dog Dirt by wuyunyi


									March / april 2001                               MDMC                                Volume 2 Issue 2

    dog                                                                    Dirt
                                      MDMC To
This newsletter
is dedicated to all
Mad Dogs, past
                                    Host 2003
& present, that
wear the                   Convention
Colors with
pride and with a
true sense of              MDMC have teamed up with Luzon’s major Motorcycle
Brotherhood.               clubs to host the 2003 National Motorcycle Federation
May your shiny             Convention. Full details still have to be worked out—as
side be up and
the wind always            soon as details are finalised we will let you know.
in your face!

Inside this issue:         T     he 2002 Convention will be held in Davao, Mindanao and be hosted by
                                 On Any Sunday motorcycle group. MDMC plans to be there in force.
                           Again, plans have not been finalised but it seems that the Dogs have a number
Bacolod Review      1      of travel options. Let the Ride Committee know which you prefer. The various
                           costs etc. are being looked into.
Bacolod Photos     4-7
                                •   Option 1—Ride all the way south to Davao City and return by ferry.
Finemaster             8
                                •   Option 2—Take the ferry to Cagayan de Oro, ride to Davao City and
Reasons Why ...        9            take the ferry back

Dog’s Life          10          •   Option 3 Put the bike in a container, ferry it to Davao and fly down to
                                    meet it. Take the ferry back.
Rides & Events      10
                                •   Option 4 Put the bike in a container, ferry it to Davao and fly down to
                                    meet it. Fly back, put bike in a container to Manila.

Dog Dirt Is Picked Up                         a
                           Bacolod shows the w y
and Used by:
John Morgan (MD95)         Carl Huckstep MDMC’s VP & OIC reports from the 7th National Convention.

Carl Huckstep (MD63)       8:00am Tuesday 20th March
                           The chosen few Mad Dogs assemb led at the clubhouse for last minute check up and briefing
Unit M IV The Gallery      from Chito San Agustin MD1. All present and accounted for? Not quite, after a quick roll
Amorsolo Street            call we discovered that James Raterta MD100 was missing, quick phone call to wake him up
Legaspi Village            and we were on our way to the pier and James was the proud recipient of the first fine of the
Makati City                week courtesy of our illustrious fine master Tony Tulipano MD97

Phone: 0917 811 3040       Arriving at WG&A the bikes were loaded on to a container ready for shipping and we were
Fax: 759 4833              ready to board Super Ferry 12. Now as we know there have been a few mishaps with ferrys so
                           we were all a little apprehensive our anxiety level rose when w heard the theme tune to
                           “Titanic” being played as the tickets were being collected.
                                                                                                      (Continued on page 2)
 The road trip to Bacolod was utterly brilliant. I could, and maybe should, just leave it
 at that and leave you to ponder, but just to make sure you know what you missed - the
 riding, the jokes, the drinking, the (nearly) tears read on.

