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                                                         Form




Best Agent Business created this book, in less than a    Form

month, using our team of part-time virtual assistants.
Our goal was to help top agents share ideas on
working the 2008 real estate market and introduce our
services to more top agents. Perhaps we can help you
grow your business!

  Are you thinking of getting your first part-time
                    assistant?

   Do you need to replace a part-time or full-time
                    assistant?

 Are you running a top team and want to add new
               market segments?

Best Agent Business can help you grow your business      Form
and make more money. If you currently make over
$100,000 GCI per year, you should have an assistant.
We provide part-time assistant services for marketing,
listing and closing coordination services.

How many hours a week do you spend doing
$20/hour assistant-level tasks? If your time is worth
$50-100/hour, how much money are you losing every
week by doing $20/hour work instead of $50-
100/hour sales activities? We can help solve this
problem – fast.

We help you delegate and outsource so you can focus
                                                             Form




wish you had more time to sell and you wish you
could spend less time on non-sales activities, then
Best Agent Business can help.

Best Agent Business published Billion Dollar Agent –
Lessons Learned. Billion Dollar Agent – Lessons
Learned includes the success secrets of over 50 top
real estate agents who have or will sell over $1 billion
in real estate in their career, as well as interviews with
top national coaches/trainers.

Our unique business model takes the lessons learned
from Billion Dollar Agent and applies it to agents
who make from $100,000 to $1,000,000 GCI.

A regular client effort is about 10-15 hours per week
for about $995/month, which is about $20/hour.

Contact us today at www.bestagentbusiness.com, or
email sales@bestagentbusiness.com.

We always appreciate referrals. If you know an agent
who is looking for part-time assistance, please
connect us to them via sales@bestagentbusiness.com.
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Contents
SECTION TITLE ................................................................................. 1




SECTION TITLE ............................................................................. 249




SECTION TITLE ........................................................................... 2117
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SECTION TITLE ........................................................................... 2325




SECTION TITLE ........................................................................... 2333




RESOURCES ................................................................................. 4541




Title....................................................................................................... 1


Title....................................................................................................... 2




INTRODUCTION ............................................................................ 11

Section Title ....................................................................................... 15
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SECTION TITLE ................................................................................. 7




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SECTION TITLE ............................................................................... 31




Order Form ....................................................................................... 39
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RESOURCES
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             Your Time Is Now                  Form
                                               Italic
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“The minutes of your day compose the moments   Form
   of your life. What you choose to do with    Italic

     them determines your life’s meaning.”     Form
                                               Form
                                               Italic
                                               Form
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                   The Embrace                           Form
                                                         Italic
                                                         Form
   I arrived at the train station in Philadelphia both   Form
         excited and a little bit tired after two        Form
presentations for Land America, the title company.       Form
     I was headed to New York for the RISMedia           Italic

    conference. I had several pieces of luggage and
 required assistance onto the train from a porter. I
  sat on a nearby bench as I waited for his signal to
walk toward the train. I looked around and took a
     quick scan around the large hall. It was all but
 impossible not to notice a middle-aged couple not
       too far away engaged in a long, passionate
       embrace. They caught my eye and held my
   attention, a little bit longer than appropriate. To
 my embarrassment, the porter observed me fixed
   for so long on the scene and said “Stop looking,
    they should really just get a room.” But I could
    not stop looking. It was something about their
  embrace. It was something about their attire that
   made me imagine them as a couple from one of
those movies with Mickey Rooney made years ago
in black and white, like they were captured in time.
    Perhaps it was something about their age, their
   stance, and his disheveled hair. I was entranced.     Form



 The porter let me know that it was time to go.          Form
                                                         Italic
He took my luggage onto a cart and said, “Follow
  me”. I did. He proceeded to walk toward the
couple and made a stop to help the man. I noticed
                                                       Form


took the man’s hand and fixed it firmly to his arm
                leading the way.                       Form



    As we stepped into an elevator, the porter         Form
                                                       Italic
informed me that the man had just gotten engaged
 that day. The gentleman spoke up and said “That
    explains all the kissing.” I broke into a smile.   Form



 I said, “Congratulations! When’s the wedding?”        Form
                                                       Italic
                                                       Form
            “January 19th,” he replied.                Form
                                                       Italic

Calculating a quick 4 ½ month engagement period,       Form

      I said “Boy, you don’t waste any time.”          Form
                                                       Italic
                                                       Form
He said “Well, we’re both widows, we really don’t      Form
           have any reason to wait.”                   Italic
                                                       Form

And in that moment I realized that there is almost     Form
                                                       Italic
never a reason to wait. It’s just something that we
are used to doing. We are practiced at waiting for
 something to happen, for the time to be perfect,
or the tide to swing our way. We just sit and wait
 and keep living our lives the same way as always,     Form

  hoping that someday something wonderful will         Form
                                                       Italic
                      happen.                          Form
                                                       Form
                 Waiting. Waiting.                     Italic
                                                       Form
                                                       Form
 What a costly use of time. Are you still waiting?     Italic
                                                     Form



                Take Your Turn                       Form



          Do you ever take your turn?                Form
                                                     pt, N
                                                     Form
 I don’t mean “wait for your turn” or “have your     Form
  turn” or “stand in line for your turn…” I mean     pt, N

“Take your turn”. I am talking about grabbing the
  bull by the horns, even when no one is offering
   and no one is making space for you to do so.      Form



  Taking your turn is one of the most powerful       Form
                                                     pt, N
   practices in life. What it means is seeing an
opportunity and going for it, even when it may be
 uncomfortable, embarrassing, or lead to terrible
                       failure.                      Form



   A couple of weeks ago, I attended a book          Form
                                                     pt, N
 marketing conference and heard a story of just
             such an experience:                     Form



 The man’s name was Richard Paul Evans, and one      Form
                                                     pt, N
    day he decided to write a story for his two
  daughters – it was called “The Christmas Box”.
 His wife loved the story so much that he had 20
  copies printed to distribute to his brothers and
 sisters and other family members as gifts for the
   holiday season. A few weeks later, he started
  receiving phone calls from strangers telling him
how much the book had touched them. He began
to track how many people had read his original 20
                                                        Form


  counting. The feedback was so overwhelmingly
positive that he tried to get the book published –
  but no publisher was in the market for another
    Christmas book and they all passed on the
 opportunity. So he decided to publish the book
 himself. He loaded his station wagon with books
 and went across the country from bookstore to
   bookstore peddling his little five dollar book.
    Many times, he sat for hours at book signing
   events without even signing a single book. He
slept in his car day after day, just plugging away to
               sell a few more books.                   Form



     One day, he decided to take a leap and buy a       Form
                                                        pt, N
 booth at a tradeshow held by the American Book
    Sellers Association. The cost of the booth was
  $400 – he needed to sell 80 books just to break
  even. He was promised thousands of visitors, but
     he sat at his booth and nobody came – it was
     dead. His frustration mounted until finally he
      stood up and went to find out where all the
  people were hiding. Much to his disappointment,
  he discovered that they were all in the main hall,
   getting their books signed by “famous authors”.
  He was fuming. There he observed an enormous
 table with authors assembled side by side greeting
lines of hungry fans waiting for a signature on their
         book. He was a nobody and they were
    somebodies getting the recognition that he so
    much desired. And then he noticed something
                                                      Form



life… He noticed an empty seat at the table. And
   it was in that moment that Richard Paul Evans
                   took his turn.                     Form



He returned to his booth, grabbed several boxes       Form
                                                      pt, N
of his books, went back to the main hall and took
   the empty seat at the table. A security guard
 approached him. He looked up and said, “Sorry
 I’m late …” and she replied, “Would you like a
    glass of water?” That event changed his life
   forever – he is now a bestselling author with
more than 8 million books sold in both hard and
               soft copy worldwide.                   Form



Think about how many times you have shied away        Form
                                                      pt, N
   from taking your turn and ask yourself what
   you’ve gained as a result. I bet the answer is
  nothing. Taking your turn requires blind faith;
     entering into the unknown with nervous
 excitement and all that can come from a single
  decision, the decision of the right turn...taking
                     your turn.                       Form



Taking your turn means coming to the table with       Form
                                                      pt, N
chutzpah, gumption, an unwavering belief in your
 goals. If you are serious about getting to where
 you want to be – then never think twice about
 taking your turn. Just grab it and run – and for
       goodness sakes… Never look back!               Form
                                                      Form
                                                      Italic
                                                       Form


                   The Moment                          Form



Every once in a while, you connect with someone        Form
                                                       pt, N
 at a deeper level because you can relate to each
 other on a topic that is near and dear to both of
                    your hearts.                       Form



    With my friend Dan, our topic is parenting.        Form
                                                       pt, N
     Without fail, each time I talk to him, our
   conversation triggers thought, a topic for an
article, and often goose bumps in response to the
  emotion it elicits. Dan recently shared a story
 with me that gave me reason to pause and take
          stock of the moments in my life.             Form



  Dan’s father died a couple of weeks ago. While       Form
                                                       pt, N
attending his grandfather’s wake, Dan’s son stood
  up and left the hall. Dan took notice of the fact
 that his son had left the room and made nothing
   of it, but after five, ten, then fifteen minutes
    passed, wondering where he could be, Dan
         decided to go and look for his son.           Form



           He found him, alone, crying.                Form
                                                       pt, N
                                                       Form
 Dan searched in his Hallmark database for words       Form
   that would comfort his son but was unable to        pt, N

soothe his pain. After patiently probing his son for
  clues about how to assuage his distress his son
     finally said, “I’m sad because I didn’t have a
                                                       Form



– we were always surrounded by family and it was
                never just us.”                        Form



This really hit home for me as I have a son and an     Form
                                                       pt, N
    aging father, and I wondered if my son could
  capture a moment with my father that he could
  carry with him always. I wondered if I had given
   him enough opportunities to relate and spend
time with his grandparents and connect with them
     in a way that would store moments in his
 imagination. I wondered what my moment would
  be with my mother and my father. What is the
moment I can capture with my children, and what
            moment will they have of me?               Form

                                                       Form

 I have a snapshot, a moment that I can conjure        Form
                                                       Italic
        instantly for each of my children.
                                                       Form
                                                       Form
 My son, Louis, has a quick wit, an inner wisdom,      Form
  and can make me laugh like no one else can. He       Italic

 often has me doubled over laughing so hard that
   there is no sound coming out of my body. My
daughter, Ferne, inspires me daily with her passion
 for everything she does – from her school work
 to her soccer, to the surprises she leaves for the
 people in her life, and the way she embraces her
                         life.                         Form



 In fact, she was just honored with an award for       Form
                                                       Italic
 optimism in front of all the kids in grade three! I
                                                       Form


way we relate to one another, and the adventures
  we take. How do I want them to think of me? I
   want them to see me laughing with them; to
 capture the feeling of me smothering them with
kisses and warm, snugly hugs, feeling one-hundred
  percent loved. I want this image, this feeling, to
 replicate and celebrate every stage of their lives.   Form



