JOMC 191-Mick Mixon
Baseball is the armpit of the sports world. I am sick and tired of baseball and
anything having to do with baseball, and I have ten reasons why.
Number one: The obvoius source of hatred is the inherent greediness in the game.
Every few years or so we get to listen to rich players fight with richer owners over who’s
gonna get richer, while the average American works his or her butt off to pay the rent.
Number 2: We all know who’s going to win. The league might as well just not
waste their time making out that agonizingly long 162 game schedule, and just put the 8
richest teams in the playoffs.
Number 3: There’s no I in team, but there is an M and an E. Only in baseball can
a man who totally separates himself from his team, and gets into to fist fights in his own
dugout be the greatest player in the game.
Number 4: The Yankees. George Steinbrenner goes out and buys the best team
in the game every year so the Yankees can win yet another title. Hell, at least he’s
willing to give up some of his money.
Number 5: The Braves. Even Braves fans are tired of watching them win the
division then choke in the playoffs every year. They couldn’t even sell out home games
in the playoffs last year, and last week set a new low in attendance at Turner Field.
Number 6: It’s a boring game. If I see one more pitcher throw the ball to first
five times before every pitch I’m going to explode.
Number 7: Most teams have no chance to win so people don’t even go to the
game. How exciting is an Expos game? But on the bright side, if you go to a game there
you’ve got about a one in ten chance of catching a foul ball.
Number 8: Compared the excitement and parity of the other two major sports,
baseball has no chance. How often does someone say, “you know, I think the Brewers
are gonna make a surprise run at the pennant this year.” Riiight. However, the hard
nosed underdog Patriots came out of nowhere to win the Super Bowl last year.
Number 9: How do they get injured? How many times do you see a football
player get hurt running from one spot to another on the field without anybody touching
him? Happens every day in baseball.
Number 10: As if we needed another reason to hate baseball, Sports Illustrated
now says that steroid and other drug use is of epidemic proportions in the game.
Instead of fighting over luxury taxes and revenue sharing, owners and players
need to sit down and figure how to make baseball great again. Until then I’ll chuckle
every time I hear someone refer to the game as “America’s Pastime.”