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ISSUE 1 March 2008 Actualite Published by ASSOC @ Macquarie W elcome to the first issue display your amazing skills on the photos and see what’s happening of Actualite for 2008. On tables. in ASSOC. I would like to finish off behalf of the Cabinet this by wishing the first years all the year I would like to give a warm The career-conscious will be ca- best with their future endeavours welcome to all the first-year actu- tered for via two events – the QED at Macquarie and I hope everyone arial students. I hope you are en- and MPN career nights. Both will will enjoy the upcoming events joying your university experience provide you with the opportunity to organised this year. See you so far and are adjusting to life on liaise with professionals from around!! campus. For all the other years, across the Actuarial industry and a welcome back and I hope you will chance to apply your networking Patrick Huang. enjoy this issue. skills. These two events will offer an insight to what it’s like to be an Many of us still remember our first actuary. These will also feature weeks of uni when we were taken information on job prospects, ap- around by a mentor and signed up plication tips and the working envi- at the O-Week Stall. This year we ronment at each speaker com- had a record number of students pany. signing up. Observing first-years trading their ten dollars for a flashy The Welcoming BBQ offers you membership card and an envelope the opportunity to meet interesting of goodies, reminds me of the time people and form new friendships. when I made the important deci- For the first time ASSOC will host sion of joining the society. a Poker Night for its members. So for all you Facebook poker fans - This year is jam packed with now is your chance to try to bluff in events. The joint Soccer Competi- a 7, 2 off-suit and win it all. And of tion with UNSW will help you re- course, the biggest event on the lease your excitement built up ASSOC calendar is the JASS Ball. since the last world cup; the joint This will be a great time to escape Basketball Competition will have your studies: dress up, enjoy the you put on the Jordan singlet kept entertainment and party all night! away in the drawers. The Pool Don’t forget to visit our website at competition is bound to let you www.mqassoc.org, check out the Y es, as you may have no- ting taught the hard way, pick ‘em spent sleepless nights making the ticed, we’ve turned Actualite up here! And don’t be a snob – designs for this issue. Thanks for into a fashionable maga- make it your responsibility to trans- putting up with me, guys! zine! Now get this. What’s so radi- fer this know-how in an appropriate cally different about this issue, is way to everyone around you. Many thanks to our sponsor Tow- that it’s useful. And unique. So ers Perrin who have sponsored this many simple things like studying, And also, we strongly encourage publication in its entirety. or socialising, or finding a job are you to participate in that life and in so totally, entirely different for its discussion. So if you sense the ACST students. We could not bear need to speak out, this is pretty Dmitri Levachov. the silence and our urge to speak much the only way – write to us on out. firstname.lastname@example.org and voice your ideas, protests, re- We also strongly felt that the great quests. void of information, of communica- tion of life, of the ACST experi- Every issue will have its principal ences had to be filled, had to be theme. Issue one we dedicate to put down in words on paper, talked first years; and since the beginning about. of semester is usually a little less intense for students in subsequent The ACST department will be cut years, we’ve thrown in some arti- at us on this, but we reckon simply cles on topics of entertainment as getting you to read the “Survival well. Guide” will have failure and repeat rates plummet. There is a heap of I’d like to take this opportunity to little things that just have to be thank my awesome team for their said, and having them said makes support and hard work, and give a huge difference. Instead of get- special credits to Jessie, who has This issue is brought to you by Dmitri Levachov (editor) Jessie Wang (designer) Survival Guide Fauzia Choudhury THE guide to making it through Actuarial Studies in one piece Zeger Sun Interview Find out what the second years have to say about their first year of Actuarial Studies. Social Networking The science of social interaction. Events Schedule What to expect from ASSOC this year, and when. Cabinet Profiles Get to know more about the Actuarial students in charge of ASSOC Qed Careers Forum Health & Lifestyle Some great advice on how to be in a demanding (but worthwhile) degree and still have a life outside of it. Clubbers’ Guide Reviews on some of the best known clubs around Sydney Indoor Soccer Comp O‐week Evaluation & Photos Guru Talk Guru Girl and Guru Guy help out a student with his romantic entanglements Sudoku, Puzzles and Jokes G etting into ACST is cool, actually staying in Do thy tutes! In terms of exam/test preparation, the degree is cooler. The following is com- these are your best bet to guess the questions. posed with no exaggerations, humour or The key thing is to do them many times (I cant sexing up facts. This is the bare cruel truth and stress that enough): do them by the time the tuto- ignoring it may be costly. Follow these command- rial is due , make sure that every week you remem- ments and thy soul shall be spared. ber how to do all previous tutes, do them all again before the exam/test (unit outline should say which First and foremost. You absolutely have to get unit topics are included in a particular test). If you find outlines for every subject you do. You absolutely that you are behind on tutes, you are not managing have to read them and put the assignment and test your time right. Revise your schedule or approach. dates into your diary. If you have decided to go for 4 subjects a semes- What?? You haven’t got one?? Oh My Goodness!! ter, forget about your part time job