The NY Times and Playboy magazine have merged. The new slogan is "All the nudes that are fit to print." Volume 28 Issue 2 WWW.Mainlands5.com February 2012 BOARD OF DIRECTORS Donna Massey, President deal of the property. It could also result in a legal issue if someone was injured. The so- lar system has paid for itself, and really pro- The front entrance to Mainlands remains a vided for a much more usable pool. We will work in progress. The back of the monu- keep the residents informed on our progress. ments was painted and looks a great deal better. The Master’s Association is in the House washing is scheduled to begin the process of approving landscaping the area. end of January, weather permitting, in Phase Several landscapers have presented plans, III. Please cooperate by removing plants but no agreement was reached at the last and furniture, as necessary. The Daly Master' meeting. s Group, as well as the Homeowners Board, Many of the palm trees in the medians are will not be responsible for items not moved decaying and, therefore, will have to be re- that are damaged from the cleaning solu- placed. The Master’s began discussing a tion. plan. It was decided to have the county ex- Nate Andersen is working hard to get our tension office look at the trees, and advise lawns in top condition. He has had several if they have a disease or old age. To re- meetings with Ameri-Pride to prevent the place all of the trees would cost about influx of bugs and disease after the winter $100,000. So, we will await advice from cold. He is in the process of checking sprin- the County, and then prepare a plan to re- klers to try to get all of them in working place a few at a time, pending the results of condition. their evaluation. Just a reminder, if you see sprinklers work- The roof over the shuffleboard court is ing improperly, please call the Mainlands rusting and when it rains, the courts be- Office, not Nate. He cannot repair the prob- come wet. In part this is due to the solar lem, so he would have to call the office. If panels. When the panels, which are full of you call the repair in, it should be com- pool water that contains chlorine, wet the pleted more quickly. aluminum roof, a chemical reaction occurs. Chlorine is a very corrosive chemical and We again have a problem with Mainlands can destroy most anything it touches. Boulevard in Unit V with the asphalt slip- Mike Finkelstein is presently working to s ping. The Master' Association has decided find a solution to this dilemma. There is to have an engineer examine the undercar- no other place to put the panels and get the riage of the road, and then proceed with re- maximum effect. If placed on the ground, pairs as necessary. the trees would block a high percentage of The use of a camera to examine the sewer the sunlight, and it would take up a great lines by the City of Pinellas Park is pro- Page 2 FIVE’S FORUM BOARD OF DIRECTORS (cont.) Klatch for $4.00. gressing nicely under Tom Punton’s leader- ship. To date, several small problems have On Saturday, March 10th, we are having an been noted. When the process is complete, individual garage sale. These garage sales we will then get prices to do the necessary s will be at each individual' home. For de- repairs. tails, there is a sign-up sheet on the bulletin board in the Clubhouse. You must see Ra- A new Welcome Committee was formed chel O'Hara for details. with Stuart Hoff as the Chairperson. If you have suggestions for this committee, please The February Social Club speaker will be contact Stuart. We will be giving more in- Pinellas County Deputy Denise Nestor. formation as this process progresses. Please attend your Social Club meetings on the 3rd Tuesday of every month. Let' help s In closing, all vendors who do work in the "Keep Unit Five Alive". You can achieve Mainlands must have identification on their this with your volunteer help to keep things vehicles. This helps to insure that all ven- going forward for you and your neighbors. dors are licensed and insured. If an unli- censed vendor is found to be working in the GRAPES ON THE VINE county, the vendor can be fined, as well as the homeowner who employs them. This is The New Year 2012 was ushered in by 54 very important at this time of the year, since people at the Clubhouse - snacking, drink- non-licensed contractors have taken advan- ing, and dancing to the music provided by tage of many homeowners, The Mainlands our own Tom Perry. Apparently, all had fun, Office has a list of licensed and insured ven- while the rest of us did our own thing, i.e., dors, and would be happy to give you infor- going to bed early? Some of the women mation on your contractor. encircled John Myers and danced around him - bet he loved the attention! Also SOCIAL CLUB heard, John had the great pleasure of danc- Jack Hersh, President ing with “the ol hen” as she calls herself, Looking forward to our upcoming events, Julia Miglin. She sure has the energy. we will enjoy our Free Pizza Party on Satur- Hopefully next New Year’s Eve will entice day, February 18th at 4:00 p.m. We have a more people to join the party!! Think about great group coming in