The plan is that the bishops will spend some time

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					                                                              St. John the Divine, Selsdon
SELSDON PARISH OUTLOOK
     St. John the Divine                 RECTOR
                                            THE REVD. IAN BROTHWOOD,
                                               The Rectory, Upper Selsdon Road , CR2 8DD                      (8657 2343)

                                         HONORARY STAFF

                                              THE REVD. MICHAEL SKINNER
                                              THE REVD. STEPHEN WRIGHT
                                              READERS:
                                                 Mr R.A. LAST, 113 Littleheath Road, CR2 7SL (8657 4592)

                                         CHURCH WARDENS.
                                            Mrs. S Tilley, 101 Viney Bank, Courtwood Lane, CR0 9JU
                                                                                      (8657 1017)
                                            Mr. M Brown, 36 Greville Avenue, CR2 8NL (8657 5343)

                                         DEPUTY WARDENS
                                            Mrs. J White, 12 Ambleside Gardens, CR2 8SF (8657 2490)
                                            Mrs S Puttock, 308 Addington Road CR2 8LF (8657 0334)

                                                   SERVICES
                                                   Sundays
                                                        8.00 a.m.         Holy Communion (said) BCP
                                                       10.00 a.m.         PARISH COMMUNION
                                                       10.00 a.m.         FAMILY COMMUNION
                                                                          3rd Sunday each month
                                                                          Sunday School
                                                        6.00 p.m.         Evening Service (see Diary for details)
                                                   Weekdays
                                                       Holy Communion -Thursdays - 10.15 a.m.
                                                       Morning Prayer - Tuesdays - 9 am
                                                       Holy Days - (see Diary)
                                                       Prayers for Healing: Monday 2.00 pm (fortnightly)


                                         Enquiries regarding Baptisms, Marriages, Funerals and other Church matters should be
                                         made to the Parish Office Tuesdays & Fridays between 9.30 a.m. – 1 p.m. (Tel: 8657
                                         2343) - e-mail: stjohn.selsdon@btinternet.com
                           Price – 50p
1.                                                                                                                                                               2.

From the Rectory                                                                   Classroom delays
                                                                                   Problems with transport, however, have meant delays in the building of new
                                                                                   classrooms for the primary schools at St Mark’s Lozane and St Hugh’s
At the APCM I mentioned I                                                          Gokwe. Both of these schools are deep in rural areas several hours drive
would like to build up a                                                           down dirt roads, and the diocesan lorry is not up to the job. We are
greater awareness of, and our                                                      investigating ways of funding alternative transport.
commitment to, the links we
have with the Church in                                                            A new project – funding rural rectories
Zimbabwe. I have just                                                              Bishop Ishmael has explained to us that he has a major problem in the
received a newsletter which I                                                      diocese. It is a ‘good problem’ in that he has several new priests being
will place at the back of the church but I would like to give space in my letter   ordained on 16th June. It is usual practice in Zimbabwe for new priests to
for some edited pieces of news in the hope you will at the very least              begin their ministry with a stint in a rural parish (a strategy of throwing them
remember the Zimbabwean Church in your prayers. The Croydon Episcopal              in at the deep end!) and Bishop Ishmael has several rural areas which are
Area is twinned with the Diocese of Central Zimbabwe led by Bishop                 ready to move on from out-station status to full parishes. However this
Ishmael.                                                                           means that new rectories are needed. At present five new parishes are in the
                                                                                   process of building their rectories but have applied to the diocese for help
Bishop Ishmael writes:                                                             with funding for the roofs. A further two rectories are also needed. The cost
The general situation in the country is very unpredictable. The Government         per roof is around £1500. This is real missionary work, putting a priest in an
of National Unity hobbles on without a clear direction. The issue of               area that has never had one before, and we are planning to work in
elections is confusing all of us. We do not know when they will be held. We        partnership with the new parishes, supplying roofs once they have built the
are afraid that if elections are held without putting into place adequate          walls.
reforms to curb political violence, we will have another violent election. In
terms of food, most of the southern part of Zimbabwe experienced a dry             Bishops visit Zimbabwe in New Year
season, but we are confident that the government will import enough food.          Bishop Christopher is to travel to Zimbabwe in February 2013, together
The northern part of the country is fine. At the moment our supermarkets           with Bishop Jonathan and the new Bishop of Woolwich, Michael Ipgrave.
are still full.                                                                    The plan is that the bishops will spend some time touring the country
                                                                                   together, before focussing on their particular Link dioceses of Manicaland
The Church situation in Harare, Manicaland and Masvingo is still the same.         and Central Zimbabwe. Bishop Jonathan is keen to get more involved in the
Our lawyers are preparing heads of argument in preparation for the Supreme         link and writes: ‘I’ve been greatly impressed by the commitment, generosity
Court. We do not have a date yet. In this diocese we are still enjoying our        and dedication of the people and churches of the Croydon area to the link
peace and hope it will last.                                                       with Central Zimbabwe. It is for all our benefit that we are committed to our
                                                                                   brothers and sisters in the worldwide Church; it builds us all up as the body
St Patrick’s progress                                                              of Christ. I very much look forward to taking my part in strengthening and
We are delighted that after long delays the building of St Patrick’s hospital is   developing the link.’
now progressing with the roof now being put on. The new farm manager is
doing well and the pig herd is being built up and improved. Bishop Ishmael         If the sun ever shows itself and the rain recedes then I wish you all a restful
also reports that relationships between the various institutions on the            time in the holiday season.
mission site are now excellent.
                                                                                                                                    With all good wishes Fr Ian
3.                                                                                                                           4.