at Macca’s. Get it fast. Get it today. U@MQ diaries are pretty Lousy $200 a week will cost you your degree. If this year (yes, everyone was shocked with sur- you absolutely have to work, do 3 subjects at most. prise), but if you want to make a statement, check out Kikki-K or MYER. Get the one that shows one However lame this sounds, switch into the mindset week when you hold it open and has space to write of going to the library every single day and spend- contact details for people you meet at uni. Now, ing ridiculous amounts of time there. Develop your lock yourself up in your bedroom, and pencil in all study stamina. the assignment and test dates. Yes, all of them. Yes, today! Treat your diary as an extension of Don’t bother copying other people’s tutorials. Sober your brain – use it as much as you can, look at it up to it: in terms of your assessment mark, they’re every day, it’s your ultimate and only TO-DO list. not worth enough to do that. If you can’t do them on time, restructure your schedule – you are not Plan everything. Put things into your diary and putting in enough. cross them off when you’ve done them. If in the first couple of weeks you found that you are strug- Do elements in ACST101. They are the easiest gling with time, write up an hourly schedule for one part of the course and they get you your 30%. If week ahead planning study times, lunches, toilet you are struggling, this stuff is the *first* you should breaks. Do a new schedule every week. study, not the last. Read techniques notes on the bus three days before the test (no later, - we’ve To prepare for any assessment (mid-sem or final), researched this one as well) and then again the and to subsequently pass it, get yourself all past night before and you’ll be sweet. Yes, flip to papers that you can find. Terrorise your lecturers, ACST101 test weeks in your Kikki-K and scribble or a buddy from the year above. To do them, set that in. apart at least 3 days for each midsem, 1.5 weeks per subject for finals (no less, we’ve researched). To all you macho’s out there, ease it up on the Do them. romance side, and don’t plan anything major for next couple of years. Unfortunately linear regres- sion analysis from Geekee in the Guru section is unforgivable correct. The worst thing you can now do is move out with your special one at the mo- Checklist ment. Wait until you are tired of getting HD’s all the find/steal/beg for/buy your copy of time; then go for your life! And oh yes, sit her/him Actualite down one evening soonish, pull a straight face and make sure it gets to her/him that “your degree is more important to you than your relationship”. Ay, joined ASSOC and gym cruel, but thus the survival commandments dictate. got a diary Tutorial and preliminary assessment marks are not indicative of your performance in your finals. If put in all assignment dates you’ve aced your midsem, trust us, you still have to study off your behind for the finals and polish off found out Portal password every single topic that’s in it. Friends are awesome. Get ‘em. We’ve got a whole logged in to Portal and checked article on social networking a couple of pages your email down. Plus, equipped with the awesomely cool know-how obtained from the current issue, getting logged in to Blackboard at ‘em is a breeze. online.mq.edu.au using your Por- tal password Remember that getting into a course which no-one ever heard of is a job half done, you need to study hooked up with a mentor in C5C- thoroughly and comprehensively to be able to get 244 good marks. Your mark will reflect the percentage of material which you thoroughly understand. If you read about your subjects in hand- understand 10%, that’s what you’ll get in the exam. book.mq.edu.au You will not pass just because you are smart. made absolutely sure that all your So get onto it and don’t give grief to your nana. friends have done all of above T he first year at Uni is always the tricky one. “Oh and guys, remember to hand your assignments Everything is new, slightly terrifying and it in this week”. So if you don’t keep up to date with can’t be made better by the fact that you’re Blackboard or find a proactive friend, you are pretty about to start a degree known for its difficulty and much stuffed. drop-out rates. To find out just how hard (or easy) the first year really is, Actualite speaks to some In first semester, what subjects hit you as the fresh second years: Deepti, Tulara and Matt. Did it hardest? Why? live up to expectations? Was it worse? Or better Deepti: Stat 171, because I couldn’t understand the maybe? Also, we answer the all important question, lectures. You really have to re-read the lecture did they find out what an Actuary actually does? slides all the time for it to make sense and be inter- esting. Although as a subject ACST151 was proba- Fauzia: Hi! Hope your holidays went well and bly harder, but it was more accessible. thanks for taking part! First thing first, have you Tulara: I’d say Stat 171, as I didn’t heed the warn- found out what an Actuary IS? Did you know ings of “credit or doom!” and spent much of the first this before you started your degree? semester in the pool room (which I would advise Tulara: Well, I have a better idea now than I did against- an hour a day is really all you need!). before I started, but since the topics are so broad in Matt: I found my STAT171 lectures difficult to follow first year (they apply to a variety of Commerce de- and dull. For this reason I neglected the lectures grees), the only unit that really helped to clarify this and did not attend enough of them. So this subject was ACST151. For me, it’s still pretty much just a became a real pain as I was teaching myself practi- vague mix between being immensely rich and pow- cally everything. My outstanding tutor Hemang was erful, and spending your time calculating premiums. great help as well. First year at uni. What were your expectations of Did you get lost on your way to lectures or it? How did you think it was going to be before tutes? Rooms tend to be harder to find than you started it? theatres. Deepti: Before I started