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					       Volume 103, No. 1
       Wednesday, October 20, 2010
       Pittsburgh, PA
                                                                  SNEWSE        HADY SID                                                                                                                                           The Great Gourd
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         says
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Happy
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Halloween!


                                                                                                                                  Meet President Tom Cangiano
                                                                                                                                  By Marko Hudak
                                                                                                                                      Thomas Cangiano, the new presi-
                                                                                                                                  dent of Shady Side Academy, kicked off
                                                                                                                                  the school year at Senior School Convo-
                                                                                                                                  cation September 2, by addressing the
                                                                                                                                  importance of forming an educated opin-
                                                                                                                                  ion and the dangers of commenting on
                                                                                                                                  issues one knows nothing about.
                                                                                                                                      So let us learn something about our
                                                                                                                                  new president.
                                                                                                                                      Besides being an articulate speaker,
                                                                                                                                  Mr. Cangiano also has an impressive
                                                                                                                                  résumé. He graduated from Middlebury
                                                                                                                                  College where he majored in American
                                                                                                                                  Literature and minored in American His-
                                                                                                                                  tory. He then earned a Master of Arts
                                                                                                                                  in Teaching at Tufts University. Mr.
                                                                                                                                  Cangiano was later accepted into a doc-
                                                                                                                                  toral program in history at Columbia                                                                              Photo by Lindsay Kovach
                                                                                                                                  University in 1994. After two years in
                                                                                                                                                                               We gather together. President Cangiano opens Convocation 2010.
                                                                                                                                  the program, he received an M.A. in
                                                                                                                                  history. After an additional two years,      Mount Washington and the downtown             in need of a head. Mr. Cangiano imme-
                                                             Photo courtesy of Jessica Parker                                     he received a Master of Philosophy in        area. He particularly enjoys running on       diately fell in love with the school when
                                                                                                                                  History. He then taught and was a            the Senior School track before going to       he was interviewing last August. He said
Guten Tag. German students and some of their hosts in Rowe.                                                                       dormitory advisor at Lawrenceville           work before the sun rises. The president      that he “didn’t get the same feeling at
With them is Jessica Parker, Co-ordinator of International Programs.                                                              School in New Jersey for nine years.         and his family collectively enjoy explor-     other schools,” and felt that Shady Side


German students
                                                                                                                                      Mr. Cangiano finally accepted a po-      ing new places and walking and hiking         “would be a good fit for my family and
                                                                                                                                  sition as head of the American School in     around Fox Chapel because it has great        me.”
                                                                                                                                  Sofia, Bulgaria before coming to Shady       trails. Mr. Cangiano said, “It’s been             When asked if there was anything he


visit Shady Side
                                                                                                                                  Side. Mr. Cangiano is married to his wife    really, really enjoyable.”                    didn’t like about Shady Side Academy,
                                                                                                                                  Linda and has a son, George, at the              After learning a little about his per-    Mr. Cangiano laughed. It took him a
                                                                                                                                  Middle School, and two daughters, Grace      sonal and family life, I questioned Mr.       moment to think, and the only thing he
By Rachel Diehl                               visit our nation’s capital, and when they                                           and Celia, at the Junior School.             Cangiano more specifically on his role as     could pinpoint was the environmental
    We, the hosts, eagerly awaited the                                                                                                I had the special opportunity to sit     president at Shady Side Academy. He           issue. He thinks that there is a lot more
                                              returned from their trip, they only had
arrival of our German exchange students                                                                                           down with the president and ask him          mentioned that his short-term goal would      work to be done in recycling and con-
                                              good things to say about what they saw.
at the Pittsburgh airport on Sunday,               While at school, they got to see the                                           several questions regarding his new life     be to “understand the school and the          serving energy. He noted that we are
September 19. There was uncertainty                                                                                               here at the Academy, starting with how       community as best as I can.” In order to      behind compared to other schools. He
                                              finest of what Shady Side Academy had
among us as to what the next three weeks      to offer. The second week they were                                                 he and his family are adjusting to life in   do so, he will try to talk to as many         thinks that small changes will make a big
would entail.                                                                                                                     Pittsburgh. He stated that everybody is      people as possible in the Shady Side          overall difference. Mr. Cangiano was
                                              here was Spirit Week, which meant that
    As we saw the ten German students                                                                                             adjusting well, and was grateful that        community. Thus far, he has spoken to         very happy about the renovations in
                                              Homecoming was on that Saturday.
approaching us, we became nervous to                                                                                              many people at the Senior School have        many students, faculty members, em-           Rowe, however.
                                                   Most of them came to the day’s
find out what our partners were really                                                                                            gone out of their way to make sure that      ployees, parents, and alumni. The                 When asked if he could change one
                                              sports events, including soccer, field
like. Having only received a one-page         hockey, and football. The German stu-                                               he and his family are transitioning          president’s long-term goal is to figure       thing about Shady Side Academy right
biography and a picture of our partners,                                                                                          smoothly.                                    out how to make the school the best it        this instant what it would be, Mr.
                                              dents undoubtedly enjoyed their first
we were enthusiastic to learn what per-       high school football game.                                                              Asked to comment on the atmo-            can be. Mr. Cangiano would like to find       Cangiano said that this was a hard ques-
sonal habits they would have, what                                                                                                sphere here at Shady Side, Mr. Cangiano      the areas in which we as a community are      tion to answer simply because he is still
                                                   Korinna Lorenz, a German student,
foods they would be willing to try, and                                                                                           noted that Shady Side is very special in     not particularly strong and make them         adjusting to life here and learning about
                                              said,“The football was funny.”
whether or not they would understand               This was all new to them, especially                                           many ways. He has been spending time         better. He also would like to contribute      the community every day. However, he
a word of English.                                                                                                                at each campus (Junior, Middle, and          something “special” that could benefit        did mention that he would like the three
                                              the Homecoming dance. These students
    After about twenty-four hours of          were surprised with our dance because                                               Senior) and interacting with students,       Shady Side Academy.                           campuses to interact with each other
traveling, they were noticeably tired,                                                                                            teachers, and faculty members. The               Mr. Cangiano demonstrated his en-         more. He stated, “It is great to find ways
                                              of how different it was from theirs. At
but just as equally excited to meet us.                                                                                           president particularly enjoys the as-        thusiasm for the Academy by saying he         to bring the entire community
                                              their school, they only have one dance a
When we were introduced to our part-                                                                                              semblies every Monday and Friday.            “loves it here,” and that “Shady Side is      together…it’s difficult, but it means a
                                              year and they dance nothing like we do.
ners, we took them home to spend their                                                                                                He said, “What really impressed me       an incredible school with a great his-        lot.”
                                              During their last week, they took a day
first night in America.                       to go to Fox Chapel High School to see                                              the most were the community meetings.        tory.” The president does not think that          Mr. Cangiano has previously taught
    The German students’ time here was                                                                                            It is both positive and supportive en-       there are any areas in need of major fixing   History and English, and he would love
                                              the difference between private and pub-
filled with a variety of planned events as    lic schooling.                                                                      ergy.” He loves that fact that both          or transformation, but he would like to       to get back into the classroom. He
well as time spent with their host fami-                                                                                          teachers and students can participate        tweak certain things. The president           ultimately would like to teach a history
                                                   The remainder of their week was
lies. During their first week, they went                                                                                          and work together on certain issues col-     approaches his position open-mindedly,        elective on the subject of Bulgaria or the
                                              spent making memories with their hosts
to see multiple historical and educa-         until Saturday morning, October 9, when                                             lectively to enhance the community.          optimistically, and he constantly looks       Balkan region. He believes that the
tional sites in downtown Pittsburgh,                                                                                              This is one area where he thinks Shady       for ways to improve the community.            history of this area is fascinating. In the
                                              the students left their newfound homes
including the Warhol Museum, Strip            to be reunited with their own families                                              Side has excelled.                               When Mr. Cangiano was looking for         coming years, expect to see a history
District, and Heinz History Museum.                                                                                                   After talking about the Shady Side       a job, he narrowed his search by schools      elective taught by the president himself.
                                              back in Germany.
They were interested in the history                                                                                               atmosphere, Mr. Cangiano talked more         looking for heads, and geographic region.         In conclusion, Mr. Cangiano said
                                                   After three weeks, we all learned
behind each of these places.                                                                                                      specifically about Pittsburgh and his        Residing in the United States was what        that he truly feels satisfied, fulfilled, and
                                              valuable lessons about culture, accep-
    After that, they were able to visit                                                                                           interests here at the Senior School. The     the entire family wanted. He first found      happy here at Shady Side Academy. He
                                              tance, and friendship.
Washington, DC for two full days. All                                                                                             president has already been to both           out about Shady Side Academy because          and his family have a wonderful place to
of the German students were thrilled to       (Please see Germany, page 2)                                                        Steelers and Pirates games and toured        he saw that it was on the list of schools     call home.


Homecoming week, 2 days to debate, 30 minutes to the gate
never-ending spirit
                                                                                                                                  By Haley DeJulio
                                                                                                                                      “It left without us!” These somber
                                                                                                                                  words met eleven out of the thirteen
By Katie Prochownik                                                                                                               Speech and Debate chaperones and stu-
    Walking down the hallways of Shady                                                                                            dents as we ran up the stairs to our
Side during the week of September 27 to                                                                                           airplane departure gate. The plane had
October 1, one could only see that the                                                                                            departed, leaving behind over thirteen of
students are not in a normal frenzy.                                                                                              its expected passengers.
Pajamas, eye patches, black robes,                                                                                                    Fortunately for us, our competition
Cinderella gowns, and blue and gold                                                                                               over the weekend of September 24, 2010
flashy goodness only add to the viva-                                                                                             went considerably better.
cious spirit of Shady Side Academy.                                                                                                   The annual Yale Speech and Debate
    For the school, Homecoming is a                                                                                               Tournament in New Haven, Connecti-
time not only to show spirit in apparel,                                                                                          cut beckons eager students each fall from
                                                                                                Photo courtesy of the Academian




but it is also a time to celebrate Shady                                                                                          around the country to compete in a
Side’s 127 years of faithful service to its                                                                                       myriad of events ranging from prose to
student and alumni community.                                                                                                     public forum.                                                                                                     Photo by Mary Krauland
      President of Student Council                                                                                                    This year, ten Shady Side Academy        We won! Debaters attract the attention of airport passersby.
Broderick Kelley agrees. “With return-                                                                                            students and three chaperones (Mary
ing alumni, it is the perfect opportunity                                                                                         Krauland, John Tumolo, and Mary Ellen           While the competition was tough,           Peter Donahue won first place in parlia-
for Shady Side to exert new and old                                                                                               Costa) took part in this forensics frenzy.   with over one hundred teams in public         mentary.
traditions and familiarize the current                                                                                                Sophomores Paul Steenkiste, Perry        forum alone and nearly forty in parlia-           Whether we won or not, we all learned
student body with the past. This year’s                                                                                           Cao, Shivum Barill, and Anthony Costa        mentary, Shady Side came out strong.          a lot about debating at a high level of
Homecoming is bringing changes to the         Slumber party! SSA seniors                                                          competed in Public Forum Debate along           Anthony Costa and David Jimenez            competition and traveling in large groups.
Shady Side Community by bringing forth        enjoy an early reprieve from                                                        with Junior Rob Belles and Senior David      advanced to the double octo round of          We look forward to taking the knowl-
the tenure of our new President, Mr. Tom      stress in their Monday PJs.                                                         Jimenez, and seniors Jemila Adoki, Haley     public forum, Haley DeJulio and Jemila        edge we gained at the national level and
Cangiano. His presence will facilitate a                                                                                          DeJulio, Ann Tumolo, and Peter Donahue       Adoki advanced to the quarter finals of       applying it to local tournaments through-
new era of the Shady Side community.”           (See Homecoming Page 8)                                                           competed in Parliamentary Debate.            parliamentary, and Ann Tumolo and             out the season.
2 Opinions                                                                   Shady Side News
                                                                             Wednesday, October 20, 2010
                                                                                            IT’S JUST A HOUSE OF WORSHIP, EVERYBODY RELAX