                                                                 Sun     22                  Seventh Sunday after Trinity
                                                                                   8.00 am   Holy Communion
                                                                                  10.00 am   Sung Eucharist
                                                                                  11.30 am   Unite Service
                                                                                   6.00 pm   Evening Prayer
Sun     1             Fourth Sunday after Trinity
              8.00 am Holy Communion                             Tue     24       10.00 am Morning Prayer
             10.00 am Sung Eucharist
              6.00pm Evening Prayer                              Wed     25                St. James, Apostle
                                                                                   9.00 am Said Eucharist
Mon     2    8.00 pm Said Eucharist for Our Lady of Walsingham                     8.15 pm Meditation Prayer Group

Tue     3    10.00 am Morning Prayer                             Thurs   26       10.15 am Holy Communion

Thurs   5    10.15 am Holy Communion                             Sun     29                Eighth Sunday after Trinity
                                                                                   8.00 am Holy Communion
Sun     8             Fifth Sunday after Trinity                                  10.00 am Sung Eucharist
              8.00 am Holy Communion                                               6.00 pm No evening service
             10.00 am Sung Eucharist
              6.00pm Evening Prayer                                                      July Reminders
Tue     10   10.00 am Morning Prayer

Wed     11   8.15 pm Meditation Prayer Group

Thurs   12   10.15 am Holy Communion                             Sun          1    8.45 am Parish Breakfast
Sun     15            Sixth Sunday after Trinity                 Wed          4    2.00 pm MU Cream Tea
              8.00 am Holy Communion
             10.00 am Family Service                             Thur         5   10.15 am Quiet Morning 3 Cowley Close
              6.00 pm Choral Evensong
                                                                 Sat         14   10.00 am Gardening session - all welcome
Tue     17   10.00 am Morning Prayer

Thurs   19   10.15 am Holy Communion                                                         Wedding
                                                                 28th July           Ricky Mullings and Donna Trever
5.                                                                                                                      6.

                                                                 Thurs   23    10.15 am Holy Communion

                                                                 Fri     24             St. Bartholomew
                                                                                9.00 am Said Eucharist

Thurs   2    10.15 am Holy Communion                             Sun     26             Twelfth Sunday after Trinity
                                                                                8.00 am Holy Communion
Sun     5             Ninth Sunday after Trinity                               10.00 am Sung Eucharist
              8.00 am Holy Communion                                                    No evening Service
             10.00 am Sung Eucharist
                      No evening service                         Tue     28    10.00 am Morning Prayer

Mon     6            The Transfiguration of the Lord             Thurs   30    10.15 am Holy Communion
             8.00 pm Said Eucharist for Our Lady of Walsingham

Tue     7    10.00 am Morning Prayer                                                August Reminders
Thurs   9    10.15 am Holy Communion

Sun     12            Tenth Sunday after Trinity
              8.00 am Holy Communion
             10.00 am Sung Eucharist
                      No evening service

Tue     14   10.00 am Morning Prayer

Wed     15            The Assumption of the BVM                  Thurs    2    10.15 am Quiet Morning, 3 Cowley Close
              9.00 am Said Eucharist

Thurs   16   10.15 am Holy Communion
                                                                                           Weddings
Sun     19            Eleventh Sunday after Trinity
              8.00 am Holy Communion                             22nd August          Kevin Halon and Marina Collard
             10.00 am Family Service
                      No evening service

Tue     21   10.00 am Morning Prayer
7.                                                                                  8.

