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					SATURDAY COMP. I NOTES—JANUARY 23, 2010

Today’s Menu:          Paper 1 due by midnight—Describing a Person (1 page)
                       send to savannahguz@yahoo.com
                       (Read pages 10-12 “The Senses”; 16-23 “Perception,
                       Language, and Honesty”; 26-32 “The Appropriate Voice”;
                       42-47 “Precision and Feeling”); Available research tools
                       online at Learning Research Center. Look over 415-426 “Primary
                       and Secondary Sources”; Discuss final paper; Time with
                       Grammar

REVIEW: WHAT ELEMENTS DEFINE A SUCCESSFUL PAPER? :
   Appropriate voice—defined by audience
   Tone—defined by audience
   Brevity with precision
   Effective use of adjectives, adverbs, verbs, and nouns
   Effective choice of factual information
   Objectivity
   Judicious appeals to emotion
   Physical or scenic description that use the senses
   Effective Lead Paragraph (or paragraphs) = Imaginative Leads

                                           ****

First, let’s look at how sensory details improve a narrative….
A STUDENT EXAMPLE FROM DRAFTING TO REVISION
(FROM SIGHT TO INSIGHT, 59-68)

                                           ****
Assignment #2: Objective Report (due 2/13/10—2 weeks)
Here’s your chance to begin taking a look at factual details of the subject you plan to
tackle for your final persuasive paper (when you will take a stance on the issue).

Select your issue; begin to look at both sides of the issue

   I.      Start with a Lead Paragraph—descriptive/narrative, cumulative, question,
           5-W, provocative, etc. (we’ll look at these examples today)
           a. By the end of the first or second paragraph, we should know what the
              issue is specifically.
   II.     Determine your audience
           a. Choose an objective voice: Objective formal, objective informal,
              objective first person (we’ll discuss these today)
   III.      Include factual details: include nothing speculative here. This assignment
             should involve no personal commentary (remember, you’re being objective).
   IV.       Keep a running list of your sources: internet, newspaper, etc. Put these
             rough citations (title of the web page and hyperlink or newspaper title, article
             title, date, and page) at the end of your second assignment. Next time, we will
             discuss how to turn these into proper MLA citations (both in-text and the
             works cited list) citations, along with the next major segment: finding a
             thesis.)
   V.        Look at the examples below for reference.
             a. How do they handle their material (we’ll discuss this today and next
                  week).
             b. Is there evidence of emotion or bias that might harm credibility as an
                  authority? (We want to avoid this—even in the persuasive paper.)
             c. Who do they use as their sources? Are they relevant and credible?

Choosing your topic:
What is an issue you feel needs to be dealt with? What makes you angry? Where do you
feel there can be change?

Analyze your subject apart and determine what its component parts are. If, for example,
you are concerned about the widespread irradiation of imported food, think of what
elements are involved in the subject:
       1) Science,
       2) commerce [markets, vegetable packers, transport companies],
       3) health care [ long term effects, if any]
       4) politics [does this subject have political implications?]

          We’ll look at a sample intro to an essay on this subject next week…

Describe the problem to the reader, unemotionally. Present facts, and let
these facts speak for themselves. Remember being concrete? Remember
showing (revealing details) rather than telling (how these details should be
interpreted)? This is exactly what objectivity is. Show people factual details
that others can verify. These details will condemn or support on their own,
without requiring the writer’s commentary.

Q: Does this have to be perfect and contain every detail of information?
A: No, you’ll choose what best defines the subject. Here, you are gaining a
greater understanding of its details in order to build up to taking a
persuasive stance (part of your investigative work will be done by the time
you get to the final paper).
Q: Does it have to have national or international significance?
A: Absolutely not. It can involve a local or regional concern. These are just
as important.

Q: What if I can’t find enough information?
A: No worries. Sniff out as many details as you can, using the newspaper
and the internet (which often contains newspapers). Lay out what details you
can find. One and one-quarter pages are fine. Email Savannah if you’re
coming up with nothing; she will help you track down leads.

