Hub Posts Monday

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					Hub Posts Monday 3/3/03
sasha Monday, 3/3/03, 10:18 PM

((((TRACY)))) sent you an email..YOU ARE WORTH IT...you keep posting and just let out what is ever on your mind dear
freind!! That may help you cleanse your thoughts because this illness just LOVES to make us feel bad about our selves.....and
you deserve BETTER THEN THIS ILLNESS!!! We are here for you no matter what you may be thinking right now...many of us
have thought that way at one time...until we finally broke through the lies this ILLNESS feeds us.just know we are HERE....love
YSIR Melissa

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


Tracy Monday, 3/3/03, 9:59 PM

Thank you to everyone who hugged me and welcomed me back. If I ever stop crying I might make a decent contribution to the
message board. I had a really really really bad day....anger at so many. I was so angry today that I shook like a cold dog. Of
course, given my misery, I had to go "relax" in the casino, lose money and feel miserable. I am never going to be able to work
this program. I have never been able to control my addictions. I don't know why I think I can even try now. Just a waste of
time and resources that could be better spent on someone who is living in thw real world.

From: st louis
E-mail: tmcoyle@aol.com
Last Day Gambled: 3/3/03


Genek Monday, 3/3/03, 9:35 PM

Just remembered I hadn't posted "Congratulations to alll reaching a milestone today ((Delores)) 60 days!!And thanks for the
great pictures from KC And a (((Sasha Hug)) to all. Good night, Love,Genek

From: NJ
E-mail: Kgene1923@aol.com
sasha Monday, 3/3/03, 9:18 PM

Just wanted to send out a hug....and the thought that I love this place because we are all different and share in that difference.
I would like to mention that even if we are in disagreement for one reason or another, I enjoy that kind of sharing...regardless
because we only share because we all care. Thus, to the brother I disagreed with, (((HUGS)) for you and thank you for allowing
me to express my self to you. You are an important part to my recovery and I embrace our differences....you help me grow and
accept those differences and smile. I am an imperfect person...I send lots of love to you. Melissa

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


Suzanne Monday, 3/3/03, 9:05 PM

One day at a Time seems to be the answer for everything I've been having dreams of gambling lately and I really hate that.
Been a little stressed and that seems how my mind deals with it but that okay I wake up to ONLY a dream and very thankful for
that. I want gambling to stay that way. I never want to use gambling to escape my daily life. I look at things this way now: I
still play the same golf course (life), but I just have different clubs (my new GA way of thinking) which makes playing this game
totally different. Hope all are well.

From: Mckinney Texas
Last Day Gambled: 7/28/02


Okiemaw Monday, 3/3/03, 9:02 PM

(((Sasha))) I can not find your email address. Please, email me. OK ?

From: Ok.
E-mail: okiema@brightok.net


Linda C Monday, 3/3/03, 9:02 PM

Good evening hubsters! I have to say I had a really good day today. Decided to stop beating myself up and move forward.
Tried to be very conscious of my actions and keep a positive attitude. Also turned it all over to my HP (GOD) and he is sooo
good to me. Heck if he can forgive me guess I can forgive myself. So thankful for another chance. Want to thank everyone for
their posts. I seem to learn something from everyone of them. Having a support system here and at home makes recovery so
much better. My heart aches for those who do not have the support from their loved ones but be strong and I pray that one
day soon you will win back that trust and have your families backing you up 100% also. Take care all, we are so worth it! oh,
and thanks for tucking us in Sasha with your evening hug. I so feel it! Nite all, Linda C

From: Wi
E-mail: lindacal2001@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 3-1-03


Okiemaw Monday, 3/3/03, 8:53 PM

Great meeting tonight ...made me cry. So much love in the chat room         tonight !!! I'm really suprised my computer didn't
explode! hehehe...I read all the great posts here today, got to see the     pics of KC, and there is nothing I can say that somebody
else hasn't already said, except..Ditto, Ditto, Ditto. And, I really mean   that!! Seriously, if we all (New & Experienced CGS, alike)
keep reading,learning,and sharing the GA way, we can make it. I plan        to stick around. One day at a time. Very grateful here.
YFIR...Diana

From: Oklahoma
E-mail: okiema@brightok.net
Last Day Gambled: 1/29/03 ODAAT


Charlie P Monday, 3/3/03, 8:49 PM

Charlie P here an RCG. Yes the nite huggs feel good for sure, and the heartfelt "Unconditional Love" is just what is so powerful
and awsome with this program....Went to my old room meeting tonight, 7-8 new faces for me as I was a new face for them
too. It was a pretty good meeting. They werent sure if I really knew about GA, so they asked me to go through the 20
questions. I still answer yes to 18 of the 20 questions. Nite all, YBIR Charlie P and yes I will be back...:)

E-mail: cp044@bellsouth.net
Last Day Gambled: 2/23/03
sasha Monday, 3/3/03, 8:20 PM

((((RELLA))) you came but left so quickly....no worries sister!! I AM PRAYING FOR YOUR SAFE RETURN HOME!!! You will do it,
WE KNOW YOU WILL.....keep the faith sister!!!!!! ((MARC)) ^five brother dear!! Strength love and PEACE WITH YOU ALL!! Love
Melissa

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


NIGHT HUGS and PRAYERS to the HUB FAMILY AND THOSE CG's around the world Monday, 3/3/03, 8:02 PM

(((((AletaE, Amber, AnitaA,, Ann, Anna, AnnaC, Arnie W, Audrey, Barb, Barbara-Rella, BeckyB, BevR, Brandy, Brenda , Brenda
A, Brenda R, Brett, Cali, Cole, Colleen, Carole, CarolynK, Charlie K, CharlieP, Cindy D, Cindy H, CindyW, Collette, Dal B, Dan,
Dave, Dboy, Dean, Deb B, Deb D, Deb G, , Delores, Denise, DennisP, Dina, Don C, DonnaC, Dr. Jim, Dodger, Dorothe, Emjay,
GaryK, GeneK, Gordon D. Gramers, Howie C, Jake A,Janie J, Jaybird, JayL, Jennifer, Jeannie, Jim A, Jim K, Joeanne, John H,
JoniB, Jude, Kat, Katielyn, Kathy, Kinnon, Lanie, LdyQP, Lenett, Lily , Linda C, Liz, Lloyd, Lu S, Madge, Marc, Marie, Mark, Mark
M, Marty, Mary, Mary J, Marym downunder, MattW, Max H, , Melissa- sasha, Michelle, Miranda, Nancy M, Okiemaw, Pat L,
Patty, Paula, Pete, Rachel, Ramona, RandyM, Ray H, ReneeB, ReneeC, Rich_DET, Richr, Rose, Sal, Sandy, SandyK, Scott, R,
Skogie1999, SharonJ, Sheila L, S Jane, Sorry, Suzanne, Sue, SusanP, Steve, Steven, SylviB, Tara, Tino (sidepocketkid), Tna-
Tina, Todd, Tom P, TomS, Tracy, Valorie, Vel M, VickiB, Wayne, Williamk, Wilma, Ymg/Ymg and EVERYONE)))))<132>

Last Day Gambled: ONE DAY AT A TIME


EmJay Monday, 3/3/03, 8:02 PM

Good night dear friends.....(((Carole))) thanks for the card so refreshing and soothing...Am off to bed for tomorrow is back to
work....I love you all 'A BUSHELL AND A PECK AND A (((HUG))) AROUND THE NECK. Love EmJay


sasha Monday, 3/3/03, 7:55 PM

LOVE THAT AVERAGE COMPULSIVE GAMBLER post!! THANK YOU WHO EVER YOU ARE!! S
Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


Average Compulsive Gambler Monday, 3/3/03, 7:21 PM

Tough is walking into that first meeting, DOUBLE tough is slipping and returning. But oh how GOOD you will feel and THEN you
truly understand what is meant, by "Unconditional Love and Acceptance"+++++++++ "We're SO glad you're here and
welcome back"

From: Everywhere in the world
Last Day Gambled: 1min, hour, day, week, year, decade


marc Monday, 3/3/03, 6:45 PM

((sasha)) i really think you are a real breath of freash air here at the hub!! you make everyone feel at home here,old and new
members!! keep up the great attitude, it really can be catching!!! thanks, marc


sasha Monday, 3/3/03, 6:24 PM

((Marc)) Thanks for that post. I feel exactly the way you do. I became protective of the sister that filed last week. We all just
have to do what is going to work for us. One brother was really helpful because he had mentioned pressure relief and even sent
some details on that process. ((Corole)) I am in agreement with you too. ((EMJAY)) just because!! Love, s

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


carole Monday, 3/3/03, 6:08 PM

thanks Marc and Barbara, I have to use medication for a very real condition,bi-polar illness, and we must not be flip about such
things, I have never,judged anyone who files for bankruptcy, what people have to do is their business, this is a place of sharing
and I too have said things in the past I shouldn't have, so I am just here to hug anyone feeling like, well, here to hug anyone
feeling out of sorts tonight. p.s. I took no offense to the medication posts, just felt for anyone out there who really needs meds,
hope that their HP would help them decide what to do..we are ALL allowed our own opinions,sometimes in the beginning of my
posting here, I was toooooooooo open with my thoughts, I tend to be a wee more cautious now, MY OPINION..everyone have a
blessed night, Carole


marc Monday, 3/3/03, 5:59 PM

hello all rcgs, i dont usally make comment about anyones post as far as my personal feeling, but i do think that some of the
things that are said to people that chose to file bankruptcy can tend to over critizise way to much. for some, including myself, it
was the only option avilable to repair some of our situtions at the time. that does not mean we are anyway trying to "get out of
anything" just that for our well being, mentally as well as phisicaly,it is there for that purpose, to get a new start in life , like a
life rope to a drowning soul! it is true, this addiction has caused us all to make mistakes, some of which we can never
overcome, some we do. bankrubtcy laws were passed to help people like us, hard working,tax paying americans,that have
fallen on hard times and need help to get back on the road to recovery! i am not crtizing anyones post, as i know that know one
here would try to make anyone feel bad intentionly i am sure! thank you for you time and stay safe and god bless. marc

From: ar
Last Day Gambled: 10-01-02


EmJay Monday, 3/3/03, 5:59 PM

(((Delores))) (((Sasha))) Thank you for the reinforcing of the love and understanding on this hub....How absolutly fantastic to
be a part of such wonderful people...(Sasha) you nor anyone else really offended me I just thought that maybe I had done
things backwards, horse before the cart, so to speak. I guess that is part od my problem I am afraid people will think bad when
I have done or do something wrong...Aproblem I have had all my life...have a strong desire to be accepted..I have trouble
dealing with rejection..(((hugs dear friends))) EmJay

Last Day Gambled: 1/26/03


Rella-aka-Barbara Monday, 3/3/03, 5:53 PM

Okay gang...its been a week tomorrow for me...hurrrah!!! What I worry about is whether I really have the willpower or if I'm
not going jsut becuz I don't have any money left! What I mean is this, if I hadn't used all of our money...visa, sold a house, my
entire last weeks paycheck..and if I still had access to some cash..would I go??? I really hope not. I truly hope and pray that I
am not staying out of there not because I don't have the cash, but instead because I AM STRONG. It will be a real test when I
do have money again to see if my heart is really sincere in wanting to stop. I so do believe it is..I just analyse everything I do
for motive...I'ts a bit crzy. NO matter what I am HAPPY that I have not used my 40 in my wallet trying to win 400..or found a
way to get $$...I think God is really on my side and angels are riding in my car with me. I am at work right now..doing a paper
and I have a lecture in 10 mins...gotta go...Please say a prayer that I won't stop by the bright lights of the casino I have to
pass on my way home.. I don't think I will..I just can't keep being so weak and then hating myself. Love you all....and I really
enjoy reading all of your posts. As far as bankrupcy goes...or medication...or anything else..no one can tell another person
what is best for them...and I think it is important not to judge one another negatively..least we be judged ourselves. It's all
good, really...we're alive and have lots of love from this little group... Catch you all later... Love and Peace always... Realla

From: WA
E-mail: barblensch@hotmail.com
Last Day Gambled: 2/25/03


sasha Monday, 3/3/03, 5:30 PM

((EMJAY)) NO WAY DO WE FEEL DIFFERENT. Earlier last week, one of our sisters claimed bankruptcy, and one of our brothers
said that was only a bailout and not condusive to her recovery. I had made a comment about bankruptcy because I did not
agree with our brother....figuring we are not in anyones shoes and I was a bit protective of the sister...we have to do what is
going to help us. The reason I wrote this is because I saw the COP OUT piece and that was what I had used in my email. I
wasnt trying to say if those that claimed chapter 7 were cop outs, but perhaps some may think that way...I am sorry if I said
anything to make you feel bad. I suppose I was trying to make a point with our brother here, that my words and way of writing
came out that way..I am sorry to you and anyone here that I have offened. ((EMJAY)) I also went to a Bankruptcy attorney.
Unfortunately with my income, I could not file for Chapter 7. I could, however file for Chapter 13. (that was a point I was
makiing in my earlier post to the brother)...BUT I would have had to pay 4000K a month...and the money I borrow from my
friend would have to be included....so I bit the bullet and opted not to go the Bankruptcy route, however, if everything fit into
place, I may have. Our sister on here claimed chapter 13 and has to make payments each month, so I just wanted that brother
to know that she did not clear off her debt, but that she is paying toward her debt on a different schedule and time frame.
Sometimes I believe posts may get misinterpreted..therefore I am sorry and I DO NOT THINK YOU DID ANYTHING BUT WHAT
YOU NEEDED TO DO and you DID GOOD. Thanks, Melissa

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03
Delores Monday, 3/3/03, 4:54 PM

CONGRATS TO ALL THOSE REACHING MILESTONES TODAY! (((EMJAY))) 36 DAYS! Wow! And we are not here to judge what
you have done...thanks for being so honest! (((CINDY D))) I'm so sorry about your job. HUGE HUGS! (((ANN))) I can so relate
to telling your husband. I didn't know what he would do. He was upset, and felt betrayed, but he came around. He's incharge of
all money matters now. You would know what your husband may do, more than I do, but after 24 years of marriage, he may
not leave. Spouse's get angry, but I think most come around if they care about you. I know once I FINALLY told mine, it was
like a ton of bricks had been lifted from my shoulders. No more lies or secrets were left, and I felt so much better.... although it
was uncomfortable around the house for a little bit. We care about you!!!! Keep coming back!!! YSIR Delores

From: Twin Cities, MN
E-mail: mntoots@msn.com
Last Day Gambled: 1/1/03


EmJay Monday, 3/3/03, 4:45 PM

me again....Sorry but thought of something else that has come up recently and that is the subject of bankruptcy....Maybe it
was a cop out but I did file on my own bills a year ago but I had tried to go to credit counseling and the amont I would have to
pay was still more than I made at my job and hubby pulled all of his money away from me and took over the bills plus I had to
pay the card that was in his name (still am) because he didn't even know I had it..that is why he doesn't trust me...anyways I
felt I had to do it because he was threatening to kick me out and I knew I couldn't make it with all those payments.....This is
the second time I have filed bankruptcy and I was not happy about either decission the first one was due to my car accident
and I was a single mother of three with a huge hospital bill that I had no way of paying but I did pay off all the other
bills......but this time it was my stupidity that sent me there..There is still a student loan that I am still responsible to pay
because it can't be included in a bankruptcy...I hope this doesn't change how everyone feels about me being a part of this hub
because I have come to relate to all of you and to love you all..thanks for listening...EmJay


EmJay Monday, 3/3/03, 4:32 PM

Hello ((((all)))).Glad to be here today and still gamble free...Ann I am on day 36 and still remember my first week without
gambleing...it was a daily struggle with my innerself...for the whole month I would get on her and post my own small
"milestone" just hoping that someone would notice and coment and they always did..that gave me the satisfaction that some
one somewhere cared about me even though they didn't know me....thank you wonderful people on this hub!!!!!!!I too worried
about being wuthout a home (still do from time to time) but slowly my husband has mellowed out a little....unfortunately he
doesn't grasp the difference in abstinence and recovery...he think that all I have to do is say I won't do it again and because I
gave my word that should be the end..and anything normal it would but this isn't a normal sickness!!!! Hng in there g/f and
just keep praying and maintaining you will make it believe it....Yesterday I attended a shower for some friends that lost
everything to a fire about a month ago...They raffled off a ring with the proceeds going to the couple...I knew that was a form
of gambling and passed on it my husband got a little upset that I didn't buy a chance just tpld him I couldn't...he was drinking
so I will explain my reason later when he can (or will) listen....yes it went to a good cause but was still abet of sorts...like the
toy machine...You know as I have been reading the posts I remember how important it is to me to be recognized each time I
reach another milestone and realized I have failed to recognize those that are out there doing it too. Soooooooooooooo
(((((((BELATED CONGRATS TO ALL THOSE WONERFUL PEOPLE WHO HAVE REACHED MILESTONES YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION
TO MANY OF US THAT ARE FOLLOWING IN YOUR FOOT STEPS)))))) GOTTA LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!!!!!!!! I don't
mean to be a lame brain it is just that most of the time whem I get on here I am either in a hurry to get ready for work or just
returning and my mind hasn't finished shifting gears...but I know this hub and all of you have been my mainstay this month
and gives me something to look forward too....I am totally enjoying not scratching and having money (not much money) for a
change it is so nice not to have to worry about little things. ..

