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					Ek ladka-ladki hotel me gaye...

Waiter: Kya loge ?

Ladki: Sabji waali roti..

Waiter:What??

Ladka: Gaon ki hai,
Pizza maang rahi hai..

English Tcher:Btao ya kon sa tense he?

"Me Nach rha hu,
Tum Nach rhe ho,
Wo Nach rhi he..hm sb Nach rhe he,"

STUDENT:Sir ye
"MUJRA Continous Tense"he. . .

JADU Rajashtan Se Bhagta Huwa Aya Aur DC Office K Bahar AKar RukGya
Bolo Q




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yar Wo Thak Gya Tha na
.Jaan le lo jadu kee

Effect of price rise of
petrol on dowry:
Lrki wali: wase aap shadi
me gold-silvr ke alawe
kaun c car lenge??
Lrke wale: na na in sb
chezo ki tnsn aap na
lo,aapki beti ke leye car
hm khrid denge,
bs aap petrol bhrwate
rehna!!!

Teacher: 1 Din aisa ayega jab prithvi pe pani nahi rahega,
Sab jeev nasht hojaynge
prithvi tabaah hojaygi.
Santa: madamji, us din tution ana hai kya?

Ek admi khade-khade chaabi se apna kaan khujla raha tha

Santa use gaur se dekhte hue bola-
Bhaisahab, aap start nahi ho rahe to dhakka lagau.

Teacher: Tumhare papa kya karte hai?
Golu: Sir wo roz GALIYA khate hai
Teacher: Kya matlab?

Golu: Ji wo
CUSTOMER CARE EXCUTIVE hai.

Thande Thande Pani Se Nahana Chahiye

Thande Thande Pani Se Nahana Chahiye
.
.
ACP-Daya,Hamein Uss Jagah Par Wapas Jaanaa Chahiye !

2 Pandito me ladai ho rahi thi bahut der ho gai-
toh tisre-pandit ne pucha kya hua?
toh 1 pandit bola jab me LEHSUN PYAZ nahi khata toh is sale ne chicken me dala kyu!

Delivery ke waqt
Lady- God Ladka
Man- God Ladki
God- Shut Up
Dont Confuse Me
Varna aisa confuse item bana dunga ke
tum dono roage or wo tali bajayegae!

Baap ne bete ki talahshi li
Cigrate Beer or Gals k No. nikle
Baap ne bahut mara, pucha kb se Chal rha h sab?
Beta (rote hue) – Papa ye jacket to apki hai

Ek Shrabi Ka Court Mein Case Chal Raha Tha.
Judge ne kaha “ORDER ORDER―

Shrabi Replied:
“Ek CHILLI CHICKEN, One ROYAL STAG with SODA―
Jaldi le aao…

Aurangazeb: Senapati batao ki
hum Shivaji ko kyu nahi dhund pa rahe hain??

Senapati: kyoki Maharaj ham Mugal hai Google Nahi

Toofani Raat.

Girl: Come on dear get in to my umbrella.
Boy: Its ok sister thanx &
runs away..

Moral: Moral woral kuch nahi.
Ladki k paon ulte the..

Doctor: aapki bv ab sirf 2 dino ki mehmaan hai, Im so sorry!!
Santa: isme sorry ki koi baat nahi hai dr. sahab, nikal hi lenge ye 2 din jaise taise...

Bf on call- Hey Swtheart Kya Kr Rahi Ho. . ?
.
.
.
Gf Meri Tabiyat Kharaab H Janu,
Sone Ja Rahi Hu or
Tum . ? .
.

Bf- Me Cinema Hall Me Tere Piche Baitha hu
KAMINI . .

Lazy Boy To Father: papa ek glass
paani
de do, .
Father: khud uth k pe lo, .
Boy: please de do na……! .
Father: ab manga to thappar
marunga .
.
.
Boy: thappar marne aao to pani
lete
aana

Kanjoos baap bachchon se:
Jo raat ko khana nahi khayega use 5 Rs dunga.

Bachche 5 Rs le kar so gaye.

Subah baap bola:
Jo 5 Rs dega.. usi ko naashta milega.

Santa- Aaj Mera Beta First Class Me Aaya.

Teacher- Very Good.
Kisme Aaya?




SanTa- RAJDHANI EXPRESS TRAIN Me....

Papa:- Beti bari ho kar kya karo gi?
.
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Beti:- Shaadi.
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Papa:- Galat baat hai,
.
.
.
.
.
abhi se kisi ka bura nahi sochte...

JSK

Ek aadami Bhagwan se -
Aapne bachpan cheen liya, jawani cheen lee, Paisa chhen liya , Ek biwi dee hai bhool
gayee kya ?

Me-I'm gonna study this year
I have to make my parents proud & get better grades..

Internet-Wh did u say ??

Me-Nothing,I love u baby

Boy (politely): hi...

Girl (showing atitude): do I know u?
.
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.
Boy (in cool tone): nahi re pagli. Teri itni aukaat kaha.

Ldka-I LUV U
Ldki-sry main kisi or se pyarkrti hu
Ldka udas ho gya phr achanak bhagne laga or bola-
.
.
.
.
.
Teri mummy ko Btaunga.
Ldki-Ruk Ja kamine i LUV U 2.

Girlfiend: Pee ke Gaari Mat Chalana Bahut
Accident ho Rahe hai
Boyfriend: Thanx Baby u r so Caring..
Friend: Pee ke Gaari Mat chalana bahut
Accident ho Rahe hai
Boy: Apne Baap ko mat sikha Saale.. Hehehehehe, kamine dost,

Boy: Tumhare Pen Me Ink Nahi He Kaya?? Girl: Andhay Ho Kia?? Chal ThO Raha Hai
Boy: Acha ThO Apna Number ThO Likh Kar DikhaO..

Girl : Mujhe Kyu Dekh Rahe Ho? Tumhari Koi Behan Nahi He Kya? . Boy : Hai Isi Liye
To Dekh Raha Hu . Girl : Kyu ? . Boy : Meri Behan Ko BHABHI Chahiye…

Santa apni Gf ki zulfon me aisa khoya,
Ke
Behosh ho gaya...
Jab hosh Aaya to Romantic ho kar pucha
Jaan.!
Nahati kyun nahi ho..?

Bivi gusse me- dekh lena tumko narak me bhe jagah nahi milegi.
Santa-Aree thik hai
waise bhi mai har jagah tere sath aana bi nhi chahta

Sis 2 Bro: Wat R U Givin 2 GrandMa On Hr B'day?
-
Bro: A FootBall!
-
Sis: Bt GrandMa Doesnt Play!
-
Bro: On My B'day She Gave Me Bhagvat Gita..
Uska Kya ? ;-)

Gabbar:Thakur ye mobile humko de de
.
.
Thakur:Dekh yr hath-pair ka mazak thik h,
mobile se majak masti nhi,
facebok chalu h or Bsnti online he. . !

Platform Par Saaman Ke Dher Ke Sath
Baitha Dekh Kuli Ne Puchha-
Madam..Coolie Chahiye?
Mahila-
Nahi Mere PATI Hain Mere Sath.!!

1 Bhakt Ashram Me Jake SwamiG Se-SwamiG Mera Puja Me Mann Nai Lagta! Kya
Karu? Swami:Us Puja Ko Mere Pass Bhejo Shayad Mera Man Lag jae!

				
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