Also, let’s take a quick looking at the virtual WVNCC LEARNING
RESOURCE CENTER (cue the LIBRARY PASSWORD PAGE available
for download on my webpage); we’ll explore these in greater depth next
week, too.
                                        ****

THE APPROPRIATE VOICE
MAINTAINING CREDIBILITY = MAINTAINING YOUR PERSUASIVE POWER

   1. Levels of Formality: Write in a style that your audience expects and that fits your
      purpose is key to successful writing.

   2. In-Group Jargon: Jargon refers to specialized language used by groups of like-
      minded individuals. Only use in-group jargon when you are writing for members
      of that group. You should never use jargon for a general audience without first
      explaining it.

   3. Slang and idiomatic expressions: Avoid using slang or idiomatic expressions in
      general academic writing. You should avoid using slang (words like ya'll, yinz,
      cool) or idiomatic expressions ("pull someone's leg", "spill the beans", and
      "something smells fishy") in formal academic writing. These words make your
      writing sound informal, and hence, less credible.

   4. Deceitful language and Euphemisms: Avoid using euphemisms (words that veil
      the truth) and other deceitful language. Be as concrete and clear as possible.

          Pacification = The act of forcefully exerting outside government over a
          previously autonomous people

          Friendly Fire = Being shot at (unintentionally) by your own allies

          Collateral Damage = Destruction of property and killing of innocent civilians
          during war efforts
           Sunshine Units = A term for a power plant that is leaking radiation into the
           surrounding areas

   5. Biased language: Avoid using any biased language including language with a
       racial, ethnic, group, or gender bias or language that is stereotypical. Biased
       language harms your credibility and offends readers. Your connection with
       readers is thereby lost.

                                 ****
    Exercise Page 32: Determining if Formal, Informal, Conversational

                                             ****

IMAGINATIVE LEADS (FROM SIGHT TO INSIGHT , 197-203)

Purpose: to involve the reader directly in some concrete element of the subject while
also directly presenting and underlying idea.
             Catch the reader’s interest and then lead clearly and logically into the
                subject itself.

              The lead also sets the tone and mood and often suggests the organization
               of the essay that follows (as well as what stance the author will take,
               especially if it is commentary or a persuasive paper.

“Shams and delusions are esteemed for soundest truth, while reality is fabulous. If men
[and women] would steadily observe realities only, and not allow themselves to be
deluded, life, to compare it with such things as we know, would be a fairy tale and the
Arabian Nights’ Entertainments.” --Henry David Thoreau, Transcendentalist and author
of Walden

A. DESCRIPTIVE, NARRATIVE (a.k.a. literary lead)
p. 83-88 Bruce Jackson’s Drug Essay Intro (not something you had to read; Sav. will read
aloud in class for reference)
         Sets mood and suggests tone of entire essay to follow—what details tell us
            this?
         Vividly described imagery sparks reader’s interest.
         Employs scene-setting: time, light, character, position of character, 5 senses
         More engaging way to open an informative essay than with dull statistics and
            factual information.

       Descriptive Focus Guidelines—what do I focus on?
       1) If the detail isn’t interesting to you, it won’t be to your reader. Don’t include it.
                Details must have some instructive purpose—you, the authority, are
                instructing your reader about a subject you’ve experienced or researched.
       2) Look again at the subject (as you’ve done in your first essay). Be someone
              else’s eyes and ears—seek out significant details to include (it’s easy to
              look past tiny, but important details.
       3) Use all your senses—listen, taste, touch, smell, look
              Select 2-3 details from longer list that will allow your readers to see
       4) Choose one detail that suggests predominant character, atmosphere, or
              impression of the thing observed
                    flyspecks on water glass = unsanitary restaurant
                    comb in back pocket = vanity of young boy
                    hesitant pause before answering = clue to dishonesty

SAV. READS “FISH STORY” (P. 85 & 86) TO DEMONSTRATE WHAT STUDENT WRITER
COULD HAVE WRITTEN AND WHAT HE DID WRITE.

                  o What are the important details?
                  o Evidence of providing concrete factual details.

