How to Tell the Difference Between Democrats and Republicans by lanyuehua


									How to Tell the Difference
Between Democrats and

1. Democrats buy most of the books that       7. Republicans tend to keep their shades
   have been banned somewhere.                   drawn, although there is seldom any
   Republicans form censorship                   reason why they should. Democrats
   committees and read them as a group.          ought to, but don’t.

2. Republicans consume three-fourths of       8. Republicans study the financial pages of
   all the rutabaga produced in this             the newspaper. Democrats put them in
   country. The remainder is thrown out.         the bottom of the bird cage.

3. Republicans usually wear hats and          9. Republicans raise dahlias, dalmations,
   almost always clean their paint brushes.      and eyebrows. Democrats raise
                                                 Airedales, kids, and taxes.
4. Democrats give their worn-out clothes to
   those less fortunate. Republicans wear     10. Democrats eat the fish they catch.
   theirs.                                        Republicans hang them on the wall.

5. Republicans employ exterminators.          11. Democrats make up plans and then do
   Democrats step on the bugs.                    something else. Republicans follow the
                                                  plans their grandfathers made.
6. Democrats name their children after
   current popular sports figures,            12. Republicans sleep in twin beds – some
   politicians, and entertainers.                 even in separate rooms. That is why
   Republican children are named after            there are more Democrats.
   their parents or grandparents, according
   to where the most money is.

                                              Source: Florence Morning News,
                                                      February 16, 1975

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