       courses to face painting, its many
downtown.                                                                                   Wyoming, Grandville        awesome. It’s one of the things     stations inviting students in with
   Last year the Rapid                                                                      and Wyoming, all of        I boasted about to my friends       the promise of anything from free
t ranspor ted over                                       PHOtO cOurteSy OF ridetHeraPid.Org whom were able to vote     who don’t go to Calvin.”            candy to a pet fish. A close second
10 m i l l ion pa sse n- Grand Rapids passed a millage increase for the                     on the issue. However,        Others agreed that it was an     to the carnival, the $1 dollar mov-
gers. With the chang- Rapid by a margin of only 136 votes.                                  millage proponents         effective way to integrate fresh-   ies were also well-accepted by the
es introduced by                                                                            in Grand Rapids and        men into Calvin life. “It was       student body.
the millage, the                                                                            East Grand Rapids          a great idea,” another student          So what is to become of the
7 5 0 j o b s s u p p l i e d b y t h e will arrive at least once every were able to overwhelm the ma-                 said “All of the events appealed    p r og ra m? Eve r y one of t he
R apid w i l l b e i nc r e a s ed to half hour between 5 a.m. and jority negative vote in the other                   to different people, so it wasn’t   recipients of my survey expressed
829, a nd t he $9 0 m i l l ion it 7:15 p.m. Also, all routes will areas.                                              focused on one type of person.”     a desire for Buck Fridays to
brings into the Grand Rapids run until at least 11:15 p.m. on                      The millage was cer tainly             And of course, the program       cont i nue a nd of fe red a few
e c o n o my w i l l r i s e t o o ve r weekdays or later for the most democ rat ic, but vote r s who                  was most greatly appreciat-         suggestions for future events.
$97 million.                            popular votes.                          felt overpowered question its          ed for its affordability, stay-     Many suggested a trip to the
   Many, however, do not think            Additionally, the number of t r ue fai r ness. Rega rd less of               ing well within the “budget         zoo, and others set their sights
the benefits outweigh the costs, routes with 15-minute service t he fai r ness of t he vote, t he                      range” of most college stu-         on bowling or paintball. Another
resulting in the millage barely i n ea rly mor n i ng com mutes reality is that the vote passed                        dents. Calvin’s Got Talent,         group thought dances or an out-
passing.                                and afternoon rush hour will a nd a s a r e s u lt , t he e nt i r e           the bowling night and skating       door cookout would be fun on-
   According to the Grand Rapids b e e x p a n d e d . Tw o R a p i d Grand Rapids community can                       events were also remembered         campus events. Most, though,
Press, the election results showed transit lines and the beginnings expect a revamping of its public                   with fondness.                      also wanted to repeat previ-
t hat 17,28 4 people voted i n of a streetcar system will also transportation and a slight raise                          Not ever yone thought it         ous activities (such as movies
f avo r of t he m i l l a ge wh i le be added.                                  in taxes.                              lived up to all the hype, though.   and skating).

District reforms buildings
     by tyler SlamkoWSki
                                       port of the teachers union presi-
                                       dent, who says urban students
                                                                                        still no housing plans ?
         News co-editor                need the structure, support and
                                       nurturing atmosphere that K-8
    Muskegon’s largest school dis-     schools can provide. It also is be-
trict, Muskegon Public Schools,        ing shepherded by an administra-
is considering a new initiative to     tor who has experience leading a
both increase educational quality      K-8 school in Grand Rapids.
and pull back its budget. The idea        An additional impet us for
is to combine all elementary and       the consolidation comes from
middle school students into K-8        Muskegon’s success with its el-
buildings, which would allow the       ementary Spanish immersion
district to close several schools      program, which was moved into
for the 2012-2013 school year.         Steele Middle School this year.
The plan would save the district       At Steele, elementary and middle
money, but officials also believe it   school students have interacted
could “enhance” learning, retain       and grown healthily, which is
students and improve parental          in part due to separate facilities,
involvement.                           entrances and even bathrooms for
    Muskegon Public Schools faces      younger and older students.
an $11 million budget deficit for         There are many possible ben-
next year, though the schools          efits seen in other K-8 models of
would not be closed until the          schooling, including improved
2012-2013 school year. However,        instruction, better student reten-
while other potential cuts are         tion, increased parent involve-
being explored by the adminis-         ment, decreased behavioral prob-
tration of the district, the school    lems and a decreased dropout
closures are likely in the future.     rate. Most of these advantages
    “K-8 schools are very pro-         come from greater familiarity
ductive in creating a neighbor-        with staff and faculty in the dis-
                                       trict, both on the part of students
                                                                                                            there is still room available in the
hood community ownership of a
school,” said Kristina Martinez-       and parents.                                                      knollcrest east apartments for next year!
Precious, the district’s executive        At the same time, however,
director of curriculum services, in    the program has been called
an interview with The Muskegon         into question in light of a recent                                if you are interested, please stop by the
Chronicle. “The idea is families
stay together for nine years, and
                                       firestorm of pink slips, putting
                                       the jobs of over 1,000 staff in
                                                                                                         Housing Office on 3rd Floor Spoelhof or
if you have a pre-K component,         jeopardy for next year. While the
                                       district claims that the majority
                                                                                                              email us at
it’s 10 years.”
    Currently, the district operates   of pink slips will be recalled, the
seven elementary schools, two          district has still pushed staunchly                             this is a great opportunity to join a vibrant,
middle schools, a high school, an      for a millage extension for a new
early education center, an alterna-    synthetic turf football field. These                                upper-class on-campus community.
tive and community education           issues, compounded by the up-
building, and a special education
building. The consolidation plan
                                       coming dialogues with students
                                       and parents about the new K-8
                                                                                                    you won’t want to miss out on this experience!
will scale back the elementary         concept, have put Muskegon
and middle schools into four to
six kindergarten-through-eighth-
                                       Public Schools in a difficult po-
                                       sition that Governor Snyder’s
                                       upcoming education cuts will
                                                                                                                         apply today!
grade buildings.
    The K-8 concept has the sup-       only exacerbate.
4        Campus & Community news                                                   C him es                                                                          May 6, 2011

                                                                                                       Band wins battle
                 A Fond Farewell
    Chimes wishes all retirees, including any we have missed,
                                                                                                                 By	jON	BEHM
                                                                                                                Managing	Editor

                                                                                                          Calvin College’s own Dave
                                                                                                                                              day competition.
                                                                                                                                                 “It was a little strange,” Droski
                                                                                                                                              stated of the new format. “We
                                                                                                                                              still went up against some of our
                                                                                                                                              normal competition, though, and
                                                                                                       Droski will be opening for a           it was tough. The competition
                                                                                                       nationally renowned band at            was much better than last year.”
       the best in the years to come. Thanks for all your                                              this year’s Muskegon Summer               Opening for Papa Roach and
                                                                                                       Celebration. What band he will         Chavelle last year really helped
                            hard work!                                                                 open for, though, is still up for
                                                                                                                                              t he b a nd g a i n mo me n t u m .
                                                                                                                                              Since the Summer Celebration,
    Professors                                                                                            “We haven’t been told who
                                                                                                       we’re opening for,” Droski said.
                                                                                                                                              Deadwood Stone has opened for
                                                                                                                                              Fuel and Pop Evil.
                                                                                                       “They on ly have t wo ar tists            “We’ve been doing a lot of
    •	   Judith A. Baker,	assistant	professor	of	nursing:	Baker	got	her	BA	from	Calvin		               they’ve announced at this point:       shows since the Celebration,”
                                                                                                       Pop Evil and Trey Songz.”              Droski said. “In fact, we were just
    	    College	in	1964.	Her	specialty	is	adult	medical-surgical	nursing.	After	working		                Droski is a full-time employ-       booked to open for Queensryche
    	    at	Blodgett	Memorial	Medical	Center	from	1987	to	1997,	she	worked	at	Hope		                   ee at Knollcrest Dining Hall.          on Aug. 17 at the Orbit Room.”
                                                                                                       He is also the lead guitarist of          Currently, Deadwood Stone
    	    as	a	clinical	instructor	and	assistant	professor.	In	2003	she	became	a	professor		            the band Deadwood Stone, an            has only one CD,” Exit Strategy,”
    	    at	Calvin	College	until	the	present.	In	2006	she	published	“Spiritual	Care	in		               up -and- com i ng band t hat is        but they are in the process of re-
    	    Nursing:	Christ	Has	No	Hands	but	Ours.”	                                                      gaining a strong fan base in the       cording their next album.
                                                                                                       local area.                               The album, which has not been
    •	   Gerard Fondse, Jr.,	assistant	professor	of	English:	Fondse	received	his	BA	from		                In late April, Deadwood Stone       named yet, will consist of at least
                                                                                                       participated in the Muskegon           10 original tracks. Droski is hop-
    	    Calvin	College	in	1969	and	his	MA	from	Michigan	State	University.	One	of	his		                Summer Celebration Battle of           ing to get a bit more time to work
    	    fields	of	specialty	is	rhetoric	in	cross-cultural	settings	(access	to	rhetorical		            the Bands hosted by Club Envy.         on it during the summer when his
    	    discourse	by	disadvantaged	demographics).	He	has	served	as	a	mentor	with		                    They won the competition last          dining hall responsibilities are a
                                                                                                       year and opened for Papa Roach         bit slower.
    	    the	Calvin	College	Mentoring	Program.	                                                        and Chavelle as a result.                 “We almost have the drums
                                                                                                          “Winning last year was great,”      completely recorded,” Droski
    •	   Thomas B. Hoeksema,	professor	of	education:	Hoeksema	received	both	his		                      Droski commented. “I’m hoping          stated. “I’m hoping to get in there
    	    MA	and	his	Ph.D	from	Michigan	State	University.	His	research	interests	include		              we can get another big band to         and do my guitar stuff so that we
                                                                                                       open for.”                             can get a summer release for the
    	    Christian	perspectives	on	disability,	inclusive	education,	film	and	disability,	religious		      The format of the competition       album.”
    	    freedom	for	persons	with	intellectual	disability,	and	friendship.	In	2010	he	published		      was a bit different than it was last      “Exit Strategy” is available
    	    an	article	called,	“Inclusive	Christian	Schooling:	Introduction	to	the	theme	issue.”	         year. Rather than having a two-        for download on iTunes and
                                                                                                       day battle with one day dedicated      Amazon. The tracks can also
    •	   Beryl L. Hugen,	professor	of	social	work:	Hugen	received	his	BA	in	sociology		                to rock and the other to country,      be heard on the band’s website,
                                                                                                       the battle was a mixed-genre two-
    	    from	Calvin	College,	his	MSW	from	Western	Michigan	University	and	his	Ph.D		
    	    from	the	University	of	Kansas.	His	teaching	and	research	interests	include	policy/	
    	    programs	for	vulnerable	populations	and	child	welfare.	In	2008	he	co-edited		
    	    the	work,	“Christianity	and	Social	Work:	Readings	on	the	Integration	of	Christian		
    	    Faith	and	Social	Work	Practice.”	
    •	   Thomas L. Jager,	professor	of	mathematics:	Received	his	BA	from	Calvin	College		
    	    in	mathematics	and	philosophy	in	1966	and	his	Ph.D	from	University	of	Chicago	in		
    	    1971.	He	began	teaching	at	Calvin	College	in	1974.	He	likes	solving	mathematical		
    	    problems,	and	his	thesis	work	was	on	group	theory.	He	also	did	some	work	with		
    	    faculty	in	the	philosophy	department	working	on	modal	logic.	
    •	   William R. Stevenson, Jr.,	professor	of	political	science:	Stevenson	received	his		
    	    BA	in	English	from	the	University	of	North	Carolina	in	1972	and	a	BA	in	political		
    	    science	from	the	University	of	Massachusetts	in	1975.	He	earned	his	master’s	in		
    	    political	science	and	philosophy	in	1978	and	a	Ph.D	in	government	in	1984.	He	began		
    	    teaching	at	Calvin	College	in	1989.	He	recently	completed	a	five-year	term	as	the		
    	    chair	of	the	political	science	department.	
                                                                                                                                                    PHOTO	COURTESy	OF	TABETHA	SMRCINA	
                                                                                                       Dave Droski, Knollcrest employee, is opening for a nationally
                                                                                                       renowned band at this year’s Muskegon Summer Celebration.
    •	   Diane D. VanderPol,	librarian:	VanderPol	is	the	government	documents		
    	    librarian.	Her	responsibilities	have	included	government	documents,	reference		
    	    desk,	liaison	to	the	geology,	geography	and	environmental	studies	department;		
    	    political	science	department;	and	Sociology	and	Social	Work	Department.	
    •	 Frank Gorman,	college	architect.
    •	   Nancy VerMerris,	director	of	health	services:	BS,	Wheaton	College;	BSN,		
    	    Columbia	University;	MSN,	Grand	Valley	State	University.	VerMerris	has	been		
    	    director	of	health	services	since	1998.	She	is	a	certified	Women’s	Health	Nurse		
    	    Practitioner	with	expertise	and	interest	in	women’s	health	and	wellness	issues.	
    •	   Sam Anema,	senior	systems	engineer	for	CIT.	He	has	worked	at	Calvin	since		
    	    1976.	He	has	provided	leadership	for	CIT	and	functional	team	projects	and	shared		
    	    responsibility	with	other	systems	engineers	in	the	network	operations	center	for		
    	    the	design,	configuration,	installation	and	maintenance	of	our	campus	network	and		
    	    associated	equipment.
    •	 Dawn Bush,	director	of	academic	technology	services	for	CIT.	She	has	worked	at		
    	 Calvin	since	1985.	Her	campus	services	include	HelpDesk,	teaching	and	learning		
    	 and	technology	integration	services.
    •	 Vicki Nolan,	department	assistant	for	the	Knollcrest	East	Apartments.	She	has		
    	 worked	at	Calvin	since	1995.	
    •	   Nancy Zylstra,	CIT	communications	manager.	She	has	worked	at	Calvin	since		
    	    1994.	She	received	a	BS	in	sociology	from	Eastern	Michigan	University	and	a		
    	    BS	in	information	systems	from	Aquinas.		She	has	been	responsible	for	developing,		
    	    managing	and	coordinating	CIT’s	outgoing,	incoming	and	internal	communication		
                                                                                                       Shrewly Hoogstra and Gaylen Badger bust a move
    •	 Bill Parmenter,	Calvin	College	building	services.	                                              at the CRC’s annual “Worldly Amusement Night”.
May 6, 2011                                                                           C him es                                                    Campus & Community news          5

                                                                                Residence Life

bv se
                                                                            d o m i n at e s 2010 -2011
   Family is the word for Beets-Veenstra. Though BV was the Chaos Day                               It was a great year to be a son of Schultze or a daughter of Eldersveld. The
champion this year, the unique nature of this dorm came in the little things:                    year started out with a bang, with a giant slip-n-slide, an ice cream fight, a
dorm worships where a different resident would speak every week, pulling                         water-fight and a home-made mini golf course all over the basement. Chaos
pranks on the RAs and cooking with brother and sister floors. With a strong                      day drew about 80 percent of SE out of their beds on Saturday morning for
residential staff, from the RD down to each floor’s AC, Beets-Veenstra was                       some lively inter-dorm competition. The following weekend, 75 percent of SE
a dorm that didn’t confine itself to individual floors; rather, every event was                  went out to Camp Henry for a retreat, enjoying the standard mixer games
seen in light of the entire community. Next year, we will watch all but one RA                   and capture the flag, along with structured “rivertooth” walks in small groups.
move on, as well as watching our Resident Director, Annie Mas-Smith, move                           After the excitement of the start of the year, people settled into their routines
up to a job as the Area Coordinator of Knollcrest East Apartments. All of                        of school, friends and life. SE residents got involved in SE’s community partner-
these fantastic leaders were the heart of our dorm, giving a strong sense of                     ship, tutoring ESL and helping out with an afterschool program at Roosevelt
unity throughout all residents and building up the pride of Calvin’s oldest dorm.                Park CRC. Several Philippians Bible studies, including two all-SE bible studies,
“It has allowed me the opportunity to grow and change in so many reward-                         helped students grow in their faith. International Treasure was a hit, and several
ing ways,” said Mas-Smith. “Specific to BV, I would say the most unique part of                  SE folks went to SAO concerts and conversations together. Other fall highlights
my experience was the deep sense of community we have here and that we                           include a trip out to a Hoedown at Post Family Farms, a visit to Roosevelt Park
are a dorm family. While there is a sense of connection to your floor and floor-                 CRC for a church service and a community lunch. The winter ball at Fredrick
mates, there is also a strong connection to BV as a whole and what it means to live              Mejier Gardens provided SE an excuse to get dressed up and enjoy an evening
with others well. I have learned over the last two years what it takes to live with              of elegant and not-so-elegant dancing.
others well and how to support each other in the process of growing                                 In January, SE took second place in Kill-a-Watt and picked up some sustainable

bht nvw
and developing.”                                                                                 habits which have lasted all year long, including shutting off lights in unoccupied
                                                                                                 common spaces. This spring SE ventured out together on a backpack trip to
                                                                                                 Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore over Easter weekend, and over to Roosevelt
                                                                                                 Park neighborhood, to get to know the neighborhood surrounding our dorm
   With the end of the semester in sight, Bolt-Heyns-Timmer is looking back                      partner church. All year long, SE has enjoyed quality time together in the base-
at a year of great accomplishment. Highlights for the year included a strong                     ment with the SE Weekly on Tuesdays and Praise break on Wednesdays. Still to
comeback on Chaos Day, putting BHT in second place, as well as the dorm                          come in SE: a spring banquet (May 6), the Night of the Mystic Fire picnic (May
retreat at Camp Roger, the winter party at Woodlawn Ministry Center and                          10) and a Euchre Tournament (May 10). SE’s RAs and leaders were instrumental
the Spring Banquet at English Hills Country Club.                                                in building a strong community in SE this year.
   “I can honestly say that I will miss my residents and especially my student
leaders,” said Tera Dent, Resident Director of BHT. “It has been the people
of the dorm that has made this year wonderful.”
   Each year, BHT awards the Duke Heartlight Award to a member of our                               Noordewier-VanderWerp brought its A-game this year, coordinating various
community who embodies the spirit of the Duke. This person is recognized                         activities within its own community as well as with other dorms. In addition to
for making a meaningful contribution to BHT community by serving and giving                      its dorm banquet and participation in campus-wide activities like Kill-a-Watt,
of themselves in a significant way. This year’s recipient was Stephanie Toering.                 NVW also worked in combined dorm worships with Beets-Veenstra and

bb khvr
   BHT is looking forward to new contributions by next year’s leadership as                      competed in Chaos Day. NVW’s pride this year was the growth of its student
well as incoming freshmen and also toward the new intentional living community                   leadership, who have been dedicated, supportive and kind to their floors and
that will be housed in Ground Timmer, coordinated by Chris Klein.                                the entire dorm.
                                                                                                    “I am finishing my fourth year as an RD in NVW this year, long enough to see
                                                                                                 many of my students graduate and enter the ‘real world,’ which is rewarding and
                                                                                                 exciting. I can’t wait to go to graduation this year, because the students who
   After winning of Chaos Day last year, Boer-Bennink had quite a bit to live up                 were first-year students during my first year as an RD are now graduating,” said
to this year. Unfortunately we weren’t able to hold on to the title and lost it                  Aaron Einfeld, Resident Director of Noordewier-VanderWerp. “A highlight has
to the admirable BV. This failure, however, did not reflect on the dorm for the                  been working with motivated and energetic student leadership from year to
rest of the year. Overall, this year has been a great one. A very involved CLC                   year. The student experience is shaped greatly by fellow student leaders, and
staff worked very hard to build a great community and succeeded greatly. Not                     Calvin as an institution owes a lot to the student leadership – many of them
only was each floor community excellent but the entire dorm had this sense                       unpaid, who faithfully serve their floors and buildings. Student leaders bring
of connectedness that not only was on chaos day but lasted for the entire year.                  fresh energy, ideas and commitment to their peers.”
Certain things that were exceptionally fun this year were the fall retreat, which
was once again held at camp tall turf, and the Post Family Farms hayride and
square dance. Attendance for both of these events was great and we can only
assume that next year’s sophomores will do as good of a job welcoming the                           While Kalsbeek-Huizenga-van Reken is the dorm farthest away from academic
new freshmen and again build a very tight-knit community in BB. Having just                      buildings, it is certainly not the farthest away from the liveliness and excitement
finished the dorm banquet and Boer day approaching quickly, the end of the                       of dorm life. Home to over 320 students, KHvR has held a variety of popular
year has been exciting and moving rapidly. In terms of next year, the residents                  events, both inside and outside its walls. Most recently, 194 students attended
are eagerly awaiting the new CLC staff, the new RAs, and the new RD since                        the dorm banquet, one of the dorm’s most popular events.
the current RD, Diana Burns, is wrapping up her fourth and final year as RD.                        This past year KHvR was involved with a variety of community organizations.
She will be greatly missed as she has been a great leader for BB during these                    Most prominent was the dorm’s partnership with North End Community
last few years. As the old leave and new begin to pick up their new responsibili-                Ministries’ Supper House, where KHvR helped the group serve two hot meals
                                                                                                 a week to the Grand Rapids community.

ties, one can’t help but feel like a changing of the guard is happening within the
dorm, and it’s exciting to see where it will go from here.                                          Led by Curt Essenburg, Resident Director of KHvR, and Chris Klein, the
                                                                                                 Living-Learning Program Coordinator for van Reken, KHvR will start off the
                                                                                                 2011- 2012 academic year with 12 Resident Assistants, as well as 53 CLC mem-
   With all of the excitement of this year, Rooks-VanDellen was not lost in                      bers. Essenburg, Chelsea Whitener (the 2011-2012 Dorm President) and the
Calvin’s landscape. While the dorm didn’t make the top tier in this year’s Chaos                 up-and-coming Activities Council are already hard at work planning activities
Day, RVD enjoyed an excellent leadership team with both a strong RA and CLC                      for the upcoming year, in addition to the annual Pegasus Picnic.
staff. RVD put together a strong presentation for incoming freshmen, giving a                       As the newest dorm on campus, KHvR is still working to build a unified com-
strong sense of community to all new residents. Upcoming is the traditional                      munity, but every year the leadership, as well as the students, build tradition
Red Day, a celebration of RVD’s veritable obsession with the color red.                          and increase excitement about and involvement in their community.
   Rooks-VanDellen is looking to the future as it is losing its beloved Resident
Director, Kyle Heys. Heys has been the Resident Director of RVD for several                                Love what happens on our campus? So do we.
years and will be moving on to a new position on the staff of Calvin College.
Leading many different workshops and this year’s leadership orientation, Heys                                 Write for Campus and Community News.
has been an advocate for quality residence life in RVD. He will be greatly missed                           If interested, email
as both a leader and a friend in his dorm.
6                     O pi n iOn
                                                                                                   Let me be very clear: the average American family cannot pay $50,000 a year

                 a n d E di t Or i a l
                                                                                                   for four years to send a child to a private college. But that’s exactly where Calvin
                                                                                                   College is heading.                   -Andrew Steiner, “Tuition prices,” p.7

God reveals himself both in Scripture and in science
Solutions to human origins debate need not pit general and special revelation against each other
                                       ing God is through scripture. The        rendered, “Once upon a time.”           meeting? Furthermore, who does       sin brought death to beings made
    by Micah SchuurMan                 confession speaks of creation as if          The second creation account         Cain marry?                          in the image of God. Adam and
           Guest Writer                it is a book that God has written.       begins much differently, “elih             Another interesting passage       Eve, still bearing the image of
                                           The Belgic Confession doesn’t        toledot” or, “This is the account       is Genesis 6:1-4. This passage       God, went out into the chaotic
    Ripples from the debates at        address what creation might re-          of...” The pharase occurs 10 times      speaks of “The sons of God and       world and began to live. Their de-
Calvin College concerning hu-          veal about humans, particularly          in Genesis: 2:4, 6:9, 10:1, 11:10,      the daughters of men...” The         scendants mated with the homi-
man origins have spread across         our origins. All the same, the           11:27, 25:12, 25:19, 36:1, 36:9         word, “elohim” used here could       nids who had evolved, creating a
the pond to the seminary, where        confession talks about creation          and 37:2. The occurences of this        mean God, gods or heavenly be-       hybrid species which nevertheless
I am finishing up my second of         on the same level as scripture,          phrase serve almost like chapter        ings (as translated in Psalm 8:5)    had the full image of God as well
three years.                           perhaps even giving it a bit of          titles, breaking up the book into       Thus, the phrase could also be       as original sin.
    The Christian debate over hu-      primacy. There is no reason that         sections. Thus, the second cre-         translated as, “The sons of the         This is just one attempt to rec-
man origins has tended to happen       we can’t apply the same reason-          ation account, following Genesis        heavenly beings and the daugh-       oncile the accounts of creation
along a continuum. On one side         ing used in Article 2 and apply it       2:4, has a much different feel from     ters of Adam...” But both trans-     with other difficult passages in
are those who take the opening         more generally to the aparent con-       the first account. Genesis 2:4-25       lations are equally possible. The    Genesis as well as with science.
of Genesis quite literally. There      f lict between evolutionism and          is presented in the same manner         question remains. Who are these      There certainly are other pos-
are gradations within that camp,       creationism. Science interprets          as the stories about Abraham,           two groups? How are they differ-     sibilities and I invite people to
including some who insist that the     the book of creation. Theology           Isaac, Jacob and Joseph. The            ent? How are they the same? Who      come up with other scenarios.
creation took place 6,000 years        interprets the book of Scripture.        author seems to place the parts         are the Nephalim? They exist         From what I can tell, this scenario
ago in six 24-hour days. Others        Bot h book s were w r it ten by          of Genesis following 2:4 on same        before the flood and they seem       is completely compatible with the
in that camp are willing to be-        God. Why then do they seem               level, relating them in similar         to survive the flood, even getting   Reformed creeds and confessions
lieve in a slightly more figurative    to conflict?                             ways.                                   mention in Numbers 13:33.            not to mention the applicable
interpretation of the passages as          I would like to propose what             Even then, the second creation         In light of these passages, I     Biblical passages.
long as one retains a literal Adam     I believe is a possible solution to      narrative still contains lots of        would like to propose a possible        This doesn’t mean that the so-
and Eve and a literal Fall. On the     this dilemma. In order to do that,       descriptive imagery that seem           narrative that tries to connect      lution is faultless. Some problems
other side of the continuum are        I need to examine a few Biblical         slightly out of place in a “history.”   them all. After the creation of      include the possibility of some
those who see no reason to treat       passages, as well as a few that          Adam simply means “man.”                matter, God battled with Satan,      hominids existing today who do
the Biblical account as though it      tend to recieve little attention by      The author is clearly making a          casting him and his demons down      not have the image of God. This
is speaking about human origins.       those who claim to have the high         pun when talking about Adam             into the world. As God created       possibility is provided by the fact
For these people, science should       ground when it comes to reading          being made from the dust of the         plants, animals and hominids         that Genesis 6:4 suggests that
have the first and last word con-      the Bible literally.                     ground. The word for ground is          through evolution, Satan caused      some people may have survived
cerning human evolution. Some              The first two passages that I        “adamah.” And so, adam is be-           the process of evolution to be       the f lood. Unfortunately, this
on this side do not believe that       would like to address are the two        ing made from the adamah. All           violent and brutal, inducing much    could be manipulated in order to
the creation of the human soul         creation accounts in Genesis.            the same, the second account of         suffering. Chaos filled the earth.   justify racism.
was a special act of God. Many         Contrary to popular opinion,             creation was meant to be taken          God then decided to subdue his          Another potential problem is
Christians find themselves some-       there are two stories about how          more literally than the first, po-      chaotic creation by means of a       the fact that the original author
where in the middle, between           God created the heavens and              etic, account. So far, things look      D-day-like beachhead, the gar-       of Genesis could never have
these two camps, claiming that         the earth. The first is Genesis          bad for those who want to claim         den of Eden. God created Eden        dreamed of evolution nor was
God used evolution to create life      1:1-2:3. The second is Genesis           that humans evolved.                    and placed Adam and Eve there,       he seeking to answer the sort of
on earth with super-natural inter-     2:4-25. The two tell slightly dif-           But, there are other verses in      instructing them to FILL the         questions we are bringing to the
vention on occasion, particularly      ferent stories; verse 2:5 seems to       the early parts of genesis that         earth and SUBDUE it. (There are      Bible today. It would be wrong to
concerning the soul and the im-        say that God made Adam before            add some context to this second         strong parallels between Genesis     say that the author of Genesis is
age of God.                            he created any plants. In con-           account of creation. One of the         1:28-31 and Genesis 9:1-3. In the    making a case for the evolution
    The discussion tends to be-        trast, the first account of creation     most interesting is Genesis 4:9-16.     latter passage, the author leaves    of hominids. That being said, the
come one between those who             says that humans were created            Following Cain’s murder of Abel,        out the reference to subduing        author does seem to think that
str uggle to explain away the          after plants.                            God tells Cain that he must leave       the earth. Perhaps God has just      there were hominids existing in
Bible (encountering particular             The first creation account is        the land and wander the world.          accomplished this in the flood!)     the dawn of humanity who were
difficulties regarding the doctrine    brimming with poetic features.           Cain is fearful that someone will       The shalom found in Eden was         not descended from Adam and
of original sin) and those who         It has some striking parallels with      kill him. Those who emphasize           to spread throughout the whole       Eve. There seems to be room
struggle to explain away science.      Ancient Near Eastern creation            a “traditional” view of human           world, restoring order. Although     here for a wide variety of beliefs
A particularly troubling problem       myths. Notably, it begins with the       origins sometimes try to say that       God made Adam and Eve similar        concerning human origins.
is that both sides run the risk        phrase “Beresheet.” Often trans-         Cain is afraid that his family          in appearance to the hominids           In light of all this, I see no
of disregarding Article 2 of the       lated as, “In the beginning,” it         will kill him. But, Cain resisted       already walking the earth, he        reason why those who attempt
Belgic Confession. Article 2 asks      should better be translated as, “In      being sent away. He wanted to           gave them his image, something       to interpret the Bible literally
how humans come to know God.           a beginning.” The Masoritic Text         stay with his family. If he feared      unique to them.                      and committed evolutionists
The answer is surprising. The          and the Septuigent both lack the         his family, he would have been             But Adam and Eve fell. The        cannot both affirm that modern
first means of knowing God listed      definite article, “the.” It might be     eager to leave and escape their         serpent from the chaotic world       humans have ancestors which
in the confession is through cre-      disconcerting, but the opening to        wrath. Instead, he resists banish-      snuck into the garden and de-        include a literal Adam and Eve
ation. The second means of know-       Genesis might be most accurately         ment. Who is it that he dreads          ceived the two humans. And so,       and apes.

Intramural staff needs to get act together
                                       Last week, both my soccer and            ured that this rule was fine with       game even started. To make it        greatly displeased with the in-
        by JoSh yonker                 volleyball games were rained out.        us as long as the other team also       worse, I sent an e-mail to the       tramural coordinators and feel
           Guest Writer                The coordinators didn’t send the         played with the sticks provided for     intramural office regarding this     something needs to be done about
                                       captains an e-mail telling them          us. However, when we got to our         rule, saying that I thought it was   it. There is no organization in
   I have been terribly disap-         that the game was canceled un-           next game, the other team was           unfair and that I wanted an expla-   the office my experience shows,
pointed this year with the orga-       til about 20 minutes before the          allowed to play the entire first        nation as to why this was allowed,   and they aren’t making an effort
nization of the intramural staff.      scheduled start. This is way too         period with their own sticks, so        and I never received a reply.        to make intramurals fun and
Throughout the year, I have            late, as they need to let their entire   I asked the coordinator why they           In all honesty, I could go on     fair. Coordinators aren’t en-

                                                                                                                                                  Fight for your right
played several sports and could        team know; or people living off          could use their own sticks if we        longer, but I think this proves      forcing rules and aren’t doing
complain about each in one or          campus too, this is hardly enough        couldn’t. He said if it bothered me     my point. Overall, I have been       their jobs.

