Legal Advice - Are You Raising an Entitled Child?

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Legal Advice - Are You Raising an Entitled Child? Powered By Docstoc
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                                              Are You Raising An Entitled Child?
                                                      By Elena Neitlich

   The conversation around child rearing has turned to overindulgence, self-absorption, and
entitlement. Is the generation just now hitting adulthood, overly entitled? Do young people feel that they
can lay claim to whatever they fancy? Are parents raising children who feel that they need not earn
what they want; be it good grades, possessions, skills or jobs? Do children respect authority?

Jeffrey Zaslow wrote an interesting article in the Wall Street Journal titled, "The Entitlement Epidemic:
Who's Really to Blame," in which he discusses this topic and cites some speculative reasons why
children feel so entitled. He notes three possible causes for the twenty-something generation's overly
inflated sense of self: indulgent parenting, consumer culture and the self-esteem movement.

Is it okay for children to be self-absorbed and overly entitled?

In a survey taken of the over 35 set, the response to the above question was a unified and resolute,
no. "It is mind numbingly boring to be with people totally self-absorbed, and working or living with the
entitled is draining and depleting." exclaimed one participant.

So what is going on with parents? Do they see that by overindulging they are causing harm to their
kids? How hard is it for parents to stop overindulging?

Now is a difficult time for parents to be raising children. The introduction of the Internet has allowed
material into homes that the parents and children of just ten years ago did not have to contend with. My
Space, You Tube, and other social networking sites encourage self-absorption. Children spend hours
posting photos and descriptions of their daily minutiae. The me, me, me focus is further encouraged by
television programs, commercials, print ads and movies that sexualize children, promote indiscriminate
spending and value fame without talent. Kids emulate talent-less fame seekers like Paris Hilton.
Children have learned that life is all about them, their looks, their needs, their wants. Clothing stores
sell adult styles, like thongs, belly shirts and make-up to very young children, blurring the line between
adult and child. Society has further compounded the problem by making it taboo for parents to
discipline, teachers to grade and coaches to score for fear of damaging self-esteem. Every kick of a
ball, small line drawing or block tower is lauded as genius in the eyes of today's parents.

How is this current paradigm of value to kids?

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Get into the head of the college freshman with the inflated sense of self. If he was raised in a school
system that refused to give real grades, where teachers got reprimanded by his parents for marking his
papers with red pen, and where he played sports poorly but his parents told him he was a "superstar"
so as not to damage his self-esteem: imagine his shock when he receives his first term paper in
college covered in red pen with a big D at the top.

Imagine the dismay of the twenty-three year old job seeker who expects her entry-level salary to be
that of an experienced expert. Out of college she runs up thousands and thousand of dollars in debt
because she believes that she deserves things that she can't afford.

How does the mother feel who has worked like a dog to give her children everything that she didn't
have as a child, and her children are not satisfied and want more and more and more? Or the father
whose every conversation with his daughter is punctuated repeatedly by her use of the word I?

Parents who overindulge certainly do not set out with the intention of raising entitled children; they are
probably unaware that they are doing it. It is a struggle in our current culture to say no, to deny, to
push, or to discipline. Some parents fear that if they parent incorrectly they could psychologically
damage their children, causing depression, drug abuse, broken relationships, and failure to succeed.
Some may worry that if they discipline, their children will hate them. Others enjoy their kids so much
they would rather just be friends, and there are those who parent out of guilt for reasons such as
divorce or loss.

Successful parents take a proactive role in their children's lives. They set limits around spending and
other requests, and manage children's expectations. They establish strict boundaries around computer
use, especially social networking sites that keep children inwardly focused. These parents create the
child's reality instead of allowing kids to view a skewed reality through different media channels.
Effective parents teach kids that there is a clear difference between children and adults; that by virtue
of education, hard work, age and experience, adults are to be afforded respect. They emphasize the
truth that children are not on a level playing field with their parents, teachers, instructors or coaches.