From: NM
E-mail: mbarela@desertgate.com
Last Day Gambled: 1/26/03


ANN Monday, 3/3/03, 2:59 PM

WELL IT HAS BEEN ONE WEEK TODAY I JUST HAVE TO PRAY I KEEP IT UP I KNOW IN MY HEART THIS TIME I WILL. I AM
THINKING ABOUT TALKING TO MY PHYCOLIGIST I HAVE BEEN 3 TIMES I GO BACK THURSDAY MY PAIN MGT DR. HAD ME
START GOING TO HELP DEAL WITH MY CHRONIC PAIN,SHE JUST DOESNT KNOW ABOUT ALL THE OTHER PAIN I AM IN.WELL I
ALMOST LOST IT THIS EVENING ABOUT 2 WEEKS AGO MY HUSBANDS BROTHER ASK HIM IF HE WOULD TAKE A LOAN OUT
FOR HIM FOR 5000.00 AND HE WOULD PAY IT BACK BY THE SUMMER WELL OUR CREDIT ISNOT GOOD RIGHT NOW AND THE
SAD THING IS NO MY HUSBAND DOESNT KNOW IT ANTWAY HE ASK ME TO CHECK INTO IT AND I CALLED MY HUSBANDS
WIFE TOLD HER WE COULDNT BUT THE NEXT NITE MY HUSBAND GOES FISHING HIS BROTHER ASK HIM ABOUT IS HE STILL
CHECKING ON IT WELL THEN MY HUSBAND ASK ME AND I SAID SHARON TOLD ME NOT TO WORRY ABOUT ANOTHER LIE SO
TODAY I CALLED THE BROTHER TO TELL HIM WE CANT AND HE GETS MAD AND WANTS ME TO HAVE MY HUSBAND CALL HIM
WELL YOU KNOW I AM UPSET SO I TALKED TO MY SISTER AND SHE CALLED HIM HE SAID HE WOULDNOT MENTION ANYTHING
TO MY HUSBAND THANK THE LORD I KNOW I NEED TO TELL HIM BUT I JUST KNOW HE WOULD LEAVE ME WHY SHOULDNT
HE.HAVE ANY OF YOU NOT BEEN AFRAID TO TELL YOUR?WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 24 YEARS IN APRIL, I USE TO BE THE
TYPE THAT SAVED REAL GOOD I AM GONNA DO IT AGAIN IT WILL JUST TAKE ME A LITTLE LONGER.I JUST CANT DEAL WITH
HIM LEAVING ME RIGHT NOW THATS WHERE WE ARE DIFFERENT I THINK I WOULD STICK BY HIM NO MATTER WHAT HE
WOULDNOT UNDERSTAND WHY I DID IT BUT I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY EITHER.WE OWN OUR HOME AND VEHICLES BUT I
OWE LOANS AND CREDIT CARDS HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW ABOUT SOME IN HIS NAME TO THATS HOW I LET THIS HORRIBLE
MONSTER GET A HOLD ON ME. BUT I AM GOING TO TAKE CONTROL STARTING LAST MONDAY MY LDG THANK YOU ANN

From: N.C
E-mail: DAHALIA3AOL.COM
Last Day Gambled: FEB.24/03


AnnaC Monday, 3/3/03, 2:53 PM

Hi All. Sometimes I just don't have the right words to post but want you to know (((Cindy))thinking about you and praying for
you. ((Barbara)) transportation can be so frustrating at times...and expensive. ((Delores))thank you for the site and photos you
are all an awesome group of hubbers!! My co-worker just gave me her 90 day keychain today and we went to lunch. She told
me about a friend she met this weekend who is working on 2 year ldg. They just met randomly. On a sad note, another friend
called and is in the process of a divorce and her mom just had a stroke and her dad is having medical complications too. Man
oh man I have such a hard time not being able to try and fix our worlds problems....I can't even fix my own. Read these posts
and hey...thank you for reminding me I need to toss this up to my HP and pray and trust that these things are in his/her hands.

Last Day Gambled: 12/2/02


marym Monday, 3/3/03, 2:52 PM

Back again. (((CINDY))) Just read your post, keep your chin up dear sister. Remember when one door closes another one
opens......(((((HUGS))))). QUOTE FOR THE DAY: MINDS ARE LIKE PARACHUTES, THEY ONLY FUNCTIO WHEN THEY ARE
OPEN......Thomas Dewar. More (((((((HUGS))))))) to evryone, YSIR Mary

From: Australia


marym Monday, 3/3/03, 2:40 PM
Good gamble free day dear family, Mary here CG, but by the grace of God I am so much more
today**************************My cup runneth over today, the posts and the pictures from K.C. were awesome. I am so
full of gratitude to be part of this loving family. (((JAYBIRD))) Looking so proud with his sponsette chicks, gotta love it....smiles.
I feel so isolated over here not being able to meet any of you in person, but you are all in my heart and maybe one day, if it is
in God's plan for me it will happen. Oh how I would love to share a cup of coffee with (((JONI))) on her porch, or receive one of
those big hugs from (((JAYBIRD))) and to meet (((ST. PATTY))) (there is always a great woman behind every man LOL) and a
trip to Linda P's candle shop would definately be on the agenda (miss her sooooo much), just dreams of the compulsive
gambler at the moment, but in God's world and recovery nothing is impossible. Remember, if any of you should grace our
shores don't forget to look me up, that is an open invitation to anyone.************Goals give me direction on my journey,
but the journey itself gives me the daily satisfaction of knowing I have worked the programme of recovery . With God's
guidance if I live each day as it comes it makes the destination a whole lot easier. This is a journey without end, I will not
forget that every moment of every day is a gift from God, how I use it is up to me. If I attend to the journey along the way the
goal I reach will be that much sweeter. If I STOP worrying about the future, LOOK at what is happening today, LISTEN for the
spiritual guidance that will see me reach my goals. In fact if I TRUST THE PROCESS it will make my life so much
easier.********************CONGRATULATIONS!!! To all those reaching a milestone today YAHOOOOOOOO clap clap clap,
YOU are sooo WORTH IT.(((CAROLE))) We do what we have to do to keep a balance in our lives, it sure seems to be working
for you dear sister. (((CHARLIE P))) Thankyou for your inspirational posts. You are so dedicated to the HUB it is good to see
you posting your journey. (((HOWIE C))) What can I say... your dedication to recovery is awesome. I wanna be just like you
when I grow up.....smiles. (((COLLETTE))) So pleased to hear you are going to F2F meeting, you will never be alone again. As
for that hug, God works in mysterious ways....smiles. (((KAT))) (((JENNIFER))) (((WAYNE))) (((S.JANE))) just
because.......(((SYLVI B))) Thanks for your heartfelt report on the conference, what a beautiful smile you have. (((JIM A))) Your
eoulogy to your brother brought tears to my eyes. How lucky Henry was to have had a brother like you. Thankyou for the
celebration of his life. To all who post here, whether you have 1 day or 1000 days, YOU are very special to my recovery, as our
dear friend Pete says, I am you, you are me. I am so grateful to my Higher Power for leading me to this HUB. Praying you all
make that healthy choice when you wake in the morning and join me on this awesome journey of recovery. Lots of love and
great big bear ((((((HUGS)))))) YSIR Down Under, Mary.

From: Australia
E-mail: lollylady@operamail.com
Last Day Gambled: 20th July 1999


Vicki B Monday, 3/3/03, 2:23 PM

Good Afternoon, CGHub Family! I am a grateful compulsive gambler, no bets today! I just stopped in to read, and took a
gander at Delores' pictures of KC mini-conference. Such an Awesome Bunch...what joy there is in recovery...hearts connecting
to hearts! I will be going to Portland in a few weeks, and Toronto in May. Barb, I hope to find a way to Chi town, too!
Conferences are so energizing! Hope to see each of you at one some time soon! I am going to a Third Step GA meeting tonight.
I need to meet f2f, as well as comine here for my connections. Wishing all a marvelous night. Love, Hugs, and Prayers, Vicki B

From: MI
E-mail: human53@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 10/11/02


Vicki B Monday, 3/3/03, 2:18 PM

From: MI
E-mail: human53@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 10/11/02


Vicki B Monday, 3/3/03, 2:17 PM

From: MI
E-mail: human53@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 10/11/02


Sasha Monday, 3/3/03, 2:01 PM

OOPS forgot to put my name and LDG on my previous post!! ((CINDYD))JUST read your post!! I am sorry you have been
impacted by work. I am praying for you and know that your HP will be carrying you and your family through this. I too may be
impacted at the end of this month...I am preparing if that happens!! I have seen the job market improve in my area, but I still
have friends looking...over 1 year now...BUT YOU ARE RIGHT, HP is there Cindy, my friends are still doing okay and they own
their homes....things are working out for them and they are surviving this situation and YOU WILL TOO....I will too when the
time comes!!! Love S

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03
Monday, 3/3/03, 1:53 PM

SO GLAD TO READ YOUR POST ((BARB))..Reinforces the fact that RECOVERY DOES ROCK FOR US ALL ((Amber)) so right you
are......and I loved the anology you made about the road!!! ((Dolores)) Love that positive attitude!! ((EVERYONE)) We all have
are challenging days, days we dont feel like working on our recoveries, day was just throw in the towel and say THE HECK
WITH IT....But, when I read posts that show people working their recovery, that so inspires me and I hope you all can read it
that way too. Those who have slipped, INSPIRE ME...because those are the experience of REAL LIFE. The experience they share
with us helps me tremendously..the leverage I have given my self is this- when I was on the brink of a total breakdown to go to
the casino, I THOUGHT ABOUT ALL OF YOU!!!! I thought, what will I tell my HUB Family? I know they will accept me with open
arms and they will HUG me...I thought about how PROUD I felt when I hit that 30 day mark, but I was even PROUD when I had
that ONE MINUTE, that ONE HOUR of non gamble time. AND even when I DO NOT THINK that BINGO is a compulsion for me, I
did not go with my friend.....so all this sharing, the UPS and the DOWNS have truly touched me..MORE SO THAN YOU MAY
THINK......I still look back on that FRIDAY, where I was driving to the CASINO and smile because you have all had a great
IMPACT on my life. I yes, I KNOW, I TRULY KNOW, the desperation, the depression, the fear of being in action.....I too was in
such a state of MESS, that I thought, WHAT THE HECK AM I GOING TO DO!!! WHY WHY WHY??? DID IT DO THIS TO MY LIFE!!!
and I still suffer the consequences for my actions....THE ONE important thing I have learned this past month is- ODAAT and
patience and HARD WORK to maitain my non gamble vigil. AND sure it will take time for my finances to get back into shape...I
have to wait for six months before I can lower my interest rates and I need to give my self two to three years before I would
even consider buying a home or new car....why, because my shot my great credit rating!!! TOO bad we are not given a second
chance and TOO bad I allowed this illness to make me fear calling my credit card companies!! BUT I know have to work on
cleaning up the mess I made. I ask, AM I ANGRY....my reply is ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! I am GRATEFUL......although I may have
been very scared and upset at one point, this illness actually helped me....helped me recognize what I needed to do....so in
fact, I now thank it for pushing me as far as it did.....Therefore, today, I embrace this illness for what it is...and tomorrow I
may want to kick the crap out of it, burn it, bury it, hate it, LOL BUT FOR TODAY I embrace it....by embracing it today, I do not
allow it to take over my life. LOVE YOU ALL S.


Cindy D Monday, 3/3/03, 1:52 PM

Afternoon all, after spending an amazing weekend at the KC conference, filled with so much hope, today I get a dose of real life
reality and have become one of the UNEMPLOYED. I have spent the last couple of hours thinking about it, turning it over and
over in my mind, (what in the hell are we gonna do now, as we need every dollar to survive right now.) Damn the money! I am
very upset, but have come to the conclusion that this was is my HP's plans and he will see to it that things are taken care of. I
just need to stay out of his way and let him do his job. Tis a test and I intend on letting my recovery get me through this. YSIR,
Cindy

From: Kansas
E-mail: duffyschat@holtonks.net
Last Day Gambled: 10/28/02


Barb Monday, 3/3/03, 1:27 PM

Hi everybody, Barb here still a CG working on recovery ODAAT. Just got a dose of real life here. Our SUV has been leaking and
we have have to replace the radiator and a few other things $800 worth. Things like this would of sent me to the boat, but not
today. Have the money to get it fixed and I don't have to worry about where the money will come from. What a great feeling!!!!
Recovery does Rock. Thanks for the step by step insight of the KC conference. Can't wait until the Chicago Con. in a month.
Conferences are good for the soul. Are any of you planning to come to Chicago? If you are we should plan on meeting and have
a therapy. Meet Joni and Charlie that way 2 years ago was great. Things here have been going Ok except for the truck, Gods
way to make sure I stay on my toes. Went to my spiritual step meeting on Saturday, worked on step 2. Was suppose to sing
tonight, but can't do it without transportation and the weather is getting ugly out here. I am so grateful for this sight as I have
anyone to call when stuff like the car comes up, at least here I can say what I feel. Really love you all and all the hope and
tools you provide. Still not smoking, but sure would like one right now. (maybe even 2) Hope all have a gamble free rest of the
day. Thanks again for being here. YSIR Barb

From: Chgo Subs
E-mail: brbdncr@attbi.com
Last Day Gambled: 12/16/02


sasha Monday, 3/3/03, 1:21 PM

DELORES!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR 60 days...that is 1440 hours of non gambling time and 86,400 minutes of non
gambling time!! That is certainly a great accomplishiment!!! Love s


Amber Monday, 3/3/03, 1:20 PM

Hi ((ALL)).........(((((((KAT))))))).....I know,we all know, how hard it is to stop. I share your grief and your remorse, and wish
that I had magical words that could take away your pain. Although everyone's journey differs slightly in recovery, the
destination is the same. I am glad that you are here, and that you can share your pain here with people who can identify with
you. I have heard over and over again that no one can really understand what being a compulsive gambler is like, unless they
have lived it. Know that I live it with you, and I walk in recovery with you. All we can do is take one small step at a time, to
keep on trying, and just for today not gamble. In my mind, I like to envision all of the steps that the ones before me have
taken.....all of their steps have formed miles and miles of comfy, wide double lane highway for me to travel upon with rest
stops and shelters along the way for when I grow weary. This road, (their road) is soooo much easier to travel than the one I
was trying to make all by myself. I am sooooo grateful that it is there for me......ysir Amber

Last Day Gambled: the last day of my old life


Sasha Monday, 3/3/03, 1:18 PM

((ANNA)) I went to the site and copied the link here for you...I hope it works!! Love S
http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml? journal=myserenity&itemid=14646#cutid1


Delores Monday, 3/3/03, 1:16 PM

(((ANNA))) Click on the link below to see the Kansas City Pics! I just talked with (((DEMARIS))). She lives in my area, (((TOM
S))) gave me her number, and she & I are planning a meeting this week! She's a cool lady, I'm hoping she posts soon out here,
she has so much to offer, and she has over 2 years in the program! It's a good day. I took part of the day off today being I
have to work part of the day on Friday. Took a nap! It was a big weekend. There's so many things I want to work on right now,
the weekend gave me so much food for thought. The biggest thing is that I have the need to get out of myself and become a
part of things by getting involved, and this is the first time I've felt this way in my 60 days.... You all (((SASHA'S LIST))) have
a wonderful day! And all of you lurkers out there, we need you too, and would love to hear from you! YSIR Delores

From: Twin Cities, MN
Web Site: KANSAS CITY PICS!
E-mail: mntoots@msn.com
Last Day Gambled: 1/1/03


Sasha Monday, 3/3/03, 1:12 PM
HELLO HUB FAMILY: I am a RCG who has chosen the path to salvation and happiness. Had to catch up on my post readings. I
too write notes and YES sometimes I cant even read what I wrote...so back to the posts to read. CONGRATULATIONS on those
who have hit their milestones today!!!! ((JIMA)) thank you for sharing your tribute to your brother Henry!!!! (((SJane, Tracy,
Ann, LindaC, Wayne, Kat, Lanie, CharlieP and all those facing challenges today)) Thank you for allowing us to be here for you.
This illness would love it if you isolated yourselves, but you did not..you came here and posted your thoughts and challenges!!!
I have you all close in my prayers. The list I post is the HUB LIST...and everyone can add to this list....remember, we are not
alone!! I too go through the motions of feeling alone, but I know it is because I allow my self to feel alone. To those who are
experiencing a deep depression and cannot shake that feeling, please talk with your doctor....I only say this because depression
can be a physical situation that your doctor can help you with. I always keep myself in check...if I feel depression and it lasts
for two or more weeks, than I know that I may need to speak with my doctor..that has not happened yet..I typically get over it
within a few hours. I have had freinds that have lived feeling depressed for months, even years....they have found help through
their doctors and feel better today. I have recognized that this illness can trigger so many emotions and feelings within each of
us...and each of us deals with them in different ways...one thing may work for one person, but does not work for someone else.
But, as someone mentioned here recently, this illness can lead to people harming themselves....why, because it likes to
ISOLATE us...so please, if someone out there is feeling so down and low, that they cannot hold their heads up and this feeling
has lingered on for many days or weeks, KNOW you are not alone and please seek professional help for depression. I know so
many great people that have and their lives have changed for the best. They work each day to recognize how to deal with their
emotions. (((Delores))) thank you for the updates and the PICTURES!! Loved seeing all those SMILING FACES looking back at
me on this monitor!! ((ANNAC)) how was DINNER? I am sure you had a great time with your in-laws.((Anna)) you liked that
2160 hours eh...thought that would put a great perpective on your six months!! yipee((Michelle)) way to go gf!! Love reading
your posts, thank you for sharing what you are embarking on...that is cool. ((AletaE, LindaC, Marc, Sandy, Wilma, Rella, JakeA,
Amber, GeneK, Carole, Dave, RichR, Valorie, Howeie C, Vicki B, Colletee, DalB, Charlie K, Jennifer, SylviB, John H, JayL, Sue,
Mark, Jonib, Patty, CindyD, MaryM) Hope I did not forget anyone!!! Let me know. Thank you for your posts, I read them
today...some had me laughing, some had me thinking, some had me crying but most of all, I felt the warmth, love and support
from you all for those who are struggling. I also read the support for those who are succeeding, for those positive
reinforcements as SO important to our recovery as well!!!!Strength, peace and LOVE to each and everyone of you!!!! You are
my family and I am here for you anytime!! Love S

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


Double DOSE of LOVE, PRAYERS and HUGS- Just becasue we need them sometimes Monday, 3/3/03, 12:29 PM

(((((AletaE, Amber, AnitaA,, Ann, Anna, AnnaC, Arnie W, Audrey, Barb, Barbara-Rella, BeckyB, BevR, Brandy, Brenda , Brenda
A, Brenda R, Cali, Cole, Colleen, Carole, CarolynK, Charlie K, CharlieP, Cindy D, Cindy H, CindyW, Collette, Dal B, Dan, Dave,
Dboy, Dean, Deb B, Deb D, Deb G, , Delores, Denise, DennisP, Dina, Don C, DonnaC, Dr. Jim, Dodger, Dorothe, Emjay, GaryK,
GeneK, Gordon D. Gramers, Howie C, Jake A,Janie J, Jaybird, JayL, Jennifer, Jeannie, Jim A, Jim K, Joeanne, John H, JoniB,
Jude, Kat, Katielyn, Kathy, Kinnon, Lanie, LdyQP, Lenett, Lily , Linda C, Liz, Lloyd, Lu S, Madge, Marc, Marie, Mark, Marty,
Mary, Mary J, Marym downunder, MattW, Max H, , Melissa-sasha, Michelle, Miranda, Nancy M, Okiemaw, Pat L, Patty, Paula,
Pete, Rachel, Ramona, RandyM, Ray H, ReneeB, ReneeC, Rich_DET, Richr, Rose, Sal, Sandy, SandyK, Scott, R, SharonJ, Sheila
L, S Jane, Sorry, Suzanne, Sue, SusanP, Steven, SylviB, Tara, Tino (sidepocketkid), Tna-Tina, Todd, TomS, Tracy, Valorie, Vel
M, VickiB, Wayne, Williamk, Wilma, Ymg/Ymg and EVERYONE)))))<128>

Last Day Gambled: ONE DAY AT A TIME


Anna Monday, 3/3/03, 12:27 PM

Where are the KC pictures posted again? Could someone please help? Would love to see them. Thank you.