  How would our lives be different if we were          Form
                                                       Italic
conscious of the moments of our lives, if we lived
 with intent and with the purpose of propagating
                    moments?                           Form



    I’m certainly not suggesting that we make          Form
                                                       Italic
everything we do into a moment. That would be
     exhausting and overly dramatic, but I am
 suggesting that we take the time to allow those
   moments to exist and invite them to play a
magical part of our lives and relationships. These
moments, as they live in our memory, are as vital
to our make up as the actions that we take each
day. These moments not only contribute to our
 character, but serve as a harbor for those who
 are distant or have passed to share in our lives.     Form



 Don’t wait until it is too late to have a moment.     Form
                                                       Italic
                                                       Form
                                                       Form
                                                       Italic
                                                       Form
                                                        Form



                     The Whiz                           Form

                                                        Form

   Some days as I search for life lessons, they are     Form
                                                        Italic
 hard to find. I know they are just at my fingertips,
 but today it seems too difficult to derive a broad
 generalization out of any one single event. There
  are many events that have taken place in my life
recently; a new relationship, his kids, my kids, our
kids acclimating to each other, the parental screen,
   and the work/book writing/family/one-on-one
  time scheduling, and just trying to find a way to
          squeeze in a few hours of sleep.              Form



  Perhaps it’s the frequency, or the intensity, or      Form
                                                        Italic
 maybe even the speed of events that is making it
 challenging to sift through and find just one life
                 lesson to focus on.                    Form



  I think that is the lesson. It’s called The Whiz.     Form
                                                        Italic
                                                        Form
  The Whiz of Life. Sometimes things happen so          Form
quickly that we barely even notice. We can’t keep       Italic

  up with all of the changes and events that are        Form

 “happening to us’. We watch them zoom by and           Form
                                                        Italic
   hardly even know what hit us. It’s like light.       Form


It travels fast and constantly; so much so that we      Form
                                                        Italic
 begin to stop noticing the magic of it. The pace
becomes a given, and rather than prioritize what’s
important to us and eliminate what’s not, we just
                                                         Form


 unable to keep up, and then significant priorities
begin to fall by the wayside. Things like exercising
 regularly, eating healthy foods, keeping in touch
  with dear friends, or taking time to just relax.       Form



Everything else comes first, everyone else is more       Form
                                                         Italic
 important, and life just whizzes by and suddenly
 you wonder where all the time went. There was
so much more you were supposed to do, see, try,
  accomplish, and you’ve spent so many of your
  moments focused on the minutiae that you’ve
              missed the life lessons.                   Form



 Do you ever stop and feel dizzy and wonder what         Form
                                                         Italic
 happened? Do you ever wish you could press the
rewind button? I have no regrets. I believe in living
   life to the fullest, dreaming big and living large,
 embracing all that life holds for me, and exploring
   all its nooks and crannies. BUT, I do live in fear
that it will all pass me by. Sometimes I just want it
  all to slow down just a bit. I remind myself that I
   am blessed; that the things that are whizzing by
   are all really good things, even those that don’t
initially feel so wonderful. There are times, though,
  that I do feel angst that I am missing the magic in
 some of the events, just by virtue of their speed. I
 am present, but perhaps not experiencing them in
                 the way I would like to.                Form


                                                         Form
 And this is where I need to stop, prioritize, and       Italic
                                                       Form



 relish in the experiences of my life. Life, as they
                 say, is a journey.                    Form



 There’s an image I remember seeing of a person        Form
                                                       Italic
 hanging on to the big hand of the clock trying to
slow it down, wondering where all the time went,
wondering how life passed them by. I do not want
  to be that person. I want to be the person who
   has lived each moment to the fullest, with no
           regrets and beautiful memories.             Form



  So here is a life lesson… While you are in the       Form
                                                       Italic
throes of your Whiz of Life, just stop for a minute
  and enjoy the breeze. Skip along with the tune,
 and take that brief pause to redirect your focus
       and enjoy just living in that moment.           Form

                                                       Form
                                                       Italic
                                                       Form
                                                       Form


                Computer Lessons                       Form

                                                       Form

  She called me on my cell phone and waited as I       Form
                                                       Italic
adjusted my ear piece. She needed help retrieving
 her word file. It was a letter to my sister and she
      used it as a template to practice “bold”,
 “underline”, and “italics”. I didn't even know she
  knew the word “italics”. She was born in Egypt,
and English was not her first language, or even her
  second for that matter. She talked to me about
 solitaire and her frustration with moving a set of
cards from one column to another when the drag
    and drop function was defective. It was like
 listening to a new born baby speaking with a full
   vocabulary. It was disorienting and delightfully
            entertaining at the same time.             Form

                                                       Form
                                                       Italic
She then decided that it was time to learn how to
   use a computer, and started taking computer
classes twice a week. She wanted to know what it
was that created such an addiction for her 18 year
   old granddaughter. She wanted to understand
what kept her up so late, and who was she talking
to anyways? It agitated her that even her youngest
  grandchildren who were 7 and 10 years of age
  knew how to use the computer and she didn't.
 She thought that if they could do it then so could
                        she.                           Form


                                                       Form
  She is in a class with 11 other people she calls     Italic
                                                       Form



homework - and remarkably she does it with rigor!
 She has an email address and has learned how to
 send and receive messages. Now she even sends
                  us her recipes!                      Form

                                                       Form
                                                       Italic
 My mother. Married to my dad for 54 years. The
  designated driver for all her friends, the master
 chef, the queen hostess, the power shopper, and
 the ultimate social activity coordinator. She takes
    care of the universe and expresses her love
through her food, and now through her computer
                         too!

 My mother. 74 years old. A prime example that
it's never too late to learn. Proof that action gets
     noticed. And evidence of the never ending
 inspiration that parents can deliver to their kids.
                  Way to go, Ma!                       Form

                                                       Form
                                                       Italic
                                                       Form
                                                          Form


                The Relief of Giving                      Form



 Okay, I'll admit it - I have 2 digital cameras but I     Form
                                                          Italic
still use my old fashioned, film-based camera. And
                                                          Form
   sometimes it takes me a while to get my film
   developed. The other day I had 3 rolls of film
  developed - one of them was a series of shots
taken in November, 2006 at a conference on the
  creation of wealth that I attended in Florida. It
  was at this conference I met this woman who
   completely changed my perspective on giving.           Form

                                                          Form
                                                          Italic
             This is what happened…
                                                          Form
                                                          Form
There were 1200 people at the conference. It was          Italic

 intense, tiring, exciting, and invigorating all at the
  same time. They asked us to share our deepest,
  darkest fears about money. They kept the room
   cool so that participants would stay alert. Every
  few hours they gave us a break to grab food and
    coffee. On one such break I walked past this
  woman named Chantaye and she stopped me in
  my tracks to compliment me on the jacket I was
 wearing. It was long, it was black and white, with
 zigzag designs, and had a funky look and feel to it.
It was one of my favorites and gave me a hip style.
 I received compliments every time I wore it - but
                this time was different.                  Form
                                                          Form
                                                          Italic
           "I love your jacket,” she said.                Form
                                                           Form



                                                           Form
                                                           Italic
               "Thank you," I replied.
                                                           Form
                                                           Form
  "You know, in the spirit of giving, it would be          Italic

 great if you gave me your jacket, that's a jacket I
                would love to have."                       Form



I think she meant it as a joke but without batting         Form
                                                           Italic
an eyelash, I began to take it off so that she could
  have it. As I did so, the cold breeze of the air
   conditioning hit me and I thought about how
  miserable I would feel without a jacket. Here's
                     what I said:                          Form

                                                           Form
                                                           Italic
 "I would love to give you my jacket and I will. But
it's a little bit cold in here with the air conditioning
  on. How about if I keep it on for the rest of the
  day and I bring it with me tomorrow for you to
                           have?"                          Form

                                                           Form
                                                           Italic
                                                           Form
                                                           Form
                                                           Italic
                                                        Form


At this point she thought that I was joking but that
  evening when I went back to my hotel room, I
promptly took the jacket off and put it in a bag so
that I would not forget to bring it to her the next
                       day.                             Form

                                                        Form
                                                        Italic
 I spent all of the following day carrying a plastic
 bag looking for this woman that I had only seen
  once before in my life. I looked everywhere. I
 walked up and down the aisles scanning all 1200
  faces. I went to the washrooms - all of them -
during the break - I couldn't find her. As the day
passed, I grew more and more anxious about not
 being able to find her. It was the last day of the
  conference and it would be my only chance to
 give it to her. The conference was scheduled to
  end at 5 p.m. and the time was quickly slipping
                         away.

At 4 p.m. I spotted her - I ran across the massive
hall to catch up to her. I said, "There you are, I've
been looking for you all day!" I was mistaken and
            embarrassed. It wasn't her.                 Form

                                                        Form
                                                        Italic
  Finally at around 4:30 p.m. she walked by. With
tremendous relief I caught up with her and handed
  her the bag. She was flabbergasted! She couldn't
  believe that I had brought it to her and kept my
 promise. For me, there was no question; I had to
  give it to her. I asked her to try it on and take a
                                                 Form



picture with me - so that I could remember the
            incident...and the jacket!           Form
                                              Form
                                              Form




            Do What You Love                  Form
                                              Italic
                                              Form
                                              Form
“When you make a commitment to doing what     Form
   you love, great results are inevitable.”   Italic
                                              Form
                                              Form
                                              pt, N
                   A Good Swing                           Form
                                                          Form

 I wonder if Tiger Woods has bad days. Do you             Form

 think he ever wanted to pack it in, not play golf        Form
                                                          Italic
 anymore, figured he was not good enough? Did
        he think about changing careers?                  Form



This amazing athlete was swinging a golf club in his      Form
                                                          Italic
   crib, and by age five he was featured in Golf
    Digest. Yes, he has a gift, but he practices.
Consistent practice allows him to continually fulfill
the potential of his gift. He makes it look effortless,
  but as we all know golf is not easy, and it is not
 easy to be good at it, unless you practice, all the
                          time.                           Form



   Practice is what differentiates a top performer        Form
                                                          Italic
   from all the others. What do top performers
  practice? In the case of golf, it’s their swing. But
  there is something else. Have you ever watched
      Tiger on television during one of the big
tournaments? Right before he swings, he closes his
  eyes for a brief moment in deep concentration;
 you can almost see him talking to himself before
 he takes his swing. Tiger’s mind is so in tune with
  what he’s doing that it allows him to accomplish
                      greatness.                          Form



  How do we as real estate agents and brokers             Form
                                                          Italic
achieve this mind set, the kind of “mental muscle”
     that allows us to be top performers, and
accomplish great things in our real estate careers?
   Practice. Practice what? Consistently practice
thinking in a way that helps us to achieve our goals.   Form



 Here are five steps to help you practice the kind      Form
                                                        Italic
    of thinking that it takes to become a top
      performer in your real estate career.             Form



