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How to become the person You always wanted to be

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					                   Awesome Character
                       Building




UNCONSCIOUSLY we are forming habits every moment of our lives.
Some are habits of a desirable nature; some are those of a most
undesirable nature. Some, though not so bad in themselves, are
exceedingly bad in their cumulative effects, and cause us at times
much loss, much pain and anguish, while their opposites would, on the
contrary, bring as much peace and joy, as well as a continually
increasing power.

Have we it within our power to determine at all times what types of
habits shall take form in our lives? In other words, is habit-forming,
character building, a matter of mere chance, or have we it within our
own control? We have, entirely and absolutely. "I will be what I will to
be," can be said and should be said by every human soul.

After this has been bravely and determinedly said, and not only said,
but fully inwardly realized, something yet remains. Something
remains to be said regarding the great law underlying habit-forming,
character building; for there is a simple, natural, and thoroughly
scientific method that all should know.

A method whereby old, undesirable, earth-binding habits can be
broken, and new, desirable, heaven lifting habits can be acquired, a
method whereby life in part or in its totality can be changed,
provided one is sufficiently in earnest to know and, knowing it, to
apply the law.

Thought is the force underlying all. And what do we mean by this?
Simply this: Your every act - every conscious act - is preceded by a
thought. Your dominating thoughts determine your dominating
actions. In the realm of our own minds we have absolute control, or
we should have, and if at any time we have not, then there is a
method by which we can gain control, and in the realm of the mind
become thorough masters. In order to get to the very foundation of
the matter, let us look to this for a moment. For if thought is always
parent to our acts, habits, character, life, then it is first necessary that
we know fully how to control our thoughts.

Here let us refer to that law of the mind which is the same as is the
law in Connection with the reflex nerve system of the body, the law
which says that whenever one does a certain thing in a certain way it
is easier to do the same thing in the same way the next time, and still
easier the next, and the next, and the next, until in time it comes to
pass that no effort is required, or no effort worth speaking of; but on
the opposite would require the effort. The mind carries with it the
power that perpetuates its own type of thought, the same as the body
carries with it through the reflex nerve system the power which
perpetuates and makes continually easier its own particular acts. Thus
a simple effort to control one's thoughts, a simple setting about it,
even if at first failure is the result, and even if for a time failure seems
to be about the only result, will in time, sooner or later, bring him to
the point of easy, full, and complete control.


      Each one, then, can grow the power of determining, controlling
his thought, the power of determining what types of thought he shall
and what types he shall not entertain. For let us never part in mind
with this fact, that every earnest effort along any line makes the end
aimed at just a little easier for each succeeding effort, even if, as has
been said, apparent failure is the result of the earlier efforts. This is a
case where even failure is success, for the failure is not in the effort,
and every earnest effort adds an increment of power that will
eventually accomplish the end aimed at. We can, then, gain the full
and complete power of determining what character, what type of
thoughts we entertain.


      Shall we now give attention to some two or three concrete
cases? Here is a man, the cashier of a large mercantile establishment,
or cashier of a bank. In his morning paper he reads of a man who has
become suddenly rich, has made a fortune of half a million or a million
dollars in a few hours through speculation on the stock market.
Perhaps he has seen an account of another man who has done
practically the same thing lately. He is not quite wise enough,
however, to comprehend the fact that when he reads of one or two
cases of this kind he could find, were he to look into the matter
carefully, one or two hundred cases of men who have lost all they had
in the same way. He thinks, however, that he will be one of the
fortunate ones. He does not fully realize that there are no short cuts to
wealth honestly made. He takes a part of his savings, and as is true in
practically all cases of this kind, he loses all that he has put in,
Thinking now that he sees why he lost, and that had he more money
he would be able to get back what he has lost, and perhaps make a
handsome sum in addition, and make it quickly, the
thought comes to him to use some of the funds he has charge of. In
nine cases out of ten, if not ten cases in every ten, the results that
inevitably follow this are known sufficiently well to make it
unnecessary to follow him farther.