Last Day Gambled: 12/2/02


Monday, 3/3/03, 11:51 AM

CONGRATULATIONS to milestoners, NormaG are you out there, you were the first person to email me, I just will never, ever
forget that, I hope you are truly hitting a year today, CArole

Carole Monday, 3/3/03, 11:50 AM

ITS WELL INTO THE NEW DAY!!! Carole here, recovering compulsive gambler, and so into my routine, that my serenity was
obstructed until I could get to the Hub..LOL..not really, had some unexpected visitors popping in all week-end..can't say, oh
sorry,you have to leave I need to get to my computer..LOL...((((WAYNE,KAT,SJANE))))in my prayers, as soon as I read your
pleas for help...hang on tight, I so remember those first days..YUCKY!!!!!but can be accomplished, find a local ga meeting, log
on here...do what it takes..:) I thoroughly enjoyed reading the reports of the conference and looking at those beautiful pictures
of fellow travellers on this journey, God Bless you Delores for that..and all of you for the inspiration.To anyone suffering, know
that this too shall pass, JimA, you are quite a guy, thanks for sharing....Vicki, a problem shared is a problem halved, for
sure...(((Jennifer))) so fabulous that your husband was also taken with the week-end..you will all be flying high for awhile.:-)
Years ago, friends in AA invited us to a conference, when the dance started, my husband and I were shocked to see 2000
"sober" people get up to dance, now I understand they were high on life, and their HP's (there's all that coffee and
cigarettes??)..For anyone wondering why I don't get on board with chatting and the telephone, I am not stuck up, but need to
keep balance with my recovery, and my husband is home in the evenings and it would be rude of me to be on the phone
chatting while we could be together, I hope you all understand, another great reason for me to come to the Hub, it never
interferes with our time together..so I am off ....have a great time with the rest of the day, yfir, Carole

From: british columbia, canada
E-mail: carols136@rcgsite.org
Last Day Gambled: march 6/2002


Charlie P Monday, 3/3/03, 11:02 AM

Charlie P here still knocking dust off as I get back on the horse. Yes, the days are struggles, but I know for a fact they will get
better, one day at a time. Going back to my original meeting room tonight. Its close to where I work. I had been back a couple
of times over the past months and no one was there. Maybe time I just go in and read and meditate and see if someone does
show up. Maybe can knock the dust off of the old meeting room walls. But I am hoping someone will be there. The meeting is
at a mental health center, so maybe, thats why folks are fearful to go to meetings there. Most I ever saw there were 4-5 folks.
Never any consistent participants. Time for me to set the example, I guess. Sounds like everyone had a great recovery
weekend. Those things do happen at conferences. Just so powerful. We are a family, just all of us haven't met each other
yet.....Sue, there is a National Conference in Toronto in May. I know some Hubbers will be there. Not sure how far of a drive up
it is for you, if you really want to attend a conference. Jane, please email me if you like. I will try to help you all I can, and
maybe you can help me too. We always manage to help each other here. My LDG date is pretty close to yours. Vel and I have
been staying closely connected also. Well, have to run. Congrats to the milestones, welcome newcomers, happy to see all the
smiles at the KC mini conference. Yes, recovery can bring on the smiles, especially when you with folks that
understand..Huggs, YBIR Charlie P

From: Live in Mississippi
E-mail: cp044@bellsouth.net


Daily HUGS and PRAYERS to ALL Hubsters Monday, 3/3/03, 9:56 AM

(((((AletaE, Amber, AnitaA,, Ann, Anna, AnnaC, Arnie W, Audrey, Barb, Barbara-Rella, BeckyB, BevR, Brandy, Brenda , Brenda
A, Brenda R, Cali, Cole, Colleen, Carole, CarolynK, Charlie K, CharlieP, Cindy D, Cindy H, CindyW, Collette, Dal B, Dan, Dave,
Dboy, Dean, Deb B, Deb D, Deb G, , Delores, Denise, DennisP, Dina, Don C, DonnaC, Dr. Jim, Dodger, Dorothe, Emjay, GaryK,
GeneK, Gordon D. Gramers, Howie C, Janie J, Jaybird, JayL, Jennifer, Jeannie, Jim A, Jim K, Joeanne, John H, JoniB, Jude, Kat,
Katielyn, Kathy, Kinnon, Lanie, LdyQP, Lenett, Lily , Linda C, Liz, Lloyd, Lu S, Madge, Marc, Marie, Mark, Marty, Mary, Mary J,
Marym downunder, MattW, Max H, , Melissa-sasha, Michelle, Miranda, Nancy M, Okiemaw, Pat L, Patty, Paula, Pete, Rachel,
Ramona, Randy, Ray H, ReneeB, ReneeC, Rich_DET, Richr, Rose, Sal, Sandy, SandyK, Scott, R, SharonJ, Sheila L, S Jane,
Sorry, Suzanne, Sue, SusanP, Steven, SylviB, Tara, Tino (sidepocketkid), Tna-Tina, Todd, TomS, Tracy, Valorie, Vel M, VickiB,
Wayne, Williamk, Wilma, Ymg/Ymg and EVERYONE)))))<127>

Last Day Gambled: ONE DAY AT A TIME


Dave Of Beckenham Monday, 3/3/03, 9:52 AM

My name is Dave I am a compulsive Gambler and will be till the day I DIE! As I change my needs change. In entering GA I was
not there because I had an emotional problem! I was there because I had run of money and had no where to go. THen after
hearing stories which I had heard several times before I knew I needed more. Did not know what but I needed it. In
acknowledging things it is a beginning. It is taking some responsability, not denying. Then I became aware that time off did not
mean how far a person was into recovery. It is not time that determines progress but actions. In the old days it was so easy to
sit in wisdom, to look and not do. awareness of myself and the wisdom to move on came with time. How ever simple they
sounded some steps were hard to get into practice. But once achieved I reaped the rewards. Relations built, walls came down,
fears faded confidence took its place, emotional awareness and how to deal came with time. It is not enough for me to just
abstain, I need to do work on myself each day. Once demonstrated I know my path. I use to think that Gambling was exciting.
It was a time when I enjoyed myself. In reality it was the hurt child hiding, not growing up. The sulks were also my
immatuirity. Not willing to cope with situations and life. I face myself each day. I try hard to over come the old habits. I make
effort and try to be enthusiastic in my recovery. Knowing the more effort I put into recovery the more I get out of it. There is
always excuses to avoid facing myself, but it is not the healthy path for me. I am here to learn. To be a part of, to be honest
and sincere as I possible can be today. My spirituallity grows. My life grows as I grow. Love to you all. Dave

From: Uk For Now!
E-mail: gadaveuk@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 1992 August


rich r Monday, 3/3/03, 9:51 AM
Hello again, sorry for the double post. Thanks for the very descriptive report, Sylvi. ~~~ For those who might be struggling
today... first, maybe you can get to a face-to-face/online meeting today. I just got back from my morning AA meeting and I
feel a lot better, plus I immediately apologized to my wife for my poor behavior over the past 24 hours. Don't you know
someone at my AA table had been thru exactly the same situation with his wife and shared it just before I shared? Coincidence?
I don't think so! ~~~ Second, maybe you can call someone (or go to CGhub chatroom). When I got back from my meeting this
morning, I called my sponsor, Jim M. We talked for about 30 minutes, it helps. I like to recommend to folks that there is usually
a 24/7 hotline in their area in case they can't get a hold of someone in the program/CGhub. I believe the number that works in
most states is 1-800-522-4700. (Does anyone have any other 800 numbers that they use???) ~~~ And, lastly, tighten up your
time frame. "All" you need to do is not bet until you go to bed tonight. (I was at an OA all-day workshop several years ago and
the speaker claimed to hold the 'WORLD'S RECORD' for abstinence in the OA program. He was only half kidding us: the record
is 24 HOURS! - ok John H, 25 hours if you count that day in the fall when we set our clocks back!!!) If you can make it until
bedtime, then you can join the grateful many of us (including Howie C) that have logged another miraculous day without a bet.
Please try, you are worth it! ~~~ I'll be back, tomorrow :-)

From: detroit
E-mail: richr121500@yahoo,com
Last Day Gambled: 121500


Howie C. Monday, 3/3/03, 9:16 AM

To Kat, Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real problem gamblers. No one likes to think they are different from
their fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our gambling careers have been characterized by COUNTLESS, VAIN ATTEMPTS
to prove we could gamble like other people. The idea that somehow, someday, WE WILL CONTROL OUR GAMBLING is the
GREAT OBSESSION of every compulsive gambler. The persistence of this ILLUSION is astonishing. Many pursue it into the
gates of prison, insanity or death. ------------------I'm writing this on the posts, because you didn't post your E-Mail address.
Hope you don't mind. But if I don't try and carry the message to the still suffering compulsive gambler, I can't recover.

E-mail: HCBWT@AOL.COM


Vicki B Monday, 3/3/03, 9:06 AM

POSITIVE QUOTE OF THE DAY ----------------------------- "We need a renaissance of wonder. We need to renew, in our hearts
and in our souls, the deathless dream, the eternal poetry, the perennial sense that life is miracle and magic." -- E. Merrill Root-
- And this Gem came in my e-mail today, also... Today's thought is: "Grief may be a pathway to our deepest connections.
People often say, "I don't want to burden you with my troubles, you have enough to worry about." Yet sharing our troubles with
our partner or close friends lightens our burden and restores our balance. Telling someone our experiences and how we feel
about them helps us find and create the meaning that lurks behind them, even though they at first seem only crazy and
random. Sharing with others pulls us out of isolation and brings our friends and mate into the circle of our lives. We may be
surprised to feel the knots in our stomachs loosen when we tell our stories and recount our worries or grief. Grief may make us
feel more alone than anything. But it may also be a pathway for our deepest connection with each other. When we reach out
and talk with our friends or mate, we break down the wall of isolation and build bridges that connect us. Tell your partner about
any grief you carry today." [In Sharing, Vicki B. 10/11/02. I offer my hand to those who are struggling, as in our poem, "Fellow
gambler, take my hand, I'm your friend I understand..." I am just another compulsive gambler, who is grateful for this gift of
recovery...the GA way. It works when I work it. Wishing congratulations to those celebrating milestones. Clap! Clap! Clap! We
are in this together...no longer alone in our disease! Hugs from YSIR, Vicki B

From: MI
Last Day Gambled: 10/11/02


Collette Monday, 3/3/03, 8:49 AM

Hi everyone....can you believe it is March already. Wow, time flies...whether you want it to or not. I had a very good weekend.
My folks came up for a visit and they watched my daughter while my husband and I went to a Styx and REO Speedwagon
concert on Sat. nite. It was a blast! The Styx bassist walked all the way up the stairs and hugged me in front of over 6,000
people, it was a major trip! Why me out of that many people...fate or what? My mom and I watched the Discovery program.
She has the tendencies to be compulsive herself. We both learned a lot, too bad my dad didn't watch it, he is still dismayed by
the disease...aren't we all! Looking forward to a gamble free day. Caught up on all the posts, keep wishing there was someone
close to me to have coffee with..Plan on going to my first GA meeting tomorrow nite. My counselor said there may only be 3 or
4 actively involved in GA meetings. Have a great day everyone!!!

From: South Dakota
E-mail: collettehendry@hotmail.com
Last Day Gambled: 02/24/03


Anna Monday, 3/3/03, 8:27 AM
To those struggling. There is hope. In my first week I struggled incredibly and too felt so alone, this HUB was my connection to
friends who cared and understood. I tuned out all else that I could and worked on me and with those that understood. It got a
bit easier as the days went on then after 30 days it suddenly got very hard. Oh how I wanted to reach those 90 days. I knew it
would be hard as I had closely followed those on the HUB w/their recovery. So I mentally set up road blocks and read, posted,
read, posted made sure I attended 1 meeting online a week and kept visiting my counselor on a regular basis. No I have 90
days in and I just can't explain how good I feel right now. Today...it least just for today I do not have any urges to gamble.
Wow it is a feeling I am grateful for. I know that tomorrow those urges may come back, but today is good and I will continue to
recover because I continue to read those who have been before me and they are my example as to what I might expect
emotionally and the steps I need to take to deal w/my illness odaat.

Last Day Gambled: 12/2/02


Delores Monday, 3/3/03, 7:35 AM

(((S JANE))), I would have written you an email if I could see your email address :-) The first few days are hard....especially
with lack of support. Remember you are doing this for you and no one else, and we out here ALL support you in your efforts.
Think of your glass half full and not half empty! I had a hard time going to my husband, I'm so glad you were sooo honest and
went to yours. That was a huge step, and you can be proud of yourself. Coming out here daily and looking for support and
reading the posts, and posting, are wonderful things that you are doing! Each day does get better! I don't know if the urges will
ever go away there are no promises, but they will become less, and not so strong. It's ODAAT. Stay in today, and just take care
of this day, it's all you have.....Remember Don't worry if you pray, and don't pray if you worry. Your HP will give you everything
you need today. So glad you are here!!! YSIR Delores

From: Twin Cities, MN
E-mail: mntoots@msn.com
Last Day Gambled: 1/1/03


Delores Monday, 3/3/03, 7:20 AM

Good Morning! Being we are all the Internet, and I don't know about you, but I like to talk on the phone too. Here's some info
about ways to call, that are inexpensive. AT&T has a plan, that for $20.00 a month, you can talk as much as you want, and any
time of the day, to another person who has AT&T....the other person only has to have AT&T Long distance, not the $20 a
month plan. Now, for those on the end who don't want the $20 a month plan, but want to receive calls for it, you can get AT&T
Long Distnace, with NO monthly charge, and only 7 cents a minute "if" you use it. I have the $20 plan! Does anyone out there
have AT&T Long Distance?? This does not apply to cell phones. If I made it confusing and you are interested, let me know!
YSIR Delores! (((Joni)))--get AT&T LD-It's free if you don't use it! LOL!

From: Twin Cities, MN
E-mail: mntoots@msn.com
Last Day Gambled: 1/1/03


Charlie K. Monday, 3/3/03, 7:01 AM

Hola sisters and brothers in recvery. I'm Charlie K., a compulsive gambler.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I am
grateful today for another 24 hours with some inner peace and serenity!! Love and ((((HUGS))))), Charlie K.
[hipookies@yahoo.com]

From: Ajijic, Mexico
Last Day Gambled: March 31, 1997


sylvi b Monday, 3/3/03, 6:39 AM

PART THREE KANSAS CITY MINI-CONFERENCE SCROLL FOR 1 AND 2. hE PATIENTLY STOOD THROUGH THE COUNTDOWN OF
YEARS TO THE TENDEREST NEW COMER OF ,I BELIEVE, 25 DAYS TO WHOM HE PRESENTED A BOOK. There were workshops to
satisfy and interest, literature to carry home read,,and T-shirts to remind one of the adventure. Did I mention the food was
great, the Jacuzzi and sauna hot, the pool serene, the weather mild, and the time far too short? The entire event was dedicated
to a deceased past member Everett B. of Kansas City, and many past members were eulogized and honored in a memorial
service.What have I forgotten? , the Hospitality room, the sometimes smoke=filled meetings in the lounges, the promises to
meet again in future conventions, the intertwined yarn at the closing, representing our shared consciousnesses, and the very
real tears of parting and missing one another's presence. Have I made any of it real for you? Are you tempted to venture out
and give it a try somewhere , someday? I hope so. If you see me there, come and shake my hand and tell meI helped, as
others have done for me. And whatever you do, Don't forget to dance. I did (dance that is)Love in agape love, unconditionally
and unashamedly, with gratitude to the author of it all, My Higher Power and yours, the God of our Understanding YSIR sylvi b

From: mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02
S Jane Monday, 3/3/03, 6:33 AM

Day 3.. Still feeling the humiliation, fear, and all the other emotions that go along after we gamble uncontrollably. My husband
still hasn't talked to me since confessing about my relapse. Been 3 days now and I still feel very alone. I'm still here tho,
posting and reading and working at it. I will get through this, I know. Thanks for posting all and it's nice to hear about the
conference. ((( ALL ))) Kat, hang in there. I know where you're at. Keep coming back and sharing.

Last Day Gambled: Feb 28


John H Monday, 3/3/03, 6:33 AM

May I go off topic for a second? If I hear about one more "reality" TV show I am going to start spontainious projectile vomiting!
TV is truely a vast wasteland. Almost every show out there is either a "reality" show, or a news/talk show paying homage to
their networks reality shows. I would like to see a TV crew come to Flint Michigan, go to our little GA meeting and anonymously
film us for a week. We (like everyone else in the world) deal with reality every day. The struggle for food, clothing, and shelter,
not to mention the heating bills. Dealing with frozen pipes, kids, car matainance and household responsibilities, and
interpersonal relationships is the real deal. On top of which we have to ever remember we are compulsive gamblers just one
bet away from disaster. I thank God he gave me a television remote, and feet that can walk away from this crap and send the
Nielson ratings people a loud and clear message. I also thank Him for the GA 12 step program. Without the 12 steps and the
fellowship of GA I would still be glued to the idiot box and not here helping somone else find recovery in the program. Thanks
for letting me share. JH

From: Flint MI
E-mail: human37@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 2-7-02


AnnaC Monday, 3/3/03, 6:29 AM

Good morning to you all. (((()))) to those who are having a difficult time today..odaat. I really enjoyed the meditations this
morning.... especially the one about competition w/co-workers. I often worry about being the best in my division at work. I
think that is ok, as long as I am the best I can be in my job ... no one elses job.....I really needed that reminder. I always start
Monday off expecting the best of the week ... well almost always. I am often let down as the week progresses and others
attitudes affect my life. Today I will be the best I can be and do my best to not let others affect me. I think that is a much
better goal breaking it down a bit and not expecting those around me to be in the same place I am at. Thank you for you
sharing and posts. Praying that each of us have a good week in our recovery this week, truly learning and absorbing the
recovery process.

Last Day Gambled: 12/2/02


sylvi b Monday, 3/3/03, 6:17 AM

THIS IS PART TWO OF A POST ON THE KANSAS CITY MINI- CONFERENCE. PLEASE SCROLL DOWN AND READ PART ONE FIRST.
I forgot to mention the shuttle driver who played Pachobel's Canon and Adagio for Strings by Albanoni on his CD player and
drove with absolute serenity to the Metro airport here .He and his wife Jan run an excellent service out of Grosse Pointe. I must
hasten to add that I had not met a single soul in person when I embarked on the adventure and was excited and expectant ab
out meeting those of you whom I knew through cyberspace, and a few by telephone. Those meetings were remarkable, to say
the least. But the youthful exhuberance , the talent put to service of the 12 steps of recovery, coupled with the sense of history
and continuity were elements for which I was not prepared. I would love to mention every person by name, but I fear I would
forget someone.We went from uproarious fun and laughter to deep felt emotions and shared tears. Some of us made
connections which will carry on into the Future. Others laid to rest old hurts and resentments and left them where they belong,
in the past. The highlight of Saturday night's program was a talk by Howie C. with 31 and 1/2 years of abstinence or 'clean
time." Im breakng here pc prb.