       Daily Journaling. Write it down. You need        Form
                                                        Italic
    to define your goals and dreams and keep
                                                        Form
intensely focused on those aspirations. Write out       numb
 who you want to be in your ideal life, and what
          you want your life to look like.              Form

                                                        Form

       Create Lists. We love to make “to do” lists      Form
                                                        Italic
  and we get great pleasure checking off what we
                                                        Form
 have achieved. Good idea. Add a wish list of the       numb
  things you want to do, the kind of a person you
 want to be, what you would like to achieve, and
the experiences you would like to have in your life.
       Check off each wish as you achieve it.           Form

                                                        Form

         Gratitude. Live each day with gratitude.       Form
                                                        Italic
Think about what a difference it would make each
                                                        Form
morning if you began your day with thanks for all       numb
the wonderful and amazing things that are already
   in your life. Family, friends, your home, your
       health, and your spirit. Think of all the
 opportunities that also are available to you this
   day. What would change about your day if it
              began in gratitude?                      Form

                                                       Form

          Surround yourself with people who are        Form
                                                       Italic
 happy, who live with passion and have the desire
                                                       Form
  to succeed. There is energy about people who         numb
  have decided to succeed in their careers and in
 their lives. Misery does not really love company,
  but happiness is certainly to be celebrated and
                       shared.                         Form

                                                       Form

      Accountability. Ask yourself what is the one     Form
                                                       Italic
     thing that you can do to make your day
                                                       Form
              spectacular, and do it.                  numb
                                                       Form

  Tiger has a tremendous gift of ability; but we all   Form

  know people who are unbelievably gifted and do       Form
                                                       Italic
   nothing with it. Tiger puts power to his career
through his unrelenting commitment to excellence.
    Tiger Woods says, “Commit to every swing,
rehearse the shot with purpose, and then execute
 it.” Put power to your real estate career through
 the daily practice of your aspirations. Define your
  goals and proceed with purpose to achieve each
                    and every one.                     Form


                                                       Form
                                                       Form
                                                       Form
                                                       Italic
                                                       Form
               Three Strings Attached                      Form

                                                           Form

   Itzhak Perlman - an extraordinary violinist, an         Form
                                                           Italic
 amazing virtuoso. He walks with the aid of two
  crutches; both legs braced as a result of having
polio as a child, but with the touch of his bow on
a string, he ignites sheer brilliance at his fingertips.
      Here is a story I recently read about him.           Form



One night he was performing at Lincoln Center in           Form
                                                           Italic
   New York City. His audiences are used to his
slow and painful entrance on stage, waiting with an
 inspired silence for him to play. On this occasion,
  after a few pristine bars, the unmistakable sound
     of a string snapping brought a hush over the
   concert hall. The audience sat in silence. They
  anticipated the sure need for him to replace the
                         string.                           Form



 He took a moment. The audience waited, almost             Form
                                                           Italic
   holding their breath. Would he have to slowly
leave the stage, replace the string and then return?
  Instead, he closed his eyes, and then signaled for
  the orchestra. He picked up the piece where he
  had left off. It must have been remarkable, as he
    continued on three strings with such beauty,
 passion, and power that the last magnificent notes
     brought the audience to a silent reverence,
        followed by an explosion of applause.              Form
  When the audience quieted, he reflectively said,       Form
                                                         Italic
   “You know, sometimes it is the artist’s task to
 find out how much music you can still make with
    what you have left.” These are incredible and
   powerful words from a man, a legend who has
personally overcome significant hurdles in his life. I
    think the audience that night witnessed “the
   secret” in a very articulate way. Itzhak Perlman
 believed that when he needed it, his music would
   be there. He had complete trust in his gift, and
complete confidence in its loyalty. He has absolute
               trust in the silver lining.               Form



One might ask how you make music with a three-           Form
                                                         Italic
string violin. Perlman refused to acknowledge that
   discrepancy. If you look up biographies about
 Itzhak Perlman, it is interesting to see how little
                 space is given to his                   Form

                                                         Form
                                                         Italic
childhood illness and how much of it attests to his
joy of making music, his magnificent contributions,
  and his stellar achievements. What it does say
    about his physical condition is that he is an
        eloquent advocate for the disabled.           Form



How do we apply this to our real estate careers?      Form
                                                      Italic
          Is this a big leap of faith?
                                                      Form


No, because what we can learn from this amazing       Form
                                                      Italic
story is the strength of being able to bounce back,
the strength of recovery. That’s what he did. And
  that is what top performers do, over and over
                       again.                         Form



Something unexpected happened to Perlman that         Form
                                                      Italic
night. A broken string during a prestigious concert
   could have had many different outcomes. But
Perlman chose to continue with three strings. He
   knew deep inside of himself that he could still
                   create music.                      Form



Could you still create music in adverse conditions?   Form
                                                      Italic
 Where would you find the strength to conquer
   adversity, switch tracks, and continue with
                     brilliance?                      Form



   The ability to do this is what top performers      Form
                                                      Italic
  count on. They have developed, practiced, and
     tuned their skills to such a high level of
when they need it. This is called flexing the “mind
muscle”; the ability to react quickly and get back
    on top when things don’t go your way.             Form



  Your goal as a real estate professional is to be    Form
                                                      Italic
  able to still make music even when you lose a
string; to know with certainty that if you lose one
sale, another will be coming up quickly, and if the
market is poor, that you can still make music with
   what is available. Like Perlman, everyone has
 “crutches” that have the potential to slow them
down. And, like Perlman, everyone has the ability
 to realize greatness with what they have, to cast
   aside the crutches, and accomplish miracles.
     Imagine that moment, when you hear the
      resonating applause that celebrates your
                   achievements.                      Form

                                                      Form
                                                      Italic
                                                      Form
   Tall Caramel Macchiato, Light, No Whipped
                   Cream…                                  Form

                                                           Form

The story of Starbucks is a wonderful example of           Form
                                                           Italic
    reaching out and taking what you want, of
   perseverance, of holding that unquestionable
 desire close to your heart and never losing focus
of your desire. Howard Schulz created the culture
known as Starbucks and turned that into a billion-
dollar retail operation, making a four-dollar cup of
           coffee part of our way of life.                 Form



    Schulz began his career selling coffeemakers,          Form
                                                           Italic
   leading him to visit one of his best customers,
   Starbucks and Company in Seattle, which sold
 coffeemakers and beans, and took great pride in
     educating their customers on the virtues of
brewing. He fell in love with Seattle and the warm
and loving family business. He lobbied to work for
  them, urging, persuading, cajoling, and persisting
for one year until they finally hired him as director
   of marketing and operations in 1982. He says,
  “Life is a series of near misses. But a lot of what
 we ascribe to luck is not luck at all. It’s seizing the
  day and accepting responsibility for our future.”        Form



 He travelled to Italy, where he was swept away            Form
                                                           Italic
 with the romantic idea of sipping espressos and
 cappuccinos with biscotti and conversation. He
  was enamored with this way of life and had a             Form
   Starbucks resisted his plans to serve coffee in        Form
                                                          Italic
 their stores. But Schulz was passionate about his
vision. He left their company and opened his own
 coffee shop, creating the ambience he had felt in
Italy. He completely believed in his idea. He could
 see it, taste it, smell it, and feel it. He absolutely
  visualized his goals. He was so successful, that a
   year later he bought Starbucks for 3.8 million
     dollars and the rest, as they say, is history.       Form



But here is a very, very good example of having a         Form
                                                          Italic
 clear and focused vision, seeing where you want
   to be and taking the steps to make it happen.
Schulz says, “Pour your heart into your work and
     you can achieve dreams others may think
                    impossible.”                          Form

                                                          Form
                                                          Italic
 You have to visualize your goals before you can
achieve them. Write them down, shout them off
   rooftops and make your goals and dreams a
  priority in your life. Set out to achieve them.      Form



Even when we are surrounded by pessimism and           Form
                                                       Italic
 gloom in the economy, how can we create our
  vision and step forward to achieve our goals?
Here is our list of the top eight ways to visualize
             and achieve your goals:                   Form



              Ask yourself what you want.              Form
                                                       Italic
                                                       Form
        Imagine yourself doing exactly what you        numb
                want to be doing.                      Form
                                                       Form

      Write your goals down on a piece of paper        Form
                                                       Italic
and stick them where you can see them, write in        Form
color marker, laminate them, and above all read        numb

 them every single day. Know exactly what you          Form

  want to achieve. When you write down your            Form

goals they become “fixed” in your mind. People         Form
                                                       Italic
who write down their goals dramatically increase       Form
        their likelihood of achieving them.            numb
                                                       Form

         Write down all the wonderful and amazing      Form

things that reaching your goals will bring into your   Form
                                                       Italic
 life. We know that your goals are not just about      Form
     financial success, but really include all those   numb

tangible dreams like exotic beaches, luxurious cars,
   as well as dreams that are less tangible, like
 happiness, contentment, joy, and peace of mind.       Form

                                                       Form

         Talk about your goals, let people know        Form
                                                       Italic
what you’re doing, and share your excitement and
                                                       Form
  joy. Your enthusiasm will be contagious. The         numb
   more you put your aspirations out there, the
  more likely that you will begin to attract those
                                                       Form
 things into your life that will lead you to achieve
                                                       Form
      your goals. Happiness loves company.
                                                       Form
                                                       Italic
      Surround yourself with people who support        Form
                                                       numb
          your vision and your passion.
                                                       Form
                                                       Form
         Hire a coach or a mentor to help you          Form
 achieve all that you want to achieve for yourself     Italic

 and help to keep you focused and clearly on the       Form
                                                       numb
  track towards attaining all of the success you
                                                       Form
                      desire.                          Form
                                                       Form
           Dream big. Howard Schulz says, “I’d         Italic

    encourage everyone to dream big, lay your          Form
                                                       numb
foundations well, absorb information like a sponge,    Form
  and not be afraid to defy conventional wisdom.       Form
  Just because it hasn’t been done before doesn’t      Form
            mean you shouldn’t try it.”                Italic
                                                       Form

Dream big, live big and achieve all those goals that   Form
                                                       Italic
              are within your heart.                   Form
                                                       numb
          How to Turn Down a Billion Dollars           Form

                                                       Form

How do you turn down a billion dollars? How do         Form
                                                       Italic
   you refuse a billion dollar offer for a little
 company that you just started a few years ago?
          Some possible answers are:                   Form



  a) You are already a gazillionaire and another       Form
                                                       Italic
              billion means nothing.
                                                       Form


             b) You have sheer guts.                   Form
                                                       Italic
                                                       Form
    c) You suffered a temporary loss of sanity.        Form
                                                       Italic

d) You have powers that allow you to see into the      Form

                    future.                            Form
                                                       Italic
                                                       Form
   e) You are blessed with incredible foresight.       Form
                                                       Italic