Canon David Winter, a former Head of Religious Broadcasting at the BBC, continues   because time and again he reverts to the Games for illustrations of
his series presenting a point of view...                                            Christian pilgrimage. The marathon was the greatest of all the
                                                                                    contests, and that provided him with the perfect picture of the faithful
THE WAY I SEE IT: WELCOME TO THE REAL                                               life, from the starting line to the distant finish
OLYMPICS!
                                                                                    The Christian competes, but not against the other runners. Our
Just to set the record straight, the Olympic Games - yes, the events                contest is with all the things that will distract us, slow us down, divert
that will bring much of London to a standstill this month - were                    our eyes from the ultimate goal. And at the end of the marathon of
founded in 776BC in ancient Greece. They involved athletics, poetry                 life there is the prize, the ‘crown of glory’ - not just for the winner, but
and music and were held at Olympia (hence their title), a centre for                for everyone who completes the course.
the worship of Zeus. You may recall that mount Olympus - the
highest point in Greece - was the dwelling place of the gods and                    ‘I have fought the good fight’, he writes. ‘I have finished the race, I
goddesses of Greek and Roman religion.                                              have kept the faith.’ Not won, you notice, but finished. And for that,
                                                                                    he says, he will receive the crown - ‘and not only me but all who have
Once the Christian faith prevailed in the Roman Empire the Games                    longed to see him’ (2 Timothy 4:8). The apostle and the founder of
were abolished, in the fourth century AD. What we have this month is                the modern Games would agree on one thing for sure. The prize is
a modern revival of the Games, the brain-child of a Frenchman, Pierre               not for winning, but for taking part.
de Coubertin. It was he who memorably declared that the object of
the Games was not the winning but the taking part.
                                                                                    THANK YOU
The ancient Olympic Games had no element of international
competition, no rankings, no flags or national anthems. The youth of                                     Kathleen, John and Paul would like
the world were invited to Olympia to test their prowess against others
                                                                                                         to say thank you to everybody for all
- not just athletically, as we have noted, but artistically.
                                                                                                         the cards and letters we received after
By contrast, the modern Games have become a celebration of national                                      the shock of Keith's sudden death.
triumphalism, a notion far removed from the original Greek model,
but also foreign to the vision of de Coubertin. He would have                                            The knowledge of the the support from
deplored medals tables, anthems, flag-raisings and all the media hype                                    Ian and the church family has been
that surrounds perceived national success or failure. Patriotic pride has                                of great comfort as we look to the
attached itself to the accumulation of gold medals - many in Britain                                     future in faith and love.
will write this year’s Games off as a failure if Team GB does not win
more of them than we did last time.

The ancient Games are conspicuous in the New Testament, especially
in the letters of St Paul. He must have been a bit of an athletics fan,.
9.                                                                                                                                                   10.

CHRISTIAN AID WEEK 2012                                                          DIAMOND JUBILEE CELEBRATIONS

A huge thank you to all who helped make Christian                                On Sunday 3rd June, St. John's commemorated the Queen's
Aid week such a success this year, especially the hardy                          Diamond Jubilee with a celebratory lunch.
few who took part in the house to house collection
which can sometimes be challenging.                                              Sadly, due to the weather, the lunch had to be held in the church hall
                                                                                 rather than as a street party outside. The hall looked splendid with
Ros and Ian Harley hosted a meal and Michael and                                 red, white and blue decorations A Jubilee quiz together with
Anne Skinner had a coffee morning. I hope that both                              memorabilia was displayed in church.
couples and their guests enjoyed the occasions.

The parish meal was well attended this year and, despite us blowing the
                                                                                 There was Pimms or ginger beer and cider as an aperitif. Lunch itself
electrics every five minutes, all were fed and it’s always fun to get together   took us back to the 1950's including Coronation Chicken, the dish
for a meal. The Wives Bangers and Bingo event was a hilarious occasion, I        created especially for Coronation Day in 1953 and concluded with a
haven’t laughed so much in years, I fully recommend it. It is an added bonus     very English cream tea. After the answers to the Jubilee quiz (won
to have a good time in a good cause.                                             by Jean Cockerell), our glasses were charged with Prosecco and we
                                                                                 drank a loyal toast to Her Majesty
In total we raised £1560 and my final thanks go to Jim who helped me to
bank it.
                                                               Ann Crocombe

 Dear All

 Just a very short note to thank you all so much for your
 prayers and good wishes over the last month or so.

 It is wonderful to know we all have so many good friends at
 at St. John's. It never ceases to amaze me what a
 wonderful, thoughtful and caring congregation you all are.

 As many of you will have seen, I am making good progress
 and hopefully, in a few weeks will be back climbing ladders
 having a look at the front elevation of the hall! It's too wet
 to get up there at the moment at the moment anyway!
                                                                                 A big thank you to Ann Orchard who organised the quiz and
 Once again, thank you so much for all you good wishes and                       memorabilia and fronted a great team of helpers who provided and
 prayers.                                                                        served the meal.
                                          John Waddington                                                       (Photos kindly provided by Peter Brice)
                                                                                                                12.

                                          GOVERNMENT AGREES £30 MILLION EXTRA TO
                                          RESOLVE VAT CONCERNS

                                          The Church of England has welcomed the new agreement with the
                                          Government over the future funding of alterations and repairs to its
                                          12,500 listed buildings, which will provide £30 million a year extra
                                          money. This is on top of the £12 million already in the Listed Places
                                          of Worship Grant Scheme (LPWGS).