From: mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02


Dal B. Monday, 3/3/03, 6:12 AM

Good Morning, Today, me and my boss, welcome a new person into our group. We've been working alot of hours and really
hope this person is ready to help. I know we're both nervious as to hwo they'll work out. But they ahve a couple weeks to prove
themselves (I think 30 days would be better, but no one listens to me!) :)
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Last night folks, was the best I have felt in 30 days. I said last
night, what I couldn't say at my f2f. The demon who kept me quiet there, was pretty much smacked into submission then. I
look at not how far I have come, but what I haven't done. Basically, worry about things. Bills, future and job.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I have spent in 2 months, more time thinking
about recovery then I did before. I DO still have temptations to gamble, but all I have to do, is think of the time I would spend
GOING and that's where I see the beginning of "Wasted Time" So, I think of my plans for Texas and I'm usually off the
gambling thought and thinking of building a house, looking at designs and lots of IMPORTANT things.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ So, that's my thought for the day. Hope
everyone has a gentle ride to day. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Dal (Relax
eveyone) B.

From: Vancouver, WA
E-mail: dalbert_b@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 12/31/02


Jennifer Monday, 3/3/03, 6:07 AM

Good morning, gang! I figured I'd get in my computer time before JAYBIRD got here and started hogging it (you know he's
having withdrawals!). It's a new day and one I plan to spend being grateful and bet-free. WAYNE, lots of people care about
you. Just look at SASHA's list. HOWIE, I agree. Follow page 17 in the combo book and you can't go wrong. Sending big hugs
KAT's way. I'm so sorry. I know it's been a rough time for you. The sooner you get back on the wagon and commit 100% to
recovery, the easier it will be. Quit beating yourself up (I'm a master at it myself, but seeing the love and understanding
around me, I overcame my relapse quickly this time ... thank God). We're here to hold your hand along the way. In fact, we're
all holding each other up! Have a great day!

From: Missouri
E-mail: jennifermo@kc.rr.com
Last Day Gambled: 2/27/03 ... the last day of my old life


sylvi b Monday, 3/3/03, 5:59 AM

Dear Fellow Compulsive Gamblers, Good morniing to you whether you are a newcomer to the Hub or a 'frequent
flyer.'Welcome. I guess I had better add my report of the Kansas City Mini- Conference before procrastination overcomes me.
The theme was Open your heart to recovery, the title Jazz up Your Life, and thanks to the contributions of the remarkable and
talented KC GA and Gam-Anon groups it did both to me ,ie opened my heart and jazzed up my life. From the moment I was
inspired to attend, to the moment I stepped back through my apartment door, it was an incredible journey. Northwest airlines
saw to it that I had a great senior rate, and a wheelchair to speed me through the flight process. The Hilton hotel was efficient,
courteous, and accomodating,and although no wheelchairs were availble, I found(miraculously) that I was able to manage quite
well without one. The music, laughter, love ,and enthusiasm carried me and buoyed me up. Fromthe neat opening notesof
music by the nearby Middle School Jazz Band which played "Kansas City" to the crowded all night therapy room, we
experienced a full gamut of emotions. I'm going to make this in two parts. so please scroll to part II . thanks

From: mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02


Patty Monday, 3/3/03, 5:57 AM

Good Day All.. Great posts again this morning ...Thank you all I guess T-Day I am taking it a little bit easy...When I first came
into the programme I used to take one of those "Just for T-day"" quotes and pratice them...one a week...so thank you who
ever posted them here...Just what I need...For me after a crisis....( like my daughter going into a Treatment Centre for
Alchol..)) She is doing well thank to the H.P......But it was a very tiring time and its only when i stop rushing around...that I can
feel some of my body in pain and needing a rest...So i have a few days off...and am going to enjoy them...off to a meeting T-
nite and taking it very slow...and keep it simple comes to mind.. Thank you all for being here and so sorry for any of you that
are having a tough time right now...also tanks for the conference update...you guys had a wonderfull time...delighted for you
all TIL

From: Ireland
E-mail: oconnorpatti@hotmail.com


Delores Monday, 3/3/03, 5:26 AM

Good Morning! It's snowing here, and it's sooo pretty. Still thinking about the conference. Such wonderful people. I want to go
to a F2F meeting this week, and make it part of my recovery.....I loved being with everyone at the conference, and I would like
to know people in GA that live by me also! (((Jennifer))) huge hugs! (((SUE))) always thinking of you!! I'm glad you all enjoyed
the pictures!! I also put them out on the Hub's Email Site. This morning I'm so full of gratitude, and so happy about my life.
Stress free, worry free, and when this happens I just want to relax in it and enjoy it......and remember to be grateful for it!
Hope you all have a wonderful bet free day! YSIR Delores

From: Twin Cities, MN
E-mail: mntoots@msn.com
Last Day Gambled: 1/1/03


JUST FOR TODAY Monday, 3/3/03, 5:21 AM

JUST FOR TODAY I will try to live through this day only, not tackling my whole life problem at once. I can do something at this
moment that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
***************************************************** JUST FOR TODAY I will try to be happy, realizing that my
happiness does not depend on what others do or say, or what happens around me. Happiness is a result of being at peace with
myself. ***************************************************** JUST FOR TODAY I will try to adjust myself to what
is ¿ and not force everything to adjust to my own desires. I will accept my family, my friends, my business, my circumstances
as they come. ***************************************************** JUST FOR TODAY I will take care of my
physical health; I will exercise my mind; I will read something spiritual.
***************************************************** JUST FOR TODAY I will do somebody a good turn and not
get found out ¿ if anyone knows of it, it will not count. I shall do at least one thing I don't want to do, and I will perform some
small act of love for my neighbor. ***************************************************** JUST FOR TODAY I will try
to go out of my way to be kind to someone I meet; I will be agreeable; I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low,
act courteously, criticize not one bit, not find fault with anything, and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.
***************************************************** JUST FOR TODAY I will have a program. I may not follow it
exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests ¿ hurry and indecision.
***************************************************** JUST FOR TODAY I will stop saying, "If I had time." I never
will "find time" for anything. If I want time I must take it. *****************************************************
JUST FOR TODAY I will have a quiet time of meditation wherein I shall think of God as I understand Him, of myself, and of my
neighbor. I shall relax and seek truth. ***************************************************** JUST FOR TODAY I
shall be unafraid. Particularly, I shall be unafraid to be happy, to enjoy what is good, what is beautiful, and what is lovely in
life.************************************** ***************************************************** JUST
FOR TODAY I will accept myself and live to the best of my ability.
***************************************************** JUST FOR TODAY I choose to believe that I can live this one
day [free from my addictions]. THE CHOICE IS MINE!


rich r Monday, 3/3/03, 5:05 AM

Morning. Rich R feeling kinda down this morning. At least until I came here. What a wonderful 'place' this is. I'd like to thank
each of you who posted during the last 24 hours. I feel like I've been to Arlington cemetery and paid homage to a wonderful
guy. I've been 'walked' thru the whole KC weekend mini-conference, step by step, including pictures! I've connected with
Michelle about those times when maybe I've shared 'too much' of the real me here. I love it when the lurkers 'come out',
sometimes to celebrate their milestone and sometimes to correct their LDG. And Val sharing about watching the Discovery
Health program. Needless to say all you folks have altered my mood this morning. Maybe now I'll be able to face the rest of the
day as an 'adult' ~~~ I'll be back to report :-)

From: detroit
E-mail: richr121500@yahoo,com
Last Day Gambled: 121500


JoniB Monday, 3/3/03, 5:01 AM

God Morning Precious Friends..a rcg..Grateful for this Fresh New Day..stopping in to HUG((Sashas List) and those hurting
(((Wayne)))((((Kat))))..so Grateful that you are sharing here..for you are NOT Alone..We Care..as we are All compulsive
gamblers..we share your illness..and Odaat time .we share our ES & HOPE..and get better ..that beautiful exchange..with a 12
Step Program..and belief in a HP (GOD))of our understanding to get there..a step at a time...keep sharing..and as our
(((Val)))) shares..tie that Knot..believe You Can..and whatever God brings you too..he will bring you through:) Wishing each of
you a Day of peace..knowing..together..we can do this:):) love you all to pieces..soo Grateful your All here..
(((Delores))((Jennifer))smiling big time.. ((((Cindy))) for sharing..(((((Michelle))))..sharing you..smiling here..I sooo love Hugs
thankyou!! offff to make my Day:) Going to be a Goodie:):) ysir, love JoniB

From: Nebr
Last Day Gambled: 7/08/00 Grateful


Monday, 3/3/03, 4:36 AM

Date: Mon, 03 Mar 2003 Today's thought is: To be my best I need you ... swimming beside me. - Mariah Burton-Nelson How
often do we find ourselves comparing our work or our success with someone else's? While facing our competitive edge can be
healthy and stimulating, just what does it do when those people are peers in the office? Competition, like anything else, can be
carried to extremes. Susan realized that she felt competitive with Amy; even though they were in different divisions, she often
felt suspicious. This dynamic kept Susan on her toes and highly motivated. One day Susan heard herself making a slightly
dishonest statement about Amy when an outside client commented on Amy's competence. Susan immediately felt sick; she had
gone too far. Competition can give us that edge to keep ahead - to push a little harder - toward our own improvement. When
our push comes from within, we compete with our own previous record. Many of us respond to someone "swimming" beside us.
We recognize that it is that "other" who can let us know we all contribute. The question is, can we look next to us, as well as
within? Just for today, I will compete with myself, recognizing that others are "swimming" in the lanes next to me, and that if I
am doing the best I can, we can all succeed. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Today's meditation comes from the book
Igniting the Spirit at Work by Marilyn Mason copyright 2001 sharing...ysir, love JoniB


Monday, 3/3/03, 4:33 AM

Reflection for the DAY..I've begun to understand myself better, since I 've come to Gamblers Anonymous. One of the most
important things I've learned is that opinions aren't facts, just because I feel that a thing is so doesn't necessarily make it so.
"Men ar not worried by things" wrote the Greek philosopher Epictefus, "but by their ideas about things. When we meet with
difficulties, become anxious or troubled, let us not blame others, but rather ourselves. that is our ideas about things." Do I
believe that I can never entirely lose what I have learned during my recovery? Today I PRAY..May I learn to sort out realities
from my ideas about those realities. May I understand that situations, things-- even people--take on the colors and dimensions
of my attitudes about them. Today I WILL Remember..to sort the Real from the Unreal.. sharing..A Day at a time..GA..The
HUB..


Monday, 3/3/03, 4:32 AM

Reflection for the DAY..I've begun to understand myself better, since I 've come to Gamblers Anonymous. One of the most
important things I've learned is that opinions aren't facts, just because I feel that a thing is so doesn't necessarily make it so.
"Men ar not worried by things" wrote the Greek philosopher Epictefus, "but by their ideas about things. When we meet with
difficulties, become anxious or troubled, let us not blame others, but rather ourselves. that is our ideas about things." Do I
believe that I can never entirely lose what I have learned during my recovery? Today I PRAY..May I learn to sort out realities
from my ideas about those realities. May I understand that situations, things-- even people--take on the colors and dimensions
of my attitudes about them. Today I WILL Remember..to sort the Real from the Unreal.. sharing..A Day at a time..GA..The
HUB..


Monday, 3/3/03, 4:04 AM

The HUB would like to congratulate All those reacing another Milestone today!Tom S (Mpls). 5-3-92 Angel W. 1-3-01..Sherry E.
11-3-01..Susie H. 3-3-02 Lou N. 3-3-02 1 YEAR!!..Norma G. 1-3-02..Elizabeth C. 3-3-02..1 YEAR!!Deb A. 4-03-02..Paul D 7-3-
02.. CLAP CLAP CLAP..ThankYOU for your ES & HOPE!! Celebrate "TODAY".!! Soooo WORTh iT..YOU ARE!!!!


sue Monday, 3/3/03, 3:06 AM

good morning hubster (((Delores))) Thanks for the share of the pictures! They were great! It is so nice to put a face with a
name now. The KC conference sounded wonderful - As my recovery furthers, I want to attend a conference. It sounds like such
a "learning" experience as well as a lot of fun. ((Marie)) Thanks so much for the email. It is so nice to keep in touch with you
(especially since you are so close). Again, last night while making the online meeting I was booted off (by my kids). The night
times is terrible for me to get the computer because it is also their "social" time and now I don't only have one teen, I have
two. YIPPEE!!! Busy week coming up here - Ash Wednesday services, my daughters Sophmore dance, 3 birthdays, (possibilities
of triggers). And I have not a heck of a lot of money for 3 birthdays...(not something that teens really understand). So I need
to be very vigilent this week in regards to my recovery. Today is day 9 and I do not want to gamble. So today, I have to make
a plan. Thank god I see my new therapist tomorrow! And I will be going to quite a few meetings this week. I need all the
support I can get ya know? I hope you all have a good Monday! sue

From: massachusetts
E-mail: suemass2000@aol.com
Last Day Gambled: 02/22/03


kat Monday, 3/3/03, 2:29 AM

well i did it one more time.this time i did it good totally become un glued.i lost about 500,and i just feel so defeated .i am
scared that i am going to fall back into those ways of thinking and i cant do that.i was really doing good better than i have in
the past 10 years it really hurts like hell when you relapse.wosre is that i told everyone that i quit and in front of people i know i
lost it.i feel so ashamed i want to bang my head on the wall.i am ashamed of myself for my pathetic lack of contol.atleast one
good thing came out of this i know i need help still.i quit gambling on my own ,after a attending a few meeting like 2,and i had
accumulated some really good clean time.i did all the things i was told not to,i tested me.oh my god i cant bear the thought of
going back to the hole of pain.i am going to meetings from here on in ,i gotta get back to where i began this is awful.i am just
devastated,,,,,,,,,,,,kat

Last Day Gambled: march 2 2003
Howie C. Monday, 3/3/03, 12:22 AM

Hi Everyone, Just came back from the Kansas City mini. I'm sorry to see that Charlie fell off. I am writing, because my
anniversary dates are never shown on this site. And I wanted to brag a little, because before I came to G.A., I never could
abstain for any period of time. The very most I ever had since I was 11 years old, was 29 days. So, when I made my 30 days in
G.A., it was quite an accomplishment for me. Now it's 379 months,(one day at a time)and I am very happy every time the
second of the month comes around, because I am achieving another plateau that I never could before, not even with
hypnotism, psychiatry, or promising by writing a letter to my wife that I'd never do it again. Something that I could not do on
my own. (Never wanted to, anyway), I am able to do by following page 17 of the combo book. It works, if I work it. The
program is infallable. It is 100% successful, IF FOLLOWED.------ ------I guess that's all. Hope you guys that are still suffering
with this disease will surrender to the G.A. way.----Sincerely, your brother through fellowship, Howie C.

From: Los Lunas, N.M.
Web Site: HCBWT
E-mail: HCBWT@AOL.COM
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


Hub Posts Tuesday 3/4/03
sylvi b Tuesday, 3/4/03, 11:23 PM

Dear Sasha, Thank you for the feedback re the Jack Boland Memoriam. If one person read it and was touched, it was worth it.
sylvi b Trust me, he was a great human being/ spiritual teacher.

From: mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02


Sasha Tuesday, 3/4/03, 11:05 PM

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL That was funny ((JH)))
Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


EXTRA TIGHT?? Tuesday, 3/4/03, 10:24 PM

Sounds like my pants.~~~~~~~~~~Once a cucumber is made into a pickle, it will never be a cucumber again.~~~~~~~~JH

From: Flint Michigan
E-mail: human37@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 2-7-02


sasha Tuesday, 3/4/03, 9:41 PM

((JAYL)) I loved reading about the treat you have given your self...that is such a nice thing to be able to do. YOU enjoy your
hockey team!! Happy to hear such joy in your life.....joy in the simple things. I am getting there as well. Night and love YSIR
Melissa

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


sasha Tuesday, 3/4/03, 9:37 PM

Evening HUB Family: ((((MICHELLE))) thank you for your deep share..brought tears to my eyes as you shared about your
husband (((Mike))) So sorry to hear he is not doing so well. Reading your post gave me such a sense of strength in you..you
are a rare gem and truly deserve to be happy and live a full life with your daughter. You are doing what you know is right...and
I know, sometimes those decision are hard...but you are so giving and full of compassion for Mike and your family. I pray for
((MIKE)) and hope he gets better. (((LINDAC))) I am praying for your sister..((DARLENE)).I hope the treatment she recieves
will be of great help for her. While my dad was in the nursing home, mom and I would be there almost 24/7 until we could
bring him home. There was a young lady that had MS...her husband also left her...my heart went out to her...my heart goes
out to your sister...I am happy you both have each other!!((PAULA)) I to have to go through those 20 questions. I was up late
last night reading everything on this site....It is part of my recovery. ((CHARLIE)) I found so much to read on this site that I
want to thank you and everyone who brought that information together. ((TRACY)) We loved to hear from you and happy that
you joined this family!!! So good to see you posting and working on your recovery. I am still very new myself, however these
people here are so wonderful and it is great that you have been touched by them. GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE...For those having a
challenge tonight, remember, as ((Carole)) says..tomorrow is another new day. Strength, love and peace... dont let them thar
bed bugs nibble at cha!! Melissa

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


EXTRA TIGHT !!! Night Hugs and Prayers to the Hub Fa,mily and CGS across the world Tuesday, 3/4/03, 9:23 PM

(((((AletaE, Amber, Andy-sydney, AnitaA,, Ann, Anna, AnnaC, Arnie W, Audrey, Barb, Barbara-Rella, BeckyB, BevR, Brandy,
Brenda , Brenda A, Brenda R, Brett, Cali, Cole, Colleen, Carole, CarolynK, Charlie K, CharlieP, Cindy D, Cindy H, CindyW,
Collette, Curtis L, Dal B, Damaris, Dan, Dave, Dboy,DC, Dean, Deb B, Deb D, Deb G, , Delores, Denise, DennisP, Dina, Don C,
DonnaC, Dr. Jim, Dodger, Dorothe, Emjay, GaryK, GeneK, Gordon D. Gramers, Howie C, Jake A,Janie J, Jaybird, JayL, Jennifer,
Jeannie, Jim A, Jim K, Joeanne, John H, John M, JoniB, Jude, Kat, Katielyn, Kathy, Kinnon, Lanie, LdyQP, Lenett, Lily , Linda C,
Liz, Lloyd, Lu S, Madge, Marc, Marie, Mark, Mark M, Marty, Mary, Mary J, Marym downunder, MattW, Max H, , Melissa- sasha,
Michelle, Miranda, Nancy M, Okiemaw, Pat L, Patty, Paula, Pete, Rachel, Ramona, RandyM, Ray H, ReneeB, ReneeC, Rich_DET,
Richr, Rose, Sal, Sandy, SandyK, Scott, R, Skogie1999, SharonJ, Sheila L, S Jane, Sorry, Suzanne, Sue, SusanP, Steve,
Steven, SylviB, Tara, Tino (sidepocketkid), Tna-Tina, Todd, Tom P, TomS, Tracy, Valorie, Vel M, VickiB, Wayne, Williamk,
Wilma, Ymg/Ymg and EVERYONE)))))<137>

Last Day Gambled: ONE DAY AT A TIME


Jay L. Tuesday, 3/4/03, 8:45 PM

Good evening, everyone. Dropped in for a G.A. meeting tonight as there were a couple of birthdays, one and two years, along
with 60 days. Life's good tonight! For the many years I was gambling, I had very little interest in much of anything else.
Additionally, I'd never go out of my way to treat myself or do anything to reward myself as I never felt that deep down I
deserved any kind of reward. Well, the other day I ordered the NHL Centre Ice Package for the remainder of the season and the
playoffs. After exhibiting out-of-control spending for most of my life, I've become very watchful about my money and how it's
spent. My stepwork has really helped me with alot of that. So, I've rewarded myself with something I really enjoy, hockey,
especially watching the Toronto Maple Leafs. Throughout the years of my gambling, I couldn't have cared a lick about the
Leafs, unless I was betting on them. Today, no thoughts of wagering, just enjoying the game for what it is and enjoying the
opportunity of rooting for my home team once again. Life continues to get better with each and every day. My gratitude to G-d
and this program for giving me back my life, a little at a time with each passing day. Goodnight everyone! P.S.- Sheila's a
Detroit Red Wing fan, but we won't discuss that!!!
From: Arizona
E-mail: jaylaz123@hotmail.com
Last Day Gambled: November 5, 2000.