Let’s talk about Mark Zuckerberg, the 23-year-old      Form

Facebook founder who dropped out of Harvard to         Form
                                                       Italic
 build a company. A 1.6 percent share of his little    Form
   company was just sold to Microsoft for $240         Form
million. Last year he could have sold his company      Italic

 to Yahoo for over a billion dollars, but he didn’t
want to. With the Microsoft deal, the company is
  now valued at about $15 billion, with his piece
alone at about $3 billion. In hindsight, this was an
 extremely savvy business maneuver, but really it
   was a decision that was made with incredible        Form
How do you turn down a billion dollars? You can          Form
                                                         Italic
only make that kind of decision and have the kind
of guts it takes to turn down that kind of money if
you believe with every fiber of your being in what
 you are doing. Zuckerman and his two partners,
his roommate at Harvard, Dustin Moskovitz, and
   his prep school buddy, Adam D’Angelo, have
 ultimate belief in their creation and in its off-the-
charts potential. They have complete faith in their
concept, so much so that they could turn down a
                    billion dollars.                     Form



   Facebook represents the new blueprint, the            Form
                                                         Italic
    innovative platform for interactive, social
  networking. It’s about vision. It was easy for
  Zuckerberg to turn down the original billion
because he wasn’t anywhere near to reaching his
    goals. For him, it wasn’t the right deal. He
     commented to Forbes Magazine that he                Form

                                                         Form
                                                         Italic
 didn’t care about being a CEO of a company; he
    “just wanted to build cool things.” And in
response to declining the billion last year, he said,
 “I’m here to build something for the long term.
          Anything else is a distraction.”              Form



      Wow. “Anything else is a distraction?”            Form
                                                        Italic
                                                        Form
Let’s apply this to our lives. There are some very      Form
 big talking points in this success story that might    Italic

    read: Here’s what happens when you have
  ultimate faith in what you do and the decisions
  you make, when you truly enjoy what you are
    doing and greet each day with pleasure and
passion, and when you stick to your plan, working
  on it every day without distraction. Ultimately,
 this brilliant multi-billion dollar deal underscores
   one indisputable fact. The young man behind
  Facebook made a decision to own his life. Have        Form

                           you?                         Form
                                                        Italic
                                                        Form
In our real estate careers we are asked to make         Form
buy/sell decisions all the time. It’s the foundation    Italic

of our business. Sometimes we have to have the
 guts to walk away from an offer because it just
  doesn’t meet the criteria, and sometimes our
“hole-in-one” deals fall through. If a multi-million
        dollar deal fell through, would you:            Form
                                                        Form
                                                        Italic
   a) Immediately head to the bar and ask the           Form
 b) Know that although this is disappointing news,     Form
                                                       Italic
 another deal, likely a better one, will come along
  soon, and you continue to move forward with
your other prospects? (Okay, you are allowed one
                drink on the house!)                   Form



 What do we have to do to empower ourselves            Form
                                                       Italic
 with the insatiable strength of mind that leads to
    ultimate success in our real estate careers?       Form



This is what you need to know if you are going to      Form
                                                       Italic
turn down a billion dollars and come out on top:
                                                       Form


  Own your life. When you live in alignment and        Form
                                                       Italic
   take responsibility for the choices you make,
   when you live each day with focus and make
choices that are aligned with your dreams, hopes,
    and visions, then you will own your life. For
Zuckerberg, it was about taking the right deal, and
 a billion dollars to sell his company outright just
  wasn’t what he was looking for. The right deal
allowed him to keep his company, allowed him to
  keep living his dream and continue to fulfill his
 passion with no distractions. He made a decision
that what he wanted to accomplish in his life was
 more important than a billion dollars. It’s easy to
 make decisions that serve you if you are aligned
with what you ultimately want to achieve and you
          don’t waiver from that platform.             Form
 What does your life have to do with the choices      Form
                                                      Italic
 that you make? This one is not a multiple choice
question. The answer is simply, everything. Own it.   Form

                                                      Form
                                                      Italic
                                                      Form
                                                      numb
         These are the Only Two Suckers I Can           Form
                                                        Italic
                      Trust
                                                        Form
                                                        Form
“This afternoon I am not going to have you up on        Form
  your feet bopping to the music. I am going to         pt, N

 make love to you. I am going to sing songs that
 you make babies with.” With that introduction,
             she kept her promise.                      Form

                                                        Form
                                                        Italic
        She was large, sexy and sultry. Without
   pinpointing her age, it appeared that she came
from a generation that still considers it impolite to
  ask a woman her age. Grey hair, black skin, full
     lips and a smile that stretched from here to
 eternity. Her name was Lois Smith – she was one
   of the highlighted singers at the Cape May Jazz
Festival. Her voice was like butter. It was powerful,
yet her execution appeared effortless, thoughtless.
 She reminded me of a child completely immersed
 in her pretend world without any regard to who
 might be watching or eavesdropping on her play.
  She captivated the audience with her sound and
 moved them with her presence. No matter what
   she may have experienced in her life that may
 have caused her pain, when she sang it was clear
   that she was in perfect alignment and she was
    living her passion. Everything was right in her
  world the moment she stepped onto the stage.
 Even when her song sheets fell from her hands in
 a mess on the floor, she was still in her element,
    leveraging the incident to connect with the
 audience and make them laugh. She was graceful
  and as I looked around I could see that she had
successfully lured in each and every person in the
room with her dulcet tones. She indulged us with
   her rendition of Somewhere Over the Rainbow,       Form

  Stormy Weather, and At Last, and many more. I       Form
                                                      Italic
   could hardly catch my breath from witnessing       Form
             such a magical performance.              Form
                                                      Italic

As she paused between songs, someone from the         Form

  audience approached her with an envelope. As        Form
                                                      Italic
she tucked it into the front of her blouse to store   Form
   it safely, she turned to the audience and said     Form
“These are the only two suckers I can trust.” She     Italic

        had the crowd roaring with laughter.          Form

                                                      Form
                                                      Italic
   Imagine playing your career with that much
 passion? Imagine stepping into it with that much
abandon and freedom? Imaging being so aligned in
your work that the whole world can see it? What
                  would it take?                      Form
                                                      Form
                                                      Form




                                                      Form



              Jacqui’s Frame of Mind                  Form
                                                      Italic
                                                      Form
   “Taking the time to put “me” back into the         Form
equation of my life is all about my frame of mind.”




                                                      Form
                                                      Form
Stepping Into My Shoes…The Gorgeous and Very             Form

                 Expensive Ones                          Form

               By Jacqui Markowitz                       Form
                                                         Italic
                                                         Form
 A pair of shoes or boots can simply change your         Form
   day. Really! Cinderella, in a charming deceit,        Italic

leaves a glass slipper behind, taking our prince on
a romping road trip around the countryside. The
 Wicked Witch of the East dies in a tragic house         Form
                                                         Italic
falling, which bequeaths the dazzling ruby slippers
 to Dorothy, sending her on an inspired journey
   down the yellow brick road. Shoes are deep.           Form



Shoes have a certain way about them; they are the        Form
                                                         Italic
  intrinsic pedestal, on which a woman is propped,
   the true tell-tale of our inspiration. That playful
little arch in the back from a pair of high heels, the
  strategic power of hose and pump, the rock star
   sensibility of great boots, kick butt and conquer
                        the world.                       Form



So, how do shoes and the philosophies of Frame           Form
                                                         Italic
of Mind connect? This is an easy one for a writer
who is a confessed shoe junkie – we need to step
 into our own shoes and walk the life we desire.         Form



   This idea was reinforced for me while walking         Form
                                                         Italic
 barefoot along the beach. As I navigated my path
along the sand, leaving my footprints to wash away
 with the tide, I thought about the path that I have     Form
 taken in my life this far. I measured the choices I
 made. I considered my success, and those things
  that stand out as my failures, deliberated upon
 what I should have done differently, why I made
 certain decisions, and what I want to achieve as I
step into this next stage of my life…And it hit me.      Form



  Every one of my choices, decisions and actions         Form
                                                         Italic
 have been directly influenced by me! My career
   changes, success’, failures, decisions didn’t just
    happen to me, and although I might not have          Form

understood it at the time, I created all those things.   Form
                                                         Italic
  This was a rather startling revelation to say the      Form
 least. We go around believing that we have little       Form
control of the things in our lives; that much of our     Italic

  circumstances are affected by forces other than
 ourselves, and then to realize that that is simply
          not the case is truly awesome.                 Form



 That day, I realized that it has always been in my      Form
                                                         Italic
power to steer the course of my own life, to step
   into the shoes of the person I want to be, or
 rather the person that I am now and evolving to
  be. Wow – I wish I had known this a long time
            ago! I’m just a late bloomer.                Form



 So often we are scared to follow the paths that         Form
                                                         Italic
    our hearts yearn. We are filled with pre-
determined conclusions, the need to confirm our
actions against others and we are consumed with          Form
 questions of self worth. I had a very significant
                                                       Form
conversation with myself on the beach and came
                                                       Form
home invigorated with the desire to step into my       Italic
own very chic, very beautiful and charming shoes.      Form
                                                       Form
                                                       Italic
  Any shoes that will grace my feet, hang off my
                                                       Form
fingertips as I walk the beach or wait by the edge     numb
of the sand for my return will have to some very       Form
           exclusive design components:                Form
                                                       Italic
                                                       Form
                   Be true to myself.
                                                       Form
                    Live with intent.                  Italic
              Always believe in my worth.              Form
             Trust my instincts, every time.           Form
                                                       Italic
                   Embrace the day.
                                                       Form
                                                       Form
    Stepping into my shoes feels comfortable,          Italic
luxurious and I walk with a long purposeful stride     Form

as my body falls into alignment – there is a certain   Form

  spring to my step – I am in step with myself….       Form
                                                       Italic
                                                       Form
                                                       Form
                                                       Italic
                                                       Form
                                                       numb
                                                       Form
                        Gratitude                        Form

                By Jacqui Markowitz                      Form
                                                         Italic
                                                         Form
  This morning I came into the office and Kim said,      Form
 “You haven’t been writing in your journal.” Guilty      Form
  as charged. Writing in a daily on line journal is an   pt, N

   integral component of all of our Frame of Mind
      coaching programs. It’s actually the “secret”
ingredient to the success of our students. As many
  of you know, Kim is big, big, big on the power of
       journaling, and honestly, it is absolutely my
    responsibility to myself and to the program to
 journal. Admittedly, I dropped the ball this week.
I can easily use the “overloaded and overwhelmed
with all aspects of my life” excuse, and as true as it
  is, it’s still no excuse. How often have I preached
     to our students that they must carve out the
   minutes to write in their journal, everyday, with
   no excuses? The truth is, I missed out, I lost the
                        opportunity.                     Form



I had been doing really well in the Frame of Mind        Form
                                                         pt, N
 for Body and Soul pilot coaching program. I was
beginning to shed my weight and feel better about
my body – I was charged, on track, and motivated.
   The daily writing was helping me keep to my
  mission and keep my intention focused. I was
                  getting results.                       Form