                                          Despite not persuading the Government that maintaining zero rated
                                          VAT for alterations is the best way forward, church leaders today said
                                          that the £30 million a year extra money that the Chancellor has
                                          committed to the LPWGS will enable the equivalent to the VAT bill
                                          to be paid out on all alterations and repairs to listed church buildings.
                                          The Scheme pays out to those denominations and faiths with listed
                                          buildings

                                          CHURCH COMMISSIONERS ANNOUNCE ANNUAL
                                          RESULTS FOR 2011

                                          The Church Commissioners have recently published their full Annual
                         Enjoyed by the   Report and Accounts for 2011, announcing a 2.9 per cent total return
                         young            on their investments during 2011. The Commissioners' fund is a
                                          closed fund, taking in no new money, and has now outperformed
                                          both its target return of RPI +5.0% p.a. and its comparator group
                                          over the past three, 15 and 20 years.

                                          RETURN OF CHARIOTS OF FIRE....

                                          On the 13th July, as the UK prepares for the London Olympics, 20th
                                          Century Fox is bringing the acclaimed classic "Chariots of Fire" back
                                          to the big screen in a new digitally re-mastered version. Free official
                                          community outreach resources from the Damaris trust will enable
And the not so young!!                    people to make the most of the film when it is re-released. Visit the
                                          resources page on www.damaris.org/chariots which includes a taster
                                          video introducing some of the themes of the film.
13.                                                                               TWO OLYMPIANS TO LOOK OUT FOR....

BOOK REVIEWS                                                                      “The games of the XXX Olympiad in
                                                                                  2012 are awarded to the city of
Walking with Gospel Women                                                         London”. Those words spoken by
By Fiona Stratta, BRF, £7.99                                                      Jaques Rogge, President of the
                                                                                  International Olympic Association, in
If you are involved in a women’s Bible study group, particularly in leading it,   Singapore on 6 July 2005 were life-
the big question at the start of each term is likely to be what to study. There   changing for many people. And now
are a lot of resources available, but this book offers something different… a     after all the preparation, the games
new way of making familiar Bible stories personal, walking alongside the          are upon us. The new facilities are
women involved, exploring their emotions and feeling their heartbeat.             ready. The East End of London has
                                                                                  been transformed. The tickets have been sold. For most of us the
Walking with Gospel Women: Interactive Bible meditations is a series of 26
                                                                                  Olympics will never again be held in our country in our life-time.
meditative monologues based on biblical passages in which each character
tells the story of her encounter with Jesus. As we enter her story through the
imagination, we discover what issues were touched in her life and how she         So whether you are fortunate enough to be going to the Olympics in
responded. Our minds and emotions are engaged as we listen and are then           person or just watching on TV – here are two Olympians to look out
guided through group discussion and individual reflection to consider these       for.
issues further. Newcomers to the Bible may well find this resource
approachable, and will gain cultural insights from the monologues.                Allyson Felix (200 metres, possibly 400 metres and probably
                                                                                  both relays)
The Bible in Cockney - well bits of it anyway
By Mike Coles, BRF, £5.99                                                         Allyson Felix, an American, has won the World Championship 200
                                                                                  metres title three times but came second in the event in the 2004 and
Read how Adam and Eve make a bloomin’ big mistake, how God is not
                                                                                  2008 Olympics. She says of 2012: “I've had eight years to think about
’appy with Jonah, how David gives a giant geezer a good kicking and why
Noah built a bloomin’ massive nanny. In Mark’s Gospel discover how God’s          missing out on gold. Words can't express what 2012 means to me.
own currant makes a Jim Skinner for five thousand geezers with five loaves        Motivated is an understatement.”
of Uncle Fred and two Lilian Gish. And how he heals Simon’s finger and
thumb in law when she was Tom and Dick in Uncle Ned. Great fun and                Her relationship with Jesus Christ is at the centre of everything she
perfect fer all real an' adopted Londoners in 2012 yeah?                          does. “I can’t imagine my life without knowing Jesus. I can’t imagine
                                                                                  just waking up and going through my life without him. He is my life
Author Mike Coles hated RE when he was at school, and vowed that he               and that’s what I live for. To me, the Gospel message is Jesus being
would never make the children suffer as he had to! When he moved to the           our saviour and dying on the cross for us and we don’t have to be lost,
East End, he immediately fell in love with Cockney rhyming slang and              that we can come to him and he can save us and we can follow him
started to use it in his secondary school lessons. The children loved it; he      and have a purpose in life”.
decided to write down some of his stories and—well, here they are
14.
15.                                                                                                                                            16.