The time will come quickly for children when, after having paid their dues, they can make all of their
own choices. If parents start early by instilling good values, modeling decent and loving behavior, and
teaching respect, then their children will grow up to make smart choices, develop compassion for
others, and appreciate the deeper meaning of life. The ultimate goal for most parents is to raise
independent and gracious human beings with the ability to make appropriate and smart decisions, and
who shift some of the focus away from themselves and onto others.

Elena Neitlich is the co-owner and CEO of Moms on Edge, LLC. Her company designs, manufactures
and sells children's behavioral toys, games and parenting aids, Elena and her business partner created
Moms on Edge with the mission to promote peace, quiet and good behavior in the home, and to
alleviate the stress that parents can feel as they guide their children through the tough stages of
childhood.  Elena is the proud mother of Noah (5) and Seth (2). She is committed to raising
really great people. For more information about Moms on Edge or to contact Elena please visit Permission granted to publish with no links inserted into article text and
with live links in the author bio.

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                                   Super Moms Secrets For Raising a Child With ADD
                                                                By Blair Critch

Cases of Attention Deficit Disorder, or ADD, have been on the rise in recent years. Doctors are finally
realizing that a true physical disability can be present in both children and adults in order to cause them
to have a reduced attention span and increased hyperactivity. If you're raising a child with ADD, what
are some things you can do to help him cope with this condition, to still get a proper education, to learn
boundaries, and to keep you from pulling out your own hair? There are some things you can remember
when raising a child with ADD that will help with all these issues.

 First, it's important to have a proper diagnosis when raising a child with ADD. Just because your child
is inattentive or has a tremendous amount of energy doesn't mean he necessarily has ADD. If your
child can sit and play video games for half an hour, chances are he doesn't have true ADD. Make sure
you get a diagnosis from a doctor rather than just assuming you know what your child has.

 Setting boundaries is still important when raising a child with ADD. It's tempting to think that since your
child has an illness then he should just be allowed to run amok, but this is a mistake. Everyone needs
to learn self-discipline and control regardless of how difficult it might be, and this is true when raising a
child with ADD. While those boundaries may be more lax than with other children - you have them sit
and do homework for five minutes instead of 30, for instance - you still need boundaries nonetheless.
Talk to your child openly and honestly about these expectations. Tell him he needs to sit still for
another few minutes before he can go play or do anything else. Set boundaries on their free time as
well; this too is vitally important when raising a child with ADD. They may resist some structured
activities or having to sit still but they need to understand that despite how difficult it is, they need to
sometimes buckle down and show some self-control.

 Every parent wants their child to be properly educated and this is true when raising a child with ADD,
even though this presents some special considerations. It helps to break up lessons in shorter bursts of
time rather than expect your child to sit still through hours of the same lesson. Schooling also needs to
be more absorbing for a child with ADD as he will have a hard time allowing himself to be caught up in
the lessons. Using visual aids and hands-on materials is always helpful for any child but even more so
when raising a child with ADD. Getting out of the classroom and taking field trips helps to keep them
involved with the lessons and attentive.

 And as for yourself, remember that your child has a situation that is difficult. It's never easy raising a
child with ADD but you need to show that much more patience every single day. Resist the urge to
blame him for his lack of attention and remind yourself of how difficult it must be for him as well. Give
yourself frequent breaks; walk away and do something else for a few minutes if you feel yourself
getting irritated or impatient. It might also be beneficial to ask for some help; remember that you can't
do everything by yourself. Let your child have some free time to himself where he can learn and
explore on his own rather than thinking you need to structure every minute of every day. And don't
hesitate to ask your doctor for help when raising a child with ADD. While you might hesitate to use
medication, he or she can offer some further suggestions as to dietary changes and changes to your
schedule that can help. Since they are always learning new information about children with ADD every
single day, you may find that you can get some additional help for raising a child with ADD that you
never expected.

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                                             Presented by Daniel Toriola

Married with two children: Jeremiah (4) and Noah (2) Former Kindergarten Teacher Current Home

Home And Garden - Country And Rural Life
Gardening and Birds, Raising Chickens and Goats, Baking Bread.more coming soon!
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                                                Presented by Daniel Toriola

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