                                                                                                                                                             to write.
more ways. A few of the prob-          time. To add to the problems and         that much, he would make them
lems I have encountered include        lack of communication, there has         play without their sticks, and so
several e-mails I have sent this       been no communication regard-            I asked him to tell them to follow
year regarding schedule conflicts,     ing whether the rained-out games         the rules. The other team said
unfair advantages and poor or-         are going to be rescheduled or if        they would, yet they were allowed

                                                                                                                                                               Contribute to
ganization with the staff. I have      they are considered canceled.            to continue playing the game with
received a grand total of one reply.      The third problem I encoun-           their own sticks. The reason this
    To begin, my football team         tered this year is the response          bothers me so much is, number
this past week had a game in           from e-mails regarding roster            one, if the intramural staff is go-
which we were unable to have           changes. As captains, we were            ing to make a new rule part way
more than three players attend,        sent e-mails saying that all we          through the season, they need to
and requested a change of date         had to do to change our roster           enforce it, and number two, real
for the game. The rules state that
if a team can’t make a game, it is
                                       was send an e-mail to the intra-
                                       mural staff. So that’s what I did.
                                                                                sticks give the team using them
                                                                                an advantage as they are longer,                                                    Chimes.
allowed to arrange a new date for      However, a week later when we            stronger and harder to break. Our
the game. However, our captain         had our next game, I showed              team had a stick slashed (two min-
received an email from the intra-      up with the changed roster and           ute minor in hockey) because the
mural staff saying that if we were     was told that some of my play-           opponents were using real sticks.
unable to show up with a team,         ers weren’t on the roster, so they          However, this isn’t where my
we would forfeit the game. So, the     couldn’t play.                           rant ends. Another huge disad-
few guys who could make it to the         Next, I want to talk about some       vantage that they allowed was the
game quickly scrambled and got         of the problems I had with hock-         use of goalie pads for teams that
a roster, only to show up and be       ey. To begin, the intramural staff       owned them. The team my team
informed by the coordinator that       sent out an email to all players         played in the first round of the
our teams game was no longer on        in the hockey league saying that         playoffs was privileged to own a
the schedule for the week.             they were no longer going to al-         pair of pads, while I had no pads
   Another problem I encoun-           low players to use their own sticks      as the goalie for my team. Pads
tered this year with intramurals       because they were scratching the         give a goalie a huge advantage in
is a lack of communication when        floor. My team had been using            hockey, so my team was already
it comes to rained-out games.          some of our own sticks, but fig-         at a big disadvantage before the
May 6, 2011                                                                                  C him Es                                                                OpiniOn and EditOrial 7

Chimes talks tuition raises and donations with VP Henry DeVries
   On April 29, Chimes met with          impact on what we call philan-          of the quality indicators is the       money for operations. Starting         I think it’s safe to say we are
Henry DeVries, vice president            thropic giving, money we get            student-to-faculty ratio. In higher    10 years ago with DeVos and the        continuing to work to make sure
for administration, finance and          from the denomination ... money         education, typically speaking, the     bridge, we raised money. It was        Calvin is accessible. Part of the
information services, to ask him         we get directly from the college.       more faculty you have for a given      set aside for the endowment, and       ongoing fundraising of the col-
about tuition at Calvin. A tuition       Those two, the annual fund and          student body size, it’s generally      every year it kicks off dollars to     lege is for scholarships, for named
increase will be voted on at the         the denominational ministry             understood, assumed, whatever,         pay for the utilities and the snow     scholarships for upper-class schol-
Synod of the Christian Reformed          shares are about $6 million a year,     that you get a better education.       removal and the custodial, the         arships. We had somebody step
Church in America in June.               but people who could give signifi-      Over the past 15 years, the col-       building operational expens-           forward this year and say “I’d like
   The total cost of a year at           cant contributions … cut back on        lege’s faculty-student ratio has       es. There’s money like that for        to give the college some money
Calvin in 2010-2011, including           their giving, and that was to be ex-    dropped from about 16-to-1 to          DeVries Hall, there’s money like       specifically for scholarships to get
tuition, room and board and fees,        pected. Interest income, we have        about 13-to-1. ...                     that for the Fieldhouse, money         freshmen to come.” So fundrais-
is $33,395. From the 2006-2007 to        monies that are in the bank, and           Now that comes at a cost.           like that for the Fine Arts Center.    ing and accessibility and financial
2010-2011, cost has increased by         some of those funds support the         Someone could say, well if we          So students and their families         aid is on the forefront. Whether
21.4 percent. Calvin is not unique       operation, about a half a million       went back to 16-to-1, we could         are actually getting the benefit       it will make the institution inac-
in this regard. According to The         dollars a year. Interest income         save I-don’t-know-how-many             of philanthropic giving for build-     cessible, it’s hard for me to say.
New York Times, the average              was zero because the markets            hundreds of thousands or mil-          ing the facility and for building      The turn in the economy could
debt for students graduating with        went [down]. ...                        lions of dollars, but I would posit    operations. And certainly we           have far more impact than how
bachelor’s degrees in the United            And in order for us to balance       that it would reduce the quality of    hired a few more students in the       we react.
States has risen to $24,000.             the budget ... some faculty posi-       a Calvin education because you’d       operations, to manage the facili-
                                         tions were not renewed. Openings        have fewer faculty members to          ties for safety, but the actual cost      Chimes: So, could you give
    Chimes: So basic question,           were not necessarily declared           work with and take classes from.       of the buildings is independent        me any idea of what Calvin is
why has tuition increased?               where people were retiring and                                                 from tuition and tuition expenses.     doing to meet this challenge? Is
    DeVries: The college’s operat-       some staff members left to pursue          Chimes: So, you raised the                                                 Calvin trying to evolve at all as
ing budget, which is the general         other options, and we didn’t fill       issue of the decrease in philan-          Chimes: Did Calvin inten-           an institution to make things
day-to-day operations, is a little       the positions.                          thropic giving to the college.         tionally allocate efforts to get...?   more accessible?
less than $100 million, but for the                                                 DeVries: ... Ken [Erffmeyer]           DeVries: Efforts to raise the          DeVries: Well, I think that’s
sake of conversation, we’ll say it’s        Chimes: Would you say that           can give you information about         funds. Those were identified.          part of the last two years where
$100 million. Of that $100 mil-          the rising cost of tuition is the       that kind of stuff, but so far we      And the Commons is also in             we increased financial aid by
lion, on the expense side, about         primary reason fewer students           have seen that the Calvin fund,        the capital campaign. It’s in the      over $3 million. Things like that
$43 million, $44 million dollars         are coming to Calvin every year?        which is the money given directly      strategic plan, but funds weren’t      are happening in order to help
goes to salaries for faculty and            DeVries: I know from talking         to the college in phone-a-thon and     able to be raised for that. It’s not   students meet need. We’ve got
staff. That is by far our single         to my colleagues ... that the fi-       given to the college in direct dona-   like you walk up to the college        Russ Bloem and Ken [Erffmeyer]
largest expense. In addition to          nancial challenge comes up much         tions, that’s quite a bit ahead of     and say, “Hey, I want to give          are really the guys who can speak
that, there’s about $17 million          more regularly than it has in the       where it was last year at this time,   you money to build a belltower.”       to that in terms of strategy and in-
$18 million worth of benefits. So        past. The cost of education. And        and last year was better than the      “Okay, we’ll build one.” It’s more     tention and program. You know,
... almost two-thirds of the cost        of course we often sort of hear         year before.                           we find donors whose interests         I sort of get the OK, here’s the
of operating Calvin College is the       the stories where the challenge is                                             match our identified needs.            number. I manage the big picture
staff. And that’s to be expected.        most severe, parents and students          Chimes: In the last three                                                  pieces, but the strategy pieces, I’d
This is a service organization.          really want to come and it just         years, we’ve had some quite               Chimes: And so what is being        encourage you to speak to Russ
Our product is the intellectual          isn’t going to work.                    obvious capital projects, the          done to raise money for scholar-       or Ken.
capital that is between the ears of         [As of now], we’re running           Spoelhof Fieldhouse, the CFAC,         ships and financial aid?
our faculty members. …                   about 5 percent higher numbers          and there’s been this Commons             DeVries: Ken [Erffmeyer] can           Chimes: So essentially, this is
    The balance of those dollars         of student who’ve made deposits,        expansion project in the works         give you more. The last capital        something we’re going to have
... is about $34 million or $35          which we kind of count as “I’m          for several years. These have          campaign, finished two years           to wait to find out, whether
million. Of that about 14, maybe         serious about coming,” but it’s         been quite expensive. I mean           ago and raised $155 million. ...       Calvin can continue to...
15 percent of that is what I would       hard to know. There’s tremen-           the Fieldhouse alone cost $50          Ken can give you the number — I           DeVries: It’s something the
describe to you as external costs,       dous uncertainty here.                  million. Why are these projects        think $22 million was raised for       board is continuing to struggle
the largest part of it being food                                                the necessary projects in this         scholarships, that was the first       with, let’s put it that way. Every
service, insurance, water, gas,             Chimes: So are Calvin stu-           time of financial crisis?              piece that was actually raised.        year when we come to the board,
you know, the utilities — prices         dents getting a better education           DeVries: Those projects are         So anytime we have these cam-          the Board of Trustees who repre-
that are determined outside of the       because they are paying more?           completely unrelated to the day-       paigns, it’s a mix of, in that one     sent people all around the country
campus. ...                                 DeVries: I think Calvin stu-         to-day operations. Let’s put it this   it was faculty research and schol-     and Canada and even interna-
    The final $20 million is actu-       dents have always gotten a great        way, in terms of their impact on       arship for centers and institutes,     tionally, say, “Explain why this
ally all the other costs that it takes   education. I don’t think the cost       the budget, it is minimal. First       student scholarships and then          is happening.” It’s not like we
to run the place. That includes          is a corollary to the quality of        of all, those projects are funded      building projects.                     just have this unfettered, “Oh,
things like travel for off-campus        the education. The correlation          by philanthropic giving. People                                               let’s pick a number and we’ll raise
programs and administration and          to the cost issue is really a rela-     gave money to pay for those.              Chimes: Again, looking back         tuition.” There’s a lot of pressure
all that. Copying and printing,          tive one. For example, if you’ve        Secondly, it’s not like tuition is     since 2006, there’s been a 21.4        from our constituency and from
and meals and lunches, buying            got somebody who’s lived on the         going up because we built the          percent increase in the cost of        our board members to keep this
stuff at the campus store, all of        east coast or the west coast who        Fieldhouse. That service for the       a Calvin education. Would you          affordable. Do the good job, keep
the departmental ... operations          is accustomed to small, private         Fieldhouse doesn’t come out            say that ... Calvin is going to be     the quality, but don’t spend any
are included in that $20 million         liberal arts colleges, they look at     of tuition.                            inaccessible for most students         more than you have to. I mean
number. It’s a little less than that     Calvin and say what a phenom-              The other part that has been        in the near future if this trend       that... that’s what students want
now because we cut it back sub-          enal deal…                              a hallmark of President Byker’s        of increasing tuition continues?       to know. That’s the direction
stantially over the last number             I think there is a correlation       time here is that when we build           DeVries: I can’t answer that        we’re getting. It’s not an unfet-
of years.                                that you can draw that is that one      buildings like that, we also raise     because I’m not close enough.          tered kind of thing.
    So in fact, you’ve got a pretty
significant amount that’s tied up
in ... what I would call fixed costs.
Personnel costs, feeding students,
                                            Tuition prices due to spin out of control, change needed
keeping the heat and lights on,                                                  does not care about the fact that      anachronistic. Enrollment has          is the year online education ex-
and there’s a relatively small                  by andreW Steiner                tuition at Calvin, and across the      dropped from 4,200 in 2008 to          ploded. I think we’ve seen our en-
percent that you can affect by                     head copy editor              country, is increasing at an expo-     3,800 this year. Beautiful though      rollments jump by 40 percent this
individual purchasing decisions.                                                 nential rate with no slow-down         the new buildings are, they don’t      year, whereas our typical (yearly)
                                               My April 29 conversation          on the horizon. No, what was           address this problem: private col-     growth is about four percent.”
    Chimes: Calvin hasn’t been             wit h Hen r y DeVr ies, v ice         frightening is that the leadership     leges are simply too expensive.           Vanden Heuvel’s expertise has
hiring new faculty or staff mem-           president for administration,         of Calvin College appears to have         Shutting off the lights in the      yet to be applied at Calvin. The
bers?                                      f i n a nce a nd I n for m at ion     no plan to curb that fatal trend.      CIT bathrooms when no one is           full article can be found in Calvin.
    DeVries: It’s been very limited.       S e r v ic e s, wa s he lpf u l. It   The helmsmen is at the wheel,          using them isn’t going to curb         edu’s news and stories archive.
Starting in the fall of 2008 when          showed me that I was wrong            but he hasn’t figured out how to       this trend. Neither will piece-           Daniel S. Christian of Calvin
the markets crashed, we hit an             and that the administration           turn the ship.                         meal reductions in staff or frozen     Infor mation Technolog y de-
economic perfect storm in terms            does not consist solely of de-           Let me be very clear: the aver-     salaries.                              livered a presentation in 2009
of the college’s economic situa-           tached mercantilists hungry           age American family cannot pay            Let me make a suggestion.           urging the college to take online
tion. That’s another factor that’s         for a dollar. By all accounts         $50,000 a year for four years to       Even though I’m a closet Luddite,      education more seriously as a
contributing to “where does the            De Vries and his comrades             send a child to a private college.     the best answer to this problem        means of making Calvin both
money go?” Because that’s really           love Calvin College and want          But that’s exactly where Calvin        seems to lie in online education.      more relevant in an evolving
what students want to know. …              the best for it. The interview        College is heading. If Calvin’s        By providing two- to four-year         society and accessible to a wider
    ... Starting in 2008, the fresh-       may have dissolved that piece         price tag continues to grow by         programs online for a sharply          range of students. More than that,
man class, instead of being 1,040          of ignorance, but it also left me     21.4 percent every five years, it      discounted price, Calvin could         Christian framed the question in
as it had been, dropped down to            frightened.                           will touch $50,000 by the end          find a way to serve those students     terms of Calvin’s survival as an
about 950. This coming year will               The topic was tuition —           of the decade. (Note: I have not       interested in a Calvin education       institution.
be the fourth year of a student            namely, why it has increased          adjusted for projected inflation.)     but unable to pay the full-price          What the college’s response
body that’s about 100 students             21.4 percent since the 2006-             Is the administration of this       of an on-campus program. This          to these suggestions has been is
smaller in the incoming class. So          2007 academic year, why it            college taking this prospect seri-     way, instead of reducing Calvin’s      unclear. His presentation can be
roughly speaking, we’ve gone to            will almost certainly increase        ously? I can point to the num-         ability to educate by cutting fac-     found here: http://www.calvin.
a place of about 4,200 students            again next year, and what is          bers. In the Campaign for Calvin       ulty and programs, Calvin could        edu/~dsc8/visions.htm.
to about 3,800 students, so the            being done about it. DeVries          College, over $90 million was          actually do more educating while          The issue of steadily rising tu-
campus, the actual student popu-           assured me that the admin-            raised for building and renova-        addressing its budget problems.        ition is not something that can be
lation, has dropped by 10 percent.         istration takes the issue of          tion projects. By contrast, $22.3         Some in the Calvin sphere have      brushed aside as an unfortunate,
    But as President Byker says,           Calvin’s affordability very           million was raised for scholar-        already started working on this.       but necessary outcome of a poor
and it’s true, you know, the econ-         seriously, operating with es-         ships and financial aid, less than     Part-time astronomy professor          economy. Neither is it an issue
omy of scale — as things grow              sentially a skeleton crew of          a quarter of the amount allocated      Andrew Vanden Heuvel received          we can afford to ignore. While
it’s really easy to add stuff, but as      staff members, intentionally          for capital projects.                  the Michigan Online Teacher of         an increase in next year’s tuition
things contract, it’s really difficult     raising money for financial              I’m not suggesting that the         the Year award in 2010 for his         is probably inevitable, surrender
to let things go. And so for the           aid, choosing not to replace          Fieldhouse and the renovated           work at the Michigan Virtual           to this fatal trend is unacceptable.
first couple years, we’ve started          retiring facult y, providing          CFAC were gratuitous projects.         School. On the popularity of the          Keep talking, raise tuiton if
reducing some programs and                 more student jobs than most           But I am suggesting that they rep-     virtual school, Vanden Heuvel          necessary, but don’t allow the
[money spent] ... We didn’t give           colleges, etc.                        resent an idealized vision of the      said in an interview with Myrna        college we love to sink while
raises for two years.                          What was frightening was          college’s current position, a set      Anderson of the communications         there is still something we can do
    The economy really had an              not that the administration           of priorities that seems strangely     and marketing department, “This        about it.
8                 Sci ence &
                                                                                                   What happened in the world of science and technology over this past year?

                 Te c h n o l o g y
                                                                                                   If you are like me, you can barely remember.

                                                                                                                        -Katie Faber, “Natural disasters, waste spills...,” p. 9

Second US face transplant a success                                                                               Can you remember them all?
Procedure raises controversial questions about surgical ethics
                                         “Though we grieve our loss,         pressants. Face transplant pa-
     By Allison schepers              we are also joyful that his passing    tients must take these medica-
           staff Writer               has made this miracle possible,”       tions for the rest of their lives,
                                      the family said.                       putting them at a high risk of
   Last week a team of surgeons at       Though Hunter did not wish to       getting sick due to a compro-
Brigham and Women’s Hospital          speak publicly, his family released    mised immune system.
in Boston successfully performed      the following statement: “The             But in the past few years,
a full face transplant on 30-year-    Hunter family is truly grateful to     general attitude toward the
old Mitch Hunter of Indiana.          the donor and his family for this      procedure has become more
   Hunter’s face was horribly         amazing gift.                          positive.
disfigured after it came in contact      “We respect and admire their           “Society has come to grips
with a power line during a car        courage and intend to honor            with the question of whether
accident in 2001.                     them by continuing in their giv-       it’s ethical to do a hand or
   A team of more than 30 doc-        ing spirit.”                           a face transplant on some-
tors, nurses and other medical           The face transplant is a brand      body who then has to take
staff worked for over 14 hours,       new procedure that has been de-        immunosuppressive medica-
giving Hunter new skin from           veloped in the last decade.            tions, which have very seri-
his forehead to ears to chin, a          The first full face transplant      ous side effects for life, or
new nose, lips and the muscles        took place at Val l d’Hebron           live with something that’s not
and nerves that allow the face        University Hospital in Barcelona       going to kill them,” said Dr.
fine motor control and sensory        in Mar. 2010.                          Joseph Losee, the director of
activity.                                The first American full face        the Facial Transplantation
   Hunter’s prognosis is excellent,   transplant took place in March         Program at the University of
although additional surgeries         of this year, also at the Brigham      Pittsburgh Medical Center.
following the transplant may          and Women’s Hospital.                     The benefits of a face trans-
be required, said Dr. Bohdan             Doctors gave a new face to          plant are many.
Pomahac, one of the surgeons          Dallas Wiens, who was critically          The face is important for
on the case and the director of       injured when his boom lift col-        breathing, speaking, eating
plastic surgery transplantation at    lided with a power line.               and interacting socially.
Brigham and Women’s Hospital.            When the concept of a face             Although face transplants
   To perform a face transplant,      transplant was first pioneered, it     have currently not been able to
a registered organ donor’s family     was controversial.                     restore sight, they have given
must also give their consent for         In addition to the psychologi-      patients the ability to talk on
the face transplant.                  cal and personal concerns of a         the phone, and Wiens said the
   The donor’s family asked to        face transplant procedure, the         greatest benefit was being able
remain anonymous, but issued a        transplant recipient is also medi-     to feel his daughter’s kisses.
statement to the press.               cally compromised.                        The Department of Defense
   “It is a gift to us to know that      Similar to other organ trans-       contributed $3.4 million the
another young man’s life could be     plants, risk for infection or rejec-   first full American transplant,
so positively changed because of      tion of the donor tissue is high, so   hoping that the procedure
our son’s giving spirit.              patients must take immunosup-          could help injured soldiers.

Desert dwellers offer ideas for adaptation
Beetles collect moisture from fog, give researchers a new way to collect water
                                      by drawing fog to condense on   water-collecting mesh worked
    By GenevA lAnGelAnd               cooler surfaces.                in Bellavista and other foggy
            staff Writer                                              communities. He also saw
                                         One simple strategy is to cre-
                                      ate wire mesh panels that can behow the Namib beetle’s hydro-
   Grand Rapids got over sev-         mounted in foggy areas.         phobic and hydrophilic shell
en inches of rain last month;                                         structures could be borrowed
                                         W he n moi st u re-lade n a i r
that’s five more inches than the      passes through the mesh, water  to make the mesh even more
Namib Desert accumulates all          droplets condense out of the    effective.
year.                                 air and are collected for human    He recently designed an
   With only two inches of annual     use.                            upgraded mesh with similar
rainfall, the desert’s inhabitants       In 2007, a German aid organi-water-attracting and water-
have adapted tricks for obtaining     zation installed mesh water col-repelling surfaces that chan-
fresh water.                                                          nel water toward a collection
                                      lectors in the tiny, impoverished
   Now, researchers are copying                                       gutter.
                                      Bellavista community in the hills
some of their coping mechanisms       surrounding Lima, Peru.            In a Guatemalan town, 150
as possible methods for harvest-                                      people are now testing 36 of
                                         Bellavista has little access to
ing water in impoverished and         running water, but its saturatedChhatre’s new nets.
thirsty areas.                        air is ripe for fog collection.    The fog nets in Guatemala
   The desert-dwelling Namib             T he fog condenses on t he   and Peru are timely installa-
beetle (Stenocara gracilipes) has     wire mesh, trickles down to the tions.
its own bag of water-col-                                                     As climate change al-
lecting tricks.                                                            ters or dries up snowpack
   Rather than wait long “The villagers collect so much water and glacial water sources,
mo nt h s for a s p r i n k le                                             thirsty mountainous com-
of rain, the beetle turns        that some can be routed to irrigate munities will be unable to
to the desert’s morning                                                    afford pricey water from
fog.                                  gardens and fruit trees.”            nearby cities.
   When the fog rolls in,                                                     Other regions whose
the beetle climbs a dune                                                   water sources are disap-
and angles its shell into the wind. bottom of the panel and runs pearing due to overuse or dam-
Tiny hydrophilic bumps on the through gutters into large storage ming will also find themselves
shell collect equally tiny water tanks.                               forking over significant money
droplets out of the foggy air.          These panels are surprisingly in exchange for this universal
   The droplets clump together efficient. Four 26-by-13-foot pan- commodity.
and run along water-repelling els can nab 126 gallons of water           Fog nets provide an alter-
g rooves towa rd t he beet le’s out of the air every 24 hours.        native for those communities
mouth.                                  The villagers collect so much that happen to be located in
   Another Namib resident, the water that some can be rout- particularly foggy regions.
fog-basking darkling beetle, uti- ed to irrigate gardens and fruit       Fog nets obviously wouldn’t
lizes similar microscopic chan- trees.                                work in every dry commun-
nels on its belly to route water        Sales from the rapidly grow- ity.
toward its mouth.                    ing fruit trees have boosted the    Like solar panels and wind
   This creature lifts its abdomen village’s economy, and the trees turbines, these implements
into the breeze and waits as the themselves also trap and contrib- are completely dependent on
foggy air condenses on its cool ute to the fog bank.                  regional weather.
body.                                   “These fog nets have improved    But they’re designed for wa-
   This strategy allows the insect our quality of life,” Bellavista ter storage, not just collection.
to drink 40 percent of its body resident Noe Neira Tocato told           The design allows villagers
weight in one sitting.               the BBC.                         to work around the capricious
   Inspired by the beetles’ in-         “We can grow vegetables for fog.
genuity, researchers have been our families and use all this             These low-impact panels are
creating their own fog-collecting moisture in the fog, which would not only gentle on the environ-                                                                     WikimediA commons
devices.                             otherwise be wasted, rather than ment; they’re also working                  Answers (clockwise from top left): Lobster, cockroach, jellyfish,
   Many of the human versions having to buy water.”                   wonders in the lives of the vil-
have replicated the dark ling           Shreerang Chhatre, an en- lagers who, for the first time,                 wood frog, orca whale, homo sapiens, fruit bat, mantis shrimp,
beetle’s ability to collect water gineer at MIT, saw how well can quench their thirst.                            platypus, albatross.
May 6, 2011                                                                               C him es                                                     Science & Technology      9

Natural disasters, waste spills and cool gadgets make up the year
Take a look back at the top 10 stories featured in Sci-Tech during the 2010-2011 school year
                                       an alumina plant in Hungary
         By Katie FaBer                flooded into several nearby towns
          Sci-tech editor              and later reached the Danube
   The 2010-2011 academic year             Ten people were killed, and of-
has been a memorable one for           ficials also worried about public
all of us.                             health and environmental im-
   For some it was the first year at   pact due to the now toxic water
Calvin; others, the last.              supply.
   Important things happened               Even six months after the in-
both here on campus and else-          cident, work is still being done to
where in the great wide world,         restore the area to normal.
and you may have read about it             Although the long-term dam-
over in A&E or Nat/World.              age is not expected to be bad, of-
   But what happened in the            ficials estimate that $500 million
world of science and technology        will need to be spent to complete
over this past year? If you are like   the clean-up process.
me, you can barely remember.               A s a protec t ive me a s u re,
You need a little help.                Hungarian inspectors have ex-
   What follows, then, will be of      amined 45 other sludge reservoirs
great help to you. Take a look at      in the country.
the Top Ten Sci-Tech stories of the        7. Long-term effects of the
past year, and remember what a         Gulf of Mexico spill                    such reprehensible research could       But the most lasting impact
memorable year it really was.              The U.S. also spent time this       have occurred under the guise of     of the New Zealand earth-
   10. United Nations Climate          past year recovering from the           public health.” So are we.           quake might have been, sadly,
Change Conference                      Gulf of Mexico oil spill that took         4. The iPad 2                     that we didn’t realize things
   After a few climate change          place from Apr. 20 to Jul. 15.             If last year taught us that we    could get any worse.
conferences in 2009 and 2010               Months later, the effects of the    can’t live without the iPad, then       1. Ear thquake/tsunami
produced what many considered          spill are still making headlines.       this year we learned that we can’t   in Japan and the Fukushima
to be abysmal results, no one ex-          Researchers watch for animal        live without the iPad 2.             Daiichi Nuclear Power Plant
pected much to come out of the         species to return to the area,             T he second generat ion of           I wish that the No. 1 event
Nov. 29 – Dec. 10 conference in        and fisheries are still waiting to      Apple’s amazing tablet was re-       in Sci-Tech this year could have
Mexico City.                           recover.                                leased on March 11 of this year,     been the discovery of a cure for
   But the conference ended af-            Many residents along the coast      and stores were already sold out     cancer or the elimination of
ter making what The New York           have started to complain of side        by March 12.                         world hunger, but that is not
Times called a “major step for-        effects, like coughing and head-           The iPad 2 boasted a number       the case.
ward” for international nego-          aches, which could be a result of       of new features, such as a video        After the 9.0 -magnitude
tiations: the delegates almost got     the chemicals used to clean up          camera and a smaller size.           earthquake in Japan on March
along.                                 the spill.                                 The question already on every-    11 and the tsunami that en-
   Conference members agreed to            Although the spill happened         one’s minds is now when the iPad     sued, all anyone in the sci-
set up a “Green Climate Fund”          one year ago, it might be another       3 will be released.                  entific world is going to re-
that would assist poorer countries     year before we can begin to say it         3. The space shuttle program’s    member about 2011 is the
in reducing their greenhouse           is behind us.                           end                                  near-meltdown of the Fuku-
emissions.                                 6. Cholera outbreak in Haiti           NASA’s space shuttles were        shima Daiichi Nuclear Power
   However, few experts felt the           The earthquake that ravaged         the image of the U.S. space pro-     Plant.
conference had done enough to          Haiti happened almost 17 months         gram for 30 years, and the past         After suffering major dam-
stop climate change. We can go         ago, but the important story in         few months have been their long      age from the tsunami, three
back to hoping that the next con-      health news this year was the           goodbye.                             reactors in the plant went
ference — set to be held in South      cholera outbreak that began in             Discovery concluded its final     into partial nuclear meltdown
Africa later this year — will be       October.                                mission on March 9 of this year,     when cooling fluid could not
more of a success.                         Over 250,000 cases of the dis-      and Atlantis is scheduled to fly     keep the reactors from over-
   9. United Nations Biodiversity      ease have been reported since,          for the last time in June.           heating.
Summit                                 and 4,600 people have died.                Space Shuttle Endeavour was          What followed were days
   Are all U.N. meetings as un-            The outbreak was the first to       scheduled to liftoff on its final    of Japanese and international
productive as the climate change       break out in Haiti in 50 years, and     mission last week, but a series of   officials trying countless dif-
conference? Thankfully not.            it lead to panic and accusations,       problems have pushed the date        ferent methods to get the reac-
   The biodiversity summit in          most famously when a relief team        of its take-off to May 10 at the     tors to cool.
October should be remembered           from Nepal was blamed for start-        soonest.                                A minor health scare was
because it actually went better        ing the epidemic.                          As the use of space shuttles      triggered as people around
than everyone expected it to.              The outbreak is still present,      winds down, astronauts could be      the world stocked up on anti-
   The most memorable outcome          but subsiding, in Haiti.                looking to commercial rockets to     radiation treatments in case a
of the summit was the promise to           5. Guatemalan syphilis study        carry them into space.               nuclear cloud passed over their
expand the size of nature reserves         A shadow from our past came            2. Ea r t hqua ke i n New         countries.
around the world, increasing           creeping into the light this year;      Zealand                                 Although the accident has
them to include 17 percent of the      in October it was revealed that,           The Feb. 22 earthquake in         been given seven, the highest
earth’s land and 10 percent of its     from 1946 to 1948, U.S. research-       Ch r istchurch, New Zealand          rating on the International
waters.                                ers had intentionally infected          was a wake-up call around the        Nuclear Event Scale, many
   The summit also put into play       G u atema la n pr isone r s w it h      world.                               experts believe the accident is
an actual plan for making sure its     syphilis in order to study the ef-         We didn’t expect earthquakes      still far from being as serious
goals were realized, something         fects of the disease when left un-      to do so much damage in places       as the nuclear meltdown in
that doesn’t usually happen when       treated.                                like New Zealand, where build-       Chernobyl.
lofty goals are set.                       Both Secretary of State Hillary     ings were structurally sound.           Experts believe it could be
   Maybe the only sad point to         Clinton and Secretary of Health            We didn’t expect the rescue ef-   decades before the accident in
come out of the biodiversit y          and Human Services Kathleen             forts to go on for as long as they   Fukushima is entirely cleaned
summit was that it had everyone        Sebelius issued a formal apol-          needed to.                           up.
hoping the climate change confer-      og y to t he people of Guate-              In what Prime Minister John          Those were the most memo-
ence the next month would be a         mala.                                   Key called New Zealand’s “dark-      rable Sci-Tech stories of 2010-
success — but that didn’t happen.          In it they stated that, “Although   est day,” 181 people were killed     2011.
   8. Sludge spill in Hungary          these events occurred more than         and the country suffered $12 bil-       What will next year bring?
   On Oct. 4, red mud wastes from      64 years ago, we are outraged that      lion in damages.                     Only time will tell.

                                                                                                                                                                  WiKimedia CommonS
Notable news events in science and technology this year include the sludge spill in Hungary, the release of the iPad2, the retirement of NASA’s Space Shuttle
program and the earthquake and tsunami in Japan that led to the partial meltdown of three nuclear reactors at the Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Plant.
10   Senior Farewell                                                                     C him es                                                                              May 6, 2011

Chimes seniors reminisce about their college years
                                      of renewing the vocations of their    commuter, many things were
        by AndreA bAAs                elected wordage.                      difficult for me to attend because
              staff Writer               2. Weather dangers: this past      I wanted and needed time to             Jon Behm’s top five Chimes memories
                                      year was record-break ing in          eat with my spouse, and I was
    As you might guess (this com-     Calvin history as we FINALLY          chastised for being either late or         1. Playing ping-pong with Stephen Mulder and assorted mem-
ing from a senior and all), I am      got a snow day. As a five-year        anti-communal.                          bers of the editorial staff on the copy editing table, even when
writing this on few hours of          commuter at this lovely institu-         Top few                              people were in the midst of copy editing.
sleep, emotional exhaustion and       tion, I have often risked my life        4. Awesome classes and pro-             2. Bowling against Stephen Mulder and Joel Meredith when
underneath a large pile of final      driving from sometimes distant        fessors: what would college be          we all took the bowling class during interim 2010.
things-to-do-before-I-graduate,       places in order to come to class      without them? Not a college at             3. Getting the opportunity to cover our national champion-
silently cursing myself for having    in the middle of terrible visibility  all. But honestly, I have had great     ship-winning volleyball team.
two majors and five years of col-     and slick roads.                      professors in the English, mu-             4.Reading a drunken rant written by former staff writer Paul
lege experience (and debt) behind        1. The bogus part of “inten-       sic, philosophy and religion de-        Menn in which he expounded upon the relative merits (or in his
me. Though right                                                                      partments. They made          mind, lackthereof) of vegetarians and vegans.
now I a m ve r y                                                                      bizar re classes inter-          5.Pulling a crazy all-nighter on May 4 (which included down-
tired and frankly                                                                     esting, engaging and          ing five energy drinks to keep myself going) to help give you folks
sick of classes, pa-                                                                  important. My life as a       this monstrous beast of a paper. You’d better enjoy it.
pers and grades, I                                                                    liberal arts graduate is
should admit hap-                                                                     more rich and full be-
pily that college                                                                     cause of professors and       Amy Surbatovich’s top five music choices
has been a good                                                                       their nerdy academic
experience. It has,                                                                   interests. Thank you!          to play past 2 a.m. in the Chimes office
of course, present-                                                                      3. Extra-curriculars
ed many challeng-                                                                     in which I have been in-         1. Anything from “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog” or the
es. Swiftly near-                                                                     volved: Chimes, Capella       accompanying “Commentary! The Musical”
ing the end of my                                                                     and the Calvin Theatre           2. Anything auto-tuned by the Gregory Brothers (currently
undergrad studies                                                                     Company. My freshman          on a “Winning” kick, but the original Auto-Tune the News is
and encroaching                                                                       year I joined Capella         also pretty hard to beat).
upon graduation,                                                                      and the Calvin Theatre           3. Anything by Simon and Garfunkel or the Beatles, but par-
I find myself remi-                                                                   Company. I was very           ticularly “Cecelia” or “Help.”
niscing, looking                                                                      involved in singing and          4. Some good classical music has to make it into the mix
back and tr ying                                                                      acting in high school,        somehow; Mozart, Beethoven, and various choral songs are
to sum up some                                                                        and I found friends and       solid choices.
thoughts with                                                                         com mu n it y i n t hese         5. Any really crazy Europop; pretty much any Eurovision song
which I would like                                                                    groups. I met my best         with a catchy beat makes a good Wednesday night Chimes song.
to leave you as I…                                                                    friend backstage in the
leave you. Hmm.                                                                       theatre company’s pro-
So here, at the end                                                                   duction of “Sense and
of my college and                                                                     Sensibility,” and I met                                            course it wasn’t easy. I tried to
Chimes career, are                                                                    my husband in Capella.             by Griffin JAckson              do the maneuver with him and
my top and bot-                                                                       Junior year (that was                 Managing editor              ended up smashing my face into
tom few experi-                                                                       two years ago for me),                                             the ground. The girls in my group
ences during my                                                                       I was introduced to the           Four years is a long time.       thought I had “dislocated my
time at Calvin.                                                                       wonders and joys of be-       Really, it is. If I live to be 80,   head,” and the guys thought the
    Bottom few                                                                        ing involved in writing       the four years I spent at Calvin     left side of my face resembled a
    4 . “ $1 Bu c k                                                                   and editing for Chimes.       will add up to 5 percent of my       boxer’s—a very bad boxer.
Fridays”: please,                                                                     You may think this is         life.                                   That was a bad day.
please choose                                                                         a shameless plug, but             Five percent may not sound          You know what else was bad?
wh ic h o ne yo u                                                                     I have had a lot of fun       like much, but, again, it is,        How about the last two weeks?
wa nt to ca l l it.                                                                   and made close friends        especially when you consider            The mounting of papers, tests,
I s it “one - buc k                                                                   through this organiza-        that I was barely conscious of       readings-that-I-should-do-but-
Fridays” or “dol-                                                                     tion. The slight sadness      the first five years of my life      probably-won’t, g rad school
l a r-Fr id ays” or                                                                   of this last issue is sink-   and will probably be pretty          preparations, loans, summer job
“one-buck-Fri-                                                                        ing in.                       out-of-it for the last five. Also,   things, family “issues”, group
days”? Make up                                                                           2. Community that          it’s this five percent phase of      meetings, Chimes, the Redwings
you r m i nd, be -                                                                    was unexpec ted: i n          my life that is supposed to be       in the playoffs, getting sick, want-
cause otherwise                                        Photo courtesy of AndreA bAAs
                                                                                      classes and organiza-         one of the most formative of         ing-to-see-friends-before-they-all-
I will continue to                                                                    tions I made friends, of      my life. So, it’s a big deal, the    leave-forever, needing to get sleep:
mock it by call- Head copy editor Andrea Baas looks sweet, but she’s course. But sometimes                          last four years.                     it adds up.
ing it “one-dollar- dangerous when she wields a racket or a red pen.                  people come into your             Fortunately, The Calvin             You know what I mean. You’ve
buck-Fridays”                                                                         life when you don’t ex-       Phase was great.                     been there before and will be
with a smirk of my lips and a tional community”: as I have pect them to. When I lost a family                           I could list for you all of      there again.
shake of my head.                   confessed earlier, I have been a member, people from the Calvin                 the cliché things that made             And it’s nothing to complain
    3. Calvin jargon: honestly, it commuter for all of my five years and Grand Rapids community                     my time at Calvin so great:          about. It just is.
only bothers me a little bit, but at Calvin. And unless you have came and surrounded my family                      the friendships, the profes-            My time at Calvin was book-
the fact that we get key words over an extremely liberal schedule, with love, support and prayer.                   sors, the classes, the dorm life,    ended with rough patches, with
and over and over and over and… live close to campus and a lot of The body of Christ was a beauti-                  the hanging out, the spiritual       a few off-days scattered through-
anyway; words like “discern- money for gas, building authen- ful thing to experience.                               growth, the “finding myself”,        out. But know that, looking back,
ment,” “worldview,” “intentional tic, “intentional” community                  1. Finding my “vocation”: I          the studying abroad, the spring      nearly all of the rough patch-
community,” “creation-fall-re- with people who live on campus won’t get all Calvin-sappy on                         breaks, the Chimes. And, to          es turned out for good. I met
demption,” “agents of renewal” is extremely difficult, especially you. But because of the classes                   be honest, as cliché as all of       so many funny, caring people
and “vocation” are all gold, and for relational introverted com- I took, the professors who men-                    those things are, they are also      through the embarrassing mo-
they’re good things, they mean muters like me. Plus, a few extra- tored me, the friends who cared                   all true.                            ments. I had so many good chats
a lot about our conviction as curricular activities and organi- for me and the spouse and fam-                          However, instead of sharing      and several “eurekas” in all of
Christians at an academic institu- zations require attendance at 6 ily who supported me, I kinda                    all of those things that made        those late nights. The closed
tion. But when they’re used so fre- p.m. This does not exactly look know what I want to do with my                  my college career so typically       doors, the risks that didn’t pay off,
quently that their meaning rubs like “intentional community” time, mind and energy in my life.                      wonderful, I would like to           the “oopse” days, the “sit down
off, maybe it’s time to let them extended to people who have a And graduation, though it is, in                     describe a few of the bad days       and shut up” times and all those
rest a little. So maybe Calvin can different life situation than other reality, an end, there’s a reason it’s       that God used for good, and          Michigan winters turned into
discern an intentional worldview students on campus. As a married called “commencement.”                            that made my time here un-           opportunities, knowledge, green
                                                                                                                    forgettable.                         lights and Michigan springs (usu-
                                                                                                                        I remember in the last days      ally). But most of the time, the
                                                                                                                    before coming to Calvin as a         landmarks and evolutions only
                                                                                                                    freshman, I was a bit anxious.       became clear in hindsight.
                                                                                                                    I wanted to find friends and            So, I say, take your time. Don’t
                                                                                                                    adjust to my classes, the same       worry and don’t stress. Honestly,
                                                                                                                    as every other student. And,         don’t. Laugh about stupid things.
                                                                                                                    being the then-unconfident           Watch some YouTube videos. Go
                                                                                                                    18 year-old punk that I was, I       downtown. Do some work and
                                                                                                                    distinctly remember thinking,        get some sleep.
                                                                                                                    “God, please don’t let anything         Wow, this turned into a coun-
                                                                                                                    embarrassing happen to me.”          try song really fast. Sorry about
                                                                                                                        Naturally, God would have        that.
                                                                                                                    none of that. My second day             Still, looking back, 95 percent
                                                                                                                    at Calvin, when I was work-          of my time at Calvin was smooth
                                                                                                                    ing Streetfest, my Quest leader      and fun and stress-free. That
                                                                                                                    asked me to do some sort of          other five percent however — the
                                                                                                                    two-person cartwheel-f lip-          hard and stressful and embarrass-
                                                                                                                    spin-Air-Mobius-ollie-whatev-        ing times — proved to be among
                                                                                                                    er. Don’t ask me; I don’t know.      the most important. Now, look-
                                                                                                                    I couldn’t say no. My whole          ing back at the five percent of the
                                                                                                                    Quest group was watching.            five percent, I begin to see how
                                                                                                                    But, I can barely do a sum-          significant that 0.25 percent of
                                                                                                                    mersault; how could I say yes?       my life has been. So, roll with it.
                                                                                                                        I stepped to the front of the    Deal with it. Go with it.
                                                                                                                    crowd and he gave me direc-             Good gracious: I should write
                                                                                                                    tions. “It’s easy,” he said. Of      lyrics.
                          A rt s
            E n t E rtA i n m E n t
                                                                                        “    There was a seventh penguin that I was really fond of. His name was
                                                                                             Hammy and he was really over the top, but he got cut out because, with            11