Christian Taylor (Men’s Triple Jump)                                      ST JOHN’S WIVES GROUP
The men’s triple jump could be one of the highlights of 2012. Phillips    As the song goes 'The hills are alive'
Idowu of the UK is the local hero and silver medallist at the 2008        (wives group) la la la la la! Excuse
Olympics. Phillips’ main rival will be Christian Taylor – an American     the pun but we certainly enjoyed our
picked by Jonathan Edwards as the most likely to break Jonathan’s         mid summer walk accompanied by
own world record. Christian won the 2011 World Championship.              our expert warden. He was most
                                                                          informative and pointed out many
Christian lives up to his name: “I am a very strong believer in the       species of wild flowers and the
Lord. When you have his strength and have him on your side, you           conservation plans that were being carried out to keep this delightful
can’t lose. People may say, you did not do as well in that competition    area in trim for all to enjoy. He then took the group to the cliffs that
but the thing is, no matter what, I am still winning. The power and the   were quarried in the past - this made a magnificent back drop to watch
strength that you have in Christ is a special thing.”                     birds swooping and flying back to their nests. This grass area, up until
                                                                          recently was used for grazing land used by goats as they are used to
                                                                          the precarious drops of land, but due to the usual story, the council
      DENNIS TRELOAR.
                                                                          made cut backs and the goats were re-housed else where. However
                                                                          the cows still graze on the downs but were in a different area for the
      It is with great sadness that I report that my husband
      Dennis passed away peacefully on 5th April 2012 after a             next month. If you have never been to this Riddlesdown landscape,
      long and courageous fight against cancer.                           do go as it is both near and beautiful.

       Dennis was a Carpenter and Decorator and advertised in             FORTHCOMING EVENTS
      the Selsdon Parish Outlook for many years, and will be well
      known to many readers as a tradesman of the highest                 Tues 10th July 6.30pm      Trip to Old Father Thames Boat Trip
      standard.                                                                                            /pub visit

      Dennis was also a very fine musician, having served very            The group will be taking a summer outing to London by bus and
      proudly in the Band of the Coldstream Guards for many               train. We hope to join a Clipper for a ride down the Thames. We will
      years until he left to set up his business.                         be able to jump on and of at several docking areas if so wished - if it's
                                                                          good enough for the queens celebrations then it’s good enough for us,
      A Thanksgiving Service for Dennis’s life was held at Shirley        as we are all royalty in our special way.
      Methodist Church on 25th April 2012. It was well attended
      and reflected his love of life and music. He will be sadly
                                                                          We then hope to find a riverside watering hole for refreshments, a
      missed by his family and friends.
                                                      Carol Treloar
                                                                          glass of wine and purchase food. We will meet outside the church hall
                                                                          at 6.30 pm prompt. Please join us for this fun filled evening as this
                                                                          will be the last until September. Bring a friend the more the merrier.
17.                                                                                                                                                18.

Dates for your diary                                                         3RD JULY ST THOMAS THE APOSTLE – CONFUSED
                                                                                               AND DOUBTING
Tues 11th September 8.00 pm        The Opening Service with
Mothers Union                                                                Thomas, one of Jesus’ 12 apostles, was
                                                                             an impulsive, confused, honest sceptic.
I would like to take this opportunity wish everyone a wonderful              Jesus could understand and work with
summer break whatever you may have planned. Whether its taking a             such a man.
trip away or just relaxing at home, this is a time recharge your batteries
perhaps top up the tan. We hope to see you at our autumn events.             Thomas’ impulsiveness was evident
We have plenty for you to enjoy and take part in. If you would like to       when Jesus prepared to visit Lazarus in
no more about our group and programme ring me on 8657 6672                   Bethany. It was a dangerous trip to
                                                         J Guglielmi         make, because of the Jews, but Thomas
                                                                             urged his fellow disciples: “Let us also
                                                                             go, that we may die with him.” (John
                                                                             11.16) Instead, Jesus brought Lazarus
                                                                             back to life.

  MOTHERS’ UNION AT ST. JOHN’S                                               Thomas’ confusion is shown in later talks with Jesus. He was not
                                                                             really sure where Jesus was going long-term (John 14.5). But Jesus
  Next meeting –                                                             accepted this confused commitment, and began to untangle it,
                                                                             patiently explaining “I am going to my father”, and “No one comes
      Wednesday 4th July at 2 pm - Cream Tea                                 unto the Father but by me.”