B. PROVOCATIVE LEAD—grabs the reader’s attention
p. 198: “The feminist movement was a spectacular failure. Instead of freeing women to
find the best qualities in themselves, it condemned them to adopt the very worst qualities
in men.”

       CAUTION: be careful of cheesing your reader off--once you have the reader’s
       attention, hold it with a supporting statement that bears facts valid to the
       argument; do not break communication with biased statements that damage
       credibility.

C. CONTRAST/CONFLICT LEAD
      p. 199: Foreword to Brave New World Revisited by Aldous Huxley
      His arrangement in the lead: ½ on what proved him right; ½ on what proved him
      wrong also suggests the structure of the essay itself. First, you will discuss one
      side of the coin, then the other.

       “It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.”
                                           -- A Tale of Two Cities, Charles Dickens

D. QUESTION LEAD
       Avoid dead-end, rhetorical or clichéd questions like ‘What is the meaning of
         life?’ That’s not something you can definitely answer, and your reader knows
         that.
       The question must stimulate interest and further subject debate.

          This lead suggests the essay’s structure: by the end of the essay, you will
           provide the answer.
E. THE CUMULATIVE INTEREST LEAD
      p. 200: Gun control legislation lead; the sentence fragments are used for effect.
               The author presents a series of objective facts
               Each fact is selected for its impact
               The conclusion of the paper is implied….the reader should interpret
                your ideological path based on the pile-up of facts presented.

F. 5-W LEAD: WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, WHY
     Used in circumstances where the reader wants pertinent information
immediately.
     For example: newspaper reports.

       In Baltimorewhere last weekwhen, Sherry McCrystalwho, fifteen, broke the
       world’s chewing gum recordwhat just to win a 10-cent betwhy.

       In the book The Bell Jarwhere, first published in 1963when, Sylvia
       Plathwho recounts the events of a young girl’s 20th year, her attempted
       suicide and struggle to avoid madnesswhat.*

       *(‘Why’ does not appear here, but will probably be something the
       writer gets to later, since Plath’s The Bell Jar is a semi-
       autobiographical book.)




                       Stories arise out of CONFLICT
                 (two or more opposing forces meet head on).
                                          OR
                          Stories arise out of CHANGE
                (change causes discomfort and sometimes, conflict)




EX #1: Objective Formal Report

Hard Times Lead To Dramatic Rise In Bankruptcies
by Wendy Kaufman, January 21, 2010
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=122779932

(first, let’s use a Works Cited format to document use of this story, employing MLA
documentation….Let’s turn to our Easy Writer….)