                                                                                             me in the film, that would be redundant.
                                                                                                                                   -Jim Carey, “Popper’s Penguin” p. 13

Chimes editors share their favorite five media events of the year
   1. The Weepies: The Weepies’ album “Be My Thrill” came out just as we began                     1. T h e R o y a l
this school year, but it remains one of the most-played albums on my iPod. Their              Wedding: There is
bouncy beats and clever, heartfelt lyrics keep me singing along and draw me back              no doubt about it:
time and time again. And, their concert in the CFAC this year was the cutest, most            the royal wedding
joyful thing to hit Calvin in years.                                                          last week Friday was
   2.“Her Fearful Symmetry” by Audrey Niffenegger: Okay, not many of us, myself               the most entertain-
included, have time to read for fun during the school year, but I polished this novel off     ing thing that I saw
over Christmas break in about two days. Niffenegger (“The Time Traveler’s Wife”)              all year. It was about
has again spiced up reality with a fanciful plot and created lovable and mysterious           the dress, the venue,
characters and relationships. Her prose is not difficult and the story kept my interest       the music, but it was
the whole time — a perfect beach read!                                                        also about the small
   3.“Rabbit Hole”: I’m not one to cry in movies, but Nicole Kidman and Aaron                 things, like Prince
Eckhart had tears running down my face in this touching film about the loss of a              Harry realizing that
child. It’s been reviewed and recommended in Chimes already this year, but I can’t            he was st i l l hold-
make a top five list without reiterating how good this film is. It’s heart wrenching, it’s    ing a program as he
raw, and it’s one of the most realistically hopeful films I’ve seen in years. Wait for a      walked on stage and
rainy summer afternoon to watch “Rabbit Hole,” and don’t forget a tissue.                     then shoving it into
   4.“Welcome to the Rileys”: Despite her contributions to the ever-popular                   a ra ndom g ue s t ’s
“Twilight” series (which has gotten better as it goes on, trust me), I am a die-hard          hands. I have never
Kristen Stewart fan. I’ll watch anything she’s in, and “Welcome to the Rileys” was            had so much fun that
no exception. This film didn’t get a lot of press, but I wish it had. The plot was one of     early in the morning dressing up, eating scones and watching hours of commer-
the most original I’ve seen in a while,                                                       cial-free coverage. Of all the things that happened in Arts and Entertainment
and Stewart, James Gandolfini and                                                             over the past year, the royal wedding will be what I remember the longest. You
Melissa Leo (Oscar-winner for “The                                                            know it’s true for you, too.
Fighter”) expertly portrayed compli-                                                              2. “The King’s Speech”: I couldn’t think of a nifty transition for this one,
cated characters.                                                                             but it needs no transition. The King’s Speech was an amazing movie, and I
   5. “Water for Elephants”: Take this                                                        can prove that to you by saying that I went to it three times in the theater,
with a grain of salt — I haven’t seen                                                         and all three of those times I paid full price. Watching the movie win four
“Water for Elephants” yet (it’ll have to                                                      Oscars, including Best Picture and Best Actor (Colin Firth), only solidified
wait until I’m back stateside), but the                                                       the love I have for this movie about two friends, one of whom stutters — who
novel it’s based on is excellent and I have                                                   also happens to be George VI. If only he had still been around to watch…
high hopes for the film. You may scoff                                                            3. Michael Scott says goodbye: There have been great episodes of “The
at the inclusion of the other “Twilight”                                                      Office,” but the real magic of the show comes from the small moments that
star Robert Pattinson, but I think the                                                        have built over the last seven years. That’s why it was all the more painful to
man deserves a chance. His career has                                                         watch last week when Dwight and Michael finally played paintball, or when
been defined by “Harry Potter” and                                                            Michael took off his microphone and walked away into the airport. I’m afraid
“Twilight” — I’m anxious to see what                                                          my favorite TV show will never be the same.
he does with a legitimate and serious                                                              4. Casey Abrams: Say what you want about the Seth Rogan looka-
role, and whether he can create chem-                                                         like with the growly voice, I fell for Casey from the moment he played his
istry with co-star Reese Witherspoon.                                                         melodica during his American Idol audition, and I loved him through
So blot all memory of sparkling skin                                                          Hollywood week and all the way until he was eliminated last week. I’ll miss
from your memory and go see “Water                                                            you, Casey. The week when you were saved from elimination, and Ryan
for Elephants.” Don’t tell me how it                                                          Seacrest had to hold you up to keep you from collapsing onto the floor, was
is, though!                                                                                   one of the greatest moments in television history. But nothing comes close to…
                                                                                                 5. The Warblers join Glee: I don’t know about the rest of you, but I
                                                                                              had a hard time jumping on the Glee bandwagon during season one. But
   1. My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy: Nobody                                               something was different this year, and I know exactly what it is: an a cap-
in hip-hop rhymes harder than Kanye West, whose                                               pella group of guys in navy blazers with red piping, singing “Teenage
latest record is the most bumping, witty, funny and                                           Dream” and “Somewhere On ly We K now.” Speak ing of singing…
psychological yet. You hate to love it, but he makes
you turn the radio up.
   2. M ichael Hen r y a nd Just i n Robi net t:                                                1. “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1”: What can I say, I’m a
Generally, I don’t like covers; if it ain’t broke, don’t                                     total nerd. I was pretty much looking forward to this film for four months, and
fix it. YouTube duo sensation, Henry and Robinett,                                           I’m already looking forward to Part 2.
however, have achieved what no other cover artists                                              2.“The Social Network”: This was not only an incredibly entertaining film
could; they’ve made Avril Lavigne and John Mayer                                             to watch, but I also thought it was one of the best-made films I’ve seen in a very
sound catchy, classy and less-than-trashy. Check                                             long time. I’m still a little disappointed it didn’t win Best Picture.
them out.                                                                                       3. “Tangled”: What can I say, I’m a complete sap. I felt like a little kid watch-
   3. Human Planet:. None of the “Planet Earth”                                              ing this film and it was so much fun that I refuse to be ashamed about loving it.
imitations have lived up to their hype … until                                                  4.“Black Swan”: Wowzers. This was a crazy, terrifying and rather unsettling
“Human Planet”. Beautiful shots and captivating                                              film, but something about the ending was kind of mind-blowing. Obviously,
stories make this documentary a must see.                                                    Natalie Portman is pretty much the
   4. “At Home” by Bill Bryson: The most brilliant,                                          ruler of acting, but I actually found
entertaining and articulate travel writer of our time                                        that I enjoyed the film (when I wasn’t
is able to make the blandest topics hilarious and                                            busy screaming like a small child).
fascinating. “At Home” turns the commonplace                                                    5.The Les Miserables 25th anni-
into the exceptional and makes readers reconsider                                            versary concert: I’ve always loved this
the artificial worlds we have built for ourselves and                                        musical, but I especially loved the cast
take for granted.                                                                            for the 25th anniversary concert. My
   5. AutoTune the News: The AutoTune team                                                   absolute favorite was Samantha Barks
continues their success, moving with catchy, toe-                                            as Eponine, and I try not to mention
tapping wit from old-school classics like “Whistle                                           that Nick Jonas was technically in it.
Tips” and “Leprechauns” to viral hits like “Smoking                                          He wasn’t even bad, which is weird.
Lettuce” and “Bed Intruder.” They can do no
                                                                                                 1. Kinect: When I got this for Christmas, I expected it to be good. What I
                                                                                             did not expect was for it to be fantastic and addictive. Microsoft is advancing
                                                                                             the video game industry quickly, and other companies better take notice or risk
   1. “Dead Space 2”: The much anticipated sequel to the                                     being left behind.
original “Dead Space” gave hours of agonizingly horrific                                         2. Nintendo 3DS: So haven’t actually played it. I demoed it for roughly five
entertainment. Nothing beats going home for Christmas                                        minutes once, though, and that was enough to convince me that it is the future
break and watching your high school friends scream like                                      of handheld games.
they are the cast of “Little People, Big World” lost in the                                      3. Undisputed: How to Become the World Champion in 1,372 Easy Steps: I
middle of the final, nail-biting blitz of the Super Bowl, then                               bet there are less than 10
weeping yourself as you scrape through the well-crafted                                      people reading this who
storyline and graphics of Visceral Games’ 2011 masterpiece.                                  have heard of this. Well,
   2. “Rango”: An animated, pseudo-libertarian version of                                    it’s a book. It’s a book
the classic “Chinatown” that not only included the dangers                                   by Chris Jericho. It’s a
of poor environmental stewardship but also the issues of                                     memoir. It’s fantastic. It
enslaving innocent creatures was exactly what I was looking                                  is something you should
for over my Christmas break. Instant classic.                                                read. Now.
   3. “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1”:                                             4. Tosh.0: . Is this
Nothing warms my heart more than watching Harry Potter                                       new? No. Did the for-
dance to old radio music in a tent with Hermione Granger                                     mat change or some-
on the big screen while concurrently adding Rupert Grint’s                                   thing? No. Is this show
name to the small but growing list of exceptional Gingers                                    funny? Yes. Is it border-
in the world.                                                                                line offensive? You bet.
   4. “Scott Pilgrim vs. The World”: Especially if you                                       Do I love it? Woo Woo
were fortunate enough to catch all of the specific video game                                Woo, you know it.
references in this film, “Scott Pilgrim vs. The World” did an                                    5. S c o t t P i l g r i m
excellent job of capturing the college-age plight for shallow                                vs. The World: This
but satisfying love in a humorous and mildly ironic fashion.                                 movie could have been
   5. “TRON: Legacy”: This incredible soundtrack                                             a complete and terrible
by Daft Punk made me want to throw away every item I have that was made                      f lop. They took some
before the new millennium and start exploring the virtual frontier.                          risks, and the risks were
                                                                                             worth it.
12 A & E                                                                                 C him es                                                                            May 6, 2011

More editors and writers share their top five favorite media events of the year
     1. The Bach Collegium Japan: This group gave an exemplary performance of Bach’s entire Mass in B Minor in March. This
  was the concert highlight of the year, no contest.
     2. Van Dyke Parks’ concert at the Ladies Literary Club: In September, Van Dyke Parks came and delivered one of the best
  non-classical concerts I have seen. Parks has recorded songs about J. Edgar Hoover, life in California and donkeys. He also
  happened to compose many of the songs in “The Brave Little Toaster.” His fluid fingers made the Steinway at the LLC sing.
     3. Music professor Hyesook Kim: This artist performed selections from Messaien’s very difficult “Vingt regards sur l’enfant-
  Jésus” as part of the Faculty and Guest Series in November. I have always enjoyed my recording of the work but can barely
  believe it is humanly possible to play live.
     4. Radiohead’s “The King of Limbs”: I reviewed this album earlier this year, and was initially less than impressed with the
  drop-C tunings and sparse arrangements. However, it has grown on me, especially its single “Lotus Flower.”
     5. “The Social Network”: It managed not to make me groan during its computer scenes. In fact, it deserves a complement
  for showing Zuckerberg and friends using a version of KDE, a Linux desktop environment, that matched the time setting of
  the movie.

                                            1. “ B o r e d t o D e a t h”: J a s o n            1. The Festival of Faith and Music: The Festival
                                        Schwartzman stars as a failing novelist              brought a phenomenal series of bands to Calvin’s
                                        who moonlights as an unlicensed private              campus. While I would like to pick out one specific
                                        detective in this HBO show created by                concert, it is impossible to decide which artist was
                                        Jonathan Ames. Working alongside Zach                the best of the five. Matisyahu and Trevor Hall,
                                        Galifinakis and Ted Danson, the situations           My Brightest Diamond, The Civil Wars and Jon
                                        and friendships displayed in this show are           Foreman are all so different that I can’t even pick
                                        both thoroughly entertaining and hilari-             which concert was the most unique, or which artist
                                        ous.                                                 was most genuine.
                                            2. “Richard Yates,” written by Tao                  2. Sufjan Steven’s consecutive releases of the
                                        Lin: This is one of the best novels released         EP “All Delighted People” and the LP “Age of
                                        this year. Filled with cultural references           Adz”: His latest brought an entirely new sound to
                                        of all sort, realistic dialogue, angst and           the indie rocker’s repertoire. The electronics were
                                        momentary happiness, this novel displays             tastefully blended into the overall sound, without
                                        more than just a messed-up relationship.             losing the lyrical importance of each track. Both
                                        Written in his quintessential new-age/               albums I do, and will continue to, listen to long
                                        almost blog style, Lin’s sophomore novel             after their releases.
                                        was so good I could just eat it up … or just            3. “The King’s Speech”: This movie was by far
                                        re-read it many times.                               one of the best movies I saw all year. Not only was
                                            3. Lia Ices’ “Grown Unknown” and                 the cast brilliantly selected, but their acting was
  Wye Oak’s “Civilian”: This is a tie for my favorite CD released this year.                 phenomenal. Driven by dialogue and not by the action scenes that typically dominate
  Both are catchy and unique compared to most bands currently circulating                    popular movies, this movie was phenomenally filmed and riveting all the way though.
  throughout the music world. Instead of explaining the sounds these two bands               I will definitely be purchasing it when it is released on DVD.
  conjure, you should just go check them out if you are looking for something                   4. Ellie Goulding’s “Bright Lights”: This fabulous album is a marvelous mix of
  one- of-a-kind, filled with emotion and thoroughly catchy.                                 power vocals and electro-pop tunes. I have been addicted since the first track I lis-
     4. “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1”: I am a huge Harry                     tened to. While not very popular yet in the United States, Ellie is exploding overseas,
  Potter fan, so all things pertaining to the subject are of interest to me. However,        and it is worth a few minutes of your time — exactly what she needs to pull you in.
  I enjoyed this movie because it not only lived up to its long-anticipated great-              5. Rogue Wave’s fall concert: Held at the Ladies Literary Club performance, is
  ness, but also because it was cinematically pleasing to me.                                not one that will be quickly erased from my memory. While every artist who stands
     5. “Blue Valentine:” This movie that struck me on all kinds of levels. Sad,             on a Calvin College stage is known for an ability to both be musical and to deliver an
  thought-provoking and entertaining, this beautiful movie left me crying (which             enthralling performance, Rouge Wave exceeded my expectations by far. Their stage
  is quite a feat).                                                                          presence and overall musical ability really made me want to buy their album — so I
                                                                                             suggest that you go out and do just that!

     1. The Krunchies: This group started selling their newest self-titled
  7-inch single earlier this year, and still I have yet to pick my jaw off the                                                             1. Trevor
  floor. This is one of the best examples of a punk rock band that will                                                                Hall: No
  never be heard on commercial rock ‘n’ roll radio, not only due to the in-                                                            of fense to
  your-face dueling male/female vocals but also the riddling shockwaves                                                                Matisyahu,
  of guitars. This small, three-piece band runs the back streets of Chicago                                                            but I lef t
  with angst by releasing this auditory electric shock of a record. This                                                               h i s p e r fo r-
  is what punk used to be, so if you’re a lover of classic punk, this is one                                                           mance at
  band you don’t want to starve your ears from.                                                                                        the Festival
     2. Diarrhea Planet: This group released an album so fierce that you                                                               of Faith and
  have to just soak it in with your mouth agape – letting the tracks sift                                                              Music more
  through your brain while you manage only a single thought: This band                                                                 impressed
  is out to destroy the world. With their newest 7-inch single “ALOHA!”                                                                by h is g u i-
  released this April they brought veritable aural stabbing with their lo-fi                                                           t a r pl aye r,
  speedy tempos. I can’t really put my finger on who they sound like but                                                               who also
  they have a spark to them that I can’t seem to get enough of.                                                                        happens to
     3. Radiator Hospital: The group released their first ever 7-inch this                                                             have a fairly
  April. Naming it after X-Files “I Want to Believe,” this local band is                                                               successful
  nothing but out of this world. They have a sound that is like lo-fi garage                                                           solo career.
  band with some meat and bones that hits you hard and fast, but in a                                                                  Trevor Hall
  superbly upbeat way. Listening to it is like bashing your head into the                                                              is a musician
  wall, but without the pain. The jangle of the guitar will be ringing in your head for hours after hearing it.                        of such ener-
     4. Le Burchrettes: They released its newest album titled “Sin Sin Sin.” If listening to good music is an immoral act then         gy, creativity
  this album deserved its name, for it is anomalously good. The vocals will cut through your soul and rip it apart without             and raw passion that I can’t help but lose my-
  you even realizing it. Unlike their other release “Sin Sin Sin” is not only hard and mean, but elegant, sensual and dark.            self in his music. He’s got a sound like nothing
     5. The Mangled Dead: This band sounds like they are actively trying to piss you off with their new release, “You,                 I’ve ever heard before, which earns him the
  Too, Will Die!” The guitar reminds me of a bratty child scribbling on the walls with a crayon, and the drums are like                number one spot in my Top 5 for this year.
  silverware falling off the table. It’s hard. It’s violent. It’s loud. It is a must have. Just be careful, for it’s likely to leave       2. “Scott Pilgrim vs. The World”: What
  scorch marks on even the most durable of speakers.                                                                                   can I say about Michael Cera except that he’s
                                                                                                                                       fantastic in nearly everything he does (minus
                                                                                                                                       “Nick and Nora,” but we’ll pretend that never
                                                   1. Best Concert of the Year: The Decemberists:                                      happened). “Scott Pilgrim vs. The World” is
     1.“Inception”: It told a totally new       The Decemberists are one for many good reasons.
  kind of story.                                                                                                                       one part hilarious, one part witty and one part
                                                First off, they play a great live show, unlike The                                     beautiful work of digital art. Please, for your
     2.“Tr u e G r it”:It wa s a n a f-         Black Eyed Peas. Second, they came back out for
  fectionate retelling of an old one.                                                                                                  health and well-being, see this film.
                                                two encores, which is just awesome. And third,                                             3. “Easy Wonderful”: Guster always has
    3.“The Ghost Writer”: Polanski              my friend standing right next to me caught Colin
  channeled Hitchcock.                                                                                                                 been and always will be my “summer music,”
                                                Meloy’s guitar pick when he threw it to the crowd.                                     and the quartet from Boston has delivered
     4.“The Social Network”: This               That could have been me…
  movie m ade an engrossing story                                                                                                      some fantastic summer tunes once again
                                                   2. Best Movie of the Year: “The King’s                                              (even though the album came out in October).
  out of a                                      Speech”: Just kidding. Personally, I really enjoyed
  seemingly                                                                                                                            “Easy Wonderful” is Guster at its best since
                                                “Love and Other Drugs,” and not because of all                                         “Keep It Together,” and I highly recommend
  impossible                                    the nudity, but because of the chemistry between
  source.                                                                                                                              it for any and all of your musical needs.
                                                Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway. Together                                            4. “Black Swan”: As a long-time fan of Darren
     5.“The                                     they created a truly realistic situation of how love perseveres through difficult
  King’s                                                                                                                               Aronofsky I may be a little biased, but in my
                                                situations.                                                                            opinion this was one of the finest films of the
  Speech”:                                         3. Best Album of the Year: “LOVE” by Angels and Airwaves: This third
  was a mas-                                                                                                                           year, and Natalie Portman definitely deserved
                                                studio album was epic because it wasn’t only an album, but also the soundtrack         her Oscar. If you missed “Black Swan” when
  terpiece of                                   to a science fiction movie of the same name that was produced by the band.
  acting and                                                                                                                           it came out, you now have weekend plans.
                                                The album is done in a progressive rock style with unpredictable instrumentals.        5. “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows:
  character                                        4. Best Book of the Year: “The Pale King” by David Foster Wallace: The
  develop-                                                                                                                             Part 1”: The penultimate Harry Potter film
                                                novel is unfinished due to the untimely death of the author, but its open-endedness    was definitely the best of the bunch so far. And
  ment.                                         is part of the appeal to the reader. This is an interesting novel critiquing the       based on the hype built up around this film, I
                                                power the individual gains through work in society.                                    imagine the final film in the series will draw
                                                   5. Best New T.V. Show of the Year: “Cash Cab: Chicago”: Admittedly, this            a larger crowd than the Quidditch World Cup
                                                is completely fueled by personal choice, but I would like to inform the public of      when it comes out later this year.
                                                the new “Cash Cab: Chicago.” Now, your random knowledge fame awaits only
                                                a mere four-hour drive away. Anyone else up for some cab hopping?
May 6, 2011                                                                              C him es                                                                                A & E 13

Carrey’s lastest: funny and filled with penguins                                                                    ‘Fast and Furious’ sequel showing
                                      dard performance a la “Liar            everything is kind of planned                                                 Thus, they assemble an epic
         By Eric ThayEr               Liar” or “Yes Man,” but it’s the       out,” Waters said. “But you lose            By MadElinE Tracy              team of past characters, including
           Staff Writer               penguins to watch out for. Even        the indefinable thing that is ador-              Staff Writer              Han (Sung Kang), Gisele (Gal
                                      though Jim Carrey is one of the        able about penguins. I wanted                                              Gadot), Roman (Tyrese Gibson),
    Hollywood absolutely loves        biggest stars in Hollywood, it’s his   to go the other way — let’s do            One would assume that it         Tej (Ludacris), and Vince (Matt
taking literary classics and turn-    penguin co-stars that are causing      everything we can with live pen-       is safe to say that if a movie      Schulze) to pull a giant heist.
ing them into f ilms. “Har r y        most of the buzz around this film.     guins and then challenge the           franchise makes it to five films,      The movie was directed by
Pot ter,” “Percy Jackson and          Director Mark Waters originally        visual effects artists when we are     it must be pretty popular. But      Justin Lin and written by Chris
the Olympians”                                                                                 doing CGI stuff      with that, there is also the        Morgan, who worked together
and “The Golden                                                                                to capture that      chance that all the subsequent      doing the same jobs for the third
Compa ss” a re                                                                                 essence, make        sequels, prequels and spinoffs      and fourth movies, so “Fast Five”
among the many                                                                                 them match the       wont live up to the quality of      matched the style of those more
adaptat ions of                                                                                reality.”            the first.                          than the others.
children’s books                                                                                  Carrey, who’s        These two facts should be           However, a fair warning, out
that have hit the                                                                              a veteran at         kept in mind if you happen          of all the movies of the series,
silver screen in the                                                                           work i n g w it h    to choose to see “Fast Five”        this one had the least cars, rac-
last few years, and                                                                            animals because      (aka the fifth “Fast and the        ing, and hot girls. At one point
another childhood                                                                              of his multiple      Furious”) at any point in your      Dominic races someone to win a
classic is about to                                                                            A c e Ve n t u r a   life.                               new car and the movie completely
join them.                                                                                     roles, also talk-        This particular entry in        passes over the race straight to
    “Mr. Popper’s                                                                              ed with the LA       the “Fast and the Furious”          the end. Personally, I think this
Penguins,” star-                                                                               Times.               series was good in the way          is because they want the audience
ring Jim Carrey, is                                                                               “The differ-      that it brought back characters     to start taking the franchise more
set to be released                                                                             ences between        from all the previous movies        seriously, instead of expecting
in June. The film                                                                              pe ng u i n s a nd   to make a fantastic cast. The       simply cars racing each other for
is based on t he                                                                               ot her animals       three main characters, Brian        two hours.
Newbery Award-                                                                                 I have worked        O›Con nor ( Pau l Wa l ker),           In that sense, this movie is bet-
w i n n i ng novel                                                                             with are mostly      Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel)        ter than the others simply because
by R ichard and                                                                                political. Due       and Mia Toret to (Jordana           it actually has a plot, and one
Florence Atwater,                                                                              to the penguins’     Brewster) all come back as a        that is slightly believable for that
which was origi-                                                                               communal na-         tight family working to return      matter. The whole movie is based
nally published in                                                                             ture, they tend      to normalcy while being on          around a heist and the characters’
1938. The plot of                                                                              to lea n to t he     the run.                            relationship, instead of just cool
the film, though                                                                               left. There was          They find themselves hiding     cars. This is both a good thing
updated a bit for                                                                              a seventh pen-       out in Rio De Janeiro with the      and slightly disappointing and
a moder n audi-                                                                                guin that I was      aid of friends both old and new.    unexpected.
ence, is basically                                                                             really fond of.      However, luck begins to run            Overall, I do think this is a
the same as the                                                                                His name was         out when they hit some prob-        movie worth seeing, especially if
novel (and basi-                                                                               Hammy and he         lems and begin to be pursued        you have seen the first four; it is
c a l ly t he s a me                                                                           was really over      by ruthless American special        worth not giving up on the series,
a s mos t of Ji m                                                                              the top, but he      agent Hobbs (Dwayne «The            at least thus far.
Carrey’s movies).                                                                              got cut out be-      Rock» Johnson). It is decided          Another warning: stay in the
Jim Carrey is Tom                                                                              cause, with me       that the only way they will be      theater after the credits and you
Popper, a busi-                                                                                in the film, that    able to continue running is if      will be rewarded with an extra
nessman without                                                                                would be redun-      they have money, which can          scene. This scene completely sets
a clue as to what’s                                                                            dant.” Always        be found from Reyes (Joaquim        up for a sixth movie, so for those
truly important in                                                                             good for a           de Almeida), the drug lord who      of you who thought this was the
life, who suddenly                                                                             laug h, Car rey      rules Rio with an iron fist.        last installment, it’s not.
inherits six pen-                                                                              recently tweet-
guins and turns                                                                     filE phoTo
                                                                                               ed “Penguins r
his apartment into                                                                             untrainable, so
a winter wonderland to make the       wanted to make the penguins            in my new film ‘Mr. Poppers
little guys feel more at home. But    entirely CGI, but event ually          Penguins’ we used weiner dogs
as the penguins begin to take         decided to go with the real thing.     in penguin suits. Sorry, that was a
over his life, his career begins to   He talked about this choice in an      lie.” More likely than not, he’ll be
fall apart.                           interview with the LA Times.           good for another laugh or two in
    We’re safe to assume that Jim        “I thought there was a way          “Mr. Popper’s Penguins,” which
Carrey will deliver a fairly stan-    to do this thing all CGI, where        comes out June 17.

Records perfect for summer listening
                                      especially on the album “Roll the      stronger than trees yet soft as the
      By BridgETTE kEEhl              Bones,” which is full of mystery       wind whispering on the vast emp-
           Staff Writer               and nostalgia.                         tiness of the ocean. His voice truly
                                          The sound is of warmth and         has the complexity and intricate
   Summer is here. I don’t know       complexity, and all his tunes pull     beauty of a spider web.
about you, but I love to create the   you deep within the multiple gui-           As I proceeded to listen
perfect playlist to go along with     tar, banjo layers, chorused vocals     through this Texan fever-dream
this amazing weather.                 and masterful poetic lyrics            of an album, I could not believe
    The search for my playlist            This brilliant one-man band        my ears when I heard “City In A
has been a might y one, long          i s r u n by Te x a s ge nt le m a n   Bottle (live @ 2023).”
and hard but also very reward-        Alejandro Rose-Garcia, and not            This live track had stolen me
ing. Of course, the compilation       much is known about him expect         away from my living room and
spreads across many genres, for       that his music can be found only       into a car, riding along the moun-
I have long ago leaped from the       on MySpace and Bandcamp. But           tains with my hair blowing in the
restricting labels. Great music       that just intensifies his mystique.    wind as the sun warms my body.
blossoms from many different          W hen I f irst found and play          This album is a road trip every-
backgrounds.                          “Unlucky Skin,” I was captured         one should try, especially if you
   From fast and hard beat songs      and captivated by the banjo. His       need to cure to your wanderlust
where all you want to do is rip off   sultry and light plucks guided         heart-strings.
your clothes and run around from      me through a world I have never           “To Cure What Ails...” brings
artists like the Dead Kennedys,       venture through.                       “Roll Your Bones” to an end,
to the epic party songs of Cage           His music is a feel-good, down     but leaves you with a lust to run
the Elephant, nothing stood out       to earth, folksy dream. His voice      outside and go camping. Really
like the gentle, breezy, summer       is as deep as a valley but light as    every song grabs your very soul
day songs of Shakey Graves —          the sparks that fly off a campfire,    and begs you to be free and wild.
                                                                                                                                                                                   filE phoTo

 I’ve always wanted to be knighted by Queen Elizabeth II. “Sir                                                           Currently Seeking Asian Egg Donor for Couple
 Glenn” has a nice ring to it. If you are a professional writer (mini-                                               Help make our dream of parenthood come true. We are
 mum of five years of experience required), meet me here at 4                                                         seeking an Asian donor — preferably Korean — but
 p.m. tomorrow by the computers. You will be writing my autobi-                                                      will consider others. Qualifications: Female age 21-30,
                                                                                                                       Good family health history, non-smoking, education
 ography for me. This is the best way to get the queen’s attention.                                                   preferred, reliable. All donations are confidential and
                                                                                                                     monitored by nurses/physicians. Egg donation requires
 You’ll want to cancel any plans that you have because I’ve got a                                                       approximately 11 appointments over three months.
 lot of great things to say in my book. Payment will be in leftover                                                  Compensation is $3,000 for a complete donation cycle.
                                                                                                                              For detailed information, please visit
 Easter candy and in the protection only a friend who carries a                                                 (click on the “Donor
 sword can offer.                                                                                                        Information” link). If interested, please contact
                                                                                                                       (616)988-2229, ext. 131, and say you are answering
                                                                                             - Glenn                                     our advertisement.
14   A&E                                                                                   C him es                                                                                        May 6, 2011

‘Dragon Age II’ reignites gaming                                                                                            Editor in chief’s top five
                                                                                                                             1. “D r. Hor r ible’s Si ng-
                                       to the dialogue system. While               One of the most interesting
     By Cara MCDonough                 your choice of character is limited     options to me is the save import.         Along Blog”: OK, so I realize
           guest Writer                to gender and class, Hawke is           If you played “Origins,” import           this was released in 2008, but
                                       fully voiced, allowing for a new        a save f ile from the game to             this past summer marked the first
   Bioware is back with their next     dimension of interaction. Players       Dragon Age II, and you will hear          time I watched it in its entirety.
installment in the Dragon Age          are still in control of the charac-     frequent mention of your past             And, as I’m sure you all know,
series, Dragon Age II. Creators        ter’s speech and moral choices,         character from across the ocean           it’s brilliant. I even dressed up as
of famous titles such as “Mass         but they are able to hear their         in Kirkwall. This also changes            ELE Dr. Horrible for Halloween
Effect” and “Star Wars: Knights        character speak. The dialogue           certain events in “Dragon Age             and have converted baker’s doz-
of the Old Republic,” Bioware has      options have been given a moral         II,” which gives a whole new              ens to the cult of the Horrible.
brought another fantastic game         compass of sorts, which allows          aspect to the story.                      Come on in, the water’s fine.
to the stage. “Dragon Age II”          players to fine-tune their choices          The game’s story sucks you in.        Watch it on Netflix or just shell
starts a new story in the series,      from being angelically agreeable        As the player, you have a lot of          out the $10 and by the DVD. The
instead of continuing from the         to brutishly abrasive.                  impact on your surroundings, and          extras alone make it well worth
“Origins” game. You                                                                       one moral choice can           the purchase.
star as Hawke, a refugee                                                                  change the entire course           2. “The Guild”:“The Guild”
from The Blight, trying                                                                   of the game. As of this        is a Web mini-series written and
to find a place in the city                                                               article, I have finished       created by none other than the
of Kirkwall.                                                                              three playthroughs, and        lovely Felicia Day (who plays the
   After a bit of open-                                                                   I’m still ready for more.      heroine Penny in “Dr. Horrible”). It chronicles the interactions of
ing dialogue, which you                                                                   If you’re worried that         socially awkward MMORPG players, members of the Knights of
should absolutely not                                                                     “Dragon Age II” might          Good, who are forced to meet up outside the world of The Game.
skip, you are thrown                                                                      not hold enough story for      Of special note are the music videos “Do You Wanna Date My
into combat. Pause and                                                                    you, fear not. Bioware         Avatar?” and “Game On!” Check it out at
take a bit of time to fa-                                                                 f requent ly releases              3. Eurovision: It’s a mostly European (along with some wan-
miliarize yourself with                                                                   downloadable content,          nabe countries like Israel and Turkey) song competition happens
the new system, as you                                                                    which adds anything            every year in May; this year, the semi-finals will be on May 10
start off with quite a few                                                                from quest lines to weap-      and 12, and the final will be on May 14. It’s a great spectacle
skills. Combat has been                                                                   ons, even entirely new         and it’s always filled with Europop that’s both terribly catchy
streamlined, giving play-                                                                 chapters to your game.         and downright terrible. You can watch it at
ers more control, yet still                                                               All of these are com-              4. Dragon Age II: I had to put this near the bottom of my list
allowing them to focus                                                                    pletely worth checking         because, sadly, I have not yet played it (the whole no time and no
on their selected char-                                                                   out, and most are priced       money thing got in the way). But between my undying love for
acter. The tactics system                                                      file photo
                                                                                          at $5, depending on the        everything else in the Dragon Age franchise and my eager an-
allows for a more perfect fighting        The companions have also             amount of content. “Dragon                ticipation of DA2, I feel compelled to include this in my top five.
system. Even the command bar           changed. While a few favorites          Age II” is not an expansion to                5. Charlie Sheen/Songify This: “Winning”: Unlike my
has been cleaned up and simpli-        from “Origins” have made it to          “Origins.” It is a completely new         esteemed colleague Griffin Jackson, I think the whole Charlie
fied. Items have been added to the     Kirkwall, there’s a whole new line      game, with updated graphics,              Sheen debacle was pretty hilarious. While I agree that Sheen
bar, freeing up space for attacks      of characters. Feel free to make        combat system and a new story             pretty clearly has a host of psychological and substance abuse
and spells. The new system makes       them angry; companions no lon-          filled with political intrigue and        problems, I think that most of his “breakdown” was a care-
the game seem easier at first, and     ger leave you when you contradict       betrayal. I urge you to pick up           fully calculated publicity stunt — just check out the supposedly
might fool you into upping the         them too much. In fact, there are       this game, load it up and dive in         “unedited” version of his 20/20 interview on ABC he himself
difficulty. But don’t worry – there    significant combat bonuses if a         to an awesome story. “Dragon              uploaded, and you’ll see what I mean. Regardless of whether the
are challenges.                        character is either your friend or      Age II” is available for Xbox 360,        whole thing was breakdown or a publicity stunt, the Gregory
   The game also makes changes         your rival.                             Playstation 3 and Mac/PC.                 Brothers’ inspired Songify This called “Winning” firmly places
                                                                                                                         Sheen and the Gregory Brothers on my top five list.

