10 Ways to Improve Your No Contact Experience After a Breakup

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					    10 Ways to Improve Your No Contact Experience after a Breakup

                                        This post is designed to give you some
                                        practical knowledge about the no contact
                                        theory that you can use if you’ve recently
                                        split from your ex and are struggling the
                                        concept of no contact.

                                        The No Contact Theory

                                          Generally speaking the no contact rule is
the first thing that you should do in the event of a breakup. Although it’s not right
for each and every breakup, it is useful and beneficial for the majority of
circumstances. If it’s done right, it’s designed to significantly reduce the pain of a
breakup when you need it most, which in most cases is immediately after an
unexpected breakup.

When it comes to using the no contact rule, most people get out what they put
into it and because at times it’s difficult to stop communicating with someone
that we’ve shared a relationship with we need to give the no contact rule a bit of
a boost so that it can be an effective tool.

Our Thoughts and Feelings and How they Affect Us

Our thoughts and feelings are two extremely powerful things. Someone once
asked an actress how she was able to cry on demand during a take and she said
“it’s simple, I just think of something sad and then I feel sad and then I cry.” And
there you have it, if you think about something sad then you will feel sad.

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The Five Forms of Loss

Typically when you breakup with someone there are five areas in your life that
are impacted. Below I’m going to examine each one and how your breakup
impacts it.
    10 Ways to Improve Your No Contact Experience after a Breakup

Loss of Lifestyle: Directly after a breakup people tend to dwell on the things they
did together as a couple and compare that to how their life is now. In almost
every case, this leaves them feeling empty and sad inside.

 Loss of Support: When people are involved in relationships there is a natural
support system there. They have someone to confide in, someone to share their
hopes and dreams with. However, in the course of a breakup this support system
is shattered.

Loss of Opportunity: Most people think that their ex was the one and that they’ll
never find that again in their life.

Loss of Future: Most people think about the things that they were going to do
with their ex, but now that they’re broken up those experiences will never

 Loss of Love: Everyone who is in a relationship loves having someone who gives
them self validation because this boosts self esteem and self confidence. When a
breakup takes place this vanishes along with everything else.

The 2 Obstacles with Maintaining No Contact after a Breakup

There are 2 obstacles that people face when it comes to successfully
implementing the no contact rule after a breakup.

The first obstacle is this: we’re addicted to our ex and we don’t want to cut off all
contact completely. Like a drug, we’ve come to rely on them for almost
everything in our lives and so the thought of cutting them out completely is scary.

The other obstacle that people face in regards to the no contact rule is fear. We
fear that if we break off all contact and push them away that they’ll simply move
on and the opportunity to get back together will be lost forever.

What I want to give you here is a two step approach to the no contact rule. The
first step is to break the addictive hold that an ex has by cutting them out
completely; this means no emails, phone calls or texting. The second step is
harder and it involved cutting our ex out of our thoughts.
    10 Ways to Improve Your No Contact Experience after a Breakup

The less we think about our ex the fewer negative and sad thoughts we’ll have
and the happier we’ll be. Most people have mastered the first step which is to cut
off all PHYSICAL contact with their ex, but it’s cutting off all MENTAL contact with
our ex that keeps us from truly doing this process correctly.

We don’t want just no physical contact with them. We want to mentally break
free as well. That is the ultimate goal here!

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5 Preparatory No Contact Phase Activities You Need To Do Before You Begin!

There are several things that you can do to improve and enhance your no contact
experience after a breakup. Some of these are the typical no contact techniques
and others are non conventional techniques such as mental exercises. Others are
designed to help you cope with the five forms of loss mentioned above.

Some of these you may find easy, some you may find difficult, depending on your
particular circumstances and personality. But don’t worry, it’s not a test. When
everything is said and done, you’re the one who’s going to benefit in the end.
Lastly, don’t shy away from doing something because it looks too difficult. Put
some effort into it and see if it works. In the end you’ll come out a stronger and
better person because of your perseverance.

Below I’m going to outline 5 initial activities that you can do as soon as you’ve
experienced a breakup. There’s no point in doing the no contact rule unless you
truly believe in it and these 5 things will help get you prepared.

   1. Write a list of all the things that your ex said and did during the last part of
      the relationship that led to clearly understand that they longer wanted to
      be with you. This will be inevitably painful, but you must convince yourself
      that they wanted to end things with you and refer to this list often
      whenever you’re filled with doubt about the reasons for the breakup.

   2. Compile a list of things your ex did that drove you crazy and add to this list
      daily if you can. The point of this exercise here is to help you overcome the
    10 Ways to Improve Your No Contact Experience after a Breakup

      loss of opportunity in your life that you feel because you think your ex is
      the only one in the world for you. Maybe there’s someone out there who is
      better suited for you?

   3. Think of a time in your life when you needed your ex’s support but they
      never gave it to you. Write this down and finish the sentence with “[ex's
      name here] never supported me when I needed it most.”