                                                         Form
Then came the week of writing about gratitude in         Form
                                                         pt, N
     our journals – this is the week where we are
     guided to write about the things that we are
 grateful for; the people, places, experiences, and
   parts of ourselves. Don’t get me wrong, it’s an
 amazing and insightful exercise. I honestly do feel
    incredibly grateful for all the pieces of my life,
     even the fact that I am busy beyond belief is
 accepted with the gratitude that I’m busy with all
  good things. I just don’t feel compelled to make
the effort to write in the midst of my “overloaded
and overwhelmed” life. The problem was, as I said
   to Kim, “What does gratitude have to do with
                     weight loss?”                       Form



She stopped in her tracks and said, “Everything.         Form
                                                         pt, N
Gratitude has everything to do with weight loss.”
                                                         Form


     Now, as the wiser, more centered and                Form
                                                         pt, N
     understanding Jacqui, let me provide an
explanation of the relationship between gratitude
                 and weight loss.                        Form



There is a huge, inseparable connection between          Form
                                                         pt, N
            gratitude and ourselves.
                                                         Form


   Gratitude inspires the way we think about             Form
                                                         pt, N
ourselves, the way we present ourselves, and the
way we navigate our way through the days of our
                                                         Form
                      lives.                             Form
 Gratitude reduces our resistance, allowing us to       Form
                                                        pt, N
         ignite our passions and dreams.
                                                        Form


  Weight loss is a reflection of resistance. When       Form
                                                        pt, N
 we are struggling with our weight, we are really
 resisting our well being. When we are in a state
  of gratitude we are inviting and welcoming our
             ideal physical self to shine.              Form



    I get it. It’s true. When Kim pointed out how       Form
                                                        pt, N
  living each day with gratitude echoes everything
   that we do, it was like striking a bull’s eye. The
archer released the arrow and it struck directly to
the center of its target. In this case the target was
    me, and the message went right to my heart.
When I think about all the things that I am grateful
   for in my life, I am immediately infused with an
inner peace, calmness, and sensation of well being.
  Guess what? This also translates into how I feel
about my body and the choices that I make, about
      my body, when I’m in a state of gratitude.        Form



 I came upon this quote by Melody Beattie which         Form
                                                        pt, N
               describes gratitude:
                                                        Form


 "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns      Form
                                                        pt, N
 what we have into enough, and more. It turns
denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion
to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house    Form
into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude
makes sense of our past, brings peace for today,
      and creates a vision for tomorrow."            Form



   With gratitude at the center of my day, I can     Form
                                                     pt, N
more easily follow the path that I have chosen. In
this case, when I experience my day from a place
  of gratitude, I am much more likely to take the
time to savor the flavors on my plate and nourish
        my body with movement and grace.             Form

                                                     Form




                                                     Form
       And…From the Top, Seven, Eight…
            By Jacqui Markowitz                            Form
                                                           Italic
                                                           Form
  Recently, I went to the Toronto Dance Theatre            Form
  to take a modern dance class, something I have           Form
   wanted to do for a very long time. Something            pt, N

 always stood in my way. It’s too far, and the time
   isn’t good. It’s been so long since I’ve danced.
(This is true.) I’m too fat. (This is also true.) I have
   a knee injury. (This too is true.) These are all
 very good and true excuses, but, enough already.          Form

After years and years of wanting to take the class,        Form
                                                           pt, N
  and talking about wanting to take the class, the
"somethings" hadn’t changed at all. (Sad, but true.)
  So I called, signed up, and paid, but not before
sharing my “it’s too far” and “bad knee” story (not
the fat part, still in denial) with the receptionist to
 negotiate my escape clause, (just in case the too
        fat and bad knee bits came into play).             Form



I walk into the very cool, earthy and “artsy” venue        Form
                                                           pt, N
 in the ever-so-trendy “Cabbagetown” area of the
  city. I inhale my youth as I enter the premises. I
  am immediately transformed from middle-aged,
 overweight Jacqui to my inner dancer. After all, I
    am wearing Uggs and have carefully tried to
 camouflage my body with layers of black. It was a
moment. Exhale - I enter the dance studio; a circle
  of youth is cross legged on the floor exchanging
names with the teacher. I conspicuously joined the         Form
      circle and added my name, resisting the
      overwhelming temptation to bolt or add
      “Grandma” as my prefix. Perseverance.
Commitment. Determination. Self-talk: “I’m here,
 I should do this, this is something I’ve wanted to
do, get over yourself, nobody cares, it’s not about
them, it’s for you,” and on, and on, and on. Okay,
breathe in, breathe out, the class finally starts and
I find a piece of dance floor real estate far enough
     away from the mirror that my reflection is
  respectable and close enough that I can see the
           teacher and follow her moves.                Form



 Five, six, seven, eight, the piano accompanist finds   Form
                                                        pt, N
the melody on the keys and my body miraculously
     finds the rhythm and astonishes me with its
  remembrance of the moves. My inner core is at
one with the music and the movement. At times I
  close my eyes (which proves to be a bad choice
  since it defies my balance), but I easily regain my
 equilibrium. Then, we move from standing to the
floor exercises. I am now so in-tune with my inner
  core, but my outer core is making it difficult for
me to bend, three, four, up and over, five, six, and
   reach, seven, eight. My center is proving a little
   too central to my body. It was at that moment
 that I decided to give up my lunch at Subway and
  the “oven baked” chips that went along with my
                  “low- fat” sandwich.                  Form

                                                        Form
    And then the piece de résistance; a part of the         Form
                                                            pt, N
        class that in my jubilant anticipation, my
   subconscious had clearly chosen to forget in its
  underhanded effort to coerce me to go to class.
  The across-the-floor segment. This is where you
   line up, either individually or in small groups, to
  leap, jump, and chasse, triplet, scurry, glide (you
  get the picture) across the floor. This is the time
  of the class where my carefully placed anonymity
    was about to become glaringly exposed. More
      self-talk, “They are really only interested in
   themselves and how really great they look with
   their pants rolled down, flat stomach, cute tight
 tops, bare toned arms, they probably don’t know
you even exist, really they don’t care anyways, and
    remember, this is for you, this is your time.” It
really isn’t helping as I float, flutter, prance, breasts
flopping up and down, three, four, across the floor,
    sucking in the stomach, five, six, remember to
     breath, seven, eight, how ridiculous do I look,
 when will it be over, I’m having such a great time,
 and now starting with the left, seven, eight, and…         Form



  Okay, I made it through “the across-the-floor”            Form
                                                            pt, N
 and then she taught the closing routine. I had to
 concentrate so much on remembering the steps
 that I forgot to be self-conscious for a minute. In
  that moment, the fear of screwing up the steps
  and drawing even more attention to my out-of-
 sequence self was so intensely more critical than          Form
    how I looked when I danced that I actually
            allowed myself to dance.                     Form



So, I’ve decided not to play the excuse card (even       Form
                                                         pt, N
 thought my knee is burning today). I will just re-
  frame it to believe that it is “burning” with the
                  desire to dance.                       Form



      I will return still feeling a little ridiculous,   Form
                                                         pt, N
especially since after my fifteen-year-old daughter
pleaded and begged to see my routine, I gave her
a little sample which left her laughing hysterically,
tears coming out of her eyes, rolling on the floor.      Form



   With all this encouragement, how can I not            Form
                                                         pt, N
 continue! The truth is that I enjoyed it, despite
  the cramping of muscles that were seriously
demanding why on earth I was doing this to them.
            It felt good to dance again.                 Form



    More importantly, it felt good to have finally       Form
                                                         pt, N
followed through on something that is just for me.
  And it is with this self talk that I will go back to
class next week, and once again rely on my psyche
     to determine whether it will be a delightful
  diversion or a daunting display. It’s really just as
    much about my head as it is about my body.           Form



  So here it is: Dance is a metaphor of life (this       Form
                                                         pt, N
happens to be true). It’s about being in alignment       Form
and it starts at our core, one, two, and reaches up
 one vertebra at a time, three, four, and lengthens
 to root us to the ground, five, six, inspire, inhale,
 and release the energy as it emanates from every
        point of our being, seven, and eight.            Form

                                                         Form




                                                         Form
                   Body & Soul
               By Jacqui Markowitz                     Form



 Our bodies are like our suitcase and we shove all     Form
                                                       pt, N
  the “stuff” we collect on our travels through life
into whatever space is provided. In my case, I have
 the expandable model, and I cloak it only in black
    to give the illusion that it is the more slender
             model. But it’s just a disguise.          Form



 This week I began, along with five other women        Form
                                                       pt, N
 and one man, our pilot program, Frame of Mind
for Body & Soul, based on the idea that the single
    most important factor to successfully make
changes in our bodies is our frame of mind. I have
embarked upon this seventy-day journey, with my
suitcase firmly in tow (thank goodness for wheels,
 or I would never make it up the stairs…) I hope
  to lighten my load as I proceed through all the
 unknown territories in this adventure to reclaim
               the shape of my body.                   Form



   After just a couple of days, I am aware of my       Form
                                                       pt, N
mindset. My thoughts are ignited. I am conscious
  of the choices that I make during the day. Each
  day we are committed to writing in an on-line
 journal. This is a very powerful experience. It is
incredible to put my thoughts down, to take the
time to think about how I feel, to experience my
    connection with my body, my actions, and           Form
 reactions; how I feel when I provide nourishment
 for my body and how I feel when I do something
that it not respectful to myself, like when I choose
 foods that are not healthy. I allow myself to feel
joy when I go for a walk, or drink a glass of water
   or green tea. I love reading the journals of my
   “body and soul-mates”; their inner quests are
      inspiring and I feel close to them already,
     connected, on their side and by their side,
       supporting their spirit and commitment.         Form



  I’ve been contemplating this idea of time. The       Form
                                                       pt, N
other night in bed, my husband turned to me and
said, “Our time has run out.” I felt a shudder go
 through my body; all sorts of things flooded my
mind in an instant of chaos and confusion. All the
things I should have said, all things we wanted to
                        do                             Form

                                                       Form
                                                       pt, N




                                                       Form
but didn’t because of this and that and money, and
on and on…all the opportunities I’ve had, but put
  on hold… I should have taken more action; I
         should have called the doctor…                 Form



 Then he continued, “You’ve known the lease was         Form
                                                        pt, N
  up and if we don’t find a car to lease this week,
then we will have to renew your car for another 6
                     months.”                           Form



Whewwww… But the feeling of time has lingered           Form
                                                        pt, N
   within me. If this were a spinning game, the
 pointer has landed squarely in my direction. My
  time is now. Enough, enough, enough. Enough
  excuses, enough putting my body on the back
 burner, enough postponing, starting tomorrow,
 waiting for a better time, finding excuses…I feel
 compelled to make this happen for myself now.
No looking back, no regrets…time to take charge
          of my life. This is my first step.            Form