‘Beau Geste’ showcases Hollywood of yesteryear
                                       remake of a 1926 adaptation of          about the Gestes has changed,           the huge scar on his cheek). Not           hero stereotypes and villain ste-
       By John Morton                  Wren’s 1924 novel. Like its liter-      except that John (Ray Milland)          only are the Gestes equal to               reotypes. Donlevy’s scenery-
           Staff Writer                ary and cinematic predecessors,         now swoons over Isobel (Susan           the task, but they remain clean-           chewing Markoff spends a lot of
                                       the 1939 film tells a bravura tale of   H ay wa rd), D igby ( Robe r t          shaven and spotlessly uniformed            time with his chest thrust out and
   Widely regarded as the Golden       jewel theft, desert battles, heart-     P res ton) s por t s a mu s t ache      throughout.                                fists on his hips, narrow-eyed and
Year of American movies, 1939          less villains and brotherly love.       and Beau looks and speaks just             “Beau Geste” is steeped in that         barking ultimatums of escalating
saw a glut of now-legendary films         The film opens in 1900s North        like Gary Cooper. When Lord             distinct breed of idealism unique          cruelty. You can never quite sus-
adorn the screens of an America        Africa, as a column of French           Brandon decides to sell their final     to the golden age of Hollywood.            pend disbelief and see beyond ac-
comfortably situated between the       legionnaires marches through the        financial asset, a massive sap-         Nearly every character, regardless         tors in perfectly tailored costumes
Great Depression and the Second        desert to the aid of a besieged fort,   phire called the Blue Water, the        of his nationality, speaks perfect         on perfectly built sets, delivering
World War.                             only to find its entire garrison        jewel mysteriously disappears,          American English. Isobel (whose            lines with an artificially perfect
   While Dorothy and her com-          slain and propped against the bat-      and one by one the Geste brothers       relationship to Lady Brandon               cadence and striking all the deter-
panions skipped and sang their         tlements                                                                                            is downplayed          mined poses and winning smiles
way down the Yellow Brick Road,        i n b a t t le -                                                                                    so that adopted        on cue with the self-aware musi-
Scarlett O’Hara played hard to         ready                                                                                               John isn’t up          cal score.“Beau Geste” is not a
get with Rhett Butler in director      poses. The                                                                                          to any t h i ng        bad movie, just a dated one. It is a
Victor Fleming’s two Technicolor       rest of the                                                                                         unscrupulous)          perfect example of the craftsman-
extravaganzas, “The Wizard of          film shows                                                                                          exists mainly          ship and industrial mindset that
Oz” and “Gone With The Wind,”          the events                                                                                          to express             defined movies of that time, when
respectively.                          leading                                                                                             feminine anxi-         studios cranked out a feature
   Meanwhile, idealistic sena-         up to t his                                                                                         ety and to be          every week, just like any other
tor Jefferson Smith confronted         mysterious                                                                                          kissed by John         factory. The sets are impressive,
a corrupt Washington bureau-           discovery,                                                                                          before he runs         and it is still exhilarating to see
cracy with good, old-fashioned         starting                                                                                            off to play le-        the characters emptying clip after
American values, while a moody         with the                                                                                            gionnaire. The         clip into enemy hordes, whose
stable boy named Heathcliff            childhood                                                                                           three main             horses crumple and fall magnifi-
pined for the unattainable Cathy       of t he                                                                                             actors (all of         cently, sending up clouds of dust.
out on the English moors, in “Mr.      three pro-                                                                                          whom were              The black-and-white photography
Smith Goes to Washington” and          tagonists,                                                                                          Academy                is crisp, and the print has barely
“Wuthering Heights.”                   brothers                                                                                            Award winners          any flaws in it.
   Movies were at the height of        and adopt-                                                                                          at some point)            Although Beau Geste is not
their cultural influence and the       ed sons of                                                                                          were likely cast       Cooper’s most charismatic char-
Holly wood st udios operated           British aris-                                                                                       based on star          acter, he infuses Beau with his
with an energy and flair that is       tocracy.                                                                                            power, as they         distinct noble charm. You get the
now gone.                                 The                                                                                              are just a little      impression that the actors were
   Another sensational adventure       three Geste                                                                                         too old to cred-       enjoying their work, and at the
film released in 1939 was William      brothers —                                                                                          ibly behave like       end of the day, all they were doing
Wellman’s “Beau Geste,” based          Beau, John                                                                                          me n i n t hei r       was making a product for audi-
on P.C. Wren’s novel of the same       and Digby                                                                                           early twenties.        ences to enjoy. The movie and
name. Although “Beau Geste”            — re-enact                                                                                             Throughout          the novel were later lampooned
has not enjoyed the same shelf         naval bat-                                                                                          the film, title        in Marty Feldman’s Mel Brooks-
life as many other films released      t les wit h                                                                                         c a rd s ju st i f y   like “The Last Remake of Beau
in 1939, it is a perfect example of    model                                                                                               the use of jump        Geste” (1977).
how “they don’t make ’em like          ships, hide                                                                                         c uts to move             If you can’t stand old movies,
they used to.”                         in suits of                                                                              file photo characters to a        artificial acting or black-and-
   Percival Christopher Wren           armor and                                                                                           different conti-       white films, “Beau Geste” prob-
was a stereotypical British co-        idolize K ing A r thur and his          enlist in the Foreign Legion.           nent or 15 years into the future.          ably is not for you. If you enjoy
lonial officer. After graduating       court of heroic knights. Beau,             They do so in order to draw          In the course of adapting Wren’s           Hollywood classics, Gary Cooper
from Oxford, he embarked to the        the eldest and natural leader of        suspicion of the theft away from        idiosyncratic, rambling yarn of            or a movie that does not require
Middle East and North Africa,          the three, dreams of a glorious         each other, but it’s also a conve-      a novel, character development             you to think, you might want to
where he spent many years pre-         Viking funeral, and all three           nient way for them to live out          and rising action are condensed,           check it out. It is available in the
sumably having adventures that         dream of someday joining the            their fantasies and keep up their       as well as much of the novel’s             Cayvan Center as part of the The
are only scarcely documented,          French Foreign Legion. The three        boyhood rivalries.                      atmosphere of exotic locales,              Gary Cooper Collection, a two-
such as an apocryphal stint with       are so caught up in the fantasy            O nc e i n t he le g io n , t he y   life-threatening dilemmas and              disc set featuring five of Cooper’s
the French Foreign Legion. In          lives of privileged British lads        must sur vive desert heat, at-          flea-bitten adventurers who live           lesser-known works. The disc is
this respect, his life was much like   that they scarcely understand           tacks by mounted Hollywood              by a hard code.                            in good shape — if you check it
his fiction, which resembles the       the financial trouble their ab-         extras in colorful Arab garb and           Wellman has not told a story as         out, please keep it that way. P.C.
works of pulp-adventure authors        sent, spendthrift father causes         the schemes of the sadistic Sgt.        much as he has “made a movie.”             Wren’s novel of “Beau Geste” is
like H. Rider Haggard and Edgar        their guardian, Lady Brandon            Markoff (Brian Donlevy), whose             The actors do not perform as            also available from the Hekman
Rice Burroughs.                        (Heather Thatcher).                     Russian surname identifies him          characters, but rather as them-            L i b r a r y, a nd i s p e r fe c t fo r
   Wellman’s “Beau Geste” is a            A f te r 15 yea r s, not much        as The Villain (in case you miss        selves, who in turn play into              light reading.
May 6, 2011                                                              C him es                                                 Etc. 15

                                                                    Language lessons

                                                                                                                 with Amy and Griffin
                                                                      Sadly, this week heralds the last Language Lesson I will
                                                                    write for Chimes (check out page 28 for Griffin’s last Language
                                                                    Lesson). There are still so many words with really, really cool
                                                                    etymologies and commonly misused words and phrases that I
                                                                    just won’t have time to cover. Consequently, I will just briefly
                                                                    touch upon two incorrect phrases and spellings that seem to
                                                                    crop up all the time.
                                                                      “... for all intensive purposes.” The correct phrase is “for all
                                                                    intents and purposes,” and if you stop to think about it, that
                                                                    makes a heck of a lot more sense.
                                                                      “... a shoe-in.” While this seems as though it could make
                                                                    sense, perhaps referencing a shoe in the door or something
                                     “Sorry, we don’t do nakedity   like that, the phrase is actually “a shoo-in.”
                                  in this class.”
                                     - Professor Plantinga, CAS

                 “Imagine President Byker coming
              down through the ceiling announcing that
              all your problems are solved! How divine!”
                 - Professor Dhuga, classics

       “What you need to know ... is how to be
    a good lover, probably the exact opposite of
    what Student Life tells you. If the rules get
    in the way of fun, pitch the rules.”
       - Professor Luttikuizen, art history

                 “I’m going to become a nun or a priest and
               pray for hamsters dressed up as bunnies.”
                  - Professor Koopman, political science
16     Features                                                                       C him es                                                                                       May 6, 2011                                                                                C him es                                                                            Features    17

        May 1939 - artist Bob Kane                                                 Summer 1942 – debut of                                                                                                                     October 5, 1966 –                 June 23, 1989 – “Batman” June 15, 2005 – premiere March 6, 2009 – premiere
                                                                                   Wonder Woman’s self-                     1952-1958 – first                                                                                 Batman movie based                movie premiere starring        of “Batman Begins,”         of “Watchmen,” directed
        and writer Bill Finger created
                                                                                   titled comic. She became                 television series                                                      1965-1968 – Batman         on the television series,         Michael Keaton as              directed by Christopher by Zack Snyder, an
        Batman for “Detective                 March 1941 – debut of
                                                                                   the most successful                      starring Superman,                                                     television series starring the first full-length             Batman and Jack                Nolan and starring          adaptation of the comic
        Comics.” By spring of 1940,           Captain America, the
        Batman’s own self-titled              most influential patriotic           female superhero of all                  entitled “Adventures                                                   Adam West as Batman theatrical adaptation                    Nicholson as the Joker.        Christian Bale as the title book by Alan Moore and
                                                                                   time.                                    of Superman.”                                                          and Burt Ward as Robin. of DC Comics’ Batman                 The film, directed by Tim      character.                  Dave Gibbons.
        comic series began.                   superhero.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                              character.                        Burton, was followed by a
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                sequel in 1992.
     June 1938 - Jerry                                                        August 1941 – debut of                                                                                         August 1962 – first                                                                   2001-Present – “Smallville”
                                       February 1940 – first
     Siegel and Joe                                                           humor artist Jack Cole’s              1943 – first film                                                                                                     December 15, 1978 –                      television series starring
                                       appearance of Captain                                                                                                                                 appearance of Spiderman
     Shuster created                                                          Plastic Man, the first                appearance of Batman                                                                                                  premiere of first Superman               Tom Welling as a young         2006-2010 – television
                                       Marvel in “Whiz Comics.”                                                                                                                              in an issue of “Amazing
     Superman for “Action                                                     parody of superhero                   in a 15-epidsode movie                                                                                                movie starring Christopher               Clark Kent residing in         series “Heroes” runs on
                                       Created by artist C. C.                                                                                                                               Fantasy.” Created by
     Comics.” By 1941,                                                        comics. His humorous,                 serial.                June 1962 –premiere                                                                            Reeve. The film depicts                  the town of Smallville,        NBC. The series was
                                       Beck and writer Bill Parker,                                                                                                                          Stan Lee and artists Jack
     Superman was appearing                                                   light-hearted adventures                                                of Stan Lee and Jack                   Kirby and Steve Ditko,                       Superman’s origins from                  Kan. before he becomes         created by Tim Kring and
                                       the character was given
     in six different comic                                                   separated him from other                                                Kirby’s “The Incredible                Spiderman had his own                        his birth on his home                    Superman. It is the            featured ordinary people
                                       his own series in January
     books and had his own                                                    superheroes of the time                                                 Hulk” comic book.                      series, “The Amazing                         planet of Krypton and his                longest-running comic-         with superhuman abilities.
                                       of 1941, which became
     radio show, newspaper                                                    and contributed greatly                                                                                        Spiderman,” by 1963.                         childhood in Smallville.                 book-based series in
                                       the best-selling superhero
     strip and animated series.                                               to the comic’s success.                                                                                                                                                                              television history.
                                       comic of all time.

                                      In the ancient world — and in        question lies deep within our own      psyche, our creating of superhe-                                                                                                                                                                                                City during World War II.
         By JuSTin MaJeTicH                                                                                                                                     By Jake Ter Haar                                                                                                                                  By cHelSea TaniS                When the two men combine
                                      some cases, up into the last sev-    insecurities and the wonder of         roes is a primal response to our                                           were worried and even out-         that these movies weren’t stand-    sume that the movies you would
             Staff Writer             eral hundred years — superheroes     vicarious experience.                  own mortality, our fear of death.                Staff Writer                                                 alone concepts but actually care-   see would be more of the same                     Staff Writer                their talents (Kavalier is an
                                                                                                                                                                                             raged. They felt like this was
                                      were, most always, the product            See, when we read about or        Superheroes just don’t die. When                                           just a money-grabbing ploy.        fully intertwined, leading up to    stories over and over that were                                               artist and Clay a writer) and
    From Gilgamesh to Achilles to     of copulation between human          watch a superhero, we enter            the film ends, we know with as-            These past few years Marvel        Their fears were quickly        the greatest thing any comic fan    guaranteed to make money, but            W i t h t h e X- M e n , G r e e n   develop a superhero known as
 Beowulf to Son Jara to Superman,     and divine. These demigods           that character. Suddenly, their        surance that the hero lives on          has taken a very bold move         quelled, however, because —        could hope for: an “Avengers”       with Hollywood allowing these         Lantern and Captain America set         “The Escapist” — an anti-fas-
 superheroes have been with us        derived their powers from the        strengths and powers are ours.         — immortalized in the film and          in t ur ning its comic f ran-      as it turned out — these movies    movie. The “Avengers” movie is      movies to pass, movies which          to cast their mighty silhouettes on     cist liberator of the oppressed
 since the dawn of humankind.         supernatural, in its most tran-      We share with them in their            our own imaginations. Thus, in          chise into a movie franchise.      were fantastic. They didn’t        quite possibly the most exciting    may not have seen the light of day    moviegoers around the world this        worldwide — fortune follows.
 Though the superhero has cer-        scendent sense. Contrarily, since    struggle and, ultimately, their vic-   superheroes, we can vicariously         Surprisingly, this has actually    dumb down the characters or        thing to happen to comics and       are now getting the green light       summer, it’s becoming clear that           With these newly acquired
 tainly evolved from culture to       the Enlightenment, very few su-      tory, and as they rise above their     experience such immortality, and        paid off very well, both for       alter the stories significantly,   movies in a long time. \            despite the fact that they aren’t     Hollywood’s arsenal of superhero        funds, Kavalier becomes fully
 culture, a few essential charac-     perheroes are derived from such      trials, we too rise above our own.     more generally, we have an im-          comics and the movie industry.     and it was really cool to see         Amidst the standard fare of      guaranteed to make buckets of         film concepts is nowhere near           devoted to devising the ac-
 teristics are the same through-      divine origins.                      It is therapeutic.                     mortal figure to look to — some-            I’m sure that many of you      “Iron Man” and “Hulk” on the       summer blockbusters and other       money.                                depleted. And although Ryan             tual escape of his family from
 out. The superhero is a human           Instead we find, with no sur-          Of course, our problems are       thing beyond ourselves to hope in       reading this have seen the         silver screen. No longer were      flicks, there is now this movie        So, to make a long story short,    Reynolds’ quest to destroy the          Nazi-occupied Prague while
 with abilities and powers far        prise, that they are the result      still there when we leave the          (as fantastical as that hope might      “Hulk” movies, and even more       these characters confined to       which only seven years ago          the rise of comic book movies         giant-forehead-mutant-man may           Sammy struggles to alleviate
 surpassing those of the natural      of science and purely chemical       theater or close the book, but for     be). In this way, superhero culture     of you have seen the “Iron         the pages of comic books; they     would have had absolutely no        has not only helped the comic         be remarkable to behold in the          his internal woes. As with any
 human being; further, he or she      mutation. With the onset of a        a time, they weren’t. For a time,      is not unlike religion, but that is a   Man” movies. For the general       were now full-blown super-         chance of being released due to     industry to f lourish but it has      visual sense, it certainly won’t of-    story involving superheroes,
 utilizes these powers to ensure      rational age, the divine superhero   we were free — for a time, they        topic for another day.                  public, these movies have been     stars, and the public ate it up.   it being too big a risk for movie   also shown that Hollywood is          fer the kind of character depth or      a woman, Rosa Luxemburg
 the well-being of their respective   has become all but extinct. (Of      didn’t exist!                             So, does the recent surge of         regular summer fare, explosion        This was a good thing be-       companies. But now, with this       willing to take more risks. And       plot intricacy that can be found in     Saks, gets thrown into the
 people groups, whether that be an    course, there’s always Bibleman)         For a time, we were f lying        superheroes in popular culture          filled blockbusters.               cause it introduced many peo-      summer’s release of “Thor”          this is good for everyone because     the pages of a good ole-fashioned       mix to further complicate the
 African tribe or New York City.         But why does humanity keep        with Superman, swinging with           anticipate the immediacy of apoc-          For comic fans, however,        ple to the world of comic books    (May 6) and “Captain America:       it means that no longer will we       novel.                                  cousins’ lives.
 That is not to say superheroes       imagining superheroes millennia      Spider ma n, sw i m m i ng w it h      alyptic onslaught? Probably not.        these movies were much more.       and brought in more readers        The First Avenger” (July 22) it     have to see “Saw 30” or “Final           In his 2001 Pulitzer Prize-             There have been rumors
 are perfect. They certainly have     after millennia? On one level, it    Aquaman. What? You say you             Chances are it was a brilliant mar-     Like most pop-culture aficio-      for Marvel and more fellow         is clear that Hollywood is will-    Destination 22,” instead we are       winning f ictional tale, “The           of a film adaptation floating
 their moments of darkness and        is because they, like all fantasy,   have no problems? Well, at the         keting move by Marvel to avoid          nados, comic lovers hate seeing    fans to talk with about the        ing to take the chance on these     getting movies like “The Dark         Amazing Adventures of Kavalier          around since the book was
 despair, but as a whole, they are    exercise our minds and excite        very least, this vicarious experi-     bankruptcy. However, though             their favorite heroes dumbed       comics. These movies opened        movies even though they are not     Knight” and “Iron Man,” mov-          & Clay,” Michael Chabon fuses           first published, but regardless
 the quintessential champions of      our imaginations — they’re fun,      ence is a way to escape the sheer      their popularity may f luctuate         down into typical action movie     up a whole new world for these     guaranteed to be smash hits.        ies that are willing to break the     the world we know with the fan-         of whether or not the names
 the people.                          and you know as well as I how we     tedium of your no doubt lacklus-       over time, I’d be willing to bet        stars, so when they first heard    characters to thrive in.              There is one big reason why      mold and show that perhaps            tastic in a unique fashion.             “Kavalier” and “Clay” ever
    What has changed is for the       humans like to have fun.             ter life — to be someone else for      that superheroes will be with us        that Marvel was taking the            Even more surprising, how-      this is so important: until re-     Hollywood hasn’t lost its soul, but       The story focuses on the trials     do become eternally associated
 most part trivial. However, one         However, I am proposing that      a couple hours.                        as long as we humans retain any         step into Hollywood, many          ever, was when fans learned        cently it was pretty safe to as-    merely misplaced it and is now        of Jewish cousins Josef Kavalier        with a couple pretty faces from
 consistent shift is worth noting.    the comprehensive answer to this         To dig further into the human      creative capabilities.                                                                                                                            finding it again.                     and Sammy K layman (Clay)               Hollywood, take your mother’s
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          while they are living in New York       advice and read the book first.
18             N at i o N a l
          a N d Wo r l d N e W s                                                             “      It shows that we are not victims. We are victors. We are visible victors.
                                                                                                                   -Pastor Tommie Lewis, “Southern churches strong,” p. 19
Robert Mueller resigning as FBI director                                                                            Shell plans Alaska oil drilling
                                          A team headed by Holder and      focus from solving crimes and                                                   a Republican member of the
       by nathan slauer                Vice President Joe Biden is lead-   making arrests to discovering                     by david ryou                 House Energy and Commerce
        nat-World co-editor            ing the search. The criteria, which and preventing threats.                             staff Writer                Committee, argued the urgency
                                       the team states they are using to      Several high-ranking indi-                                                   of the situation.
   After completing a 10-year          decide upon a new FBI director,     viduals serving in either the de-           This week Shell Oil, a United          “Americans are reeling from
term as director of the FBI, the       strike some as reminiscent of       fense or legal communities are           States-based multinational oil         staggering prices at the pump,”
longest since J. Edgar Hoover,         Mueller during his time as direc-   being considered as candidates           company, will be presenting a          he exclaimed. “The president has
Robert Mueller plans on retir-         tor. Officials say that the Obama   for the open position. These in-         proposal to the federal govern-        to justify to the American people
ing on Sept. 4. Mueller, who led       administration seeks a candidate    clude former Attorney General            ment that will be sure to spike        why we are not replacing Saudi
efforts to reform the FBI into a       who has support both within         James Comey, United States               tensions amongst the Obama ad-         Arabian oil imports with U.S.-
functioning domestic intelligence      the intelligence community and      Attorney for the Northern                ministration, Republicans, envi-       produced oil.”
agency while dealing                                                                  District of Illinois          ronmentalists and Alaskan locals.         And environmental concerns
with the aftereffects of                                                              Ch icago Pat r ick            Shell is seeking authorization to      remain, as well. Though Shell’s
September 11, which                                                                   Fit zge ra ld, New            drill exploratory oil wells —pos-      top executive in Alaska, Pete
occurred a mere week                                                                  Yo rk Cit y Pol ic e          sibly up to 10 — in the vast waters    Slaiby, promised that the com-
after he became direc-                                                                Commissioner                  of Alaska. Once making up a            pany would take “painstaking
tor, shall be missed by                                                               Raymond Kelly and             third of United States’ oil produc-    precautions to protect wildlife,”
many. Mueller worked                                                                  fo r me r A s s i s t a nt    tion, Alaska is now running dry        local hunters are concerned that
effectively with a wide                                                               At tor ney General            in its current oil wells. Despite      the disruptive drilling activity
variety of individuals,                                                               Kenneth Wainstein,            its rapid decline in production, it    would interfere with the natural
including four differ-                                                                a l l of whom hold            is strongly believed that the state    life patterns of the walruses that
ent attorneys general                                                                 their own strengths           is still holding large quantities of   live there. With the possible dis-
and both a Republican                                                                 and weaknesses for            oil beneath its surface — enough       ruption of the migrating habits of
and Democratic presi-                                                                 the Obama admin-              oil to fuel millions of cars in the    these walruses, the food supply of
dent, but with a con-                                                                 istration and none of         U.S. for approximately 35 years.       the locals would be disrupted too.
tinued sense of inde-                                                                 whom seem to main-            This strong belief has led large       But an even bigger environmental
pendence.                                                                             tain a solid lead as          oil industries such as Shell to        concern needs to be addressed
   “Bob is a hard per-                                                                front runner.                 pursue supposedly oil-rich fields      as well: What steps would Shell
son to replace,” said                                                                     One uncertainty           in Alaska, where it can once again     take to prevent any potential mass
Attorney General Eric                                                                 the Obama adminis-            satisfy the never-ending demand        spills like BP’s?
Holder. “He has done                                                                  tration must contend          for new oil supplies.                     In response to the question,
a really excellent job in                                                             with is whether or               The proposal set forth by Shell     Shell is proposing an increased
transforming the FBI                                                                  not, if nominated,            has President Obama and the            amount of check-ups and testing
He is a person who has                                                                one of these candi-           administration facing a new di-        on safety equipment, blowout
the confidence of those                                                               dates would act u-            lemma. The BP spill in the Gulf of     preventers and the drill rig, as
in the FBI and people                                                                 ally want to be the           Mexico, which occurred last year,      well as using drill ships in pairs,
in the intelligence com-                                                              director of the FBI.          put pressure on the White House        so that one ship could drill a re-
munity. He’s a person                                                                 Most of the poten-            to enforce stricter regulations on     lief well for the other in case one
I’ve worked with for a                                                                tial appointees al-           offshore drilling. After promising     ship sinks. Yet this proposal for
number of years — he’s                                                                ready maintain high-          safety over economic interests,        increased safety is not enough
a friend. He has the                                                                  paying and highly             President Obama must decide            for environmentalists, who argue
president’s confidence                                                                respected positions           quickly. With the rising oil prices    that the risks are too great. With
as well. So we want to                                                                that they may not             in the United States, permitting       extremely low temperatures and
make sure the person                                                                  want to give up. In           Shell to drill new exploratory oil     sensitive marine life surround-
picked to be his suc-                                             Wikimedia commons addition, the chosen            wells could reveal previously un-      ing the oil rigs, the costs seem to
cessor will be able to After the longest term as FBI director since J.                candidate will have           known oil resources, which could       greatly outweigh the benefits. But
fill those really large Edgar Hoover, Robert Mueller will be retiring and to wait for a senate                      temporarily reduce U.S. depen-         Slaiby argued that Shell and other
shoes that he leaves.” will undoubtedly be missed.                                    vote, likely a drawn          dence on foreign oil. But rejecting    companies, had safely drilled in
   Now, following the                                                                 out process. Holder           the proposal could mean outrage        Alaska in the 80s and 90s without
selection of new leaders for the outside it, comprehends the bu- hopes that a new director can                      amongst Republicans, who are           causing any major damage to sur-
Central Intelligence Agency and reau’s culture and will not stir be in place by the time Mueller                    demanding energy independence          rounding wildlife.
the Defense Department, the time controversy. One of the intended officially leaves his position                    of oil, which would create more           “We’ve never told people that
has come for the Obama adminis- goals the Obama administration within the FBI, but the chances                      jobs in the United States and          what we do doesn’t entail risk,” he
tration to pick who will be filling has for the new FBI director is for of that happening appear to                 combat rising oil prices.              stated. “But the risks are different
those“really large shoes.”          that individual to shift the FBI’s be slim.                                        Representative Cory Gardner,        from the Gulf of Mexico.”

American response to Osama bin Laden’s death glad yet grave
Although the death signifies a victory over al-Qaeda, some work to keep rhetoric appropriately sober
                                       against us. We must — and we          The other side of the argument, list of Scripture being used both to also vocal and yet divided in
      by rachel hekman                 will — remain vigilant at home if it can be called that, emphasizes defend the United States’ action our opinions of both bin Laden’s
           staff Writer                and abroad.”                        the triumph of morality and sees against bin Laden and to criticize death and Obama’s actions.
                                          To finish the speech, Obama the death of bin Laden as a criti- it. The article “‘Do Not Gloat’                Eu n hye K i m, a f resh ma n
   Sunday night (around 11:30          thanked members of the CIA, cal victory against global terror- vs. ‘Joy to the Righteous’” can be from Inchoen, South Korea, com-
p.m. EST), a somber and rather         the military and the families of ism — a step towards future peace found at; mented that she “is glad if Osama
tired-looking President Obama          those lost on 9/11 and concluded and safety. Former president search Stephen Smith. I will give bin Laden’s death causes peace
issued a statement from the White      with a reminder that we are “one George W. Bush issued a state- you a brief sampling.                         and relief of mind for Americans,
House confirming the reports           nation, under God, indivisible, ment Sunday night describing             Number 11 on their list: “For but I would say it is not good
that had been rocking the nation       with liberty and justice for all.”  Obama’s actions as reinforcing I take no pleasure in the death of t o c e l e b r a t e a n o t h e r
for several hours: “Tonight,”             Reactions both to the presi- the American understanding of anyone, declares the Sovereign person’s death.”
Obama began, “I can report to          dent ’s statement                                                                                                            The author of
the American people and to the         and to bin Laden’s                                                                                                       t h i s a r t ic le he r sel f
world that the United States has       deat h have, of                                                                                                          does “not re joice
conducted an operation that            course, been mixed.                                                                                                      in a death. I rejoice in
killed Osama bin Laden, the            CBS reported that                                                                                                        the triumph of justice
leader of al-Qaeda, and a terrorist    at G r ou nd Z e r o                                                                                                     and the advent of a
who’s responsible for the murder       in New York City,                                                                                                        safer world.”
of thousands of innocent men,          a c r owd of ove r                                                                                                           But perhaps sopho-
women and children.”                   1,000 people gath-                                                                                                       more Katie Potts of
   In the rest of the 10-minute        ered to celebrate,                                                                                                       Grand Junction,
speech, Obama reminded the             ch a nt i n g “USA ,                                                                                                     Mich., puts it best: “As
American people of the tragedy         USA!” T hose of                                                                                                          Americans, it’s OK to
that was Sept. 11, 2001, and —         us who l ive on                                                                                                          be a little relieved, but I
admirably avoiding any partisan-       campus probably                                                                                                          think as Christians we
ship or political finger-pointing      heard similar cel-                                                                                                       should not rejoice in
— described his administra-            ebrations Sunday                                                                                                         the death of a fellow ...
tion’s work in tracking down and       night as other                                                                                                           even if he is — was —
eventually finding bin Laden’s         students learned of                                                                                                      evil. We should mourn
hideout in Abbottabad, Pakistan.       the event.                                                                                                               the fact that he is most
American special forces (alleged-         Other observers                                                                                                       likely not in heaven
ly in conjunction with Pakistani       are not so keen on                                                                                                       but in hell. I think, as
Inter-Services Intelligence agents)    what they see as a                                                                                                       Christians, that should
stormed the compound af ter            celebration of death                                                                                                     bother us.”
                                                                                                                                             Wikimedia commons
a short trade of fire on Sunday        that makes us no                                                                                                             As we prepare for
evening, killing bin Laden and         better than al-Qae- President Obama’s tone announcing the death of Osama bin Laden was sober and                         the inevitable deluge
taking possession of his body.         da. As evangelical melancholy rather than gleeful.                                                                       of conspiracy theories
At this point the details are          pastor Brian McLaren noted, ‘justice for all,’ saying, “No mat- Lord. Repent and live!” (Ezekiel — some completely unfounded,
still unclear.                         “Joyfully celebrating the killing ter how long it takes, justice will 18:32)                                  others with very good proof —
   The president also took care        of a killer who joyfully celebrated be done.”                            Number 3 on their list: “When and political and global fallout,
to note that the death of bin          killing carries an irony that I       Needless to say, Bible verses justice is done, it brings joy to the may we remember President
Laden is by no means the end           hope will not be lost on us. Are are f lying hard on both sides. righteous but terror to evildoers.” Obama’s words:
of the war against terrorism:          we learning anything or simply Christianity Today, a leading (Proverbs 21:15)                                    “Thank you. May God bless
“There’s no doubt that Al-Qaeda        spinning harder in the cycle evangelical magazine and forum,             In the time-honored Calvin you. And may God bless the
will continue to pursue attacks        of violence?”                       published on Monday a lengthy way, of course, we students are United States of America.”
May 6, 2011                                                                                 C him es                                                         NatioNal & World NeWs 19

Government tornado response praised                                                                                 Southern churches strong
                                        slow speed of power restoration         lost in the mail,” said Perry.
       by nathan Slauer
       nat-World co-editor
                                        and road clearing and traffic jams
                                        which were caused by roadblocks
                                                                                   Critics aside, the majority of
                                                                                public opinion still seems to fa-
                                                                                                                    Tornadoes can’t break hardy churches
                                        and nonfunctional street signals.       vor the government’s response                                                 As disenfranchised as many
   “It ain’t like Katrina,” said        Others are confused as to why the       to the tornadoes in the South.            by rachel hekman                 of these Southern churches are,
Darius Rutley, a 21-year old            federal government decided to           One aspect that has been par-                  Staff Writer                many congregations are joining
whose house just was destroyed.         step in to aid local and state gov-     ticularly favored was the direct                                           in the much-needed relief efforts,
“We’re getting help.”                   ernments following the aftermath        involvement of the president,          S ay wh a t yo u l i ke a b o ut    manning phone trees to track
   The “it” to which Rutley refers      of the recent tornadoes striking        as well as cooperation be-          Sout he r n Bapt i s t s, b ut you     down missing neighbors and as-
is the spate of tornadoes which         the South, but not other natural        tween his administration and        cer tain ly can’t deny t hey’ve        sisting in cleanup.
obliterated much of the southern        disasters. One such critic is the       members of local and state          got resilience.                           Even brothers and sisters in
part of the United States and           Texas Governor, Rick Perry, who         government. President Obama            In the wake of last week’s wave     Christ not affected by the tor-
amassed a death toll of approxi-                                                arrived in the hardest-hit area,    of deadly tornadoes, hardy con-        nadoes are pitching in to help.
mately 342, making it what some                                                 Tuscaloosca, Alabama, a mere        gregations of Christians gathered      Members of the Park Central
are calling the worst natural di-                                               40 hours after the disaster         Sunday morning in tents, open          Presbyterian Church (New York)
saster since Hurricane Katrina.                                                 struck. This stands in sharp        fields and even in the skeletons of    are assembling and shipping
But unlike that 2005 disaster, the                                              contrast with the 12 days it        their former church buildings to       health kits down south, including
public response to the govern-                                                  took for President Obama to         worship God and thank him for          toiletries and basic first-aid ma-
ment’s handling of the crisis has                                               arrive in New Orleans follow-       sparing their lives.                   terials in the boxes, and are only
been generally positive.                                                        ing the BP oil spill incident in       Such faith seems star tling         some of the many faith-based
   “I don’t think there’s much                                                  the Gulf Coast.                     when we consider the extent of         organizations that are already
to grumble about,” said 20-year                                                    Wilson was impressed to see      the destruction caused by the          at work trying to patch together
old Axavier Wilson, referring to                                                both President Obama and the        killer twisters.                       a fractured South. Numerous
the government’s response to the                                                Alabama Governor, Robert               Widely considered to be the         groups have volunteered to help
southern storms. “Everybody                                                     Bentley visiting the area in        deadliest tornado system since         those in need.
feels secure about getting help.”                                               which he had, previous to           the Great Depression, over 320            The most important role these
   Considering that Wilson sur-                                                 the tornadoes striking, lived.      people were killed by the storms       faith communities can act in,
vived a tornado by hiding in a                                                  “I’ve never seen devastation        and thousands more injured as          though, as much in need of help
closet while the rest of his house                                              like this,” said Obama. “It’s       they cut across seven Southern         as they are, is spiritual and emo-
caved in around him, he seems                                                   heartbreaking.”                     states over the course of 24 hours     tional support.
uniquely qualified to make an                                                      “Heartbreaking” is certain-      (Wednesday through Thursday,              Congregations without build-
assessment. Much of the South                                                   ly an apt word to describe the      April 27-28).                          ings are holding funerals, con-
has been described by locals as                                                 continuing troubles that the           Alabama was the hardest hit,        ducting free cookouts for those
an unimaginable wasteland.                                                      South will face as it continues     with over 200 fatalities within its    without food and offering sympa-
Despite this, however, most of                                                  to cope with the damage that        borders alone.                         thetic shoulders to cry on.
these residents felt that their basic                       Wikimedia commonS   the tornadoes have caused.             The New York Daily News                But perhaps most hopeful for
need for food, water, shelter and       Texas Governor Rick Perry               Experts remain unsure as to         quoted Bethel Baptist Church           those of us believers on the out-
medical care were being met by          has been one of the few                 how long the recovery effort        (Pratt City, Ala.) pastor Tommie       side looking in is, as Bishop Larry
a combination of government of-                                                 will last.                          Lew is a s say i ng, “T h is ser-      Benfield noted in the Huffington
                                        critics of the government                                                   vice [held next to the ruins of        Post, that “the overwhelming
ficials and aid workers working                                                    Despite t he t roubles,
for various charitable organiza-        response to the tornadoes.              President Obama continues           the church, with over 5,000 at-        violence of the storms — and
tions. Rescue missions, too, were       believes that his state was unfairly    to stay optimistic regarding        tendees] is our response to trag-      their lack of distinction between
largely praised as successful.          rejected from receiving federal aid     these efforts.                      edy. It shows that we are not          believer and non-believer — has
   Not everyone is pleased by the       as it faced a 2-million-acre stretch       “We can’t control when           victims. We are victors. We are        served as a catalyst that encour-
government’s response efforts,          of wildfires.                           or where a ter r ible stor m        visible victors.”                      ages people of different faiths to
however. Occasional frustration            “You have to ask, ‘Why are you       may strike, but we can con-            The New York Times quoted           work together. That may be one
has been felt toward the lack of        taking care of Alabama and other        trol how we respond to it,”         the beginning of Pastor Lewis’s        positive legacy of this spring’s
access to damaged homes, the            states?’ I know our letter didn’t get   said Obama.                         sermon: “My name is Job.”              storm season.”