Tracy Tuesday, 3/4/03, 8:06 PM

Hiya HUBSTERS. Cant express my gratitude to all of you who wrote and posted to me. I am writing from my work computer so
I cant get the names off of my e- mail. In any case.......you're beautiful people. I will write more when I have time. Love
reading the posts. I hope they can be my HP for now.

From: st louis
E-mail: tmcoyle@aol.com
Last Day Gambled: 3/4/03


Paula Tuesday, 3/4/03, 7:52 PM

Good evening everyone. Just want to drop in and say hello and let everyone know things are going okay in recovery here is
Oklahoma. I had quite a few dark days last week. Somehow things started to turn around Sunday, and I'm very grateful. I'm
not sure what caused the urges, but so far I have not given into them. I reviewed step one again, and thought about how
powerless I am over gambling. There was a paper I had printed out a while back about the negative consequences and
emotions associated with gambling. The paper encouraged you to list answers to the twenty questions, as you concentrate on
just how out of control your gambling is(was) Admitting you can never again gamble normally is a big step. I think I was trying
to rush getting well to see if I could control gambling. The more I read from seasoned recovering cgs, and from literature, it is
clear that gambling is not an option for me. A co- worker told me yesterday that she went to the casino during lunch, with only
$40.00, and left there with $300.00. She was so happy. But I knew the chances of her returning and losing the $300.00 were
great. She couldn't believe it when I told her it had been almost 6 months since I went. Thank God for the Hub, and some e-
mailing friends who keep encouraging us through the rough days. Welcome to the newcomers. Sorry to hear about your recent
loss, Curtis. Congratulations to everyone reaching milestones today. I hope everyone has a good, gamble-free evening.

From: Oklahoma
E-mail: LdyQP@aol.com
Last Day Gambled: 9/22/02
Continued Tuesday, 3/4/03, 7:49 PM

Gonna keep it simple as to not overwhelm him more but thinking hes in a safe place right now and might be best time to ask
while he has daily access to his shrink. I know his family wont get any messages to him for me as they actually blame me for
his mental state, so am hoping hospital will deliver his mail. I feelreally bad for my husband but this only confirms for me that I
am doing the right thing. I feel bad that I was not able to see him thru this, makes me feel so immature for my marriage not
working. Feel like I let us both down. Like if my kid were emotionally ill would I get rid of her? Thats like I feel how committed i
should have been to my husband. And I just wasnt, couldnt do it. Just lotta yuchy feelings. I am young and have a long life
ahead of me and could not see spending it with such an emotionally ill person. Feels so selfish! sigh...... well just bad bad bad
urges tonight. I am safe tho only a few bucks on me at all times, and no credit cards. Well gonna go get some rest here in a
bit. Goonna think about what to write to myhusband. You all take care. Love, Michelle


Michelle Tuesday, 3/4/03, 7:46 PM

Hllo Hubbers! Very stressful day today! Just now was lookign for my yellow combo book and was so upset that I coudlnt find it
as it should be sitting right on my desk ....... mad that I out it up coz I had company and didnt want them to know my "dirty lil
secret" Bout near tears fer not being able to find it. Just needed the 20 questions tonight sumptin awful urges real bad tonight!
I found it and it is staying on my desk now and if anyone cares to ask about it I am simply gonna be honest....... I am not
gonna hide it! I should feel proud for taking action with this disease not ashemed or embarassed. Well, I informed my husband
via:email about startign the divorce Monday and he wrote me back Sat night and seemed well with it.... as well as Mike can
seem I suppose. But was impressed with his email and the strength he showed. Found out today that it was just that..... a
show. I had Sharron J call Mike for me for some info regarding the bills in our marriage as they need to be listed in the divorce
least its less complicated if they are. Came to find out that he had a nervouse breakdown over the weekend and is in a hospital
in St Louis in the psychiatric ward. His family gives me WAY too much credit for Mikes emotional condition. They put me on a
huge guilt trip over all this. Tho Mike and I were able to become friends and he has relayed no different to me looks as tho his
family is taking charge of his personal life spewing things like "Your not allowed to be concerned you filed for divorce" and
"Marriage is forever" and "Mike dont want nothing to do with you" Just alot of emotions flying. They woudlnt even tell me where
my husband was hospitalised so I had to investigate that all on my own. Gonna write him a letter and ask for his consent for
his shrink to contact me I need to know if she thinks its best I pull back completely and pull kristina out as well. I dont think its
fair to deprive them of eachother he has never been nothing but good to this kid.... But I want to do what is best for him to
recover. kristina wrote him a letter tonight and drew him a card, told her how sick he is and how I was gonna write his doctor
and see what we should do and how there was a chance we might just have to let "daddy" go. This killed her she really bawled
and was hard to not bawl right along with her, but got her to write him a letter and get her feelings out and chatted her about
her bday as she did and she seemed to lift her spirits a bit. I had my cry today with Sahrron J! Shes such a blessing to have in
my life. We had a LONG brunch chat today and went shopping everywhere we could think of for winter coat fer my kid shes
outgrown and busted zipper on one and other is so ratty and zipper busted and snaps are all that works on em. Cant believe
theres a few inches of snow on ground n barely anything in winter clothes in stores. Finally found a neat jacket at Boston
store..... was marked down from 70 dollars to 34 dollars plus an added 50% off that so got her an awsome 70 dollar jacket fer
a mere 17 bucks! What a find! it fits her perfectly too! A size 14 and she isnt even 8 yet! GEESSSSH! Went and signed papers
at lawyers office today and byt time I got home was just emotionally drained went to bed kristina woke me (per note Ileft fer
her) at 5 PM and made her dinner. Had such an awsome mornign withher this morning. Made huge breakfast oatmeal n toast n
pancakes n diced cantelope. Went to get her up as pancakes was cookin and here she was already up and in shower and
dogggie sitting on toilet lid trying to peek in shower at her LOL Had a nice chat on line with new BF he helped me to find Mike.
Got the hospital and address so gonna write a nice simple letter and send my concern and ask for contact with shrink so I know
weather or not pulling back is gonna be more helpful or more hurtful. Go

From: Wisconsin
Last Day Gambled: Feb 24th 2003


Linda C Tuesday, 3/4/03, 7:37 PM

It's a winter wonderland here in Wisconsin! Now that I am safe & snug in my jammies and not out there driving I can see the
beauty in it all. Spend the day with my sister. You want to talk about struggles. She has MS and her husband of 14 years bailed
on her when it started to get real bad. She can't walk but has so much courage & strenght & just keeps pushing. Anyways she
is having plasma exchange therapy. We spendt 4 hours in the hospital where they take out her plasma and put new plasma in
her. There has been alot of success with this so if you would please say a prayer for Darlene and that she see some
improvement. Thanks so much. Guess the day tired me out more than I thought so I'll hit the sack early tonight. I know I be
counting all my blessings tonight...my cup runnith over..God bless each and every one of you :):):):)Linda C

From: WI
E-mail: lindacal2001@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 03-01-03


sasha Tuesday, 3/4/03, 7:05 PM
Hello HUB Family: I am a RCG that has chosen the path to salvation and happiness. Today I have a late night of work.
Homemade cinnamon rolls are rising in the oven and I plan to make a Warm Apple-Cornmeal Upside Down Cake. My second
attempt for the cinnamon rolls...the first one did not go very well...they were as hard as rocks and I could bounce them off the
wall...I did eat one of them and my poor mom tried one..ouch hehehe but she did not say anything. The cake should be okay.
Yeast is hard to work with! ((Susan)) really like what you wrote. I feel the same, slowly each month, pay down my debt. I was
a bit freaked earlier today because I put myself in the mode of excitement about paying my friend...and that wasnt healthy, but
writing it out made me feel better. Happy you are back in your nieces life and congratulations on the new family addition!!
((Wilma)) your post was very heart felt. And you are right..sometimes we all feel left out..but like you, I brush it off only
because I know it is not life impacting for me if that happens to me. I to worry about missing someones name...but sometimes
it happens. It isnt deliberate. But I feel bad about it sometimes. The HUB's HUGS list is growning...if there is a name I have
missed, PLEASE let me know. My email is listed here. THANK YOU SO MUCH. Strength peace and love to you all. Melissa

E-mail: sashablue1@aol.com
Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


Susan P Tuesday, 3/4/03, 5:17 PM

Good evening all. I am so grateful to be in recovery today. Many things have happened over the past while, which would not be
possible if I was still gambling. I am allowed back in my niece's life, and on Sun, there was a new addition, a healthy baby boy.
Last night, I went to my regular f2f GA meeting, and there were 4 people, which is a big crowd for our meeting, and I chaired
it. I was frightened half to death, but I just shared my ESH, and hoped that what I said would help people out. I read many of
the messages today, and with regards to the money, I was told that with regards to gambling, it was one area in my life that I
was going to have to accept that I was a LOSER!!!. That's ok, cuz as long as I continue to remain gamble free, I will eventually
pay off the bills, and get back on my feet, though I do need help to do this, and I am no longer proud, and I can say....I need
help with money. It feels good to slowly, very slowly pay off the debts, but I am seeing some progress. That is why I am taking
advantage of OT at work, I am not working too much though, cuz I have to take care of me as well. I am still on the first step,
and that's ok, cuz I was told that that is the only step I need to do perfectly, I do some of the other steps daily, if I hurt
someone then I apologize, and I am trying to rebuild a relationship with a HP. I thank you all for being here, and joing me on
my journey. I wish you all a great gamble free night. Yfir, Susan

From: Canada
E-mail: spiercey@hotmail.com
Last Day Gambled: Jan29/03
Wilma Tuesday, 3/4/03, 5:10 PM

Hello everyone. Wilma here a CG grateful to be in recovery ODAAT. Thank you for the daily hugs. Congratulations to all
celebrating milestones today even the ones who is celebrating one day. Those days one day was a big milestone for me. My
prayers to those who still suffers, you know who you are. I don't like to write names because I might miss someone. I know
how it felt when you don't see your mentioned with the others who is going through the same. When I was lurking it was okay
nobody knew me but when I started posting I felt left out. But I got out of that feeling quickly. I told myself, Wilma how do you
expect people to remember who's who, there are many people posting, you can't even remember their names yourself why
expect others. That was the sick CG on a pity pot. The same happened when I first went to my first meeting. They welcomed
me and everything but during the break nobody came and talk to me, I was sitting alone, the others went out to smoke, some
stayed inside and they were gathering in one corner. I felt left out, I started talking to myself, Wilma if you want to stop
gambling you need the meeting. If you don't come to a meeting then for sure you will gamble again, you've been there many
times already. Maybe I'll just go to a different meeting? but I like women meeting. After the meeting they went to IHOP for
coffee and they didn't invite me (another feeling left out). So the next meeting, I didn't set in a corner during the break I
started talking to few of them and they were very nice. After a meeting or so someone mention going to IHOP for coffee I felt
really good. I felt accepted. The thing I didn't know that I was accepted from the biginning anyway. It was just my stinking
thinking. Then I realized that there were few who shared interest (Nature) with me outside the meeting. Now I have a few
ladies I do things with in between our meeting. I voluntered to type our weekly meeting agenda and the invitation for coffee
after the meeting is mentioned there. Today I added one more tool for my recovery. There was a newcomer last sunday
meeting I attended. She was shy to speak infront of a bunch of people so I got her phone number and I called her today. She
shared to me and made her feel better. So I said calling is not bad after all, so I called a few ladies who I have not seen in our
meeting. Thank you everyone for your post. HUGS TO SASHA'S LIST and lurkers too. I am off to a meeting and (CAROLE)...just
because. Have a gamble free evening and I'll be back. Love, Wilma

From: Arizona
E-mail: wilma102102@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 10-21-02


Tom S Tuesday, 3/4/03, 4:22 PM

Good Afternoon Hubsters: Just a short check in before my Alanon meeting. Step 10 tonight and I certainly can use some work
there. I had an unusually strong, at least for me today, "brat" attack this morning which caused me to have harsh words with
someone. After letting it eat at me all day I got down to that undeniable fact-"I WAS WRONG." I will need to make that amends
tomorrow. Oh well, progress not perfection. Curtis my friend, we spend much of our time in recovery building a spiritual bank
accouunt. Sometimes we need to withdraw from that account when times are tough. Please let your HP and the fellowship carry
you during this hard part of your journey. Delores- a lesson I had to learn early on was that this disease and recovery from it
are not about money. Money is just how we keep score. If I win I'm a good person, if I loose I'm bad. Since I've not yet met a
CG who admits to being a winner (at least one that I believe) most of us come into recovery with a strong negative message
about ouselves because of the monetary damage we've done to ourselves or our families. I had to admit that I was just as
powerless over getting that money back as I was over my gambling. It was gone and I could do nothing to get it back. I could
however learn to put money in its proper perspective today and move forward. I jokingly call my losses the "dues" I paid to
become a member of this awesome fellowship. From that view it was worth every cent!!!! DAMARIS- Watch out!! The HUB can
be addictive. Wonderful to see you post. I know that I appreciate your recovery voice and am certain others can benefit from
your ES&H. Hoping for all of you a peaceful gamble free evening. In love and fellowship. Tom S. mandanwibau@msn.com

From: Minneapolis, MN
Last Day Gambled: 5/3/92


Vicki B Tuesday, 3/4/03, 3:17 PM

Good Evening Hub Family. Well, I am not heading to Detroit tonight. Hubby talked me into waiting until this weekend, as a
storm is coming, and he did not want me on the road. So I called Denise, and promised to bring Chinese Food and the Scrabble
Board on Sunday. I may join in on the recovery ship meeting here tonight. First, I have to go out and get Mum some Pacski's
for Fat Tuesday! Wishing all an evening of connections! Hugs YSIR, Vicki B

From: MI
Last Day Gambled: 10/11/02


marym Tuesday, 3/4/03, 2:59 PM

Good gamble free day dear family, Mary here CG, but by the grace of God I am so much more than that
today*************When I was in action I was always looking for something outside of me to make me happy. I could not
face the reality of everyday life, living life on life's terms. I was creating a world I felt comfortable in, and I did for a while. I
could sit in front of this steel beast and forget everything. I also searched for happiness in places and other people. Believing as
I went from place to place "things would be better" but I forgot one thing, I went with me. It did not matter where I lived, I still
had the same feelings I still had the same emptiness inside and this was the problem. With people I would "people pleae" to
have people like me. Doing things that went against my nature to have someone give me the attention I so craved, attention I
did not get as a child. This was so with men too, if a man said a kind word to me I would fall in "love" and become whatever he
wanted me to be. I gave him the power to treat me as he wanted.Until my husbnd I had never had a long term relationship
with a man. My dear husband Glenn has always treated me with the greatest respect and kindness, but even that was never
enough for me. I still looked elsewhere. Looking to fill the emptiness I felt. Not until I walked with my Higher Power and not
until I started working the 12 steps did that emptiness start to fill up. Today I have peace and serenity, the emptiness has
gone. Little by little as I worked this programme the peace, happiness and pleasure grew. I can honestly say that it is not very
often that I feel that emptiness today, but when I do I have the tools and it does not last for long. Yes indeed, this is an inside
job.*****************************CONGRATULATIONS!!! To all those feeling that inner peace and happiness today as
they reach a milestone YAHOOOOOO clap clap clap. (((RELLA))) YOU ARE A WINNER...smiles. (S>JANE))) Congrats on day 4,
just one day at a time dear sister. As I have just posted this is an inside job. It is what you feel comfortable with. I have known
people who have the universe as their Higher Power, those who choose their GA group, some use the HUB. Some just add
another O to Good and believe in GOOD. (((DELORES))) As Jennifer posted, Name it, claim it and let it go. To let it rent free
space in your head will eat you up until you feel so bad the only option you have is to escape into the darkness again. I know
that from experience dear sister. (((CURTIS))) So good to see you post again. Special (((HUGS))) to you dear brother.
(((WAYNE))) I heard in a meeting not so long ago, NEVER LISTEN TO YOUR HEAD. YOU are a WINNER, you came
back....smiles. (((SUE MASS))) What a great post, I see you blossoming dear sister. (((MICHELLE))) Yep, you have made the
effort dear one. SO happy for you. Welcome fellow Sydneysider (((ANDY))) A date not easily forgotten. Welcome
(((DEMARIS))) Hope you feel safe in posting, please come back. (((TRACEY))) YOU are so worth it. Each and everyone who
comes here is worth it. We all have this insidious DISEASE of compulsive gambling, we all understand. Please try not to beat
yourself up, let the unconditional love that abounds here on the HUB wash over you, we extend the hand of friendship that was
so freely given to each and every one of us when we first came here.....smiles. Sending some of that unconditional love to YOU
my dear fellow traveller and great big bear (((((HUGS))))) YSIR Down Under, Mary. QUOTE FOR THE DAY; OUTSIDE SHOW IS
POOR SUBSTITUE FOR INNER WORTH.....AESOP.

From: Sydney Australia
E-mail: lollylady@operamail.com
Last Day Gambled: 20th July 1999


AnnaC Tuesday, 3/4/03, 2:55 PM

Just a quick something I thought about. Went to the grocery store this am for breakfast and I glanced over at the machines I
used to frequently sit down at. I saw a woman frantically digging down to the bottom of her purse trying to find more money to
put in the machines.... she didn't look happy, looked very sad and frantic like she had to win. That lady was me not too long
ago. I could nearly feel the sickness in my stomach as I put myself back to that same spot that lady was in....and walked out of
the store and continued onto work.