Where is the man's safety in the light of what we have been
considering? Simply this: the moment the thought of using for his own
purpose funds belonging to others enters his mind, if he is wise he will
instantly put the thought from his mind. If he is a fool he will entertain
it. In the degree in which he entertains it, it will grow upon him; it will
become the absorbing thought in his mind; it will finally become
master of his will power, and through rapidly succeeding steps,
dishonor, shame, and degradation, penitentiary, remorse will be his. It
is easy for him to put the thought from his mind when it first enters;
but as he entertains it, it grows into such proportions that it becomes
more and more difficult for him to put it from his mind; and by and by
it becomes practically impossible for him to do it. The light of the
match, which but a little effort of the breath would have extinguished
at first, has imparted a flame that is raging through the entire
building, and now it is almost if not quite impossible to conquer it.




Shall we notice another concrete case? A trite case, perhaps, but one
in which we can see how habit is formed, and also how the same habit
can be unformed. Here is a young man, he may be the son of poor
parents, or he may be the son of rich parents; one in the ordinary
ranks of life, or one of high social standing, whatever that means. He
is good hearted, one of good impulses generally speaking, a good
fellow. He is out with some companions, companions of the same
general type. They are out for a pleasant evening, out for a good time.
They are apt at times to be thoughtless, even careless.

The suggestion is made by one of the company, not that they get
drunk, no, not at all; but merely that they go and have something to
drink together. The young man whom we first mentioned, wanting to
be genial, scarcely listens to the suggestion that comes into his inner
consciousness that it will be better for him not to fall in with the others
in this. He does not stop long enough to realize the fact that the
greatest strength and nobility of character lies always in taking a firm
stand on the aide of the right, and allow himself to be influenced
                                             by nothing that will weaken
                                             this   stand.    He    goes,
                                             therefore,     with      his
                                             companions to the drinking
                                             place. With the same or
                                             with other companions this
                                             is repeated now and then;
                                             and each time it is repeated
his power of saying "No" is gradually decreasing. In this way he has
grown a little liking for intoxicants, and takes them perhaps now and
then by


himself. He does not dream, or in the slightest degree realize, what
way he is tending, until there comes a day when he awakens to the
consciousness of the fact that he hasn’t the power nor even the
impulse to resist the taste which has gradually grown into a minor
form of craving for intoxicants. Thinking, however, that he will be able
to stop when he is really in danger of getting into the drink habit, he
goes thoughtlessly and carelessly on. We will pass over the various
intervening steps and come to the time when we find him a confirmed
drunkard. It is simply the same old story told a thousand or even a
million times over.

He finally awakens to his true condition; and through the shame, the
anguish, the degradation, and the want that comes upon him he longs
for a return of the days when he was a free man. But hope has almost
gone from his life. It would have been easier for him never to have
begun, and easier for him to have stopped before he reached his
present condition; but even in his present condition, be it the lowest
and the most helpless and hopeless that can be imagined, he has the
power to get out of it and be a free man once again. Let us see. The
desire for drink comes upon him again. If he entertains the thought,
the desire, he is lost again. His only hope, his only means of escape is
this: the moment, aye, the very instant the thought comes to him, if
he will put it out of his mind he will thereby put out the little flame of
the match.
If he entertains the thought the little flame will communicate itself
until almost before he is aware of it a consuming fire is raging, and
then effort is almost useless. The thought must be banished from the
mind the instant it enters; dalliance with it means failure and defeat,
or a fight that will be indescribably fiercer than it would be if the
thought is ejected at the beginning.

And here we must say a word regarding a certain great law that we
may call the "law of indirectness." A thought can be put out of the
mind easier and more successfully, not by dwelling upon it, not by,
attempting to put it out directly, but by throwing the mind on to some
other object by putting some other object of thought into the mind.
This may be, for example, the ideal of full and perfect self-mastery, or
it may be something of a nature entirely distinct from the thought
which presents itself, something to which the mind goes easily and
naturally. This will in time become the absorbing thought in the mind,
and the danger is past.