(Continued from page 1)           bikes to be unloaded we          and of course fine Ferdi.      Tony spotted a supply of
After locating our accom-         went to lunch at the Bee                                        Red Bull and as we were
                                                                   Next stop The       Village
modation we set up home           Hive courtesy of Jojo Fi -                                      carrying 3 bottles of Vodka
at the bar where we would         gueroa MD9 and his col-
                                  leagues at Wyeth. Now the
remain for 18 of the next
                                  Bee Hive is a pretty up
                                                                                   “ No, I’m not 36 ! ”
21 hours. On board we
met up with the Wacky             market restaurant, so the                           T-Bone MD94
Riders and a lone Apache          clientele were a little taken
rider who as it would turn        aback by these leather clad                                     all we needed for a beach
out remain with us                biker types descending on        (similar to The Fort but       party was ice and glasses.
throughout our journey to         their favorite watering          way better) where we           No problem taking a dozen
Bacolod. Clearly the most         hole.    Fortunately Ferdi       spend an afternoon of fel-     Absolute (quite appropri-
lively group we made              arrived fully suited just        lowship with the Cebu rid-     ate) water bottles we emp-
many new friends. The             back from a business meet-       ers. Boy do they know          tied to contents and cut the
trip was spectacular and I        ing (yes, he was fined) so       how to party. They invite      tops off forming perfectly
would thoroughly recom-           they realised that we were       us back later so not want-     good plastic glasses. The
                                                                   ing to miss the fun we head    ice fitted perfectly in the
                                                                   back to the Hotel, quick       bottles the Vodka and Red-
        “ White dwarves can’t jump ”                               shower, change, grab a         bull was mixed in a fun jug
          Hugo Wray (Guest Rider)                                  pizza and back to the Vil-     purchased at a sari sari
                                                                   lage by which time there       store and the party com-
mend WG&A Super Fer-              there just to eat and that       are about 100 bikes in the     menced.
rys: accomodation great,          raping and pillaging was         street and the party is in
                                                                   full swing and we party till   1 hour later the ferry ar-
staff friendly, beer cold and     not on our agenda they
                                                                   the wee small hours.           rived and the bikes were
the food…..crap.       How-       made us feel right at home.
                                                                                                  loaded which after 3 or 4
ever, this did not seem to        The food was absolutely          Thursday 22nd Cebu to          Vodka Redbulls was easier
worry Mike Zosa (MiGS)            fantastic and thanks to Jojo     Dumaguete                      said than done, the party
who single handedly tried         and our hosts for arranging                                     continued during the brief
out all the food outlets          the food we shall certainly      Disaster, whilst we were
                                                                   sleeping someone had sto-      journey to Dumaguete and
earning the nick name             go back but next time I will                                    spirits were high.
Pacman (boy can he eat)           where jacket and tie.            len the MDMC bells from
and numerous fines.                                                off of the bikes. After        We were met at the other
                                  After lunch we checked in        chastising the security        side by representatives
Wednesday 21st 10:00am            to the Grand Hotel (again        guard, as they were parked     from Wyeth and set off to
Ouch!! It was a beautiful         arranged by Jojo) and then       right in front of him, ar-     do the final 15 kilometers
morning the sun w outas           off to pick up our bikes.        rangements were made to        to Dumaguete. Now we
dolphins could be seen off        Bikes all OK and we hit          ship over replacements.        had been following a car
the port bow. We were             the road get immediately         The Wacky Riders (what a       for about 5 minutes when it
ahead of schedule and             seperated in traffic and         great name) and the lone       occurred to me that James
could clearly see Cebu in         have to wait fo r the rest of    Apache join us. No prob-       being from Dumaguete
the distance. If only my          the group. Whilst waiting        lem, sell them some T-         would know the road, so
eyes would stop bleeding          Ferdi’s bike slips itself into   Shirts and let them join!      pulling up next to him I
and this horrible taste of        gear and smashs into John                                       suggested that we might
Black Label go away I             Joe Morgan MD95, both            Off we go for a quick blast    want to pass the car and
might be able to enjoy it.        bikes end up shiney side         to the lunch stop where        blow off the cobwebs. He
                                                                   once again Jojo had ar-        agreed and we took off.
                                                                   ranged lunch. Off now to       The roads were fantastic no
                                                                   get the ferry from Cebu to     traffic no potholes and we
    “ Have you seen my survival tool ? ”                           Dumaguete roads are get-       were quickly at our desti-
            Mike Zosa (MiGS)                                       ting better by the minute      nation The Honeycomb.
                                                                   and all to soon we arrive at   After checking in we rode
Cebu.                             down, minor damage only          the pier.                      around checking out the
Whilst    waiting     for   the   to John’s bike. We pick
                                                                   Whilst waiting for the ferry
                                  them up dust them down
                                                                                                           (Continued on page 3)