I thought it would be really Matt: Not really, that is until right up to the final easy! I didn’t believe those telling me that it was exam for ACST211 (worth something like 90%) hard. Haha! where I got lost looking for my exam room (I had Tulara: I didn’t have a great deal of expectations jotted down a non-existent room), found it 15 min- coming into the first year. I only had disturbing sto- utes after the exam commenced rushed in, ries from my parents and the orientation day to go ploughed through all the questions and still man- by. But I just assumed it wouldn’t be too much differ- aged to scrape in a D. ent from high school. Tulara: I don’t actually remember getting lost at any stage; the uni is actually fairly well structured as Was it anything like what you just described? long as you have an idea of where the actual build- Deepti: NO, it wasn’t. You need to keep up and I ing is. The name of the room itself tells you the floor- didn’t. It turned out much harder. ing, eg. C5A 325, is level 3, and after that all you Tulara: It was a lot different from year 12. To start, need to remember is that in most buildings the the style of learning is completely different – it is up ground floor is actually “level 2”. to you to know when your classes are, when your Deepti: No, not really. Actuarial students are all in assessments are due, how much work to do etc. the same classes anyway so it’s easy if you just The lecturers only mention that an assignment is follow a group. Someone in that group would always due, the day before. It passes as a light reminder: know where to go! Did you attend the various ASSOC events? Qed, us are hit with a workload of 5 subjects. Was it MPN or the Ball? What did you think of them? tough? Tulara: I did go to the MPN and the Ball, and I Matt: Yeah, but ACST101 is not really comparable would recommend both to anyone. MPN is a fantas- with other subjects, in that I probably spent about a tic way to catch a glimpse of what you could be tenth of my study time on it. Nonetheless that se- doing after your graduate. You can talk to qualified mester went very, very quickly because of all the actuaries and get a better feel for what they do. One work to be done. Despite my expectations, I actually of the main things they encouraged was interests graded better in second semester then in the first. outside of uni. Saying that when you actually turn Tulara: Well, it was easier for me – I only did 4 sub- up for an interview, firms will be looking for a bit of jects, but it’s true that the workload comes all at character. After all they will be working with you 9-5, once. You cruise through the first few weeks think- 5 days a week until one of you quits so try not to ing, “What was wrong with me last semester, uni is turn your life into study. great” and then the work builds up all of a sudden. The Ball was the most awesome thing we did all But as long as you stay reasonably up-to-date, it’s year. Not only was there free access to wine and not something to stress about. beer but we got to meet up with our UNSW counter- parts who, (even though they will never be as smart Overall did you fall in love with any subjects? as us =p) were fun to hang out with. Matt: Not so much the subjects, but perhaps some of the lecturers. Allan McHarg was a really passion- What was the best thing about first year? ate ECON111 lecturer, and that really helped me to Deepti: Probably the friendships you form. Since keep up with that subject. Some of the later mate- we’re all in the same lectures, the actuarial students rial in ACST211 borders on fascinating, so much so group is really tightly knitted and it’s easy to make that I am eagerly anticipating some more advanced some really good friends. probability models this semester. First year sub- Tulara: New friends. Although a few people from jects generally consist of fundamental introductory my school took the same course, I didn’t get to coursework. It’s only in later subjects that you can speak to them properly until now. really fall in love with the material. The wide variety of people you meet is probably the Deepti: Yes, I guess so. I enjoyed most of the sub- best thing about uni. There are a lot of international jects actually. In first semester I really liked students, and everyone has such different back- ACST151 and second semester ECON 111 and grounds. I found it easy to like everyone and any- ACCG105. ACCG105 I enjoyed because it was one. easy! And the worst? Which semester would you rate better? Why? Tulara: Coming to the end-of-semester exams, Deepti: Second semester because by that time I’ve when you realise you have done nothing all semes- gotten used to everything. It just came together ter but play pool, refine your Mario kart skills and well, I kept up with my work, studied more. It was flick paper at each other, and that you now have to just more balanced. learn four units worth of work in a week. Everyone Matt: Semester two was harder, but I was more says it, but really, if you don’t keep up with the tute settled in, had made a lot of friends and thoroughly work throughout semester, you will find yourself in understood the whole university thing, and espe- trouble. cially the examination processes. So with those Deepti: The workload. It’s really hard to keep up! things in mind I would have to say that I found sec- You have to study constantly. Each week you’ll ond semester to be far more enjoyable. have something due. Tulara: I preferred semester 2, given that I worked a little harder and in general the subjects were a Second semester, we’ve settled in a little, get- little easier (ACCG105, ACST 101). ting used to the Uni swing. Then BAM! Some of U ni life may become a bit of a lecturer is unstoppable, put on your word around first (called market lonely jungle if you don’t hoodie and sneak stealthily down testing), see if people are inter- hook up with a cool tribal the front in the end of the hour. ested. Do something cool together community early on in your degree, Change clothes and discard them – culture up on an arthouse movie, or create one. This process may