Composition 151

							Composition 151

     Week Two
Mark Andel, Instructor
           Writer’s Workshop
•   Building the Essay
•   Gathering Supporting Detail
•   Adding Sensory Detail
•   Similes and Metaphors

• TEXT REVIEW
    – Personal Narrative
Chapter 11 – Description/Reflection

READINGS: (P. 165)
 Keys for Success (P. 166)
    Recall precise details
    Probe the topic
    Reveal what you find

“The Stream in the Ravine” (P. 167)
           Building Blocks
• Building the Essay – “Personal Reflection”

  – Thesis Statement
  – Abstract
  – Outline
           Collecting Data
• “Collecting” Raw Materials in Order to
  Build a Solid Essay
• “Three Little Pigs” Analogy
• How Sturdy Are Your Building Blocks?
  – Powerful, impact-producing event
  – Memory of the event
  – Shared experience? (Universal)
      SUBJECT: Halloween
• EXAMPLE: “Halloween”
  – REFLECTION: What do remember about a
    particular Halloween?
  – A FORMATIVE event:
    • Vandalism (Or resisting the temptation to
      vandalize something)
    • An intended “harmless prank” gone bad
    • A ROLE PLAYING adventure: Getting into
      character and getting out of yourself
       Tapping Your Resources
• Start with your Strongest, Most Durable Memory
  of a Halloween that You Remember as Standing
  Out in Your Mind
  –   WHO was with you?
  –   WHAT happened?
  –   WHEN did it occur?
  –   WHERE was it?
  –   WHY did it happen that way?
  –   HOW did it impact you?
                 Example
• WHO: Friends in college
• WHAT: Decided to play a practical joke on a
  devout Divinity major involving a casket
• WHEN: On All Hallow’s Eve
• WHERE: The College Theater and Dorm Room
• WHY: For a laugh
• HOW: Impact: Turned out to be not so funny
Beginnings


• CHARACTERS: (WHO)
  – Victim: An obnoxious, overly critical GI bill student
  – Conspirators: Self and three friends: one a wild, free-
    spirit, devil-may-care guy who hatched the idea
    (George Clooney with long hair); one a coffee-
    guzzling pathological liar; one a semi-dangerous
    troublemaker who had set up a cocktail lounge in his
    dormitory room and who had already been disciplined
    by the resident advisor for shooting bottle rockets into
    the ladies dormitory.
Beginnings


• WHAT: Bring a coffin in from the theater
  storage shed to put in student’s room.
  When he comes back to the room in the
  middle of the night, the conspirators
  delight in his horror at seeing a coffin next
  to his bed, with fake skeleton inside.
Beginnings


• WHEN: The coffin would be moved and
  set up early in the evening, so that all the
  details could be attended to and we could
  attend the same party the victim was
  attending in order to follow him back for
  “the big moment.”
Beginnings


• WHERE: Locations include the theater
  prop shed, the party, and the victim’s dorm
  room.
Beginnings



• WHY: Laughs
Outcome



• Big ice chunk stuck to bottom of coffin melts
• Water leaks out all over victim’s room and into
  the dorm hallway
• Personal belongings “ruined”
• Resident Advisor waiting with janitor
Outcome



• Practical joke backfires
• Conspirator’s are “scared” when threatened
  with disciplinary measures
• REFLECTION: Dumb ideas can wind up
  hurting people
        Halloween Writing
• Smashing Pumpkins and Other
  Halloween Idiocy
• Trimming the Halloween Tree
   Halloween – Sensory Detail
IN-CLASS ASSIGMENT. (15 minutes)
Write a five-sentence paragraph about
  Halloween. Each sentence should contain a
  reference to each one of the senses:
        TOUCH, SMELL, TASTE,
            HEARING, SIGHT
(You may use any order you wish.)
BONUS: Add the “Sixth Sense.”
The Abandoned House
       The Abandoned House
•   SIGHT:
•   SOUND:
•   TOUCH:
•   TASTE:
•   SMELL:
                    Simile
• Simile
  (n.) A word or phrase by which anything is
  likened, in one or more of its aspects, to
  something else; a similitude; a poetical or
  imaginative comparison.

• A “like” or “as” comparison.

• “The Johnny Midnight suit lay across the bed like
  a murdered bridegroom.”
Joyce Cary – The Horse’s Mouth
                                 Simile
Joyce Cary – The Horse’s Mouth
                                 Simile
                   Metaphor
• Metaphor
  (n.) The transference of the relation between
  one set of objects to another set for the
  purpose of brief explanation; a compressed
  simile; e. g., the ship plows the sea.