 I feel an inner light, just a glimmer right now, but   Form
                                                        pt, N
there is enough to nurture and to grow. This is an
unbelievable journey, and I’m only just beginning. I
               intend to travel light…                  Form

                                                        Form


                                                        Form
                      Snow Day
                 By Jacqui Markowitz                         Form



  I woke up this morning with great anticipation,            Form
                                                             pt, N
looked out the window, and “Yeah, it’s snowing!”
 The storm did come, the weatherman got it right
     this time…SNOW DAY! I feel cocooned,
  surrounded by snow; from my window it looks
 peaceful, white, and fluffy as it settles gently over
the landscape. My stairs have disappeared and the
swings sway in the wind, leaving little space for my
 legs to soar with them. The children are sleeping
         upstairs, school has been cancelled.                Form



My husband is sleeping, the dog is sleeping, and I           Form
                                                             pt, N
am cooking soup, the aroma filtering through the
  house. Mmmmmm. All is how it should be.                    Form



But, I feel like I’m playing hooky. I feel a little guilty   Form
                                                             pt, N
   that I am not getting in the car and making the
      effort to get into the office. I turn on the
   television and see hundreds of cars, dedicated
 commuters, employees, getting into work. They
    are going painfully slow; there are numerous
accidents. But they have no choice. They need to
earn their day’s pay. The newspaper was delivered,
  the mailman came. Not sleet, nor snow, nor….
 And I feel conflicted. Yes, I can write from home,
 and it would really be ridiculous for me to spend
    the next couple of hours in the car, and then            Form
worry about how I’m going to get back home, but
the terms of my employment have me going into
 the office daily. I know my employer would not
have a problem with me working from home, but
  still, I feel funny about it. It’s this responsibility
      thing. It’s about commitment, not taking
 advantage of the situation, and all that stuff. For
me, it’s a no-win situation. I will feel bad if I go in
  and bad if I don’t. What’s the matter with me!           Form



 Why can’t I just be in the moment, not worry so           Form
                                                           pt, N
much, go with the flow, feel comfortable and right
about my decisions, and not second guess myself?
The more that I think about it, the more I believe
 that it has to do with being in control of my own
   destiny. As I’m working these feelings out on
paper, I am exposing a lot of mixed emotions. The
  idea of approval pops into my mind. I’ve always
   thought that I am a very independent person,
                  motivated, a self-




                                                           Form
  starter, and confident. But, am I the kind of
person that needs to report to someone to get
permission to stay home on a snow day? And if I
am, do I also need stroking and approval for the
              work that I do? Help!                   Form



For me, I think that it’s exactly my independence     Form
                                                      pt, N
  that throws me a little. As a writer, I need to
constantly determine what exactly is expected of
 me, and what my parameters are. I am always
 looking for approval. Even though I might love
 what I have written, think it’s the next Pulitzer
winner, it is part of my job to run it by an editor
 or an employer to make sure that what I have
 written is on target for their publications. As a
 writer, rejections are part of my daily life, and
    even though it is personal, I don’t take it
     personally. After all, I am still working!       Form



Now, I work for a coaching company, so it’s very      Form
                                                      pt, N
important for me to understand and convey the
lessons I have learned from my snow day story.
 Here is what I have realized on this wonderful,
                white, snowy day:                     Form



  1. Use writing as a tool to work things out; it     Form
                                                      pt, N
really does help to make sense of things and allow
our minds a forum to express our feelings, churn
   up ideologies, and play with conclusions and
                                                      Form
                     decisions.                       Form
 2. I think that we all have feelings of self-doubt        Form
                                                           pt, N
   from time to time. I believe that we can be
   independent, strong, and confident and still
 require, seek, and enjoy approval for a job well
                        done.                              Form



3. We have to be accountable to ourselves. It is           Form
                                                           pt, N
 up to us to make the decisions that govern our
 lives. We must not confuse accountability with
respect. It is respectful to check in with my boss
 to let her know that I’m not going to make it in
because of weather conditions, but it is up to me
to be responsible and accountable to get the job
                       done.                               Form



  4. Emotional resilience. You’ve got to have it.          Form
                                                           pt, N
 Sometimes I miss. Sometimes the story doesn’t
 work, and my page is covered with red pen. It’s
                       okay.                               Form



 Sometimes a publisher doesn’t accept my piece.            Form
                                                           pt, N
   It’s okay. It’s okay because I know that I am a
   good writer. I know that if one piece doesn’t
work out, another will. If one publisher rejects my
novel, another will love it. I have faith that I will be
 successful; rejection and red pens are part of my
                          job.                             Form


                                                           Form
And lastly, I believe that everybody needs a snow    Form
                                                     pt, N
               day from time to time.
                                                     Form


   Consider it a guilty pleasure. It’s okay to let   Form
                                                     pt, N
 ourselves off the hook once and a while, go with
the flow, dispense judgment, and be at peace with
                   our decisions.                    Form



     Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow….         Form
                                                     pt, N
                                                     Form




                                                     Form
               Time and Harmony
               By Jacqui Markowitz

 Time is a big issue for me. Most of the time I feel   Form
                                                       pt, N
  overwhelmed. Actually, I feel like I’m drowning
 with all the things that I “have to” and “want to”
do each day. The biggest issue that is weighing on
   me now is that I feel tremendous remorse and
   guilt that I don’t see my Mom enough – she is
   ninety, very frail, we have been through much
together over the years. There is a constant pang,
    an ache in my chest, even within me now as I
write. I lost my Dad when I was fifteen and it was
 just her and I left at home. I was born late in her
life and my siblings were already out of the house.
     So we grew together, her into a widowed,
   working mother and me into womanhood. She
                 has given me so much.                 Form



I want to spend more time with my husband and          Form
                                                       pt, N
my daughters, and most of the time lately I don’t
feel like I am supporting them enough, and things
are slipping. I really, really want to work out and
  take care of myself. I want to be present and
    entirely in the moment at work. Tick, tick,
tick…Okay, I think that my anxiety level is rising
                   as I’m writing...                   Form



  Time was the topic of our Frame of Mind for          Form
                                                       pt, N
   Body and Soul Coaching call this week. The          Form
  conversation between all of us on the call was
honest, true, heartfelt, and magnificent. It gave me
  tingles of excitement, that we were all on this
       marvelous journey together and we are
     discovering amazing and poignant pieces of
 ourselves. I am blown away by the candor of the
  members of our group. You know that feeling
   when you are speaking to someone and their
   words, the sensation of how they share their
 experience is so real, without airs, that you are
 drawn to them in a way that you can relate and
  support. That is the most amazing thing about
  what is happening within this group. I feel a joy
    inside me as they unleash and relish in their
discoveries. And I feel joy and peace with some of
   the discoveries I am unraveling within myself.       Form



 On the call this week, I realized something about      Form
                                                        pt, N
time. Actually something `BIG`, as Kim would say.
 I was talking about the fact that I had cancelled a
    couple of commitments I had on one night,
favoring instead to see my Mom and grocery shop
– both of which I desperately needed to do. In the
 course of my conversation, I said, “I let myself off
  the hook”. Boom! There it is. Simple and true. I
did. I let myself off the hook and did exactly what
  was in my heart to do for myself, the things that
at that moment made complete sense in my world
          and gave me a sense of harmony.               Form

                                                        Form
And it did. I worked a little later to finish off some   Form
                                                         pt, N
things so that I didn’t feel as stressed, I spent two
hours with my Mom, grocery shopped, picked up
 one of my daughters at the subway, came home,
 we made dinner together, ate in the garden, and
   then watched the hockey game, which I didn’t
      finish because I fell asleep on the couch
  somewhere during the second overtime. Now,
although it makes me tired to write about all that
 went into that day, at the end of the day I felt at
peace. I wasn’t struggling with myself, and I wasn’t
         consumed with all that I didn’t do.             Form



I know I can’t keep up quite that pace, and there        Form
                                                         pt, N
was no time in that day to exercise, even though
  I’m up these days before six. The no-sleep and
early-morning thing will have to wait for another
       time. (See how well I’m prioritizing!)            Form



For now, I will close this musing with the ideas of      Form
                                                         pt, N
time and harmony held steadfast and clear in my
 vision, and melodic, since the title is making me
   think of the Paul McCartney tune, Ebony and           Form

   Ivory… Live together in perfect harmony…              Form
                                                         pt, N
                                                         Form


                                                         Form
           Putting Yourself Out There
              By Jacqui Markowitz

 One week last summer, I participated in a seven-      Form
                                                       pt, N
day intensive writer’s workshop. The week before
 I was on the soccer field, well not actually on the
   turf, but in the stands: I confess, I am a soccer
 mom, true – proud and happy to be one! One of
       the moms happened to mention that an
    acquaintance of hers was taking this amazing
     course where a very renowned author was
 reading her manuscript each week and giving her
  notes. Well, that planted the seed. I came home
    and immediately went online to research this
   program – and there it was. Her course was a
  correspondence program that didn’t start again
 until January, but there was a summer workshop
beginning that next Saturday. Okay – armed with a
      year working at a coaching company, “top
 performers move with speed” presenting itself in
script before my eyes, I considered it a “sign” and
decided that I had nothing to lose. I quickly chose
 a passage from my novel that just happened to fit
 the 15-page criteria and wrote a cover letter and
sent it off to the director of the program asking if
 there was any room left. I was accepted and with
         that came my incredible leap of faith.        Form



I didn’t intend on being a writer. After high school   Form
                                                       pt, N
I thought I was going to be an actress or a lawyer.    Form
 After graduating with a Bachelors degree in Fine
  Arts, with my major in dance, I got a job as a
       producer with an advertising agency.             Form



 Clearly no writing in that mixed bag. So it was a      Form
                                                        pt, N
surprise to me when I sat down at the computer
 and one day and a year later had produced the
             first draft of my novel.                   Form



 I placed it in a drawer and there it sat for many,     Form
                                                        pt, N
          many years… until a week ago.
                                                        Form


                   Big, big, leap.                      Form
                                                        pt, N
                                                        Form
   The director of the program suggested that I         Form
  work with a wonderful Canadian author called          pt, N

  Lisa Moore. I immediately clicked with her and
 with the assortment of talented characters in my
  group. Mismatched at first sight indeed, but on
 planet writing, we became instant rocket mates,
  learning to listen, fuel, appreciate, critique, and
      question every single salacious syllable.         Form

It was somewhat like a boot camp for the literary       Form
                                                        pt, N
 set. We met with our groups each morning and
   were treated to a buffet lunch, followed by a
 smorgasbord of afternoon delights with lectures
from publishers and authors; readings, and details
of the writer’s life that our director referred to as
 “rocket fuel”. Total immersion in literary "La La
   Land" comes with homework. I would arrive            Form
    home at around five-thirty and immediately
 retreat to the computer, where my fingers tried
to keep pace with my mind and my mind tried to
 give my finger tips something to do. Definitely a
 push and pull relationship. Each morning in class
     we would share the spoils that we were
    convinced were either profound or absurd,
      miraculously all somehow pulling it off.         Form



