SKIP Newsletter October 2009, Number 12 Positive parenting mosaic launched A huge beautifully crafted mosaic in a Wellington shopping centre is being used to encourage parents to use positive parenting. The mosaic was made as part of a positive parenting SKIP local initiative project run by Johnsonville-based organisation, Childspace Early Childhood Institute and supported by Save the Children. “We wanted to use a creative approach to provide positive parenting information,” says Childspace Director, Toni Christie. One parent said, “I liked hearing how other families deal with things. It made me feel better that my partner and I weren’t the only ones going through it.” “Creating a mosaic gave us an opportunity to talk in a relaxed way while also building our self-esteem and having a bit of fun. And, now we have a visual reminder that all the community can share.” “We shared with parents the six principles that children need to become happy, capable adults. They are love and warmth, limits and boundaries, consistency and consequences, talking and listening, guidance and understanding and a structured secure childhood,” Toni says. These positive parenting messages feature in the 2.5 metre square mosaic and was developed over an eight week period by 24 parents from Johnsonville and surrounding Wellington North suburbs. Whakawhanaungatanga — An opportunity to support SKIP parent educator Debbie Rewiri knows from her own experiences as a young mother how important it is for parents to get support. She credits a caring neighbour and Playcentre for changing her life. “As a runaway from the age of 12 years, I was determined to leave school and home as soon as I turned 15 years old. The school recognised I could succeed and tried to find ways to support me, but after a three month period the school principal begrudgingly signed my leaving certificate,” says Debbie. “I went straight to a hostel in Auckland, got work, met my partner and got pregnant. When I found out I was pregnant we moved to Rotorua to live in my parents’ house as all my family were living north of Auckland. “Suddenly, I was sixteen, at home with a baby, and isolated from everyone I knew. I attended antenatal classes but the other women were at least 10 years older than me and the neighbours were my parents’ age group and so kept their distance. When Debbie looks back she realises she was suffering from post-natal depression: “My partner was supportive, but we lacked the ability and insight to do anything, and anyway, everyone thought I was a ‘great mother’ because the house was spotless and so was my baby!” It was when Debbie was eighteen and living in Turangi that her neighbour took her under her wing and changed her life. “She heard me losing it one day as I was yelling and screaming at the kids. She came over and talked to me – named what she heard and suggested the next time I felt stressed, to send them over to her,” says Debbie. “She wasn’t judgemental and I trusted her. So I did send my son over and this was the start of a pattern where he would see I was getting stressed and escape by taking himself off to her house – while I had time out. “The other thing she did was take me by the hand to Playcentre. I was suddenly part of a lovely group of parents, all experiencing the same thing I was. “This was the beginning of a journey that would lead me into a variety of volunteer and paid work, learning about how children grow and develop and the importance of a child’s first three years, human relationships and how humaneness is a process that is learned. “I believe children deserve the best we can give them. I am passionate about my work because I know we can all be part of creating a better future for our children.” Debbie has a wealth of experience in facilitation, training, mediation and mentoring. She has been a facilitator in the Alternatives to Violence prison programme and a parent educator in the Parents as First Teachers programme in Turangi. In 2000 she became a specialist Ahuru Mowai and Born to Learn trainer for Family Start and Parents as First Teachers programmes, a role she continues to perform, as one of the leading trainers. She also provides training and provider support in the Atawhaingia te Pa Harakeke programme and is a Brainwave trust facilitator and SKIP trainer. Debbie has appeared on TVNZ’s Good Morning show talking about positive parenting, teen parenting, storytelling, stress, brain development, managing behaviour, supermarket survival and how to survive Christmas and school holidays. She is scheduled to appear in more parenting segments later this year. The relationships she formed 30 years ago continue today with the neighbour and the Playcentre parents. Te Aroha Noa sows seeds of change in Palmerston North families Many families in the Highbury suburb of Palmerston North credit a local organisation with helping them to build a safer neighbourhood and stronger local families. Director of Te Aroha Noa, Bruce Maden, says “We take a considered approach to working with families and the community. Everything we do, from building a park to providing parenting education is based on developing respectful relationships, trust and communication. The process is constantly analysed to make sure it is meeting the needs of the family.” In fact, the way Te Aroha Noa Community Services works with families is at the cutting edge of innovation in wha-nau and family practice. The theory and the process they use has now been documented in a research report by Te Aroha Noa staff in collaboration with researchers from the Social Work