                                  Page 2                            Dog dirt
(Continued from page 2)         first time to ride in a group.   ties were to be held so we      the day Tony was granted a
local attractions and then                                       could safely tuck our bikes     month’s exemption from
                                The roads were awesome                                           fines. The banner will be
reassembled at 8:00pm for                                        in for the night and get
                                akin to Thailand or Europe                                       framed and placed in the
a welcome party at Lime-                                         down to some real fellow-
                                but with no traffic except                                       Dog House and you can
Light. James bought the                                          ship.
                                the occasional sugar truck.                                      see lots of pictures of yet
first round and Mike (aka
                                It had about 45 minutes of       7:00pm the convention           another defining moment
Pacman) provided a lechon
                                long straights followed by       room is filling and over        for the Mad Dogs.
the food was great and eve-
                                an hour of twisties that         530 bikers plus wives etc
ryone had a good time.
                                were perfectly cambered          are there to party. 7:15pm      The convention proper
After dinner the Maddogs
                                with views that took your        looking at the banners on       started and the entertain-
visited a number of water-
                                breath away. Reluctant to        the wall we realize that we     ment was great, live band,
ing holes and then off to
                                stop riding such great           don’t have one. 7:15 and 5      dance troupe and much
bed to get a good nights
                                roads but hungry enough to       seconds we decide to make       much more…………….!
sleep before the final run to
                                eat the odd carabo we            one I send Hugo off to buy
                                stopped for lunch courtesy       a tablecloth from the Hotel     Saturday 24th March
Or so we thought; at            of Jojo and Wyeth before a       who after initial reluctance    Whilst most of the guys are
around 3:30am 100+ bikes        shortish ride into Bacolod       realize that what we are        sleeping off the night be-
rolled off the ferry from       where my bikes starter be-       trying to do and pull out all   fore I have to attend a
Manila to Dumaguete and         gan misbehaving (more of         the stops. P500 later we        Presidents Meeting, where
descended on our Hotel for                                       have the canvass now we         I believe I was nominated
breakfast where a further                                        coerce Tony Tulipano into       for VP Luzon Federation
50+ bikes met them. Now,         “ My testicles are              doing the art work and the      (elections later in the Year)
if you think sport bikes are                                     necessary drawing equip-        but I may have got it
quiet trying sleeping whilst
                                   fine …. life is               ment is secured.                wrong as my head was still
150 rice burners rev-up, do            good ”                    Andy Marsh (MiGS) -             hurting. What I do know is
burnout's and generally try       Carl Huckstep,                 aka “The Viking” is             that the Mad Dogs will
to be cool. Guys buy a                                           elected as the model. As        host 2003 Federation and
Harley it’s so much easier.            MD63                                                      we will be talking to the
                                                                 Tony is copying the patch
So up at around 7:00 with                                        Andy could pose with all        other clubs to form a coali-
next to no sleep it’s time to   that later). On the way          the people who wanted to        tion.
get set for Bacolod.            oone of the guest pack, for-     have their photo taken with     After the presidents meet-
                                getting the rules, came          him and his Viking helmet
Friday 23 r d March             screaming (ok purring) up
                                                                                                 ing Freedom riders gave a
Dumaguete -Bacolod                                               (at least 500). He was the      short presentation on the
                                on the outside of the pack       star of the show and every-     expressway issue in order
At around 7:30am bikes          cut in between myself and        where he went we could          to enlist national support.
started arriving in ones and    James just missing both of       here cries of there goes the
twos, cruisers, Harleys,        us before undertaking the        “Mad Cow”!                      A quiet lunch was held
sports bikes and even a         car and heading off into the                                     with induction of Federa-
trike.    By the time we        distance.     Fearing this       Meanwhile Tony has              tion officers and we then
were ready to leave we had      could start a trend we           enlisted the help of the        were free to go back to bed
a group of around 50 bikes      pulled over to the side of       other Mad Dogs to help          for a while. Reassembling
wanting to join the Mad         the road in order to explain     color in the Dogs Head and      at 3pm 530 bikes rode
Dog run to Bacolod. Obvi-       the reason for our rules.        lettering. He has drawn         through Bacolod to the
ously, our reputation (ie       Realising the error of his       quite a crowd who cannot
Chito’s) for organization       ways he rejoined the pack        believe their eyes as a ban-
and riding had gone before      and we proceeded without         ner is being made right in
us. So after a quick brief-     incident to Bacolod.             front of 500 onlookers.          “ Over 53 mph
ing on our ride rules i.e.                                       With minutes to spare we
ride behind the Mad Dogs,
                                The Convention                   cut the tablecloth to size      things start mov-
no overtaking etc we set        Arriving at the convention       and Andy, Ace Soriano           ing around inside
                                center we were greeted           MD55 and John Joe
off for a brief procession
                                with the sight of 400 plus       hoisted it high in the air to
                                                                                                    my helmet ”
through Dumaguete before
heading out to Bacalod.         bikes, the main hall was         take pride of place. The          Andy Marsh
                                decked in flags and ban-         whole conference had wit-            (MiGS)
It was quite a sight looking    ners and you could just          nessed the manufacture
in the mirror and seeing all    sense a party to end all         and erupted when the Mad
these free riders following     party was in the air. Jojo       Dog emblem was finally          Town Hall where the
in twos behind the Dogs         had booked us in to the          hung.                           Thunderbugs had arranged
and I later found out that      convention center that was                                       to give around 1000 street
                                                                 For exceptional work u     n-
for many of them it was the     where all the main activi-       der pressure and for saving
                                                                                                          (Continued on page 9)