Bin Laden’s death has political impact Levee conflict in Missouri
       by nathan Slauer
       nat-World co-editor
                                        think the poll number increase
                                        that President Obama received
                                        will not last once the current
                                                                       waterboarding played a role
                                                                       in pointing the CIA towards
                                                                       bin Laden. The identity of bin
                                                                                                                    Legal debate heard by Supreme Court
                                        national feeling of joy dims once
                                                                       Laden’s courier was suppos-                                                         at this juncture,” he stated on
   After years of searching, the                                       edly attained by use of this
                                        more and focus returns to domes-                                                     by david ryou                 Thursday. “Nonetheless, given
hunt for Osama bin Laden has            tic problems such as high unem-technique on a Guantanamo                               Staff Writer                the long-term effects of the federal
reached its end. After receiving        ployment rates, national debts Bay detainee. Several members                                                       government’s proposal to blow
a tip from a group of Pakistanis                                       of the Bush administration,
                                        and the chaotic state of the federal                                           During the f loodwater crisis       the levee on so many Missouri
regarding the sighting of one                                          which was heavily criticized
                                        government. On top of this uncer-                                           in the Missouri River, the state       cit i zens, we a re dema ndi ng
of bin Laden’s couriers driving                                        for its authorization of the
                                        tainty over the public support for                                          of Missouri demanded Sunday            a review by the federal court be-
in a white Suzuki, CIA opera-           President Obama, unease about  usage of waterboarding, are                  that the U.S. Supreme Court halt       fore the detonation is allowed to
tives managed to track and lo-                                         claiming due to recent events
                                        the future is beginning to creep                                            a plan which would intentionally       go forward.”
cate the compound in which bin          up on many and hard questions  this for m of inter rogation                 penetrate the Birds Point-New             Meanwhile, in Cairo, Illinois
Laden was residing. A group of 79       about American involvement in  should be considered to be                   Madrid levee on the overflowing        National Guard troops were dis-
American troops aided by four he-       Afghanistan are already being  completely exonerated.                       Mississippi River.                     patched into the town to enforce
licopters invaded the compound          asked. Six in 10 Americans think   “President Obama can take                   The plan would save the town        the mayor’s mandatory evacua-
and killed what many thought to                                        credit, rightfully, for the suc-
                                        that bin Laden’s death will lead                                            of Cairo, Ill. but potentially flood   tion order the night before.
be America’s Public Enemy No. 1,                                       cess today,” said John Yoo,
                                        to an increase in terrorist attacks,                                        approximately 130,000 acres of            According to Heath Clark,
the man behind the 9/11 attacks                                        a former Justice Department
                                        and only 16 percent of Americans                                            Missouri farmland.                     a National Guard Sergeant 1st
that destroyed New York’s Twin          feel safer now that bin Laden  official and author of a series                 However, the Supreme Court          Class, only 20-30 individuals and
Towers and took 3,000 lives.            is gone. Public sentiment con- of legal memos defending wa-                 shot down an earlier federal suit      family members were allowed to
While the story of bin Laden’s life     cerning the war in Afghanistan terboarding. “But he owes it                 issued by Missouri, pointing out       stay, after signing waivers that
is now over, however, new events        remains unclear. Around half ofto the tough decisions taken                 a 1928 law which permits the           acknowledged their understand-
continue to unfold following the                                       by the Bush administration.”
                                        those polled believed that troop                                            breach of the levee to ease pres-      ing of the potential dangers of
conclusion of his story.                levels in Afghanistan should       Apart from torture,                      sure on the river.                     staying behind.
   One aspect of this aftermath         decrease (a step that PresidentPresident Obama recently                        Supreme Court Justice Samuel           “If you’re losing everything
is the seemingly cel-                                                              had to cope with                 Alito, who issued the ruling, did      and don’t know where to go,
ebratory mood which                                                                a rather different               not comment on the potential de-       you wouldn’t want to leave, ei-
has been felt by many                                                              issue. When con-                 struction of Missouri farmland,        ther,” Clark exclaimed to The
in the United States.                                                              sidering whether                 which is still populated by several    Associated Press.
A sensation of nation-                                                             or not to release                hundred families.                         Cassie Sutton, a resident from
al pride swept over                                                                the post-mor tem                    The water levels of the Missouri    East Prairie, Miss., expressed
many Americans who                                                                 photographs of bin               River, according to off icials,        her support for the breaching of
believed bin Laden’s                                                               Laden, Obama                     exceeded 59.9 feet Sunday after-       the levee, despite the possibil-
death to be a triumph                                                              decided against it.              noon, breaking the record high of      ity that her property would be
for the war effort in                                                              President Obama                  59.5 feet in 1937.                     wiped out.
Afghanistan and                                                                    was persuaded by                    The levels are expected to rise        “They say it’s going to help
against terrorist forc-                                                            Defense Secretary                to about 61.5 feet on Tuesday.         Cairo, then I’m for it,” she stated.
es. This is evidenced                                                              Robert Gates and                 Because the levee can only handle      “But I have a feeling that will
by recent increases                                                                Secretary of State               levels up to 64 feet, the Corps’       destroy Mississippi County, fi-
in popular support                                                                 H i l l a r y C l i nton         concern for the lives of 3,000         nancially bankrupt our county,
for leaders involved                                                               that a release of                residents in Cairo are more im-        where the main source of income
with the operation                                                                 these graphic im-                mediate than the vast farmlands        is farming.”
that took down bin                                                                 ages would only in-              of Missouri.                              According to off icials, the
Laden. President                                                 Wikimedia commonS cite more needless                  “I know that the price being        destruction of the levee is loom-
Obama, for instance, Crowds in Times Square demonstrate the positive               violence. In an in-              paid is high,” said Maj. Gen.          ing over the fields of Missouri
received an approval attitude toward bin Laden’s death, which has                  terview with CBS                 Michael Walsh on Saturday.             — barges containing the explo-
rating of 57 percent                                                               News, President                     Missouri Attorney General           sives have been moved to Birds
in a New York Times/ resulted in a jump in Obama’s approval ratings.               Obama said that                  Chris Koster, on the other hand,       Point from Kentucky on Sunday,
CBS News Poll, an 11-point boost Obama says is set to occur this “there is no doubt that we                         questioned the 1928 law, stating       which will be loaded and pre-
from last month’s 46 percent.       summer and be complete by the killed Osama bin Laden. We                        that it was “unclear whether if the    pared for detonation that same
   But the sense of euphoria is year 2014) although six in 10 don’t need to spike the foot-                         Army Corps of Engineers actu-          afternoon.
not universal and there is no tell- believe the American mission in ball.” Now that bin Laden is                    ally had the authority to breach          “It’s going to be a sad, horrible
ing how long it will last. Some Afghanistan is not yet complete. no more, there is no telling                       the levee.”                            thing to watch,” Sutton further
have pointed out that politicians     Another topic that could po- exactly what may happen as                          If so, Koster stated that such      stated in her interview. Whether
often experience an increase in tentially reenter public discourse this infamous figure makes a                     actions would have “potential          or not t his messy process is
their poll numbers when a major is torture. The claim has been permanent exit from the world                        consequences that are significant      necessary, for residents suffer-
military or foreign policy success made that the controversial in- stage and an entrance into the                   to both Missouri and Illinois.”        ing from f looding, speed is of
happens on their watch, and some terrogation technique known as history books.                                         “There are no ‘good’ options        the essence.
20    NatioNal & World NeWs                                                                  C him es                                                                                       May 6, 2011

Unrest in Uganda escalates to physical brutality                                                                         Canadians on pins and needles
Demonstrators demand political change even in the face of death                                                          Political campaign result may surprise many
                                              live rounds.            held for 25 years. “I thought the                                                           longer lead the Liberal Party.
       By Joseph Matheson                        Besigye is currently in Kenya
                                                                      police were going to kill me,” said                    By Christine Bennett                 He will perhaps return to teaching,
        nat-World Co editor                   receiving medical treatment after
                                                                      Andrew Kibwka, 18, after police                                staff Writer                 which was what he had been doing
                                                                      beat him with heavy sticks. “I did
                                              being sprayed with pepper spray.                                                                                    b e fo r e e n t e r i n g p ol it ic s i n
    People are used to hearing                                        nothing to provoke them.
                                                 Police repor tedly smashed                                                  Canadians f locked to the            2005.
about the revolutions in the                                             They beat me because I was
                                              in the window of his car with a                                            polls on Monday to cast their               When asked about the party’s
Middle East demanding politi-                                         running away.” An MP-elect for
                                              hammer and the butt of a gun                                               votes for various parliament             future, Ignatieff replied, “I think
cal freedom, but those revolutions                                    Besigye’s Forum for Democratic
                                              and sprayed him at close range                                             members. After five weeks                the surest guarantee of a future
may be spreading much further                                         C h a n ge, Ss e muj ju I b r a h i m
                                              with pepper spray before arrest-                                           of tireless campaigning, the             for the Liberal Party of Canada
than the Middle East.                                                 Nganda, recalled the way the
                                              ing him, bundling him into the                                             Canadian political par ties              is four years of Conservative
    In Uganda, a similar political                                    protests started: “We just wanted
                                              back of a pickup truck and driv-                                           had waited anxiously for what            government, four years of NDP
revolution is being born, with un-            ing away.               a reawakening of the people. We                    would be a record result in              opposition.”
rest quickly turning into protests                                    started walking, the simplest
                                                 He was allowed to fly to Kenya                                          many ways.                                  Pe rh aps one r e a son for
and spreading throughout the                                          thing on Earth, and Museveni
                                              for medical treatment, possibly                                                For the first time in 23 years,      Liberal’s defeat was that the
country.                                                                               said you can’t.”                  the Conservatives won a ma-              New Democratic Par t y
    The unrest began                                                                      Angered by                     jority in the parliament, tak-           had split many of its votes, now
on April 11, with op-                                                                  the government                    ing 167 out of 308 seats in the          becoming the new opposition
position leader Kizza                                                                  crackdowns,                       House of Commons — mean-                 par t y in the House with 102
Besig ye wa l k i ng to                                                                Ug a n d a n l aw-                ing that Steven Harper, current          seats.
work as a par t of a                                                                   ye r s a r e pl a n -             Canadian prime minister, no                 The NDP is led by Jack Layton
wa l k- to -work c a m-                                                                ning a three-day                  longer has to run a minor-               and has brought many fresh faces
paign intended to draw                                                                 strike to protest                 ity government. Perhaps one              into the parliament. Some are
attention to rising pric-                                                              the use of force by               could hope that his perfor-              speaking of a possible merger be-
es of transportation                                                                   the government.                   mance will be even greater               tween the NDP and the Liberals,
in Uganda. Besigye,                                                                    Br uce Kyerere,                   now that his own party is in             which would again create an
who has lost elections                                                                 president of the                  power.                                   essentially bipartisan system in
to President Yoweri                                                                    Ug a n d a n L aw                     “We’re honored,” Harper              Canada.
Museveni three times,                                                                  Societ y (ULS),                   said. “We’re humbled by the                 Bloc Quebecois, the fourth
was at the time a down-                                                                said, “We’ll sit                  mandate we received from                 player in Canadian politics,
and-out politician with                                                                down for three                    Canadians we received last               lost 43 seats and is now down to only
little influence.                                                                      days starting to-                 night.”                                  four seats in the House of Commons.
    Howe ve r, p ol ic e                                                               morrow, no go-                        “We got that mandate,” he            B lo c Q u e b e c o i s i s a p a r t y
blo c k e d h i s r o u t e,                                         WiKiMedia CoMMons
                                                                                       ing to the courts.”               continued, “because of the way           devoted to protecting Quebec’s
used tear gas on him The Ugandan People’s Defense Force, a program                     This, he said, was                we have governed, because of             interests and creating a political
and the few politicians                                                                to “make a state-                 our record.                              e nv i ron me nt favorable to
with him and arrested designed to train Ugandan soldiers for peace support             ment of displea-                      Canadians expect us to con-          Quebec’s secession.
him, instantly turning operations, continues to help diffuse tensions between          s u re on pol ice                 tinue to move forward in the                H a r pe r, le ade r of t he
Besigye into a hero of the government and protesters.                                  brutality and the                 same way, to be true for the             Conser vatives, said t hat
resistance.                                                                            conduct of judi-                  platform we’ve run on, to be             he was “encouraged” by the
    The largest riots broke out on due to massive public uproar over ciary in the manner in which                        true to the kind of values and           fact that Quebec voters backed a
Friday in Kampala, the capital of the incident, which was caught they’re handling cases of arrested                      policies that we’ve laid out             federalist par t y, namely t he
Uganda, in what ended up being on camera.                             demonstrators.”                                    before them. That’s what we              New Democrats, in t his
the largest anti-government pro-      Besigye has not yet regained       It remains to be seen whether                   will do.”                                election.
tests in sub-Saharan Africa so far the use of his sight from the unrest in Uganda will spread to                             The other great surprise                Lastly, the Green Party has
this year. By Saturday, the capital incident. When asked about the other countries in sub-Saharan                        was that, for the first time in          won its first seat in the parliament.
had calmed, but only after brutal incident, President Museveni said Africa, although several countries                   history, the Liberals came in            Now Elizabeth May, leader of the
government crackdowns that left that the opposition first used pep- have seen instances of protests.                     third place, down to 34 seats            party, can her 307 colleagues
at least five people dead and over per spray on police.                  Even South Africa, normally                     from their original 77.                  in Canadian policy mak ing.
a hundred injured. Government         The people of Uganda have considered the stable rock of the                            The Liberal leader, Michael          “Today we proved that Canadians
forces fired at unarmed civilians reported feeling that Museveni region, has faced deadly protests                       I g n a t ie f f , a n no u nc e d o n   want change in politics,” she told
with rubber bullets, tear gas and is losing grip on the power he has over poor public services.                          Tuesday that he would no                 a cheering audience.

Middle East under duress Remembrance Day provides heartfelt reflection
     By taylor VanderVeen
                                              revolution weighing heavily on
                                              its economy.
                                                                                     Thousands gather around Holocaust memorial to show respect
              staff Writer                       While the political scene is                                          still remember, making sure it             Times, this is the first global
                                              shifting, life for the individual              By GreG KiM               passes on to the next generation           list of property “confiscated,
   Egypt’s new government has                 Palestinian remains a constant                  staff Writer             and making sure it isn’t forgot-           looted or forcibly sold during
taken a fresh stand with Palestine,           struggle to find work and sup-                                           ten,” said Ofer Bavly, Israel’s            the Holocaust era to be made
influencing the relationships that            port a family. There are as many          Six candles representing       consul general to Florida and              available to survivors and their
have been in place between Egypt              as 65,000 Palestinians who cross       the six million Jews killed       Puerto Rico to the Miami Herald.           heirs.” The list includes mate-
and the United States and Israel.             the border into Israel daily in        during the Holocaust were         He was one of the few hundred              rial property such as tracts of
   Un d e r r e c e n t l y e x p e l l e d   order to work. According to            lit by Holocaust sur vivors       who had gathered at the Miami              land, pieces of art and furniture
President Hosni Mubarak, Egypt                the Central Bureau of Statistics,      on Sunday night to mark the       Beach Holocaust Memor ial.                 as well as immaterial property
had sided with Israel and the                 9,000 Palestinians work in Jewish      beginning of Yom Hashoah,         The Memorial includes granite              including stocks and bonds.
United States, wanting nothing                settlements — some legally, oth-       the Holocaust Martyrs’ and        walls on which are engraved the               Already, more than 650,000
to do with Hamas, the political               ers not.                               Heroes’ Remembrance Day.          names of thousands of Holocaust            articles of property have been
party in control of the Gaza Strip.              The head of the Palestinian         Millions of Jews around the       victims.                                   cataloged via this site. Holocaust
Now that the tides have turned,               laborers union said there were         world took the following day          Across the ocean in Israel, fol-       survivors and heirs around the
Egypt is looking to reconcile with            not enough programs in the West        to solemnly remember this         lowing the solemn lighting of the          world can log on and search for
Palestine and advocate for the                Bank to employ all of those who        dark chapter of their history     candles on Sunday night, a two-            items through a system that is
declaration of an independent                 need work. The other option,           by visiting memorials and         minute siren sounded throughout            able to serve 13 different lan-
Palestinian state.                            working in Israel, has many other      gathering with their relatives.   the nation on Monday morning,              guages. The organization also has
   Hamas resolved conflict with               consequences.                          For the numerous survivors of     bringing all activity to a halt.           bases in Milwaukee and Brussels.
Fatah, a political party for the                 Mohammed Omar, father of            the Holocaust, this was a time    Through this pause, Israel as a            The project is merely the start of
liberation of Palestine, last week            two, must sneak into Israel each       to recount their unspeakable      nation honored those who died              a long process.
with Egypt working as negotiator.             day in order to work. He once was      memories.                         during the Holocaust.                         The leaders of the initiative
In light of this banding together,            a legal worker, but was attacked          Though it has been nearly         “Israel is the historical com-          hope that by the end of the year
Egypt’s Foreign minister Nabil-               with hot water by residents, leav-     70 years since Hitler’s rule      memoration to the victims of               the number of properties listed
al Araby is imploring the United              ing him seriously burned. Now          in Germany, there are still       the Holocaust,” said President             on the site will reach one million.
States to see an independent                  he has no permit and must earn         208,000 Holocaust survivors in    Shimon Peres at the Remembrance            Though full restitution may be
Palestine as a good advancement               money as well as he can, finding       Israel and thousands more in      Day commencement ceremony.                 an impossible goal, the fact that
and encourage Israel to negotiate             hidden spots in the city to sleep      the United States and through-    Indeed, the Israeli government, in         this project is up and running
with Hamas.                                   where the police hopefully will        out Europe. Through them,         conjunction with activist-groups-          — with users already logged in
   Both the United States and                 not find him and take him back         the memories of the horrific      led initiatives has stepped up             from all around the globe — is a
Israel have refused to work with              to the West Bank.                      events are kept alive. Before     efforts to reconnect the past with         step toward justice and a recon-
Hamas in the past, regarding it as               Said Salama is a man with a le-     the hundreds gathered at the      the present to preserve the historic       ciliation of the past.
a terrorist group, and have also              gal work permit to work in Israel.     Holocaust Memorial in Miami       event for the future.                         Through such a project and
taken a stand against Palestinian             His day is hardly less stressful,      Beach, a few Holocaust survi-        A n initiative launched on              the various ceremonies around
independence.                                 beginning at 2 a.m. so he can          vors were given a chance to       the eve of this year’s Holocaust           the world, Holocaust survivors
   Egypt’s distancing from Israel             get through the hours of security      read the names of thousands       Remembrance Day is an on-                  and activists hope to carry on
is sure to complicate the U.S.-               checks and arrive at work on time.     who died and recount their ex-    line database where people can             the memory of the painful but
Egypt relationship, and reper-                   Whether on a large scale or         periences of losing loved ones.   catalog property once belonging            undeniable past.
cussions of Egypt’s new stance                through the eyes of the individu-         Organizers of the event said   to families and survivors of the              I n t he f ac e of t he m a ny
may resonate with Congress and                al, Palestine remains in a volatile    that, initially, the ceremony     Holocaust. This is just another            Holocaust deniers who con-
the approval of the Egyptian an-              state. Even with Egypt as a new        focused on remembering those      step in the process of justice and         tinue to voice their ignorance of
nual aid package. Egypt needs as              ally, the U.S. and Israel seem to be   who had passed away during        restitution on behalf of many of           this horrific past, the activists
much financial support as they                holding strong to their previous       the Holocaust. But as more        the surviving victims. After years         and survivors are all the more
can get with the cost of its recent           political stances.                     and more Holocaust deniers        of slogging through the quagmire           pressed to never allow this past
                                                                                     surfaced and vocalized their      of numerous diplomatic channels,           to be erased from history. As
            Although this is the final issue of Chimes, we still                     views, the focus has shifted to   the activist group Holocaust Era           David Mermelstein, a survi-
                                                                                     give the survivors a platform     Asset Restitution Taskforce,               vor, said at the Miami Beach
                 encourage you to write for us next fall.                            on which to recount their ex-     “Project HEART,” saw its project           Memorial Service, “We want
                If you’re interested, contact Jared Stratz                           periences.                        come to fruition with the fund-            to make sure the Holocaust is
                           at                                          “It is really about telling    ing of the Israeli government.             not forgotten and that it never
                                                                                     a story that very few people         According to The New York               happens again.”
May 6, 2011                                                                           C him es                                                         NatioNal & World NeWs 21

Ivory Coast wreckage located                                                  terror: US prevails after a 10-year hiatus
          By GreG Kim
                                      to take a much longer time.             Military strike in Pakistan leads to Osama bin Laden’s death
                                         Authorities are still biting their                                    sive blow in the War on Terror  ment for al-Qaeda and its associ-
           staff Writer               fingernails, however, as the data         Continued from page 1          and will seriously hinder futureates. Certainly, it is not immedi-
                                      on the module still has to be read.                                                                      ately clear who will be the new
                                                                                                               al-Qaeda missions, as well as the
   The French Bureau of               As the plane’s wreckage lies two           The New York Times re-                                        face of global terrorism. If no new
                                                                                                               missions of the terrorist syndicate
Investigation and Analysis of         and a half miles under the water        ported that, once the unarmed    that sprang up around al-Qaeda. villain arises, terrorist groups will
Aircraft Accidents revealed on        and the site of the search is more      Bin Laden was found, he nev-     Most experts are more skeptical have a harder time inspiring new
Sunday that the previously miss-      than 600 miles from the Brazilian       ertheless resisted capture and   that Bin Laden’s death will haverecruits. Especially in light of the
ing memory module from the            coast, it will take another 8 to 10     was then shot and                                                           atmosphere of social
data recorder of the late Air         days before the module can be           k il led. His body                                                          change, liberty and civil
France Flight 447 has been found.     examined in a lab in Paris.             was taken by U.S.                                                           freedoms in the Middle
It has been nearly two years since       If the data is intact, it will       forces, who pro-                                                            East, Bin Laden’s death
the plane crashed off the coast       reveal the last known position,         ceeded to evacuate                                                          comes at a time that
of Brazil. Investigators of both      speed, altitude, and direction of       the premises.                                                               lends the event to the
the French government and the         the plane. The other black box,            Already the CIA                                                          continuing collapse of
plane’s makers are eager to exam-     the cockpit voice recorder, has         has obtained hard                                                           the extremist, terrorist
ine the data that may be preserved    yet to be found. However, the           drives, video and                                                           narrative.
on this precious find.                data from this recorder is just as      other documents                                                                Economically, the
   On June 1, 2009, an Air France     crucial in shedding light to the        seized in the raid.                                                         economy saw a slight
Airbus A-330 plane hit high-alti-     mysterious and controversial               The body of the                                                          jump in the immediate
tude thunderstorms off the coast      circumstances surrounding the           a l- Qaed a leade r                                                         aftermath of Bin Laden’s
of Brazil while en route to Paris     crash of the flight.                    was buried at sea                                                           death. However, in gen-
from Rio de Janeiro. None of the         Indeed, the find comes at a          within 24 hours of                                                          eral, oil prices and the
228 members on board the flight       most opportune time for Airbus          his death, accord-                                                          global market have not
survived the crash. The plane’s       and Air France, the maker and           ing to Islamic law.                                                         reacted strongly to the
last known location was nearly        operator of the plane, respec-          Visual and DNA                                                              news.
600 miles off the coast of Brazil,    tively. Only last month, a French       confirmation of his                                                            O n t he A me r ic a n
making the search for the plane a     judge put both corporations under       identit y were at-                                                          domestic front, celebra-
nearly impossible task.               a formal investigation for cita-        tained prior to his                                                         tion has been the chief
   After three failed search at-      tions of involuntary manslaughter       burial.                                                                     response. The relief at
tempts, oceanographers finally        regarding the June 2009 incident.          The BBC report-                                                          the vanquishing of Bin
found the wreckage of the plane       The data from the recorder, if          ed Tuesd ay t hat                                                           Laden has also boosted
last month. Pieces of the plane       retrieved, will provide substan-        “No decision has                                                            views of Obama on his
lay strewn on the sandy floor of      tial evidence for or against the        yet been taken on                                                           foreign policy. Some
the sea around six miles from         corporations.                           whether to release                                                          spec ulate t hat Bi n
the last known coordinates. This         Currently, the only available        a photograph of Bin                                                         Laden’s death will help
was a crucial find and authorities    information regarding the flight        Laden’s body,” as                                                           Obama’s chances of re-
quickly sent down underwater          is automated messages from the          the image has been                                                          election.
drones in hopes of discovering        plane indicating a malfunction          called “gruesome”                                                              Whether or not that
the data recorders — the black        in the plane’s airspeed sensors.        a nd “i n f lam ma-                                                         turns out to be the case,
boxes — of the plane.                    In around a week’s time, the         tory.”                                                                      Obama and his admin-
   Last week oceanographers,          lab in Paris will hopefully reveal         Already, specu-                                                          istration will always
using the drone, stumbled upon        whether or not the data is retriev-     lation about the im-                                                        receive the honor of be-
the protective housing of the re-     able. The content of the informa-       pact of the terror-                                               aP Photo ing in the White House
corder but were not able to find      tion will most likely prove vital       ist icon’s death has Osama bin Laden, after eluding capture for nearly at the time of the death
the missing memory module. To         for the ongoing investigation.          been rampant. For 10 years, was located and killed by U.S. soldiers in      of the most wanted man
the delight of the search team,          But putting all the legal mess       the most part, the Abbottabab, Pakistan.                                    in the world.
however, they discovered the          aside, it will hopefully also bring     death is a symbolic                                                            Slowly, the memory
dislodged memory module this          to the family and friends of the        victory for those who oppose such a visible impact.              of Bin Laden is fading in this
Sunday. Jean-Paul Troadec, the        deceased a sense of peace and           terrorism. In terms of concrete  More realistically, some pre- country, though the memory of
director of the Bureau, called it a   a further understanding of the          effects internationally, a few sume that the absence of Bin the attacks he masterminded will
“very happy surprise.” The search     circumstances surrounding the           television personalities have Laden’s charismatic leadership live on for much longer.
for the data recorder was expected    victims’ death.                         suggested that this is a mas- will mean a decline in recruit-       Bin Laden was 54.