This same course of action repeated will gradually grow the power of
putting more readily out of mind the thought of drink as it presents
itself, and will gradually grow the power of putting into the mind
those objects of thought one most desires. The result will be that as
time passes the thought of drink will present itself less and less, and
when it does present itself it can be put out of the mind more easily
each succeeding time, until the time comes when it can be put out
without difficulty, and eventually the time will come when the thought
will enter the mind no more at all.
Still another case: You may be more or less of an irritable nature
naturally, perhaps, provoked easily to anger. Someone says
something or does something that you dislike, and your first
impulse is to show resentment and possibly to give way to anger. In
the degree that you allow this resentment to display itself, that you
allow yourself to give way to anger, in that degree will it become
easier to do the same thing when any cause, even a very slight
cause, presents itself. It will, moreover, become continually harder
for you to refrain from it, until resentment, anger, and possibly even
hatred and revenge become characteristics of your nature, robbing
it of its sunniness, its charm, and its brightness for all with whom
you come in contact.

If, however, the instant the impulse to resentment and anger arises,
you check it then and there, and throw the mind on to some other
object of thought, the power will gradually grow itself of doing this
same thing more readily, more easily, as succeeding like causes
present themselves, until by and by the time will come when there will
be scarcely anything that can irritate you, and nothing that can impel
you to anger; until by and by a matchless brightness and charm of
nature and disposition will become habitually yours, a brightness and
charm you would scarcely think possible today. And so we might take
up case after case, characteristic after characteristic, habit after habit.




The habit of faultfinding and its opposite are grown in identically the
same way; the characteristic of jealousy and its opposite; the
characteristic of fear and its opposite. In this same way we grow either
love or hatred; in this way we come to take a gloomy, pessimistic view
of life, which objectifies itself in a nature, a disposition of this type, or
we grow that sunny, hopeful, cheerful, buoyant nature that brings with
it so much joy and beauty and power for ourselves, as well as so much
hope and inspiration and joy for all the world.

There is nothing more true in connection with human life than that
we grow into the likeness of those things we contemplate. Literally
and scientifically and necessarily true is it that "as a man thinketh in
his heart, so is he." The "is" part is his character. His character is the
sum total of his habits. His habits have been formed by· his
conscious acts; but every conscious act is, as we have found,
preceded by a thought. And so we have it - thought on the one hand,
character, life, and destiny on the other. And simple it becomes when
we bear in mind that it is simply the thought of the present moment,
and the next moment when it is upon us, and then the next, and so
on through all time.

One can in this way attain to whatever ideals he would attain to. Two
steps are necessary: first, as the days pass, to form one's ideals; and
second, to follow them continually, whatever may arise, wherever
they may lead him. Always remember that the great and strong
character is the one who is ever ready to sacrifice the present
pleasure for the future good. He who will thus follow his highest ideals
as they present themselves to him day after day, year after year, will
find that as Dante, following his beloved from world to world, finally
found her at the gates of Paradise, so he will find himself eventually at
the same gates. Life is not, we may say, for mere passing pleasure,
but for the highest enfoldments that one can attain to, the noblest
character that one can grow, and for the greatest service that one can
render to all mankind. In this, however, we will find the highest
pleasure, for in this the only real pleasure lies. He, who would find it
by any short cuts, or by entering upon any other paths, will inevitably
find that his last state is always worse than his first; and if he proceed
upon paths other than these he will find that he will never find real
and lasting pleasure at all.

The question is not, " What are the conditions in our lives?" but, "How
do we meet the conditions that we find there?" And whatever the
conditions are, it is unwise and profitless to look upon them, even if
they are conditions that we would have otherwise, in the attitude of
complaint, for complaint will bring depression, and depression will
weaken and possibly even kill the spirit that would engender the power
that would enable us to bring into our lives an entirely new set of
conditions.
In order to be concrete, even at the risk of being personal, I will say
that there have come at various times into my life circumstances and
conditions that I gladly would have run from at the time—conditions
that caused at the time humiliation and shame and anguish of spirit.
But invariably, as sufficient time has passed, I – or anyone for that
matter - have been able to look back and see clearly the part that
every experience of the type just mentioned had to play in my life. I
have seen the lessons it was essential for me to learn; and the result
is that now I would not drop a single one of these experiences from
my life, humiliating and hard to bear as they were at the time; no, not
for the world. And here is also a lesson I have learned: whatever
conditions are in my life today that are not the easiest and most
agreeable, and whatever conditions of this type all coming time may
bring, I will take them just as they come, without complaint, without
depression, and meet them in the wisest possible way; knowing that
they are the best possible conditions that could be in my life at the
time, or otherwise they would not be there; realizing the fact that,
although I may not at the time see why they are in my life, although I
may not see just what part they have to play, the time will come, and
when it comes I will see it all, and thank God for every condition just
as it came.