immediately afterwards. pick a venue from clubs reviews in become quite treacherous in parts, Actualite, or something safe and and as undisputed luminaries of Tutorials, on the other hand are a simple like ice skating. social networking we’ve decided to completely different story. Don’t talk spill some light on this enigmatic to the tutor much, but squeeze out Every clan has to have its desig- and esoteric science. all the social abilities out of your nated territory. Form a study area in peers, generate as much discussion the library and drive out unwanted Get on to it early. Make sure you as you can. You can single hand- intruders like those annoying HSC don’t miss out on the golden oppor- edly create this atmosphere in a students with chronic and incurable tunities to talk to your neighbour in tutorial. Do it, get people to speak. verbal diarrhea infesting the no- lectures, tutorials, the Co-op book- talking zones. shop queue. It’s easiest to talk to On a serious note - never ever ar- people early in the semester, for gue with your actuarial friends, even Being amenable is vital. Watch out some reason the crowd becomes a on academic subjects. Even if they for, seek for people asking you for bit stiff down the line. And besides, are completely wrong and still argu- favours. These requests come rare, the plain girl next to you may be- ing their point, and you can bet your and they are your priceless finds. come best friends with the sizzling butterfly collection on that you’re Be absolutely sure that whatever hot Jap girl in the second row. Talk right, let it be. Trust us, this will be anyone asks you, you do it for about investment returns. much more appreciated in the long them, and you do your utmost best run. in doing it for them. This really There’s a little trap here. Read my shapes what impression people fluffy lips on this: make friends and Remaining interesting and under- have of you. not play-around buddies. You want stated is vital. Being overfriendly will to establish a circle of acquaintan- be taken as being impersonal and Being socially successful is an art, ces, not one single acquaintance. will not be forgiven. and it’s an essential asset in your Stay clean and don’t give anyone skills cart. Start experimenting and any suggestions. Don’t be promiscuous with your remain on the careful side. Most friends. Stay in one group and important thing is that now you are Ok, no matter how groovy you think make it interesting for everyone in aware that the science of social you’ll turn out, please, I implore you, it. If your little clan has formed but it networking actually exists, and you don’t ask questions in lectures! If stays stagnant, take an initiative are on your quest to explore it. And the urge to make friends with the and organize an event. Send a conquer it. EVENTS SCHEDULE H ey, you there. Yes you with the GET INVOLVED to pretty up the re- Actualite in your hand, listen up! sume! Helping out at various events Want to meet new people, make throughout the year gives you some very some great friends and have an awesome good looking items to put into your re- career at the end of your degree? Then sume. For example Head Speaker for get involved! You’ve probably heard it a MPN (Meet the Professionals Night) million times before and that’s because sounds quite impressive indeed! IT’S TRUE. GET INVOLVED to know and impress GET INVOLVED and meet new peo- the cabinet members. These are the peo- ple, from all years. You can never have ple in charge of the Actuarial Students’ enough friends in the world, and they Society and in the end they play a large might just be invaluable later in life. Espe- role in choosing who replaces them once cially because you’re in a degree that’s they graduate. If you get to know them known for its difficulty, your elders can early and show that you’re keen on being give you great advice on how to deal with an active member of the university, then it a subject or teacher! may lead to wonderful things! GET INVOLVED to learn great skills And finally that you won’t find from just studying. GET INVOLVED because there are Communication for instance, a text book just so many chances to do so. ASSOC doesn’t need talking to! Or organisation has such an action packed, fun filled year and public speaking! Again, unless you ahead that it’s bursting at the seams! decide to blabber the textbook to your friends/classmates/stranger on the road, you’re not going to get practice making speeches or organising events. These are all vital skills you need to succeed in the job market. Semester One Semester Two O-Week Week 1 Macfest- The O-Week of Week 1 Semester 2 Welcoming BBQ Week 2 Trowbridge Deloitte Prob- Week 4 Qed Careers Forum Week 4 lem Solving Competition Soccer Competition Mid Semester Break MPN- Meet the Week 5 Professionals Night Pool Competition Week 10 Joint Actuarial Mid Semester Poker/Buffet night Mid Year Break Students’ Ball (JASS) break Basketball Mid semester Publication - Actualite Magazine Quarterly Competition break Name: Patrick Huang Degree: B-Com Actuarial Studies and B-Applied Finance Year of Study: 3rd year Cabinet Position: President Email: email@example.com What assoc projects are you (or were you) involved in: MPN – Project Manager, Pool Comp- Assis- tant Manager, MC for the Jass Ball and helped out at most of the other events 3 words that describe you best: Passionate, Amiable, Trendy If you were stranded on a deserted island, what 3 items would you wish you had with you: A boat to get off the island, Daniel Li and Daniel Leung if they can count as items because they will bring alto- gether 6 other items that will come in handy. What's the best advice you've ever gotten: Get as active as you can on campus What do you do to calm the nerves before exams: I listen to “Stressbuster’s version of Cannon in D” and various Kenny G songs Name: Jee Young Cang Degree: B-Com Actuarial Studies and B-Economics Year of Study: 3rd year Cabinet Position: Internal Vice President Email: firstname.lastname@example.org What assoc projects are you (or were you) involved in: 2007 JASS Ball Project Manager