LEAD (what kind is this?): Personal bankruptcies rose more than 30 percent what last
year when, with more than 1.4 million protection filings (further clarification of) what. Many
middle-class who Americanswho/where sought relief after losing jobs, seeing their businesses
fail or facing foreclosure.why
In 2005, Congress overhauled the nation's bankruptcy laws with the intention of limiting
the ability of many individuals to get rid of their debt — especially through the use of
Chapter 7 of the bankruptcy code. But in this faltering economy, the law's impact has
been limited.
In fact, far more people are now using Chapter 7 — in which assets are sold to pay off
debts and what can't be paid is absolved — instead of Chapter 13. In a Chapter 13
bankruptcy filing, an individual signs up for a time-limited repayment plan and, in return,
gets to keep certain assets. Creditors often get more money in Chapter 13 filings.
In Search Of A Fresh Start
Bankruptcy is never pretty, but it does provide a fresh start for individuals like Linda
Frakes, who lives in the Atlanta metro area. (writer includes human interest—what
does it look like on individual level?)
By the time Frakes sought help from a bankruptcy lawyer, she owed about $150,000 on
her credit cards. And the former corporate manager turned entrepreneur was getting
deeper and deeper in debt. She tried to work out a repayment plan with a credit
counseling agency, but things didn't go smoothly, and bankruptcy began to feel like the
only way out.
"It wasn't something I ever, ever thought I would consider let alone actually follow
through with," Frakes says. "It seemed like the scarlet letter to me."
The single mother in her 50s, who had been living an upper-middle-class life, was both
terrified and depressed.
"Up until that point in my life I really had defined myself by how successful I was,"
Frakes says. It was really difficult to come to the realization that she had gotten herself
into a very difficult situation. "To me the equation was I wasn't as smart as I thought I
was."
Using Credit To Stay Afloat
Frakes owned several successful businesses. But market conditions changed and she
couldn't sell them as she had planned. As those in debt often do, she resorted to credit
cards to keep herself and her businesses afloat. Then, the other shoe dropped — someone
who owed her a lot of money as part of a business deal quit paying.
Direct Quotes: "What was left of the income I was living off of disappeared," Frakes
says. "Now I was scrounging just to pay daily living expenses and that's when I became
trapped."
Frakes has chronicled her financial journey, in a self-published paperback, How To Go
Broke with Style: A User's Guide to Filing (or Avoiding) Bankruptcy with Humor & Grit!
The Origin Of Personal Bankruptcies
Business failures are often at the heart of personal bankruptcies. So are serious illnesses,
divorce, a death in the family and, increasingly, the loss of a job.
Some who choose to file for personal bankruptcy may be deadbeats or individuals who
deliberately run up debts that they have no intention of paying. Use of subject authority
quotes: But Seattle bankruptcy lawyer Gloria Nagler says the vast majority of people
who seek protection don't fall into either category: "Believe me, people do not come into
my office and say, 'Whoopie, I get to file bankruptcy.' "
Rather, she says, many people considering filing are often so embarrassed that they can't
even look her in the eye.
"I quickly let them know it's not a moral failing," Nagler says. "My God, the economy is
falling apart all around us. So many people are filing bankruptcy — I have twice the
business. I can't even return all my calls." Other lawyers across the country report the
same thing.
So many people have lost their jobs, says John Farver, another Seattle area
bankruptcy lawyer, that they can no longer afford what they easily could have six
months ago. "They need their own personal bailout," he says. "Just like the fat cats on
Wall Street."

                                         ****

EX #2: Objective Informal Reporting

New York Times
It’s the Economy, Girlfriend by RAVI SOMAIYA
Tuesday, January 27, 2009

(again, let’s use a Works Cited format to document use of this story, employing MLA
documentation….Let’s turn to our Easy Writer….and also, the ever delightful
www.citationmachine.net)

LEAD, first example and glimpse of what story is about: The economic crisis came
home to 27-year-old Megan Petrus early last year when her boyfriend of eight months, a
derivatives trader for a major bank, proved to be more concerned about helping a laid-off
colleague than comforting Ms. Petrus after her father had a heart attack.

(second example) For Christine Cameron, the recession became real when the financial
analyst she had been dating for about a year would get drunk and disappear while they
were out together, then accuse her the next day of being the one who had absconded.

(third example) Dawn Spinner Davis, 26, a beauty writer, said the downward-trending
graphs began to make sense when the man she married on Nov. 1, a 28-year-old private
wealth manager, stopped playing golf, once his passion. “One of his best friends told me
that my job is now to keep him calm and keep him from dying at the age of 35,” Ms.
Davis said. “It’s not what I signed up for.” (OBJECTIVITY: her quote tells us a lot of
about her, no? Because the author offers no obvious commentary, it’s objective. She
presents a portrait of herself—and the group as a whole--with her own words.
Granted, her quote may have been taken out of a larger contextual conversation,
making her sound insensitive.)
They shared their sad stories the other night at an informal gathering of Dating a Banker
Anonymous, a support group founded in November to help women cope with the
inevitable relationship fallout from, say, the collapse of Lehman Brothers or the Dow’s
shedding 777 points in a single day, as it did on Sept. 29. (Information about the
CAUSE of their woe)