and Social Policy Programme at Massey University. The report The Spinafex Effect: Developing a theory of change for communities was funded by the Families Commission’s Innovative Practice Fund. Te Aroha Noa provides a blend of services that include early childhood education, child development, counselling, communitybased social work, an after-school activity service, adult learning and a second-hand clothing shop. The range of services Te Aroha Noa offers also includes activities like an annual camp at Foxton beach, monthly Family Fun Nights, Hāngi Nights, Family Resource Days to show parents what’s available to support them, and a School Expo to help parents with transitioning their children to school. Emma Mills provides an example of how Te Aroha Noa works. “I started helping in the kitchen when my children were here for play group – then I became a parent educator so I could understand more about child development. I had left school at 14, so when my children were old enough for school, I began taking adult education classes at the centre so I could help them with their homework. My next goal is to finish my certificate in Early Childhood Education.” Massey University Social Work Professor Robyn Munford says “Te Aroha Noa’s development of a theory of change is at the forefront of practice development and we believe the report will be a valuable resource for other community organisations wanting to learn from their experience.” Chief Commissioner of the Families Commission Jan Pryor says “There’s growing understanding of how important it is that community services be family-centred and that they draw on the strengths of their clients to work together to change aspects of their situation. It’s an issue that the Commission is passionate about and we are supporting several projects in this area.” The report has drawn on the spinafex plant as a metaphor because the spinafex thrives in difficult environments, grows beneath a turbulent surface to produce stability, sends out roots across a wide area – creating new growth. Which principle are you practising today? One of the key aspects of SKIP that Barnardos worked so hard to embed in its organisation, are the messages contained within the Six Principles. “It often became obvious within our organisation, that people who were not directly working with children and parents, or who did not have a component of parenting education as part of their job, couldn’t really see why they needed to pay special attention to SKIP or the Six Principles” said Jean Ellerby-Mutu, Barnardos SKIP Learning & Development Co-ordinator. Jean went on to say “We started to realise that these principles could also be applied when working with older children and in fact, ultimately that they applied to all relationships, not just adult to child. Jean became more inclined in conversations and workshops to ask people how they demonstrated these principles to their wives, partners, neighbours and work colleagues, and asked how they received guidance at work, or felt cared for and respected, or knew what the rules and boundaries were.” Suddenly the principles were alive for everyone. “Giving serious thought to how you demonstrate and model the principles was very entertaining. Some people had huge revelations and we had a lot of laughs particularly about how we often unknowingly relate to our partners” said Jean “What we are teaching; we need to be modelling, and we need to take time out to think about how we demonstrate these principles ourselves. You think you are aware of what you are doing, believe me, you are not!” Jean has recently been a part of developing SKIP resource pages on the Barnardos internal website. These are a great introduction to SKIP for all new staff joining the Barnardos team. “I’ve tried to make it relevant for everyone” says Jean, “whether you are a parent educator or working in accounts”. Below is an excerpt from the Six Principles page of their website: “Apart from using the Six Principles to support parents to build loving and well- functioning relationships with their children, we need to consider how we use these principles in all of our relationships…with our work colleagues, our partners, teenagers, friends and wha-nau. It may be helpful for example to make a list describing how you demonstrate the Six Principles in your relationships. 1 How do I demonstrate love and warmth? 2 Do I listen well and what behaviours do others see that demonstrate that I am listening? Do I talk clearly and ascertain that others have understood me? What is my tone of voice like? What is my body language communicating? Do I speak more respectfully to adults than to children? 3 How well do I explain things and offer guidance? What do I do that demonstrates understanding? 