Jewish culture resilient against anti-Semitism                                                                   Taliban terrorism foreshadowed
                                                                                                                                                     him instantly.
                                      punching him in the head and     Trade, in an interview with a                By taylor VanderVeen                “These cowardly attacks on
     By Christine Bennett             stomach. Harassment by young     local radio station; or the Greek                   staff Writer              Afghan civilians demonstrate the
               staff Writer           Muslims in the Netherlands is    Melkite Archbishop at a Vatican                                               impotence of the Taliban,” said
                                      also so dominant that Jews there press conference, among many                 In response to the decla-        NATO spokesman and United
   One of the last German con-        avoid wearing traditional cloth- others.                                   ration that Sunday was the          States Navy Rear Adm. Harold
cent rat ion camps was liber-         ing or skullcaps. Several rabbis    “That such prominent figures           start of the Taliban’s spring       Pittman, “They will not achieve
ated this month over 60 years         even said that they may leave    can evoke such anti-Semitic ca-           offensive, Kabul police were        any lasting impact on the cam-
ago. One would hope that the          the country due to the continual nards is extremely disturbing and         standing guard at the major-        paign. They will only cause more
heart-breaking histor y                                                             worrying. Whereas            ity of intersections in the city,   pain to the Afghan people.”
of anti-Semitism was far                                                            many anti-Semites            meticulously watching pass-            The attacks have been con-
behind us, safe in t he                                                             are seen as extrem-          ersby and watching for signs        demned not only by NATO but by
folds of the past. But on                                                           ists who have little         of mischeif.                        Afghan president Hamid Karzai
Sunday, the day before                                                              following and remain            Kabul was safe, but other        as well, saying they are signs of
the Israeli Yom HaShoah,                                                            at the margins of so-        places around the nation were       the desperation of the Taliban
Holocaust Remembrance                                                               ciety, these ‘respect-       not so lucky. Several attacks       insurgents.
Day, t he Steven Rot h                                                              able a nt i- Sem ites’       occurred, killing civilians only       The Taliban claim, however,
Institute for the Study                                                             have power and their         a day after the Taliban claimed     that they are not to blame for the
of Contemporary Anti-                                                               message resonates            that “Strict attention must         most recent attack.
Sem itism and R acism                                                               amongst millions,”           be paid to the protection and          Their forces undoubtedly in-
p u bl i s h e d i t s a n n u a l                                                  he said. Free speech         safety of civilians”                creased after the Taliban led a
report, which revealed                                                              is definitely neces-            The street of a bazaar in the    mass jailbreak from Sar posa
that anti-Semitism was                                                              sary to a democratic         eastern Paktika province of         prison last week. A 1,050-foot
renewed and spreading.                                                              society, he agreed,          Afghanistan was victim to a         tunnel led 488 inmates to free-
   The research numbered                                                            but surely, there is         suicide bombing, killing four       dom. Prison officials including
acts of physical assault,                                                           also a “right to life        and wounding 14. The bomber         the warden were arrested and
vandalism or threats tar-                                                           and security,” which         is thought to have been a boy       are being questioned about any
geting Jewish people. The                                                           is now endangered            around the age of 12. Civilians     possible involvement in the es-
report listed 614 such in-                                                          by such hate speech          reported noticing him before        cape. Inmates at the prison were
cidents in the year 2010,                                                           against the Jews.            the explosion. He wasn’t one of     reportedly allowed to unlock
down from 1,129 such in-                                         WiKimedia Commons
                                                                                       Israeli Prime             the boys they recognized from       their cells to use the bathroom at
cidents in 2009. However,                                                           Minister Benjamin            the neighborhood.                   night, making it easier to stage
experts point out that the The Jewish community continues to celebrate              Netanyahu, said in              Three men and one woman          and escape.
peak in 2009 was mostly its liberation, even in the face of harassment, by          a cabinet meeting on         were killed in the attack, one of      Sar posa and other jails in
due to the Israeli military honoring the iconic symbols of their culture.           Sunday that “a re-           which was Shir Nawaz Khan,          Afghanistan have already un-
action in the Gaza strip                                                            newed anti-Semitism          head of the district council        dergone increases in security, but
that lasted from December 2008 harassment.                             is spreading.” He said that “vari-        in the Shkin area of Paktika        the sheer number of incoming in-
to January 2009, in which 1,400       Moshe Kantor, head of the ous forces are joining together                  Province. Some think he was         mates in recent years is stressing
Palestinians and 13 Israelis were Eu ropea n Jew ish Cong ress, and f looding the world with                     the desired target of the attack.   the capabilities of the institutions.
killed. Overall, the trend of anti- pointed out that anti-Semitism anti-Semitism. The hatred of the                 That same day in Ghazni          United States advisors are work-
Semitism has unquestionably was not only growing among Jews and the denial of their exis-                        City, Ghazni province, two          ing with Afghan correctional of-
been rising since the 1990s.        ordinary people. He cited the tence have turned into hatred of               police officers were killed in an   ficers about ways to keep security
   The repor t points out that rise of what he called “respect- the Jewish State and denial of its               explosion from a bomb-laden         levels high.
over 60 percent of the incidents able anti-Semitism,” that is, anti- existence.”                                 bicycle. One other civilian was        Since the jailbreak almost 80 of
happened in Britain, France Semitism, mostly in form of                   The Yom HaShoah, a day for             wounded in the explosion.           the escapees have been recaptured
and Canada. Britain was by far comments made by “prominent the remembrance of Holocaust                             In broad daylight in south-      and two killed.
the highest with 144 incidents, and respectable officials whose victims, started on Sunday eve-                  ern Afghanistan, another at-           Sunday not only marked a se-
while France and Canada had words are heard by millions on ning and lasted until Monday eve-                     tack was executed and the           ries of blows from the Taliban but
133 and 99 each. The repor t TV screens and the radio, in ning. At 10:00 a.m. on Monday                          assassins got away. According       a small success for NATO in the
quoted examples such as the at- newspapers and books and on morning, sirens sounded through-                     to Shir Shah Yusufzai, act-         capture of a Taliban leader, who
tack of a 14-year-old wearing a the Internet.” As examples, he out the city as everyone came to a                ing provincial police chief,        was responsible for several bomb-
skullcap in Paris. His attackers mentioned Karel De Gucht, the standstill for two minutes to pay                 men in a car shot an Afghan         ings, and two of his associates
called him a “dirty Jew” while European Commissioner for tribute to the dead.                                    National Army soldier, killing      found in southern Afghanistan.
22    SportS                                                                        C him es                                                                       May 6, 2011        May 6, 2011                                                                          C him es                                                                                 SportS 23

            2010-2011 SEASON                                                                                                                                                              ALL-CHIMES TEAM
                                                                                                                                                      photos courtesy of
                                                                                                                                                                      and jon behm

  1st Team Selections                                                               ALL                2nd Team Selections                                                                 Honorable Mention                                                               ALL                                 All-Career Team
REBECCA KAMP (VOLLEYBALL)                                                      C hi m e s            ANDY KRAFFT (M. SWIM AND DIVE)                                                   SARAH REASONER (W. TRACK AND FIELD)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  C hi m e s                          MELISSA OOSTERHOUSE (W. TENNIS)
    After being one of the best players in the nation during her sopho-
more year, junior Rebecca Kamp managed to take her play to a new
level. Kamp was ranked third in the nation in hitting percentage (0.431),         2010-11
                                                                                                         Bursting onto the scene this season, freshman Andy Krafft has al-
                                                                                                     ready left his own mark on the Venema Aquatic Center.
                                                                                                         Winning the majority of the matches in which he competed, Krafft
                                                                                                                                                                                          A cornerstone of the women’s track and field throwers, senior Sarah
                                                                                                                                                                                      Reasoner has quietly put together one of the best seasons in Calvin his-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      2010-11                             Melissa Oosterhouse is graduating as one of the best — if not the
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      best — women’s tennis players in Calvin history.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Oosterhouse is a four-time member of the All-MIAA first team and
sixth in blocks-per-set (1.37), 10th in points-per-set (5.25) and 23rd in                            quickly exerted his dominance in the MIAA and moved onto the national                                                                                        MOMENT OF THE
kills-per-set (4.06).                                                                                                                                                                     Competing at the NCAA D-III Indoor Championships, where she                                                 has won MVP honors in both her junior and senior years. In MIAA
                                                                                                     stage.                                                                                                                                                       YEAR
    In addition to being named the MIAA MVP for the second time in             All-Freshman              At the NCAA D-III Championships, Krafft was able to claim second
                                                                                                                                                                                      placed second with a personal best throw of 48-4 1/2 in the shot put,                                           competition in her four years, Oosterhouse has gone an unprecedented
her Calvin career (the first being her freshman season), Kamp received                                                                                                                Reasoner was able to grab All-American recognition, the fourth time she                                         29-3 at No. 1 singles.
                                                                                                     on the one-meter board before claiming third on the three-meter board in         has done so in her career.                                                                                          Oosterhouse is one of only 13 individuals in MIAA women’s tennis
a plethora of other awards, including being named to the All-MIAA first        ANDY KRAFFT           record breaking-fashion. Krafft’s dive of 551.40 shattered his own previ-                                                                                    VOLLEYBALL WINS
team, Great Lakes All-Region team and first team All-America. Addi-                                                                                                                       Reasoner did not slow down as the Knights entered the outdoor                                               history to be a four-time All-MIAA first team member, and the first
                                                                                                     ous school record of 526.80.                                                     season. She has dominated both the shot put and discus fields all season,   NCAA NATIONAL                       Calvin women’s tennis player to achieve the honor since Allison DeWys
tionally, Kamp was named the NCAA D-III national tournament MVP.               MEGAN RIETEMA             Krafft’s national meet performance was the best combined finish by a         including a win in both events at the MIAA Jamboree in mid-April.           CHAMPIONSHIP                        did it from 1995-1998.
                                                                               LINA AVILA            Calvin male diver since Bill VanEe at the 1985 NCAA D-III Champion-
RACHEL BOERNER (W. TRACK AND FIELD)                                            KYLE JASPERSE         ships.
                                                                               CARLIA CANTO
                                                                                                                                                                                      JESS HENDRICKSMA (M. GOLF)                                                                                      KEITH SPOELSTRA (BASEBALL)
    Closing out a terrific career at Calvin, senior Rachel Boerner won
                                                                                                                                                                                         As one of only two seniors on this season’s team, Jess Hendricksma       GAME OF THE YEAR
her second national title this season. Boerner was able to successfully                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Losing Keith Spoelstra is going to be a huge hit for the baseball
defend her 400m dash indoor national title, leading the race wire-to-wire
                                                                               JORDAN BRINK          JODI HOEKSTRA (W. CROSS-COUNTRY)                                                 was a major force in the Knights claiming their first-ever MIAA champi-                                         team. Not only will they be losing a team leader, but they will also be
                                                                               ASHTON HEARN              The women’s cross-country team had a huge hole to fill when Jess             onship. Hendricksma rarely finished below third-place on the team at
to win in a time of 55.75.
                                                                                                     Koster graduated last year. Junior Jodi Hoekstra stepped up her game             any given event; he even claimed first place Sept. 25 at Adrian.            WOMEN’S BASKET-                     losing their top pitcher and one of the best pitchers Calvin has seen in
    Boerner was able to claim the title despite running only the fifth fast-                                                                                                                                                                                      BALL MIAA CHAM-                     recent years.
est time in the prelims.                                                                             and more than successfully filled the hole.                                         Hendricksma completed his senior campaign with a strokes-per-                                                    Pending the results of this weekend, Spoelstra will leave the team
    Boerner has not slowed down in the outdoor season. At the MIAA             All-Sophomore             Finishing first at both the MIAA Championships and the MIAA                  event average of 74.5, good enough for second place individually in the     PIONSHIP GAME                       with a career record of 21-9 and an ERA of 4.54. In his four years he
Jamboree, Boerner was a workhorse for the team, winning the 400m                                     Jamboree, Hoekstra was named the MIAA MVP as well as receiving All-              MIAA. For his efforts, Hendricksma was rewarded with his first ever                                             pitched 17 complete games for a total of 198.0 innings. During those
                                                                                                     MIAA first team honors.                                                          All-MIAA selection. He was named to the first team.                         AGAINST HOPE
hurdles while also claiming second in the 100m dash and fourth in the                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 innings, Spoelstra struck out 137 batters.
100m hurdles. Additionally, she ran a leg of the winning 4x100 team            TOM SNIKKERS              At the regional meet, Hoekstra finished fourth with a time of 21:45.8
and third place 4x400 team.                                                    LIZZIE KAMP           to lead her team to victory. At the NCAA D-III National Championships,
                                                                                                     Hoekstra narrowly missed an All-America berth with her 43rd place fin-           TOM SNIKKERS (M. BASKETBALL)                                                MOST IMPROVED
                                                                               SAMANTHA KLAASEN      ish of 21:56.0.                                                                     With the graduation of seniors John Mantel and Matt Veltema, the
                                                                               CARISSA VERKAIK                                                                                        Knights needed someone to step up and shine. Sophomore Tom Snik-                                                SCOTT HOOKER (M. SOCCER)
NICK KRAMER (M. CROSS-COUNTRY)                                                                                                                                                        kers rose to the occasion and put together a solid second collegiate        TYLER VEGTER                            In his four years as a Calvin soccer player, Scott Hooker has been
    After taking on the star role for the cross-country team last season,      SHELBY MAST                                                                                                                                                                                                            one of the most well-recognized players on the team.
junior Nick Kramer did not slow down as he led the Knights to their            ELIZABETH COUNSELL    CARLY PRINS (W. SOCCER)                                                          season.                                                                     (M. SOCCER)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Hooker burst onto the scene his freshman season, scoring nine goals.
24th straight MIAA title as well as their 15th consecutive Great Lakes                                  Senior Carly Prins closed out a successful career with possibly her              Starting every game for the Knights, Snikkers averaged a team-lead-
                                                                               ALLY WOLFFIS                                                                                           ing 15.6 points-per-game and 6.7 rebounds per game. His 2.3 assists-                                            He complemented his goals with seven assists to give himself a point
regional title.                                                                                      best season to date. Prins led the Knights in goals and points with 12                                                                                                                           total of 25 for his freshman campaign. His numbers only got better in his
    Kramer placed first in both the MIAA Jamboree and MIAA Champi-                                   and 26, respectively. Of her 12 goals, three of them proved to be game-          per-game average was second on the team, while his 29 steals put him        COACH OF THE
                                                                                                                                                                                      on par with teammate Jordan Brink for the team lead.                                                            sophomore year, as he scored nine goals to go with 11 assists for a point
onship meet last fall en route to being named the MIAA Most Valuable                                 winners.                                                                                                                                                     YEAR                                total of 29.
Runner. Shortly after, Kramer clocked in with a first-place time of 24:57      All-Junior               For her efforts this season, Prins was named the MIAA MVP and re-                In MIAA competition, Snikkers was one of the best in the league. He
                                                                                                                                                                                      finished fifth in the conference for points-per-game, fourth in rebounds-                                           For his career, Hooker scored 27 goals and dished out 28 assists, giv-
at the NCAA Regional Final.                                                                          ceived a spot on the All-MIAA first team. More impressive, though, was                                                                                                                           ing him a career point total of 82. Of his 27 goals, seven of them proved
    At the NCAA D-III National Championships, Kramer finished 16th                                   Prins’ inclusion on the inaugural All-America third team.           per-game and ninth in free-throw percentage. His efforts were enough to     AMBER WARNERS
                                                                               REBECCA KAMP                                                                                           earn him first team All-MIAA honors, the first time he has received the                                         to be game-winners.
with a time of 24:41.1, which earned him All-American honors.                                                                                                                                                                                                     (VOLLEYBALL)                            In MIAA play, Hooker was often recognized. He was named to
                                                                               NICK KRAMER                                                                                            honor in his career.
                                                                                                     MEGAN RIETEMA (VOLLEYBALL)                                                                                                                                                                       the All-MIAA first team three times in his collegiate career, as well as
CARISSA VERKAIK (W. BASKETBALL)                                                JODI HOEKSTRA             Freshman Megan Rietema was a major reason that the Knights were                                                                                                                              receiving numerous “Player of the Week” honors.
    After bursting onto the scene last season as a freshman, sophomore         JILL THOMAS           able to become the NCAA D-III Volleyball National Champions. Not                 PETER STEINER (BASEBALL)
                                                                                                     only did she score the championship-winning point, but she was the top               Senior Peter Steiner put together one of the best seasons in recent
Carissa Verkaik returned with an even more impressive second season.           TYLER VEGTER          freshman in the nation, winning the AVCA D-III Freshman of the Year.             Calvin baseball history. Not only did he see his fair share of success on                                       CARLY PRINS (W. SOCCER)
    Leading the team in nearly every statistical category, Verkaik im-                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Capping what can only be described as a phenomenal career, Carly
proved upon her fantastic stats from last year en route to defending her       ERIN VANDER PLAS          On the season, Rietema was 21st in the nation in assists-per-set with        the mound, but he also was dominant at the plate while setting records
                                                                                                                                                                                      on the basepaths.                                                                                               Prins did not disappoint. While her assists were down from previous
MIAA MVP. Verkaik started all 30 games for the Knights and amassed             MARIE PRINS           an average of 10.53. She also ranked nationally in blocks-per-set, finish-                                                                                                                       seasons, she set career highs in goals (12) and points (26) on the way
285 rebounds (9.5 per game) and 123 blocks (4.1 per game) while scor-                                ing 30th with an average of 1.14.                                                    With four more games remaining in the regular season, Steiner sits
                                                                                                                                                                                      second on the team in wins with a 4-3 record. His 3.00 ERA paces the                                            to being named the MIAA MVP. Also, she was named to the All-MIAA
ing 595 for an MIAA-leading 19.8 points per game. In a game against                                      In MIAA play, Rietema exercised her dominance all season long and                                                                                                                            first team for the fourth consecutive season.
Trine on Feb 19, Verkaik finished the game with an even 1,000 points           All-Senior            was rewarded by being named to the MIAA first-team as well as receiv-            team and his four complete games places him second on the Knight
                                                                                                                                                                                      roster.                                                                                                             Prins took Calvin by surprise in her freshman year when she ex-
for her career, making her the fastest women’s basketball player in Cal-                             ing Freshman of the Year honors.                                                                                                                                                                 ploded onto the scene for 11 goals and three assists
vin history to reach the milestone.                                                                      One final unique honor was bestowed upon Rietema. During the                     At the plate, Steiner has been lights out, batting .345 with 22 runs
                                                                                                                                                                                      and a team-leading 23 RBIs. His three home runs paces the team, as                                                  For her career, Prins scored a total of 39 goals while dishing out 18
    In addition, Verkaik was named the Great Lakes                 MELISSA OOSTERHOUSE   team’s post-season run, the NCAA ran a feature story on its website                                                                                                       photo by danny reise
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      assists for a total of 96 points. Of her 39 goals, 12 proved to be game
                                                                                                     about Rietema.                                                                   does his .536 slugging percentage. Additionally, Steiner’s 18 stolen           “I think it is safe to say
Region Player of the Year while also landing a spot on the         RACHEL BOERNER                                                                                         bases set a new single-season record for Calvin.                            that Coach Warners has had          winners.
Great Lakes All-Region first team for the second time in her career.           CARLY PRINS                                                                                                                                                                        one of the greatest impacts
                                                                               PETER STEINER         ELIZABETH COUNSELL (W. SWIM AND DIVE)                                                                                                                        on my life here at Calvin.          RACHEL BOERNER (W. TRACK AND FIELD)
MELISSA OOSTERHOUSE (W. TENNIS)                                                                          In only her second collegiate season, sophomore Elizabeth Counsell           SCOTT HOOKER (M. SOCCER)                                                    We have become very close
                                                                               RYAN BRATT            has already proven herself to be one of the best swimmers in the nation.             In his final season as a Knight, senior Scott Hooker performed admi-    because she is an amazing
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Rachel Boerner may just be the greatest female track and field ath-
    Senior Melissa Oosterhouse has been a force for her entire collegiate                                                                                                                                                                                                                             lete to come through the program.
tennis career, and this season was no exception.                               SARAH REASONER            After dominating the MIAA en route to being named the MVP,                   rably.                                                                      person. Coach really takes
                                                                                                                                                                                          Hooker was second on the Knight squad in total points at 14. He                                                 Boerner leaves Calvin holding multiple school records, as well as a
    Oosterhouse was able to go a perfect 8-0 in MIAA dual match                SCOTT HOOKER          Counsell continued to demonstrate her dominance as she was one of                                                                                            an interest in the lives of her     legacy that will never be forgotten.
competition this season. Additionally, she teamed up with fellow senior                              two female members of the swimming and diving team to travel to the              scored four goals, three of which were game winners, and paced the          players and all of the lives
                                                                                                                                                                                      team in assists with six. He was also a perfect three-for-three on PKs.                                             In her junior year, Boerner became the first ever track and field
Kaitlin Spoelhof to sweep thought the league in doubles play to an 8-0                               NCAA D-III Championships.                                                                                                                                    her players are involved in.        athlete to win an NCAA D-III indoor championship, doing so in the
record.                                                                                                  At the Championships, Counsell claimed 16th and an All-America                   Hooker’s true impact for the Knights was not shown on paper,            She cares about the women
                                                                                                                                                                                      though. Hooker was a leader in the Knight locker room and a major                                               400m. She defended that title this season, becoming a two-time National
    For her efforts, Oosterhouse was named the MIAA MVP as well as                                   honorable mention in the 100 breaststroke. However, her true shining                                                                                         we become and our faith             Champion.
being named to the All-MIAA first team. She was also named the recipi-                               moment came in the 200 breaststroke, where she broke her own school              force in controlling the pace and tone of the game.                         is a top priority. She is an
                                                                                                                                                                                          In MIAA competition, Hooker tied for ninth in points while pacing                                               After dominating the nation, the MIAA seemed a mere afterthought
ent of the MIAA’s Karen Caine Scholar-Athlete Award. Oosterhouse is                                  record in the morning prelims with a time of 2:19.56. She would go on                                                                                        amazing coach, and I truly          for Boerner, as she dominated her competition in various MIAA meets.
the second individual from Calvin to receive the award, with Calvin’s                                to claim seventh in the finals with a time of 2:30.61. The time was good         the league in assists. Additionally, his three game-winning goals put him   agree that she deserves this
                                                                                                                                                                                      in a third place tie in the MIAA. Hooker was named to the All-MIAA                                              She was named the MIAA MVP last season for her efforts.
Rachel Strikwerda winning it in 2010.                                                                enough to give her All-American honors.                                                                                                                      award!”
                                                                                                                                                                                      first team for his efforts this season.                                              —Kim Wigboldy
         Sport S       “
                                                                                                        That toughness is what will stay with me the longest, long past the wins and

                                                                                                        losses and goals.            -Elaine Schnabel, “Schnabel reflects,” p. 26

Ultimate team gains momentum Rugby pounds Hope
                                      winning three tournaments along              a week and frequently plays tour-
       By mark ZylSTra                the way. The team won the eight-             naments on weekends throughout                                              own and sacrificed our bodies.”
            Staff Writer              team CMU invite and the seven-               the Midwest. They play in both                By luke leiSman                   This season’s results have
                                      team Kettering tourney. The                  the fall and spring, with the                    Staff Writer               promise of even better things to
   This season has been a banner highlight of the season, though,                  spring being the main college                                               come. The rugby team is growing
year for many of Calvin’s sports was undoubtedly Calvin’s victory                  season, including Regionals and           Who would’a thunk it? With        in membership, and has many
teams. The fall season was es- at Huckfest, one of the largest and                 Nationals.                             a 24-5 thumping of Hope, the         young players.
pecially exciting as Calvin took most popular ultimate tourna-                        The ultimate team competes          Calvin rugby team concluded              “This season I realized our
home five MIAA championships ments in all of Michigan.                             against college and club teams         its fourth season as an official     limitless potential and the bond
and a national title in women’s          Held t he last Sat u rd ay i n            from around the Midwest. They          club sport at Calvin.                between brothers on the field,”
volleyball. While all this was October every year, Calvin had                      compete favorably against the             A far cry from looking like       said Lee. “This season has been
going on, though, another one taken second each of the last four                   likes of Hope, Grand Valley,           a team in adolescence graduat-       great; we have a lot of freshman
of Calvin’s lesser-known sports years until Huckfest 2010 came                     Wester n M ich iga n, Ea ster n        ing its first group of four-year     and sophomores who will lead
teams had a banner year: the around. Calvin would not be                           Michigan and Central Michigan.         off icial club members, the          the team.”
ultimate Frisbee team.                denied the Huckfest title a fifth            Calvin also faces off against          Calvin Rugby Union looks like            Part of the promise is the sup-
   Yes, we have a real Frisbee time. They went 6-0 on the day                      Michigan State and Michigan on         an established, mature club          port the Knights receive from
team here at Calvin, and it just and defeated one of the top club                  a regular basis, two of the top D-I    capable of competing with just       their alumni and their coach.
so happens they are pretty good. teams in the area — who were                      teams in the nation. They played       about anyone.                        Calvin is coached by Simon
Ultimate is a sport that places the defending champs — in the                      in six different tournaments last         “Since 2007, when I started,      Bennett, a former member of the
teamwork as a top priority, along championship game.                               fall, traveling as far as Appleton,    I couldn’t imagine how far           Grand Rapids Gazelles (dubbed
with athleticism and endurance.          The game was an epic back-                Wisc. They competed in f ive           we went,” said senior captain        by the Grand Rapids Press “the
The sport is one of the fastest- and-forth battle in which Calvin                  more tournaments this spring,          Daniel Lee. “Last year we            bedrock of local rugby”) and the
growing in the country, and club ended up winning the game on                      including two in Illinois, one at      went to the Midwest tour-            Spoelhof Fieldhouse Complex
teams and st udent-led teams winner-take-all, also k nown                          Hope, one at CMU and one at            nament in our division and           manager.
abound on college campuses as “universe,” point. Winning                           Kalamazoo.                             placed fifth… This year we               “Coach Simon has been coach-
across the nation.                    Huckfest was one of Calvin’s top                The team defended their title at    brought [past] themes [of team       ing us for about a year and shows
   Last fall, Calvin’s team had its goals of the fall season, and they             the annual Hope tournament by          unity and sacrifice] together        us how to play quality rugby and
most successful season in many were extremely thrilled to pull                     winning all four of their games.       and really focused on meeting        lead each other,” said Lee. “This
years. The team went 27-3 overall, it off.                                         They defeated the hosts in the         our potential, which means           is a growing organization with a
                                                                  Calvin           tournament final by a 13-5 count,      sacrificing time for practice        lot of resources and potential to
                                                              Ultimate is          ripping off 10 straight points to      and working out. We united           win and go to Nationals in the
                                                              a st udent           close the game.                        outside of practice and games        upcoming years. Not through
                                                              organiza-               Calvin concluded its season         to become brothers on and off        scholarships or recruiting, but
                                                              tion that has        last weekend at the Great Lakes        the field.”                          hard work and unity.”
                                                              been around          Regional in Rockford, Ill. They           This season was another               Still, the heart and soul of the
                                                              since the            placed a solid fourth in the tour-     successful one for the Knights.      rugby team is its fan base.
                                                              start of the         nament after losing an extremely          “We started strong last fall          “Rugby fans are absolutely the
                                                              decade.              exciting game by just two points       with great numbers and a lot of      backbone and love of the team,”
                                                              T here wa s          to the top-ranked team in the          indoor practices in the winter,      said Lee.
                                                              also a team          region, Rose Hulman.                   so we are a growing team,”               While many fans are not fully
                                                              at Calvin               Calvin Ultimate is led this         said Lee.                            acquainted with the rules, they
                                                              back in the          year by seniors David Danks,              Calvin dove into the spring       still enjoy watching this strange
                                                              1970s, but it        Dan Roelofs and Matt Slater, and       schedule, going 6-2 this spring,     mix of a sport, which Lee de-
                                                              died out un-         juniors Mike Zaagman and Trent         including three definitive wins      scribes as “no pads with an oval
                                                              til the recent       Stensrud. The team is completely       at Ruck City on April 9 to take      ball and a mix of football and
                               phoTo CourTeSy of mark ZylSTra revival. The         student-led and seeks to play re-      home the Ruck City champion-         soccer. A great quote is ‘Soccer
                                                              team usual-          ally competitive ultimate while        ship. Calvin demolished Ferris       is a gentleman sport played by
Calvin’s Ultimate Frisbee team is one of the most ly practices                     still having a ton of fun and keep-    State in the final game, their       hooligans and rugby is a hooligan
unheralded club teams that Calvin offers.                     three times          ing sportsmanship at a high level.     second win over the Bulldogs         sport played by gentlemen.’”
                                                                                                                          this spring, and a sweet re-             The rugby team encourages
Lacrosse teams aim for varsity status                                                                                     venge factor after losing to
                                                                                                                          them in the fall. After Ruck
                                                                                                                                                               participation, even by those new
                                                                                                                                                               to the sport.
                                                                                                                          City, Calvin fell to Davenport           “All students should feel free
                                       due in large part to the efforts            the team took to Minnesota for a       on April 15, but Lee counted         to play rugby or try it out if they
         By Tim Clover                 of upperclassmen, Meindertsma               pair of games.                         the Knights efforts against          want to,” said Lee. “I personally
            Staff Writer               said. He stated, “There was a real              “The trip really made us all       them a success.                      walked into Calvin College in
                                       openness from the older guys;               come together, and we won a               “The highlight of this sea-       2007 without playing any rugby
   Success cannot always be de-        they took the time and bonded               game to boot. We also played in        son was playing Davenport            and by 2011 I am captain. Calvin
fined in terms of wins and losses.     with you.”                                  four inches of snow, which was         B-side,” he said. “Davenport         rugby is an accepting team that
Such was the story of the men’s           The Knights were lead this               pretty wild,” he said.                 is a scholarship team that runs      allows all to play, as long as
lacrosse team’s season. Although       season by seniors Dan Tiersma                   Additionally, the offense really   Michigan and the Midwest.            they’re able to practice hard,
the team was bested by rival           and Eric Kamstra, junior Reid               started to pick up for the Knights     Their B-side team blew out           work-out outside of rugby and
Hope and was unable to qualify         Veenstra and sophomore Adam                 in Minnesota, powering them            Ferris 68-5 and beat Saginaw         be willing to give themselves to
for the national tournament, the       Wiersma. These players set the              past St. Olaf’s.                       43-5. We held them to 5-0 us in      the team. ”
team was successful in building        tone for the season with their hard             As for next season, the team       the first half and at the end it         Most importantly, rugby is a
strong relationships and laying        work and dedication and were                hopes to attain varsity status,        was 24-5, Davenport winning.         club sport that extends beyond the
the groundwork for the future of       instrumental in making the team             something that was supposed to         Still, in my eyes it was a win for   field. The players know that there
the program.                           competitive.                                happen this year but didn’t come       Calvin College because of the        is something special about rugby.
   The team made several strides          This season, the team set out            to fruition. Because of Title IX re-   tough battles.”                          “Its rugby culture to give all
this season, forming a strong          to qualify for the national tour-           strictions, which require an equal        The Knights’ only other loss      you can on the field and after
bond that defined their season.        nament, and although they were              number of men’s and women’s            on the year was a hard-fought        the game hangout and eat a meal
   “We had great team chem-            unable to meet that goal, they              varsity sports, the team was not       7- 0 defeat to Saginaw that          together [with your opponents].
istry this season. It was like a       took away several great memo-               awarded varsity status. However,       could have gone either way.          I find that to be absolutely awe-
family,” said midfielder Trevor        ries from the year. One high-               it is on the docket for next season,      Calvin ended the spring           some that a contact sport between
Meindertsma.                           light in particular stood out for           and the players are confident it       season with a win against            two teams can be rugby brothers
   The closeness of the team was       Meindertsma: the weekend trip               will happen soon.                      Hope last Saturday in a match        after a game,” said Lee. “Calvin
                                                                                       Along with achieving varsity       highlighted by a great try score     College rugby was very important
                                                                                   status, the team aims to be com-       by Joe Hirte and fantastic mid-      to my college career, and I hope
                                                                                   petitive once again and quali-         field play by back Ryan Bode.        as an alumni I can watch the next
                                                                                   fy for the national tournament            Said Lee, “Although it was        classes to grow and value the
                                                                                   as they did in 2005 and 2006.          a bit slower pace, we held our       experiences I had.”
                                                                                   Committing to the program will
                                                                                   be key, and hard work will also
                                                                                   be a big factor if the team is to
                                                                                   accomplish their goals.
                                                                                       “We’ll come back in the winter
                                                                                   and set foot in the TNT and get
                                                                                   ready to go, ’cause without dedi-
                                                                                   cation, no team can achieve their
                                                                                   goals,” Meindertsma said.
                                                                                       The team made strides this
                                                                                   year by competing with top-
                                                                                   f light teams and giving them a
                                                                                   run for their money. They also
                                                                                   grew mentally, becoming more
                                                                                   disciplined and fighting through
                                                                                   tough stretches.
                                                                                       “We learned how to keep it
                                                                                   cool in times of adversity and
                                                                                   tough losses,” Meindertsma said.
                                                                                       With the majority of the roster
                                                                                   returning for next season and
                                                                                   good habits engrained in their
                                          phoTo CourTeSy of Calvin laCroSSe Team   minds, the Knights lacrosse team                                               phoTo CourTeSy of Calvin rugBy union

Calvin’s lacrosse team qualified for the national tournament                       looks to build off this past season    In only four years, the Calvin Rugby Union has become one
twice in the team’s history (2005 and 2006).                                       and rise to prominence next year.      of the best club teams at Calvin.
May 6, 2011                                                                                 C him eS                                                                                   SportS 25

                                                                                  Men’s volleyball gains experience
                                                                                                                           Men’s volleyball plays more at      Brenton Eelkema. Cornerstone
                                                                                          By JeSS koSTer                the net than women’s volleyball.       and Adrian are both starting
                                                                                             Staff Writer               Officials are not big fans of the      teams for next year.
                                                                                                                        men’s game because it is hard to          The highlight of the team’s
                                                                                     The men’s club volleyball          determine who got a hand on the        season was its tournament at
                                                                                  team is a little known but long       ball last with this style of play.     Michigan State. They struggled
                                                                                  standing tradition at Calvin.            The team struggled finding          in the first two games. However,
                                                                                  While there is not a team ev-         practice time t his year wit h         they found a way to win when it
                                                                                  ery year, some members of             most of the team having school         counted and won three games.
                                           baseball                               Calvin’s faculty were on the
                                                                                  team twenty years ago.
                                                                                                                        and work conf licts. With only
                                                                                                                        one player graduating this year,
                                                                                                                                                               “It was a relief to finish 3-3 for
                                                                                                                                                               the tournament,” states Eelkema.
                                                                                     There are only two notable         though, the team should be solid          Last year was the first year that
                                                                                  differences bet ween men’s            for next season.                       Calvin has ever hosted a men’s
                                                                                  and women’s volleyball. The              The best local competition          club volleyball game. The team
                                                                                  first difference is net height;       in men’s volleyball is at Grand        lost to Grand Rapids Community
                                                                                  the men’s net is higher than          Valley; Michigan State is the team     College. The volleyball team

Steiner sets records                                                              women’s. The other is net vio-
                                                                                  lations. While net violation is
                                                                                  called strictly in women’s vol-
                                                                                  leyball, in men’s volleyball, it is
                                                                                                                        to beat in Michigan. “Over the
                                                                                                                        past four years, we have [beaten]
                                                                                                                        four of the five teams. The only
                                                                                                                        one left is their first team, which
                                                                                                                                                               competes in many tournaments
                                                                                                                                                               and in recent years, has made
                                                                                                                                                               it to the quarterfinals at those
                                        only five hits. He is currently 2-3       only called if it interferes with     has, by far, the most [experienced]       The team finished this year
          By JeSS koSTer                on the season.                            the play of the ball.                 players,” says the sole senior         with a record of 5-5.
            Staff Writer                   In the second game, Calvin led

   Calvin’s baseball team split
their series with Trine last week-
                                        the entire way until Trine’s bats
                                        warmed up in the sixth.
                                           Junior Scott Tipton hit a dou-
                                                                                  Calvin crew strives for recognition
end in four very close games, all       ble in the second and advanced                                                  terminology that is going to help      main job of these people is to put a
of which were played at Calvin          to third on a sacrifice bunt by                  By JoSh yonker                 us understand how crew works.          lot of force into their rows, as their
due to the wet field conditions         sophomore Tyler Tos. Freshman                        Staff Writer               To start, there’s the bow and the      rows will have very little effect on
down in Angola, Indiana. The            Kyle Spoelma came up to bat and                                                 stern. The bow is the front of the     the boats direction and more on
teams each scored 18 runs over          hit a single to center field bringing        A lthough Calvin’s crew            boat from a spectator’s view and       the speed of the boat.
the course of the series with each      in Tipton. Trine countered this           team has been around now for          the back from a rower’s view. The         The next two people in the boat
game coming down to a one run           single run attack with one of their       six years, it is still one of the     stern is the opposite.                 are referred to as the boat pair.
margin.                                 own in the bottom of the inning.          least known sports teams here            In crew, there are usually eight    These two rowers are responsible
   On Friday, the Knights won              The Knights opened the game            at Calvin.                            people in a boat. Each person          for the stability of the boat.
5-4 in the first game. It was a nail-   up with four runs in the fourth.             What is crew? Crew is a type       has a special duty based on their         The final position in the boat
biter of a game with the Knights        Tipton and Tos started the in-            of competitive rowing where           position.                              is the coxswain. This person sits
and the Thunder bat ting for            ning with walks. Tipton then              the rowers sit in a boat and             The person closest to the stern     at the stern of the boat and does
position. Eventually the Knights        went on to steal third. Spoelma           paddle simultaneously as fast         (back of the boat from the spec-       not row at all. The main job of
gained momentum off a three-run         singled to left bringing in Tipton.       as they can. Rowing is a great        tator’s view) is usually called the    the coxswain is to steer the boat
third inning.                           Sophomore Drew Vos then bunt-             sport that can be used to help        stroke. This person controls the       and let the team know how they
   The Thunder proved they were         ed but made it to first on an error       you stay in shape as it works         pace the crew rows as everyone         are doing.
not ready to give up, gaining a run     by the pitcher, scoring Tos.              on all of your major muscle           follows his lead. The next person         Competitions for rowing are
in the seventh. With the tying run         Junior Jake VanAlten tried his         groups and also requires a ton        is the stroke’s man, who follows       similar to track competitions
on third, sophomore third base-         hand at bunting but the pitcher           of stamina. Also, crew is a low       the stroke’s lead. This position       where there is a set distance for
man Ben Cok, managed to snag            managed to field this one, throw-         impact sport, so major injuries       is important as most rowers fol-       each team to travel, and the team
a ball hit up the line and hurl it      ing to first allowing Spoelma to          are rare as the most common           low the oars on their side, and        that crosses the line first wins.
home where freshman catcher             score. Steiner came to the plate          injuries are inflation in joints.     since oars alternate every other,         If joining the crew team sounds
Trent Zwiers was able to tag the        and hit a single to right field           Therefore, no matter your             rowers on the stroke man’s side        like something you may be in-
runner out.                             bringing in Vos for the final run         injury history, there is still a      follow him.                            terested in, check out the team
   Senior pitcher Keith Spoelstra       of the game for the Knights.              place on crew for you.                   The next four rowers are re-        website at http://clubs.calvin.
pitched the entire game to im-             The Thunder countered this                To start, let’s learn some         ferred to as the middle men. The       edu/crew/ for information.
prove his record to 6-2.                four run attack with a run in

                                                                                  Thoughts from Behm’s brain
   I n t he s e c o nd g a me, t he     the fourth. They then put their
Knights struggled to connect            rally-caps on in the sixth and
with the ball and the Thunder           scored four runs of their own
gained a seven run lead. Calvin         giving them the 6-5 win over the
rallied back though, and scored
five runs in the fifth inning, three
                                        Knights. Senior Jeff Groenewold
                                        was given the loss for his pitching       Sports editor Jon Behm leaves his parting thoughts for Calvin
coming off Cok’s homerun to left        effort in Saturday’s game.
center field.                              Of note on the weekend is                                                    be done about them if the NBA          I see a non-losing season ahead
                                                                                           By Jon Behm                  hopes to keep the interest of fans.    of them this year. That is, if there
   Senior Peter Steiner stole four      that Steiner stole the top spot in
bases to tie Calvin’s single season     Calvin’s single season stolen base                  Sports editor               Best-of-seven series drag on too       is a season.
stolen base record. Steiner, also       record. This record, previously                                                 long, as there are too many off           4. Being from Cleveland, I rare-
the pitcher of this game, struck        at 14, has stood since 1987. It has           Well, Calvin, here we have        days between games.                    ly get to gloat about my teams.
out three in his four innings but       been tied twice, most recently            it: My final thoughts. This is           2. So, I predicted that Calvin      They all blow. Period. End of
the Thunder’s bats were on fire         by Josh Vriesman in 2004. After           the last time that you will ever      would win 10 MIAA champion-            argument. So, the fact that the
and could not be put out.               Saturday, Steiner sits at 16 stolen       get to read my rants (until I         ships this season. It looks like       Indians are pacing the MLB right
   On Saturday, the Knights won         bases this year with six games left.      start working for ESPN, that          they will fall a bit short. However,   now deserves mention.
the first game 2-1. Calvin’s runs          After the four game series with        is). So, for your reading enjoy-      that is in no way a failure.              5. Good luck to the men’s and
came from senior Andrew Bosma           Trine, Calvin has 19-15 record            ment, here is the final edition          We were able to win a national      women’s track and field teams
and sophomore Mike Fuller in the        over all and a 14-10 record in the        of “Thoughts from Behm’s              championship this season as well       this weekend as they try to wrap-
fourth and fifth innings. Trine         MIAA.                                     brain.”                               as send a number of teams to the       up the MIAA championships.
tried to mount a comeback in the           They have four conference                  1. The NBA playoffs could         various NCAA tournaments.              You guys have the talent to do it.
seventh but only managed one            games left against Alma this              be one of the most boring             That, my friends, is a successful         6. Finally, for the very final
run. Junior Joe Lambers pitched         weekend and currently sit in third        things ever to exist. They drag       year.                                  time, let me remind everyone that
the complete game win allowing          place in the MIAA.                        on forever. Something needs to           3. The Lions had a great draft.     LeBron James is a mountebank.

