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					                                        Much Ado About Nothing
                                             By William Shakespeare
                                            Act I, scene iii, Act II, scene i

 1
     2     BORACHIO: Edie                                   10        MARGARET (Imelda Staunton): Ava
     3     DON JOHN (Keanu): Hattie H.                      11        URSULA (grandma): Ruby
     4     CONRADE: Kaitlyn                                 12        ANTONIO (Brian Blessed): Mason
     5     LEONATO (Richard Briers): Miles                  13        BENEDICK (Ken): Jackson
     6     BEATRICE (Emma): Isla/Camilla                    14        CLAUDIO (Robert Sean Leonard):
     7     HERO (Kate B.): Isabella                         15        William
     8     DON PEDRO (Denzel): Morgan                       16        Narrator: Sam
     9     BALTHASAR: Rhyleigh
17
18         NARRATOR
19         Young lovers Hero and Claudio are to be married in one week. To pass the time, they conspire with
20         Don Pedro to set a "lover's trap" for Benedick, an arrogant confirmed bachelor, and Beatrice, his
21         favorite sparring partner. Meanwhile, the evil Don Jon conspires to break up the wedding by accusing
22         Hero of infidelity. In the end, though, it all turns out to be "much ado about nothing."

23                                                       SCENE III.

24         ENTER BORACHIO into Don John’s chamber. The men are preparing for a party: Don John, covered
25         in a large, dark sheet, is being attended by Conrade. Noises of the party can be heard “outside”: The
26         rest of the cast is on stage, backs facing the audience, creating the walls of Don John’s room.
27
28         Borachio sneaks into Don John’s room as Conrade is trimming and shaving.
29
30         DON JOHN
31         What news, Borachio?
32
33         BORACHIO
34         I came yonder from a great supper: the prince your brother is royally entertained by Leonato: and I can
35         give you intelligence of an intended marriage.
36
37         DON JOHN
38         Will it serve for any model to build mischief on? What is he for a fool that betroths himself to
39         unquietness?
40
41         BORACHIO
42         Mary, it is your brother's right hand.
43
44         DON JOHN
45         Who? the most exquisite Claudio?
46
47         BORACHIO
48         Even he.
49
50         DON JOHN
51         A proper squire! And who, and who? which way looks he?
52
53         BORACHIO
54         Mary, on Hero, the daughter and heir of Leonato.
55
56         DON JOHN
57         A very forward March-chick! How came you to this?
58

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      Much Ado About Nothing

59
60
61      BORACHIO
62      [Being entertained for a perfumer, as I was smoking a musty room,] comes me the prince and Claudio,
63      hand in hand in sad conference: I whipt me behind the arras; and there heard it agreed upon that the
64      prince should woo Hero for himself, and having obtained her, give her to Count Claudio.
65
66      DON JOHN
67      Come, come, let us thither: this may prove food to my displeasure. That young start-up hath all the
68      glory of my overthrow: if I can cross him anyway, I bless myself every way. You are both sure, and
69      will assist me?
70
71      CONRADE
72      To the death, my lord.
73
74      DON JOHN
75      Let us to the great supper: their cheer is the greater that I am subdued. Shall we go prove what's to be
76      done?
77
78      BORACHIO
79      We'll wait upon your lordship.

80      Borachio and Conrade unwrap Don John, revealing his amazing party attire. The wrap becomes a
81      backdrop for the party, and the “walls” disappear behind an entrance point for the following:

82      Act II, Scene i

83      LEONATO'S orchard. (Italy)

84      LEONATO (in front of the “curtain”)
85      The revelers are entering, brother: make good room.

86      Enter DON PEDRO, CLAUDIO, BENEDICK, BALTHASAR, DON JOHN, BORACHIO, MARGARET,
87      URSULA and others into a garden, masked. They chase down their partners, and try to guess who is
88      under each mask.

 89     Section
 90     DON PEDRO
 91     Lady, will you walk about with your friend?
 92
 93     HERO
 94     So you walk softly and look sweetly and say nothing,
 95     I am yours for the walk; and especially when I walk away.
 96
 97     DON PEDRO
 98     With me in your company?
 99
100     HERO
101     I may say so, when I please.
102
103     DON PEDRO
104     And when please you to say so?
105
106     HERO
107     When I like your favour; for God defend the lute should be like the case!

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      Much Ado About Nothing

108
109
110     DON PEDRO
111     My visor is Philemon's roof; within the house is Jove.
112
113     HERO
114     Why, then, your visor should be thatched.
115
116     DON PEDRO
117     Speak low, if you speak love.