4 How do I decide what limits and boundaries I set for others? Do I negotiate these or set them myself? Am I clear about what other people expect from me? 5 Do I allow others to experience the consequences of their actions or do I always intervene and ‘rescue’? How do I demonstrate consistency or am I quite unpredictable at times? Do I follow through with what I say I will do? 6 How do I try to create a structured and secure environment not only for my family but also for my work colleagues and my friends? What things have I done to enable others to be more successful? Barnardos – quick tips on conscious parenting “If parents are more aware of how they parent and the impact this has on their children, then they are more likely to make changes,” says Jean Ellerby-Mutu, SKIP Learning and Development Coordinator for Barnardos. “By using each and every opportunity that we have, we can begin to move closer towards Barnardos and SKIP’s vision to have a society where all children can grow up with positive and loving relationships where their childhood is valued and their hope and potential are nurtured,” says Jean. “It’s hard to get people to change by just giving information. You have to reach people on an emotional level. I have found that when parents understand a child’s developmental stages this can bring a whole new perspective to a situation and can change the way parents view a situation”. Barnardos has developed these tips about how we can all help support parents: Create opportunities for parents • to get together and chat. Create more formal gatherings where families might watch a DVD and discuss it, participate in a workshop, hear a speaker or discuss concepts such as whakapapa, whanaungatanga or mana kainga in child rearing practices. Improve your knowledge about child development, parenting styles and positive discipline so that you can respond confidently to parents’ questions. Distribute parenting information, articles and posters to places where parents gather such as the sports club, library or local marae. Find out about SKIP resources and other resources that are available to support parents, and keep a good supply in our place of work or with us. Find out about Barnardos Parent Help Line (0800 4 PARENT) and get some of its pamphlets and fridge magnets for parents when their questions or problems are more complex than we can answer. Normalise parenting difficulties and let parents know it is OK to ask for help. Create opportunities for groups of parents and carers to discuss questions such as What do you want for your child in the future? What sort of childhood memories do you want your child to have? Start conversations with parents or carers like:Did you see that programme last night on TV about babies’ brain development? and share your learning! Glad to See You!! SKIP parenting messages are reaching a wide range of ethnic women in Hamilton according to SKIP co-ordinator for Shama Ethnic Women’s Centre Trust, Zinai Siviter. Shama provides support, advocacy and programmes to strengthen and empower all ethnic women in the Hamilton region. They have recently introduced a “Glad to See You” evening session that celebrates mothers and caregivers as champions. “It provides an evening forum for those unable to attend the Wednesday morning playgroup and parent support sessions and provides another opportunity to promote the SKIP positive parenting messages,” says Zinai. Fifty four mothers and grandmothers are attending the “Glad to See You” evenings representing a wide variety of ethnicities. These include people who are: Japanese, Columbian, Filipino, Chinese, Moroccan, Iraqi, Solomon Islands, Indian, South African, Malaysian, Korean, Hungarian, Pakistani, Papua New Guinean, and Nigerian. “Many ethnic mixes and languages make the progress slow but by providing larger, coloured pictures, action words or role play, it has helped mothers and caregivers gain confidence in conversation and comprehension. The group is also very supportive to those who don’t understand English. Activities for the evening included: • ‘Silly’ Games – fun games that reflect parenting style and portray childrens’ challenging behaviour, like popping a balloon with written directions inside for mothers to role play a parenting scenario. • A Cultural Presentation – this has given each culture an opportunity to present how they were disciplined and how they parent their own children. • Shared Dinner – sharing of ethnic dishes. • Open discussion and group work – ways to implement a SKIP strategy is discussed and reviewed at the next meeting. This has encouraged mothers to see the outcome of positive strategies. • Health and Fitness – Dancing exercise was added to finish the evening so mothers could feel rejuvenated and relaxed. The Trust’s SKIP playgroup runs on Wednesday mornings from 9.30-11.30. Activities include play activities for the children, shared morning tea, small discussion groups for the parents, and SKIP resources are given out. Three year funding available for established change makers The SKIP local Initiatives Fund is now able to fund community groups for a three year period. This new three year funding is available to community development projects that have already delivered three or more SKIP Local Initiatives. Many community organisations that have been delivering successful SKIP projects over a number of funding rounds have requested longer-term funding arrangements so they can meet the demand from the parents in their community for more SKIP project activities and for more long-term projects. Longer funding allows community organisations to plan for evolving projects and show a commitment to parents and community organisations that the projects will be there to follow up what they have begun. The current budget for the Local Initiatives Fund remains at $1.2M per year. This means we expect to fund each applicant in line with the level of funding they had received in their previous projects. All projects must have tangible, attainable goals that can be achieved by the completion of their project as three year funding is not the beginning of ongoing funding. To apply for three year funding eligible groups will need to apply through the normal SKIP LIF application funding rounds. They will then be assessed by the selection panel against additional criteria and priorities along with the applications from groups for 