Back in the band
By Niteesh Sundaram                                                                         Mosque at Ground Zero
    At the start of my junior year, I                                                       By Perry Cao                                  from places such as the Iranian gov-                   constructing the mosque is a bad idea.
decided to drop out of band. I had                                                              It’s been a while since the plan for      ernment and other organizations with                       When asked about his take on the
already accumulated three art cred-                                                         constructing a Muslim community               un-American values. He denounces                       anti-mosque behavior, Roy Frye, an
its and by dropping band I could                                                            center and mosque near Ground Zero            violence, and is seen as a pro-Ameri-                  atheist Unitarian Universalist of Pitts-
schedule a second science course.                                                           was unveiled (also known as “Park             can within the Islamic world.                          burgh calls it “mean-spirited and un-
At first I felt that I had made a great                                                     51” and the “Cordoba House”), but                  Since 9/11, he has supported and                  American.” We must consider the
decision. I mean, how was playing a                                                         the opposition to the idea is staying         lectured on the idea that being a Mus-                 impact that this decision is having on
saxophone - rather mediocrely might                                                         strong. In a recent poll by Fox News,         lim and being an American is not a                     our image—the American image.
I add - going to help me at all in my                                                       64% of Americans were against the             contradiction. He helped name the                          We also have to remember that
life? We all hear the stories about the                                                     idea of building the mosque (more             mosque, originally supposed to be                      Christianity and Judaism (two of the
starving artist or the music major                                                          Republicans were against it than              the “Cordoba House,” representing                      top ten largest faiths in the world,
who is now flipping burgers at a fast                                                       Democrats). Simply put, they be-              the 8th-11th century city of Córdoba,                  Islam being the second largest) have
food joint. And besides, I was good                                                         lieved that it was inappropriate.             Spain. This was meant to symbolize                     had some extremism as well (not very
at science. Science is something that              In band, however, I am constantly        Americans aren’t comfortable with             the peaceful coexistence between Is-                   recent extremism, but extremism all
comes naturally to me, which is not            being challenged. Reading rhythms            the mosque being so close to the site         lam, Christianity, and Judaism, but                    the same), but do you see people
the case with music, and I would               and notes is not something that ever         of the 9/11 terrorist attacks.                also met controversy, as many people                   protesting the construction of a church
have had to be a fool to choose band           came naturally to me. I must practice            However, there are a lot of things        saw it as a link to the Islamic conquest               or a synagogue with such relentless
over science.                                  quite a bit if I am to play the easiest      that some people don’t understand.            of the Christian Spaniards in Córdoba.                 determination? Of course not.
    However, in less than a year since         of arrangements that many of my              First off, the mosque isn’t right next            This idea of religious unity takes                     Sadly, the majority of Americans
I quit band, I am once again carrying          classmates are able to sight read. At        to Ground Zero, it’s two blocks away.         me to my next point: America is a                      are still skeptical of the mosque pro-
my saxophone to and from school.               the start of my junior year I took this      It’s pretty much like any other mosque        melting pot where cultures from                        posal. Sophomore President Paul
Looking back on my decision to                 to mean that I was a bad musician and        in the urban sprawl of New York City          around the world mingle and prosper.                   Steenkiste believes that the construc-
drop band, I realize that it was a             that I should probably stop playing          (which currently has about 100 some           After all, this country was founded on                 tion of Park 51 is an “unwise endeavor
mistake. It was rather arrogant of me          the saxophone. Although it took me           mosques already).                             the basis of religious freedom. By                     because it touches on an issue that is
to assume that music is less impor-            over a year to realize it, I wasn’t a bad        Second, we have to remember that          opposing the construction of the                       close to many Americans’ hearts.”
tant than science. You see, band               musician; I was just lazy. Because           the mosque is also a recreational cen-        mosque, we are becoming dangerously                        Paul thinks that it’s reasonable to
class has taught me a more valuable            science came so naturally to me, for         ter which will house a pool, a gym, a         narrow-minded.                                         consider moving the mosque to a dif-
lesson than I have ever learned from           the longest time I was really only           library, an auditorium and more. It                The citizens of the United States                 ferent location; preferably farther
a biology teacher or physics text-             willing to pursue things that I was          will be a social gathering place for the      do not have the authority to deny                      away from Ground Zero. I disagree,
book. Band class taught me the                 good at from the start.                      people of Manhattan. According to             individuals’ religious freedom (nei-                   even though his view is one shared by
importance of trying my hardest,                   My previous outlook was not              Time Magazine, it’s time for Ameri-           ther does the government; that’s ille-                 countless American citizens.
while science class simply rewarded            only wrong, but also quite detrimen-         cans to ditch their tendency to               gal). Sam Swarts, a senior, says, “It’s                    But in order for the United States
me for being lucky enough to be                tal. It was the reason I had aban-           exaggerate Islamic extremism.                 in the constitution that there should                  to move forward, we need to stop
born with anaptitude for science.              doned so many other activities that          Islamophobia must end.                        be a separation between church and                     dwelling on the past. We need to
    I’m not saying I don’t work at all         I might have grown to love, or with              The Muslims who are construct-            state. So they should definitely build                 accept Islam and respect it, and re-
in science class (in fact I probably           some practice found myself to be             ing the mosque are a more liberal sect;       the mosque.”                                           sisting the construction of the Ground
work more in science class than I do           very good at. If you are to take away        more “peace-loving” than the more                 The extremists who organized and                   Zero mosque is a step in the wrong
in band), but it is rare that I find           only one thing from my editorial let         radical groups. The man behind the            executed the 9/11 attacks were indeed                  direction. We live in a democratic
myself outside of my comfort zone in           it be this: things in life worth pursu-      project, Feisal Abdul Rauf, is a re-          Muslim, but that does not justify the                  country as a united people; a melting
a science class. That is, I may do a lot       ing are not always easy, because if          spectable imam who pursues harmony            categorizing of all Muslims as terror-                 pot of faiths, cultures, and individu-
of work in science class, but it is not        they were, it really wouldn’t be worth       between Muslims and Americans. In             ists. Therefore we cannot immedi-                      als. That’s what we stand for, and
difficult work, for me at least.               pursuing them.                               fact, he denied funding for the project       ately jump to the conclusion that                      that’s what we believe in.


Beck and Tea Party distort King Germans visit SSA
By David Jimenez                                                                                                                              (Continued from page 1)                            one had the same high hopes of returning
    August 28 remains one of the most          Rush Limbaugh becoming America’s                                                               We learned that a smile goes a long                   Even though we will be seeing our
                                                                                                    True
                                                                                                  “
solemn and important dates on our              ethical and religious gurus.                                                               way, and that laughter is always under-                partners in a few months, it was still so
nation’s calendar: the anniversary of              In his shows, Beck does not view                                                       stood. We learned how to cry from the                  hard to give them that last goodbye hug.
                                                                                              compassion is
Martin Luther King’s March on Wash-            liberal and progressive leaders as legiti-                                                 separation of a friend. We learned that                Every partner’s relationship went from
ington and “I Have a Dream” speech. On         mate political partners but as sinister                                                    memories can last a lifetime.                          “who is he/she?” to crying that he/she is
this prophetic summer day, King and            radicals bent on destroying America.
the followers of his movement outlined
a radical call for social and racial justice
                                               Beck has accused Obama (and his ex-               more than                                    But, most importantly, we learned
                                                                                                                                          the importance of friendship, whether it
                                                                                                                                                                                                 gone.
                                                                                                                                                                                                    Thora Hoffmann’s host, Lexie
                                               tended family) of having a “deep-seated
                                                                                              flinging a coin
                                                                                                                                          be local or from halfway around the                    Scozio, said, “Thora about cried. But I
that was deeply rooted in the American         hatred for white people and white cul-                                                     world. After a mere three weeks in                     couldn’t or I was going to break down.”
experience.                                    ture” (whatever that is). He compared                                                      America, the German students all wanted                   The hosts were able to bond so well
     Unfortunately, this year Glenn Beck
and the rising Tea Party were willing to
                                               the Democratic health care plan to
                                               Hitler’s Mein Kampf and Obama’s plan
                                                                                               to a beggar. -                             to come back to visit.
                                                                                                                                              Merle Haarbrücker said, “Hopefully
                                                                                                                                                                                                 with their exchange students in those
                                                                                                                                                                                                 three weeks that saying goodbye was,
                                                                                                    MLK
                                                                                                                           ”
launch their “Restore Honor” move-             for increased national service programs                                                    I can see you again this summer!” Every-               by far, the hardest part.
ment at the same date and place at the         (Peace Corps, AmeriCorps) to the
Lincoln Memorial, manipulating and             “brownshirts and then the SS [in Nazi
twisting King’s message for their reac-        Germany].”                                   system . . . [if it] guarantees secure
tionary agenda. It was not a day of                Both Beck and Palin have emerged as      employment or guaranteed income, dig-
honor, but a day of shame and distortion       members of a radical form of conserva-       nity will come within the reach of all.”
of one of our greatest American heroes.        tism that rejects any room for compro-            Glenn Beck’s emphasis on Charity
    Glenn Beck has insisted that the date      mise and dialogue and twists the legiti-     is wise, but limiting; as King points out,
was a coincidence and that he did not          mate fears of Tea Party members for          “true compassion is more than flinging
intend to hijack King’s message. But           irrationals’ ends. Frankly, these ex-        a coin to a beggar; it is not haphazard and
anyone observing the march and its             treme partisan leaders are in no position    superficial. It comes to see that [a
buildup can see that the Tea Party (and        to restore moral “honor” to this country.    society] which produces beggars needs
Beck) sought (ironically) to position              Glen Beck is right about one thing: it   restructuring.” Although Beck despises
themselves as the successors to the Civil      is vital to study history. However,          socialism, King’s views in reality are
Rights Movement. Beck originally               when we look at the past objectively we      closely aligned to many leftist goals and
claimed that the coincidence of the dates      can see that Martin Luther King’s mes-       principles. Historian Michael Eric
was a planning accident, but then pre-         sage for social change stands in sharp       Dyson notes that King described him-
sented it as “divine providence.”              contrast to the Tea Party’s ideology of      self as a “democratic socialist.” The Tea
    Despite fierce criticism from civil        hands-off government and uncontrolled        Party seems willing to use Martin Luther
rights leaders, Beck claims he is seeking      capitalism.                                  King, but they fail to fully grasp his
to “reclaim the civil rights movement.”            Beck has compared “social justice,”      values and message.
The rally was filled with images of King.      the Judeo-Christian doctrine of social            Beck refuses to take King at his true
Sarah Palin, a keynote speaker, pro-           and government commitment to serving         words and life for obvious reasons. For
                                                                                                                                                                         HADY SID
claimed that the mass of primarily Tea
Party activists held the same “spine and
moral courage . . . [of] Martin Luther
King.” After the rally, Beck even tear-
fully revealed his need to wear a bullet-
                                               the poor and building an equitable soci-
                                               ety, to Nazism and Communism. “So-
                                               cial justice,” however, is not a fringe
                                               belief but a central part of King’s phi-
                                               losophy and all leading Christian
                                                                                            Beck, social democracy is not just incor-
                                                                                            rect but part of a dangerous tradition of
                                                                                            absolute government power and the
                                                                                            destruction of freedom. King’s commit-
                                                                                            ment to social change, however, reveals
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proof vest at the event and the perceived      churches (including Beck’s Mormon            that progressivism is not inherently bad
threat of assassination. Beck, of course,      denomination).                               but has legitimate value and is part of a                           Published by Shady Side Academy
could become a martyr like King.                   For Beck, government has virtually       rich intellectual tradition. King’s vision           423 Fox Chapel Road, Pittsburgh, PA 15238 TEL: 412-968-3000
    The Restore Honor Rally would              no role in building social and economic      for America was broader than basic civil         The Shady Side News welcomes responses and opinions from students, faculty,
appear to some as nonpartisan: the rally       equality or advancing human dignity:         rights; he fought with equal passion          and readers. All letters must be signed. News reserves the right to edit for content
sought to restore moral values and ben-        community development or social pro-         against subtle forms of racism, poverty,      if libelous statements are involved. If necessary, letters will be edited for length.
efit veterans’ families (even liberals and     grams are pointless “hand outs.” King,       the Vietnam War, American imperial-
“evil” progressives could support that).       of course, had far higher faith in less      ism, and untamed capitalism.                  Editors-in-Chief........ Haley DeJulio, Marko Hudak, Jeremie Kim, Niteesh Sundaram
The question, of course, is who was            fortunate Americans and believed that             For Americans trying to survive in a     News Editors...........................Adi Krupski, Katie Prochownik, David Steiner
organizing and leading this rally, com-        government had a moral responsibility        system of failing schools, collapsing         Features Editor ...........................................................................Shamike Dighe
posed almost entirely of Tea Party             to combat poverty and unjust economic        families, poverty, gang violence, and         Asst. Features Editors...............................................Ayesha Shah, Anita Jain
members. Frankly, it is hard to believe        structures.                                  police brutality, King’s message remains      Opinions Editors........ ..................................Yuval Ben-David, David Jimenez
that our nation’s moral and spiritual              During the last months of his life,      more relevant than ever. Americans of         Asst. Opinions Editor ..................................................................Noah Schoen
revival should be led by a divisive talk       Martin Luther King worked to organize        all races, classes, and parties must reject   Sports Editors..................................... Michelle Bucklew, Christopher Miller
show host, infamous for offensive com-         sanitation workers and the Poor People’s     Beck’s divisive ideology and instead          Asst. Sports Editor .....................................................................Sarthak Dighe
ments, blind ideological thinking, con-        March on Washington. While King              embrace King’s “revolution of values”         Photographers....................................Kimberly Flit, Nick Gasbarro, Allie Hull
spiracy theories, and an “us vs. them”         recognized the importance of personal        to transform our nation. Only then can        Art Editor ............................................................................... Nicholas Barnes
view of the world.                             responsibility, he also stressed the role    we truly “restore honor” in this country      Layout Editors............................Lea Brown, Porter Ladley, Caitlin O’Connell
    It would be like Louis Farrakhan or        of society to place “responsibility on its   and reach King’s “Promised Land.”             Faculty Advisors.................................................Angela Irvine, Suzanne Belles
                                                                                                                               Shady Side News
                                                                                                                     Wednesday, October 20, 2010             Opinions 3
The Internet: Pittsburgh                                                                        Avid Alec’s Alaskan Adventure
loses race to gain speed                                                                        By Alec Brown
                                                                                                    This summer, I had the good fortune
By Adi Krupski                                 around the U.S. to send in applications          to be given a full scholarship to a pro-
    Things happen when we least expect         from which Google would later choose             gram run by the Student Conservation
them. This September, the internet             a location to begin its project to provide       Association in Alaska. The SCA is a
business witnessed a new feat. One             faster internet. Well, of course Pitts-          government funded group that provides
would presume this would take place in         burgh sent in an application.                    students in high school the opportunity
an area such as the Silicon Valley or New          But some cities seem downright des-          to learn about the environment as well as
York City, but no, it took place in a little   perate for this project to begin in their        first hand opportunities to work on
(and now very well known town) called          territory. On March 1, 2010, the mayor           conserving the environment.
Chattanooga, Tennessee.                        of Topeka, Kansas chose to change the                I got involved with the SCA by
    Chattanooga began to offer the fast-       name of the state capital from Topeka,           volunteering and then becoming a part of
est internet speed in the United States        Kansas to Google, Kansas for a month.            the Conservation Leadership Corps.
with one-gigabit-per-second internet           Yes, Google, Kansas. Signs were                  The CLC is a program where students
upload and download speeds. While              switched and billboards changed. And in          from around the Pittsburgh area learn to
Pennsylvania as a state is roughly in the      response, Google changed its name to             conserve the environment and to lead
middle spectrum of the averages of states      “Topeka” on April 1, 2010, for a day. Is         others in that direction. They do this by
with a rate of 9 Mbps speed (if you’re         this a little too much child’s play for the      working on a local crew in state parks in
not familiar, 1 gigabyte = 1024 megabit-       technological and political leaders of           Western Pennsylvania.
per-second or Mbps), Pittsburgh was            America?                                             I was then selected from these stu-
actually rated as the third top U.S. city          One day the U.S. might attain a              dents to work on a national crew work-
in May, 2010, with an average speed of         national average greater than that of            ing in the White Mountains National
14.18 Mbps.                                    countries such as Japan and South Korea          Recreation Area. We were assigned to
    However, no matter how proud we            — as for now we are left behind the              clear and build 1000 feet of trail. This
are of this speed, Chattanooga soon            curve. Yet we have hope. It is the small,        required chopping down trees, cutting
boasted that they are 250 times faster than    unexpected occurrences that cities like          into the tundra, dealing with permafrost,
the average internet speed in the nation;      Chattanooga provide for our nation ev-           and hauling rocks. This was hard work,
and Pittsburgh was left in the dust.           ery day that give us hope. Let us never          especially because it took twenty five
    But no matter; Google, the savior of       underestimate the power of the small.            minutes to hike up the mountain to our
the United States, announced a project         As Mohandas Gandhi once said, “A                 section of the trail.                         Alec’s forestry brigade. Building trails in Alaska’s White Mts.
earlier in the year that will provide faster   small body of determined spirits fired               Although we worked eight hours a
internet connections around the nation.        by an unquenchable faith in their mis-           day, we had lots of fun playing games            My eight person crew consisted            after four weeks, I would consider us all
This tremendous journey must start             sion can alter the course of history.” Let       and then going on a four day rec trip into    of boys and girls from California,           great friends. If anyone wants to get
somewhere, so Google asked mayors              us hold that faith.                              Denali National Park. There, we saw           New York, Boston, Connecticut,               involved with the SCA or just become
                                                                                                bears, wolves, caribou, moose, eagles,        Washington D.C. and myself. At first         involved in the conservation of the