Softball crashes, burns in season finale
                                        work, surrendering seven earned         runs to avoid the mercy rule.           hits with two
        By JoSh yonker                  runs.                                      Senior Sass VanRooyen led off        strikeouts —
            Staff Writer                   Mast then retook the mound           the inning with a double, followed      but it wasn’t
                                        and pitched the next 3.1 innings,       by a pop out by freshman Becca          enough as
   The Calvin College softball          surrendering six runs of her own.       Jarvis and a single by freshman         Mast still re-
team had a busy weekend, play-          This led to the mercy rule coming       Shelby Sheehan. Senior Heather          ceived a loss.
ing two doubleheaders on Friday         into effect, resulting in Calvin los-   Sanderson then drew a walk,                 Calvin’s of-
and Saturday. Unfortunately for         ing 13-0, and their season record       loading the bases for the Knights       fense couldn’t
the Knights, the results were not       falling to 6-26 (4-10 MIAA).            with one out.                           get star ted,
what they had hoped for.                   Calvin hoped to turn things             Junior Marie Prins then came         h av i n g o n ly
   On Friday, the Knights faced         a rou nd on Sat u rd ay, fac i ng       to the plate, looking to knock in       t wo h i t s a l l
conference foe Trine.                   Saint Mary’s College at home.           a run or two.                           game, and
   Game one saw sophomore               Unfortunately, this did not hap-           Prins grounded out to first, but     fel l to Sa i nt
Shelby Mast, who pitched well           pen.                                    a run did score, making it 12-1         Mary’s 2-1.
through five, take the mound.              Game one saw Shelby Mast             with runners on second and third            T his game
However, the bottom of the sixth        once again take the mound. Mast         with two outs.                          concluded the
turned out to be the downfall           pitched a scoreless first inning,          Sophomore Ashley Oosterink           Knights’ sea-
for Mast and the Knights as the         but it all went downhill from           then came to the plate and hit a        son. Calvi n
Thunder drove in four runs to           there.                                  weak ground out to the catcher,         f i n i she d t he
take a 4-0 lead. This score would          Saint Mary’s struck for seven        ending the game in a 12-1 mercy         yea r w it h a
hold up as the final.                   in the second, two in the third and     rule.                                   6-28 overall re-
   Things didn’t get much better        three more in the fifth, taking a          Game two of the doubleheader         cord and a 4-12
                                                                                                                                                                    phoTo CourTeSy of
for the Knights in game two.            12-0 lead heading into the home         once again featured Mast on the         MIAA mark, a
   Freshman Lina Avila took the         half of the fifth.                      mound for the Knights.                  distinct drop-     With their season complete, the Knights ended
mound for the Knights, but was             Calvin, determined to keep the          Mast pitched a great game —          of f f rom last their season with a 6-28 overall record and a
chased out after just 1.2 innings of    game going, looked to score a few       only allowing two runs on seven         season.            4-12 MIAA mark.
26   SportS                                                                             C him es                                                                                    May 6, 2011

 ATHLETE in F cus                                                            Ballin’: Schnabel reflects             starter butt with the politest smile     strategy of pack the box and pray)
                                                                              Continued from page 1                 you’d ever seen.                         and Olivet (guaranteed to be a
 Boerner stays step ahead                                                   time. But the games, practices and
                                                                                                                       Bo, with a hard and accurate
                                                                                                                    enough free kick to give a girl in
                                                                                                                                                             game of brute strength and little
                                                                                                                                                             beauty) — maybe on those days
                                                                            years slid past me. Slowly I began      the wall a concussion in revenge         practices dragged. Sometimes
                                                                            to realize that playing time was a      for attacking Bergie.                    Coach Recker’s drills are a little
                                                                            mere gateway to something much             Sarah, Taylor and Heidi, danc-        repetitive (back-to-back goals,
                                                                            bigger.                                 ing on the treadmills. Emily’s           anyone?). And sometimes it’s not
                                                                               My favorite part of a game is        perfect passes and Carly’s text-         all that fun to have Coach Kim
                                                                            after someone else on my team           book headers. Franny’s beauti-           frown even harder than usual
                                                                            has scored. Preferably on some-         ful, game-winning goal against           and say simply, “You need to do
                                                                            one else’s assist and someone           Wheaton — the first and only             better.”
                                                                            else’s set up. My favorite part is      time we beat them in my four                But we were all struggling
                                                                            after the celebration when we’re        years.                                   through homework, injuries, and
                                                                            all glowing with the knowledge             Together, we fought through           Coach Kim’s frowns. It’s those
                                                                            that we — not just me, not just         injury — black eyes from U of C,         moments, like af ter the 95th
                                                                            Leah, not just Kellie — beat            bruised ribs from Alma, broken           juggle was dropped, when we
                                                                            Hope (or Albion or Kalamazoo).          feet from each other, sprained           were strongest. I love and hate the
                                                                            My favorite part is when I was          ankles and unnumbered con-               memory of that brittle frustration,
                                                                            exactly where I was supposed to         cussions. We weathered heart-            as the last girl dragged on a pair of
                                                                            be — weak post, probably, or run-       breaking losses in overtime and          sweats, all of us finally buckling
                                                                            ning interference — and Jill slams      shoot-outs.                              down to the realization that there
                                                                            one into the back of the net off of        We spent two-and-a-half hours         would be only be cold wind and
                                                                            a near-post cross. Or Ribs slots it     this past October shoulder-to-           clinical touches that practice. It
                                                                            in off a breakaway.                     shoulder in a team juggling circle.      was brutal, but it was shared.
                                             PHOtO COurtesy Of CaLVin.eDu
                                                                               I got so much more than play-        Together, we all died a little inside       That togetherness is what will
 Boerner has had a number of outstanding performances                       ing time.                               when we dropped the ball after           stay with me the longest, long past
 this season, leading to another All-American honor.                           I got Kayla, our keeper, coming      94 juggles, just 6 shy of coach’s        the wins and losses and goals.
                                                                            out on a breakaway and making           demands. (Team juggling, it              We always circled up: sometimes
                                     would be a disappointing               not one, not two but three con-         happens, is much harder than             crying in the blazing heat after a
       By mark ZyLstra               time for the four-time NCAA                                                    individual juggling.)                    shoot-out loss, sometimes grin-
                                                                            secutive and amazing cat-like
           staff Writer              champ, who ran 54.50 at last           saves in 10 frantic seconds.               Maybe during the middle of            ning harder than light from a
                                     year’s outdoor championships.             And Rebecca — a freshman             the semester — when tests and            brilliant comeback, sometimes
     It all started for Calvin se-   Boerner also owns a sub-60             — cleanly slide-tackling me in          papers were piling up behind long        stiffly juggling for two and a half
 nior sprinter/hurdler Rachel        second time in the 400 hurdles,        practice, completely taking me          bus rides and we only got to play        hours in silence. Together, it was
 Boerner one day when she was        as she ran 59.80 last year, and        by surprise and kicking my senior       teams like Saint Mary’s (with a          our time to play.
 still just three years old. On      will be looking to best that
 that day, young Rachel went
 out with her sisters to a nearby
 track and ran behind them as
                                     time down the stretch of this
                                         Boerner has certainly es-
                                                                            Men’s tennis falls in MIAA finals
 they did their workout. She         tablished herself in the Calvin        Knights fail to break Kalamazoo’s 74-year MIAA championship reign
 hasn’t stopped running work-        track and field record books.
                                                                                    By Luke Leisman                  “I’m proud of our No. 2
 outs; she has stopped running       Last year, she won the first
 from behind.                        ever indoor national cham-                         staff Writer                 and No. 3 doubles teams,
     A native of North Dakota,       pionship by a Calvin athlete,                                                   especially for pulling out
 Boerner was born into running.      winning the 400m dash. As                 After a successful MIAA tour- close ones that could have
 She’s from a family of run-         an encore, she was a double            nament run, the Calvin men’s gone either way. Going
 ners who “run every time they       event winner at the NCAA               tennis team fell in the MIAA up 3-0 made singles play
 gather” according to Boerner.       D-III outdoor championships            finals to Kalamazoo to take sec- a lot easier. It is hard for a
 The sprinter began as both a        in May. She earned the victory         ond overall.                             team to mentally believe
 track star and a cross-country      in both the 400m dash and the             Senior A ndrew DeV lieger they can come back from
 runner at a young age. She says     400m hurdles.                          was named to the All-MIAA a deficit like that.”
 she was not fully aware of her          This spring, she has picked        first team while senior Roland              Faci ng K a lamazoo,
 running potential growing up        up where she left off, winning         Eldridge and sophomore Preston however, t he K n ig ht s
 since she ran on a small team       the indoor 400 again by lead-          Phillips were named to the All- went down 3-0 in doubles
 from North Dakota, which            ing wire-to-wire in an impres-         MIAA second team.                        play and were unable to
 isn’t exactly a hotbed of run-      sive time of 55.75.                       Eldridge also became the ninth recover in singles, in spite
 ning talent.                            Since the season has turned        player in Calvin history to receive of well played sets.
     Boer ner does remember          to the outdoors, Boerner has           the Alan B. Stowe award for                 “We played toug h,”
 competing very well against         led the K nights to a solid            sportsmanship.                           said DeVlieger. “We had
 high school boys while she was      spring. She was instrumental              The men’s tournament was a really close match with
 still only in middle school on      in the team’s victory at the           highly reminiscent of years past K-Zoo earlier this season,
 the track. She vividly remem-       MIAA jamboree last month.              as they advanced to the finals for and we knew that if we
 bers running an all-out 400         She ran in five events, win-           the fourth time in the last five got the doubles, the match
 against a group of freshman         ning two, and taking second            years.                                   could have gone either
 boys and finishing just two         third and fourth in the other             Ca lv i n breezed pa st bot h way.”
 seconds behind them, in 64 sec-     three. The senior hopes to lead        Adrian and Hope, defeating                  Overall, the Knights
 onds. The closest competition       Calvin to yet another MIAA             Adrian 6-0 in the first round and were pleased with the
 in her grade was a boy running      championship at the Field Day          soundly beating Hope 5-0 in the tournament and optimis-                                    PHOtO COurtesy Of CaLVin.eDu

 74 seconds.                         this weekend.                          semifinals.                              tic about the trajectory of Men’s tennis beats Hope for the
     She commented, “The real-           In spite of all the individual        “The highlight of the tourna- the team.                             second time this season in the MIAA
 ization that I was 10 seconds       success, Boerner stays invested        ment was beating Hope convinc-              “It was a good tourna- tournament at Albion.
 faster than the fastest boy my      in the team, talking about the         ingly for the second time this ment,” said Eldridge. “We
 age hit me like a ton of bricks.”   team’s amazing potential for           season,” said DeVlieger of the didn’t pull off the upset, but we in the lineup. We had five or six
     Boerner went on to have a       great success at the end of the        matches.                                 did a lot of things well. We are guys that were all about the same
 lot of success in high school,      year.                                     Key in both victories was the beginning to see Kalamazoo as a ability-wise, which made prac-
 but she never let the fun escape        When asked what her favor-         Knights’ doubles play.                   lot more beatable than in the past. tices very competitive and forced
 the sport for her.                  ite thing about Calvin’s track            “The biggest factor in that We have every reason to believe us to bring our A-game every time
     Despite all the races and       program is, she said it was her        match was winning all three we can be the best program in the we stepped out on the court.”
 titles she has won, she reports     teammates and coaches, and             doubles matches,” said Eldridge. conference.”                                     Still, the team will miss their
 her favorite running memory         the “amazing sense of com-                                                               He continues, “We are graduating seniors, as the MIAA
 to be a run she took in a down-     munity” around the team.                                                              proud of what we’ve done awards attest. DeVlieger was one
 pour with her dad when they             She was also quick to men-                                                        this year, but still we know of six in the MIAA named to the
 “had a blast running in the rain    tion that many of her team-                                                           we can achieve more, and first team. While honored, he
 together, jumping in puddles        mates had fantastic perfor-                                                           hopefully that will prompt gave credit to the team.
 and splashing water at each         mances last weekend at the                                                            the younger guys to work           “It’s an honor to have been
 other. We were totally like kids    Gina Relays, which she and                                                            hard in the off-season.”       selected, but in the end I know
 just playing in the water.”         the team are hoping leads to                                                             The youth of the team it’s just affirmation. What really
     Boerner has performed like      fast times at the MIAA meet                                                           is part of Eldridge’s excite- mattered was our team’s success
 anything but a “kid just play-      and also the national meet in                                                         ment.                          ... We had four or five guys that
 ing,” however, for her entire       Delaware, Ohio on May 26-                                                                “The exciting thing about could have all played first singles
 Calvin running career.              28. There, Boerner personally                                                         our team is the young talent and done quite well.”
     She came to Calvin as a         hopes to defend her double                                                            we have,” he said.                 Eldridge was honored along
 freshman not primarily be-          title and lead Calvin to a high                                                          DeVlieger                   with Phillips by being named
 cause of the track program,         national finish.                                                                      continued“Look for Calvin to the All-MIAA second team,
 however, but primarily be-              With her time here at Calvin                                                      tennis to only improve in the and additionally receiving the
 cause of Calvin’s astronomy         w i ndi ng dow n, Boer ner                                                            coming years.”                 prestigious Alan B. Stowe award
 program. Very few Christian         plans to attend East Carolina                                                            DeV lieger too empha- for sportsmanship. Eldridge too
 schools have an astronomy           University for graduate studies                                                       sized his excitement at the def lected the praise away from
 minor available, and that was       in medical physics next year.                                                         team’s prospects for taking himself.
 something Boerner was look-         She has one year of indoor                                                            down Kalamazoo.                    “I was surprised and really
 ing for.                            eligibility left, which she plans                                                        “We have been inching humbled when they announced
     Upon meeting with former        to use at the university. Beyond                                                      our way closer and closer that at the tournament,” he said.
 track and field head coach,         that, while she may not win                                                           every season towards taking “The glory definitely goes to
 Jong-Il Kim, Boerner and her        any more NCAA champion-                                                               down Kalamazoo,” he said. God for these awards. I can do
 parents thought it was crazy        ships, it certainly would ap-                           PHOtO COurtesy Of CaLVin.eDu
                                                                                                                              He further emphasized all things through Christ who
 that he thought she could run       pear that she will continue            Men’s tennis finished second in                that it was a team effort.     strengthens me. I certainly do
 the open 400 in 57 seconds.         running through puddles with           the MIAA tournament behind                        “What made us good this not deserve recognition apart
     Now four years later, that      her dad at family gatherings.                                                         year was our depth down from Him.”
May 6, 2011                                                                              C him es                                                                                SportS 27

                                                                             Calvin falls in first round of MIAA tourney
                                                                                                                   fired on all cylinders, handily       she is also very hardworking, and
                                                                                     By Luke Leisman               winning the match, highlighted        I truly wish her the best as she
                                                                                        staff Writer               by a strong performance at No.        heads to medical school. I know
                                                                                                                   3 doubles from Bethany Zoerhof        she is going to do really well! It
                                                                                In a dogfight that came down       and Lauren Schlagenhauf, who          was very special to receive MIAA
                                                                             to the last set, the Calvin women’s   knocked off a team they had lost      first team honors together again
                                                                             tennis team fell in a tight match     to earlier in the year 9-7.           this year. It will be something that
                                                                             to St. Mary’s in the first round         “The Adrian match was a dif-       I will never forget.”
                                                                             of the tournament, then defeated      ferent kind of challenge. We were        Spoelhof and Busscher were
                                                                             Adrian 5- 0 to conclude their         all a little disappointed from los-   a lso wel l deser v i ng of t hei r
                                                                             season.                               ing the first-round match, but ev-    awards.

  Oosterhouse impresses
                                                                                Senior Melissa Oosterhouse         eryone refocused, played smart,          “I was also so excited that
                                                                             was named the MIAA’s Most             consistent tennis, and we ended       Kaitlin and Michelle were named
                                                                             Valuable Player in women’s ten-       up with a solid victory,” said        to the MI A A f irst team and
                                                                             nis and joined senior Kaitlin         Oosterhouse. “I was really proud      MIAA second team respectively,”
  Oosterhouse finishes career with a 29-3 record                             Spoelhof on the All-MIAA first        of the team after both matches.”      said Oosterhouse. “They both
                                                                             team, while senior Michelle              While the team suffered a          had great seasons this year and
                                         I had to learn the strategy and     Busscher was named to the All-        tough defeat, they still were hon-    have given so much to the Calvin
           By tim CLOVer                 improve my serve and volleys.       MIAA second team.                     ored for their individual play,       tennis program, so I felt their
             staff Writer                I knew more of what to expect          The Saint Mary’s match came        with Oosterhouse receiving top        awards were well-deserved.”
                                         playing singles, but I had to ad-   down to the wire for the Knights.     honors in the MIAA.                      Spoelhof also put in a plug for
                                         just to the fact that there were    Busscher went to a third set before      “I was very excited to receive     her teammate as well.
     For fou r yea rs, Mel issa                                                                                                                             “I was very proud of Michelle,
  Oosterhouse has been a rock            not any easy matches like there     downing her opponent 6-0 to tie       an award at the MIAA tourna-
                                         sometimes were in high school.      the match at four. Jordan Ipema       ment,” she said. “There are so        as she received all MIAA second
  on the Knights’ women’s ten-                                                                                                                           team,” she said. “She fought
  nis team, compiling a 29-3                Who helped you improve           then took her higher seeded op-       many strong players in the league
                                         your game while at Calvin?          ponent to the third set at No. 5      and it is definitely an honor to      through, and won so many great
  record at No. 1 singles during                                                                                                                         matches this year, working hard
  her career at Calvin. This sea-           MO: I was lucky enough           singles before falling in intense     receive an award.”
                                         to have several great coaches       play.                                    Oosterhouse recently complet-      to bring in points for our team.
  son she was also named the                                                                                                                             Her award was very well de-
  Most Valuable Player in the            and assistant coaches. During          “Jordan played a tough match       ed an MIAA career that saw her
                                         the tennis seasons, Coach           as well at f ive singles,” said       go 29-3 against league foes at No.    served!”
  MIAA, an award she also took                                                                                                                              The Knights’ comments are
  home last season. Her record in        Bergsma and the several assis-      Oosterhouse. “Even though she         1 singles. This year, she posted an
                                         tant coaches we’ve had helped       lost, it was great to see her fight   8-0 record in MIAA dual match         indicative of their support of
  the MIAA this season was an                                                                                                                            their teammates, and of the more
  unblemished 8-0 in dual match          me to improve my skills so I        so hard. Before the St. Mary’s        competition while also combin-
                                         could compete well.                 match, we met as a team and           ing with Spoelhof to record an        important parts of tennis.
  competition, a key stat in being                                                                                                                          Said Spoelhof, “I will always
  named MVP.                                During the off-season, I         challenged each other to leave        8-0 record against league teams
                                         trained with a private coach at     everything out on the court. After    in doubles play.                      remember the friends I made on
     Additionally, for the fourth                                                                                                                        the tennis team ... Also, I think
  consecutive year Oosterhouse           MVP Sportsplex. He helped           the meeting, everyone went out           “I have been very honored
                                         me improve my technique on          and played their absolute hardest.    to have played with Melissa in        that the discipline and com-
  was named to the All-MIAA                                                                                                                              mitment I learned from tennis
  first team.                            several shots and helped me         Even though we lost, it was great     doubles for the last three years,
                                         add more variety to my game.        to see everyone compete so well.”     as well as very honored to play       throughout my four years of play-
     Finally, Oosterhouse was                                                                                                                            ing at Calvin are skills that I can
  also recognized for her suc-              What advice do you have             Against Adrian the Knights         next to her every singles match,”
                                         for younger players?                faced a new kind of challenge:        said Spoelhof. “She is not only a     take with me and use as I move
  cess in the classroom, as she                                                                                                                          on to new experiences in my life.”
  was awarded the Karen Caine               MO: I would tell younger         regrouping. But the K nights          very talented tennis player, but

                                                                             Knights race toward MIAA Field Day
  Scholar-Athlete Award.                 players that balance is really
     Chimes caught up with the           essential. It is important to
  tennis star to ask her about           work hard and devote a lot of
  memories from her tennis ca-
  reer and what the next stage of
                                         time to improving your tennis
                                         game, but it is also important to   Teams look to wrap up MIAA championships in Olivet this weekend
  her life holds.                        continue to do other activities                                              To continue with the automatic     (30:37.69).
                                         that you enjoy as well.                       By JOn BeHm                 qualifying times, senior Gretchen        The teams closed up the com-
     At what age did you start              Also, I would tell them to                 sports editor               Braymer ran an automatic quali-       petition at the Hillsdale Gina
  playing tennis?                        never give up in a tennis match.                                          f ying time of 10:39.75 in the        relays on Sat urday in strong
     MO: I started playing tennis        Tennis matches have the po-            The men’s and women’s track        3000m steeplechase.                   fashion.
  when I was five years old. My          tential for many momentum           and field teams participated in          The Knights also recorded a           The women’s team saw a sea-
  older brother and sister were          changes, but you can only get       the Hillsdale Gina relays this past   plethora of NCAA D-III provi-         son-best time of 2:17.90 in the
  taking lessons, so I begged my         the momentum back by staying        weekend, recording a solid effort     sional qualifying times at the re-    80 0m f rom f reshman Olivia
  parents to let me play too. After      positive and fighting for every     and a few NCAA D-III automatic        lays. Junior Jodi Hoekstra posted     Butler. Hot on her tail was fel-
  having to be the ball girl for a       point.                              qualifying times.                     a provisional qualifying time of      low freshman Rebekah Folkema,
  while, my parents let me play             W hat is you r fondest              T he t wo - d ay compe t it ion    17:07.96 in the 5000m, while se-      who finished the 800m in a time
  and to start to take lessons.          memory of playing tennis at         started off with a bang, as senior    nior Ben Van Wyk barely missed        of 2:19.30, and senior Kristen
     Who were your influences            Calvin?                             Rachel Boerner posted an NCAA         out on an automatic qualifying        Fletcher, who finished in a sea-
  growing up?                               MO: My fondest memory            D-III automatic qualifying time       time by less than two-tenths of       son-best 2:19.69.
     MO: My main inf luence              is winning the MIAA tourna-         of 1:01.67 in the 400m hurdles.       a second, clocking a provisional         The Knight’s 4x400 relay of
  was my family. My parents              ment last year and qualifying       Her time was the fasted in all        qualifying time of 9:07.19 in the     Folkema, Butler, junior Jordan
  taught me several values like          for the NCAA tournament.            D-III competitions nationally         3000m steeplechase.                   Gabrielse and Boerner barely
  the importance of hard work               We had lost in the tourna-       this spring.                             Other NCAA D-III provision-        missed out on an NCAA D-III
  and responsibility.                    ment finals 5-4 the two years          In the men’s 5000m, junior         al qualifying times came from         provisional qualif ying time,
     One of the most important           before, but we were returning       Nick Kramer shattered the school      sophomore Matt VanderRoest in         clocking in with a time of 3:56.56.
  things they taught me was              the same starting players for       record en route to an NCAA            the 3000m steeplechase (9:22.50),        With the season nearly com-
  how to act during competition.         the third year, so we made it       D-III automatic qualifying time.      sophomore Greg Whittle in the         plete, the Knights are gearing
  They always expected me to             a team goal to win the confer-      He completed the race in a time       1500m (3:50.60), senior Alex          up for the MIAA Field Day. The
  respect my opponent, whether           ence. To see everyone’s hard        of 14:17.70, soundly beating the      Wrobel in the 1500m (3:50.73), ju-    competition will take place this
  I was winning or losing, which         work pay off and to achieve         previous record of 14:22.56 set by    nior Dan Kerr in the 10k (30:29.43)   weekend and is hosted by Olivet,
  was a very important lesson            that goal after being so close      Jed Christiansen in 2009.             and junior Rhett Morici in the 10k    with the MIAA titles up for grabs.
  for me.                                the previous years was amaz-
     I also learned a lot by watch-      ing.
  ing my older siblings. I saw the          How does it feel to be hon-
  hard work that they put into           ored as MIAA MVP for the
  mastering the sport and the            second year in a row?
  successes that they had because           MO: I was very excited to be
  of that effort. Their successes        named MIAA MVP each time.
  motivated me to work hard              There were a lot of strong play-
  as well.                               ers in the league both years, so
     W hat a re some of you r            to be chosen was definitely an
  greatest tennis accomplish-            honor.
  m e n t s b e fo r e c o m i n g t o      In what capacity do you
  Calvin?                                plan on continuing to play
     MO: I played many USTA              tennis?
  tou r n a me nt s whe n I wa s            MO: As of right now, I’m
  growing up, and one of the             planning on continuing to
  highlights was qualifying for          play tennis, but in a more rec-
  the Midwest Closed Junior              reational manner. I know that
  Championships. Also, in high           I would like to play more com-
  school, I won regionals my             petitively again sometime in
  freshman year while playing            the future, perhaps on a travel
  No. 2 singles. I made it to the        team.
  state semifinals my junior and            I am hoping to come back to
  senior years while playing No.         Calvin next fall and compete
  1 singles and received All-State       in the alumni tennis match
  honors those two years.                as well.
     How hard was it to adjust              What are your plans for the
  to college tennis coming out           future?
  of high school?                           MO: In the fall I will be at-
     MO: It definitely took some         tending medical school. Right
  time for me to adjust. I did not       now, I think I would like to
  have a lot of experience play-         be either a pediatrician or a
  ing doubles before college, so         neonatologist.                                                                                                            PHOtO COurtesy Of CaLVin.eDu
                                                                             The track team prepares for the NCAA Division III finals.The Knights are sending ten athletes.
28 Etc.                                                                      C him es                                                 May 6, 2011

                                                                        Language lessons

                                                                                                                       with Amy and Griffin
                                                                        Here’s the load down: in the mist of these last weeks of school,
                                                                        you must bare in mind that soon we’ll all be heading home to
                                                                        roast. Before we get to the real crutch of the matter, we’ve got to
                                                                        nip our finals in the butt. If you’re worried that your professors are
                                                                        in cohorts with one another to destroy your grade or your sleep
                                                                        habits, recognize that that’s probably a far-gone conclusion, and
                                                                        if they really are in cohorts, your professors will certainly get their
                                                                        just deserts. Not to be tongue and cheek, but there’s no need to
                                                                        stress. Stop being a pre-Madonna. For all intensive purposes, you
                                                                        just need to girdle your loins, color-code those notes and recog-
                                                                        nize the bold-faced lies of upperclassmen who try to scare you.
                                                                        And just so you know, if you’re in a sweet English class that runs
                                     “Are freshmen college stu-         the gambit of literary devices, this little ditty is filled with “egg-
                                   dents representative of ‘people’?”
                                     -Professor Plantinga, CAS          corns,” which are words or phrases that sound like other words or
                                                                        phrases, but change the meaning.
                         “I firmly believe that dinosaurs just like
                      to fight all day, live near volcanoes and fight
                      all day.”
                         -Professor Stearley, geology

       “I recognize you. You’re in one of my pictures!”
    -Professor McMullen, economics

                  “I know I’m in America when not everyone votes.”
                -Professor Dhuga, classics

    “Thats why God blessed women with sharp tones; they can cheat
  on exams and not be heard.”
    -Professor Abadeer, economics

             “I took my mother out last night, while my wife was
          tied up at home.”
             -Professor Fondse, English
                      O pi n iOn                                                                                                                                                              29
                                                                                                    Calvin privileges informal connections so highly, the who-you-know mattering

                 a n d E di t Or i a l
                                                                                                    more than what-you-know, that being international becomes a severe disadvantage.
                                                                                                                        -Matthew Koh, “Social and financial challenges,” p.31

    From the                            college) raised huge red flags for
                                        me about this college’s priori-
                                                                                prolific interest in linguistics.
                                                                                They bore with me through the
                                                                                                                       classes you take. There’s also
                                                                                                                       that whole “just living” thing,
                                                                                                                                                                enjoy my studies again. And
                                                                                                                                                                in my opinion, if you’re going
                                        ties. We are a Christian college,       lengthy process of writing my          an integral part of your college         to spend goodness knows how
     Editor                             it’s true, but Calvin also prides
                                        itself on academic excellence.
                                                                                honors thesis and worked with
                                                                                me to help me transform it from a
                                                                                                                       experience. In college, you really
                                                                                                                       should be forming strong relation-
                                                                                                                                                                many thousands of dollars on
                                                                                                                                                                an education, you might as
     Wow. I graduate in just 15         Demanding that professors who           good paper to great paper. Taking      ships (though not necessarily of         well make sure you enjoy the
  short days, and this is my last       are Christians abandon their own        their grammar interim class (with      the romantic variety) and lifetime       experience.
  issue of Chimes. That means           beliefs and their own consciences       several Chimes compatriots, no         friendships (Alisha, Cara, Naomi            Finally, I would like to bid
  that it’s time for the traditional    and forcing them to at least nomi-      less) was definitely one of the best   and Tim: you guys are beyond             farewell to all my classmates
  introspective end-of-the-year         nally subscribe to doctrines that       classroom experiences I’ve had at      awesome. Seriously). One of my           and Chimes colleagues. To my
  editorial. Yes, it’s long and it      they don’t reeks of intellectual        Calvin. Not only are they delight-     favorite memories from college           classmates: I truly hope that
  tends to ramble, but this is my       dishonesty. I’m not asking that         ful professors individually, but       will be driving to Chicago on bliz-      your education serves you well
  last chance to bundle up all          Calvin abandon its beliefs whole-       their team dynamic and hilarious       zard January night to see Eddie          in life, and I wish you the best
  my thoughts about my time at          sale — I think it’s important for       banter made it a can’t-miss class.     Izzard live in Chicago. Not only         in whatever route you choose
  Calvin and bid you all a very         the college to maintain a firm          Seriously, even if you can’t take      was the show great, but we also          to go after graduation. To my
  fond farewell.                        Christian identity — I’m merely         their tag-team grammar class,          ended up in a snowy ditch on the         Chimes colleag ues: Than k
     During my time at Calvin,          saying that if Calvin really wants      you should try to take a class         way there (admittedly, this was          you for your hard work, your
  some terrible things have hap-        academic excellence and honesty         with at least one of these terrific    probably less fun for my friend          friendship and support. Chimes
  pened at the college, and some        in addition to Christian ideals, it     professors. Honorable mentions         who was driving). Adventure              can only ever be as good as
  great things have happened at         can’t keep trying to strongarm          also go to professors David Noe        and comedy and an unforgettable          its volunteer staff that puts in
  the college. I was here for the       its faculty members into strictly       and Jeff Winkle of the classics        night all in one, it really was the      countless thankless, unpaid
  Denise Isom issue. I was here         CRC beliefs.                            department. If I’d had the op-         quintessential college experience.       hours is willing to make it, and
  for Memogate. I was here for              Though I think these sorts of       portunity to take more than just          And this ties into one of my          you, dear editors and writers,
  the Harlow and Schneider scare        topics will become a recurring          one class with these remarkable        final comments: while you’re a           have consistently gone above
  and The New Pornographers             theme as Calvin discovers what          professors, I’m sure they’d rank       student at Calvin, make sure that        and beyond what was asked
  debacle that took place just ear-     its 21st-century identity should        even higher. I’ve been impressed       in addition to devoting adequate         of you. Thank you for sacrific-
  lier this year. I was also here for   be, I can proudly say that my           both by how fun their lectures are     time to work and studies you set         ing so much of your time; it’s
  concerts by fabulous artists like     alma mater has some truly great         and with how much I’ve learned         aside some time for yourself. I like     because of you that Chimes
  Chanticleer, OK Go and The            professors. A prett y obvious           in their classes. Plus, classics       the feeling of accomplishment            routinely sweeps the Michigan
  Decemberists. I was here for          shoutout has to go to professor         classes are fascinating; it’s safe     that comes with staying busy,            Collegiate Press Association
  lectures by terrific people like      Jennifer Holberg, who is cur-           to say that if I were to either stay   but an important part of retain-         awards. It takes a special brand
  Temple Grandin and Jessica            rently serving as Chimes advi-          at Calvin another year or get a        ing your psychological health is         of person to consistently devote
  Jackley. I think that Calvin,         sor. In addition to taking four         do-over, I’d definitely add either a   setting aside some “fun” time for        so much time to an unpaid ex-
  like many Christian colleges,         terrific classes with her, I’ve been    classics major or a classics minor.    yourself just to unwind and enjoy        tracurricular, so I would like
  is currently facing (and will         privileged to continue working          And since I’m currently taking a       life. Last semester, fall semester of    to thank Jon, Griffin, Abby,
  continue to face) an identity cri-    her this year in order to give you      class on classical mythology with      my senior year, I was so busy that       Michelle, Colleen, Johnny K.,
  sis as it struggles to determine      folks a paper to read every week.       professor Noe, I feel compelled to     I really didn’t have time to enjoy       Katie Faber, Liz, Tyler, Jared,
  how it be a viable player in both     Professor Holberg is definitely         add that Calvin really needs to        anything. There’s a lot to be said       Katie Hall, Jackson, Kendra,
  religious and academic circles.       one of my personal role models;         branch out the mythology classes       for having a strength work ethic,        Joseph, Nate, Andrea, Andrew,
     My biggest concern about the       and any Calvin student would do         that it offers. Greco-Roman my-        but working over 40 hours a week         Emmanuel, Jerry, Aleesa, Pam
  college’s future is how Calvin        well to take an English class with      thology is all well and good, but      while taking over 20 credit hours        and of course our “office pet”
  will manage to uphold its aca-        her, even if it’s just as a fun elec-   Norse, Celtic, Egyptian, Indian,       isn’t particularly advisable. Just       and my former editor and men-
  demic integrity if its top priori-    tive. Two other English professors      Japanese and countless other my-       don’t do it. Stay busy and work          tor Stephen Mulder. You guys
  ty is that all its faculty members    who have been both inspirational        thologies are pretty awesome too       hard, but always schedule in some        are great; you’ve been an amaz-
  uphold every tenet of the CRC.        and high influential in my aca-         (personally, I’m a big fan of Norse    down time. Fortunately, I wised          ing part of my college experi-
  The Harlow and Schneider              demic life at Calvin are professors     and Egyptian mythologies.)             up after last semester and quit one      ence, and I thank you for that.
  controversy at the start of this      William Vande Kopple and James             But of course, college life is      of my jobs. Now that I’ve scaled         May you all be prosperous and
  year (combined with the fact          Vanden Bosch (alphabetical order        far more than the administrative       my hours back to around 30 per           blessed wherever life leads you.
  that both of these worthy pro-        in these credits!). These two both      decisions your school makes, the       week and am taking a comfort-
  fessors seem to be leaving the        inspired and nourished my now           cool professors you meet and the       able 15 credits, I have time to                                       ~ajs