Each one is so apt to think that his own conditions, his own trials or
troubles or sorrows, or his own struggles, as the case may be, are
greater than those of the great mass of mankind, or possibly greater
than those of any one else in the world. He forgets that each one has
his own peculiar trials or troubles or sorrows to bear, or struggles in
habits to overcome, and that his is but the common lot of all the
human race. We are apt to make the mistake in this — in that we see
and feel keenly our own trials, or adverse conditions, or characteristics
to be overcome, while those of others we do not see so clearly, and
hence we are apt to think that they are not at all equal to our own.
Each has his own problems to work out.

Each must work out his own problems. Each must grow the insight
that will enable him to see what the causes are that have brought the
unfavorable conditions into his life; each must grow the strength that
will enable him to face these conditions, and to set into operation
forces that will bring about a different set of conditions. We may be of
aid to one another by way of suggestion, by way of bringing to one
another a knowledge of certain higher laws and forces — laws and
forces that will make it easier to do that which we would do. The
doing, however, must be done by each one for himself.

                        True it is, then, not, “What are the conditions in
                        one's life?" but "How does he meet the
                        conditions that he finds there?" This will
                        determine all. And if at any time we are apt to
                        think that our own lot is about the hardest there
                        is, and if we are able at any time to persuade
                        ourselves that we can find no one whose lot is
                        just a little harder than ours, let us then study
                        for a little while the character Pompilia, in
                        Browning's poem and after studying it, thank
                        God that the conditions in our life are so
                        favorable; and then set about with a trusting and
intrepid spirit to actualize the conditions that we most desire.

Thought is at the bottom of all progress or retrogression, of all success
or failure, of all that is desirable or undesirable in human life. The type
of thought we entertain both creates and draws conditions that
crystallize about it, conditions exactly the same in nature as is the
thought that gives them form. Thoughts are forces, and each creates
of its kind, whether we realize it or not. The great law of the drawing
power of the mind, which says that like creates like, and that like
attracts like, is continually working in every human life, for it is one of
the great immutable laws of the universe.

For one to take time to see clearly the things he would attain to, and
then to hold that ideal steadily and continually before his mind, never
allowing faith — his positive thought-forces — to give way to or to be
neutralized by doubts and fears, and then to set about doing each day
what his hands find to do, never complaining, but spending the time
that he would otherwise spend in complaint in focusing his thought-
forces upon the ideal that his mind has built, will sooner or later bring
about the full materialization of that for which he sets out. There are
those who, when they begin to grasp the fact that there is what we
may term a "science of thought," who, when they begin to realize that
through the instrumentality of our interior, spiritual, thought-forces we
have the power of gradually molding the everyday conditions of life as
we would have them, in their early enthusiasm are not able to see
results as quickly as they expect and are apt to think, therefore, that
after all there is not very much in that which has but newly come to
their knowledge. They must remember, however, that in endeavoring
to overcome an old habit or to grow a new habit, everything cannot be
done all at once.

In the degree that we attempt to use the thought-forces do we
continually become able to use them more effectively. Progress is slow
at first, more rapid as we proceed. Power grows by using, or, in other
words, using brings a continually increasing power. This is governed by
law the same as are all things in our lives, and all things in the
universe about us.

Every act and advancement made by the musician is in full accordance
with law. No one commencing the study of music can, for example, sit
down to the piano and play the piece of a master at the first effort. He
must not conclude, however, nor does he conclude, that the piece of
the master cannot be played by him, or, for that matter, by anyone.
He begins to practice the piece.

