Chris Grayling won’t share Jubilee Jobs Report, says you might ruin it by GlynnePowell

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Awwww, go on Chris Grayling, let us have a peep. Go on. We’ve heard it’s really good, and we ALL want a read of your report. Oh come on, Graylers – just a peep! No? Nothing? Hmmm, I wonder what it says within, then. Maybe it says bad things about you?

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									http://www.dailyshame.co.uk/2012/08/satire/chris-grayling-wont-share-jubilee-jobs-report-says-you-might-ruin-it/




Chris Grayling won’t share
Jubilee Jobs Report, says you
might ruin it
Awwww, go on Chris Grayling, let us have a peep. Go on. We’ve heard it’s really good,
and we ALL want a read of your report. Oh come on, Graylers – just a peep! No? Nothing?
Hmmm, I wonder what it says within, then. Maybe it says bad things about you?

Like when I got a bad report at school and it said “the future writer of the Daily Shame is
somewhat lazy and could do far better if he pulled his thumb out and did some work
instead of doodling on his jotter all day”. Yeah, we had jotters back then, not computer
screens as desks. So I bet it’s like that for Chris Grayling, the report says something like
“Chris Grayling is a bit of a *nasty* and makes people sleep under bridges before doing a
job for next to no pay”.

Whoops! Was I meant to write that?
So why aren’t you releasing the report? We’re all SOOOOOO keen to have a look. Is it
because it’s “commercially confidential”. Oh, it is because it’s “commercially confidential”,
but what can that possibly mean? Does it mean that it says bad things and you don’t want
us to know about them? I think it does, doesn’t it, Graylers.

So let’s have a look at what really happened, shall we. You commissioned a corporation
called Close Protection UK to get some jobless scum, sorry, people in to police the Jubilee.
Myself, I’d have got the army or G4S (whoops again!) or the POLICE to do it – so I wonder
why you got Close Protection UK in? Nothing to do with them being connected with a Tory
peer, is it? OH YES IT MIGHT BE! Sorry, Graylers, bet you didn’t want me to post that link,
did you.

But anyway, they must be good and honest people because you chose them? What’s this?
Good old Political Scrapbook found out that 5 directors had been struck off. FIVE OF
THEM! Wow, that’s a pattern you wouldn’t want released because it’s “commercially
confidential” – yikes. Graylers, this goes deep, doesn’t it.

Anyway, the basic gist of the report is that YOU ordered a company that YOUR MATES
recommended so that you could get UNEMPLOYED people to do WORK for FREE (sorry
about the capitals, Graylers, I can’t help it), you got them to catch a bus from Plymouth
(and other places far, far away), and you dumped them under London Bridge at 3am in the
morning and told them to sleep rough until sunrise, for AT DAWN, WE RIDE!

Now, forgive me for saying this, Graylers, but only a COMPLETE *NASTY* would do that,
and only a COMPLETE *NASTY* would commission a report into it AND THEN HIDE THE
RESULTS from the rest of us. In my day, work resulted in being paid, but in the fantasy
world of Chris Grayling, you can get work done for nothing because there’s loads of jobless
people who JUST LOVE THE OPPORTUNITY to work hard for nothing. It’s life-changing.
It’s an experience. It’s a diversion from, erm, job-hunting.

Chris Grayling, you *nasty*, just show us the report.

								
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