In addition to meeting once or twice weekly for brunch or drinks at a bar or restaurant,
the group has a blog, billed as “free from the scrutiny of feminists,” that invites women to
join “if your monthly Bergdorf’s allowance has been halved and bottle service has all but
disappeared from your life.” (information about their outlet)

Theirs is not the typical 12-step program. (Why this is an informal report.)

Step 1: Slip into a dress and heels. Step 2: Sip a cocktail and wait your turn to talk. Step
3: Pour your heart out. Repeat as needed.

About 30 women, generally in their mid- to late-20s, regularly post to the Web site or
attend meetings.

“We do make light of everything on the blog and it’s very tongue in cheek,” said Laney
Crowell, 27, who parted ways with a corporate real estate investor last month after a
tumultuous relationship. “But it all stems out of really serious and heartfelt situations.”

When she introduces other Wall Street widows to the group, Ms. Crowell added, “They
call their friends and say, ‘You’re not going to believe what I just read. It’s going to make
you feel so much better.’ ”

Once it was seen as a blessing in certain circles to have a wealthy, powerful partner who
would leave you alone with the credit card while he was busy brokering deals. Now,
many Wall Street wives, girlfriends and, increasingly, exes, are living the curse of
cutbacks in nanny hours and reservations at Masa or Megu. And that credit card?
Canceled.

Use of subject authority quotes: Raoul Felder, the Manhattan divorce lawyer, said
that cases involving financiers always stack up as the economy starts to slip, because
layoffs and shrinking bonuses place stress on relationships — and, he said, because
“there aren’t funds or time for mistresses any more.”

(One such mistress wrote on the blog that when she pouted about not having been taken
on a trip lately, her married man explained that with money so tight, his wife had taken to
checking up on his accounts.)

Use of subject authority quotes: Harriet Pappenheim, a psychotherapist at Park
Avenue Relationship Consultants who wrote “For Richer or Poorer,” a 2006 book
on money in marriage, said that the repercussions could be acute for Wall Street
wunderkinds who define their identities through their job titles and the size of their
bonuses.

“It’s a big blow to their egos and to their self-esteem,” she said of the endless stream of
economic bad news, “and they may take it out on their partners and children.”

Ms. Petrus, a lawyer, and Ms. Crowell, who works for a fashion Web site, started the
support group when they realized that they were facing similar problems in their
relationships with bankers last fall.

“We put two and two together and figured out that it was the economy, not us,” Ms.
Petrus recalled at a recent meeting in the lobby bar of the Bowery Hotel. “When guys in
banking are going through this, they can’t handle a relationship.”(She and her boyfriend
split up last year; he declined to discuss it.)

Many of the women said that as the economic crisis struck last fall, they began tracking
the markets during the day to predict the moods that the men they loved might be in later.
On big news days, like when the first proposed government bailout failed in Congress, or
when Lehman went belly-up, they knew that plans to see their partners would be put off.

“I was like, ‘O.K. I signed up for that, it’s fine,’ “ said Ms. Cameron. “But all of a
sudden,” she said, her boyfriend “couldn’t focus. If he stayed over he’d be up at some
random hour checking his BlackBerry, Bloomberg and CNBC.”

Ms. Cameron said that she and her boyfriend broke up at the end of November but that
they still saw each other occasionally.

…. (some of the article omitted here for sake of space)….

(OBJECTIVITY: looking at the opposite side; fairness) Brandon Davis, Ms. Spinner
Davis’s husband of almost three months, acknowledged in a recent telephone interview
that his new job was “certainly more stressful and there’s certainly more pressure”
because of the economy, but disagreed that such stresses had affected his home life. He
did not want to talk about golf.