• “Why it’s a lion I married!”
   – Sir Thomas More in “A Man for All Seasons”
                                Metaphor
•   What is a metaphor?
•   The term metaphor meant in Greek "carry something across" or "transfer," which
    suggests many of the more elaborate definitions below: a comparison between two
    things, based on resemblance or similarity, without using "like" or "as"
      – most dictionaries and textbooks
•   the act of giving a thing a name that belongs to something else
      – Aristotle
•   the transferring of things and words from their proper signification to an improper
    similitude for the sake of beauty, necessity, polish, or emphasis
      – Diomedes
•   a device for seeing something in terms of something else
      – Kenneth Burke
•   understanding and experiencing one thing in terms of another
      – John Searle
•   a simile contracted to its smallest dimensions
      – Joseph Priestly
           Why use metaphors?
• They are more efficient and economical than
  ordinary language; they give maximum meaning
  with a minimum of words. By writing "my dorm is a
  prison," you suggest to your readers that you feel as
  though you were placed in solitary, you are fed lousy
  food, you are deprived of all of life's great pleasures,
  your room is poorly lit and cramped--and a hundred
  other things, that, if you tried to say them all, would
  probably take several pages.
              Metaphor Examples
• Scratching at the window with claws of pine, the wind wants in.
    – Imogene Bolls, "Coyote Wind"
• What a thrill--my thumb instead of an onion. The top quite gone
  except for a sort of hinge of skin....A celebration this is. Out of a gap
  a million soldiers run, redcoats every one.
    – Sylvia Plath, "Cut"
• The clouds were low and hairy in the skies, like locks blown forward
  in the gleam of eyes.
    – Robert Frost, "Once by the Pacific"
• Little boys lie still, awake wondering, wondering delicate little boxes
  of dust.
    – James Wright, "The Undermining of the Defense Economy"
Metaphor Example
Writing the Personal Narrative
         or Reflection
Personal Reflection Wrap-Up
Personal Reflection Wrap-Up
Personal Reflection Wrap-Up
Personal Reflection Wrap-Up
Personal Reflection Wrap-Up
                     Guidelines
• Text, P. 178
   –   Select a Topic
   –   Get the Big Picture
   –   Get Organized
   –   Write Draft
   –   Review and Revise
   –   Test it out
   –   Get feedback
   –   Edit and proofread
   –   “Publish” it –share with friends, family, subject
       Chapter 4 – “Drafting”
• Writing the First Draft (P. 56)
• Basic Structure (P. 57)
  – Opening (Catchy, engaging)
  – Middle (Supportive, coherent, intelligible)
  – Ending (Restate the opening, emphasize point)
         Chapter 4 – “Drafting”
• OPENING –p. 58
• Engage the Reader
  –   Mention a surprise about the topic
  –   Ask a tough question
  –   Bring up a great quote
  –   Tell a little story (anecdote)
  –   Tease the rest of the story – offer a taste

 Arrange Supporting Details – p. 62-65
        Chapter 4 – “Drafting”
• THE MIDDLE – p. 60
  –   Advance Thesis
  –   Test ideas – answer questions
  –   Support main points, but keep focus
  –   Build solid foundation, use good transitions
  –   Layer detail, amplify with clarifications
      Chapter 4 – “Drafting”
• ENDING YOUR DRAFT – p. 66
  – Restate main point – (rephrase)
  – Urge the reader to action (think “purpose”)
    Chapter 5 – “Revising” (P. 71)
•   When you finish, let it sit and “ripen”
•   Go back to it with fresh eyes
•   Act like someone else wrote it
•   Does it make sense?
•   Do you still like it?
•   What would you change?
        Chapter 5 – “Revising”
• Check your thesis, ideas, theme (p. 74)
  –   Does it make sense?
  –   Does it cohere?
  –   Is it well organized?
  –   Are there enough details?
  –   How are the transitions?
       • Transitions and linking words on page 85
      Chapter 5 – “Revising”
• Do your ideas “flow?” (p. 76)
• Is your conclusion “sketchy” or
  “complete?” (Does the bell ring?)
• Is the voice “sincere?” (no wax)
• Are you committed to the topic?
• Have you demonstrated this?
       Chapter 5 – “Revising”
• Is the structure sound?
• Is it made of bricks to withstand the test of
  time and keep the Big Bad Wolves of
  literary criticism away?
• Is there a distinct purpose?(p. 81)
• Have you stayed on topic? (p. 84)
• Have you included specific detail? (p. 86)