and I also helped out in all other events 3 words that describe you best: Considerate, perfectionist, determined If you were stranded on a deserted island, what 3 items would you wish you had with you: i-pod, my best friend and maybe fishing rod to get me food! lol What's the best advice you've ever gotten: study haaaarrrrddd!!! What do you do to calm the nerves before exams: bum around the library chatting with friends or read my summary notes with friends and test each other while drinking tea. Name: Alan Ngo Degree: B-Com Actuarial Studies and B-Applied Finance Year of Study: 3rd year Cabinet Position: External Vice President Email: email@example.com What assoc projects are you (or were you) involved in: I was the project manager of publi- cations, Assistant manager for Macfest and basically help out at most events 3 words that describe you best: looking for challenges If you were stranded on a deserted island, what 3 items would you wish you had with you: Being a fan of Lost and how they were able to get off the island, I would want to have a satellite radio, batteries that fits the radio and more batteries in case the other one runs out What's the best advice you've ever gotten: From a fortune cookie I ate many years ago -" Decide what you want and go for it". What do you do to calm the nerves before exams: I drive to get to my exams, that’s where my nerves are most calm Name: Andy Wu Degree: B-Com Actuarial Studies and B-Sc Statistics Year of Study: 3rd year Cabinet Position: Treasurer Email: firstname.lastname@example.org What assoc projects are you (or were you) involved in: O-Week 3 words that describe you best: hungry for money. If you were stranded on a deserted island, what 3 items would you wish you had with you: lamp of genie, girlfriend, solar-powered 30-inch plasma television with global wireless reception. What's the best advice you've ever gotten: Study hard. What do you do to calm the nerves before exams: Sleep. Name: Ja Punpraw Degree: B-Com Actuarial Studies and B-Applied Finance Year of Study: 4th year Cabinet Position: Secretary Email: email@example.com What assoc projects are you (or were you) involved in: Publications 3 words that describe you best: sly, sociable, poor If you were stranded on a deserted island, what 3 items would you wish you had with you: Rum, Nintendo Wii (hopefully there are others stuck with me as well), HD TV What's the best advice you've ever gotten: "If coffee doesn't wake you up, pour it on yourself." What do you do to calm the nerves before exams: Cram some more Name: Srikar Velivela Degree: B-Com Actuarial Studies and B-Applied Finance Year of Study: 3rd Year Cabinet Position: Careers Coordinator Email: firstname.lastname@example.org What assoc projects are you (or were you) involved in: Assistant Project Manager of Qed Careers Forum 2007 and also helped out at other ASSOC events. 3 words that describe you best: clumsy, determined and a perfectionist. If you were stranded on a deserted island, what 3 items would you wish you had with you: Marshmallows, firewood and a box of matchsticks. What's the best advice you've ever gotten: "It is best to do what is right, rather than what is acceptable." What do you do to calm the nerves before exams: Avoid everyone, especially those with a GPA of 4! Name: Daniel Leung Degree: B-Com Actuarial Studies and B-Applied Finance Year of Study: 3rd year Cabinet Position: Social Coordinator Email: email@example.com What assoc projects are you (or were you) involved in: O-week, Welcoming BBQ, Mac Fest, the Ball and Poker Competition 3 words that describe you best: Really really social If you were stranded on a deserted island, what 3 items would you wish you had with you: a fully charged satellite mobile, a pair of sunnies and one big bottle of cold beer. What's the best advice you've ever gotten: Doing Actuarial Study needs brains! What do you do to calm the nerves before exams: Facebook Poker, MSN, Keep Studying! Name: Daniel Li Degree: B-Com Actuarial Studies and B-Applied Finance Year of Study: 3rd year Cabinet Position: Sports Coordinator Email: firstname.lastname@example.org What assoc projects are you (or were you) involved in: Pool Comp, Basketball Comp 3 words that describe you best: sexy, single, available If you were stranded on a deserted island, what 3 items would you wish you had with you: nuclear electricity generator, internet connection, dual core 2.4GHZ 2GB ram computer What's the best advice you've ever gotten: "get out while its still early" What do you do to calm the nerves before exams: Listen to Ipod Name: Elsa Cheung Degree: B-Com Actuarial Studies and B-Com Accounting Year of Study: 3rd year Cabinet Position: Media Coordinator Email: email@example.com What assoc projects are you (or were you) involved in: Publications, JASS ball 2007, fund- raising events, helped with most other events 3 words that describe you best: Smiley, spontaneous, observant (formally); on-random-highs (casually) If you were stranded on a deserted island, what 3 items would you wish you had with you: a manufactured chocolate bear, a camera, a teleporting machine What's the best advice you've ever gotten: "Don't study, just play!" (this is NOT an advice =P) What do you do to calm the nerves before exams: Calling up friends and realise they're muCH more behind than you... the thought itself is quite comforting! Name: Robert Dunn Degree: B-Com Actuarial Studies and B-Sc Computing Year of Study: 3rd year Cabinet Position: IT Officer Email: firstname.lastname@example.org What assoc projects are you (or were you) involved in: Welcome BBQ and Deloitte Problem Solving Comp 2007 3 words that describe you best: What's the question? If you were stranded on a deserted island, what 3 items would you wish you had with you: Satellite Phone, Water, and an Economy What's the best advice you've ever gotten: "Don't drink the water on a deserted island.” What do you do to calm the nerves before exams: Breathe O k, the first thing that you rowing, or swimming. Benefits are Going on an exchange is awesome. have to remember before many, from getting to have no- It’s almost