From: NV
Last Day Gambled: 12/2/02


Tuesday, 3/4/03, 2:54 PM

((((Katielyn)))thats a Beautiful Prayer..thankyou for sharing it:):) ysir, love JoniB


Katielyn Tuesday, 3/4/03, 2:50 PM

(Joanne) I haven't posted in a few days but have been reading posts and working on the steps. I read your post and it
reminded me of a prayer that I have kind of adopted so I thought that I would share with you: Dear God: Take my life and let
me live serenely for today. Open my mind to happy thoughts. Take away my self pity, I don't want it. Take away my ill will
towards others. Make it possible for me to feel joy, love, and compassion. Help me to accept what is, to hold my tongue, to do
my daily tasks, and to let go with love. Take away my worry about the future. Make me realize that in your hands everything
will be provided. Help me to understand that I have no control over anything but my own actions. Make me know that today is
precious and will soon be gone. Help me to remember that all hatred and pain directed toward me are the hatred and pain that
the other person is feeling toward himself. Thank you for your willingness to accept my burden and lighten my load. Amen I
hope that this will be a help to you. Hugs Katielyn

From: upstate NY
E-mail: kdann@stny.rr.com


sasha Tuesday, 3/4/03, 2:40 PM

extra ((((((((GENEK))))))))) for your post and JUST BECAUSE SISTER!!! love s

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03
sasha Tuesday, 3/4/03, 2:38 PM

(((ARNIE))))((((MARYM))))((((DAVE)))) thank you for the posts!!! Have a blessed day..love s

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


sasha Tuesday, 3/4/03, 2:35 PM

((S JANE)) 4 DAYS!!! 96 hours, 5,760 minutes gamble free time!! WTG...and those numbers will continue to go for you!!!
((DENNIS P)) Thanks for the share on the pressure relief. So glad that worked for you and perhaps some of our brothers and
sisters can tap into that resource too!!!!!(((CHARLIEP))) Thank you for getting this HUB up and running and allowing it to grow.
Love this open and free forum for us all to share in....wow, to all those coming in to check this place out...WELCOME and hope
your journey will include this HUB. ((ANNAC)) Thanks for your post and providing a reach hand to those on their spiritual
paths....that is cool. (((JAYBIRD)) Love the BIG SMILE YOU HAVE BROTHER and love to hear how happy you feel...that is all
empowering for me too!!! ((JOHNM)) Thank you for that story...that does make one stop and think...brings tears to my eyes.
thank you!!((MICHELLE)) Such great posts!! Thank you for sharing with us!! WTG GF!! (((((SYLVI))))) In rememberance of
(((((REVEREND JACK BOLAND)))))...... (((DEB D, RELLA, AMBER, CAROLE, VICKI B, VALORIE, LINDA C, SUE, DAVE, PATTY,
RICH R, JONIB, MARC, WILMA) WAY TO GO. Thank you for the great reads today. (((((ANDY)))) welcome brother dear....we
are here for you and look forward to hearing from you again. (((WAYNE))) hang in there brother dear....so happy that you will
be attending your GA meeting...take it ODAAT...these times will pass my friend...as challenging as they are, they will. KEEP
THE FAITH we have the FAITH IN YOU. (((JENNIFER)) Thanks so much for your posting...great read!!!! (((ANN)))) you are in
my thoughts sister!!! LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU. ((((((CURTIS))))))) thinking of you brother dear....know that
this is very hard.....but as someone told me once after I lost a loved one...we learned to live around the pain we are
feeling....only time will lessen that pain..I GIVE YOU EXTRA HUGS because I know what you feel in your heart today!!
(((((GROUP))))) extra super duper hugs to the HUB FAMILY!!! Strength peace and LOVE!!! S

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


Dave Of Beckenham Tuesday, 3/4/03, 2:19 PM

My name is Dave I am a compulsive Gambler and will be till the day I DIE! Thought I would take it easy today, well not quite.
Shirley was not happy. In the old days I would not be able to give things away for free it was not in me rather throw on them
the tip give them away. Now it feels good to give. One thing I learnt is that if I have to prove myself I am weak. Each action I
make today has repercussions. Each drop of fear I let go of, each ghost buried makes my life easier. There are so many who
will walk into GA and hear the wisdom but are not up to it yet. For those people I feel sad for. They do not know what they are
missing. But as they say you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink. Would I be the man I am today with out
my family I doubt it. Would I be the man I am today with out all the pain and suffering no. But that experience that wisdom
has done me good now. I no longer want to hurt, control intimidate people as I know if I do bad I feel bad. I no longer want to
be a victim of others so now I speak my mind. Chaos rules in our home now. Boxes all over the place. People wantting to buy
things before we leave, worry of not selling things. But what the heck if it all goes pear shaped I still am with the people who
matter. Never appreciated expression of realationship with myself. But it is true. Today I feel good, emotionally. I wrote letter
to Micael Jackson, felt I needed to do that. Not sure where we will end up living but I do know it will be a place we are both
happy with. It took me long time to become a walker. It took me life time to get wise, get in touch with reality. To get to know
myself. Strange thing some one told me once if you are not sure which decision to make take the hardest it is usually the right
path. You know he was right? But recovery would not work if it was easy. It is true recovery is gratitude. Well time rolls on. A
day filled with ambition motivation and persistance. IT dont sound like me ? Is it really? Love to you all. Dave.

From: Uk For Now!
E-mail: gadaveuk@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 1992 August


sasha Tuesday, 3/4/03, 2:09 PM

((((Joanne))) hugs for you. Keep your faith in your friend, we all react in different ways when we are in denial...sometimes it is
okay to let that person go through the motions until they realize what is happening to them. For me, may friends voiced their
concerns, but never told me right out that they thought I had a problem...why,because I would have just shrugged it off..I
would not have gotten mad per say, but would have ignored them even though I felt they were right.....but I needed to find my
own way. Kind of wish I had listened and accepted back then...then I would have been in recovery for much longer..But today,
they are relieved that I am in recovery and we laugh about the past.YSIR Melissa

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


arnie w Tuesday, 3/4/03, 1:16 PM

thought this might be of intrest take care arnie w HEALTH INS BILL FOR COMPULSIVE
GAMBLINGhttp://www.njleg.state.nj.us/2002/Bills/A3500 /3371_I1.PDF
From: florida
Web Site: www.aswexler.com
E-mail: aswexler@aol.com
Last Day Gambled: 4/10/68


Joanne Tuesday, 3/4/03, 1:12 PM

Hi. I am a recovery compulsive gambler. It is 7 months since I last gambled. Something sad happened to me the last couple of
days. Something I forgot sometimes your friends let you down. I have this friend I have known 20 years. I believe she has
become a compulsive gambler. I have tried to talk to her about the progam and she listens but she continues to gamble. I have
been worried about her. Anyways she really told me some unkind things on Saturday. She made me cry. I decided then I was
not going to talk to her for awhile. Then Last Night I saw her and she said even meaner things. I went home and was really
mad. I had very bad thoughts about her. I asked God to forgive me this morning because I was not mad anymore after I woke
up. I accept the fact that she is upset with me and that is ok because this is her choice. Maybe some of the cruel things she
said were true and I will work on those character defects because I want to. Life is good when you stay in recovery and work
your steps.

From: CA
Last Day Gambled: 7/30/03


sasha Tuesday, 3/4/03, 12:59 PM

Hello Hub Family: ((AMBER)) yep, I have done what you did and it made my stomach cringe at the amount I invested in
gambling. LOL I think WOW, all that money donated and not a benefit to me...just an illness I label myself called CG. I watched
the Gambling show again this AM...it was on at 2am here in Sacramento. Well, today I did a reconcilation of my bank
statements. Not so much in my account, but it is a great FEELING...never thought I would get to this point. Keeping my
Compulsive spending in check and living on a budget has helped tremendously. HOWEVER, I am now unable to sleep because I
wanted to send my friend my first payment toward my loan. I think I can swing $2,500 this month to send him. I am allowing
my self to feel awful only because I told him I wanted to send him a check in Feb., but could not swing it. I was thinking about
sending him 2000 on the 15th and 500 on the 30th. BUT I think I best send him an email...GOSH I just dont want him to worry
about getting his money back...hmmmmm I best send him a note so he does not think I am not doing what I am suppose to
do. Okay, a few more months of this and I will have taken care of that loan...THINK POSITIVE...just let him know because he
does not need to go through anything because I did not get a check to him. BOY the lingering affects of this illness....but as I
say OH WELL.....keep proactive and keep plugging away.....I am going to go to H&R Block tomorrow....OH YEAH!!!!! I will get a
return and can send him that too....COOL...I may just be able to pay him back $3000!!! I will still have money to pay all my
bills and live off of....okay, let me calm my drama here....Just needed to write out my thoughts....and to let those reading know
that even though I am in recovery, many of us still have to deal with the actions we made a few months ago....and if I had
gotten on the train earlier, I would be much more ahead of the game and would not be in this position today. SO I keep that in
mind and stick to my recovery....do not want to fall behind like I did. I just know one thing...life it REAL....and the reality is this
will be a long road to travel...so I take one step at a time....I was able to do that when my dad was ill..took one step at a
time.....just get through the day, and tomorrow will fall into place when it is ready to come. Yesterday is gone, I just learn the
lessons of yesterday and yesteryear to help me today. THANK YOU for allowing me to vent my thoughts here.....I am
grateful!!!Love YSIR Melissa

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


Genek Tuesday, 3/4/03, 12:50 PM

Hi all, Genek here;another compulsive gambler striving for recovery one step and ODAAT.~~~~Congratulations to all who have
reached a milestone on this journey.~~~~~(Delores)- your post on getting beyond losing and truly forgiving one's self-has
also been one of my stumbling blocks.But by acceptance of ourselves as being "human" and thus both good and bad.. and
aiming for progress not perfection.Forgiving is not forgetting, we can never erase the past mistakes.We are forgiven only if we
are able to forgive others.and learn from our experiences.By working the 12 steps and repeating the Serenity Prayer-to accept
the things we cannot change~~~~~"Experience is not what happens to man.It is what a man does with what happens to
him"¿Aldous Huxley (Curiss- glad to see you back posting,with your GF who do understand your loss) (((Charlie P))).thanks for
all you give so freely to this site,and to all us CG I loved the Blue Ribbon story- am giving a blue ribbon to all onSasha's Hug
list.K "'smiling"here. ((S Jane, there is a great book"The Spirituality of Imperfection"byErnest Kurtz &Katherine Ketchum ---
that I am sure would give you some insight in your search for a Higher Power. ~~~~~~~~~In the Health section of my locaal
paper today-the headline'Are you caught in the WEB" I hereby plead Guilty, I am addicted to theGA hub LOL~~~See you all on
Jaybird's Recovery sailing tonight. Love and a ((Sasha List Hug)))) Genek

From: NJ
E-mail: Kgene1923@aol.com
Last Day Gambled: 1-28-03
Amber Tuesday, 3/4/03, 11:45 AM

(((Delores))).....in response to your question on how to get past the amount of money wasted gambling......For me I have to
keep in my mind the reality of how much money I have lost to gambling...so I actually went through my last year's bank
statements one by one and added up all of my ATM withdrawals, as well as, all of the cash withdrawals from my bank after
every payday. SICKENING!......to see it like that in black and white. I knew all of these cash withdrawals were for gambling
because I use my debit card for everyday purchases...never cash. Knowing the amount of money that I lost, has made the
SERIOUSNESS of this disease very real to me. Also, in my heart I believe that there is absolutely nothing I can do about it, that
money is gone forever, so I've let it go without plans to chase it! Of cource there is guilt, just as there is guilt over many issues
to do with gambling, that is why I'm working step four. Step four is my chance to bring all these issues to light and to look
forward to letting them go in the next step. Hope this is helpful to you.....hugs.....PS: Thankyou sooooo much for sharing the
pics!!........ysir Amber

Last Day Gambled: the last day of my old life


Tuesday, 3/4/03, 11:30 AM

(((Rella))) 7 days awesome!!!! whooo hoooooo, 1 week, 168 hours, 10080 minutes and 604800 seconds!!!!! :)


Rella Tuesday, 3/4/03, 11:19 AM

Well it's a miracle. Its been 7 days since I testing my strength (one last time) to see if I could just stop by my local casino and
try and quadrupale my money. Just a test, you see of my will. Well, after the ATM quit giving me money and my visa card was
maxed I hit the hard realization that NO, I can not ever wallk in to an establishment that has gambling and leave without using
throwing away every cent I have. For me it is just not possible. I can intellectually realize that fact, but emotionally it is another
story. I have been powerless and someone else has been there with me this last week..all of you and my HP for sure.!!! Thanks
for all of your help and tonight as I crusie by the casino on my way home...I was just wave the wave and smile to myself that I
WILL WIN this time and they are not getting a dime of my hard earned money again. I am worth more than sitting in that low
life place for hours on end...its a trashy life. Going to Denver tomorrow AM..... Love and peace to all of you...and be so proud of
yourselves..hey if I can make it a week anyone can do it!!! Huggggs .. Rella

E-mail: barblensch@hotmail.com
Last Day Gambled: 7 days agooooooooooooooooooooo
dc Tuesday, 3/4/03, 11:00 AM

Looking for to hear from you. Please teel me about a gambling experience that you have had in the past. Please keep it under
250 words. May we all make it through another day. Thankyou, dc

From: OR
E-mail: gamegonefree@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: Nov 1, 2001


dc Tuesday, 3/4/03, 10:55 AM

From: or
E-mail: gamegonefree@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: Nov 1,2001


sasha Tuesday, 3/4/03, 10:49 AM

Hello HUB FAMILY: Havent read all the posts today, but what I have read is wonderful. Saw some new names today and thank
you for posting. I read some posts of those having challenges today....I will keep you in my thoughts and hope that you will
keep returning and posting what is ever on your mind. We are here for you. Read a post from ((S Jane)) about step two. S
Jane, there are many here with different beliefs. I am what you call an agnostic. I believe there is something out there....I do
not believe God in the traditional way. However, you will hear me send out prayers or even quotes referring to God, etc...in my
mind, I replace that with what I call higher power. My belief is that spirituality is something one needs to seek out from
within....it resides in you , in me and eveyone else...however we forget to tap into it. My belief is we are spiritual beings having
this incredible human experience. Now, I have freinds who range from holy rollers, to everyday believers to atheist. The
important thing is to find it within yourself....and what ever you find is pure for you. I had been on, what I call, a spiritual path
since my early 20's. I have read and encountered many many experiences. I love gospel music, I say God bless to friends who
are beleivers...etc....I simply do not allow the differences in belief's to hinder my recovery...Sure, I run into people who think I
should believe in this or that....but that isnt me....to me, there is NO right or wrong way....You will find your own way as you
walk on your spritual path....you may come to find out if God works for you or does not work for you...but that decision can
only be made by you. To give you an example, my atheist freinds are working the 12 step program....the point is....they or I do
not allow certain items to hinder our recovery. I hope this helps.((((RELLA))) thanks for your email...you did it gf...drove right
by that casino....YIPEEE YAHOOO...you be proud of you!! I am so proud of you too. ((CURTIS)) my heart goes out to you
brother!!! Thank you for your post and sharing this most difficult time you are expereincing......+++++I will return after I have
read all the post...but I would like to CONGRATULATE ALL THE MILESTONES TODAY!!!! WTG!!!! I will keep all close in my
thoughts today....strength, peace and love to you all. S

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


Deb D. Tuesday, 3/4/03, 10:21 AM

Good morning all hubbers...I'm a RCG and so thankful to say those words. Reflected last night at step meeting about the
calmness I have inside and how my faith has grown in my HP. I just love those meetings..always leave with so much to think
about & I just love feeding my brian with new things. During break I was faced with some members almost pressuring me to
get back into my music...I tried to explain that I like where I am at..in a learning stage of who I am. Some just seems
baffled...smiling here...I explained that I believe when the time is right my HP (God) will direct me, so for today I'm making no
sudden decisions. I'm thinking back as to how hectic life was when I was in action, everything seems in tormoil...working the
steps has made me a better, more understanding, calmer and patient person. What will be, will be...God's plan not mine. Just
taking a day here to clean and fuss around the apartment..it's a good day..life is good..it's what we make of it. I'm thankful
that God has given me another day of recovery, I don't want to waste it or screw it up. It's meant to be grand and that is my
decision. Life and recovery is all about choices..so glad that my thinking has cleared and my choices are better today. Let's all
have a great gamble free day. One Day At A Time...YSIR, Deb D.

From: Colorado
E-mail: debbies_music@hotmail.com
Last Day Gambled: 4/14/01


jaybird Tuesday, 3/4/03, 9:38 AM

morning,hard to express in words all of the good feelings inside of the bird. meeting cindy D, and spending time in there home,
then to the conference,and all the wonderful events there, our hubber meeting, so powerfull. and so much love. as joni says
seeping. meeting and hugging delores, and sylvi. now spending sometime with jennifer,and family. thinking about all of the ppl.
that i have met and come to love from the hub, and how many more to comethat i will meet. yes awsome bunch here. the bird
will nest here the rest of his life ODAAT. LOVE YA ALL JAYBIRD
From: at jennifers house
Last Day Gambled: 1/18/01


Annac Tuesday, 3/4/03, 9:38 AM

Hi Sandy: Thanks for your Post. Just reminded me to work on Step 2 too. Have you checked out the 12 interactive steps on this
site? Also, reading the AA Big book (cuz that is what I have w/me) They have some good reading on how to find that spiritual
HP. I believe in God but still find step 2 not easy. I also, would like to say I hope in no way my posts using my spiritual HP
(God) make anyone uncomfortable....that is definitely not my intentions. Thanks for letting me share--Anna

Last Day Gambled: 12/2/02


Daily HUGS and Prayers for Hubsters, Lurkers and all CG's around the world Tuesday, 3/4/03, 9:14 AM

(((((AletaE, Amber, Andy-sydney, AnitaA,, Ann, Anna, AnnaC, Arnie W, Audrey, Barb, Barbara-Rella, BeckyB, BevR, Brandy,
Brenda , Brenda A, Brenda R, Brett, Cali, Cole, Colleen, Carole, CarolynK, Charlie K, CharlieP, Cindy D, Cindy H, CindyW,
Collette, Curtis L, Dal B, Damaris, Dan, Dave, Dboy, Dean, Deb B, Deb D, Deb G, , Delores, Denise, DennisP, Dina, Don C,
DonnaC, Dr. Jim, Dodger, Dorothe, Emjay, GaryK, GeneK, Gordon D. Gramers, Howie C, Jake A,Janie J, Jaybird, JayL, Jennifer,
Jeannie, Jim A, Jim K, Joeanne, John H, John M, JoniB, Jude, Kat, Katielyn, Kathy, Kinnon, Lanie, LdyQP, Lenett, Lily , Linda C,
Liz, Lloyd, Lu S, Madge, Marc, Marie, Mark, Mark M, Marty, Mary, Mary J, Marym downunder, MattW, Max H, , Melissa- sasha,
Michelle, Miranda, Nancy M, Okiemaw, Pat L, Patty, Paula, Pete, Rachel, Ramona, RandyM, Ray H, ReneeB, ReneeC, Rich_DET,
Richr, Rose, Sal, Sandy, SandyK, Scott, R, Skogie1999, SharonJ, Sheila L, S Jane, Sorry, Suzanne, Sue, SusanP, Steve,
Steven, SylviB, Tara, Tino (sidepocketkid), Tna-Tina, Todd, Tom P, TomS, Tracy, Valorie, Vel M, VickiB, Wayne, Williamk,
Wilma, Ymg/Ymg and EVERYONE)))))<136>

Last Day Gambled: ONE DAY AT A TIME


Charlie P Tuesday, 3/4/03, 8:39 AM

Charlie P here webmaster. Not sure if I shared some visitor data from last year. In 2002, we had approx 234,000 hits. We
tracked three key pages of the Hub for page hits. We looked at the counters on the, Index page, Posting page and Yesterdays
Page. The index and posting pages had a total of 161,800 hits. Uniquely the yesterdays page had 73,000 hits...I have met
many of our lurkers at conferences. I like to think of them as our silent sisters and brothers in recovery. Many have also
donated funds when I have met them face to face. Many of our silent visitors have told me that they use the yesterdays page
for their daily journeys. Some even have the yesterdays page up and running on their desktops, and slowly read all the content
during the day. They have mentioned to me that they dont care if there reading the messages as of today or yesterday. They
take what they need and leave the rest. Sometimes, I even loose sight of the fact that we are alot bigger than we can ever
imagine. " Gotta Love It " YBIR Charlie P

From: Live in Mississipi
E-mail: cp044@bellsouth.net
Last Day Gambled: 2/23/03


Annac Tuesday, 3/4/03, 8:33 AM

Hello Hubbers. So much sharing experience, strength and hope. Something came to my mind when reading the posts that was
posted a time back "God doesn't make garbage." That statement made me cry because sometimes I really feel like garbage but
I do believe it is true. We are awesome people w/individual talents strength and courage to fight this disease...that is exactly
what it is. We have soo much time going into finding cures for so many diseases including our compulsive behavior...why?
Because we are worth it!!! ((Curtis))hugs for you and your loss and for posting. (((All))) and to those at the meeting last night I
am so sorry I was late joining and had to leave early. Still trying to find that balance......today......I will never give up trying.