12 month and 18 month projects. You can see the additional criteria and priorities on our website www.skip.org.nz/funding The SKIP Bilingual Wall Frieze – More than something to brighten the bedroom wall! The 12 frames of the SKIP bilingual wall frieze show easy ways we can not only build a strong relationship with the newest member of our whānau but help to ‘wire their brain’. Most brain development takes place after birth, so we have many opportunities to help our baby develop a healthy brain. This will help them to reach their full potential in life. Through simple interactions and everyday experiences, using our five senses, we can stimulate our baby’s brain cells to connect into neural pathways. By repeating activities with our baby, particularly during the first three years, we help to strengthen these pathways and lay a foundation for all their future learning. Whether the connections are for learning mathematics or for loving relationships, they are strengthened simply through play and interaction, especially with people the baby knows and trusts. To order your copy of the SKIP bilingual wall frieze for under 2’s email email@example.com or fill out the order form on the back of this newsletter. Teach me about our family • Then I know I am not alone. • I learn best from the people who love and care about me – I’ve learned to trust them. • When I’m born I can easily learn two or more languages as long as I hear them spoken to me regularly. Tell me you love me • My early relationships affect all my future learning, growth and development. • Being touched and loved is essential to my healthy brain development. • I hear you best when you talk to me slowly and in a higher pitch – this is called ‘parentese’. Sing to me • It’s a lovely way to learn language and to learn about our culture and to have fun with you. • The repetition, rhythm and rhyme I hear when you sing attract my attention – I learn best when I’m interested (and when you make my life interesting!). Copy my sounds • When I talk to you and then you talk to me, I know we belong together. • My brain makes connections for language best when you talk to me face-to-face. • Sometimes I gurgle and babble and when you copy me you are teaching me about conversations. Tell me I’m wonderful • At birth my brain prefers the sound of human voices above all other sounds and I can recognise voices I heard when I was in the womb – I’ve made connections for that before I was born! • From birth to around 6 months I can hear and process any sound from any language in the world and after that, I’ll be ‘wired’ to respond to the languages our family speak. I love to learn • Everything I see, hear, smell, touch and taste helps my brain cells to connect up into pathways. • At birth my brain is unfinished. It needs lots of input from my world to connect and develop. Listen to me • I try and tell you how I’m feeling using my face, my body, my cries and other sounds. • When you respond lovingly to me it helps my brain make connections for handling my emotions and I learn to trust my world. I can watch • I will copy what I see you do and what I hear you say. • 80% of my learning comes from what I see. • By 12 months, my eyes, my hands and my brain are working together and I can see as well as most grown ups. Let me do things over and over again • Repeating experiences makes those pathways in my brain stronger. • Because of all those new connections being made, my brain is growing bigger. Give me things to play with • Whenever I’m playing, I’m learning! • My brain gets information as I explore things with my senses. I learn a lot in my first year about what things are by using my mouth! Make me feel special • I need to know that someone loves me, no matter what. • If I have learned to trust my world, I will be much more curious and confident to explore! • Stress is toxic to my brain, because stress hormones can destroy connections I’ve made. Read my favourite story again and again • I love knowing what’s going to happen next – I’m making new connections and strengthening the ones I’ve already made. • Connections in my brain for understanding language work better when I see the pictures and hear you talk about them at the same time. Conscious Parenting at Parents Centre Parents Centres across the country have been delivering Parenting with Purpose and Magic Moments for 24 months. The courses have been attended by over 250 parents. Developed by Parents Centres and supported by the SKIP team these programmes introduce the concept of positive parenting techniques. The nine weekly sessions allow parents to share their stories and experiences and to explore positive ways of interacting with their child or children together. Parents are encouraged to reflect on how they were parented and then to consider how they are now consciously parenting – are their techniques working and what is working well? Parents Centres has the largest parenting based infrastructure across New Zealand and the benefits of these programmes include the opportunity for ongoing support networks for parents to create the right environment for positive parent techniques. “During the development of the programmes we recognised that it’s never too late to explore new methods of parenting and that it is a life-long skill but “getting it right” from the start is important,” says Viv Gurrey, CEO of Parents Centres. “One of the real strengths of the programmes is that they allow people the time and space to reflect on themselves and their parenting styles. Discovering and exploring alternative ways of disciplining