Some women in the group said the men in their lives had gone from being aloof and
unattainable to unattractively needy and clinging. Others complained of being ignored —
one, who called herself A.P., wrote on the blog that three weeks had passed without her
boyfriend “asking a single question” about her life. Another wrote, fearfully, that her
beau had told her to make a list of their favorite New York restaurants before the bad
market forced a move to the Midwest.

“Next time you are stressing over some finance guy, remember that he is just a math-club
nerd,” one woman wrote after recounting a breakup. “This recession just bought everyone
an extra two years of the single life.”
(OBJECTIVITY: looking at the opposite side; fairness) Another, though, seemed
chagrined, after her boyfriend told her to “grow up” and stop “complaining about
vacations and dinner” since he had to “fire 20 people by the end of the week.”

…. (some of the article omitted here for sake of space)….

Despite the seemingly endless stream of disparaging remarks and shaking heads, some of
the appeal of dating a banker remains.

“It’s not even about a $200 dinner,” Ms. Petrus said. “It’s that he’s an alpha male, he’s
aggressive, he’s a go-getter, he doesn’t take no for an answer, he’s confident, people
respect him and that creates the whole mystique of who he is.”

EX #3: Objective First Person
“Inside Maximum Security”
from LisaLing.com

LEAD, descriptive/cumulative: As you first enter the endless series of metal gates and
security checks at California State Prison, Sacramento (SAC), there are a few rules. You
do not wear blue--that's for inmates. You do not carry a cell phone--that's a security risk.
And if you are taken hostage, your freedom will not be negotiated if it means releasing a
prisoner.

(details of inside life) This was our introduction to SAC-a level 4, maximum-security
men's prison near Sacramento, California. The facility houses close to 3,500 men, locked
up for the most heinous crimes-murder, rape, child molestation, assault... the list goes on.
Inside this fortress, and others like it, exist the most extreme of environments-a place
where society's rules don't apply and where everything is all about respect. Inmates live
by a code of silence imposed on them by other inmates. It's a dangerous and secretive
world to which even prison officials aren't privy.

(what’s at issue: conflict) Though the job of prison officials is to control the facility,
they are the first to admit that it's the inmates who really control things.

I have a fascination with the corrections system in America. BACKGROUND: There are
an estimated 2 million people incarcerated in the U.S.-that's more than anywhere else in
the industrialized world. From past stories and law enforcement contacts I had learned
that within U.S. prisons there is a covert culture that has evolved behind bars. I wanted to
understand what goes on within prison walls and learn about this secret world that the
inmates don't acknowledge publicly.

Our cameras were allowed exclusive and unprecedented access-for one month nowhere
in the prison was off-limits.
The bizarre prison culture was more violent and terrifying than anything I had ever
expected. You always say you never want to end up in prison-this experience really
revealed why. There's no such thing as just going in and doing your time. There is a
whole language, economy, and system of justice that all the inmates must know. In prison
you go in and you have to fight to defend yourself. You always have to maintain respect
for yourself and others and project a strong image.

We quickly learned that prison life revolves around race. If you don't ally with people
who share your skin color, you are targeted for assault. If you are white, even if you are
Jewish, you need to align with the Aryan brotherhood or the Nazi Lowriders or one these
white power groups. One of the weirdest rules is that white inmates don't let each other
drink out of a drinking fountain after a black person has drunk out of it.

If a black inmate goes to use the latrines and it's in the Hispanic area, he must ask
permission. They walk in pairs and one stands guard while the other uses the facilities.
Many rival Hispanic gangs will become allies once they enter prison. Currently the white
and Hispanic inmates are amicable, but alliances change frequently.

Just setting foot in another race's territory without permission is grounds for attack. If a
white inmate enters an area belonging to a black gang, chaos often ensues. In fact, while
we were in the prison, the alarm would go off every so often signaling a fight or a riot
had broken out. That happens pretty much everyday. You never know what to expect.
When everything seems the calmest, that's when things break out.