Real change difficult due to lack of transparency and effective student input
                                        udder (please don’t take that           eral instances in which professors     ambiguous rhetoric? Well, simple         president is; if he’s a family man,
           by Mag KiM                   metaphor offensively). But we put       or faculty have been forced to quit    answer: I did it because despite all     if he’s a vegetarian, the types of
           guest Writer                 milk in everything, thinking it’ll      because they wanted to go to a         of the things that frustrated me         things he likes to do on his free
                                        either make it taste better (mmm,       church of another denomination         about this place, I am genuinely         time. We need an administration
   Calvin College is like milk.         milkshake), or because it’s just the    or because they have pushed the        happy here. I have met professors        that actually listens to us (or the
Most of us were raised drinking         way it’s been done since before         boundaries of CRC doctrine via         that really care about me, profes-       faculty) when making huge deci-
it and believing it was a healthy       we were born, a traditional view.       published works. Professors are        sors that invest their time and en-      sions that affect the future of the
and a necessary part of our diet.          The transparency of Calvin           the ones that teach the students;      ergy into my future because they         school.
I grew up in a Christian bubble         College’s administration is also        they have a direct connection          believe in me. They’ve invited me           I’m proud to graduate from
the majority of my life, and even       similar to milk. The white density      with our education and how well        to their homes for movie nights,         Calvin, and I love this place,
ended up graduating f rom a             of the liquid makes it difficult to     we are prepared for the future. I      garage sales, dinners, art open-         and that’s why I believe there is
Christian high school in New            see through. Yes, the color is light,   always thought, shouldn’t we have      ings and discussions. I’ve built         hope. I’ve seen the administration
Mexico. Every morning, like a           but it’s hard to make out what’s        a say in the matter?                   personal relationships that I hope       do things that are positive. The
glass of milk at breakfast, my          in the middle. We had the whole            In all three cases, the admin-      to continue once I graduate (be-         Mosaic floor, originally in KH,
mother would pray over my sister        Memo fiasco where the admin-            istration seemed to have already       cause then they won’t judge me           evolved into an entire new dorm
and me before our ride to school.       istration implemented a rule that       decided on the course of action it     based on my attendance record).          that tries to build a community
My family attended Wednesday            stated faculty and staff could not      was going to take. And through             I’ve made friends here that I        of academics and confront issues
and Friday night services, and          “advocate” for homosexuality in         it all, it maintained milk-like        don’t think I could have made            regarding the environment, and
then got up early to make Sunday        or out of the classroom. The rule       transparency as to how much            anywhere else. They have sup-            racism. I have continued to watch
mornings. Now I’m getting ready         didn’t even go through the proper       the students were allowed to           ported me through some of the            the gender studies program grow
to graduate from Calvin College         channels. It seemed random at           know about the entire process. I       worst times of my life and cel-          from when I was a freshman. And
— yet another Christian school.         the time, and it surprised a lot        must admit, the administration         ebrated with me during the best.         as of next year, the English de-
I didn’t even think to apply any-       of people as it marginalized an         has set up talks with students to      People that, regardless of where         partment is going to have specific
where else. I guess you could say       entire community here. I still          create “dialogue,” but that’s all      I am in 15 years, I will be more         concentrations; a huge change
that I’ve been heading in this          don’t know what happened to it,         we really get: talk. No action, no     than happy to pick up at the air-        that I wish had been done sooner.
direction my whole life. I was          and I’m pretty sure that’s how it’s     follow through — we get a panel        port for a visit. The relationships         As I’m prepping for graduation
raised to believe that Calvin, like     going to stay.                          discussion to voice our opinions.      that I’ve made here within the           and forcing myself to concen-
a towering glass of milk, would            Before the theatrics of “Memo-       Chimes writes an article, people       school and Grand Rapids com-             trate on my studies (this article
give me all the nutrients my body       gate,” there was the armed cam-         tell stories and we hear a couple      munity have changed me and               is evidence to my inability to
required for spiritual sustenance       pus safety debacle. Students were       of months later that the adminis-      turned me into a better person.          concentrate on course work),
in a secular world.                     protesting certain campus safety        tration ended up doing whatever        These have been strong enough            there is — without a doubt —
   But eventually, throughout           officers carrying guns, and some        they intended to do from the be-       reasons for me to stay enrolled in       something about this place that
my four-and-a-half years here, I        even went as far as to outline bod-     ginning.                               this institution regardless of how       I will miss deeply. If there was
learned that everything I thought       ies on the ground with chalk. Sure         Then, just to add insult to         irritated I may become with its          anything I could say to the un-
about milk was wrong. It isn’t          enough, a couple of months later,       injury, they give us the opportu-      “milkiness.”                             derclassmen as they take root in
a necessary part of our diet, as        I met one of the campus safety of-      nity to run for Student Senate.            I should clarify that the point      this environment that they too
there are products that fulfill our     ficers that was permitted to strap      No offense to anyone on Student        of this article is not that I want       will hopefully call home, I would
nutritional requirements more           a gun on his hip. He was a really       Senate, but I am still incredulous     Calvin to stop being a Christian         encourage them to refrain from
efficiently. Some Christians go         nice guy, but what bothered me          about the notion that any type of      college. To be honest, I like that it    apathy. This experience isn’t just
to public schools and universi-         was that the administration went        serious change can occur through       is. I like that folks can go to chapel   four (or five) more years of our
ties, and I know a few that have        through with it without actually        them. The executive team is a fig-     or volunteer at Christian organi-        lives we will soon forget; Calvin
maintained a better “Christian”         including students on the deci-         urehead for our voices. They may       zations to help Grand Rapids. I          represents us just as much as we
lifestyle than those at Calvin.         sion (as far as I know).                entice the votes of you on-campus      like that people can go to dorm          represent Calvin in the future. So
There are plenty of people that            Throughout my college career,        dwellers with better open house        worship or have conferences of           plant the seeds of change, rally
don’t like milk (the atheists or        there have been amazing profes-         hours, or environment lovers with      faith and music, writing or devel-       for transparency and take ad-
apathetic students that somehow         sors that have left or are in trouble   empty promises of a more energy        opment. What I’m arguing is that         vantage of the opportunities this
ended up here), and there are           with the administration due to          efficient, eco-friendly campus,        Calvin needs to make a progres-          college offers us in the form of its
some that can’t even drink it be-       issues with the religious aspects       but these are mere words veiling       sive step to being something that        students and professors, because
cause they’re lactose intolerant        of their contracts. Professors          whatever agenda the administra-        isn’t simply rooted in tradition or      these are things I regret not doing
(the students that already believe      are required to send children to        tion actually has planned.             the “it’s good for you” mentality,       enough of. So, instead of milk,
in something else). In fact, it’s       Christian schools in order to be           Then why go to Calvin? Why          but rather, something that is root-      let’s go vegan and make a shift
kind of gross to even think about       hired. They must also be a mem-         put myself through four-plus           ed in love — or Christ. It needs         toward something healthier for
how you’re consuming something          ber of an approved Reformed de-         years in an institution with an        to be a community where the              the school, the community and
that came directly from a cow’s         nomination. There have been sev-        agenda shrouded in secrecy and         students actually know who the           our spirituality.
30    OpiniOn and EditOrial                                                              C him es                                                                                   May 6, 2011

Christians have responsibility to continue reforming
Reformed Christians, at Calvin and elsewhere, need to hold to roots but not be afraid to branch out
                                       been most relevant. From my           healthy, my aim is not to end our      friction. And because friction is        where we have been and so that
      by Griffin Jackson               four years, the following con-        conflicts, but rather to spur the      often painful, we are hesitant to        we have places of safety to return
         Managing Editor               troversies stood out: the “Fear       growth that ought to result from       encourage this scraping of faith         to in time of need. But we must
                                       Every Nation” spoof, the Dr.          those conf licts and to gird the       and learning.                            not build a single citadel and be
   In my time at Calvin College,       Isom decision, the Memo and the       Calvin College community from              Our spirituality and our intel-      finished. We are to be ever explor-
the atmosphere has been some-          HCL documents, questions about        division. My ambition, then, is        lectualism fit together well in          ing at the edges of faith, not for
thing of a pendulum, swing-            diversity and identity, student-      two-fold: to inspire Calvin to be      so much of this integration. It is       the purpose of taming whatever
ing from controversy to contro-        college relations as they relate to   open to its own reforming and to       only at the edges that we become         is there, but for the purpose of
versy with interludes of calm.         responsibility and discipline, the    encourage Calvin in unity.             reluctant, uncertain, confused.          knowing it and of seeing God’s
Of course, this is a college and       Ken Ham exchange, The New                In terms of reform, it must be      Of course, it is for these very          hand there.
therefore suited for controversy.      Pornographers episode, budget         recognized that Calvin College         reasons that these overlaps have            This may sound intimidating
Calvin is a place for debate. It       cuts, administration-college rela-    is the school of the Christian         been defined as the “edges” of           to staunch traditionalists. How
is through argument and query          tions as they relate to trust and     Reformed Church. We are an             faith and learning.                      much can we reform before we are
and investigation that we grow         the clouding of academic freedom      institution under the direct own-          What is questionable in culture      no longer Reformed Christians?
in knowledge. Constant explora-        and confessional interpretation.      ership of the denomination and         and science and doctrine is, by          The label of “Reformed” Chris-
tion, challenge and questioning           In thinking about these is-        subject to the rule of Synod. This     nature of its being questionable,        tian bears within it a host of
are essential to the nature of any     sues and the resulting clashes, I     position is one of both privilege      on the fringe. It is not because we      historical and theological impli-
progressive academic institution.      have tried to perceive the ways       and burden. Calvin is blessed          have built walls at these edges that     cations. To be Reformed is to be
What is more, it is largely benefi-    Calvin has grown from them.           to have the backing of a sturdy        there is friction, but because there     continually reforming, certainly,
cial to be made uncomfortable by       How have we matured? How              foundation of believers, a de-         is friction at these edges we have       but it is also to be rooted in a firm,
these challenges. Our discomfort       have we transformed so that these     nomination concerned with the          built walls.                             tried tradition, born in the 16th
makes us better able to avoid          struggles might not rear their        happenings of both heaven and              But, hasn’t there always been        century. That is, the reform by
laxity and ignorance and turn          heads again?                          earth, and the long and deep his-      friction? Haven’t Christians,            which we are branded must not
to the cultivation of our minds           Undoubtedly, vast quanti-          tory of Reformed Christianity.         for 2,000 years, been coming             merely be a description of what
and the increasing of our hearts’      ties of information are hidden           In the same breath, Calvin is       upon walls that were thought             we do, it must also be a descrip-
overflowing.                           from me and the student body.         burdened in that it is restricted      to require demolition? Some of           tion of who we are.
   Calvin has kept me on my toes.      Nevertheless, if this institution     to the boundaries set by the de-       these walls have been torn down,            And, if what we are is defined
It has held my mind in constant        has truly improved as a result of     nomination. We are limited to          some have been pushed back,              in part by what we do, we must
motion. It has made my heart           these issues, that growth should      the current stance of the Christian    but perhaps the best solution is         ask ourselves, “To what end are
ponder. For that, I am grateful.       be at least dimly apparent to all.    Reformed Church, and openly            simply found in re-forming the           we reforming? Is there some end
   Nevertheless, I cannot help         Why then, in my ponderings, can       taking a different posture is large-   walls. The boundaries themselves         toward which we strive? And, if
but feel that something is not         I not perceive the growth? Why        ly condemned.                          are not bad. Not all walls are           there is an end, how will we know
right. I cannot escape the feeling     do I feel so little confidence that      Do not misread me. Not for          infringements. Many are appro-           when we are there?”
that our controversies have been       these clouds will not return to       a moment would I suggest that          priately placed, and those walls,           I t h i n k we a s R e f o r m e d
too harsh, our discomfort too          campus? Why can I not escape          boundaries are inappropriate           rather than being razed, should be       Christians, especially academic
hindering. I fear that we have en-     the feeling that, in my four years,   or that limitations are purely         sanded smooth.                           Reformed Christians, must al-
gaged our disagreements poorly.        Calvin has endured mere pains         inhibitory. But, I believe Calvin          Still, we should not fear the        ways be reforming. For us, there
I worry we have been too cruel,        when it could have endured grow-      finds itself in a unique position      walls that have been built for us,       is no end. To find the end of our
too stubborn, too unforgiving.         ing pains?                            among colleges and universities.       nor should we fear what lies be-         reforming is to have entered into
And here, I think, is the reason          I submit that Calvin College is,   The majority of private Christian      yond. If we are to be pilgrims of        the hereafter of God’s own courts.
for my fear; we have argued and        generally, not using its struggles    colleges are too firmly entrenched     the faith, can we also be pioneers       And we cannot reach that end by
we have “dialogued,” we have           for its growth. I submit that we      behind too many boundaries,            of the faith? If we are saints, can      our own reformations.
asked the right questions and          are little, if any, better off than   while the majority of public col-      we also be prophets? If we stay             It is not for me to determine the
sought the right answers, but          we were four years ago, despite       leges are too loosely committed to     within to defend the faith, can we       boundaries of faith. It is not for
there is one thing that, to my         the abundance of “teachable           too few boundaries. Calvin finds       also go out to explore the faith?        Calvin or the Board of Trustees
eyes, we have not done: we have        moments.” Have we, in our pur-        itself in a difficult middle. As           Reformed Christianity, be-           or the CRC to determine them
not grown.                             suit of knowledge and of God,         Reformed Christians, we claim to       cause it spans “ever y square            either. Certainly, boundaries
   To even the most unaware            become more learned in love, in       be always “integrating faith and       inch,” is not merely a compound          are helpf ul, but as Reformed
student, the issues have been          forgiveness, in hope, in trust, in    learning.” We are willing to per-      to be defended; it is a frontier to be   Christians who are continually
widely apparent. The parties           koinonia, in engagement and in        mit our learning to push against       explored. Certainly, we can and          reforming, we recognize that ul-
behind the issues have varied:         wisdom? I submit that we have         the boundaries of faith, just as       should establish areas and ideas         timately, the boundaries are set
students, faculty, administration,     not.                                  we are willing to permit our faith     of refuge along the way, planting        by God’s Word, both written and
alumni and the broader academic           Granting that some disagree-       to rub against the boundaries of       f lags in doctrine and tradition         incarnate, and made known to us
and Christian community have           ment is i nev itable a nd even        our learning. But, all of this is      and experience so that we know           by the Holy Spirit.

Students should transcend typical ‘hipster’ categories
                                       literature they themselves don’t      ruple espresso.                        seems to apply to a love of tea,         going to spend our evenings
       by Jacob WalkEr                 even like, simply to be differ-           The Hipsterus historicus is        literature or Indonesian cuisine.        curing cancer.
           Guest Writer                ent. They avoid the mainstream        obsessed with decades past, and        I am more concerned with the                So, rather than spend all our
                                       at all costs, except when being       usually expresses this through         latter implication.                      time worrying about whether
   A few weeks ago, as the student     mainstream would be “funny”.          vintage clothing, listening exclu-        If we feel guilty about our           or not other people think we’re
senate races were about to begin,      In short, they devote themselves      sively to classic rock and folk and    hobbies because we feel they             hipsters, why don’t we embrace
two perfectly nice individuals         to being disingenuous.                the possession of an unreasonably      are culturally worthless, we are         the label? There is nothing wrong
came to my door and asked for             Opposed to the Hipsterus clas-     detailed knowledge of American         insulting the many individuals           with being passionate about
my signat ure. They outlined           sicus is the Hipsterus dooficus,      history.                               who share that hobby but don’t           something, whether it is a com-
their policies, and since I didn’t     or hipster doofus. In appearance          There are many more, but what      feel guilty about it; we are sug-        mon recreational pursuit or not.
disagree with any thing they           and behavior, dooficus and clas-      they all share in common is that       gesting that they should feel bad        I’m not judging. If you like beat
proposed, I gave them my John          sicus seem entirely alike, but as     they are more doofus than true         about the way they choose to             poetry, then by all means, talk to
Hancock. Over the course of            the adage goes, “Don’t judge a        hipster. Indeed, Hipsterus clas-       spend their time. This kind of           me about it. If you are enthralled
my ensuing conversation with           book by its cover.” For the hipster   sicus is in the minority within the    thinking perpetuates notions of          by unicycles, then I will be pre-
them, it became clear that they        doofus, unlike the true hipster, is   hipster social domain.                 “high” and “low” culture that I          pared to clear space for you on
possessed a deep-seated fear that      an entirely genuine individual.           The point that I want to make      feel are antithetical to a Christian     the path, and I’ll probably smile
I find is on the rise among our        It is as if they fell in love with    here is two-fold. First, while irony   worldview. Further, the notion           a bit as you go by. If you like “Of
age group.                             the hipster lifestyle while simul-    has its place, it should not serve     that these hobbies are a waste of        Montreal,” then I don’t under-
   “Do I seem like a hipster?” one     taneously failing to pick up on       as the basis for a lifestyle. The      time is conceited at best. Let’s not     stand you at all. But hey, I won’t
of them asked me.                      the key to that lifestyle: irony.     thinking behind the actions of         kid ourselves. Most of us weren’t        hold it against you.
   “No,” I told him.                   Hence the term “doofus,” mean-        the true hipster is the thinking of
   And indeed, he was not a hip-       ing someone “without a clue.”         a narcissistic individual, so sure
ster. He was a hipster doofus.         By virtue of this ignorance, any-     of their intellectual superiority           LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the
   It’s likely that many of you        thing dooficus does is done out       that they mock other lifestyles
know the individuals I am speak-       of true passion. Dooficus can         to assert that superiority. There         writer’s name and class. Letters received without a
ing of, so let me be clear; I do       identify curry varieties blind-       is nothing admirable about this.          name will not be printed. The editors reserve the right
not mean that label as an insult.      folded not because it is a way to     Secondly, and more importantly,           to edit any letters. The length of the letter should be no
Indeed, I mean it as a compli-         be different, but because dooficus    if you are called a hipster because       longer than 250 words; longer letters may be shortened
ment. But of course, this is dif-      likes curry.                          your hobbies aren’t conventional,         at the editor’s discretion. The deadline for all letters is
ficult to understand, so allow me         To this foundation we add          it is nothing to be embarrassed
to explain by means of pseudo-         the many specialized breeds of        about.                                    5 p.m. on Tuesday for print on the following Friday.
science (emphasis on the “pseu-        hipster. The Hipsterus musicus            Often, when our hobbies are           Send letters to with “Letter to the
do”). When I think of the term         can be found in the record store      not mainstream activities like            Editor” in the subject line, or send your comments
“hipster,” I think of a wide variety   or the smallest local performance     basketball, camping, scrapbook-           through our website:
of personalities that I have, over     venue, always ready to tell you       ing, etc., we refer to them as
time, come to classify in a sort of    about some band nobody has ever       “guilty pleasures” (we also do
taxonomy.                              heard of. Musicus likely carries      this when the things we like are             ANNOUNCEMENTS can be submitted by Calvin
   First, and most obvious, is the     around a half-broken guitar, a        a little too mainstream). But why         students, faculty and staff to be printed in Chimes at
Hipsterus classicus. This is the       banjo or increasingly, a ukulele.     should we be guilty? Indeed,              no cost. Announcements can be sent via e-mail to
true hipster, a rare and despi-           The Hipsterus arrabicus haunts     what would it mean if we were    or dropped off at the Chimes office
cable creature. Why despicable?        local coffeehouses, the seedier the   guilty? To be guilty of one’s hob-        during the week. Announcements must be received by
Because the Hipsterus classicus        better. Arrabicus can tell you        bies implies that those hobbies
is an entirely insincere individual.   the contents of any coffee-based      are morally objectionable, or of          5 p.m. Tuesday to run in Friday’s paper. Please stick
Everything this hipster does is        beverage, decries corporations        little cultural value and a waste         to a limit of 160 characters and send with the subject
done for the sake of irony. They       like Seattle’s Best and Starbucks     of time. The first of these im-           line “announcement.”
espouse the virtues of music and       and isn’t even fazed by a quad-       plications, while serious, hardly
May 6, 2011                                                                                       C him es                                                                OpiniOn and EditOrial 31

Social and financial challenges remain for international students
                                               British English, I write wrong.        fever is by far the most prevalent    system, or how difficult it is to        concepts.” How many concepts
         by MatthEW koh                           T his is A mer ica; speak           disease on campus. Not once           rent without a credit rating.            would white Americans get read-
              staff Writer                     American English.                      have I heard someone say this is         Admissions promised interna-          ing a book in Sanskrit with a
                                                  Wonder why so many inter-           wrong, that attaching attraction      tional students $2,500 per year          dictionary in hand?
    What has being international               national kids hang out with each       to racial features is essentially     in on-campus jobs. But no one                There are many individual
at Calvin meant to me? In four                 other?                                 racist, that saying Asian women       tells us how to get those jobs or        professors and staff members
years, I’ve never been asked that                 There are stickers around cam-      are submissive yet sexual is ste-     helps us in any way apart from an        who do their best to make me feel
question.                                      pus demanding a stop to racist,        reotyping.                            employment quota in Admissions           welcome, but it shouldn’t be their
    Internationals are encouraged              sexist and homophobic language.           Asians are hyper-feminised         (ask a sociologist whether quota         responsibility to ensure that I am
to give sound bites and snapshots              But what about nationalist slurs?      and so dehumanised. Is there a        systems actually benefit minori-         welcomed. The onus shouldn’t
of our countries, the exotic and ar-           Why is it fine for people to call      dance for that?                       ties — hint: they don’t). I spent        be on individuals; it should be
chetypical aspects of our cultures.            my country or region a corrupt,           When people say internation-       two years trawling JobShop and           on departments, the administra-
Calvin enjoys that: Rangeela                   crappy place to live? Why do           als only get scholarships because     received 20 rejections before I re-      tion, the Board. Why is there no
sel ls out ever y yea r; people                people feel the right to tell me,      they’re international (the heri-      alized that most of the office jobs      substantial training? Why are
throng the library lobby to nibble             with a wink and a smile, that          tage scholarship, which practi-       went to kids who were connected          internationals rarely asked how
our tidbits.                                   Malaysia and Indonesia should          cally goes only to white students     to Calvin. Coincidentally, those         they’re coping?
    Calvin acknowledges us as                  be nuked? Or that America is so        because four generations ago          kids tend to be white, Dutch,                Byker’s Cabinet was quick to
internationals when we become                  much better than anywhere else?        minorities weren’t welcomed           from Grand Rapids, middle- to            accommodate alumni who didn’t
near stereotypes of ourselves.                 Or that it’s surprising that I have    at Calvin, is never mentioned),       upper-class and related to some          bother researching a band whose
Doesn’t anyone want to know                    read and listened to so much?          where is the voice of protest? A      Calvinite.                               name they didn’t like. Where are
what our lives at Calvin are re-                  Could I make anti-American          friend switched schools because          It’s illegal for internationals       they when professors mistreat in-
ally like?                                     remarks and receive the same lee-      of the way Calvin students treated    to work off campus; the afore-           ternational students? Then again,
    We dance, we sing. We share                way? If I say that America com-        her — where was Calvin then?          mentioned Grand Rapids kids              considering how horrendously
our food, our culture. But we                  mitted as many atrocities as the       When the Chimes spoof on the          can use their connections to             minority and/or international
don’t speak.                                   U.S.S.R. in the Cold War, would        Banner upset donors and alumni,       just as easily get a job off cam-        faculty and staff are treated by
    Are we novelties? Brought                  Americans smile and nod the way        Calvin was quick to respond;          pus. Internationals can’t receive        their departments (especially if
to populate Calvin’s website                   I have been forced to (the answer,     when a st udent senate team           U.S. government money or draw            they dare be vocal), I shouldn’t
and brochures, the attractive                  by the way, is no)? What would         twice offended internationals         student loans. They have to pay          be surprised.
and close-to-American sound-                   you do if you were the only Other      and minorities ...                    extra in insurance and living                If you think I sound ungrate-
ing inter nationals made t he                  in a room full of people who are          At a systemic level, Calvin        needs (most of our parents don’t         ful, you’re not alone. When I
faces of Calvin to Friday’s stu-               either bashing your country or         policies assume that students are     live down the street). And we            suggest classes and curricula
dents? A re we allowed to be                   remaining silent? Or a class? Or       American.                             still have to scrape for the jobs        should take international stu-
other than happy, to voice our                 a meeting?                                I could take a semester in         left after the flurry of phone calls     dents’ English proficiency into
true feelings?                                    There are the strange, bewil-       Malaysia and receive cross-cul-       from Calvin alumni to get their          account, Americans say: “If they
    Or is that ... ungrateful?                 dering, and/or unsettling ques-        tural credit, while spending four     kids jobs.                               can’t understand English at a col-
    Being international at Calvin              tions:                                 years in American-Dutch Grand            Ever notice how most of the           lege level, they shouldn’t study in
has meant being Other, having                     Are you a hybrid Muslim-            Rapids doesn’t count. As if white     cleaning crew are international,         America.”
to constantly ask myself “Am I                 Christian? (I realise Asians make      America is “normal” and every-        racial minority, poorer, and out-            When I say how unfair it is
included?”                                     good hybrids, but still)               thing else is “cross-cultural.”       of-state students? Or that large         that Grand Rapids kids get all the
    Am I accepted?                                Do people in Malaysia have          Doesn’t that make me CCE?             chunks of dining services is the         desirable jobs: “So? That’s just the
    As Other, I do things wrong,               cars? Do they have the Internet?          Calvin offered 19 days of break    same? Heavily international-             way it works here.”
I say things wrong, I am wrong.                   Doesn’t everyone cross-dress        this Christmas. Flying back to        populated jobs tend to have three            Some seem to expect interna-
    I ’m d e f i n e d a s d i f f e r e n t   in Malaysia?                           Malaysia and back takes four days     things in common: they are ad-           tionals to grovel in their grati-
from the white, Dutch, Grand                      Some Americans seem to man-         and at least $2,000. Recovering       vertised, they require a lot of          tude that Calvin accepted them.
Rapidian. I am deviant; for that               ufacture foreignness in me. It’s as    takes about three, which leaves 12    manual labour, and the middle-           Shouldn’t they just shut up and
I am punished.                                 if they can’t fathom that I could      days of actual break. Did it occur    class Dutch kids don’t want them.        blend in, until we want them to
    I grew up speaking English,                be like them.                          to whomever designs the school        Shouldn’t that be part of Calvin’s       amuse us?
like my parents. I’m an English                   Some Americans, especially          year that some of us don’t live       admissions site?                             Am I ungrateful? This is the
major. My grammar and writing                  IDS majors, will insist on telling     within five hours’ travel?               Is it just me, or does it seem like   reality I’ve wrestled with for four
skills are better than the major-              me they really know Malaysia or           There are unwritten rules in       Calvin should help out those who         years, and even if it’s not quite
ity of Americans. But I don’t                  Southeast Asia because of the one      Calvin and America, and stu-          actually need help?                      as important as being able to not
speak with an Anglo accent, so                 year or month they spent there,        dents are expected to know them          International students make           have a roommate if I feel like it,
my English is “wrong.” I can’t                 or the class they took. My 18          or have access to people who do.      up 10 percent of the st udent            it’s close to my heart.
tell you how many conversations                years as a Malaysian? Apparently       Internationals don’t, but Calvin      population, representing about               I was promised a college that
have stalled against Americans                 meaningless.                           assumes we do.                        $12 million a year. So why doesn’t       would accept me as an interna-
who refuse to listen to what I’m                  “W h at wou ld you k now?              Calvin privileges informal         the Calvin administration seem           tional, not just academically but
saying instead of how I’m say-                 You’re foreign.”                       connections so highly, the who-       to care how we are treated in            as a full person. Four years and
ing it.                                           I’ve heard this spun so many        you-know mattering more than          their school?                            over a $100,000 later, I haven’t
     I used to drop the “h” in                 ways. They all sting the same.         what-you-know, that being in-            Most classes are run as if ev-        found it.
“three.” I had to change that,                    Asian males are seen as effemi-     ternational becomes a severe          eryone speaks English fluently.              I’ve had a good education in
because even if I said “That                   nate, techies, good at math, weak,     disadvantage. If you’re white,        And more, that they are famil-           Calvin. I’ve met, been taught
costs twenty-three thousand,”                  pathetic, lesser. Easy targets for     Dutch, Grand Rapidian, and            iar with American history and            by, and worked with and under
t he most com mon respon se                    white males, physically, and all       Calvin connected, you’re golden.      culture. Do you know how lost            wonderful people. But too often
would be “Huh? Twenty TREE                     whites, emotionally. People will       Internationals are bronze at best.    international students can get           I’ve done this despite being, not
thousand?”                                     speak their mind to Asian men             We’re left out of loops we don’t   when a professor says, “He was           because I am, inter national.
    When people start speaking                 in ways they wouldn’t to other         even know exist.                      the Stonewall Jackson of his             I’m not the only one; if you re-
slowly, as if talking to a child, as if        races, because Asians typically           No one explained to me how         time?” Or, “Like in Napoleon             place international with “gay,”
I can’t understand English either,             smile and take it. People will bully   American insurance worked.            Dynamite ...” I’ve tutored so            or “ethnic minority,” or “lower-
it gets to me. When people won’t               Asians, because we don’t fight         (Who was I going to ask? My par-      many students who spend hours            class,” there are many who know
stop making fun of my accent and               back. Where’s the voice saying:        ents, who are as baffled as me?)      slogging through novels and              at least something of what I’m
no one confronts the mockers, it               let’s not pick on the Asian?           No one explained that even after      complex pieces, and then have to         talking about.
gets to me.                                       Asian women, on the other           paying $1,000 for Knightcare, I       write a paper on it, only for their          There’s a saying: If you’re not
    Even using Britishisms, I’m                hand, are exotified and eroticised.    would fork out the same in de-        professors to say somet hi ng            Dutch, you’re not much.
told I’m wrong. When I spell in                Forget swine flu or mono, yellow       ductibles, or the American credit     like, “I don’t think you got the             At Calvin College, it’s true.

Royal wedding captivates with real life ‘Cinderella’ story
                                               age” the girl who lives a normal       Prince Charles. That was viewed       actual princess would be good            of the well-established Church
            by ola alabi                       life, happens to meet a swash-         on a black-and-white television.      enough.                                  of England. Food for thought: If
              staff Writer                     buckling fellow , genuinely falls      Now, I’m technically a soph-              On the other hand, William           America had a monarchy, would
                                               in love with him, and makes the        omore and watching via live           was looking extra dapper with            Christ be involved?
   Kate Middleton had better                   world stop to watch her matri-         stream. This ancestral watching       his 6-foot-3 frame adorned with             Either way, the dress is now
watch her back. No kidding.                    mony. Kate Middleton, or rather,       of royal weddings may be the only     thick red, black and gold fabric.        tucked away, the 5,000 peals
The plan was that I would marry                Princess Catherine, exemplifies        royal thing I pass down, unlike       Goodness, he must’ve been the            from the bells of London have si-
Prince William. I mean, it makes               that princesses are not born,          Kate and William.                     last person in the world to see his      lenced, the millions of people that
perfect sense that we would live               but made — a new franchise for             So with that historical mile-     bride walk up the aisle, accord-         ‘attended’ have returned home
a long and happy life together,                Disney, perhaps?                       stone in place, I continued to        ing to protocol! He looked regal,        and my calculus book has not
despite the 10-year age difference,               Now I’m not a sucker for love       monitor the perfectly executed        certain and determined, suited           studied itself. But here I sit, listen-
his balding gene and my random                 stories, princesses, royalty and       ceremony. I soon realized a few       to become a king one day. And            ing to my favorite British artist
existence. We could’ve made it                 such and such, but I couldn’t          things. Catherine’s dress was not     as she pulled up to his side, as         “Adele,” sappily singing along to
work, right? You better be saying              miss this one. I will not count the    only appropriate, it screamed         he whispered to her and a smile          her words: “I heard, that you’re
yes. And if you did say yes, you’re            hours of sleep I did not get April     subtle sexiness. It was a bold        formed on her perfect features,          settled down, that you found a
invited to that wedding — all                  29 just so I could watch the mar-      statement to the world. By her        my jealous stamp of approval and         girl and you’re married now. I
expenses paid.                                 riage ceremony. I will not think       calculated smile and wave, pos-       blessing was set (as if I matter, but    heard that your dreams came
   Okay, fine, let me not lie to               of the homework I didn’t do. Nor       ture and gestures, she told the       I like to think I do).                   true, guess she gave you things,
myself. The chance of a blissful               will I think of the hours of class I   world that she is candid, calm            As the service progressed, I         I didn’t give to you. Never mind,
marriage between me and the sec-               wasted daydreaming about genu-         and more than deserving of the        noticed that one surprising but          I’ll find someone like you, I wish
ond in line to the English throne              ine footage I was missing while        prince. By her request that their     satisfying aspect of the whole           nothing but the best for you two.”
is literally zero. Actually, the               my professor went on about para-       wedding presents be donations to      fairytale was the way in which              Prince William, this not a
chance that any of the hopeful,                metric equations or … wait, what       her favorite charities, she proved    the ceremony was conducted               shout-out from me; it is from mil-
average young women around                     was the topic? It was imperative to    that she’s not just after William’s   with strict, deliberate reference        lions of women around the world
would end up marrying a prince,                make a little historical milestone     title or the prestige of the Royal    to Jesus Christ by the Archbishop        who wish they could be what Kate
let alone a prince whose throne                for myself. You see, my parents        Family. By their two-time kiss        of Canterbury. Not just God or           is to you. Kudos to you and your
dates back to gazillion hundred                were sophomores in college when        on the balcony, she proved that       some higher being, to stifle every-      new bride for bringing a little bit
years ago, is next to none. You                they watched Prince William’s          her love was legit. A beautiful       one’s varying beliefs and world-         of sunshine to this increasingly
see, one should never call “aver-              mother, Princess Diana, marry          woman, a beautiful couple — no        views, but to Christ, the center         depraved world.
32   Photo Essay   C him es   May 6, 2011

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