                                Page 3                           Dog dirt

                                                Above: Striking The Pose

                                                Right : Loaded up on the way to Cebu

Above : Lined up at The Village, Cebu City
Above Right : Leaving Cebu City
Right & Below : The Ferry from Cebu to Negros

                    Dog dirt                            Page 4

                                               “When it works
                                                it works well,
                                                  Like Carl’s
                                                  bike” Andy
                                               Marsh (MiGS)

                                           Clockwise from top right:
        Andy Marsh, John Joe Morgan, Carl Huckstep and Tony Tulipano - looking the part on arrival at Bacolod

    LEGEND OF THE BANNER                                                        he set about recreating the Mad Dog
Upon arriving at the Welcome Dinner                                             emblem.
we realised that MDMC did not have a                                            All Mad Dogs present were involved in
Club banner for display. Not to be out-                                         the production of the finished article.
done we quickly agreed that as the Phil-                                        With minutes to spare, the Mad Dog
ippines premier Club a banner had to be                                         Banner was hoisted to much applause
made.                                                                           from all attending the Convention.
Canvass was easy as the hotel had nice                                          The moral of the story?
off-white tablecloths.  The artwork,
though was another matter.       Tony                                           1 table cloth, 9 Mad Dogs mix freely
Tulipano MD97 was volunteered and                                               with imagination and alcohol and you
using Andy Marsh’s color’s as a guide                                           get a great banner and true Brotherhood.

                             Page 5                          Dog dirt

                                                 “ That’s the
                                                 other end of
                                                 helmet ! ”

Clockwise from Top Right:
           Carl Huckstep, James Raterta, John Joe Morgan , Andy Marsh and Randy Earman- all do their thing
                                 at the “Ride of a Lifetime” event for street children

“It’s mine and I’ll stick my finger’s in                              “I did order a large one !”
it if I want to” Andy Marsh (MiGS)                                       Tony Tulipano MD97

                           Dog dirt                                Page 6

Clockwise from Top Right

•     Chito : “ I can Fly ! ”
•     The Bikes return to Manila
•     The Convention Hall
•     Mike Zosa : “ All the food is mine ! ”
•     Mad Dogs all at Sea

