Intimacy in Marriage

							Intimacy in Marriage:
The secret to getting married
  and staying “engaged”
  What do you hope
for in your marriage?
    Intimacy and sexuality is
         a Gift From God

Act of total trust in self &
 partner
Ways we express intimacy
 have been shaped by:
 –Experience of family & friends
 –Previous intimate relationships
Back to back intimacy
Wedding    vows
You will repeat
 those over
 and over…
Not “I do”
 but “I will”
Healthy marriages have
 several marriages within it
    Shoulder to
     shoulder
     intimacy
Commitment    to life
Hospitality: give
 out of our abundance!
Not just to children,
 but to others as well
 Sexual Intimacy
     and Living
 Together Before
     Marriage
The Judeo-Christian Tradition
                                 Cohabitation
   Every act of sexual intercourse is intended
    by God to express love, commitment and
    openness to life in the total gift of the
    spouses to each other. Sexual intercourse
    outside of marriage cannot express what
    God intended. Rather, it says something
    false--a total commitment that the couple
    does not yet have. This total commitment
    is possible only in marriage.
    –   From: http://foryourmarriage.org
     Exploring the Questions
 Why did you choose to live together?
 What did you learn from the
  experience of living together?
 Why did you decide to marry?

 Why do you wish to marry in the
  Catholic Church?
 What does marriage as a sacrament
  mean to you?
          A Healthy, Long-lasting
              Relationship
   What makes marriage unique from simply
    living together is a “vow of permanence.”
    Partners publicly promise that they will no
    longer be alone and no matter what
    happens down the road someone will be
    thre to take care of you and support you.

   Commitment is the heart of marriage.
    Foundations of Intimacy
 Trust

 Empathy

 Enthusiasm   and courage
 Sharing other’s worlds

 Sex – it does not create a
  relationship. It expresses a
  relationship.
 Types who fight true intimacy
 The macho
 The workaholic

 The martyr

 The avoiders

 Intimacy junkies
   SHAME: the greatest block to
       authentic intimacy
 Shame  is self-oriented, you feel
 there is something wrong with you.

      is action-oriented, you
 Guilt
 experience it when you have done
 something you know to be wrong.
       8 Realms of Shame
 1. Personal            5. Sense of self
  Attractiveness         6. Sexuality
 2. Matters of size,    7. Issues of seeing
  strength, ability,      and being seen
  skill                  Fears and wishes
 3. Dependency/          about intimacy
  independence
 4. Competition
       Reactions to Shame
 Withdrawal

 Attack oneself
 Avoidance

 Attack others



 Halting   the shame spiral:
  – Defense or acceptance
The Key to a
Sacramental
 Marriage is
Commitment