   So Jacqui, how did the week go, what did you        Form
                                                       pt, N
learn, did you enjoy it? In reverse, I enjoyed every
 single minute of the week. I learned so much and
    the week went better than I could ever have
                     imagined.                         Form



   The timing was wrong and the timing couldn’t        Form
                                                       pt, N
have been more right. I had to ask Kim for a week
  off work to take this course, even though I had
  already made vacation commitments for later in
    the month. The painters were coming to my
   house and I had a ton of cleaning to do. I had a
 house guest arriving the first day of the program
     and had to miss one of the days due to my
 commitments. But, the timing couldn’t have been
  more right. An opportunity to follow my dream
  presented itself out of the blue; well, more like
    out of the green, and all I had to do was leap.    Form



   I am a very private and guarded person. Not         Form
                                                       pt, N
 anymore! Well, that’s not entirely true, but I did    Form
 learn to appreciate on a very deep and personal
level the power and joy of sharing my work with
others. I developed a significant respect and sense
  of honor about the relationship of sharing our
   thoughts or writings with other like-minded
                      people.                          Form



 I put myself out there. This was huge for me. On      Form
                                                       pt, N
 Wednesday night we were invited to do a three-
minute reading of our work. I was terrified. Was it
good, would my mouth go dry, would I quiver and
quake? The entire day was riddled with self doubt;
   I even began a mad edit of another piece a half
                 hour before liftoff.                  Form



Then self-doubt turned to self-talk – “Jacqui if you   Form
                                                       pt, N
don’t do this you will be so mad at yourself, grow
  up, do this, do not quake and quiver, get over
yourself and do it - followed by a steady rhythm of
 breathe and breathe out to the count of eight.”       Form



  And I did it. From somewhere a clear, ethereal       Form
                                                       pt, N
  voice filled the room, the microphone was my
friend, I was in control, and the words spilled out
in cadence and measure and texture. I could see
   the words paint their image across the room.        Form



 Sometimes, we have to put ourselves out there.        Form
                                                       pt, N
   In doing so, we stand to gain so much and
                                                       Form
    discover dazzling details about ourselves.         Form
                            Form

                            Form
                            Sans
                            Form




                            Form

                            Form
                            Sans
Frame of Mind Perspective
                            Form




                            Form
                                               Form

“The way you think determines how you feel.
 Your perspective catapults you to success.”




                                               Form
             The Resolution Hangover
                                                         Form

 Over and over again, year after year, like a rite of
   passage, we determine what our New Year’s
 resolutions will be. This is a great idea! One year
is over, and we are at the beginning of a new year.
    It’s a time to re-think what our dreams and
  aspirations are, what we want to achieve in the
coming year, how we want to look, what we want
to do, and who we want to be. It’s an opportunity
 to let go of past limitations and start fresh. It’s a
  moment where we no longer feel the chains of
 resistance, and our champagne dreams are laced
 with spontaneous optimism, good will, and hope.

So what’s wrong with this? Why don’t New Year’s
              Resolutions work?

 Everything about New Year’s resolutions comes
  with the sparkle factor. They sound great; they
  spread cheer like those festive horns with the
    silver tinsel we blow at midnight. Like the
 twinkling confetti, resolutions are on the tongue
  of every tuxedo and little black dress. What’s
 wrong with New Year’s resolutions is that they
don’t work. They are all based on intent, on spur-
  of-the-moment ideas, contemplations, whims,
            fancies, and buoyant bravado.


                                                         Form
  How many New Year’s Resolutions have you
             broken so far?

The tangible problem with New Year’s resolutions
is that they are just a bunch of words that have no
 roots, no gravity, and no weight. Resolutions are
 made in response to something you want to end,
   usually a deep-rooted habit or life pattern that
     even the magic of New Year’s Eve has little
 chance of changing. After that glorious fairy dust
  settles, we are still left with the same issues that
     seemed so easy to resolve. The resolution
   presents itself like a quick fix, like the latest get
    rich quick scheme or lose a gazillion pounds
                     overnight plan.

    The antidote to a New Year’s Resolution
 hangover, its Bloody Mary, can be considered in
             two words – Dream Big.

   Dream big. Yes, this absolutely applies to our
    careers as well. And yes, it even and more
 poignantly applies to the kind of economy that is
  forecasted next year. The difference between
    making a resolution and making an effective
  change in our life lies within the idea of striving
towards something rather than moving away from
   something. We think that our resolutions are
 dreams, but they come from a place of scarcity,
   rather than from a place of abundance. If our
                                                           Form
resolution is to lose weight, we are struggling with
 the notion that we are fat. What would happen if
we decided that we want to live a healthy life, and
    eat foods that promote a healthy body? The
 determining factor in achieving our resolutions is
 in how we think about what we want to achieve,
in how big our dream is. Here’s an example: If our
 resolution is to make more money, that is based
   on the fact that we likely didn’t make enough
 money and we were unable to do the things that
  we wanted to do. In fact, this kind of resolution
  only allows us to springboard from the negative.
   So, we are already contemplating fulfilling our
   prophecy from a seriously diminished starting
                        point.

Let’s re-frame that same resolution. Let’s consider
it from a different frame of mind. If our resolution
is to create a wonderful lifestyle for our family, to
 build satisfying and long lasting relationships with
our clients, and serve their respectful needs in this
     downturn market, or to attend an inspiring
    conference in Los Angeles and then take the
   family to the beach, we have just packaged our
      resolution in a whole different way. This
              resolution is inspirational.

This is a great dream; we can taste, feel, and crave
it. This resolution serves as a personal vision, one
                                                        Form
  that we can fall in love with; one that has the
       power to capitulate us to success.

In order to seriously be effective, the “resolution”
    needs to infiltrate our thinking. It must be an
 integral part of our mind set, become part of our
  frame of mind. It must emanate from within. It
      must present itself as a burning desire, as
 something that we feel that we can’t live without.
     Rather than make resolutions, we must be
  resolute in our ambition and never sacrifice our
    passion, our desire to follow through on the
             changes we want to make.

 How do we get the frame of mind necessary to
            fuel our big dreams?

  One of the most effective ways of reaching our
 big dreams is to work with a coach. A coach can
provide us with a framework that will enable us to
  reach our dreams. The right coaching program
    addresses the fact that there are flaws in our
thinking and will guide us through the three stages
    of development necessary to re-program our
 frame of mind to allow real change to take place;
   awareness, practice, and action. The coaching
programs we should be looking for are those that
    are rooted in the most current and forward-
   thinking areas with regards to the discipline of
deliberate thought, programs that clearly take into
                                                       Form
 consideration the idea of the whole agent, and
those that recognize that the way to achieve our
    resolutions isn’t from crawling out of our
misfortunes, but by embracing our big dreams and
          allowing ourselves to sparkle.




                                                   Form
              The Greatest Coaches

    I can replay the conversation in my mind as
though it were yesterday. I was 21 years old and I
was taking a Masters Level university course called
“Educational Psychology.” It was a small class with
   maybe 15 students in total. I was clearly the
 youngest in the group. It was a highly interactive
 class filled with discussion and debate. The mid-
 term exam was conducted face-to-face with the
        professor in a private meeting room.

  My professor asked me questions about Freud,
Jung, and Skinner. We battled about the virtues of
cognitive psychology versus behavioral psychology.
He asked me what I saw myself doing in the future.
 I told him I wasn’t sure. There was a part of me
 that was interested in business but I also wanted
  to be involved with something that could really
                    help people.

 At the very end of the oral interrogation he said
 this: “You must have a very high IQ. Your ability
  to think about this material and communicate
      your understanding is remarkable.” That
 statement stopped me in my tracks. I had never
ever thought of myself as intelligent. In fact, it was
 quite the opposite. I often found myself amongst
    people whom I considered to be head and
shoulders above me regarding intellectual matters.
                                                         Form
  I couldn’t really engage in a conversation about
    politics, I didn’t understand economics, and I
 certainly was not able to discuss foreign affairs or
international policy. My school marks were always
 slightly above average, but nothing to really write
home about. Up until that moment I was just little
    Kim, youngest in the family, social, outgoing,
     always on the phone, slightly rebellious, but
   ultimately very compliant. I was an “under the
 radar” kind of student, and never did anything to
 draw any type of significant attention to myself. I
           would say I was even a little shy.

 That conversation turned my world around. My
 professor saw something in me that I had never
seen in myself - something that held an enormous
amount of potential. He held up a mirror to show
  me the reflection of what he saw in me. Was it
true? Was I really smart? Although I wasn’t nearly
 convinced, all of a sudden it was a possibility and
all of a sudden I started to explore that possibility
in a new light. My perspective of me had changed.




                                                        Form
For the second half of that semester I worked my
  butt off. I was committed to the material, I was
committed to the professor, and I was committed
to performing at the very peak of my ability. I gave
 it everything I had – and I did it in order to turn
    that possibility into a reality. I did it for me.

   That professor turned out to be one of the
 greatest coaches I have come across in my life.
        That is what a great coach does:

      A great coach sees potential in you that you      Form
                                                        numb
          are unable to see in yourself.
                                                        Form

        A great coach believes in your resilience       Form
                                                        numb
  and only sees your capabilities and strengths,
  allowing your weaknesses to fade completely.
                                                        Form

             A great coach encourages your              Form
                                                        numb
independence and helps you to value and develop
accountability to yourself. He or she watches with
pride and support as you stand on your own two
         feet, forging your own success.
                                                        Form

       A great coach helps you to stay on the path      Form
                                                        numb
  that brings you toward your destination. They
help to pull you back onto the path when you are
veering off course with a loving touch, constantly
reminding you of the vision you have of your ideal
                      world.
                                                        Form
                                                       Form

      A great coach stands by your side and then       Form
                                                       numb
     watches with a smile as you walk away.
                                                       Form

  A great coach is like your greatest, most loved
     teacher. The one who made you believe in
     yourself; that made you eager to get to the
classroom each lesson; that ignited your thirst for
knowledge and gave you the biggest gift of all, the
   inner strength and conviction to strive for and
  reach your goals. A great coach is the one who
makes a difference in our lives; who takes a special
 interest in us and makes us believe that all things
are possible; who holds a mirror up and allows us
    to see all that we could not see in ourselves,
      allowing us to see our unique talents and
          greatness reflected in the mirror.




                                                       Form
                 The Pink Slip…

        What would happen at work if…

            You repeatedly showed up late?            Form
                                                      numb
                                                      Form
       You consistently put your responsibilities     Form
                      off?                            numb
                                                      Form

      You neglected your primary tasks because        Form
                                                      numb
      you were distracted by other things?
                                                      Form

If you committed these infractions at work, your
     employer would have cause for dismissal.

In my coaching sessions, I always ask the question;
       what is your primary responsibility?