to entertain us. The it!! We were concerned that Koffee Klatch Free Pizza Party is for Unit 5 residents only. wouldn’t be held, but true to the Unit 5 There is a sign-up sheet on the bulletin motto “Keep Five Alive,” Dick and Marilyn board in the Clubhouse. Please sign up so McKelvey and Howard Biggs stepped up to we will know how many pizzas to order. the plate. A BIG Big thank you! Seen at one of the Koffee Klatch mornings were In March, our Italian Nite will be on Sun- Carol and Larry Lillie, Rachel and Jim day, March 25th at 4:00 p.m., and again fea- O’Hara, Bob and Audrey Litchfield, Joe Se- turing the Italian Dancers direct from pic, Nate Andersen, John and Betty Myers, Naples. Tickets will be on sale at Koffee Mary Bachman, Kay Edwards, and Mary- Page 3 FIVE’S FORUM GRAPES ON THE VINE (cont.) back from a much-needed vacation in Mi- Ann Hill. Don MacAuley was there minus ami. Seen at PoFolks was Eva Barker with his “rib,” Paula, who was in Boston helping Inez Wyatt. Were you enjoying the all-you- her sister. He even celebrated his birthday can-eat fried fish? Yummy! without her. HAPPY BELATED 85TH Don! Others at the KK were Jean and Whitey YOGA Williams, Jack Mischler, Mike and Nadine Berny Bates Finklestein, the Boudreaus (Charlie cele- brated his birthday also). Saw Lola Perfetti, January was a very busy month for yoga. Elaine Waldschmidt, Carol Zaborowski, Reporters and photographers have been the Norm Doucette, Frank Weigel, Carol Will, norm - from Channel 13 in Orlando, to Ten- Jim Murray, Ed Wisner, Millie Dubois, and nessee and California (the yoga teacher is Eleanor Molewski. Wow! Frank Schworer writing a book on yoga). Snapshots of our was seen walking to KK in shorts. Where do classes have appeared in numerous periodi- you think you are… in warm and sunny cals, including the AAA magazine. Florida? One must know that Frank is from the cold north. We had the pleasure to meet Attendance has increased since we opened the newlyweds and new residents, Morris up our yoga classes to all of the Units in and Gracie Cornelius. May you have many Mainlands. My sincere thanks to all of the more happy and healthy years together, and students - you share in and are a motivating welcome to Unit 5! MaryAnn Hill was force behind the Guinness achievement and showing everyone the picture of the newly certificate. born quarter horse named after her: Mary- Ann Streaking. Please MaryAnn, don’t get For those of you who have not yet taken the any ideas about streaking yourself! Wel- opportunity, drop in for a class (check the come back home, Chris Jerie, from celebrat- schedule on the Forum calendar), and see ing the holidays with family in Maryland, how yoga may improve the quality of your and also to Birgetta Schuster who visited life. family in California. Heard that Lee Se- abury celebrated her “39th birthday. SHUFFLEBOARD Thought one had to be 55 to reside here. Mary Allmeyer Seen at the Social Club meeting were new- bies Larry and Marilyn Jackson. Welcome! We played LaPlaza on January 12th.. Win- Game night is growing: additional players ning both games were John Robinton, Betty included Bridget Kindel with friend Al, and Harper, Young Pat Fabisiak, Carol Robinton Lola Perfetti with friend Ted, also Regina and Caryl May. Lancaster, and Ann and Fran Quinn. The more the merrier. The current tragedy in It- Thanks to John Robinton for painting the aly hasn’t dampened Erna Thayer’s plans to League scoreboard. It was in pretty bad cruise the Caribbean. Hope you have a shape, and now it looks like new. Also, great time. Jack and Barbara Hersh are John is providing a detailed schedule of our Page 4 FIVE’S FORUM SHUFFLEBOARD (cont.) Tom Perry with a 206 and Dina Oertli with weekly games and standings. It is a more a 220 game are the individual scratch high comprehensive list, and we really appreciate game second half stars. the added information. Mary has posted it on the shuffleboard courts'bulletin board, Other noteworthy accomplishments in the and we all thank John for the time and work second half: he put into it. High scratch series th, On Jan. 19 we played the first place team, Women — Dawn Perry 527 East Bay Oaks. We lost 18-14, but against Men – Stuart Hoff 564 that team we felt pretty good with the score. We had another first victory: Con- High handicap series gratulations to Mike Tehonica for winning Women – Connie Shildt 701 s his first League game. That' always excit- Men – Charlie Boudreau 712 ing, not only for him, but for the whole team. Steve Zebos and Mary Allmeyer won There are still ten weeks remaining in the both games. season. If you have thought about giving it a try, now would be a perfect time, since BOWLING your commitment would be limited. Who Tom Perry knows, you might like it enough to come back for more ! As attributed to Yogi Berra, “It’s déjà vu all over again.” MOVIE NIGHT Dottie Liskow Here we are, five weeks into the second half of the season, and the Aces, first half cham- Friday, February 24th at 7:00 PM pions, are again in the lead. The combina- tion of Connie Shildt, Judy Bowman, Norm “SALT” starring: Angelina Jolie and Liev Doucette and Bud Weber has