Toolkit SA - Building Self-Confidence - Revised May 2012 by mohamedchipo


									                              Building Self Confidence

Learning to be comfortable with yourself and who you are is a key component of living a fulfilled
life. Self-confidence plays a huge role in how the pieces of the puzzle fit together for us in life’s
journey. What is your level of self-confidience and does it affect the decisions you make? Do
you feel good about yourself or do you need to build your confidence?

Below are some tips and tools in six sequential steps to help boost your level of self-confidence.
When changing a behavior or practicing a new skill, experts recommend performing these
techniques over a 60 day period of time to form a new habit. Choose one tip and tool to practice
to start building your confidence.

As with any new skill, it is important to first gain an understanding of what self-confidence is and
means to you.

What is self-confidence?

“Two main things contribute to self-confidence: self-efficacy and self-esteem.

We gain a sense of self-efficacy when we see ourselves (and others similar to ourselves)
mastering skills and achieving those goals that matter in those skill areas. This is the confidence
that, if we learn and work hard in a particular area, we’ll succeed; and it’s this type of confidence
that leads people to accept difficult challenges, and persist in the face of setbacks.

This overlaps with the idea of self-esteem, which is a more general sense that we can cope with
what’s going on in our lives, and that we have a right to be happy. Partly, this comes from a
feeling that the people around us approve of us, which we may or may not be able to control. It
also comes from the sense that we are behaving virtuously, that we’re competent at what we
do, and that we can compete successfully when we put our minds to it.”
              -Courtesy of (

Tips and Tools to Practice Self-Confidence
Use the tips and tools below to help build your self-confidence.

Identify at least one partner who can help you reach your goals.
This is the first step in building self-confidence. If we can find an individual who cares about us
and our success, and is willing to help us succeed, we are on our way!

 Building Self-Confidence  Designed by The Charmm’d Foundation 
                                  Imagine your success. We do.
Building Self-Confidence continued

Identify someone who cares about you and who you feel safe with. Let them know you are
working on building your self-confidence and would like their help. Then, at least twice a month,
share with them your successes, plans and concerns. Let them know that you would like them
        listen and empathize
        offer suggestions
        affirm that what you are doing makes sense
        hold you accountable for goals you want to set for yourself
        encourage and/or help you celebrate

                Admitting to another person that we aren’t perfect and that we have some fears takes
                          courage. Hopefully what we gain far outweighs the risk. Go for it!

Realize and focus on your strengths!
It is our choice what we focus on. Many of us can easily identify and focus on our weaknesses.
While we may recognize our weaknesses, focusing on them can cause us to spiral downward.
Why not identify and call on our strengths to build us up instead? It is these strengths that keep
us going, trying harder and persevering.

                Learn what your strengths are! Through VIA Institute on Character you can take a FREE
                 SURVEY at, which is the world's most
                scientifically validated tool for measuring character strengths. It identifies your top five
                signature strengths - those you most frequently express.
                Once you have identified your top strengths, call on these throughout your day to:
                ~ help you problem solve.
                ~ find comfort when you need some self-confidence because you are worried others
                may not approve.
                ~ realize what you bring to the table.
                And ALWAYS – keep your eye on the prize. Celebrate who you are and your successes!
                          The more we use our strengths, the more often we find success and the
                                                more competent we feel!

  Building Self-Confidence  Designed by The Charmm’d Foundation 
                                   Imagine your success. We do.
Building Self-Confidence continued
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________

Prepare for what you can control!
In everything we do, there are things we can control and things we can’t. Focusing on the
things we can control helps to put into perspective the reality of the situation. Focus your
attention on the things you can complete and have control over.

On a sheet of paper draw a line down the center. At the top of the paper (1” down) draw a line
across. You should now have a “T-chart.” On the left side of the chart write “Things I Can
Control.” On the right side of the chart write, “Things I Can’t Control.” Begin populating the chart
with things you can and can’t control. Next, prioritize the things you can control. Strive towards
accomplishing things you “can control” on your list in the order of importance.

                                            Self Reflection Questions:
               Which tip and tool did you find most useful?
               How did this tip and tool or a series of them help build your self-confidence?
               Which tip and tool was least effective for you and why?
               How will you continue to build these habits into your daily life?

Note: This handout may be reproduced for noncommercial uses only. You have our permission to print
and pass along to others.

  Building Self-Confidence  Designed by The Charmm’d Foundation 
                                   Imagine your success. We do.

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