as awesome as getting a considering having any sleeve shirts in your wardrobe to summer vac intern in Mac Bank. Do health or lifestyle, is of course your getting a healthy stress therapeutic. some research and see if the inter- academic performance. In actuarial national office has some summer or circles, if you haven’t yet discov- Hook up with a sports club, they are winter exchanges that’d appeal to ered this lovely fact, the hottest turn pretty friendly, you only have to find you. No, no winter exchanges to -on is your GPA. Nazi or not, this one other likewise minded person Amsterdam. I’ve checked. But don’t starts to make sense when you for you to join without fear. Rugby despair, last time I surfed interna- admit that you are way more at doesn’t have to be your game, if tional.mq, they were sending as- peace with yourself when you know you’re a fan of the aristocratic, ten- sault teams to Copenhagen, Berlin you’ve caned it. nis or golf or squash should do as and even Hong Kong. Yay. fine. Plus, not many a potential tar- After a while you start to notice get will turn down a deceitfully pla- If that’s too far away, travel Austra- though, that one bunch will remain tonic late night tennis practice. lia! Melbourne is set to provide the content with their GPA’s. They will ultimate retail therapy session to all wear same track-pants and dirty Get involved in uni life. The abun- you shopperholics out there. An- sneakers to lectures until these dance of this uni life is kept secret other must is to organize a snow- physically disintegrate, have birdies from you, so it takes time to pick it boarding trip (or skiing for the less weave a nest in their hairstyles and up from random rumors that it actu- extreme girls); start talking to peo- giggle among sheer silence in alge- ally exists. Once you are over the ple and organizing the trip in the bra lectures. They are genuinely wall of secrecy, it’s real easy to get next couple of months, or you will happy. Let them be. absorbed in it all. The easiest way stumble into booked out signs to make your assault on the extra- closer to date. The second bunch will go a bit fur- curriculum side of things is of ther. And it’s from seeing them that course via the mock-up corporate And just in case you’ve got a pho- Shepherd’s clichéd “study hard and environment of ASSOC. Be very bia of flights or travel, I can assure party hard” comes to mind. The careful not to misjudge how much you that Sydney is worth rediscov- latter are the epic bunch. time you put into this. You don’t ering. Check out some cool eater- want upsides in the extra- ies. If by now you know the menus This doesn’t mean you have to tune curriculum section of the resume be of Pancakes on the Rocks, Ribs your car radio to FBI 94.5 and freak at a cost of downsides in the aca- and Rumps and Makoto in Chats- out Borders staff with your requests demic results section. wood by heart, add T2, Heme- for Zarathustra translations, there’s sphere in Establishment, Ushinoya other ways to be cool. Still on a resume topic, if you dis- in Martin Place to your To Go list. cover a fountain of enthusiasm in Start gradually, and only progress if you, heaps of time to spare and a This is a precious age, have the full this doesn’t impact your studies. lack of a club that you’d love to join, taste of it. Chill out your mind from Put your control cycle mindset to a founder of a club or society looks Brownian motion. Be it at some this – if you see you’re going a bit pretty flash in a CV. We’ve had a artsy festival along the lines of too social, rewind that bit or you couple of clubs formed recently by Flickerfest, an occasional Dendy’s won’t survive. You can start off by the actuarial kids, so don’t be showcase, or an up-class visit to throwing some physical activities in- afraid. As long as you can estimate the Archibald.Prize.08, make sure between the library sessions. If the that it won’t take more than 5 hours you take that opportunity to enjoy it. weights room sends chills down a week of your input to run, do it. your spine, check out cycling, or There’s been some talk that actuary kids are not of bboys spend their nights here to practice what cool. Well, we’re about to reverse that and quieten they’ve picked up in Sydney Dance Company during the evil tongues – show them what we’re really made the week. Very sociable club, and the crowd is de- out of. So hook up with some party animals and start cent too. going down the list. Here’s enough to get you going right until exams preparation time. Greenwood Thursday Free; Laundry - $20 Sunday $15 Had some awesome time here, - very nice, small, Thursday nights this is heaven for underage kids with understated club in the underbelly of the Sydney fake ID’s. Cheap drinks, free entry and pop dance downtown. The main house room gets a bit plain tunes. Sounds on Sunday is a bit elder crowd, more except for event nights, but the Cave (minimal tech) I chillout, less dancing. can’t get enough of. Uni bar rating: NA Club VIP doing free entries to Ok this is not a night club, but the pool tables around YU - $10 it are a nice laid back social venue. No-one actually The club has been known for its European vibe, hangs out at the actual bar except for non-award Arts funky lounges and nice house and dance music. This kids who treat themselves into this luxury in-between venue has proven good enough for Club VIP to put binge drinking sessions. Oh yes, don’t miss out on their eye on it and if you want free entries on Fridays, uni parties in the start of the semester, they are a email. must. Not the best DJ’s (Sydney beats us by miles) but nevertheless. Tank - $25 Tank is rating one of the best clubs in Sydney, the Festivals are extremely popular in the clubbing com- only downside being the lengths of the queues. It munity and are becoming even more so with the re- strikes a good balance between a bar and a dance- cent feats of Daft Punk and MOS. You really get your floor; all cherry topped with some quality DJ’s. Enjoy value for money as you capture a whole multitude of the poles. House on Saturdays, RNB and Funk on artists