children along with learning about positive coping strategies features strongly throughout the programmes. “Creating an opportunity for parents to come together to share their stories has been exciting and rewarding.” The following feedback was collected from courses in Otago and Invercargill: • “It opened my eyes to the importance of spending quality time together as a family” • “Every parent in New Zealand should do this course and that it should be run every night in the town hall so everyone gets to come!” • “The most important thing I learned from this programme was how important my role as a parent is in shaping the person my child will grow to be.” • “I really realised that I have an effect on my children – more than just as a parent.” • “I learned the need to work at our relationship is very important but it is also important to spend time on you as a parent.” • “I recognised that stressful situations as a parent are unavoidable but I learned ways I could manage them better.” • “The group’s discussion was brilliant. I realised that discipline should have a positive outcome – punishment is negative, understanding that discipline and punishment are different. I discovered what type of parent I am.” • “I learned strategies for coping with inappropriate behaviour and consequences and problem solving techniques. I enjoyed learning about creating opportunities for my child to make positive decisions by themselves.” For more information go to: parent centre website www.parentscentre.org.nz Catching the Wave Tokoroa mother of three and wife to the local police officer, Deborah King writes of the transforming experience she had attending a SKIP training course recently. “Smacking was the only way I knew how to discipline my children, and they are very well mannered and are a blessing to our family, so the last thing I thought I needed was a parenting course,” Deborah says. “I’d heard about the SKIP course because it is so widely advertised here in our town, but hadn’t done anything about it until Jenny approached each and every one of us at a family fun day at the pool. “It was an absolute eye opener for me I was really surprised at how wrong I was, even though my children are well behaved and pleasant.” “I’ve learnt so much more about myself as a parent. Things would have been very different with my two older children if I had the information from this course then. If all parents could get SKIP training then a generation could be changed, and our young people would become not only be better parents but better people in general. “This journey has impacted my life so much so that there are areas in my life that will never be the same. “I feel very strongly that all parents should have the opportunity to attend this course. It is vital that we equip our children with the tools to be parented positively and this has to start with the parents of today. “Attending this training has been a real privilege. It might be a small ripple in the pond but in my pond this course was a very big wave.” Tikanga Māori and positive parenting Conversations about positive whānau relationships were the motivation behind a Korowai wānanga held in the far North town of Taipa earlier this year. The SKIP funded project wove a tikanga Māori perspective on positive parenting throughout the wānanga while learning the historical methods of making feather cloaks. Wānanga organiser Whaea Eleanor Cope-Albert says, “We had a safe environment so the whaea me ngaa tamariki could korero, cry, laugh and work through issues they were dealing with alone.” “Having busy hands allowed the conversation to flow across topics like how children cope with their parents broken relationships, bullying of siblings, dealing with tantrums and young children soaking up all the parents’ attention.” Several parents were able to address significant parenting concerns and take new action with their children during the wa-nanga with the support of other weavers. A core group of ten women attended all of the sessions with a further 20 parents joining in some sessions throughout the week. The wānanga has inspired the group to continue learning the tikanga and art of korowai weaving and to form an ongoing korowai class to give women and their whānau support in the issues they are dealing with as parents and grandparents. “It provides an excellent forum for wha-nau to share their thoughts and personal experiences about being a parent in a caring environment while learning more about the korowai taonga, says Whaea Eleanor. The wānanga was one of a series of eight positive parenting activities the pepi patch are delivering over 2009. To find out more visit www.pepipatch.webs.com Call Me Dad ‘Call Me Dad’ is a book, by dads, for dads who want encouragement and advice about parenting. It’s packed with information on everything from pregnancy and preparing for the baby, to the end of that first unbelievable year. Scott Lancaster, Eric Mooij and Stefan Korn are the directors of DIYFather, a global organisation for fathers that was set up in response to a lack of parenting advice or support geared towards men. In this book, the authors draw on their own experiences as well as tips from other fathers. ‘Call Me Dad’ provides helpful advice about all aspects of being a dad, such as: • What to expect during pregnancy: Antenatal classes, medical appointments, birth plans and preparing for the big day. • Working out the logistics: Deciding who’s going to look after the baby, where the baby will sleep, what essential items you need to buy and what not to buy. • Surviving