Teen Management Advice and Self Determination Good grief, we need self-determination! Take time out for you. If you spend hours on in with your child without a break, it is likely you will make bad choices with raising your teenager. I am going to tell you a little secret. Children are skillfully aware. They observe almost every darn thing around them and retain information that sometimes pisses them off later. In other words, your teen will remember everything you say, or do. Mostly however, many teenagers will focus on your mistakes so they can hold it against you in the future to cover their mistakes. You can avoid. Help your child realize that like him or her, you are only a human being and that you will make mistakes. Help your child to see that mistakes are part of the learning process, rather than a torturous enemy that will hinder you from succeeding. Make allowances, and try to change your behaviors, conduct, habits, etc so that your teenager does not have ammunition to use against you later. Once you learn to reform your way of thinking, behaviors, habits, etc your child may follow your lead more willingly. Nevertheless, there is more. What about how you relate to your child? Let me bust on many parental and teachers mistake. Commonly, parents, teachers, and many others make the same darn mistake over, and over, and over, and over, and over again. Here is an outline of one of these mistakes: Mom – Teacher – Mary why are you not doing your homework, Mary – I do not understand math, Mom, dad, and teacher – the problem is you do not want to understand. Your problem is you give up – Big, major big mistake – Mary perhaps has a different way of learning skills that parents and teachers must explore to encourage Mary to learn. We all are different, which means we learn differently. The problem in this instance rests on the parents or teachers inabilities to relate to Mary, and to assess the situation more closely to help Mary complete math. Therefore, Mary is not in the wrong. On Mary’s behalf, I will say most parents or teachers will automatically punish Mary for not doing her math homework. What these parents and teachers are doing is discouraging Mary instead of giving her inspiration to understand the problems.Let us try it together using the same problem. Mom – Teacher – Mary why are you not doing your homework, Mary – I do not understand math, Mom and/or teacher – Mary, are you having problems with your math quiz? Mary – Yes, I do not understand math. The questions seem too hard. First, Mary is correct, since math questions are often misleading, since each answer is based on theories that present the closest answer to the problem. Therefore, what we need to do is help Mary understand the complications of math. What works for you, may not work for Mary, so keep this in mind when you are guiding Mary to find the answers. Keep in mind that Mary learns differently than you do. You want to keep in mind also that Mary may be dealing with several problems at school and with growing up. The changes can cause confusion for teenagers. Try to sit down and have a constructive talk with your teenager to clarify and make sure that the child’s emotional state is not cluttered. What I mean by cluttered is your child worried about something that may be bothering him or her? Does your child deal with peer pressure causing him or her to struggle with making good decisions? Do you leave room for your child to come to you when he or she needs help? Learn the rules of T.E.T. or teaching education training by focusing on each peer’s ability to learn. Let your child learn at his or her pace, rather than at your pace or understanding of learning.