                                                                             Finally, Thomas’ honest scepticism is revealed after the Resurrection,
                                                                             which he flatly refused to believe - unless he could touch the wounds
CHURCH GARDENING -
                                                                             of the risen Jesus. Sure enough, Jesus appears - but instead of scolding
                                                                             him, shows him the wounds. Thomas responds: “My Lord and my
It's been a difficult Spring and early Summer
weatherwise and gardening sessions have                                      God” (John 20.26ff).
been limited. Hopefully the sun will shine for
our next sessions on Saturday 14th July and                                  Thus Doubting Thomas’ honest doubts, turned to honest faith, have
Saturday 11th August - 10 am start. All                                      become a reassurance for thousands of men and women across the
welcome.                                                                     centuries, who also want to follow Jesus, but who require some proof
                                                                             of this amazing event - the Resurrection. In Doubting Thomas’
Michael Lishmund - 8651 2760                                                 complete affirmation of faith, after meeting the risen, crucified Christ,
                                                                             they can find support for their own faith.
19.                                                                                                                                      20

Some basic laws of economics                                          An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You
                                                                      tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb
Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.        you. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a
                                                                      democracy.
Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and
gives you some milk.                                                  Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these two cows, man,
                                                                      grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
Nazism: You have two cows; the Government takes both and
shoots you.                                                           Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to
                                                                      take harmonica lessons...
Bureaucratism: You have two cows; the Government takes both,
shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away.                 Fatalist: You have two doomed cows...

Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your      A Greek Corporation: You had two cows. You borrowed money to
herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire      buy ten cows. Now you have no cows, but you owe tax on 100
on the income.                                                        cows.

An American Corporation: You have two cows. You sell one, and
force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a
consultant to analyse why the cow dropped dead.

A French Corporation: You have two cows. You go on strike
because you want three cows.

Japanese Corporation: You have two cows. You redesign them so
they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty
times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called
Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.

An Italian Corporation: You have two cows, but you don't know
where they are. You break for lunch.

A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong
to you. You charge others for storing them.

Chinese Corporation: You have two cows. You have 300 people
milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity,
and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
21.                                                                                                                                                     22.

                                       The Rectory, St. James the Least   For many of our congregation, this represented the End of
                                                                          Civilisation as we Know It. Calls were made to have a permanent
On why our church is safe from vandals                                    armed guard on the premises and a few even speculated about the
                                                                          possibility of having tactical nuclear weapons and strategically placed
My dear Nephew Darren                                                     land mines about the place. Colonel Beauchamp generously offered
                                                                          us his collection of man traps.
I was sorry to hear that your church was broken into last week. Since
your sound system rivals that of any concert hall and your projection     Perhaps our thieves may be forgiven their crime, but until that three-
equipment would put most cinemas to shame, it is not surprising that      penny piece and button are returned, it will not be forgotten.
is what they had their sights on. Your bemusement that they never                                                            Your loving uncle, Eustace
touched your library of recordings is less understandable. I would
have thought that few thieves would have been much interested in          Clues Across
thirteen alternative renditions of “Shine Jesus, shine” and other such    1    ‘I pray that out of his glorious — he may strengthen you with power
artistic gems.                                                                      through his Spirit in your inner being’ (Ephesians 3:16) (6)
                                                                          4    ‘Saul’s father Kish and — father Ner were sons of Abiel’
                                                                                    (1 Samuel 14:51) (6)
It may have been an act of Christian charity to put a sign outside        7    ‘Praise the Lord, O my — ’ (Psalm 103:1) (4)
saying “Thieves will be forgiven”, although since they took this as an    8    See 5 Down
invitation to burgle your house the following evening, I hope your        9    Laws (1 Kings 11:33) (8)
forgiveness still operates. You must have been greatly relieved to find   13   ‘Who of you by worrying can — a single hour to his life?’
that your collection of numbers from train spotting were untouched.                 (Luke 12:25) (3)
They must have been so overjoyed to discover your tins of night-time      16   Artistry (Exodus 31:5) (13)
                                                                          17   ‘Your young men will see visions, your — men will dream dreams’
cocoa that they overlooked them in their excitement.                                (Acts 2:17) (3)
                                                                          19   How David described his Lord (Psalm 19:14) (8)
Last year, we also had unwelcome visitors. The thieves must have          24   ‘If this city is built and its — — restored, you will be left with nothing in
spent several hours breaking down the 400 year-old oak door to get in.              Trans-Euphrates’ (Ezra 4:16) (5,3)
Had they bothered to try the handle, they would have discovered that      25   ‘The holy Scriptures, which are able to make you — for salvation
                                                                                    through faith in Christ Jesus’ (2 Timothy 3:15) (4)
we never lock the church anyway.
                                                                          26   Intended destination of arrows (Lamentations 3:12) (6)
                                                                          27   Eve hit (anag.) (6)
Since we have yet to leap forward into the nineteenth century, there
was little to attract them. Had they removed the marble sarcophagi of     Clues Down
the Earls of Lincombe, the money they may have made wouldn’t even         1    ‘For I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find — for your
have paid for the subsequent hernia operations. Inevitably, there was             souls’ (Matthew 11:29) (4)
general outrage that the poor box had been broken into – although as      2    Where Peter was when he denied Christ three times (Luke 22:55) (9)
                                                                          3    Remarkable early 20th-century Indian evangelist, a convert from
far as I can remember, for many years it had contained nothing more               Hinduism, — Sundar Singh (5)
than an old three-penny piece and a button.                               4    ‘Now the king had put the officer on whose — — leaned in charge of
                                                                                  the gate’ (2 Kings 7:17) (3,2)
23.                                                                           24.