Movie review                                                                                    foxes, and the tallest mountain in North      it was awkward and uncomfortable             environment, just email me at
                                                                                                America, Mt. Mckinley.                        because nobody knew each other. But          12browna@shadysideacademy.org.

By Manasa Reddy
    Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps
    Acting: 8.5/10                             dies the old blue collar Wall Street atti-
                                                                                                A Frenchman in Lawrenceville
                                                                                                By Haley DeJulio                                                                           brest line the cases. Everything looked
    Plot: 6.5/10                               tude, which gives way to the rise of the
    Cinematography: 8/10                       money-hungry, never-rich-enough drive                While in Boston over the summer, I                                                     and sounded amazing, so I decided to try
    Let’s start by being honest. As much       of the young business unsavvy genera-            discovered a wonderful bakery called                                                       a wide variety. The plain croissant and
as movie legend Michael Douglas and            tion.                                            Flour that I found irresistible. It had                                                    pan au chocolat were buttery, light and
promising new kid on the block Carrie              Jacob ultimately unites with Gordon          three locations and basically kept me                                                      crispy, and the vanilla bavarois was like
Mulligan protect the credibility of a          in order to bring to fruition his dreams of      alive for eight weeks, but I was suffering                                                 a fluffy vanilla mousse with a spongy
production, no one expected Disney             independent success in his new world,            severe Flour withdrawal symptoms af-                                                       vanilla genoise on the bottom for some
Channel drop-out Shia LaBeouf to carry         but as the story unfolds, old tricks come        ter returning to Pittsburgh. In despera-                                                   contrast in texture. Everything I tasted
any weight in this risky addition to the       out, spirits are crushed, and basic human        tion, I searched the Internet for new local                                                was obviously fresh and made from
1987 production. However, I was both           dignity sacrificed. We see a young man           bakeries and happily stumbled upon a                                                       scratch the old-fashioned way that morn-
surprised and delighted to admit that          claw his way to the top of the mountain          real gem, La Gourmandine in                                                                ing.
this movie truly delivers the punch,           only to realize that when he was at the          Lawrenceville.                                                                                 I’ve returned six times since then and
living up to the dramatic advertising and      bottom was when he was closest to his                La Gourmandine (from the French                                                        every time I find something new to
the quality of the original. The acting        essence.                                         “gourmand”, meaning someone who likes                                                      enjoy. It took me three visits to try their
was largely authentic, the plot line clean,        Overall, I found the acting to be            to eat) had apparently opened at the end                                                   croissant aux amandes (almond crois-
and the twists satisfying.                     appropriate, although sloppy at times.           of June. The location at 4605 Butler                                                       sant), which is crisp and sweet on the
    The story follows Jacob Moore              Shia LeBeouf really managed to dig him-          Street didn’t surprise me – high quality                                                   outside and soft with a creamy texture
(LaBeouf), a young man playing with            self out of the 7 ft. by 7ft. hole of his, and   restaurants and bakeries have been pop-                                                    on the inside, tasting of vanilla and al-
the big dogs in the New York Stock             this holds promise for his future roles.         ping up all over Lawrenceville in recent                                                   mond in just the right amounts. This
Exchange. This parallels with the release      Titans Frank Langella and Michael Dou-           months – but the promise of an authentic      viding Pittsburgh with the high quality      delectable almond pastry has become
from jail of defunct Wall Street Execu-        glas really managed to deliver with an air       French bakery was a novel concept in          patisserie and boulangerie found in ev-      my new favorite.
tive Gordon Gekko (Douglas), whose             of wisdom that no one else possessed.            Pittsburgh.                                   ery Parisian street. Needless to say I           La Gourmandine also offers savory
years of cheating the system cost him              Lastly, Josh Brolin was greasy, sin-             “What about Jean-Marc Chatellier’s        made my way to La Gourmandine with           options, including turkey sandwiches,
eight years of life.                           ister, and all the while tame, the perfect       French Bakery in Millvale?” you say,          all possible haste.                          tuna sandwiches, and ham sandwiches
    Douglas plays a man whose time for         portrayal of a man with no real bound-           but Jean-Marc has not remained true to            As soon as you open the bakery door      on freshly made and sliced baguette.
reflection has reformed his belief that        aries. Ultimately, Carrie Mulligan came          his very French roots. He makes some          your senses are assaulted with the irre-     Quiches, pizzas, and savory tarts are
“greed is good.” Jacob is dating Gekko’s       short of my expectations, but, to her            fine pastries to be sure, but has Ameri-      sistible aromas of fine quality butter,      also always in stock along with a unique
daughter, Winnie (Mulligan), a high end        credit, her role was underwritten and she        canized his product to the extent that it     sugar and yeast, conjuring up images of      selection of freshly made artisanal French
model of an earthy crunchy hippie envi-        did well with what she had.                      is no longer always recognizable as au-       puff pastry in all its glory. Baskets of     bread. Get to this new bakery early and
ronmental activist who incidentally has            Rather than seeing this as a success-        thentically French. Fabien and Lisanne        croissants, brioche, and chouquettes         often, because if you arrive after 11:00
an embittered opinion of Wall Street           ful reprise of the 1987 predecessor, look        Moreau, on the other hand, opened their       overflow on the counter, and perfect         A.M., you may miss out on some of
executives since her father abandoned          at this as a movie that can stand on its         bakery with the express intent of pro-        rows of fruit tarts, parfaits, and paris-    your favorites.
their family during his prison stint.          own for the modern generation and the
    Early tensions on “the street,” in-
cited by falsified rumors circulated by
rising executive (Josh Brolin), lead to the
                                               prevailing mindset.
                                                   But perhaps you will save your
                                               $11.50 in the bank for some distant
                                                                                                Summer Reading: Why we need it
                                                                                                By Josh Lawrence
death of Jacob’s mentor Louis Zabel            occasion; because “you can never be                  I am sure that I was not the only one     who do not read as much a chance to read     read books that they would not nor-
(played by Frank Langella). With Zabel         too rich.”                                                                                     when they would not normally do so.”         mally choose on their own.”
                                                                                                to grumble a little when it came time to
                                                                                                fulfill my summer reading requirements.           If you ask the average student whether       And then there are all the other ben-

 What’s Hot/What’s Not
                                                                                                But, like everyone else, I looked only at     or not they like to read on a daily basis,   efits from reading, such as expanding
                                                                                                the work that was necessary, and not the      chances are you’re going to hear “no.” So    your vocabulary, sparking interests, and
                                                                                                reason that we do the work. The reason        summer reading gives the non-readers a       bestowing knowledge.
  By Sam Goodman and Maggie Leech                                                               why SSA does summer reading is quite          chance to lose themselves in literature in       So yes, summer reading may be an
  WHAT’S HOT                                     WHAT’S NOT                                     simple: to get people to READ.                a way that they would not normally do        annoying thing to do right at the end of
                                                                                                    As English teacher Elizabeth Garvey       on their own. “Also,” continues Ms.          summer, but it is also one thing that can
  Glee                                           American Idol                                  puts it, “Summer reading gives students       Garvey, “it allows regular readers to        never hurt you.
  Sperry’s                                       Converse
  German & French Students
  Arnold Palmers
                                                 Regular Students
                                                 Gatorade
                                                                                                Military chic: must-have for fall
                                                                                                By Alex Levy                                                          on to the army trend early on, found
  Girls playing field hockey                     Boys playing field hockey                          If there’s one thing that you can’t go without this fall season   that her army jacket became essen-
  Eco                                            Ego                                            it’s a military inspired wardrobe. Military inspired jackets,         tial once November came around
                                                                                                pants, and boots can be found everywhere: Vogue magazine, store       last fall. So, if you have a pair of
  Shirtdresses & jean jackets                    Jeggings                                       windows, and even on Shady Side’s campus.                             army pants sitting in your closet, or
  Hoop Earrings                                  Dangle Earrings                                    One advantage of this trend is that it even fits within the       you are looking for a unique pair of
                                                                                                guidelines of Shady Side’s dress code. Junior Shamika Dighe           shoes, you can rock the military
  Concussions                                    Swine ‘09                                      says, “I love army pants, they go with almost anything and you        look, and even at school!
  Charlie Batch                                  Ben Roethlisberger                             can wear them year round.” A bit of army green is a great way             Junior Camara Copeland, a bold
                                                                                                to spice up a favorite fall outfit.                                   fashionista, advises, “If you’ve got
  Super Heroes                                   The Wild Wild West                                 Junior Tess Rosenbloom has also been enjoying this military       it, flaunt it.” Don’t be afraid to try a new look, because this
  Stories and Appreciations                      The Assembly Show                              trend. She recently wore her military boots with a white lace         fall, utilitarian is in so you’ll be comfortable and runway chic
  Lady Gaga                                      Taylor Swift                                   dress, giving an edge to an otherwise girly outfit.                   in no time. This dress code appropriate trend is a great way to
                                                                                                    Another great way to display this trend would be to keep          keep up to date on the latest style, without having to avoid the
  Consol Energy Center                           The Mellon Arena                               warm with an army green jacket before the cold winter months          dean’s office. So do yourself, and Mrs. Skinner, a favor, and
                                                                                                require something heavier. Junior Lindsay Cozen, who caught           add some military inspired flare to your wardrobe.
4 School News O’Nan
Man oh man, it’s Stewart
                                                                                                                   Shady Side News
                                                                                                                   Wednesday, October 20, 2010