Last Day Gambled: 12/2/02


S Jane Tuesday, 3/4/03, 8:32 AM

Day 4 of Abstenance. Still alot of emotions going on , and my head is still spinning. Reading messages and soaking it all in, still
learning and working on my recovery, EVERYDAY< EVERYMINUTE< EVERY SECOND. Each day is an eternity. I'm ready to move
on to Step 2.. and could use some help with this one, as I do not believe in 'GOD' in the traditional sense. Wondering just how
and where I will find my higher power. Suggestions will be greatly appreciated, will pass on all religious idols though. I know it's
time I dig deep and find the spiritual part of me that has been lost for so long. Can this be retrieved? Thanks for letting me
share.

Last Day Gambled: Feb 28, 03
Dennis P Tuesday, 3/4/03, 8:30 AM

When I first came into GA "I was busted, disgusted, and not to be trusted" My money problems were huge, they were all I
thought about, they were all my wife talked about...guilt...pain...anger...fear...these were exactly the emotions that created
within me an urge to gamble, not good. I thought that a bankrupcy would be the answer, but GA suggested that I first try a
pressure relief meeting, try to do it the GA way, not my way...I proved I was financially irresponsible, so what makes me think
that I know whats best for me when it comes to money issues...I proved that in my past whenever i got even too fast without
handling the consequences of my actions, I returned to gambling... WHY DID I QUESTION THE SUGGESTIONED TOOLS THAT
GA PROVIDED FOR ME, TO RETURN TO A NORMAL WAY OF THINKING AND LIVING?? BEFORE I JUDGE THE GA WAY, FIRST I
NEEDED TO HAVE A PRESSURE RELIEF GROUP MEETING, THEN IF THAT DOESN'T WORK THEN TRY SOMETHING ELSE. I'm so
glad I did not judge the pressure relief group meeting recovery tool, without ever having done one.

From: Seattle
Last Day Gambled: July 10, 1998


john m Tuesday, 3/4/03, 8:28 AM

You Make a Difference ====================== A teacher in New York decided to honor each of her seniors in high
school by telling them the difference they each made. She called each student to the front of the class, one at a time. First she
told each of them how they had made a difference to her and the class. Then she presented each of them with a blue ribbon
imprinted with gold letters, which read, "Who I Am Makes a Difference." Afterwards the teacher decided to do a class project to
see what kind of impact recognition would have on a community. She gave each of the students three more ribbons and
instructed them to go out and spread this acknowledgment ceremony. Then they were to follow up on the results, see who
honored whom and report back to the class in about a week. One of the boys in the class went to a junior executive in a nearby
company and honored him for helping him with his career planning. He gave him a blue ribbon and put it on his shirt. Then he
gave him two extra ribbons and said, "We're doing a class project on recognition, and we'd like you to go out, find somebody to
honor, give them a blue ribbon, then give them the extra blue ribbon so they can acknowledge a third person to keep this
acknowledgment ceremony going. Then please report back to me and tell me what happened." Later that day the junior
executive went in to see his boss who had been noted, by the way, as being kind of a grouchy fellow. He sat his boss down,
and he told him that he deeply admired him for being a creative genius. The boss seemed very surprised. The junior executive
asked him if he would accept the gift of the blue ribbon and would he give him permission to put it on him. His surprised boss
said, "Well, sure." The junior executive took the blue ribbon and placed it right on his boss's jacket above his heart. As he gave
him the last extra ribbon, he said, "Would you do me a favor? Would you take this extra ribbon and pass it on by honoring
somebody else. The young boy who first gave me the ribbons is doing a project in school, and we want to keep this recognition
ceremony going and find out how it affects people." That night the boss came home to his 14-year-old son and sat him down.
He said, "The most incredible thing happened to me today. I was in my office and one of the junior executives came in and told
me he admired me and gave me a blue ribbon for being a creative genius. Imagine. He thinks I'm a creative genius. Then he
put this blue ribbon that says "Who I Am Makes a Difference" on my jacket above my heart. He gave me an extra ribbon and
asked me to find somebody else to honor. As I was driving home tonight, I started thinking about whom I would honor with this
ribbon and I thought about you. I want to honor you. My days are really hectic, and when I come home I don't pay a lot of
attention to you. Sometimes I scream at you for not getting good enough grades in school and for your bedroom being a mess,
but somehow tonight, I just wanted to sit here and well, just let you know that you do make a difference to me. Besides your
mother, you are the most important person in my life. You're a great kid and I love you!" The startled boy started to sob and
sob, and he couldn't stop crying. His whole body shook. He looked up at his father and said through his tears, "Dad, earlier
tonight I sat in my room and wrote a letter to you and Mom explaining why I had killed myself and asking you to forgive me. I
was going to commit suicide tonight after you were asleep. I just didn't think that you cared at all. The letter is upstairs. I don't
think I need it after all." His father walked upstairs and found a heartfelt letter full of anguish and pain. The envelope was
addressed, "Mom and Dad." The boss went back

From: albuquerque
Web Site: GA friends of NM
Last Day Gambled: 12 Oct 98


Vicki B Tuesday, 3/4/03, 8:27 AM

Good Day, CGHub family. Another grateful compulsive gambler here, sharing my resolve to not gamble today. One day at a
time. Good to see Curtis here. (((Hugs))) to you dear brother. May the peace that passes all understanding comfort you during
this time of grief. (((Jim A))) you, too. Welcome to the new comers...this is a safe harbor. We understand. We too have lived
through the demoralization of our own compulsive gambling episodes. You are no longer alone. "Tie that knot and hang on!"
Thank-you to each of you for your sharing and caring here each day...You Are An Awesome Bunch! Back to work! Hugs, Vicki B

From: MI
Last Day Gambled: 10/11/02

Tuesday, 3/4/03, 8:23 AM
(((Jennifer)))) name it, and claim it...great stuff, (((Amber))) so right on, life is up and down, its how we see and handle our
thinking..embrace the day no matter what its looking like, it can get better :) Carole and if not what the hell, there's
tomorrow:)


Carole Tuesday, 3/4/03, 8:19 AM

ITS A NEW DAY.. Carole here, a recovering compulsive gambler and soooo much more, Delores, the last sentence of your post
"do you ever forgive yourself and do you ever get beyond it?"..its been almost a year since my big disaster, have been paying
out a loan(gambling debts) for a year and 2 more to go, yes I have forgiven me and yesterday, my husband and I actually
opened a savings acct. for a holiday next winter..honest to gosh, but that took many, many one day a times, it can be done, we
compulsives are tooooo impatient..be kind to you, and good for you in resisting and going to work instead, that is how I have
done it...bit by bit..:) no magic, lots of time and patience and steps, etc.....(((Sue))) if its BIG to you its BIG:):)(((Tracy)))you
can work this program, step by step..just like walking, step by step...(((Andy, Wayne)) just know it will be ok...((Wilma))) you
are soooooo brave, on a freeway, and without enough gas, you are my new hero:)(((JONI))) love the reflection, again, always
so powerful "my fear can help me as long as i LISTEN to it and not LIVE it...ohhh, love that....(((Charlie, I admire you, imagine
all that you have done here at the Hub and your recovery, and there you sat with the first step, courage, that is what I see,
always humbling this disease:))) (((Curtis)))you are also courageous, I am very sorry for your loss, so sad..and such a wise
post) Congratulations to all reaching a milestone, not sure enough of the names to point anyone out today, have made that
mistake too often, so if you are out there and reading, make yourself known OK...I have a very good feeling about this day, I
am alive, I am not sick, and to quote Marc " and the skies again will be blue"..so far this seems to be the case, but you never
know about tomorrow, so today, looking good, Carpe Diem, Seize the Day, Carole

From: british columbia, canada
E-mail: carols136@rcgsite.org
Last Day Gambled: march 6/2002