the birth: what you can expect and where you fit in as a dad during labour. • Life after birth: how to survive the first days when you don’t have a clue what you’re doing! Suggestions for what you can do to support your partner. • Establishing routines: Feeding, sleeping and hygiene tips and techniques. • Different exercises you can try with baby at different stages, from baby massage to playing catch. Find out more at www.diyfather.com Warehouse parents doing OK “What do you want your children to remember about you?” was the question for men at the Warehouse North Island Distribution Centre (DC) in South Auckland recently, asked by SKIP parent educator Alfred Ngaro. In September last year he facilitated work-based discussions about being a dad with dads at the DC, as part of a joint project between SKIP, The Warehouse and DIY Fathers. These sessions led to dads sharing their stories and photos for a booklet which was distributed free throughout Warehouse stores to celebrate Fathers Day 2008. The project was so successful the Warehouse distributed the booklet through its stores again for this year’s Fathers Day. And, the project was also extended to include follow-up parenting sessions for all the men working at the DC. The sessions ran during June and were facilitated by Alfred and SKIP parent educator Vicky Ellison. As part of the sessions they used the old hand game – ‘rock, paper or scissors?’ except this time it was ‘rock, paper or tree’ as images for the Dads to think about the way they parented. “We asked them to each think about their own personal ‘Daddy Stylz’. Were they ‘rock’, paper’ or ‘tree’?” says Vicky. “‘The rock’ represented a very authoritarian or strict style where there are lots of orders and heaps of rules with very little room for any negotiation. ‘The paper’ represented the opposite, just like tissue paper – not very substantial, characterised by a lack of limits and boundaries, and a tendency to ‘give in’ easily. The ‘tree’ was used to represent a style which is solid and grounded but also has the ability to be flexible and open to discussion when necessary.” “We also got the guys to think about where most of their influence and support for their role as dads comes from. These discussions showed how our own families and personal experience influence how we are as dads, and how our own ‘Daddy Stylz’ impacts on our children’s development and behaviour in different ways.” “The Warehouse understands that staff wellbeing is affected by many factors, including family life. It is impressive that the Warehouse is doing something practical to help promote a positive family life,” says Vicky. Stuart Dunn, National Manager – Operations Support at the Warehouse’s North Island Distribution Centre was pleased to support the work: “It has been a real pleasure to be involved in this initiative between SKIP and The Warehouse. The DC dads found the discussions very useful. The great thing that comes out of these sessions is that they all have something in common, that is, that they are all fathers or prospective fathers,” says Stuart. Feedback from dads includes: “I have been a dad for a long time but now I realise I have to give more.” “Attending these DC Dads sessions made us all realise the effect we have on our children and how we can alter the way our kids grow up.” And, mums haven’t been left out. The mums who work at the Apparel Distribution Centre and North Island Distribution Centre were so impressed with the DC Dads project they asked Warehouse Management when it was ‘their turn’. So Alfred and Moka Ngaro facilitated sessions with over 120 mums so they too could share their ideas and experiences of motherhood. Their stories and photos will become a resource for other New Zealand mums and will be launched in partnership with the Warehouse later this year. To find out more about the Warehouse DC Dads or the DC Mums project please contact Victoria Parsons at: firstname.lastname@example.org Community Conversations The SKIP team is trying new ways to share positive parenting messages with communities. Our annual survey of parents shows that parents often seek parenting advice from early child education centres and from local health practitioners. SKIP hopes to support these groups by encouraging ways people can get together and discuss key parenting ideas. This idea is in the very early stages and the only locality that has had a group conversation so far is Nelson. Barnardos, Plunket, Family Start Trust and the Nelson Kindergarten Association worked together to hold community conversations on the topics: “The difference between punishment and discipline” and “The things that babies need in their first year”. Feedback has been good and participants have shared a range of interesting ideas and views. If you would like to find out more about the Community Conversation projects contact Carmel Irwin: email@example.com Books for kids Check out this website for a list of behaviour books for children. The children’s books are stories that look at different emotions. Reading these books with their children gives parents a chance to think about emotions and behaviour from their child’s point of view! http://webserver.mcl.org/ys/bibbehav.html Quick Tip Te Aroha Noa was wondering how to engage with parents and emphasise SKIP messages at a Funky Monkeys’ performance. They came up with this great idea: Every adult at the event was given a sealed envelope with SKIP messages inside – and be asked to put that message into practice for the rest of the day!
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