                                                                                                                                                        Book Review: Last
By Anthony Costa
    Visiting author Stewart O’Nan met
with Angela Irvine and Judith Sanders’
                                                                                                                                                        Night at the Lobster
English classes before his assembly in                                                                                                                  By Anthony Costa
Rauh discussing Last Night at the Lob-                                                                                                                      As I closed the book after finishing
ster, September 20. Mr. O’Nan was                                                                                                                       the last page of Stewart O’Nan’s novel,
kind enough to stay the whole period                                                                                                                    Last Night at the Lobster, my action
and answer all questions that students                                                                                                                  seemed to merge into that of Manny’s
asked, including the following:                                                                                                                         locking of the restaurant door for the
    Q#1: Manny’s memories of his                                                                                                                        final time. O’Nan’s detailed description
Abuelita (grandmother) usually happen                                                                                                                   of the multi-layered tasks done by line
when he is acting, once again, in a “re-                                                                                                                cooks, waitresses, dishwashers, and jani-
sponsible way” - how do you view his                                                                                                                    tors made me feel for the first time that      jewelry gift for Christmas. However, he
thoughts about his Abuelita?                                                                                                                            I just finished a busy eight hour shift.       still has feelings for his old girlfriend,
    A#1: Manny feels that he has to live                                                                                                                    Manny’s careful routine and dedi-          waitress Jacquie, and is often distracted
up to the example of his Abuelita, who                                                                                                                  cated work ethic carries the theme that        by thoughts of an ideal life where they
was hardworking and uncomplaining,                                                                                                                      regardless of the nature of a person’s job,    would run off to be together. He wishes
even though her life was very tough.                                                                                           Photo by Nick Gasbarro
                                                                                                                                                        there is value and reward in doing a job       that she held the same dreams. She
However, there is still a self pitying side         Rock the Lobster. Stewart O’Nan shares character insights with                                      well, even when the long term goals            seems to represent a flash of excitement
of Manny when he thinks of his Abuelita,            an audience of English students in the remodeled Memorial Hall.                                     disappear.                                     in a life dominated by daily routine.
where he feels he has lost everything,                                                                                                                      Manny knows that this is the final             What is best about the book and what
including Jackie and the Lobster. So                Deena. He knows he should not feel                breaking of the Christmas ornament af-            night for his restaurant, but continues to     really satisfies Manny are those people
there is a double edge when he thinks of            more for Jacquie, but what the reader has         ter all this time symbolic because it             show the same vigilance, even in the face      that he serves and who appreciate what
his Abuelita because he knows he has to             to decide is if his feelings for Jacquie are      foreshadows that the last night at the            of Shakespearean weather conditions            he does for them. Coach is one of his
work hard, but at the same time Manny’s             more than that of Deena or can his                Lobster might affect all of the employ-           echoing his fears for his own future. But      regular customers, and Manny makes
woes incline him to question what the               feelings be attributed to the anticipation        ees more than they know?                          he is not the only one who continues to        the extra effort not only to serve him but
impact and meaning of his work are.                 of the Lobster’s closing. He does see                 A#3: Wow, that’s pretty good. Well            show loyalty to the cause, and he is           help get his car out of a snow bank,
    Q#2: The “Marlin” seems to be an                himself as the Marlin. It’s funny be-             to me when I was writing it, it made              surprised when staff members come to           leaving “his tie ruined,” and his clothes
overarching symbol - “Somewhere un-                 cause in the movie, Hollywood wanted              Manny think what a waste it was for the           work even when they have not been              wet and freezing. The final irony comes
der the dust and shellac there must have            Manny to steal the Marlin, and I knew             ornament to break. The delicateness of            offered a new position at the Olive            when they stay open to service a bus
been a real fish once. How long ago?”               that was a big stupid gesture. The                the ornament kind of represented the              Garden. The book highlights teamwork           only to find that the passengers already
    Does this represent Manny and his               stealing of the Marlin is the first impulse       delicateness of the family of employees           and trying one’s personal best; there is       ate at another restaurant that made them
unhappiness with always living his life             as an author you have to crush because            at the Lobster, and although they never           a comfort and an affection that develops       sick and now they need to use the bath-
in a responsible manner?                            you have to ask yourself, “Would                  say, “Nicolette, you’re my family mem-            within that team, even for strong and          rooms. He even offers up glasses of
    A#2: Yes, and he is not happy with              Manny ever steal the Marlin?” Hell no.            ber,” in many ways she is. The breaking           somewhat disruptive personalities.             water as he wishes he had cleaned the
the falseness of his feelings. Since it is              Q#3: Does Manny see his fate in the           of the ornament as a waste, kind of                   Manny plans to marry his pregnant          bathrooms prior to their arrival. Every
the last day, his feelings are tensed up;           delicate ancient Christmas ornament that          symbolizes that the closing of the Lob-           girlfriend and dutifully steals time to slip   restaurant should be so lucky to have an
he thinks he feels more for Jacquie than            breaks on the last night? And is the              ster is a waste too.                              to the Mall and buy her a last minute          employee like this manager, Manny.


Find time for clubs                                                                                   Man on the Street wants to know...
                                                                                                      by Tierney Weitz
By Ava Lazor                                        learn in the classroom to real-life situations,
     Get up. Dressed. First period. Free.           one such club being Mock Trial,” jokes Dan
                                                                                                      If you could spend a day with a cast member from “The Jersey Shore,” who would it be and why?
Advisee meeting. Last period. Locker.               Coyne. The experiences in clubs build traits
Sports. Home. Facebook. Homework.                   such as cooperation, leadership, and initia-
Repeat.                                             tive, driving both friends and strangers to-
     Considering the nonstop talk about             ward a common goal.
how frantic and strenuous high school can                “What’s the best part about clubs?”
be, it seems like the days run together into        asks junior Jenna Rosenbloom. “Having
a lull right around November. Besides               the opportunity to be part of a group and
that, there is hardly any time between the          meet new friends!” Sharing a common
items on our to-do lists to break the cycle         interest is undoubtedly a catalyst for
for a dose of relaxation, socializing, and          friend making, so why not risk talking to
free-flowing energy.                                someone new for a change?
     Luckily, contrary to all of our claims              Within every fun-filled meeting and
of having ‘no time to spare,’ a small               free snack, success can also take prece-
amount of sanity lies just beyond 8th               dence. As skills are built from practice
period – its name is Club Time.                     after practice for clubs such as Model UN
     Within each of our overcrowded sched-          and the Egerian, teams often attend com-
ules, there is opportunity for relaxation,          petitions to acknowledge their hard work
creativity, challenges, and time with               in hopes of having something to show for                                                               “Snooki. Even though she’s a gre-
friends, all centralized around our inter-          it. For instance, after the team’s phenom-                                                          nade, she seems like the most fun, and
ests. Do you like making people smile as            enal year, the Speech and Debate club had            “Ronnie, because he’s down to have             I’m actually taller than her.”                 “DJ Pauly D, because he is DTS.”
you strum on a guitar? Join Kords for               two members, Frankie Costa, graduating            fun and likes to smoosh.” - Marc Malloy              - Chloe Gulati                               - Mackenzie Stevens
Kids! Are you into making people fall in            class 2010, and senior David Jimenez,

