To Be or Not to Be
Setting: In the sewer holding a flashlight
John Bond: Ok I’m in!
Briefer: Follow the sewers until you get to a T. Then take a right and the thieves hide out should be right in
front of you. And don’t blow your cover again! Or this will be your last mission.
John Bond: Roger that!
Conscience: Stay calm. Don’t trip(Tries to trip him). Don’t panic(freaking out). You’re gonna get through this.
(A bird flies in and lands on his head and starts chirping)
John Bond: Shoo bird. Do you think my hair is a puddle of water or something?!
Thieves: Do you hear that noise? Come on lets get out of here.
John Bond: Great! I blew it again. This blue hair is driving me nuts. Kids are always blowing my cover
because they think I am the snowcone man. Now birds are confusing me with a birdbath. What’s next….I
forgot to turn my mic off?!
Briefer: yah! About that! You’re going to have to do something with that hair.
Setting: Outside of Eiffel tower
John Bond: Sitting at a table pouting! “Thanks to this blue hair my life is ruined. Why did I have to inherit
blue hair from Great Uncle Bob?”
Conscience: “The hair isn’t the problem.”
John Bond: “Yes the hair is the problem……and now I am talking to myself.” (slaps himself)
Him: “Ow that hurt!”
Kids: The suitcase opens and kids jump out singing snow cone song.
Snow cone song
John Bond: Oh no not again!
Kid 1: Hey Mr. Snowcone man, may I have a snowcone please?
Kid 2: I would like cherry and she would like blue raspberry.
John Bond: (Through clenched teeth) “I AM NOT THE SNOW CONE MAN!”
Kid 1: “Yes you are.”
Kid 2: “You have a snow cone on your head.”
John Bond: “This is not a snowcone, this is a curse from my great uncle bob.”
Kids: “Ohh it looks very yummy”
Kid 2: “Can we eat it?”
John: “I saw the snow cone man and he went that way.” (pointing to the suitcase)
(Conscience opens suitcase.)
Kids go through the trap door
John Bond: “to be blue or not to be blue is that too much to ask. To be blue my life is nothing but the blues.
Birds think I am a bird bath, kids are always asking me for snowcones. I cannot blend in with anything but a
snowcone. So not to be blue, I could be blond! Then nothing would go wrong. I would beat every bad guy
that would cross my path”
Him: There’s an easy answer to your question. Just stay blue but be true to who you are.
John Bond: “True to who I am!!! I am a special agent that can’t complete a single mission because my hair is
blue….Great I am talking to myself again.”
Him: “Well you could just dye your hair blond and then you would surely be the best of the best. Just look at
Henry over there. He has blond hair and he is the best special agent in town.”
Over to the side: Henry does some awesome moves and saves the little girl from getting her lollipop stolen
(removes coat reveling super H shirt.)
John Bond: (devious) To be blue or not to be blue…..I say not! From now on I shall be known as John Blond!
Scene 3 Blond comes around the corner looking cool with blond hair doing moves but not doing too well.
Henry: Hey John Bond
John: Now you can call me John Blond!
Henry: Ok John Blond, Do ya want to help me on a new mission? I need help finding the stolen recipe for
France’s world famous crepes. I overheard that the thieves hid the recipe in the Eiffel tower. Do accept your
call of duty?
John: Yes now that I am John Blond, B L O N D I will retrieve that recipe from ze Eiffel tower. Before we
know it we will be eating the world famous crepes again.
Henry: You search that way and I will go this way!
John is searching the recipe is right in front of him and he still doesn’t see it. He finds a box but reads it wrong.
John: Hmmm!! World famous creap recipe!! (reading slowIy)Interesting. Wonder what a creap is???
Kids: singing song—Have you seen the snowcone man??
John: No but take this creap recipe box. (Laughing like he tricked them)
Kids: (whine) But these aren’t snowcones.
John: “Oh yes they are! In France the word creap means snowcone.
Kids take it and leave
Henry: Did you find anything??
John: No I have searched everywhere all I found was a box with recipes for France’s famous creaps.
Whatever that is??
Henry: How was it spelled? (annoyed)
John: c-r-e-p-e-s…..why do you ask??
Henry: “That is how you spell crepes!!!!!! You still haven’t changed blond hair or blue hair, you are still a bad
agent. It is time to look for another career.”
Starts raining- hair turns back to blue
Kids: come back singing song
Him: Comes in driving snowcone truck. “The easy choice isn’t always the right choice. Remember what I told
you be true to who you are.
John: “You told me to dye it blue”…”to be blue or not to be blue…….be true to who you are…….I will be blue
and the best snowcone man the world will ever know!!!!!”
John: start singing his own song
“I’m Mr. snowcone man would you like a snowcone please. Let me guess. You would like blue raspberry
because it makes you merry. You would like cherry because it is your favorite berry.”
Kids: “Thanks! These are the best snowcones we have ever had.”
woman: John Bond, You just won the award for Best Snowcone Man of the Year!
Him: The moral of this story is stay true to who you are and be careful when listening to your conscience.
Now may we have a snowcone please!!!!!!
Get shredded paper and throw it over the scene.