118     Drawing her aside

119     Section
120     BALTHASAR
121     Well, I would you did like me.
122
123     MARGARET
124     So would not I, for your own sake; for I have many ill-qualities.
125
126     BALTHASAR
127     Which is one?
128
129     MARGARET
130     I say my prayers aloud.
131
132     BALTHASAR
133     I love you the better: the hearers may cry, Amen.
134
135     MARGARET
136     God match me with a good dancer!
137
138     BALTHASAR
139     Amen.
140
141     MARGARET
142     And God keep him out of my sight when the dance is done! Answer, clerk.
143
144     BALTHASAR
145     No more words: the clerk is answered.
146
147     Section
148     URSULA
149     I know you well enough; you are Signior Antonio.
150
151     ANTONIO
152     At a word, I am not.
153
154     URSULA
155     I know you by the waggling of your head.
156
157     ANTONIO
158     To tell you true, I counterfeit him.
159
160     URSULA


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      Much Ado About Nothing

161     You could never do him so ill-well, unless you were the very man. Here's his dry hand up and down:
162     you are he, you are he.
163
164     ANTONIO
165     At a word, I am not.
166
167     URSULA
168     Come, come, do you think I do not know you by your excellent wit? can virtue hide itself? Go to,
169     mum, you are he: graces will appear, and there's an end.
170
171     Section
172     BEATRICE
173     Will you not tell me who told you so?
174
175     BENEDICK
176     No, you shall pardon me.
177
178     BEATRICE
179     Nor will you not tell me who you are?
180
181     BENEDICK
182     Not now.
183
184     BEATRICE
185     That I was disdainful, and that I had my good wit out of the 'Hundred Merry Tales:'--well this was
186     Signior Benedick that said so.
187
188     BENEDICK
189     What's he?
190
191     BEATRICE
192     I am sure you know him well enough.
193
194     BENEDICK
195     Not I, believe me.
196
197     BEATRICE
198     Did he never make you laugh?
199
200     BENEDICK
201     I pray you, what is he?
202
203     BEATRICE
204     Why, he is the prince's jester: a very dull fool; only his gift is in devising impossible slanders: the
205     commendation is not in his wit, but in his villany; for he both pleases men and angers them, and then
206     they laugh at him and beat him.
207
208     BENEDICK
209     When I know the gentleman, I'll tell him what you say.
210
211     BEATRICE
212     Do, do: he'll but break a comparison or two on me; which, peradventure not marked or not laughed at,
213     strikes him into melancholy; and then there's a partridge wing saved, for the fool will eat no supper that
214     night.

215     Music: Dancers organize into pairs and rows.

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      Much Ado About Nothing

216     (BEATRICE)
217     We must follow the leaders.
218
219     BENEDICK
220     In every good thing.
221
222     BEATRICE
223     Nay, if they lead to any ill, I will leave them at the next turning.
224
225     Section
226     Dance to:
227     BALTHASAR (singing)
228     http://www.sheetmusicplus.com/title/Sigh-No-More-Ladies/4080202
229
230     Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more,
231     Men were deceivers ever,
232     One foot in sea and one on shore,
233     To one thing constant never:
234     Then sigh not so, but let them go,
235     And be you blithe and bonny,
236     Converting all your sounds of woe
237     Into Hey nonny, nonny.
238     Sing no more ditties, sing no moe,
239     Of dumps so dull and heavy;
240     The fraud of men was ever so,
241     Since summer first was leafy:
242     Then sigh not so, & c.
243
244     Then exeunt all except DON JOHN, BORACHIO, and CLAUDIO
245
246
247     Section
248     DON JOHN
249     Sure my brother is amorous on Hero and hath withdrawn her father to break with him about it. The
250     ladies follow her and but one visor remains.
251
252     BORACHIO
253     And that is Claudio: I know him by his bearing.
254
255     DON JOHN
256     Are not you Signior Benedick?
257
258     CLAUDIO
259     You know me well; I am he.
260
261     DON JOHN
262     Signior, you are very near my brother in his love: he is enamored on Hero; I pray you, dissuade him
263     from her: she is no equal for his birth: you may do the part of an honest man in it.
264
265     CLAUDIO
266     How know you he loves her?
267
268     DON JOHN
269     I heard him swear his affection.
270
271     BORACHIO

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      Much Ado About Nothing

272     So did I too; and he swore he would marry her to-night.
273
274     DON JOHN
275     Come, let us to the banquet.

276     Exeunt DON JOHN and BORACHIO

277     CLAUDIO
278     Thus answer I in the name of Benedick,
279     But hear these ill news with the ears of Claudio.
280     'Tis certain so; the prince wooes for himself.
281     Friendship is constant in all other things
282     Save in the office and affairs of love:
283     Therefore, all hearts in love use their own tongues;
284     Let every eye negotiate for itself
285     And trust no agent; for beauty is a witch
286     Against whose charms faith melt-eth into blood.
287     This is an accident of hourly proof,
288     Which I mistrusted not. Farewell, therefore, Hero!




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