proved to be Schreiber formidable. It will take a combination of luck and skill to catch and pass them in the It’s a thriller!!! After Evelyn Salt is accused remaining weeks. of being a Russian sleeper spy who actually is a rogue CIA agent, she goes Three of the teams within eight points of on the run, using numerous tactics, accents, first place are the High Rollers, with Unit and disguises. Five residents Shelba Santelli and Bob Litchfield, the Noshing Gators, with Dale Free movie, snacks, just bring a cushion for Butters and Charlie Boudreau, and the Ten comfort and something to drink. Pins, led by Dina Oertli, Tom Perry and Mike Tehonica. SEE YA AT THE MOVIES!!! Page 5 FIVE’S FORUM GOLF (9-hole Tuesdays at Cypress is sharing the wonderful weather and com- Links) panionship with good people. I will play Stuart Hoff again…..as soon as the wounds heal ! Press time prevents our being able to share The league tournament will begin in Febru- the results of our Golf Fun Day scramble on ary, and continue for six weeks. For those Sunday, January 29th at Cypress Links. This people who stay around through the spring much is definite: people will have a good and/or summer, we will discuss trying to put time, a lot of pizza and wings will be eaten, together a schedule of courses to play to soft drinks and beer will be consumed in broaden our horizons. quantity, and “woulda’, coulda’, shoulda’ will be the oft-heard phrases in the post- BEARS CREATIONS mortem. Kathy Bortscheller The league tournament gets underway on Would you be willing to take an hour or two Tuesday, February 7th. The fall/winter sea- of your time to donate to a worthy cause ??? son will culminate with our annual banquet We are working on creating bears for cancer at The Wine Cellar on Wednesday, March patients at St. Anthony’s Hospital in St. Pe- 21st, at which time tournament champions tersburg, FL. These bears go the NEW can- will be recognized and prize money distrib- cer patients. We will meet the 4th Monday in uted. We will also hold our first elections in the month (February 27th). We meet at the the last 12 or 13 years at the banquet. Inter- Clubhouse from 12:30 pm to 2:30 pm. We ested parties should contact Carol Stevens, trace bear patterns onto material, and also Lola Perfetti or Stuart Hoff. Carol, Lola and stuff bears. Please join us for this very good Nate Andersen hope to work on bringing the cause. League By-Laws up to date with suggested modifications that can be discussed at or be- fore the banquet. FAITH-BASED HELPING HANDS GROUP GOLF (9- and 18-hole Thursdays at Chuck Graham Mainlands Golf Course) Stuart Hoff Our group meets the first and third Wednes- day of each month, 2 - 4 PM, in the Club- In next month’s Forum, I should be able to house office, and everyone is welcome to report the results of the first annual U.S. vs. attend. Canada Challenge Cup matches, which took place across 3 weeks in January. I did my Our meeting on January 18th was a great part to insure positive relations with our success, with 10 members in attendance, in- friends to the North by enduring what can cluding our newest member, Rev. Don only be described as “a humiliation whip- Lunsford. We had an open discussion on ping.” The saving grace of the game of golf the following: Page 6 FIVE’S FORUM FAITH-BASED HELPING HANDS (on a chilly Friday) made by some of our GROUP (cont.) members. It’s nice to be able to count on How Tim Tebow is doing more for Christi- the members, and Carol Zaborowski’s hos- anity and our great nation than some of our pitality committee to do a great job. Girls, Pastors, religious leaders and politicians. thanks for the food. We discussed how the Mormon religion Our February 11, 2011, meeting is our an- has evolved over the years and is considered s nual President' Luncheon, when the Presi- a Christian religion. dents and Vice Presidents from the other Units are our guests. It should be a fun time, We discussed the possibility of changing because Elvis will be in the building. (Bruce our name to "Helping Hands Bible Study Nye, Elvis impersonator). At this meeting, Group," and the possibility of inviting all we ask the members to bring a salad of your residents of Mainlands to attend our meet- choice to share with all. We will provide ings. rolls, dessert, coffee and tea. Sign up with Gert and pay your dollar for a great time. Our February meetings will be on the 1st and the 15th, and we will discuss the follow- We have formed a nominating committee, ing: chaired by Carol Stevens. Please think about volunteering for the Board for next Overcoming recent laws and regulations re- year. We need you. Give Carol a call, and stricting Christian groups from meeting. she will find a spot for you. What is the job of the ACLU? Remember: Board meeting January 31, 2011, after Koffee Klatch. See you all at If you need help that is within our means, the February meeting. call any of our group members. MEN’S CLUB Spotted on a church marquee: "Love your Jim Murray enemies; after all, you made them." Our next meeting will be held on Tuesday, WOMEN’S CLUB February 7th at 6 PM. We have the meeting Nadine Finkelstein first, and