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Why not both?
 By: Lisa Parker and Erica Waitzmann
       Our Classroom Language
•   How sad.
•   This has got to be so hard.
•   Oh no.
•   This stinks.
•   What a bummer.
        Our Classroom Language
• I don’t want YOU to be in trouble.
• I don’t want to punish you. I just want to help you look at
  yourself, so you can change.
• When you do something to get yourself in trouble, I will let you
• I know this is hard.
• It is hard for me when I have to look at myself.
• I know this is tough.
• It is O.K. that you are having this problem and bringing it to
• It is O.K. to have a problem. It is not okay to stay stuck with it.
  It is not O.K. for this problem to keep happening all of the time.
    Our Classroom Language (cont)
•   When we have problems, it is not O.K. to stay stuck in them.
•   You do not have to stay stuck with this problem.
•   You don’t have to keep being in trouble.
•   If you are willing to let us help you, there is hope that WE can
    solve the problem.
•   Because it is hard to look at ourselves and because it is very
    hard to change, it is up to adults to help you.
•   It is our job to help you with your problems.
•   You don’t have to change all at once.
•   You don’t have to do it all alone.
•   We want you to have success in school.
•   If you choose to let us help you, you will be able to change.
• Empathy makes the child’s poor decision the “bad guy”
  while keeping the adult the “good guy”
• The child has a harder time blaming the adult for the
• This forces the student to look inside and learn from
  the consequence.
• Empathy reduces the child going for revenge or
  deciding to avoid the adult.
We accomplish this through
      Responsibility and
      Accountability to
         Children in
           Ways to Give Grace
•   Give clear expectations   • Empathize
•   Set limits                • Encourage
•   Be a great role model     • Be consistent
•   Maintain high standards   • Respect
•   Believe                   • Provide meaningful
•   Listen                      consequences
•   Validate Feelings         • Give eye contact
•   Give Support              • Give purpose
    Preventative Intervention
• Give the “evil eye”
• Walk toward the student while teaching.
• Stand close to the student and continue to teach.
• Establish eye contact and slightly shake your head,
  indicating, “No.”
• While teaching, gently place your hand on the
  student’s shoulder.
• Stop briefly and whisper something like, “Can you
  save that for later?”
Preventative Intervention (cont’d)
 • Change the student’s location within the classroom.
 • Whisper something like, “That behavior is fine for
   after school.”
 • Use an I-message (“I find it hard to teach when you
   do that. Thanks for stopping.”)
 • Use an enforceable statement (“I allow students to
   stay with the group when they are not causing a
 • Provide choices (“Are you going to be able to stop
   that and stay? Or will you need to leave for a
 • Ask the student to leave for a brief “recovery
Preventative Intervention (cont’d)
 • Require the student to complete a problem-solving
   form during recovery, before he/she can return to
   the group.
 • Excuse the student to the office for a short “cooling
   off” period. No counseling or discussion takes place
   with the student during this period.
 • Give the student an appointment to talk with you
   about the problem.
 • Restrict the student from the area of his/her
   infraction until a new plan of action is identified and
   written by the student.
 • Restrict the student from the area of his/her
   infraction until you feel that another try is in order.
   The student is allowed to be in this area only when
   they are not causing a problem.

Violence begins with eye rolling and gesturing .
         Interpret…DON’T explain !
Four Steps to Provide What Kids
• Early Intervention
  -When: stop it when I see it, not when I feel it
• Caring Confrontation
  -How: let kids know you’re on their side, but in
• Protective Plan
  -What: Restrictive plans and increase support
• Outlast the Acting Out
  -Continuum of support
         Classroom Expectations
• Feel free to do anything that does not cause a
  problem for anyone else.
• I teach when there are no distractions or other
• I listen to students who raise their hand.
• I listen to one person at a time.
• Please treat me with the same respect I treat you.
• If someone causes a problem, I will do something.
• What I do will depend on what happened and what the
  person is willing to do to solve the problem.
Classroom Expectations (cont’d)
•   I allow students to remain in my classroom as
    long as they do not cause a problem for
    anyone else.
•   If they cause a problem, I will ask them to fix
•   If they can’t or will not fix it, I will do
•   What I do will depend on the unique situation.
Handling Problems = Going Brain Dead
 Step one: Go brain dead!     Step two: Softly repeat
• Do not think about what       a single Love and Logic
  the child is saying. If               one-liner
  you think about it too     • Don’t get creative or
  much you will be             fancy with these one-
  tempted to reason with       liners. Just repeat the
  the student. If you          same things.
  reason with the student,
  it’s likely the student
  will trap you with your
  own words.
    Going Brain Dead: One Liners
•   I like (respect) you too much to argue.
•   I know.
•   Thanks for sharing.
•   Probably so.
•   Nice try.
•   That’s an option.
•   I don’t know. What do you think?
•   I bet it feels that way.
                 Sample Dialogue
•   Student: This is stupid. Why do I have to do this?
•   Teacher: (With soft sincerity) I respect you too much to argue.
•   Student: But why?
•   Teacher: I respect you too much to argue.
•   Student: If you respected me, you wouldn’t make me do this
    stupid stuff.
•   Teacher: I respect you too much to argue.
•   Student: Well, I’m telling my dad. He’s a lawyer.
•   Teacher: (Walking away) I respect you too much to argue.
•   Student: Is that all you can say?
•   Teacher: (Still walking away) Yes, and I respect you too much to
Problem-Solving: 5-Step Method