The leaders of the various racial groups are called "shot-callers," but even getting inmates
to admit that they exist is almost impossible. The identity of leaders of all the different
gangs and factions must be protected at all costs.

When we explained to the inmates that we were trying to report a story on prison culture,
most of them refused to talk. The inmates are afraid-they know that if they are seen on
camera revealing any secrets they could be killed immediately. People die in prison all
the time. They are murdered and stabbed and attacked every day. During the month we
spent at SAC there were several deaths.

Although some people agreed to speak to us off camera, much of what we learned came
from inmates who were in protective custody (PC). These inmates are considered "rats"
by the rest of the prisoners and will never be able to return to the general population.
Because they have revealed the secrets of the system, they will remain in PC until they
are released or until they die. PC inmates share a facility with the most loathed prisoners:
child molesters and rapists. All inmates in the primary facility have been instructed to kill
a PC individual if ever their paths cross.

Even though the inmates were tightlipped about the culture, system, and the rules, when
you mention that kids will see this, more of them were inclined to speak. As one inmate
said "there ain't nothing cool about this place."
In SAC, some people are serving life sentences and so there is a "nothing to lose" kind of
attitude. When you get put into a prison for armed robbery, and you are forced to mix
with people who are in for multiple homicides, and when every single person around you
has made a career out of crime, you are inevitably going to learn to commit more crimes
and exactly how to do it. It makes you wonder whether confining these groups together is
the best solution.

                                         ****
                                GRAMMAR TIME!

Revising sentences with misplaced modifiers
Revise each of the following sentences by moving any misplaced modifiers so that they
clearly modify the words they are intended to. You may have to change grammatical
structures for some sentences. Example:

Elderly people and students live in the neighborhood <full of identical tract houses>
surrounding the university., which is full of identical tract houses.

   1) Doctors recommend a new test for cancer, which is painless.

   2) The tenor captivated the entire audience singing with verve.

   3) I went through the process of taxiing and taking off in my mind.

   4) The city approximately spent twelve million dollars on the new stadium.

   5) Am I the only person who cares about modifiers in sentences that are misplaced?

   6) On the day in question, the patient was not normally able to breathe.

   7) Refusing to die at the end of the play, the audience stared in amazement at the
      actor playing Hamlet.

   8) The clothes were full of holes that I was giving away.

   9) Revolving out of control, the maintenance worker shut down the turbine.

   10) A wailing baby was quickly kissed by the candidate with a soggy diaper.



13.1 Eliminating Sentence Fragments
Revise each of the following fragments, either by combining fragments with
independent clauses or by rewriting them as a separate sentences. (See EasyWriter,
pp. 84-86.) Example:
   Zoe looked close to tears. Standing with her head bowed.

   Standing with her head bowed, Zoe looked close to tears.

   Zoe looked close to tears. She was standing with her head bowed.

1. Wollstonecraft believed in universal public education. Also, in education that
   forms the heart and strengthens the body.

2. Her father pulled strings to get her the job. Later regretting his actions.


3. Organized crime has been able to attract graduates just as big business has. With
   good pay and the best equipment money can buy.

4. Trying to carry a portfolio, art box, illustration boards, and drawing pads. I must
   have looked ridiculous.


5. The president promoted one tax change. A reduction in the capital gains tax.

6. Connie picked up the cat and started playing with it. It scratched her neck. With
   its sharp little claws.

7. The climbers had two choices. To go over a four-hundred-foot cliff or to turn
   back. They decided to make the attempt.

8. The region has dry, sandy soil. Blown into strange formations by the ver-rpesent
   wind.

9. The appeal of this film is obvious. Its enthusiastic embrace of sex and violence.

10. To feel useful. Many older Americans want nothing more than that.

                             END for Today (whew!)

				
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