The law of the mind that we have already noticed comes to his aid,
whereby his mind follows the music more readily, more rapidly, and
more surely each succeeding time, and there also comes into
operation and to his aid the law underlying the action of the reflex
nerve system of the body, which we have also noticed, whereby his
fingers co-ordinate their movements with the movements of his mind
more readily, more rapidly, and more accurately each succeeding
time; until by and by the time comes when that which he stumbles
through at first, that in which there is no harmony, nothing but
discord, finally reveals itself as the music of the master, the music that
thrills and moves masses of men and women. So it is in the use of the
thought-forces. It is the reiteration, the constant reiteration of the
thought that grows the power of continually stronger thought-focusing,
and that finally brings manifestation.
       There is character building not only for the young but for the old
as well. And what a difference there is in elderly people! How many
grow old gracefully, and how many grow old in ways of quite a
different nature. There is a sweetness and charm that combine for
attractiveness in old age the same as there is something that cannot
be described by these words. Some grow continually more dear to
their friends and to the members of their immediate households, while
others become possessed of the idea that their friends and the
members of their households have less of a regard for them than they
formerly had, and many times they are not far wrong. The one
continually sees more in life to enjoy, the other sees continually less.
The one becomes more dear and attractive to others, the other less
so.

       And why is this? Through chance? By no means. Personally I
do not believe there is any such thing as chance in the whole of
human life, nor even in the world or the great universe in which we
live. The one great law of cause and effect is absolute; and effect is
always kindred to its own peculiar cause, although we may have at
times to go back considerably farther than we are accustomed to in
order to find the cause, the parent of this or that effect, or actualized,
though not necessarily permanently actualized, condition.




Why, then, the vast difference in the two types of elderly people? The
one keeps from worryings, and fearings, and frettings, and
foundationless imaginings, while the other seems especially to
cultivate these, to give himself or herself especially to them. And why
is this? At a certain time in life, differing somewhat in different
people, life-long mental states, habits, and characteristics begin to
focus themselves and come to the surface, so to speak.
Predominating thoughts and mental states begin to show themselves
in actualized qualities and characteristics as never before, and no one
is immune.
                                           And it is quite the same in
                                           human life. If one would have a
                                           beautiful and attractive old
                                           age, he must begin it in youth
                                           and in middle life. If, however,
                                           he has neglected or failed in
                                           this, he can then wisely adapt
                                           himself to circumstances and
                                           give    himself   zealously   to
putting into operation all necessary counter-balancing forces and
influences. Where there is life nothing is ever irretrievably lost, though
the enjoyment of the higher good may be long delayed. But if one
would have an especially beautiful and attractive old age he must
begin it in early and in middle life, for there comes by and by a sort of
"rounding-up" process when long-lived-in habits of thought begin to
take unto themselves a strongly dominating power, and the thought
habits of a lifetime begin to come to the surface.


Fear and worry, selfishness, a hard-fisted, grabbing, holding
disposition, a carping, fault- finding, nagging tendency, a slavery of
thought and action to the thinking or to the opinions of others, a
lacking of consideration, thought, and sympathy for others, a lack of
charity for the thoughts, the motives, and the acts of others, a lack of
knowledge of the powerful and inevitable building qualities of thought,
as well as a lack of faith in the eternal goodness and love and power
of the Source of our being, all combine in time to make the old age of
those in whom they find life, that barren, cheerless, unwelcome
something, unattractive or even repellent to itself as well as to others,
that we not infrequently find, while their opposites, on the contrary,
combine, and seem to be helped on by heavenly agencies, to bring
about that cheerful, hopeful, helpful, beautified, and hallowed old age
that is so welcome and so attractive both to itself and to all with
whom it comes in contact. Both types of thoughts, qualities, and
dispositions, moreover, externalize themselves in the voice, in the
peculiarly different ways in which they mark the face, in the stoop or
lack of stoop in the form, as also in the healthy or unhealthy
conditions of the mind and body, and their susceptibility to disorders
and weaknesses of various kinds.
       All life is from within out. This is something that cannot be
reiterated too often. The springs of life are all from within. This being
true, it would be well for us to give more time to the inner life than
we are accustomed to give to it, especially in this Western world.