                                                                                                      Visiting Haiti, eight months later
love with you? Sign up for Italian Club!            finish fifth in the nation, proving that
None of the DOZENS of available clubs               persistence in even a non-academic pro-
strike your fancy? Find a space, teacher            gram has major payoffs.
advisor, interest, and create one!                       All things considered, there are no down-    By Tess Rosenbloom                                school, health, food, drinking water, rec-     was one of the ten students who did not go
     “The best thing about clubs in this school     sides to joining clubs; they provide relief to        As news of the earthquake that hit            reation, that people die in subhuman           to school the day of the quake, and therefore
is that students can create a club depending        an increasingly monotonous school life,           Haiti eight months ago wanes, the coun-           conditions.”                                   is one of the ten out of 150 who survived.
on their interests. There has been the Family       potential for even more friends to be made at     try remains devastated. As cameras turn               Haiti’s weak government was severely           According to the National Public Ra-
Guy club, the Grumpy Old Man’s club, and            Shady Side, and enlightenment on topics of        toward other world matters, its relevance         damaged by this recent earthquake. Its         dio, 2.5 million Haitian children do not
the Personal Finance club. “If there’s an           an already fostered interest, strengthening an    seems to fade as well. In order to maintain       leaders have been slow at making deci-         have access to schools, and the earth-
interest in it, there’s a club for it!” commented   entire spectrum of abilities.                     awareness, I have interviewed men whom            sions and have been “overwhelmed by the        quake damaged or destroyed 5,000
Christine Czapleski.                                     Mrs. Greene touched upon one of              I met in Haiti after the quake.                   logistical complexities of issues like re-     schools. Additionally, a large number of
     Junior Betsy Vuchinich also had some-          these abilities. “Legitimate clubs provide            Marc-junior Lormis is a 24-year-              moval of debris and identification of safe     Haiti’s ministries and civil servants were
thing to say about club subjects. “We               means for students to develop their lead-         old interpreter for Project Medishare             relocation sites,” writes Deborah Sontag       killed, an additional set back for their
have such a wide variety of clubs here.             ership skills.”                                   Hospital. When the earthquake hit Haiti           of The New York Times.                         struggling government.
There is something everyone can do! I’m                  And abilities you can gain! Consider-        on January 12, 2010, he was watching                  There has also been skepticism con-            Another man who remembers the
really looking forward to being a part of           ing the nonstop talk about how frantic and        television at home.                               cerning the monetary pledges that coun-        earthquake is Claudy Pierre, an in-
all of the clubs I joined because every             strenuous high school can be, you have                 “It was the first time I felt a feeling so   tries have promised Haiti. As of three         terpreter as well as transporter for the
single one interests me.”                           the chance to avoid the November lull             different and destructive, I was so afraid        months ago, only ten percent of the $5.3       hospital. “I remember I was talking with
     Aside from a break from the pressures of       when the days begin to run together and           of dying that I saw death in front of me and      billion pledged by governments at a United     my friends inside of a car next to my house
school work, clubs at Shady Side also give          follow any activity you desire. Clubs can         I’ve raced like crazy when I went outside,        Nations conference has been distributed        and then the car started to shake. I thought
students a chance to engage in activities of        offer all this and more, and opportunity          it was as if I was in a dream: houses             to the Haitian government. Haitians have       someone was trying to sit in the back of
astounding influence and merit. “Legitimate         waits every day after school; you just            destroyed or damaged, people (friends)            become increasingly impatient as they          the car, but it wasn’t that. But when I took
clubs allow students to apply what they             have to reach out and grab it!                    died or breakage of the arms and legs, it         live packed together in tent cities.           a look at the mountain I saw a lot of house
                                                                                                      was the total disaster. In a few word, the            “My hopes for Haiti are to have good       collapsed and then I told everybody that’s
                                                                                                      earthquake is the most hurtful thing ever         leaders, so we can have a better future        an earthquake. When I got off the car I saw
                                                                                                      happens to me since I was born,” he says.         where everybody in Haiti can go to school,     a lot of people on the ground bleeding with
                                                                                                          Asked about Haiti’s government,               go to see a doctor every month, find a job,    their legs broken, head injured. There
                                                                                                      Marc voiced his disdain. “[Americans]             have a house, have food, etcetera,” says       were so many people on the ground I
                                                                                                      should know that Haiti is a very poor             Marc. “Haiti can be changed, but we need       didn’t know what to do.”
                                                                                                      country because our leaders are more              help. All my family depends on me, so I’d          Claudy lost his house, his car, and
                                                                                                      sensitive for their pockets than they should      like to find the chance go to the States to    many of his friends from the quake.
                                                                                                      be for the people, so we never have good          study and then come back to work down              His hopes are to come to the U.S. with
                                                                                                      leaders. In Haiti, it’s completely different      here, help my family and change the way        his son and continue school here, as he has
                                                                                                      in the sense that the government is like a        that things are doing in Haiti.”               stopped attending his school in Haiti.
                                                                                                      business profit and beneficiaries fill their          Samuel Bastien is 21 years old and         Afterwards, he would like to return to his
                                                                                                      pockets fighting almost daily in order to         is also working at Project Medishare, as       country to help other Haitians.
                                                                                                      keep the palace as their own homes. The           a pharmacy assistant for ten dollars a day.        Haiti needs assistance, and will con-
                                                                                                      president and his henchmen ... are the                “When the earthquake happen I was          tinue to for years to come. So, inform
                                                                                                      most immoral people in the country, and           home. I didn’t go to school that day           yourself. Join Paul Hendershot’s Edu-
                                                                                                      they still intend to bully people disadvan-       because I had a head pain, everythings of      Haiti club. Learn about Haiti’s history.
  Juniors give up a Sunday afternoon to raise money for prom.                                         taged. This does not affect their con-            this day is always in my head like a scare     Form opinions. And above all, maintain
  Surprise VFD visit helps earn big bucks washing a Firetruck.                                        science that people don’t have access to          movie every time I close my eyes.” Samuel      your awareness.
                                                                                               Shady Side News
                                                                                     Wednesday, October 20, 2010                                                 School News 5
Gaga’s meat dress
By Delaney Fischer                            her endorsing the PETA movment. Jes-
    At the 2010 Video Music Award’s           sica Gurrentz gave Gaga negative feed-
this September, Lady Gaga was spotted         back by saying, “I think it was a very
wearing what has been named ‘the meat         loud statement from her, but she may be
dress.’ She claimed on the Ellen              taking it a little too far. I know that’s
DeGeneres Show that she wore the dress        she’s weird but that’s like ew. It went
because she “wanted to illustrate that        from weird to gross [after finding out the
humans can be treated like pieces of          meat was real and not fake].” Madi
meat, as she feels gays are, thanks to        Sheerer claims that Gaga just wanted
laws like the ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell           attention, and Ellen Boyle said she was
policy.’”                                     straight up annoyed by the meat dress.
    The dress was made with real meat             Other students, like Max Rosen and
by designer Franc Fernandez’s family          Toran Spence, have no real opinion.
butcher as revealed by MTV Style. The         Rosen doesn’t even like Gaga. “I didn’t
dress seems to have sparked an opinon         even see the meat dress. 99% of the time
from most. While on the Ellen DeGreneres      I will change the station when she comes
Show, Ellen explained to Gaga that she        on the radio. I could care less about Lady
understands she is trying to make a huge      Gaga,” he said. The only senior that
statement but expressed that there are        seemed to have a positive opinion on the
other ways. She then presented Lady           dress was Chelsea Begg. “I thought it
Gaga with a dress made of vegetables.         was an interesting way to make a state-
    Shady Side Academy seniors were           ment. I mean, I would never wear it, but
eager to share their thoughts on her          Gaga can pull that stuff off,” she said.                                                                                                                                                                   Photo by Kimberly Flit
fashion statement. Kate Rosenzweig                Throughout the night at the VMAs,                                            Facebook additions. Kyle Smith, Dana Burgard, Austin Davidheiser, Leah Powers, and
stated, “As a vegaterian, I kinda thought     Gaga was constantly discussing the                                               Kegan Borland line up for a photo. Missing are Chris Rose and Chuck Shafer.

                                                                                                                               New faculty settles in at SSA
it was disgusting. I am a strong believer     DADT policy. She brought soldiers to
in fashion and making a statement, but        the awards show with her, and after the
that wasn’t the way.”                         VMAS, she posted on twitter “All
    Fellow student Adam Petraglia also        hands on deck Lil Monsters: Key senate                                           By Jeremie Kim                                  tory. A Shady Side alumnus, class of ’06,       Carnegie Mellon University and when
gave negative feedback on the dress stat-     vote this Tues. on DADT repeal. We                                                    This year, Shady Side welcomes into        when asked why he decided to come to            asked why he decided to come to Shady
ing, ” I thought it was hyprocritical         need 60 senators. Call your senator                                              the community six new faculty members           SSA, Mr. Shafer responded, “It just felt        Side, he replied, “I wanted the change. At
because I have seen her as an animal          now.”                                                                            in a variety of departments. Last spring        good. I have the burden of figuring out how     college level, there wasn’t enough time
activist, and clearly wearing meat is not         Since the Awards show, Gaga has                                              saw a significant number of departing           to be a teacher at Shady Side, but I don’t      for family and that’s what it boils down to.
supporting the values on which PETA           been having a ‘twitter war’ with Senator                                         faculty, for reasons ranging from mater-        have the burden of figuring out the school.     I also wanted to bring what knowledge I’ve
stands.” While Gaga is a known animal         John McCain and has posted videos on                                             nity leave to graduate school to a new job      I think my being an alum helped those in        acquired at the college level to high school
activist, there is no public connection of    YouTube trying to rally for the cause.                                           as department head. However, with the           charge of hiring feel comfortable giving        students and athletes.” He also said the
                                                                                                                               new faculty members’ diversity of expe-         me this opportunity.” According to Mr.          transition has been flawless so far, and

Lady Gaga concert
By Samantha Goodman
                                                                                                                               riences and knowledge, we are confident in
                                                                                                                               their ability to fill this large gap.
                                                                                                                                    Kyle Smith, one of the new additions
                                                                                                                               to the history department, teaches two
                                                                                                                                                                               Shafer, his transition from Williams Col-
                                                                                                                                                                               lege to teaching at his alma mater went
                                                                                                                                                                               great and he loves what he is doing and says
                                                                                                                                                                               he is at home here. He adds, “It’s also hard,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                               students, parents, and staff were very
                                                                                                                                                                                                                               welcoming. Mr. Rose tries to remain
                                                                                                                                                                                                                               physically active, playing sports of all
                                                                                                                                                                                                                               kinds. He also enjoys camping, the out-
     Lady Gaga made her Pittsburgh de-                                                                                         U.S. History classes and one Patterns of        but it’s a good kind of hard.”                  doors, and travelling.
but with her magical Monster Ball Tour                                                                                         Western Thought class. As well as having                                                             Leah Powers, one of the new addi-
at the Consol Energy Center, September                                                                                         a role in the classroom, he coaches basket-                                                     tions to the science department, teaches
5. From the moment the curtain dropped,                                                                                        ball and Model U.N. Prior to joining us at                                                      chemistry as well as environmental sci-
she impressed the audience with her                                                                                            the Academy, Mr. Smith “taught history                                                          ence. She also coaches girls’ soccer and is
lavish costumes and sets, but most defi-                                                                                       at the college level for the past four years                                                    a part of environmental club. Ms. Powers
nitely with her voice. She took the stage                                                                                      at Grand Valley State University in Michi-                                                      has been teaching for about seven years at
by storm, bringing each of her “little                                                                                         gan.” Despite his status as a college                                                           public and private schools, but last year
                                                                                                                               professor, Mr. Smith “was looking for a                                                         she stayed at home with her newborn.
monsters” deeper into the spectacle as
                                                                                                                               transition to a prep school and was really                                                      When asked why she decided to teach at
every song went by.                                                                                                                                                                                                            Shady Side, she replied, “Well, there was
                                                                                                                               attracted to Shady Side for its residential
    She wore everything from a purple                                                                                          life.” He also thinks that Pittsburgh is a                                                      a job available. I guess it was close to home,
leopard corset to a latex nun suit, rocking                                                                                    fantastic city.                                                                                 an easy commute, and I want to be teach-
number one hits and spectacular ballads                                                                                             Mr. Smith commented on the transi-                                                         ing again. It seemed like a nice place to
alike. Whether electrifying the audience                                                                                       tion from university to high school, say-           When asked about his hobbies, Mr.           work.” She goes on to talk about the
with upbeat hits or toning it down with                                                                                        ing, “The transition has been smooth. I         Shafer replied, “Too many! The impor-           transition and says “It’s been great. I
jazzy piano numbers, Lady Gaga never                                                                                           was helped out by many of the generous          tant ones… I like to ride my bike. I’m an       really like it. It doesn’t feel like I’m new
stopped shining. She was the perfect                                                                                           people at Shady Side and the students have      avid amateur bicyclist. I try to write          as much as it did in other schools. I think
choice for first female performer at the                                                                                       been great, even if I have suffered four        poetry myself. Writing in general is            soccer really helped because of its pre-
Consol.                                                                                                                        Pirates losses of the five times I have been    important in life, I feel, and especially       season, where everyone met even before
    I was lucky enough to attend this                                Photo by Tierney Weitz                                    there.” Mr. Smith’s hobbies include             important to me. Music as well - I play the     school started.” When asked about her
concert, and my friends and I all agree       liberating, and full of Gaga’s little mon-                                       golfing, listening to country and jazz on       guitar and sing. My hobbies are not             hobbies, Ms. Powers responded, “I play
that it was magnificent. Sophomore Joe        sters!”                                                                          his old record player, and when he can,         professional, because for me they are           soccer. I like to sew. But I spend most of
McMahon could not have stated it bet-             As the show came to an end, it was                                           travelling.                                     more spiritually refreshing, and because        my time with the kids. We hike and
ter when he said, “As Gaga’s biggest fan,     clear that Lady Gaga had left everyone                                                Also joining us this year is Dana          I’m not that good at them; haha right!”         camp… walk dogs.
                                                                                                                               Burgard who teaches all levels of Ger-              Kegan Borland, one of this year’s                Austin Davidheiser joins us this
I thought the Monster Ball was glorious.      amazed and wanting more. That’s just
                                                                                                                               man as well as helping out with PE Fitness      new additions to the history department,        year at the Hillman as the technical coor-
The stage, outfits, and her performance       what her biggest fans will get if they                                                                                                                                           dinator of SSA Theater. He runs all of the
all held up to her unique image. The                                                                                           and Untucked this year. When asked why          teaches World History I and coaches swim-
                                              choose to attend her next Pittsburgh                                                                                                                                             events that come to our school and is
                                                                                                                               she decided to come teach at Shady Side,        ming. Mr. Borland recently graduated
show was beautifully strange, morbid,         concert February 26, 2011.                                                                                                                                                       currently designing the fall play along
                                                                                                                               Ms. Burgard replied, “I actually worked         from Kenyon College, majoring in his-


Interactive assemblies
                                                                                                                               with a Shady Side alum recently and so          tory and minoring in humanities, before         with student technicians. Before the Acad-
                                                                                                                               when I heard of a position opening, he said     he joined the Academy. “I knew I wanted         emy, Mr. Davidheiser worked at Kurtztown
                                                                                                                               it’s a great place, he loved working there,     to get into teaching and I’m from Pitts-        University as the technical director and
By Maggie Leech                                                                                                                and that I had to see what it was all about.”   burgh, so I know people here. Also I            scene shop supervisor.
                                                                                                                               Previous to Shady Side, Ms. Burgard taught      shadowed here last year,” said Mr. Borland           Before Kurtztown, he worked with
    Every school year is marked by its leader. Last
                                                                                                                               German and coached soccer and rowing at         when asked why he decided to come to the        high school students at Penn Governors’
year, Ben Ross kept assemblies funny and enter-
                                                                                                                               the Philips Andover Academy.                    Academy. He goes on to say that his             School of Arts. Mr. Davidheiser decided
taining with his Assembly Show. This year,                                                                                                                                                                                     to come to Shady Side because it was an
Student Council President Brody Kelley is mak-                                                                                      She comments on the transition,            transition to teaching at a high school has
                                                                                                                                                                                                                               interesting opportunity to work with high
                                                                                              Photo curtesy of the Academian




