The Story of a Single Mom - Who is SHE?
Put the past where it belongs and begin your journey.
Her marriage is over with no financial support. She’s alone to manage and
provide for herself and her children in a system that’s faulty at best. She’s
close to broke with a mortgage coming due. She needs a job.
Having been a stay at home mom with no resume, she’s terrified. She has
no idea of how she will provide for herself and her family or how she can
make her children feel safe and secure.
She knows that fear is her enemy so she stuffs it deep down inside and
forges ahead. First she rents out a room in her home to generate fast
income. Then she makes the couch her new bed so her friend’s mother can
move in; room and board in exchange for babysitting so she can seek
The job search finds her waiting tables on the weekend and doing secretarial
work during the week. The one fear she lives with is that someone will
notice that she has no experience and will discover she is the inadequate
person she believes herself to be.
She’s overwhelmed but to her benefit she doesn’t view herself as a victim.
She may be sad and even experience loneliness and anger, but she’s never
feels sorry for herself. She holds on to hope and faith is her best friend. She
works hard to provide and keep her family together. Her thought, “someway,
somehow, just so it’s legal.”
The next step is probably the most important. She does something that too
many people say only “crazy” people do; she seeks counseling. Counseling
proves her sane and provides her with the support and insight so her self-
confidence can take root. She begins to experience herself in more positive
According to statistics, her family is in poverty, but character wealth was
building for her and her family. Bills are being paid and health insurance and
a clothes dryer are purchased. These purchases are celebrated as though a
new Lamborghini was just purchased.
A suggestion is made she go to college. With her increasing self-confidence
she seizes the idea. But again, the system is not cooperative. Because she
managed to save her home she isn’t eligible for financial aid.
She decides it’s more productive to increase her working hours and pay for
school rather than wallow in her misfortune. She is managing, accomplishing
and her children are safe. Her future takes shape.
Who is SHE? She is me. She is you. She is your daughter or any woman you
may meet along the way. So put the past where it belongs and begin your
Follow These Guidelines
1) Seek support, go to counseling…..you are NOT crazy.
2) Don’t look back…every climber knows not to look down.
3) Test your abilities beyond what you believe you are capable of
4) Never ever see yourself as a victim.
5) Celebrate ALL your success by not comparing them with what others
view as success.
Best of luck to you and your family from all who have succeeded and
redefined who they are and expanded what family means.
Kay Francis is a licensed marriage and family therapist and the creator and author of
the book “Meet the ItsIts”. The book is “edutainment” (education and
entertainment) a stimulating and a fun way to teach children about their emotions,
their thoughts, and their behavior. The book introduces the ItsIts and tells a story
about cooperation and respect for children. Please visit http://itsitville.com/