           1. Laying the Groundwork
        2. Approaching an Upset Child
       3. Identifying Problem Behaviors
   4. Understanding and Managing Feelings
        5. Developing a Plan for Change
        Problem-Solving Model
• Adults intervene when a child’s behavior interferes with
  learning, threatens another person through disrespectful
  attitudes and actions, or is destructive to himself or
• A child who misbehaves faces the natural and logical
  consequences of his behavior.
• Adults help the troubled child face his problems,
  understand his strong feelings, and take responsibility for
  his behavior.
• Adults problem solve with the child to determine
  appropriate ways to behave when experiencing strong
• Adults support the child as he works through the difficult
  process of confronting, owning, taking responsibility for
  and changing behaviors.
       Primary Goals of Recovery
• Goal #1: The teacher                                           Recovery is NOT
  can teach.                                                         intended to:
• Goal # 2: Other                                            • Punish or embarrass the
  students can learn.                                          student.
    Move                                 Send a note with   • Solve all of the
backwards and
                                          another student
                                           explaining the      student’s problems.
                                                             • Serve as an excuse for
    Not
 necessarily              Home
                    Recovery room at                           not trying to help the
                  An alcove outside the
                    principal’s office

                A seat in another classroom

           A different seat in the same classroom
 For Recovery schools should...

• Notify parents so they can participate as much as
  possible in evaluation and intervention planning.
• Have input from many sources (child’s parents,
  teachers, counselor, and other professionals) to
  develop, follow, and monitor an intervention plan that
  meets the child’s unique needs.
• Carefully document all communications with parents,
  meetings, positive interventions, progress towards
  goals, behavioral outburst, etc.
Placement Options

            Classroom               Safe
               Seat                 Seat

  Principal’s                              Buddy

• Directed, quick time-outs to help students refocus
  and get back on track…
• Put their head down on their desk
• Hide their eyes
• Stop, think, and visualize what it needs to look like
  when they put their head up
• Thumbs up signal to let the teacher know they are
  ready to participate appropriately
• Wait to be called upon to demonstrate appropriate
    Safe Seat and Think Sheets
           Safe Seat                        Think Sheets
•   Desk set off to the side      •   Tool to determine if
    or back of the room               students are ready to look
•   Think Sheets, pencil, and         at their behavior
    poster                        •   Write or draw a picture
•   More structured support           (based on ability)
•   No talking or participation   •   Written documentation
•   Process before returning      •   Facilitates processing and
    to their regular desk             helps to develop a plan on
•   Think of extra Safe Seats         how to extinguish the
•   It is OK for the students
    to ask to go to the Safe      •   Processing must
    Seat                              accompany the completion
                                      of a Think Sheet
                  Buddy Rooms
        Sending Teacher                 Receiving Teacher
•   Buddy Room should be in a    •   Use Safe Seat and extra
    close proximity and either       Think Sheets
    1 grade above or below       •   Make sure the student
•   Send a pass with the             knows where to sit
    student                      •   The student should NOT
•   May send a follow-up             be disruptive
    messenger with work          •   Check on student
•   Responsible for processing   •   May process if time allows
    with the student before      •   Student follows the Buddy
    the student re-enters the        Classroom’s Schedule
                                 •   Can send the student back
                                     if the student is OK and
                                     ready to process
The Best of Both Worlds
Using both methods will help you
   to create a happy and safe
     classroom environment!
For more information, please visit:
            Love and Logic


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