5 and 8 Across       The Lover describes this facial feature of the Beloved
        thus: ‘Your — is like the tower of Lebanon looking towards — ’
        (Song of Songs 7:4) (4,8)
6 ‘Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled — your waist’
        (Ephesians 6:14) (5)
10 Trout (anag.) (5)
11 Easily frightened (1 Thessalonians 5:14) (5)
12 The ability to perceive (Ecclesiastes 10:3) (5)
13 One of the clans descended from Benjamin (Numbers 26:38) (9)
14 “It is one of the Twelve,” he replied, “one who — bread into the bowl
       with me”’ (Mark 14:20) (4)
15 Resound (Zephaniah 2:14) (4)
18 Traditional seat of the Dalai Lama (5)
20 Precise (John 4:53) (5)
21 Build (Ezekiel 4:2) (5)
22 Beat harshly (Acts 22:25) (4)
23 Darius, who succeeded Belshazzar as king of the Babylonians,
        was one (Daniel 5:31) (4)
25.                                                                                                            26.
                                                                   From St John’s Registers
                         The Florist
                                                                       Communicants


                                                                  6th     May                136
                                                                 13th                        158
                                                                 20th                        129
                                                                 27th                        125
      The florist, whose skills
      With flower and bloom,
      Bring brightness that fills
      The gloomiest room.                                                  Marriages
      She takes of God’s art,                                       'Brought together in Love'
      And makes it her own;
      The joy of her heart
      In colour is shown.

      The breath of the moment
      Is captured and tied;
      Brings comfort in torment
      Or tears to a bride.
      A gift for a friend,
      A sister or mother
      A token to mend
      The heart of a lover.                               19th May      Jason Sylvester Walters and
      O Floral Elation
                                                                              Alison Belinda Phillip
      Of colour and form!
      She’s gilding creation,
      And makes our hearts warm!                         The 3rd of July is the feast day of St Thomas,
                                                         the doubting apostle....
                                       By Nigel Beeton
                                                         Here is a prayer even a non-believer can pray: ‘O
                                                         Lord, if there is a Lord, save my soul, if I have a
                                                         soul.’ Ernest Renan
 27.                                                                                                                                           28.
Contact
Selsdon Community Centre
132, Addington Road                                                                          ELEPHANT LOTTO – or 50/50
South Croydon, CR2 8LA
Telephone: 020 8651 4944
Fax: 020 8657 2268
Email: info@selsdoncontact.org.uk                                                        Our lucky winner in May was Brenda Webb.
                          Diamond Jubilee Tea Party
                                                                                       Watch our for further draws on July 22nd and
                                                                                       August 19th (earlier than normal as Ellie's minder is
                                                                           busy with Olympic shifts).

                                                                           SNIPPETS OF INTEREST:

                                                                           People in the UK consider themselves Christian if they were
                                                                           christened or baptised (72%) or if their parents were Christian (38%).

                                                                           Half of the UK population (49%) do not think that Jesus is the Son of
                                                                           God, and one in 25 (4%) doubt he even ever existed.

                                                                           In 1900 (British population 41 million) 156,000 people died before the
                                                                           age of 1; in 2000 (population 60 million) 128,000 people died before
                                                                           the age of 65.



 The Diamond Jubilee started on Friday afternoon for one hundred clients
 of Contact, Selsdon’s local neighbourhood care charity. Farleigh Court
 Golf Club was the venue for a traditional English summer tea party                                                    Solution to last month’s
 featuring strawberries and cream, cakes and a glass or two of Pimms.                                                        crossword.
 Everyone was dressed for the occasion and the golf club was awash with
 red, white and blue. The event was only possible because of generous                                                  Turn to page 23 for this
 donations from Churches Together in Selsdon, Nestlé, the Rotary Club of                                                  month’s puzzle.
 Croydon South, Contact, Mrs Ringham, and the Selsdon Village Club.
 Robin Orchard, the Chairman of Contact, proposed a loyal toast to the
 Queen with a glass of bubbly. It was a great way to start off
 the weekend’s celebrations.