                  Page 7                       Dog dirt
T   he designated Finemaster for the Bacolod
    trip was Tony Tulipano MD97. Tony did
a excellent job of collecting money (mainly
                                                               John Attempting to steal the Finemaster’s cellphone
                                                               John Failing to steal the Finemaster’s cellphone
                                                               Carl Dancing to the “Buttercup” song
                                                               John Dancing to the “Buttercup” song
from Hugo) for the bar bill on the return                      Hugo Dancing to the “Buttercup” song
ferry.                                                         Andy Yelling
                                                               Hugo Moaning
The Fine List was a multitude of torn tissue papers and beer   Hugo Being full of sh#t
stained hotel notepads but from what could be deciphered       Hugo Being full of sh#t
he highlights of the fines were:                               Carl Forgetting to switch on his fuel
                                                               John Complaining
James Forgetting to wear his Colors                            Hugo Mistaking the sound of a 125cc bike for a Harley
Randy Forgetting to wear his Colors                            James Having a 10 minute sandwich
Randy Not sporting a goatee beard                              John Stealing the Finemaster’s notes
John Accusing the Finemaster of being French                   John Unnecessary foul language in front of a VIP
Hugo Losing his bike keys                                      John Not being able to find the hotel
Hugo Trying to shag a policewoman                              Ferdi Riding with a cigarette lighter but no ashtray
Carl For not purchasing tour flip flops                        Chito Singing karaoke
Andy Being overly interested in the ferry’s radar thingy       Hugo Lying
Randy Singing along to Abba & knowing the words                John Unauthorised wearing of flip flops and shorts
Tony Stopping the ride pack to get money from an ATM           Hugo Unauthorised wearing of flip flops and shorts
Randy Questioning the sincerity of the Finemaster              Andy Unauthorised wearing of flip flops and shorts
James Shoving excrement up a faucet at school                  John Not acknowledging the Finemaster’s omnipotence
Randy Not being diplomatic with Smart Telecom                  Randy Talking complete bollocks
Carl Hugging Randy                                             Ace Having MDMC patch in wrong place
Tony Hugging Randy                                             Hugo Requesting “I will Survive”
James Being late on Tuesday morning                            Carl For telepathically requesting “I Will Survive”
Hugo Talking to a woman who was more manly than him-           Carl Denying he has telepathic powers
      self                                                     John Singing “I Will Survive”
James Sporting only half a goatee beard                        Carl Singing “I Will survive” again
Mike Not sporting a goatee beard                               Andy Placing the price tag in his beer
Mike Dancing solo in the ferry’s disco                         Andy Singing Simon & Garfunkel songs
Barman Not being behind the bar                                Andy Repeating what Hugo said
Carl Wanting to buy cheap champagne                            Andy Being a complete spanner
James Unauthorised dancing                                     Mike Cursing
Chito Unauthorised use of the dance floor                      Chito Inappropriate text messaging
Mike Being shy                                                 Randy Sleeping whilst winning a raffle prize
Mike Pretending to be shy                                      Carl Working on his bike during the convention dinner
Carl Liking drag queen music                                   Andy For helping Carl
Carl Singing Diana Ross songs like a drag queen                Ace For not having it fixed in the first place
Randy Not giving a shit if the Finemaster fines him            Carl Singing “I Will Survive” in French
Randy Not singing ‘Johnny Be Good’                             Carl Spilling the Finemaster’s drink
Hugo Choking on water                                          Carl Cannibalism
Hugo Saying “F*%k You!” to the Finemaster                      Andy Cannibalism
Hugo Saying “F*%k You Again!” to the Finemaster                Hugo Insulting the people of Canada
Carl Dancing to Abba                                           Carl Describing parts of T-Bone’s anatomy
Carl Singing along to Diana Ross                               Andy Unauthorised motion whilst seated
James Unauthorised use of a microphone                         Andy Yelling for ice
Hugo Stopping to urinate on the ride                           Hugo Spilling Andy’s drink
Ferdi Unauthorised ballroom dancing                            Hugo Lying about Andy’s drink
Carl Singing “I will Survive”                                  Hugo Lying about lying about spilling Andy’s drink
John Singing “I Will Survive”                                  Randy Flicking ash in Hugo’s beer
John Being of English ancestry                                 Hugo For complaining about Randy flicking ash in his
Carl Being of English ancestry                                       beer
Hugo Being of English ancestry                                 Randy Unnecessary bad language
Carl For requesting “I Will Survive”                           Randy Unauthorised sleeping
John Yawning                                                   John Knowing what to write on his tour mug
John Denying he yawned                                         John Being paranoid
Mike Unauthorised eating                                       John Thinking that everyone is out to get him
Mike Excessive eating                                          John Being got by everyone
Mike Eating without the correct licence                        Carl Singing “Sha-La-La-La”
Mike Eating ice cream on the beach