play in one night. The economies of scale are Fridays. awesome and quality of performances are excellent. Saturday at Home (Famous) Some no-miss hits shall be Future Music Festival, - $25, guestlist $20 featuring house and electro; Good Vibes, with some Ok I grew up here, this is my clubbing cradle. A lot of RNB and house, and of course Park Life and V festi- sentimental memories here. Famous really pulls it off val. on Saturdays, entry is $25 and you can bet to find music you like in at least one of its many rooms. A lot Chill out. S till DOTA-ing?? That is It was 8:30 on Monday morning when that day! After closing the stall that SOOOO yesterday! Please, we found our little actuarial corner. day, the clouds started crowding in how could you have not known The boxes were transported from and the evening saw thunder and about the phat party?? IT’S O- ERIC down to the lake with the help pouring rain… oh no… mud…… WEEK!!!! While everyone was still of some cabinet members (the lucky lazing in their beds or staring into the ones). We started hanging up our However, as the sun started to rise, hard-hearted computer screen, the banner and posters as well as placing the clouds started to clear, the birds preparation for O-week slowly crept everything in neat piles on the table. were singing once again!! To my sur- into our lives. After two months of a We were definitely prepared for a prise, the lake has not overflown its relaxing holiday, Janani, my wonder- massive crowd (especially after banks, the mud dried up and even the ful assistant manager and I were clus- Janani’s awesome lecture announce- heat abated! On the last day, we were tered with the vast amount of work ment!) At the end of the day we had able to catch the last few students , needed for O-week. It was like no about 33 people signing up. This which too made our day!! The event other task we’ve ever tackled before meant that we had about 1/3 of the was a success! and nonetheless, we made it! After cohort to sign up in the remaining two we finally got our gorgeous pens, days. Being completely satisfied at In the end, I would like to say a big fat flyers, posters and brochures (don’t that thought, the boxes felt to us a thank you to everyone that helped forget the yummy lollies we had this little lighter on the way back to ERIC. out, the cabinet and committee mem- year) we were ready to welcome the bers and especially Andy who as- excited new bunch of actuarial stu- The next morning, we were faced with sisted us when Daniel was still over- dents! some small hiccup as our corner had seas, and Tom who packed up when been moved by some envious rival he didn’t need to, as well as Janani Our first encounter with the first years society. This meant we had to find a for her efforts as my assistant man- was on Orientation Day. We got some new space to set up our stall! Fortu- ager in running the entire event. committee members to set up a stall nately, we were able to find another Now, for those who DIDN’T sign up in the bright sunshine – you couldn’t spot to set up our cool flyers. Under during O-week, you still have your have missed us during the BBQ the sheltered tents, the air was chance at the next couple of events lunch. Yes, you must all admit, the trapped, and the heat was ower- that are coming up. BE THERE! mentors did a good job in promoting whelming. You could see people fan- ASSOC as we signed up 45 new ning their heads off and trying to members on the first day! But there scam free drinks (especially from the Jenny Hsiang was heaps more to come… IceTea tent), but we still managed to Project Manager of O-week 2008 sign up another 20 students during I have a problem. Did some actuarial modeling on this issue and the horrifying results were that my relation- ship with BABE has conclusive negative effect on my studies!! I’m determined to break it off, but how do I do it?? Guru Guy Corner Dear I Geekey, beastly, especially when the once-a-month story be- came a hard reality. I have no idea why God would It is true, that I have never believed in love at first sight. make it so frequent. But let us thank Him, on behalf of But I sure do believe in lust at first sight! all the men on earth, that it isn’t twice or thrice-a-month. Anyway, I decided to break up with Guru Beast. I didn’t This is a classic case of real-life Beauty and the Beast. I give her the typical “It’s not you, it’s me” routine. In- went through one myself. When I first laid my eyes on stead, the “It’s actually you, not me” approach worked the Guru Girl, there was no love at first sight. Nor on like a charm. Got a few slaps, but it all ended up rather that occasion was there any lust at first sight. But I went quickly. Give it a shot, my nerdy friend! out with her anyway, just in case she suddenly became hotter a few months later or so. However, such hope was a fool’s hope. The Beast soon became even more Guru Girl Corner Dear I Geekey, getting rid of any “friends” you may have had. No one to get in the way of you and your ACST subjects now. You’ve asked me for help yes? And general rule is that we ask people we trust for help, yes? So then let’s be Method 3: Tell her you love another. That ‘another’ honest with people we trust Geekey, there is no girl- doesn’t have to be real, but you may find it inspiring friend is there? Any person who uses parameterized imagining some actuarial subject when you refer to that linear regression in the same sentence as BABE lacks ‘other’. Explain once the strength of your affinity with the social ability to even talk to girls, let alone have one Control Cycle (initialise it to CC for ambiguity) and it to call their own. But let’s, for the longevity of this col- shall be enough to render this relationship hopeless. umn, assume that you DO have a girlfriend, and she ISN’T thinking of dumping you (in which case your prob- Method 4: Take pole dancing lessons. In the dress suit- lems would be solved wouldn’t they?) what can we do ing the repertoire, demonstrate what you have learned about this potential “huge disinvestment in retirement to her. C5C courtyard straight after the lecture