then enjoy a delicious dinner pre- pared by our resident chef, Don MacAuley Our January meeting was very interesting and his staff. It is most important that if you and successful, thanks to Joanne Hannon, plan to attend, that you sign up - in ad- Dorothy Frommer and Betty Myers. Joanne vance - on the bulletin board, so that he has was the organizer and MC of a “This is an accurate number of attendees. Your Life” segment on Betty’s and Doro- s thy' careers. Who knew we had such talent We had three new members at our January and celebrities in our midst ? Girls, thanks meeting, giving us a total of ten new mem- for the memories. We also had great chili Page 7 FIVE’S FORUM MEN’S CLUB (cont.) some of our newer residents who have been bers so far this year. If not a member – busy getting moved and settled. come, meet and enjoy the friendship of the men in Unit 5. All male residents of Unit 5 Today, I went outside to get my newspaper; are invited to join the Men’s Club. The water was running down our street. Look- membership dues are $15 a year, and that ing down the street, the water seemed to be includes a delicious dinner each month s coming out of a neighbor' garage. The (September through May). house had been vacant for several months. Nobody had turned the water off ! A broken Mark your calendars for Sunday, March water line, or a leaking water heater ?? I 18th, when we will be having our St. Pat- t looked for the shut-off valve - I didn' see rick’s Day celebration. Also in the planning it. Neither the Block Captain nor the stages are a Sports Day and a day at the neighbors had a key. I went to the Club- racetrack. house - no key in the file ! Fortunately, Bob Litchfield was at the Clubhouse, and he PANCAKE BREAKFAST came over, found the shut-off valve and he John Adamec and Jim Bortscheller got the water turned off ! s It' January, and all the snowbirds are back. We did a fantastic job again. Our The people who are buying the house had numbers this season have increased every come by yesterday, and being a nosy month. Bud Stemm attributes the increase neighbor, I had gone over to welcome them to the number of signs we put out. Fran to Unit Five. They left me their name and a s Schworer say it' because she and Frank are phone number, so I was able to call them working. Whatever it is, I hope it contin- this morning. The water mostly damaged s ues. We beat last year' figure by 38, for a only the laundry area; it could have been grand total of 244 meals. Frank Schworer worse. and Stuart Hoff ran their butts off, doing anything and everything to help. We have Moral of the story: Turn your water off an excellent crew, no make that a fantastic when you leave…even for a few days, and t crew. I can' praise them enough. It takes certainly if going away for an extended every one of them to make this event a suc- time. And, complete an Emergency Notifi- cess. I thank each an every one of you. cation Form (forms and a box to leave the completed form in are near the bulletin INCIDENT AND A REMINDER board in the Clubhouse). Leave a key with Joanne Hannon, Unit Five Secretary someone and/or in the file in the Clubhouse. I was thinking it was time to write some- Oxymoron s thing for the Five' Forum about completing an Emergency Notification Form, as some Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball residents have not done that…especially game" when we are already there? Page 8 FIVE’S FORUM DIAL DIRECTORY GARAGE SALE Dottie Liskow Rachel O'Hara Beech, Suzanne & Richard We will be having a garage sale in partici- 9055 38th Lane pating homes on Saturday, March 10th, from Tel # 813-785-7509 8:00 AM to 3:00 PM. There will be a sign- up sheet on the bulletin board in the Club- Cornelius, Morris & Gracie house. If you want to take part, please sign 9307 41st Way up with your name and telephone number, Tel # 812-887-3191 so that we can track how many homes will be involved. Fuentes, James & Melinda 9045 40th Way COMMUNITY CONCERNS Tel # 577-7913 Paula MacAuley Grossman, Harry Get Well cards were sent to: 4039 93rd Terrace Tel # 224-5983 Carol Stevens Thelma Clark Lane, Lorraine & Paul Dewey Wilson 9304 41st Way Tel # 8277308 A Sympathy card was sent to the Duvall family, on the death of Jim Pellerin, Betty 9204 41st Way ALUMINUM CANS Tel # 579-3976 Jim Bortscheller VanDusen, Dennis The Men’s Club collects only aluminum 9212 42nd St cans for recycling. Please put in garbage Tel # 367-9533 cans provided by the back of kitchen door area. Please do not throw them behind the Add Tel # for air conditioner. No plastic bottles, paper, Schwartz, Gregory metal cans or glass bottles. Thank you very 816-421-4657 much for your cooperation. Change Tel # Questions That Haunt Me Jolicoeur, Albert & Lois Tel # 954-6194 Can you cry under water? The new Dial Directory should be ready If electricity comes from electrons, does shortly. morality come from morons? Page 9 FIVE’S FORUM REFLECTIONS OFF THE TOP To give to others but also to accept help Stuart Hoff gracefully To make changes for the better when possi- We are working on trying to improve the ble, knowing that those changes can become process by