 Most often, women answer the question with a
 never ending list, citing the innumerable details,
   commitments, issues, schedules, and bits and
 pieces that they are responsible for, all of them
 aimed at taking care of their children, husbands,
       parents, friends, and the multitude of
 organizations and committees they are involved
  with. Nowhere in the list do I hear about how
   they take care of themselves. Nowhere – it’s
      astounding. If you abdicated all of your
 responsibilities at work you would be fired, and
yet, over and over again, women place themselves
                                                      Form
 last on the “to do” list, neglecting to take care of
their personal business at hand. It’s not acceptable
to do this at work. Why is it acceptable to do this
    in your life? This is grounds for the pink slip.

Your number one responsibility is to take care of
                  yourself.

   What does that really mean? Over and above
    everything else, your primary job is to take
responsibility for the way you feel. No blaming, no
finger pointing, no feeling like a victim. No waiting
for someone else to do something, say something,
     or be something so that you can be happy.
  Certainly not waiting for someone to make you
  the priority in your own life; that is your title to
                bestow upon yourself.




                                                         Form
 The more that you put your own needs aside to
    take care of everyone else’s, the more you
systematically rob yourself of the opportunities to
 reach your potential and to enjoy the things that
are important for you. As a result, you slowly but
   ever so surely erode your self-confidence. In
    essence, while you believe you are creating
     happiness by taking care of everything for
    everyone, you are allowing vast feelings of
worthlessness and unhappiness into your own life.
  When your desires and needs are always in last
   place, when there never seems to be enough
  hours in the day, when you are micromanaging
  everybody’s lives, frankly, you are not managing
 your life in an appropriate manner at all. It’s not
  productive in any way, not even for the people
     whose lives you think you are supporting.

What does this have to do with sales relationships?
 Everything. Your number one responsibility in
your life is to take care of yourself first. In doing
   so, your relationships will flourish and be
 abundant rather than difficult and diminished.

When you place yourself in a position of priority,
you are clearly making a statement that you have
  value and worth. That is very attractive; it is
     human nature to be drawn to success.


                                                        Form
  Successful real estate agents clearly understand
 the connection between taking responsibility for
yourself and sales, being able to come to the table
  each day from a place of value and worth. Real
      Estate is a relationship-based industry.

   Take away all the bells and whistles, the tools,
gadgets, and technology, and there at the core will
be relationships. Agents who are skilled at building,
 maintaining, and growing relationships have been
 able to sustain their business, even during market
   downturns. They have been able to effectively
  communicate with their clients, providing them
  clear information and a high level of service, and
   benefiting from a long established and trusted
                     relationship.




                                                        Form
  Here are three key “top priority” strategies to
    incorporate into our lives as extraordinary
   women that will have far-reaching benefits in
  terms of all our endeavors and successful sales
                   relationships.

        Hang up the cape. The superwoman theory         Form
                                                        numb
  is old and tired. We are, however, remarkable
 women, able to navigate through our days with
 brilliant presence and ease, maintaining a strong
and concise agenda that fits into and respects the
             multi-functions of our lives.
                                                        Form

         Hold fast to the vision that we have for       Form
                                                        numb
   ourselves. We can do all that is significant and
  integral to our lives if we understand what it is
   that we want to achieve in a broad sense, and
 keep that vision firmly and clearly planted in our
 minds. When our actions support that vision, it
                 keeps us on track.
                                                        Form

           Be authentic. If we lead our lives with      Form
                                                        numb
 authenticity, then all the pieces of the puzzle will
  fall into place. When we are authentic, we are
  respecting ourselves and acting from a place of
truth and integrity. When we communicate from a
platform of authenticity, we find that our mandate
   is achieved. If we build that kind of authentic
relationship with our clients, they will be there for
             us throughout our careers.
                                                        Form
                                                      Form

There is only one pink slip that is relevant in our
 lives – the one that gives us the inner glow that
we have made ourselves the number one priority
                    in our lives.




                                                      Form
                  Independence Day!
   “Independence: freedom from the control and
                 influence of others.”
   Independence is a funny thing. It's truly at the
 core of Frame of Mind Coaching - and at the core
  of personal well being. So what is independence
really all about? It's about taking responsibility for
      the way you feel and not relying on other
            people to make you feel good.
 Some people find this challenging. As humans, we
     are interconnected. We are affected by one
       another. So can there truly be a place of
independence with respect to how you feel? How
 can a mother not feel for her child when the child
   was bullied at school? How can a husband not
   feel for his wife when he hears about how her
 boss disrespected her? How can a friend not feel
    for her friend when she sees her in a state of
   sadness or depression? We are human, feeling
     people. How can we dissociate from other
      people’s emotions? How do we preserve
  ourselves and ward against the volatility of other
        people’s mood swings and life drama?
       The answer to this is not dissociation or
 preservation. The answer is choice. While most
of us agree that we don’t have a lot of choice over
 the events that happen in other people’s lives, we
 certainly have choices about how we perceive the
   other person and the events in their lives. We
have choice over the thoughts we have and choice
                                                         Form
 over what we give our attention to. This plays a
     huge role in our relationships and how the
             relationship makes us feel.
    Let’s take the case of the child who is being
   bullied. Instinctively, as mothers, we want to
  defend our children. We want to protect them
 and keep them safe and we want to stand up for
them. Here’s what happens though – that instinct
perpetuates our vision of the child as a victim and
so long as that’s what we see, that is exactly what
                     we nurture.
  By the same token, when we focus on the wife
     who is being disrespected at the office and
     empathize with her anger, frustration, and
 helplessness, we absorb the emotions that bring
 events into our own lives that trigger these same
   kinds of feelings. When we take on someone
              else’s anger, typically we




                                                      Form
 attract events into our own lives that elicit anger.
   When things are bad for someone else and we
 focus on it with them, things don’t get any better
           – they typically just get worse.
 So how do you deal with someone who is out of
       sorts, grumpy, pissed off or depressed?
  Acknowledge how they feel and firmly focus on
 what is right with them. Focusing on what’s right
   doesn’t mean you have to speak it out loud, it
   means that you have to pay attention and turn
   your thoughts to what is working for them. If
you find that it is too difficult a task, then your job
  is to redirect your own attention to something
completely different and unrelated, something that
   make you feel good. You must make sure that
 you are taking care of your own emotions in the
  face of their downward spiral. You must make
 sure you are choosing thoughts that fuel you and
                      keep you up.
  Your greatest contribution to any relationship is
your own well being. Your greatest gift to anyone
       in your life is your own Independence.




                                                          Form
           He Told Oprah About Me…

  I admit it; I love Oprah. She is my mentor at a       Form
                                                        pt, Fo
 distance, a legend, a measuring stick of business
ingenuity and good karma. Yes, it’s my dream to
be on the Oprah show. If you’re going to dream,
                      dream big!                        Form



   This has been an unbelievable week on many           Form
                                                        pt, Fo
  levels. I’m on a perpetual high. I love what I’m
    doing. I have a roster of amazing clients that
        challenge me and inspire me with their
perseverance and commitment to their dreams. It
 has a reciprocal effect. I gain so much insight into
 myself from our coaching calls. They allow me to
    share pieces of myself as we find the words,
 thoughts, and ideas that strike a chord and elicit
 progress and change. I am left with such a feeling
of admiration and joy in the way they purposefully
overcome their struggles and take great strides to
 achieve their goals. It makes me a better person,
   and invites and encourages me to strive even
further to reach my own dreams. On a daily basis,
   little miracles are coming into my world with
 every step and at every juncture. I am filled with
                       gratitude.                       Form



I have a client who was referred to me by a direct      Form
                                                        pt, Fo
     competitor of his. That in itself is a huge
  statement. It is thrilling for me to consider the
                                                        Form
 confidence and successful swagger that allowed
him to recommend me to his rival, and the feeling
 of good will, mutual respect, and generosity that
 will remain as their bond by this action. My new
  client is a real estate broker and owns a small
        brokerage on the New Jersey coast.            Form



  As of yesterday, we had been working together       Form
                                                      pt, Fo
 for only one week of a ten-week program. Every
day for the past seven days, as per our agreement,
   he went on to our online website to post the
 journal entry reflecting the homework he had to
do for the week. And every day for the past week
  I have been corresponding with him, providing
  him with feedback on his journal. Yesterday we
     had our second call. We covered a lot of
      territory, discussing relationships, taking
   responsibility for his happiness, dropping self-
  sacrifice, increasing his commissions, and living
 with more joy. At the end of the call, he gave me
                      a huge gift.                    Form



“Kim, I can’t tell you how much better I feel after   Form
                                                      pt, Fo
  just one week. I feel so much happier. If our
coaching program ended today, I would feel I got
 my money’s worth. Every day I’ve been thinking
   about how much you have helped me that I
wanted to do something to help you in return. So
           I wrote a letter to Oprah.”                Form


                                                      Form
How did he know I wanted to be on Oprah? (Ok,          Form
                                                       pt, Fo
   I guess that one wasn’t rocket science – who
 doesn’t want to be on Oprah?) But without any
verbal communication on the topic, he unwittingly
set the wheels in motion for me to recognize one
of my personal aspirations. He wrote that I had “a
       gift that will blow her audience away.”         Form



   This was an amazing heartfelt gesture of his        Form
                                                       pt, Fo
 gratitude. I am happy that I was able to make a
difference in his life. He considers what I do as a
“gift”. The gift really is in the way my clients are
    gaining the ability to experience life a little
differently, with more joy, more awareness, and
                  more gratitude.                      Form



      When we take ownership of our lives and          Form
                                                       pt, Fo
responsibility for our own happiness and success,
     it’s remarkable that things just seem to flow
better. The things we were battling seem to lose
  their sharp edge and we find ways to work out
 issues and solve our problems. What happens is
that we shift our focus away from the stuff that is
  standing in our way and turn our focus towards
 our dreams. What we focus on grows. This shift
    in and of itself is tremendously liberating and
 invigorating, impacting every single aspect of our
                           lives.                      Form




                                                       Form
 Here are three lessons that can be gleaned from       Form
                                                       pt, Fo
                    my story.
                                                       Form


       1.   If you’re going to dream, dream big.       Form
                                                       pt, Fo
            Remarkable things can happen.
                                                       Form
                                                       numb
  2.     Top performers have the confidence to         Form

  share contacts, connections, and ideas, even to      Form

their competitors. They know that reaching out to      Form
                                                       pt, Fo
  others will only bring good will into their lives.   Form
                                                       numb

       3.  Be real. When we are honest with            Form

ourselves and allow people access to our core, we      Form

   invite people to be part of our lives and our       Form
                                                       pt, Fo
 hearts. They connect with us and we establish a       Form
                   lifelong bond.                      numb
                                                       Form

  As for me, I love to dream big and live big. I’m     Form

   going to embrace each day and enjoy every
  experience, and I’m going to focus on Oprah!




                                                       Form
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