                              Dog dirt                              Page 8
         Bacolod                                                         coleslaw
(Continued from page 3)                                                    Parachute Accident Mars Coleslaw Wrestling
children a ride of their lifetime. It was a deceptively simple
idea - we each took a street child on the back of our bikes
and did a lap of the town square, drop off the kids, pick up
another and so on. Mad Dogs were the first to go and,
                                                                    S    AMSALA, Fla. (Reuters) - A parachutist landed on a
                                                                         beer vendor at a coleslaw wrestling match during central
                                                                    Florida’s raucous “Bike Week” celebration, seriously injuring
thanks to the stamina of Randy Earman MD94, the last to             the vendor, sheriff’s deputies said on Thursday.
stop. It was truly a great event and I'm not sure who en-
                                                                    The accident occurred on Wednesday afternoon at Sopot-
joyed it more us or the Kids.
                                                                    nick’s Cabbage Patch bar in Samsala, which sponsors an an-
Disaster, my starter is getting worse and worse, bump start         nual coleslaw wrestling match as part of the motorcycle festi-
in front of 300 bikers, not cool and I am fined again. Back         val that draws as many as 500,000 riders from around the na-
at the Hotel Andy, Ace and I start the supposedly simple            tion to the Daytona Beach area.
task of extracting the starter to clean it, 5 hours later we fin-   Just before the women wrestlers squared off in a pit full of
ish. Thanks to Ferdi for staying with us and providing the          cabbage and oil, a sky diver hired to parachute into the make-
light via his FXR and Randy for providing the Gin & Ton-            shift arena was blown off course by high winds.
                                                                    “The parachutist missed his mark and landed on top of the
Meanwhile in the convention hall they are holding a best            victim,” Volusia County Sheriff’s spokesman Gary Davidson
uniform competition which, of course, we win! Andy and I            said.
just get there in time to see our own male model Tony (Hot          The victim Sherri Lee, 37, was walking with a tray full of beer
Legs) Tulipano receive the award.                                   near the beverage concession, where she and other members
                                                                    of a local charity were work-
Then it was time to hit the street party which was a fitting        ing.
fairwell to the convention. Just ask the guys.                      “We yelled, ‘move,
                                                                                                     Dog joke
Thanks to :-                                                        dummy,”’ but she never
                                                                    looked up because it hap-
    Jojo Figueroa for all his help and organisation - we just       pened so quick,” biker Dave
    wish you were there to see it.                                  “D.R.” Paul told the Orlando
    Chito for his tireless enthusiasm and organisation on           Sentinel.
    the road.                                                       Lee suffered head and facial
                                                                    injuries and was taken by
    Andy, John Joe, James, Tony, Mike, Ace, Ferdi and               helicopter to Halifax Medical
    Hugo for being there                                            Center, where she was re-
See you all in Davao 2002                                           ported in serious but stable
                                                                    condition on Thursday.
Carl Huckstep MD63
                                                                    The parachutist, who said he
Vice President & OIC                                                never saw the woman, said
                                                                    the impact “knocked the wind
Mad Dog Motorcycle Club                                             out of me” but that he was

                            Reasons why...
                                                                         you buy Motorcycle magazines.
Your bike is better than a woman ..                                 If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
Motorcycles' curves never sag.                                      You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your
Motorcycles last longer.                                                 Motorcycle.
Motorcycles don't get pregnant.                                     You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register
Motorcycles don't have parents.                                          your Motorcycle.
Motorcycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.           If you say bad things to your Motorcycles, you don't have
You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up.                              to apologize before you can ride it again.
You can share your Motorcycle with your friends.                    You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and it won't
Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles                  get sore.
  you have ridden.                                                  Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.
When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same        Motorcycles don't care if you are late.
  time.                                                             It's always ok to use tie downs on your Motorcycle.
Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles             If your Motorcycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or
  you have.                                                              get better parts.
Motorcycles don't mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if      You can't get diseases from a Motorcycle.