which new residents are brought ever-widening circles - but if they don' t, into the community. To that end, I would s that' okay too like to speak with up to five residents who That depression is lightened by doing some- have moved into Unit Five within the last thing nice for someone 12 months. This can occur as a one-on-one That our minds and bodies are intertwined (or one-on-two) or as a group discussion, and that positive thoughts influence our whichever is more comfortable. Since you bodies in beneficial ways have most recently experienced this, your t That life isn' always smooth but the rough feedback will be very valuable in trying to spots bring greater appreciation for the good determine what needs to be done, as well as times what needs to not happen. Please either e- To not live in the past, but to profit from the mail me at email@example.com, or call past while living in the present and the fu- me at 579-4060 to indicate your interest in ture participating. Hopefully, we will all benefit from the dialogue. Learn To Create Your Own Happiness The January 25th edition of the Tampa Bay The consensus of the elders is that we can't Times mentioned a project at Cornell Uni- wait for external events to bring about hap- versity called The Legacy Project. From in- piness. They suggest we can make a choice terviews with older Americans, a professor re not to brood negatively about life. If you' has written a book entitled 30 Lessons For struggling and need a lift, consider these Living: Tried and True Advice from the statements from The Legacy Project elders: Wisest Americans. I went to the website (legacyproject.human.cornell.edu), and it I have learned the importance of getting out offers the ability to search by topic. I chose and doing things and making friends wher- several at random, and some are worth shar- ever you are, and not feeling sorry for your- ing: self (Juan, 71). s Matilda' Lessons For Living, Peaceful And I had a very rough life, and it would take me Poetic (Matilda is 78) hours just to tell you what has gone on in my life. You just have to pull up your boot Over my life, I have learned: straps and keep on going. You have to ve make up your mind, you' either got to live To see the fun in the world instead of dwell- s one way or the other, it' your choice ing on the unhappy things (Laverne, 82). To be involved is to feel useful and fulfilled To have love for others is to receive love Here is what I have learned: I came into this Page 10 FIVE’S FORUM REFLECTIONS OFF THE TOP (cont.) yer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, world with nothing, my experiences are and comes down with four?" The lawyer only mine and I will leave this world with uses his laptop to search all references he nothing. The only one I can change is my- can find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all self. You must learn to create your own the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. happiness; you cannot depend on others to After an hour of searching, he finally gives do this for you (Cheryl, 86). up. He wakes the senior and hands him $500.00. The senior pockets the $500.00 t Don' brood on any past shortcomings or and goes right back to sleep. The lawyer is failures. Learn what you can from them, re- going nuts not knowing the answer. He solve to do better, and live on (Jerome, 69) wakes the senior up and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and Anyone interested in the creation of a Unit comes down with four?" Five Legacy Project ? The senior reaches into his pocket, hands JOKE the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep. A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next Questions That Haunt Me to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable dumb that he could get one over on them oil is made from vegetables, what is baby easily. So, the lawyer asks if the senior oil made from? would like to play a fun game. The senior is tired and just wants to take a If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy nap, so he politely declines and tries to t all that ACME stuff, why didn'he just buy catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, dinner? saying that the game is a lot of fun...."I ask t you a question, and if you don' know the s If the professor on Gilligan' Island can answer, you pay me only $5.00. Then you t make a radio out of a coconut, why can'he t ask me one, and if I don'know the answer, fix a hole in a boat? I will pay you $500.00," he says. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the s This catches the senior' attention and, to carpool lane? keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game. The lawyer asks the first question. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why s "What' the distance from the Earth to the is there a stupid song about him? t Moon?" The senior doesn'say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five- Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer. re Why are you IN a movie, but you' ON s s Now, it' the senior' turn. He asks the law- TV?
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