should do income”? Well Geekey, lucky for you there’s a plethora just fine. This will simultaneously solve all the unwanted of methods to rid yourself of that not-so-special some- friends issues that you may have and deliver, long term, one. pure solitude. Method 1: Buy several jars of crushed garlic and ginger. Method 5: Introduce her to your imaginary friend Bob. Pour them into a bath and jump in. Its great for your skin Go out on a dinner, the three of you, or spend a roman- and the smell will make any girl within a 40 mile radius tic sunset watching session with Bob sitting in-between run in the opposite direction to you. you two. Method 2: Start saying “lol” in every conversation in- There’s plenty more ways to go by, just put your actuar- stead of actually laughing. Soon enough, you’ll have ial mind to it!! But please reply, and do let me in on who annoyed her enough to make her want to avoid you at is it that you are trying to split up? every possible cost. Kill two birds with one stone* by The number of hours you studied today and A census taker (a retired actuary) approaches a your age! house and asks the owner (who also happens to be an actuary), "How many children do you have, and what are their ages?" 1. State the number of hours you studied today. Actuary: "I have three children, the product of their (It’s gotta be at least 1 otherwise you are not an ages is 36 and the sum of their ages is equal to the ACST student, and less than 10, otherwise it’s the street number of the house next door." day before your exam and you wouldn’t be doing The census taker walks to the house next door, puzzles) comes back and says, "I need more information." 2. Multiply this number by 2 The actuary replies, "I can’t discuss this further, my 3. Add 5 eldest child is sleeping upstairs." 4. Multiply it by 50 Census taker: "Thank you, I now have all the infor- mation I need." 5. If you have already had your birthday this year What are the ages of each of the three children? add 1758. If you haven't, add 1757. 6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born. Three actuaries are having lunch. They ask for the You should have a three digit number. bill and the waiter brings back the bill totaling The first digit of this is your original number. (I.e., $52.50. When the waiter returns to collect the Number of hours you study each day.) money, how much money does he find the actu- The next two numbers are aries left for him? YOUR AGE! *This works exclusively in 2008 What is an actuary's favourite food? Seeing how it works so magically is great, but can you find out how it works? Also why does it only Did you know? work for 2008? What should you change so it works 355/113 is a better approximation to π than 22/7 for 2009… and so on? 1. 3. An actuary plans to travel to a conference by Primary school, second grade Bobby (son of an plane. When he passes the security check, they actuary) is asked a question: discover a bomb in his carry-on baggage. Of “Bobby, if you have $10 and you ask your daddy course, he is hauled off immediately for interro- for another $10, how much money do you have gation. altogether?” "I don't understand it!" the interrogating officer Bobby: “Ten dollars, Miss” exclaims. "You're an accomplished professional, Teacher: “Bobby, it’s wrong, you clearly don’t a caring family man, a pillar of your parish - and know your mathematics” now you want to destroy that all by blowing up an airplane!" "Sorry", the actuary interrupts him. Bobby: “Yes Miss, it’s right, you clearly don’t "I had never intended to blow up the plane." know my daddy’ "So, for what reason else did you try to bring a bomb on board?!" 4. "Let me explain. Statistics shows that the prob- The Mickey Mouse, Paris Hilton, the Pope and ability of a bomb being on an airplane is 1/1000. Bobby (son of an actuary from the previous joke) That's quite high if you think about it - so high are on a crashing plane. But there are only three that I wouldn't have any peace of mind on a parachutes available for the passengers and the flight." crew has already catapulted out. "And what does this have to do with you bringing The Mickey Mouse exclaims that he has given a bomb on board of a plane?" so much joy to all the kids of the world that he "You see, since the probability of one bomb be- definitely deserves to live; he grabs the first ing on my plane is 1/1000, the chance that there parachute and jumps out. are two bombs is 1/1000000. If I already bring Paris rolls her eyes: “well I think I deserve to live one, the chance of another bomb being around too because I am so pretty, I can make my own is actually 1/1000000, and I am much safer...” movie films and I have even been to jail!” she grabs the second parachute and jumps out. 2. The Pope then says to Bobby “Look, I’m an old, old man, I’ve lived my life and you have every- An actuary and his non-actuary friend are having thing ahead of you, so you take the remaining a good time in a bar. Outside, there's a terrible parachute.” thunderstorm. Finally, the actuary thinks that it's time to leave. Since he has drunk a lot, he de- Bobby looks at him and goes “No worries cides to walk home. grandpa, we’ll both make it, she took my school- bag.” "But aren't you afraid of being struck by light- ning?" his friend asks. "Not at all. Statistics shows that, in this part of the country, one person per year gets struck by lightning - and that one person died in the hospi- tal three weeks ago." CONSULTANTS AND PROVIDERS OF SOFTWARE SOLUTIONS TO THE FINANCIAL SERVICES INDUSTRY Towers Perrin is a global professional services firm that helps organisations around the world optimise performance through effective people, risk and financial management. The Risk and Financial Services business of Towers Perrin (previously trading as Tillinghast) provides global actuarial management consulting and software solutions to insurance and financial services companies. We are at the forefront of innovations in our profession, such as market- consistent valuation techniques and predictive modelling. 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