There is nothing that will bring us such abundant returns as to take a
little time in the quiet each day of our lives. We need this to get the
kinks out of our minds, and hence out of our lives. We need this to
form better the higher ideals of life. We need this in order to see
clearly in mind the things upon which we would concentrate and focus
the thought-forces.

We need this in order to make continually anew and to keep our
conscious connection with the Infinite. We need this in order that the
rush and hurry of our everyday life does not keep us away from the
conscious realization of the fact that the spirit of Infinite life and
power that is back of all, working in and through all, the life of all, is
the life of real lack is, and although he hasn't money enough in all the
world to buy it did he know.




It is well to find our center early, and if not early then late; but, late or
early, the thing to do is to find it. While we are in life the one essential
thing is to play our part bravely and well and to keep our active
interest in all its varying phases, the same as it is well to be able to
adapt ourselves always to changing conditions.
We are all in Life's great play— comedy and tragedy, smiles and tears,
sunshine and shadow, summer and winter, and in time we take all
parts. We must take our part, whatever it may be, at any given time,
always bravely and with a keen appreciation of every opportunity, and
a keen alertness at every turn as the play progresses. A good
"entrance" and a good "exit" contribute strongly to the playing of a
deservedly worthy role. We are not always able perhaps to choose just
as we would the details of our entrance, but the manner of our playing
and the manner of our exit we can all determine, and this no man, no
power can deny us; this in every human life can be made indeed most
glorious, however humble it may begin, or however humble it may
remain or exalted it may become, according to conventional standards
of judgment.


To me we are here for divine self-realization through experience. We
progress in the degree that we manipulate wisely all things that enter
into our lives, and that make the sum total of each one's life
experience. Let us be brave and strong in the presence of each
problem as it presents itself and make the best of all. Let us help the
things we can help, and let us be not bothered or crippled by the
things we cannot help.
In the Orient there are many who are day after day sitting in the
quiet, meditating, contemplating, and idealizing, with their eyes
focused on their stomachs in spiritual revelry, while through lack of
outer activities, in their stomachs, they are actually starving.

In this Western world, men and women, in the rush and activity of our
accustomed life, are running hither and thither, with no center, no
foundation upon which to stand, nothing to which they can anchor
their lives, because they do not take sufficient time to come into the
realization of what the center, of what the reality of their lives is.

If the Oriental would do his contemplating, and then get up and do his
work, he would be in a better condition; he would be living a more
normal and satisfactory life. If we in the Occident would take more
time from the rush and activity of life for contemplation, for
meditation, for idealization, for becoming acquainted with our real
selves, and then go about our work manifesting the powers of our real
selves, we would be far better off, because we would be living a more
natural, a more normal life.

To find one's center, to become centered in the Infinite, is the first
great essential of every satisfactory life; and then to go out, thinking,
speaking, working, loving, living, from this center.

In the highest character building, such as we have been considering,
there are those who feel they are handicapped by what we term
heredity. In a sense they are right; in another sense they are totally
wrong. It is along the same lines as the thought which many before
us had inculcated in them through the couplet in the New England
Primer: "In Adam's fall, we sinned all." Now, in the first place, it is
rather hard to understand the justice of this if it is true. In the
second place, it is rather hard to understand why it is true. And in
the third place there is no truth in it at all. We are now dealing
with the real essential self, and, however old Adam is, God is
eternal.
       He is building for the centuries because only that which is the highest,
the truest, the noblest, and best will abide the test of the centuries. He is
building for eternity because when the transition we call death takes place,
life, character, self-mastery, divine self-realization — the only things that
the soul when stripped of everything else takes with it — he has in
abundance, in life, or when the time of the transition to another form of life
comes, he is never afraid, never fearful, because he knows and realizes that
behind him, within him, beyond him, is the Infinite wisdom and love; and in
this he is eternally centered, and from it he can never be separated.

      With Whittier he sings:

            I know not where His islands lift
            Their fronded palms in air;
            I only know I cannot drift
            Beyond His love and care

				
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Description: Find out who You are, and how You can turn to the person You always wanted to be