   4. Is there something you really wanted to do but were unable to because of
      your ex? It could be anything; moving away to college, changing jobs or
      perhaps an alternative lifestyle? Whatever it is, write it down and finish
      your sentence with the phrase” and because we are no longer together my
      future will be better and brighter.” Now that you’re no longer together, I
      want you to focus on all the possibilities that await you and keep thinking
      about this every day until you are convinced it will happen! Refer to this
      whenever you think that your dream future is lost because of the breakup
      with your ex.

   5. The part is by far the most difficult and it’s the one people struggle with the
      most. I want you to think about what things would be like if the situation
      were reversed and you had been the one who dumped your ex. Would you
      go to great lengths to contact them if you realized the breakup was a
      mistake? My guess is that you would, and you’d do whatever it took to
      contact them.

Now hold onto this thought. As you can see, taking a one month holiday will not
stop your ex from trying to make contact with you or drive them away if they truly
care about you. So now that you know this is true I need you to convince yourself
of it.

And once you’ve convinced yourself that not contacting your ex won’t make them
not contact you or drive them away, I want you to take a 1 month holiday from
them. And I mean a complete holiday. They will not exist for one month not even
    10 Ways to Improve Your No Contact Experience after a Breakup

in your mind as far as you can manage it. And after the one month period is up, I
want you to evaluate your situation and ask yourself if you are better or worse

So now that I’ve outlined the 5 things you need to do to get mentally prepared for
the no contact rule it’s time to look at some practical things you can do as well to
help you during your no contact phase.

Click here for more details about the no contact rule

10 Ways to Improve Your No Contact Experience after a Breakup

 1. Remove all traces of your ex from your life. This means that you need to
remove them from your phone, you need to delete their emails and pictures etc...
However if you can’t bring yourself to do this, then you need to do the next best
thing which is to burn them to a CD and then store that CD some place that you
don’t regularly access during your day to day life.

 2. Allocate time each hour to think about your ex. At first you may give yourself
45 mins out of every hour to think about them and your relationship, but after
some time you may want to try and cut it down to 40 minutes and so forth until
you’re down to no more than 5 minutes per hour. If a though about your ex pops
into your head outside this allocated time, tell yourself either in your head or out
loud “I can’t think about you right now, I’ll do it next hour.”

 3. Allow yourself time to cry. Much like the last step, if you find yourself crying
every day, give yourself a specific time to grieve about your relationship. During
these times of grief, allow yourself to unleash as much emotion as you want
about things and then when it’s over go out and do something that you enjoy and

 4. Do something you love but your ex didn’t. If there is anything that you really
liked to do but your ex didn’t, now is the time to do it. If they hated sitting down
and watching a certain DVD, make yourself some popcorn, put in the DVD and
watch it!
    10 Ways to Improve Your No Contact Experience after a Breakup

 5. Take this time apart to improve yourself as a person. The break away from
your ex is a great chance to improve yourself and become a better person. Take a
class or pick up a new hobby. One of the traits that people find most attractive in
someone is the drive to do something and learn something new. So use this time
to your advantage and improve yourself.

6. Schedule your time. If you find that there are specific times of the day where
you’re constantly thinking about your ex, try scheduling something that is
mentally demanding at that time. That way you’ll have something to take your
mind off your ex which will speed up the healing process.

 7. Spend time around other people that lift you up. Depending on how much
free time you have, spend some of that around other people that you like and
that make you happy. Each time you spend doing something else with friends and
family the less likely you are to think about your ex for long periods of time which
will help you function normally with your day to day activities.

8. Go to bed when you’re tired. I know it sounds a little odd, but going to be
when you’re not tired makes you vulnerable to think about your ex for long
periods of time so try and go to bed only when you are really tired and can fall
asleep quickly.

9. Pamper yourself every morning. Each morning when you wake up, give
yourself permission to do something special like having a nice long hot shower or
going to breakfast with a friend. This will help get your mind off your ex in the
early morning and keep it from wandering.}

 10. Keep a thoughts and feelings diary or journal for the month during your no
contact phase. Now the rule is that you’re only allowed to write in it once per day
so don’t try and cheat and use your allocated ‘ex hourly thinking’ time. The goal
for you here is to read your progress each week until the full month has passed so
that you can clearly measure how far you’ve come since the breakup.

Click here for more information on how to get your ex back quickly
     10 Ways to Improve Your No Contact Experience after a Breakup

The Bottom Line

 Your ex will still wait for you if they’re serious about getting back together. If
they’re not, then you’re escaping from a whole heap of pain. If you’re not feeling
any better, which I will be amazed by if you’ve really been following the
suggestions, ask yourself why not. How much have you really been thinking about
your ex? How closely have you pursued the strategies? Give it some serious
thought, and consider trying again.

Learn more tips on how you can reverse the clock and start over again with your
ex using the MOMU system - a guide that has helped over 50,000 couples in 77
countries worldwide overcome the heartbreak of a breakup and get back
together in fulfilling and committed relationships.

The MOMU Guide – Chapter 2: Don’t Panic – Your Key to Winning Back Their Love (Getting Your Head
On Straight)

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