                                                                                                                               “The transition went well. It is a lot          been pretty smooth so far and that he
ing some changes of his own. While Monday                                                                                                                                                                                      school students again as well as work in a
                                                                                                                               different coming from a seven-day board-        enjoys being in the classroom.          Mr.
assemblies still remain the same, Friday assem-                                                                                                                                Borland’s hobbies include participating in      new facility.
                                                                                                                               ing school, but I really like it a lot here.”
blies have received an extreme makeover.                                                                                       Ms. Burgard enjoys playing soccer, sing-        triathlons, golfing, rock climbing, and              Asked about the transition to SSA, he
    They contain three sections: Appreciations,                                                                                ing, and travelling.                            playing poker.                                  replied, “It’s going pretty well. It’s a busy
Concerns and Suggestions, and Stories for the                                                                                       Charles Shafer is among the new                Joining us this year as Head Athletic       environment here. Unlike most faculty,
Good of the Community. Appreciations recognize                                                                                 science faculty and teaches four sections       Trainer, Chris Rose’s responsibilities          I don’t have a daily schedule. I am dealing
the little things Shady Side community members                                                                                 of Concepts of Chemistry, his mission           include injury recognition, evaluation,         with lots of outside events such as the
do around campus when they think no one is                                                                                     statement being: “I try to teach how to act     treatment and rehabilitation for athletes.      Hillman series as well as day to day assem-
looking. Concerns and Suggestions give students        Senior Rob Stokes                                                       and think like a chemist.” Before his           Along with these responsibilities, Mr. Rose     blies, advisees, and upcoming concerts.”
and faculty the chance to express their concerns about any aspect of the community                                             career started at the Academy, Mr. Shafer       also shares his knowledge with underclass-      Mr. Davidheiser is a hockey fan, though
and follow with their idea of how to fix or improve it. Stories for the Good of the                                            attended Williams College, studying chem-       men in Health I and II. For the past five       he roots for the Flyers, and he enjoys
Community can either be a parable or simply something funny a student did that                                                 istry, poetry, architecture, and art his-       years, Mr. Rose was the athletic trainer at     spending time with his kids when he can.
week. In addition, all assemblies end with the singing of the Alma Mater.
    Brody says, “The idea behind the new assembly format was to make the
assembly period a more community-based time-frame.” Many students are                                                          Scribes change it up for new school year
enjoying the new system because they feel more connected to the people on stage.                                               By Haley DeJulio                                peared to the right of the Writing Center,      that block, and you are good to go! If you
    Brody mentioned another goal of the change was to “give the student body the                                                   A new school year brings new his-           as well as the poster displaying all of the     don’t have time to sign up and would
ability to become more actively involved in the Academy’s life, as well as give it                                             tory essays, English papers, and college        scribes’ pictures (for easy identifica-         rather show-up unannounced, then drop
the opportunity to give their input in a public and accountable setting.” All in all,                                          supplements. What better way to ease            tion). Pretty soon, this new schedule           period scribing is for you!
the new assembly schedule seems to be a success and enjoyed by the student body.                                               yourself into the workload or crystallize       will be in full use.                                During these eight periods every
    A major change in this year’s Student Council is the reformation of a Constitu-                                            your writing than to visit a scribe and get         The idea is simple. There will be           cycle, walk-ins are welcome, no signing
tion. Brody, along with Mr. LaCasse, has been working throughout the summer to                                                 another opinion!                                Post-It Notes available next to the             up necessary.
propose the Student Council’s mission and the qualifications and duties of officers.                                               This year, the system has changed a         “Master Schedule,” which lists all of the           Listen for our announcement at as-
    Brody explained, “Years ago there was an official Student Council constitution                                             bit. For those of you who were with us          periods that scribes are available and          sembly and watch for the grand opening
that was passed down from class to class. Unfortunately, at some point in the                                                  last year, you remember the email based         displays the names of those available           of the Writing Center in the coming
Academy’s history, it disappeared. The new constitution was established to                                                     appointment system. Well, this year, it         during each period.                             weeks for more information!
resurrect this tradition, and give the student government a more definitive lay out.”                                          can all be done at school without the use           Find a free in your schedule that               Everyone, from freshmen to seniors,
    The constitution was also designed to legitimize the Student Council and “allow                                            of electronic communication.                    matches a scribe-filled period on the           is welcome to stop by for writing help
for accountability on both the government and student sides.” It is great to see the                                               You may have noticed the large, navy        master schedule, write your name on a           and suggestions. We hope to see you in
democratic process is alive and well at Shady Side Academy!                                                                    blue schedule that mysteriously ap-             sticky note, post it in the blank space in      the Writing Center soon!
6 Sports stays on course What happened to
Cross Country
                                                            Shady Side News
                                                            Wednesday, October 20, 2010




By Shamika Dighe and
Jack Bagamery
    Both boys’ and girls’ cross country
                                                                                                                                                   Volleyball, anyway?
                                                                                                                                                   By Sara Policastro and Carianne Lee
teams are off to a great start this fall.                                                                                                               Most people, when they hear the word “volleyball”, think of beach, sand,
With a current record of 7-0, the unde-                                                                                                            and a colorful blown up beach ball. However, more schools are bringing it in as
feated girls’ team, led by head coach Sue                                                                                                          a sport during the academic year.
Whitney and assistant coach Eileen                                                                                                                      This year, sophomore Georgia Scott proposed the possibility of having a
Cunningham, has a very good shot at                                                                                                                volleyball team for the fall season. When asked why she wanted to start a team,
claiming the section title this year. This                                                                                                         Georgia said, “I played volleyball at my old school, and there wasn’t a team here,
is especially due to their incredible key                                                                                                          so I thought I’d give it a try.”
victory at Greensburg Central Catholic,                                                                                                                 Unfortunately, the plans did not work out, and it had to be cancelled. Is it
where a 6th place tiebreaker won the meet                                                                                                          because volleyball is a fun summer sport that people are not willing to join during
after the score was tied at 28-28. De-                                                                                                             the intense fall term?
spite the loss of some key senior run-                                                                                                                  So, let’s get to know volleyball a bit better. The purpose, which most people
ners, the team is very optimistic.                                                                                                                 know from elementary gym classes, is to hit the ball over the net and have it hit
    Coach Whitney says, “This year’s                                                                                                               the ground on the opposing team’s side. However, a team has three hits to return
team has a solid core of returning runners                                                                                                         it to the other side. On each team there are six players on the court. So with only
in Jennifer Nguyen, Christina Policastro,                                                                                                          six players and a simple goal, what went wrong for volleyball at Shady Side?
and Emily Lamm as captains, and re-                                                                                                                     Like all sports, someone wanted to have a go at it, but for some reason
turning runners Elizabeth Roll, Shamika                                                                   Photo courtesy of junior Shamika Dighe

Dighe, Kristen Olander, Christiana Jueng     Go, girls. The Girls’ Cross Country Team poses for a picture.                                         volleyball didn’t work out. Georgia says, “I don’t know...We were close to
                                                                                                                                                   having enough girls. We had seven and we needed twelve.”
and Sara Policastro. What makes this         ing runners.                                      new to all current runners, this course,                 Volleyball was going to be worth PE, rather than team sport, credit. Choosing
year so interesting is that more than half       Top returning runners include senior          which has a modified start from the                 volleyball would make it difficult for underclassmen to fulfill all of their sports
of the team has never participated in        Christian Harchelroad, juniors Jack               previous course, was actually the home              requirements. But volleyball is not the only sport that has had a difficult time
cross country before — a testament to        Bagamery, Adi Krupski, David                      course between 2002 and 2005.                       building a team. When the girls’ cross country team first started, it only had
the hard work the returning runners did      Lembursky, and sophomore Max Young.                   This September, junior Jack                     three girls on the team. Luckily, the next year a larger number of girls joined, which
encouraging their friends from other         Adding to these returners, freshman               Bagamery set the boys’ school and                   saved the team.
sports to participate!”                      Adam D’Angelo has been a valuable                 course record with a time of 18:15. The                  Next year, Georgia hopes that volleyball will pull a cross-country move and
    Senior captain Jenn Nguyen is also       contributor. The strength of this year’s          girls’ course and school record, which              come through. So, for anyone who was interested this fall, next year can be your
very positive and agrees that, “This year    team is depth, as there is a strong pack          was set in 2002, is currently held by               time to shine on the courts.
we surpassed all expectations for the        of runners competing for the final two            alumna Katie Roll, with a time of 21:26.

                                                                                                                                                   Tennis’ road to States
team and we’re looking forward to the        varsity spots. This depth has allowed                 Whether forced to climb mountain-
end of the season and to continue our        the boys to be very competitive in the            like hills, navigate treacherous terrain, or
success in WPIALs.”                          section.                                          run across seemingly never-ending fields
    The boys’ team is also off to an             With substantial drops in time as the         in the middle of nowhere in a little more           By Kelly Marous                                Haley are very solid, as well.”
impressive start this season, with a         season continues, the boys’ team is on            than underwear, both boys’ and girls’                   After facing a devastating loss in             Another key aspect to this year’s
record of 6-1, losing only to                the up and up.                                    teams have put forth tremendous effort              WPIAL semifinals last season, the Girls’       success is the team’s overall close rela-
Southmoreland. After the loss of three           As senior captain Christian                   throughout this season.                             Varsity tennis team has been working           tionship.
top seniors from the varsity squad last      Harchelroad puts it, “SSA Boys’ Cross                 In a few weeks the hard work of all             really hard attempting to capture the              Coach Jeff Miller says, “Once we
year, the boys’ team, led by head coach      Country is being relentless this year.”           these runners will be put to the test at the        state title once again.                        start competing together and not against
Paul Ejzak and assistant coach Tom               Several things this year are different        WPIAL meet, annually held at Coopers                    This year’s singles lineup includes        each other, then I believe that we will be
Colt, is definitely rebuilding this year     for both teams. Along with losing many            Lake. Both teams will run against other             Sara Perelman at #1, followed by Kelly         one of the best teams in the state.”
due to the contribution of incoming          valuable runners, both teams are also             AA teams in the WPIAL and fight to                  Mengel and Alexa Miller at #2 and #3.              Not only has the lineup changed, but
freshmen and the progression of return-      running a new home course. Although               place in the top four to make it to states.         The #1 doubles team consists of Lisha          the coaching staff has slightly shifted, as
                                                                                                                                                   Gu and Rachel Diehl, while Lindsay             well. In addition to Mr. Miller, Tom
Boys’ Golf                                   Girls’ Golf hits it off                                                                               Cozen and Haley Mears make up the #2
                                                                                                                                                   doubles team.
                                                                                                                                                                                                  Mercer, an experienced tennis player,
                                                                                                                                                                                                  having experiene in ten grand slams, is

swings away
                                                                                                                                                       The other varsity members include          the new co-head coach.
                                             By Michelle Bucklew                               Callihan, competed at Murrysville Golf              Kelly Marous, Anita Jain, Liza                     Tom says, “The team is optimistic
                                                 The two time state-champion                   Course to each advance from Sectional               Plakseychuck, Ashley Ferree, and Rachel        about going to states and they have a
By Rob Belles                                Girls’Golf team is off to a great start           Individuals to WPIAL Individuals.                   Kann.                                          chance to win. I have confidence in this
    A long-standing tradition at Shady       this year under the leadership of its two             Out of the five, Kendall, Michelle,                 Co-captain Sara Perelman says, “The        team that they will play under pressure
Side Academy, the Boys’ Golf team has        junior captains, Kendall Allen and                and Shannon moved on to the next                    singles players are very strong with           to the best of their ability.”
gotten off to a good start this season.      Michelle Bucklew.                                 round that took place Tuesday, Octo-                three top ranked USTA middle states                The entire team is excited about the
    Junior Ryan Mengel said that the             Although they lost a few extremely            ber 5.                                              players. With Kelly and Alexa playing          fast approaching playoffs.
team is “doing well, [having] suffered       valuable seniors, including last season’s             Coach Helene Gosse says, “All five              #2 and #3, our singles lineup is stacked           As Sara puts it, “We work hard and
two tough losses but we are working          captains, Elizabeth Diggs and Lauren              of the girls played their game, and I am            and no other team goes that deep.              we know that no match will be easy
hard to get to the postseason. Troy          Laufe, the team still looks promising,            very proud of all of them.”                             Lisha has been playing #1 doubles          coming down the road. We take one
Berglund and Brendan Gramley remain          young, and encouraged.                                The closest match of the season thus            since she came to Shady Side her sopho-        match at a time. I feel as though there will
in individuals and are heading to WPIAL.         Kendall Allen comments, “We have              far has been the team’s match against its           more year and is very experienced. Both        be very good things to come, which
finals. We have team WPIALs in two           some new girls on the team, including             fiercest competition, Fox Chapel High               Rachel and Lisha are very aggressive and       hopefully includes a state champion-
weeks and, hopefully, we put together        Molly Lowery and Sam Goodman, who                 School.                                             they make a great team. Lindsay and            ship.”
a good round.”                               are making tremendous progress and                    As junior Molly Lowery lined up
    Even though the team has suffered        have great potential. They are great              her putt on the ninth green, the rest of
two losses so far, junior Brendan            additions to the team!”                           the team sat in suspense, knowing
Gramley said, “We did beat our rival,            The team has moved into a new                 that if the putt were made, the team
Mars, both times that we played them.”       section and has continued its success,            would pull out a victory by a mere
    Gramley, who is also the team’s          achieving a record of 10-0 with only              two strokes.
captain, continued by saying, “We have       two regular matches left in the season.               Coming through for the team, Molly
had an up and down year. We are just             Sophomore Shannon Gramley adds,               finished her round with a bang, sinking
inconsistent. Which is not in any way        “I love everything about golf season:             the putt and helping the team sustain its
to say that the team has not won some        the competition, the game, making                 undefeated record.
rounds; we certainly have.”                  friends with the girls in our section, and            The team will soon play in WPIAL
    Both head varsity coach Brett            of course, I love our team!”                      semi-finals taking place at Ritzwood
Bergman and JV coaches Dan Kriebel               Recently, five of the players, Kendall        Golf Course and hopes to secure a spot
and John Uriah were unavailable for          Allen, Michelle Bucklew, Shannon                  in WPIAL finals, giving the team an-
comments at this time.                       Gramley, Molly Lowery, and Maclean                other chance at the state title.