                                Dog dirt                                   Page 9
                          It’s a dogs life
Something’s Moving In            Bugger! Is that a bee that       was absolutely right,             yes, yes, that’s it, they’re
My Helmet !                      just got into my helmet          they’re stuck fast, I’d have      wet with sweat ....... I am
                                 through the small gap I’ve       to tear my head off first .       going to have to hit the
S    ome of us wear BMW
     style two piece “open
chin” helmets - you know
                                 left for some fresh air?
                                 Could be. Well, I’ll just
                                                                  Well, next brilliant idea,
                                                                  what if I just touched the
                                                                                                    footbrake in the next few
                                                                                                    seconds ... can’t hit that @#
the type - where the lower       open my helmet visor to let      foot brake --- nooo, dumb         $*&@ big truck at this
chin piece can be opened by      him out. Visor up ... no, the    idea! That won’t work, this       speed, it might scratch his
pressing two thumb locks.        little bugger is going to be     Airhead Beemer has great          duco ... yes! yes! ripper!
Some people have also fit-       stubborn, cantankerous           engine braking and when I         Got the left hand out ... now
ted their bikes with elec-       even! He’s not going to          get to about 40 kph and           hit foot brake to cancel
tronic cruise control or a       leave and is now behind my       can’t balance the bike any        cruise, de-clutch and slow
version which operates on        sunnies, must be tired from      longer and the dreaded            bike with foot brake ... steer
friction on the throttle - ei-   all that pollen hunting.         BMW boxer-wheel-wobble            for the shoulder ... slowing
ther way they hold the           Don’t want to be stung on        starts, which it will, I am       down ... slide foot... stop ...
speed of the bike reasona-       the eyelid—I’ll just open        going to have major tank          ease out clutch to stall
bly constant without any         the chin piece on my BMW         slappers --- sheeeiite!! I’ll     bike ... side stand down ...
input from one’s throttle        helmet (very handy) and get      be off on my bum so quick         switch off bike with le ft
hand. We also all wear           him out .... let go of handle-   and still hanging onto my         hand, right hand still glued
gloves which invariably          bars .... squeeze the release    helmet so tightly they’ll         to helmet ... tintops going
fasten around the wrist with     buttons bike is nicely bal-      have to bury me in it!!           past must think I’ve got
either a velcro flap or a        anced and holding line                                             toothache ... fall off into
                                                                  Won’t do the bike much
press stud; some of the          well ... speed steady ... no                                       grass ... lay there for 5 min-
                                                                  good either!!!
more expensive types have        cars ... this should be                                            utes till the shaking stops
                                 easy ... got the helmet          Hell, I can see the junction      and the adrenaline rush dis-
a zip fastener as well,                                           up ahead about one and half
among other features.            open ... glasses off ... piss                                      sipates... now release hel-
                                 off bee! ... glasses on ...      k’s away and I am really          met with left hand and r    e-
Picture if you will, one lone    slam shut helmet ... hands       starting to get the wind          move sweat soaked head.
BMW rider with an opening        back to bars ---- oh, sheeite!   up ... tense even ... certain     Breathe out ---- Shizer!
chin helmet and a pair of        Thumbs of both gloves            parts are beginning to            Was that ever close! I’ll
good quality velcro fas-         jammed in helme t!!!             pucker ... if the lights          buy a Tatts ticket in Al-
tened gloves sailing along       Gloves won’t move even           change to red and that huge       bury!
the Hume Highway at 115          though I’m pulling like          B-Double waiting at the           When I had recovered, I
kph (that’s all I’ll admit       hell!! Wow, this will be         lights is in the middle of the
to!!) dialled in on the elec-                                                                       realised there were two ob-
                                 interesting...    can’t quite    junction when I get there,
tronic cruise control.                                                                              servation here:-
                                 press the release buttons        jeeesus, I’m going to be a
Weather is good, no cars in                                       hood ornament next to that        No. 1: It’s not a good idea
                                 with little fingers ... junc-
the immediate vicinity,                                           bloody chrome bull dog!!          to open or shut your helmet
                                 tion now 3.5 km away ... I
scenery is boring, no cops,                                       Must try and pull hands           when on the move. and
                                 know, I’ll just pull one or
life is good!! Junction of       both hands out of my             really hard ... can I make        No. 2:       Did you know,
highway with Albury/             gloves.... no, that doesn’t      them any smaller ... 800          “adrenaline” is brown!!
Wodonga Road about 5 km          work: “velcro is good stuff,     metres ... the left one is giv-
away, no need to slow            won’t come undone if you         ing a little ... maybe the        Supplied By
down yet; bike is running        fall off!” I remember the        gloves are slipping on the
beautifully!! Looking for-                                        sweat now pouring from            Rory Hume MD 89
                                 salesman saying that. He
ward to lunch.                                                    every pore ... 600 metres

          Rides & events                                                                            Kidnapped
                                                                                                    for Ransom

                     REMEMBER! The Mad Dog Rides!

  Isabella, Family Weekend - April 29th / May 1st
                 Tuesdays at 8.15 pm Starbucks, Glorietta
                     Saturdays 5.15 am A&W Makati Av.
                                                                                                    Police say the lighters were
            Sunday April 8 & 29—Contact Joe Fitter MD111                                            abducted on Super Ferries
                                                                                                    12 & 2—more inside ...

                                 Page 10                          Dog dirt

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