 Selsdon Churches Neighbourhood Care    Registered Charity
 1124346Company limited by guarantee Registered in England.
 No. 6582829
CHURCH DIRECTORY                                                                     YOUTH ORGANISATIONS
                                                                                     Guides:     3rd Selsdon: Amanda Osborne, 122 Arundel Ave, CR2 8BH (8657 9917)
PAROCHIAL AND DISTRICT CHURCH COUNCIL                                                Brownies: 3rd Selsdon Dawn Gauntlett, 44 Upper Selsdon Road, (8651 6490)
Chairman:              The Rev’d Ian Brothwood                                                   7th Selsdon Gillian Stotten, 116 Littleheath Road, CR2 7SE (8657 6732)
Secretary:             Mrs P. Cook, (07929 338519)                                                                gillianstotton@blueyonder.co.uk
Treasurer:             Mrs S. Tilley, 101 Viney Bank, Forestdale, (8657 1017)        1st Selsdon & Addington Scout Group:
Director of Music:     Dr T Orchard                                                  Group Scout Leader(GSL) – Jane Janman. 26 Edgecoombe, South Croydon, CR2 8AA
Organist:              Jonathan Musgrave                                                        0208-8657-8313(h) / 07950-311519 (m), janejanman@btinternet.com
Sacristan:             Mrs M Jupp, 17 Hawthorn Crescent, CR2 8PD (8651 0613)         Beaver Scouts : (Wednesdays 18:00-19:00)
Church Secretary:      Mrs. Margaret Smith                                                      Beaver Scout Leader (BSL) – Vacant, please contact GSL
St John’s Community Hall -                                                           Cub Scouts : (Mondays 18:00-19:30)
Hall Bookings:         Tel 07958 682103, e-mail – bookingsstjohns@gmail.com          Cub Scout Leader (CSL) - James Gordon 133 Sussex Road, South Croydon, CR2 7DR
Hall Caretaker:        Mr Colin Perry                                                        020-8681-0134(h) / 07855-735722(m) / newjames81@hotmail.com
Gift Aid Secretary     Mr Michael Lishmund                                           Scouts : (Thursdays 19:30-21:00)
Electoral Roll Officer                                                               Scout Leader (SL) - Ken Jackson Flat 5, Pennine Court, 3 Waddon Way, Croydon,
Lesson Readers:        Mrs Wendy Moulton, 27, Croham Park Ave, CR2 7HN                       CR0 4HU 020-8407-0384(h) / 07789-641112 (m) /
                                                                (8688 4039)                                kennykenken1@aol.com / selsdonscouts@aol.com
Intercessors:          Mrs Sandra Walford, 28 Ingham Road, CR2 8LT (8651 6152)       Scout HQ Bookings
Servers:               Mr P Crocombe, 51 Ballards Way CR2 7JP (8657 0651)            Diana Withers 205 Osward, Courtwood Lane, Forestdale, Croydon, CR0 9HF
Presenters of Bread & Wine: Contact the Churchwardens (see above)                         020 8651 5861 (Home), 07956 419228(Mobile) dianawithers@aol.com
Magazine - Editor:     Mrs H Lishmund, 12 Sylvan Close, (8651 2760)
      Advertising      Mr R.D. Lane, 23 Osprey Gardens, CR2 8TB (8651 3941)

                                                                                              St. John’s is now on line.
      Distribution     Mr & Mrs P. Brice, 4 Crozier Drive, CR2 8DK (8657 5848)
Surveyor:
Safeguarding Officer .Mrs Brenda Cartlich, 62 Upper Selsdon Road, (8657 1196)
                                                                                                 Why not visit us at -
CHURCH ASSOCIATIONS
Sunday Schools:              Leader: Mrs M Turton, (8651 9768)
                             Deputy: Mrs. H. Blackman (8651 6134)
                                                                                         http://www.achurchnearyou.com/
           Pebbles: 3-6yrs. Rocks: 6-10 yrs. and Boulders: 11 plus.
Mother and Toddler Groups Monday & Thursday mornings 9.30 am - 11.30 a.m.                   selsdon-st-john-the-divine/
                                                                (8657 0349)


ADULTS                                                                                   Please advise Magazine Editor of changes to the directory
Mothers’ Union and Open House                                                           FINAL COPY DATE FOR SEPTEMBER OUTLOOK IS –
Enrolling Member:
St John’s Wives: Sec:        Jane Guglielmi 6 Sylvan Close CR2 8DS (8657 6672)
St. John’s Dramatic Society: Mr A. Rapps, 14 Featherbed Lane, Addington, Croydon                  Sunday 5th August (typed or written)
Contact Scheme:
                                                CR0 9AE (8651 1326)
                             Mrs J. Jones, Selsdon Community Centre, 132 Addington
                                                                                                    Thursday 16th August (by e-mail)
                                         Road, CR2 8LA (8651 4944)
Selsdon Centre:              Sheila Childs/Pat Blyghton (8651 1111)                            Copy to Helen Lishmund – 12 Sylvan Close
Church Flowers:              Mrs H Lishmund, 12 Sylvan Close, CR2 8DS (8651 2760)
                                                                                     E-mail - helen.lishmund@blueyonder.co.uk

				
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