‘Tis the season for Badminton
By Ayesha Shah
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Photo by Kimberly Flit
                                                                                               It’s hard work. I’m going to be in the              Pull! Teachers and students use all their strength to reign supreme.
    Badminton is off to an amazing be-                                                         badminton Olympics!” senior Kimberly

                                                                                                                                                   SSA kicks off CUP!
ginning this year, with plenty of                                                              Flit says.
newfaces, but some old faces as well.                                                              Dr. Ashworth smiles and says, “The
    It takes place in Curry Gym every                                                          shuttle travels over 200 miles per hour
day starting at 4:00 P.M. Full participa-                                                      in international competition. We’re                 By Tierney Weitz                                   Senior Philip Elias said, “As co-
tion requires intense playing, laughter,                                                       barely doing 20 mph.”                                   Although the rain threatened to            captain of Bayard with Hillary, we have
and a good time. According to Coach                                                                Sophomore Dani Plung says, “It’s a              dampen this year’s Cup Day Kick Off            created a rigorous workout program for
Graham Ashworth, “All those silly little                                                       very dangerous contact sport.” “When                festivities, the whole school still came       our team members. Part of my duty as
varsity sports pale in comparison to the                                                       not played properly,” adds Dr.                      out to participate in the activities planned   captain was to cross dress for the dance
great courage and athleticism displayed                                                        Ashworth.                                           by Student Council.                            competition and dance to ‘Milkshake.’
in badminton, and everyone who is not                                                              The entire team has spirit. More                    The four teams, creating a sea of               “I took hours of intense lessons to
in this fine sport is missing out on the                                                       than just playing the sport, they can sing          intense colors in the gym, battled through     perfect my booty shake. It was a nec-
best time of the day.” He says this with                                                       and dance. They compete among one                   intense tug-of-war, cheer-offs, and            essary risk to really wow the judges. But
a smile and the entire team laughing.                                                          another, and the sport does get a little            dance-offs.                                    our team as a whole works really well
    Dr. Ashworth is a brilliant coach,                                                         rough at times. So, occasionally, the                   Senior Ally Ross remarked on the           together to create a strong family unit
who loves giving pointers to his stu-                             Photo by junior Kelly Remo   team takes a break and talks music from             original values that CUP represents say-       that will work together to beat
dents. Anyone can play a game against        Sophomores strike intense poses.                  the sixties (with Dr. Ashworth) to Lady             ing, “despite the rain, the academy still      Morewood.”
him, but one has to be daring enough to                                                        Gaga (with everyone else). Witty com-               found a way to create community, unity,            No matter what strategies each team
do it. Both teachers and students have       ness!” cheers junior Amy Zhang, and               ments make for great discussion, and the            and pride in the gym.”                         utilized, as one of the biggest CUP
played against him, and it is pretty much    everyone chimes in. “It may not seem              laughter rings throughout the building.                 People from all four grades worked         events of the year, the kick off definitely
guaranteed that he will win every time.      competitive, but it really is. That shuttle-          Visitors frequently stop by the bad-            together to help their team dance their        brought out the competitive sides of
    “Badminton is awesome! No, it’s          cock just flies right by like Swoosh! We          minton courts, and everyone is wel-                 way to the top, making any necessary           Shady Side’s students, all fighting for
beyond the description of awesome-           train for the badminton Olympics here.            come. Just be ready to have fun!                    sacrifices along the way.                      one common goal: the coveted CUP.
                                                                                                                                               Shady Side News
                                                                                                                                     Wednesday, October 20, 2010             Sports 7
Girls’ Soccer is gellin’
By Katie Prochownik                           challenging schedule. It is very impor-
    As the Springdale game ended, the         tant for the team as a whole to always
Shady Side Girls’ Soccer team walked          put their best foot forward, play with
quietly off of Springdale’s brightly lit      energy, and communicate.”
soccer field. There was nothing else to           So far, the team has responded well
be done than reflect on the hard fought       to its new players. When asked about
game that ended just moments ago, with        initially joining the team, freshman Zoe
Springdale scoring the winning goal in        Schoen said, “We motivate each other in
the last 30 seconds of the first section      different ways on the soccer field, and I
game of the season. As the girls hung         think our drive to succeed is something
their heads in despair, Coach Caswell         that will take the team far this year. So
Nilsen’s voice sounded softly over the        far, it has been AMAZING.” Rebecca
cool night: “Heads up, Shady Side.”           Donahue, a freshman goalie, concurs
    Although the 2-1 loss against             that the season so far has been produc-
Springdale still hangs in the back of the     tive, despite its challenges. “As a goalie
girls’ heads, there is no question that the   it’s hard to have composure and con-
team has made significant improvement         tinue to focus on the game that’s still
from losing 10-0 to Springdale three          going on, even after being scored on.”
years ago.                                        With playoffs in the distance, the
    According to senior Makenna Krebs,        girls hope to once again make a run for it.
the team has made substantial improve-        Returning coaches Caswell Nilsen,
ment over the past several years. “In the     Marney Egan, and Gerald Hare have
past we’ve had trouble connecting on          already experienced a playoff season
the field but this season it feels like       last year.
we’ve bonded more on and off the field,           Coach Nilsen reflects on the im-
which makes it easier for us to stay          provements from last season. “I’m                                                                                                                                Photo by senior Nick Gasbarro
focused during stressful games.”              excited by the level of talent and exper-     In the action: Senior football captain Nick Loyacona protects the ball from the opposition.
    Junior Annie Pooley also believes         tise we have to draw on. The addition of


                                                                                            The Young and the Relentless
that working together is essential to         the two new coaches this year has al-
succeed this season and into the next. “I     lowed us to focus more on the funda-
think we have a great group of girls with     mentals in both teams.” The girls are
a ton of potential that could not only        excited to welcome two new coaches to         By Nick Loyacona                                coming out party as the SSA newcomer            team would lead a naive person to believe
make this season great, but also carry        the team this year, Mary Bushnell and             The identity of the 2010 Shady Side         scored twice on runs of 4 yards and 24          that youth and inexperience are the rea-
over to next year.”                           Leah Powers.                                  Academy Football team can be portrayed          yards.                                          sons for the losses, with only five seniors
    Others also agree that the team has           As senior captain Katie Prochownik        by one simple digit, five. Not five as in the       Szlachetka’s Squadron picked up right       and a very large sophomore class.
worked better as a unit than in previous      said, “I think the team has finally found     number of playoff berths by SSA in the          where they left off last year by recording           But senior captain Harrison Hirsh has
years.                                        its niche. We are right where we should       last 10 seasons. Not five as in the number      a shutout victory for the fifth time in their   full faith in his younger peers, “Yea, we
    Sophomore Felicia Tissenbaum com-         be with coaching and working together         of shutouts credited to the SSA defense         last fourteen games played.                     are young but we are also hard working.
ments, “From last year to this year, the      on and off the field. It’s taken some time,   over the last 14 games. But five as in the          The Shady Side defense not only             We haven’t peaked yet and the under-
whole attitude of the team is much more       but I think this is definitely the year       number of seniors on this year’s team,          denied all of Oliver’s scoring chances but      classmen are going to get even better with
positive and I think our relationship as      where we can make it happen.”                 which is only one third of the previous 15      also manufactured some of their own             time. Take Joe Bray [sophomore starting
a team is also reflected upon that.”              As the girls regain their composure       seniors on last year’s squad.                   scoring opportunities. Senior strong safety     lineman] for example. Joe will turn out to
    Even with this newfound cohesive-         from the Springdale loss, they look to            Head Coach Dave Havern knows it’s           Anthony Loyacona returned an intercep-          be an all conference selection some point
ness, the girls must be conscious not to      their five victories so far this season as    not the quantity but the quality that           tion 31 yards for six while freshman nose       in his career, no doubt about it.”
lose sight of their ultimate goal, making     encouragement and motivation. Per-            matters. “We only have five [seniors], but      guard Pete McDonagh added his contri-                In addition to Joe, the contributing
playoffs by maintaining a positive atti-      haps they could not hold onto that one        they’re five great ones. These seniors          bution by sacking the opposing quarter-         underclassmen for Shady Side are Jarred
tude.                                         victory against last year’s PIAA win-         have great leadership and good character;       back for a safety.                              Brevard, Dennis Briggs, Pete McDonagh,
    Senior captain Aubrey Jaicks agrees       ner. But there is no question: the girls      they have a sense of ownership of this              However, the celebration proved to be       Chuck Calabrese, Josh Loper, Matt
with this concept. “We have a lot of          will face Springdale for a final match in     team. Though I would love to have more          ephemeral for the team as their next three      Granato, Jake Farrell, and Mike Pohl.
talent this year, but we also have a          the playoffs.                                 [seniors], these were the cards we were         games were against squads ranked in the              Probably the most mentioned author-


Boys’ Soccer on its way
                                                                                            dealt and you know what, it’s still going       WPIAL top ten. SSA lost 49-12 to a              ity on “growing pains” as a football player
                                                                                            to be a winning hand.”                          highly talented Seton-LaSalle team on           is junior and starting center and defensive
                                                                                                Grant Foley, Frank Rocks, Harrison          September 10.                                   tackle Andy Geisler, who has started for
                                                                                            Hirsh (captain), Anthony Loyacona (cap-             The following week the blue and gold        Shady Side since he was a third former.
By Christopher Miller                         Kittanning. It was a historic game. The       tain), and Nick Loyacona (captain) pro-         lost a heartbreaker 13-10 to heated rival       “With experience the games get slower,
    The 2009-2010 Shady Side Acad-            team went out and delivered a solid           vide the much-needed leadership and ex-         Freeport. And most recently the team            the technique gets better, and your deci-
emy Boys’ Varsity team had a good year        performance beating their opponent 9-         perience essential for making an under-         was defeated in a hard fought battle by         sion making improves,” says Andy.
making it to the playoffs and dominating      1, and earning Head Coach Harry               classmen-dominated team excel in the            Ford City 26-3.                                      Andy is a crucial part of the team and
all that they faced. Sadly, they lost a       Fleishman his 400th career win.               cutthroat world of WPIAL football.                  Though all three games weren’t ex-          a member of a scintillating junior class that
close one to Seton LaSalle, ending their           From here, the team traveled to face         SSA was able to throttle the Oliver         actly the outcomes the team had hoped           is spearheaded by starting quarterback,
season.                                       a very tough Mars team. This game was         Brown Bears of the Pittsburgh city-league       for, one game in particular was a tough pill    starting cornerback, and captain Reggie
    The 2010-2011 team, which brought         definitely the best of the season so far.     35-0 in their opening contest.                  to swallow: the Saturday night show-            Mitchell. Other vital juniors include
back most of their starters from last         Mars scored early in the first half, and          The offensive scoring was spread            down with Freeport. “We didn’t play             Ryan Reynolds, Jake Ellis, Will Supowitz,
year, has a chance to do as well if not       they took that lead into halftime. The        throughout the team as three different          real well and still had a shot for the win.     Tyler Petrucelli, Ricky Villani, Will
better than the team of last year, despite    second half proved to be very defensive.      players reached pay dirt for the blue and       The younger guys have to realize one play       Ruppel, and Jon Laufe.
the fact that the team chose to play              With twenty-six seconds left, Shady       gold. Senior running back Anthony               can make a game,” says Coach Havern                  Though the number five may describe
against better competition this year,         Side was still down one and had a corner      Loyacona scored on a 21 yard run, senior        about the game.                                 the look of the 2010 SSA Football team, the
moving up from A to AA.                       kick. Once the play was set up, and the       wide receiver Nick Loyacona scored on a             Much has been made this year about          number one describes the soul. In order for
    The team started the regular season       ball was ready to be kicked, there were       41 yard scamper, and freshman Jarred            how young and inexperienced this year’s         the team to be successful they must be one
on September 5, 2010 with the annual          about fifteen seconds left. With eleven       Brevard invited the whole “Tribe” to his        squad really is. The demographics of the        unit with one heartbeat and goal.
Ambridge Tournament. This year, the           seconds left, Shady Side was able to use


                                                                                            Ultimate Frisbee: I’ve got it!
tournament consisted of West Allegh-          the corner kick to their advantage and
eny, Burrell, Ambridge, and Shady Side.       score the game-tying goal. The team
    The team started the pre-season in        carried that momentum into overtime
late August, putting together a record of     and scored the game winner with about         By Porter Ladley
1-0-1, beating North Hills and tying          seven minutes left. This 2-0 overtime             The Frisbee season has kicked off
Burrell 0-0.                                  win improved their record to 5-0.             again this year with around 50 people
    The team’s first game was a memo-             In the next game the Indians faced        participating in the sport. These Frisbee-
rable one against West Allegheny. They        their toughest opponent yet, a very           ers gather on the quad every day after
did not play their best in the first half,    talented Hampton team. The team               school except for Friday to toss the disc
and as a result they went into halftime       played well, but that just wasn’t good        around and play some Ultimate Frisbee.
trailing by a score of 1-0.                   enough.                                           This year, Ultimate Frisbee coach
    In the second half, however, the team         They lost a close one 2-0 to a section    Matt Weiss has implemented some
looked unstoppable. Within the first          opponent in Hampton, their only loss of       changes. Jennifer Kacin, the coach of the
eight minutes of the second half, the         the season so far, but the team hopes to      girls’ competitive spring Ultimate team,
team found the net four times, giving         get revenge when the two teams play           is now coming to fall practices to give the
them a commanding lead with just above        again later this season. The tough loss       players who are more serious about
thirty minutes left to play. They fin-        didn’t seem to faze the team. They            Frisbee a chance to play a more competi-
ished strong with a 5-2 victory, and a        bounced back quickly and made short           tive game on the lower fields.
spot in the finals against the winner of      work of Freeport, beating them 5-1.               Naveen Menon, a frequent player on
Burrell and Ambridge.                             After Freeport, they played a close       the more competitive team, said, “It’s
    Despite the fact that there was a tie     one against Knock. The team was able          nice to have the experience to play
between Burrell and Ambridge, Shady           to escape with a 1-0 win despite many         Frisbee with people that are more seri-
Side played Ambridge in the finals. Once      valiant efforts by Knock to tie it up late    ous and more advanced rather than play-
                                                                                                                                                                                                               Photo by senior Nick Gasbarro
here, the team did not disappoint, shut-      in the game. Then, they went on to beat       ing with people that are new to the sport
ting out the host team Ambridge by a          Deer Lakes at home by a wide margin of        or just starting to learn how to play.”         I’ve Got It! Rashaad Phillips blocks Sarthak Dighe’s pass.
score of 4-0, thus defending their title      4-0.                                              While the more advanced players go          enced at Frisbee to play it.”                       The fall Ultimate Frisbee season
and winning the tournament for the                At this point, the season is half over    down to the lower fields, Mr. Weiss                 Ultimate is a very simple game to           lasts into mid-October, giving its play-
second year in a row.                         and Shady Side has an overall record of       stays up top with the new players to            learn. The objective is to score a touch-       ers a chance to get a strong hold on the
    From there, it was off to Highlands,      8-1. They are currently in second place       help with their throwing and catching.          down by completing a pass into the end          game and decide if they want to play
where the team played their most physi-       in the section, and ranked fifth in AA.       He offers Frisbee playing tips in a more        zone. This can be done by either a              more competitively in the spring. So if
cal game to date. The team escaped            The team has truly dominated through          relaxed environment, which is appreci-          working of passes down the field, or a          you have the time, come and check out
unscathed and picked up a 4-0 win.            the first half of the season. Now, all that   ated by many of the players.                    hail mary throw to the end zone. This           the Frisbee squad. They will be on the
    After that, the team played their first   is left to do is wait and see how the rest        Player Sam Campanella says, “You            offers some healthy competition but in          quad Monday through Thursday,
home game against section opponent            of the season unfolds.                        don’t have to be competitive or experi-         a laid-back way.                                weather permitting of course.
8 Odds & Ends                                                                                             Shady Side News
                                                                                                          Wednesday, October 20, 2010




                                                                                                                                                               Photos by Ally Bernstein,
                                                                                                                                                             Frank Crisanti, Kimberly Flit,
                                                                                                                                                              Allie Hull, Lindsay Kovach,
                                                                                                                                                                 and Anita Schuchardt




Who are the Community Builders? Homecoming spirit
By Jenna Hebert                                 leaders and clubs, work one on one with        to about problems they might face as they        (Continued from Page 1)                  Senior Jatara McGee agrees that
     It’s easy to get overwhelmed at a          Form III advisee groups, lead activities       make the transition into high school.             It is true that Shady Side has      spirit is the driving force during
school where everyone excels at athletics,      with the freshman class, facilitate discus-        Finally, the Community Builders will      always maintained strong bonds          Homecoming week.
academics, music, the arts, et cetera. It can   sions dealing with issues within the com-      always be available as liaisons for the       with its alumni, with Homecoming            Jatara says, “School spirit plays
sometimes seem like everyone has every-         munity through various means, and also         student body, working to actively solve       being a large factor in keeping that    a HUGE role in Homecoming week.
thing under control, and it’s hard to watch     avail themselves to students in all three      problems within the community.                close relationship.                     The feeling on campus is happier,
peers seamlessly juggle their personal and      forms by being Peer Listeners.”                    Also, with the Peer Listeners pro-            English       teacher     Buddy     more energetic, and simply better.
academic lives while you are struggling to          These student leaders want to empha-       gram, students in any form will be able to    Hendershot says, “I will be talking     The vast majority of students are
keep up. It can be even harder when it feels    size the positive things the students in the   talk to a Community Builder about any         to some alumni for the first time       captivated in school spirit and pride,
like you have no one to talk to.                community have done. By seeing their           daily issues they are having or problems      since they graduated, and these         and that atmosphere makes you
     On Monday, September 27, seniors           accomplishments celebrated and praised,        they feel are affecting the Shady Side        alumni bring back wonderful memo-       truly love and appreciate Shady Side
Katie Prochownik and Alex Koi gave a            hard-working students will feel like they      community. Similar to the Scribe Office,      ries, as well as taking me back to my   at its best!”
presentation at assembly introducing the        are really contributing to the Shady Side      these Peer Listeners have completed a         first years of teaching. I actually         Shady Side’s spirit during Home-
“Community Builders” of Shady Side              community, allowing the student body as        leadership workshop and peer listener         taught Scott Aiken. Coming to-          coming presents itself in numerous
Academy. They explained how these               a whole to grow stronger.                      training. They will be available through-     gether at these parties keeps alive     forms, from spirit week, to the ath-
students were selected through an appli-            The Community Builders also want           out the day to all students and at            the great moments of the past.”         letic competitions, to, yes… the
cation process and that their primary goal      to work with the freshmen. Coming into         peerlistensenior@gmail.com.                       Amidst the reunions, galas, and     Homecoming Dance. It is a time
is to see students value each other’s indi-     a brand new setting can be overwhelming.           If you feel there is a problem nega-      parties, current students, alumni,      when students, alumni, and faculty
viduality while at the same time helping        Even a student coming from the Middle          tively affecting the Shady Side commu-        and faculty enjoy coming together       can once again come together to
each other feel integrated and included,        School has to adjust to new teachers,          nity, know of a fellow student who should     to cheer on the numerous athletic       celebrate Shady Side’s legacy and
creating a diverse but cohesive commu-          rigorous academics, new peers, and an          be recognized for an accomplishment, or       teams for their annual Homecoming       accomplished history.
nity. “These student leaders are commit-        intense schedule. This student group           are just having a bad day and need some-      Week games.                                 As Senior School Head Jeremy
ted to being trustworthy, compassionate,        wants to give the freshmen an opportu-         one to talk to, contact a Community               Senior Peter Scott observes,        LaCasse puts it, “Folks have an
creative, and innovative,” says Michele         nity to connect with upperclassmen.            Builder who will be available to help.        “There are always epic sports           opportunity to connect with one
Greene, the founder of the student group.           This year, two older students will be          Making sure that everyone feels like      events that are so much fun to          another, friends, and former teach-
     According to Ms. Greene, the Com-          assigned to each Form III advisee group –      they are part of the community is crucial     watch.”                                 ers, to hear about what is happening
munity Builders have several specific           similar to a Big Brother/Big Sister pro-       to building a strong, cohesive student            Teams continue to carry out         at school and to see what might be
goals this year: “To highlight and cel-         gram. These upperclassmen will act as          body. The Community Builders are work-        school pride, drawing in fans to        new. They get to have some fun and
ebrate accomplishments of members of            confidants for freshmen, giving them           ing hard to make the Shady Side commu-        come together and enjoy Shady Side      to share their life for a little bit.”
the community, support other student            wiser, more experienced students to talk       nity the best it can be.                      spirit at its best.                         That’s really what it’s all about.




Max Langa Chottiner                             Luke Charles Cudney                            Lia Piper Fani
Born July 1                                     Born August 22                                 Born June 21 (a Solstice baby!)
8 lbs, 5 oz                                     7 lbs, 9 oz                                    8 lbs, 1 oz


Faculty baby boom: Class of 2028                                                                                                             Trevor Samuel Fularz
                                                                                                                                             Born September 21
                                                                                                                                                                                     Gaetano (Guy) Edward Zheng
                                                                                                                                                                                     Born September 25
By Yuvi Ben-David                               pregnant ladies and measure the circum-        the babies added 24.5 pounds to faculty       7 lbs, 8 oz                             8 lbs, 14 oz
    When “the late” Molly Wilson told           ference of their ever-widening bellies.        weight.
her World History I class that she had              Such jokes aside, let’s also disregard         So who are these little ’uns? The case                                                        Non Profit Org.
some good news for them, they reflex-           for the moment all those conspiracy theo-      of Max Chottiner proves that the apple         SHADY SIDE ACADEMY                                 Pittsburgh, PA
ively congratulated her on her pregnancy.       ries à la Synchronized Conception—and          doesn’t fall far from the tree: this little                                                         US Postage
Almost, but no—pregnant with joy, you           I’ve heard many, enough to convince me         liberal menace has, by Mr. Chottiner’s
                                                                                                                                              423 Fox Chapel Road
                                                                                                                                                                                                      PAID
could say, she announced that she had           that Shady Side students should take four      interpretation, already displayed a strong     Pittsburgh, PA 15238                               Permit No. 609
gotten into grad school. John Landreth,         years of Health—there’s something news-        distaste for the likes of Glenn Beck (as
now on sabatical, strode into chemistry         worthy (I hope!) about five almost simul-      well as fellow conservative figureheads,
class last year to announce that he, too,       taneous births amongst the faculty.            Napping and Hunger). I should commend
was “preggo.”                                       Two dads (David Chottiner and Chad         Max for his nonpartisan flatulence. Ru-
    At the time, the statement seemed less      Fularz) and three moms (Sarah Cudney,          mor has it that during his naming cer-
parody than policy: over the course of a        Heather Fani, and Elyse Zheng, who left        emony Max nearly asphyxiated his left-
few weeks three science teachers had            most recently and was, by one account,         wing rabbi. This being my own rabbi, I
individually publicized their pregnancies.      the “nicest pregnant lady ever”) are all       congratulate Max on a job well done.
Pregnancy, it seemed, was the next stage        parents for the future Shady Side class of         Says Mr. Chottiner of Max, “He al-
in the science department’s switch to the       2028. Their varying absences have left a       ready has his mother’s dashing good looks
“modeling method.” Instead of growing           palpable dent in the faculty—especially        and witty sense of humor, coupled with
plants, Biology students would care for         in faculty size, considering that altogether   his father’s hairline.”

				
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