Jennifer Tuesday, 3/4/03, 8:03 AM

Forgiving Ourselves: Name it, claim it, and let it go! - by Gwendolyn M. Duhon, Ph.D. ~~~ The nature of being human is being
imperfect. We, as human beings, make mistakes every day. Making mistakes can be a great learning experience. ~~~ Finding
out how not to do something can be as important as discovering the correct way to do it. Some of the world¿s greatest
discoveries and inventions were the results of mistakes. The critical part in learning from our mistakes lies in how we deal with
ourselves in relation to our mistakes. Forgiving ourselves tends to be very difficult for some of us. Often, we will beat ourselves
up for doing the very thing that human beings are famous for -- making mistakes. There will be times when we make errors in
judgment. We may have acted impulsively -- consciously or unconsciously hurting others, hurting ourselves, or both. Or, we
may have acted after careful thought and consideration -- and still made a mistake. Once our mistakes are made, we can
choose how they affect us. Either we can spend a lifetime agonizing over our mistakes or we can name it, claim it, and let it go!
~~~ Name it: This step requires that we identify our role in making the mistake. Either we make a poor decision, acted
incorrectly, or did nothing, which itself is a choice. Identifying our role helps us to look at the situation more clearly and not
waste time blaming others for our actions. ~~~ Claim it: This step asks that we take responsibility for our mistake. Once we
claim it, it no longer has the power to haunt us. We have also learned how not to do something, which can be knowledge used
for dealing with future situations. ~~~ Let it go: This step can be the most difficult, especially if we have to live with the
consequences of our actions. There are always consequences from mistakes. Some consequences are insignificant, while other
mistakes can change the course of our lives. Letting go of our mistakes means letting go of the negative feelings associated
with making mistakes -- shame, disappointment, anger, regret, etc. Letting go of the negative feelings also frees us to deal
with life after the mistake -- whatever that may entail. Embrace yourself and be forgiving! ~~~ Gwendolyn Duhon, Ph. D. is
currently Assistant Professor in the Burton College of Education at McNeese State University in Lake Charles, LA. She is also an
author and motivational speaker.

From: Missouri
Web Site: Forgiving Ourselves: Name it, claim it, and let it go!
E-mail: jennifermo@kc.rr.com
Last Day Gambled: 2/27/03 ... the last day of my old life


Amber Tuesday, 3/4/03, 7:55 AM

Good Morning ((all)).........woke up this morning feeling troubled and apprehensive which sets the tone for a bad day. Days like
this, make me nervous. My recovery also involves learning how to cope with my emotions normally again. Not every day in life
is a great day...which is normal. However, as compulsive gambler, gray colored days can be dangerous days for me. I need to
remind myself that life is not always 'UP'....but infact a balanced mixture of 'up'...'down'...and everything in between. For so
long, I lived within a numbed state, which is how I was able to continue gambling when things were soooo bad. Being in a
numbed state also allowed me to 'celebrate' any good fortune by gambling. I didn't 'feel' anything and I didn't 'think' about
anything aside from planning my next trip gambling and how I would get the money to do it. To be driven by that 'unseen' urge
was a terrible way to live. I have also found that at times recovery can feel euphoric, which feels amazing...but it's also
unrealistic of me to think that every minute of every day should be that way. So....today, I remind myself to relax...everything
is as it should be for now.........ysir Amber
Last Day Gambled: the last day of my old life


Delores Tuesday, 3/4/03, 7:30 AM

ONE MORE THING....This last week brought some things out in me....if any of you have time to post about this, I'd love it! It's
about what I have done financially....I try not to think about it, because it makes me feel so bad.....but the memories are
around me of course, because I'm on a budget, and trying to pay money back....I feel good about paying the money back, but I
hate to think about all the money I have wasted, and what I have done to us. QUESTION: How do you ever get beyond it, and
truly forgive yourself, so that you aren't cringing whenever you think about it? Or do you? THANKS! YSIR Delores

From: Twin Cities, MN
E-mail: mntoots@msn.com
Last Day Gambled: 1/1/03


Delores Tuesday, 3/4/03, 7:25 AM

Good Morning. Well, I had to leave work for about an hour. My Mother's (71 yrs old) phone was off the hook, and I call her
every morning at the same time. Tried for over an hour, and went to her home. She was drinking coffee and reading the
paper.....accidentally didn't put the phone back on the cradle right. I'm grateful she's okay, she's my best friend. It's amazing
what the imagination can do! I will have to work late tonight to get my work done, but that's okay. I find that by posting each
day, it helps me to sort out my thoughts, and that's why I do. (((SUE))) loved your post! It was so uplifting to me! (((DEM))), I
gave you a new name. It was great to have you post.....this is a wonderful group to become a part of....the people out here
know me better than anyone, and understand me, I just love them. This is a place that I try to pour my heart and soul out to,
the best that I can. No one judges me, just supports me, and makes me feel good about myself, and I am sooo grateful for
that. ................................ I tend to kid hard with people, and maybe go a little too deep, and I think I need to work on this.
They kid me hard too (work)....but some times it cuts deep. But I find that people treat me, the way that I treat them.....so it's
up to me to change. I haven't been finding Peace at work lately, and I do like what I do, it's just the people can drive me crazy.
And lately there's a lot of work, which brings on a lot of pressure to work extra hours. I get so tired, and just don't want to
work those extra hours........So I need to dump guilt if I'm not going to, and feel okay about it. Worrying about my Mom this
morning, made my mind a little crazy. It gave me urges on the way back to work to gamble.....I felt like not returning and
driving to the casino, but I didn't..... HAVE A WONDERFUL BET FREE DAY! And newcomers, we've all been there, keep coming
back! We care about you, with no judgement! YSIR Delores
From: Twin Cities, MN
E-mail: mntoots@msn.com
Last Day Gambled: 1/1/03


Valorie Tuesday, 3/4/03, 6:57 AM

Again, such great heart-felt posts this past 24- hours. It really does take courage to post. To share where we are on this
journey, to put our "stuff" out here in cyber space...to take those risks. I've never really thought about people "lurking,"
reading the posts, not responding to the pain and the joy. Taking what they need and leaving the rest. Hmmmm food for
thought. Nothing wrong with it of course, just never gave it much thought. I feel blessed to be part of the HUB community. I
look forward to reading each day, to watching the growth and sharing in the recovery experiences of my fellow travelers. I
personally believe we are an awesome bunch!!!! My hope is that if anyone is reading, wondering if they should participate, that
they just do it. Trust me, you will be welcomed. Before I begin the getting ready for work process I want to thank Jim A for
sharing your good-byes to Henry. Such a wonderful tribute to your brother, and to your family. Thanks Jim. And,
congratulations to our milestoners today. My strength. Have a safe Tuesday all. YSIR, Val

From: Oregon
Last Day Gambled: 2/17/03


Curtis L Tuesday, 3/4/03, 6:56 AM

Great day to be bet free. Haven't been around here much lately; in fact, haven't been online very much. My wife, Donna, died
thirty days ago and I'm still very vunerable, raw, sensitive, or whatever.~~~~~~ I do truly appreciate the love and support
that I've received from a lot of you, and like I've told my online AA support group; I'm taking more and not giving much these
days; sort of like when we first start recovery. I need to listen to all of you share your experience, stength, and hope. As a
fellowship, we help each other and lean on each other for support. I couldn't quit gambling by myself. I tried, but simply could
not quit. Kept going back until I found GA. From listening to others share about how they didn't bet "One day at a time", I
found that I could refrain from betting for an hour or even a day. So, right now I don't gamble. If I stay in the now, I'll be
OK.~~~~~~~~~~~~ Love and Hugs in the fellowship of the 12 Steps, Curtis

From: Goliad, TX
E-mail: curtis093040@selectrec.net
Last Day Gambled: 5-9-01
Linda C Tuesday, 3/4/03, 5:43 AM

Good Morning friends, felt the need to post before I start my gamble free day. What a blessing that is! Sue I understand your
feelings,to just let go and let GOD, prayer is the answer..feels good and right. Damaris, I like you was a lurker..also learned
alot that way..thanks for coming out today and sharing your ES&H. I'm trying to stay out and share more often.. think it might
keep me more focused. Tracy, don't give up,it will happen, your wakeup moment.You can't help yourself if you hate yourself
and you have no reason to hate you, it's not your fault, you have a disease like the rest of us..we understand. Keep coming
back. Well need to get a move on, have a wonderful betfree day friends:) :) :) Linda C

From: WI
E-mail: lindacal2001@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 03-01-03


wayne Tuesday, 3/4/03, 5:40 AM

hi my name is wayne.i feel like loser because i lost 80 dollar at watermeet casino.i talk to my sponer lou and she told meto
come to ga tonight.i told her i feel like giveing up.because i strew up to much.i feel like locking myself in my room and just
sleep.when i sleep i cant strew up.i am real fusterated and fed up with myself.i am real mad at myself.i just cant win never.my
brain tell me yes you can win but dont happen.i am loser plain and simple.have better day than i haven.

From: iron mountain
Web Site: shyguy8192001@yahoo.com
E-mail: shyguy8192001@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 3-4-03


Tuesday, 3/4/03, 5:08 AM

Date: Tue, 04 Mar 2003 Today's thought is: A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice. - E. W. Howe Do you let
yourself be afraid of your illness? You'd better. Many of us were scared into sobriety. Often, a spiritual awakening directly
follows a good scare. Fear seems to improve our vision. Are you smart enough to run from your addiction? The First Step
should create fear inside us. It's about looking honestly at our addiction and what would happen to us if we kept using. Looking
at Step One regularly will give us the respectful fear we need to stay sober. Often fear is seen as bad, but it can be good, if we
listen to it. It can be a great mover. When you're afraid, your spirit is trying to tell you something. Prayer for the Day God,
direct my fear. Have me go to You, family, friends, and others who love me. Help me see my fear and listen to its message.
Action for the Day I'll list five ways that my fear has taught me important lessons. I'll see that my fear can help me as long as I
listen to it and not live in it. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Today's meditation comes from the book Keep It Simple by
Anonymous copyright 1989 sharing..ysir, love JoniB


rich r Tuesday, 3/4/03, 4:58 AM

Thanks for reading this. My name is rich r and I am a compulsive gambler. By rights, a compulsive gambler is suposed to do
what today? Gamble, right? Of course, just like an alcoholic is suppose to drink alcohol and a compulsive overeater is suppose
to overeat today, etc. My hope is that today THIS compulsive gambler will not gamble today. I know my willpower is strong at
times. But, I also know that willpower is not enough for this illness. I need another power. One that is greater than my
willpower to help me today. I am asking that power to take over when/if I get that dumb urge/thot to gamble today. Thanks for
letting me share. ~~~ I'll be back :-) [I love reading the posts here, talk about diversity! And yet, we share a common problem
and possibly a common solution, too]

From: detroit
E-mail: richr121500@yahoo,com
Last Day Gambled: 121500


Charlie P Tuesday, 3/4/03, 4:53 AM

Charlie P here an RCG. Delores, thanks for the pics at Kansas City. I put them up for all to get a chance to see on a Hub page.
Click on the link to see them. They will take a few moments to load as they are all on one page. YBIR Charlie P

From: Live in Mississippi
Web Site: KC Hubster Photos
E-mail: cp044@bellsouth.net
Last Day Gambled: 2/23/03


Joni B Tuesday, 3/4/03, 4:34 AM
God Morning precious friends..I am a cg..and by the Grace of God discovering soooo much more:) woke up this morning soo
rested, bit tired after my trip..and mondays are always busier at work..did stop in Steves meeting last nite..my..we shared on
what Unity meant to us..could just feel the Love in that Room....sooooooo neat...from day one of my Recover Journey..thats
been what has kept me on my path..feeling that unconditional love and caring...and that comfy feeling and Hope in
Today..knowing that 24/7 one of you are there to support and encourage me:) ThankYou for the Gift of YOU!! A Big Congrats to
all the Milestoners...CLap CLap CLap.. those coming and reaching and sharing..whether several years..to ONE Fresh New
DAY..we are the same..the beauty in that..keeps my heart seeping..yep..just cant help it...For years..I longed for that kind of
love..the kind that just flows so natural..the kind that..comes so uncondionally..and when I found All of YOU..I learn something
from each one of you..as Sasha shared..we all differ in some ways and beliefs..but ohhhh that brings the Spice and enriches a
Fellowship..wouldn't just be too boring if we were all the Same in our thoughts..and our personalities..just can't even imagine
that:):) The beauty is..we share a common loving Bond..we are all compulsive gamblers..with a desire to share our
growth..and experiences, and daily experiences and lives to get where we need to git..and that is to a comfy acceptance a
place of peace within..and the serenity that we all so Deserve as God so wants for us..So that we can Enjoy this precious Live
he has given us..Enjoy the simple Gifts hes sooo put here for us to enjoy..the Beauty around us..the love of family and friends
to enjoy it with..and most of All..The Love within us..the acceptance that we are his Miracle and Gift..and to Enjoy
US..within..and truely Enjoy our time within us..to feel comfy with us..discover the Gifts we each have , to really love ourselves
as he soo does.. Yep..Recovery is about being at peace within..and loving what IS..yeppers..going to do that Today.. Join me
K..((((HUG)))))YOU!! and share those Hugs and Smiles..its Contagious..and just makes ya feel soooo fuzzy inside..and
yep...the Heart just seeps..smiles. Love YOu Precious People..can't help it..SIMPLE!! off to make my Day..just know its going to
be a Goodie..smiling:):) ysir, Love Joni

From: Nebr
Last Day Gambled: 7/08/00 Grateful


Patty Tuesday, 3/4/03, 4:33 AM

Morning All. My prayers are with those who are in Pain right now...but only to remember this too shall pass...God when others
used to say that to me when i was in real pain...I felt like hitting them..but you know it does pass...and to know this eases
things a little...one day at a time...yes that is the one for me....Reading all the shares on here each morning helps me to stay in
the moment...I need this cause my head may tell me otherwise...that i don't need the twelve steps and the people...huh...I
have a lot of False Pride..thinking I can go things myself...but T-day I can honestly say....I don't have a problem in asking for
help....that is a miricle...At first I could not phone another member ...it scared the life out of me....But my sponsor
suggested...Fake it to make it....go on try it she said...And I did.. T-day many years later...I actually do it without even thinking
about it...thank you all for being here....with love in the fellowship... Patty.....

From: Ireland
E-mail: oconnorpatti@hotmail.com


sue Tuesday, 3/4/03, 4:24 AM

Hi, I am sue an I am a grateful compulsive gambler. Grateful in the fact that I have so many friends here at the hub, and in my
own face to face meetings...I was very excited (i know it's not big but to me it is). Last night, they asked me to take on a
responsibility at the meetings. I am now the "coffee lady". I couldn't believe how excited I got that people actually believe in
my enough to ask me to take on something. I feel so involved. And this meeting is my "home" meeting too. First one I went to
when I first went to GA in October. I really got into the meeting last night. Some of the members have such insightful thoughts
on this disease. I was also proud of myself - did my "homework" for my therapist appointment today. I look forward to that
too...then it is followed up with a GA meeting. I am feeling so good guys, I am very encouraged that I have direction this time
to try to combat this disease. Step 11 (which was the step last night) mentions prayer helps you cope. Yesterday, the money
issues started flying in the house again and I found myself with that stinking thinking again. But I took a minute to myself,
cried a bit, then prayed. It worked!!!! It made me feel better. I really need to pursue this avenue a lot more in my life. Today is
day 10...yippee! Anyways, (((Sasha))) I think that you are doing a great job with that daily hug list. You are truly amazing...to
sit and type that, it really seems to add so much joy to everyone's day. Keep it up! To anyone having a difficult time - keep
coming! I know what it feels like to be stuck in that vicious cycle of thinking it's never gonna stop. Give yourselves a break and
take it one minute at a time. That's what I do for myself. Right now I am just riding that pink cloud and it feels so right. But
this time, I will not get content. I will keep working this hard, I am searching for my happiness in this world. I hope you all
have a great day....peace and hugs to you all....sue

From: massachusetts
E-mail: suemass2000@aol.com
Last Day Gambled: 02/22/03


Tuesday, 3/4/03, 4:09 AM

Reflection for the DAY...We may not know any specifics about the activities of today; we may not know whether we'll be alone
or with others. We may feel the day contains too much time--or not enough. We may be facing tasks we're eager to complete,
or tasks we've been resisting. Though the details of each person's day differ, each day holds one similarity for us all; each of us
has the opportunity to choose to think positive thoughts. The choice depends less on our outside activities than on our inner
commitment. Can I accept that I alone have the power to control my attitude? Today I Pray..May I keep the fire of inner
commitment alive through this whole, glorious day, whether my activities are a succession of humdrum tasks or free-form and
creative. May I choose to make this a good day for me, and for those around me. Today I WILL Remember..Keep the
commitment. sharing..A Day at a time..GA..The HUB


Dave Of Beckenham Tuesday, 3/4/03, 3:59 AM

My name is Dave I am a compulsive Gambler and will be till the day I DIE! I use to react badly to the truth, the truth hurt.
Reality I was not ready for? But honesty is what I am about today. Some peoples honesty can be an eye opener. I use to think
I could never be that honest! I believed it. Yet as time passes I gain confidence and strength to be myself. At one time did not
know who I was. It is not fair for any one to be put on a pedestal. It is not healthy. I am at one with the world. Some one told
me once I was nieve. It was a word to me. Now I am learning it has meaning. I was very nieve. They say we get the
goverments we deserve, that is scarey? Am I that bad ? In a world of conflict it is unsettling. But I have learnt to accept. I am
able to feel for people as I do telephone duty. It in itself is a learning process. First time I did it I was very scared. But as I did
it I gained confidence. Like most things it is gettting over the thought of failing or failure. Yet logically whos best to talk to a
compulsive Gambler? Understanding my reactions is a big part of my recovery. Reacting out of pain fear or frustration use to be
my life. Use to say and do things with out thinking. I had no choice in those days. Money represents more choices and to some
extent security but in itself it is not happiness. Being true to your self is important part of my recovery. Honesty sets you free
they say. What price is your recovery, your effort, your time and your actions. It was very difficult for me to become honest. It
took many years of lsitening and learning. But time well spent. I started in GA 33 years ago. I know it is where I belong, a
place where I learn to live a normal life. Learn to be free of fear itself. Be myself and say it as I feel it. Recovery works if you
tully want it. I got sick of feeling sick. I now know I deserve better now. Not what I have in my wallet but how I feel about
myself. Today I like myself. Today I am worthy of working on myself. I never knew what balance was untill GA. I never knew
that in hurting the ones I loved I hurt myself. Each day is a blank sheet to put my mark. To do the things I need and want to
do. To be the person I knew my dad could have been. He died a lost sick soul. Such sadness such waste. Time is precious. A
persons love and respect are very precious how can I justify loosing those? In Shirley I see the strength I need, she has so so
much to give and asks for very little. Yet today I am able to give. Where does despiration end and faith begin? It is all our
choice. Each day being precious. It is for our taking or run away. This heart grows found of life and all it has to give. I am
freinds with my worst enemy today ME. Love to you all. Dave.

From: Uk For Now!
E-mail: gadaveuk@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 1992 August
marc Tuesday, 3/4/03, 3:47 AM

Just look beyond today for blessings, Look past the skies of somber grey, And look beyond the trials and heartaches When God
will turn your night to day. Dear one, just trust Him in the shadow. He wants the very best for you. He'll walk beside you in the
valley, His grace and love will see you through. Just look beyond today for blessings. In God's time He'll reveal to you The
many joys that are awaiting, The joys He's chosen just for you. So don't give up, keep on believing - There's happiness ahead
for you. Soon God will turn your trials to triumph, And skies again will shine bright blue.


marc Tuesday, 3/4/03, 3:44 AM

good early morning to all, welcome to all newcomers to the hub. and to all with the recent slips, we feel your pain as well!
please try to remember,none of us is perfect in this life, nor will we ever be, so when you experince a setback in your recovery,
try to gain something from it,to build on your next level of achevment.we are all here for support,so if anyone gets that feeling
,you know what they say, if you feel the need, start hitting those keys!!! stay safe today and god bless!! marc

From: ar
Last Day Gambled: 10-01-02


Tuesday, 3/4/03, 3:36 AM

The HUB would like to congratulate All those reaching another Milestone!!Tom S (Mpls). 5-3-92 Angel W. 1-3-01..Sherry E. 11-
3-01..Susie H. 3-3-02 1 YEAR!!.Lou N. 3-3-02 1 YEAR!!Norma G. 1-3-02 Elizabeth C. 3-3-02..1 YEAR!!Deb A. 4-03-02 Paul D 7-
3-02..Diane S 1-3-03..CLAP CLAP CLAP.. ThankYOU for YOUR ES & HOPE!! CELEBRATE "TODAY" so WORTH IT..YOU ARE!!!:):)


Michelle Tuesday, 3/4/03, 3:32 AM

Mornin Hubbers! Well I made it one whole week! Puting up them road blocks and doing healthy things with my free time. Saw
sister yesterday after I started divorce proceedings. I thought she was gonna keel over n die! She looked so BAD! Looked liek
she had aged 20 yrs! Her color was all wrong and she looked terrible! We wnt out for nachos and she wanted to go home right
away. Scared me as she staggered to the car. Nearly took her to ER then she was sick in my car. All a sudden her color came
back n she looked fine. What got me was when we got to her house she poured herself a vodka on the rocks. Cant tell you how
much that bothered me! Made her promise me to go in for a physical as she relayed how the same thing happened to her about
a week ago. Shes under alot of stress, has her daughter living at home again only been there a week now and already sister is
strung out. I tell her I dont know how she deals with having such a terror for a kid, she holds up her drink and says that was
how she deals with it. Sis was spoze to give me a perm yesterday but seeeing as her health isnt up to par told her id wait a
week or 2. She sure gave me a scare yesterday. Hope she follows thru and gets a physical. Sure am enjoying dating a "real
man" One who opens doors for me and treats me with kindness and respect, one who dont drink drug or gamble and is
emotionally and financially stable...... taking it slow, just seeing him on the weekends...... Such a nice man tho, has kinda re-
newed my faith in men again. I will never give the option to "shack up" even the slightest bit of thought..... no matter how
baddly he spoils me..... and man o man does he ever spoil me rotton! Just cant convince a man yer the "marryin' kind" if yer
willing to "play house" with just anyone. Looking forward to going to his house this weekend and meeting his puppies. Hes
gonna deep fry a turkey for us this weekend. Were gonna take Kristina bowling and finally will get to see that movie "SiQns" or
"Signs" ?? Been wanting to see it forever he has it on DVD. Then have to leave early Sunday so Kristina and i dont miss our
church stuff. Snow is finally headed our way. I dont mind the snow just driving in it makes me a wreck! So hoping roads are
cleared this weekend. I actually went to see my Dad yesterday. Just broke down n cried he hugged me till I stopped crying, told
him was rediculous the way this family behaves and was senseless that my daughter didnt have any grandparents.... he said
that he would talk to ma and they woudl work on it. Said he thinks its rediculous as well. Told him I am not looking to have the
"Big loving warm tender family" Im not dillusional.... but some progress would be nice. So tho I dont actually expect much to
come of it I did feel good to make an attempt. Lots of pride n "ego's" get in the way of relationships in my family. I know thats
not gonna change anytime soon. Told Dad so too, told him all I can do is make an effort, but nothign will happen if they dont
too. Boils down to "acceptance" accepting each for what and who they are and enjoy what you can about them and leave the
rest. Coz to ask for change in my family is asking WAY too much. Well thats all I have to share today. Today I will not gamble!
Love, Michelle

Last Day Gambled: Feb 24th 2003


Damaris Tuesday, 3/4/03, 2:54 AM

Hello Hubsters. I am a lurker who was very surprised today to see my name on the hub. I do have two years recovery time but
I also have anonymity in my GA program. I have an unusual name and have not been sure what name to post under for my
comfort level. I will work through this one. Since I am 'outed', I would like to say that while lurking the hub has helped me
work my program by reminding me to practice principles before personalities...remember where I came from...work on not
posting and trying to 'fix' everyone (ha)...stick to the 12 steps...ODAAT...reminding me to be grateful and many more lessons.
Probably the greatest lesson for me from the hub has been realizing that experience, strength and hope is all we really have to
offer. I will continue to lurk, LISTEN, sort and filter (take what I can use) work on what irritates me (usually means I needed to
hear it). The list is endless. Thanks for sharing your wisdom. PS - Delores, How about two f2f meetings this week..ha We are
fortunate in our area to have f2f GA meetings every day of the week. We also like page 17 in MN.

From: MN
Last Day Gambled: 01-21-01


Living psalm March 4th 2003 Tuesday, 3/4/03, 2:49 AM

Not to us, O Lord, not to us but to your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness. - Psalm 115:1,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Too often we ask
God to glorify his name with ours. There is nothing wrong with looking good or impressing others, but the problem occurs when
we want to look good no matter what happens to God's reputation in the process. Before you pray, ask yourself, "Who will get
the credit if God answers my prayer?" Me or Him?


Andy Tuesday, 3/4/03, 2:40 AM

Nice no's 03/03/03 Rock bottom numbers. Having ignored all previous knowledge & understanding etc of the disease, and
having realised a new awarenes, including a spiritual awareness, scorning those afflicted, and feeling dissimilar from those
fellows, answering the call of the addiction and pursuing this mindless obsession, he returns here not broken but broke. I'm
going to start again, I have to! 9.45pm Tuesday Sydney

From: Sydney
E-mail: ajax2002@bigpond.com
Last Day Gambled: 03/03/03


sylvi b Tuesday, 3/4/03, 1:44 AM

IN MEMORIAM : THE REVEREND JACK BOLAND, RECOVERED ALCOHOLIC

From: mi
Web Site: http://www.lecworld.org/pictour/pic6htm
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02


sylvia Tuesday, 3/4/03, 1:37 AM

Dear Hubbers, Please join me in remembering today Jack Boland, a great supporter of 12 step recovery groups, who died on
this date go to http://www.lecworld.org/pictour/pic6.htm

From: mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02


Dave Of Beckenham Tuesday, 3/4/03, 1:01 AM

My name is Dave I am a compulsive Gambler and will be till the day I DIE! It is nice to accept that fact, no need to hide, no
need to lie. I am learning to face my feelings face myself. Understand what makes me feel bad about myself, and do some
thing about it. I never understood how Shirley was able to Love me unconditionally. I think I must have thought her a mug. But
as I heal I learn to appreciate respect her kindness but also how to learn from her. We learn from each other in a way now. It is
like we share the better qualities of ourslves. Her face and skin looked so healthy yesterday, I told her so. I have been
affectionate towards her, more than ever. Giving her my attention my love. More importantly giving myself. In my addiction I
was there physically but not there with my heart. In the old days I was not able to feel, I suppressed every thing including
myself. Healing recovery enables me to deal with feelings now. Cry if I want to. The little hurt child is learning to be a man. Yes
I was sexually physically & emotionally abused, but my parents were not able to nuture me. They did not know how. Like a
plant needs water I needed lots of warmth attention and love. It is sad that they to were victims of thei child hood. Some
people have problem with victim word. I do not. If some thing happenes to or you are denied good parenting you are cheated a
victim of denial a victim of abuse you do not have a say. Lack of self esteem, the having to syndrome, self abuse are all for me
childhood experiences where I had no say. As a 54 year old man I have been able to ask my mother and tell her what I want,
also what is healthy and what it unhealthy. Mother use to make me feel guilty, I now know it is not right. I think we have best
relationship we have ever had in our lives. Mum feels she is being abondononed by us touring, by Shirley emigrating to Canada
& USA but as we now know what we do want and need we also know what we do not want or need. Boundaries are good if held
with out anger. To be at peace with boundaries is healthy. I no longer live the victim of my own silence. I use to hate that. I
use to hate myself. Nothing worse than having known what needed to be said or done, and failed in not saying or doing it. Here
is a place where I cleanse my soul.Ok some times it is little stories but today I am not emotionally constipated. Some one once
told me I suffered from verbal diarea. Maybe that should be put on my grave stone? LOL. If you knew the man I use to be and
the man I am today you would be very surprised. I am surprised. Getting angry and worrying resolve nothing. Maybe people
feel they have earned the right to be angry, maybe they enjoy it? But for me I prefer to leave it alone, some one else can have
my share if they like ? I do not cuss like I used to. Verbal abuse is not that often now. I like myself so self hatred is not issue
today. I think it is just that I have turned around to be the man I am today. Some people might argue the fact. Some might
think I deserve to suffer more for what I did? For the pain I inflicted on the ones I love my conscience was my whip. MY guilt
burdened my long after I had stopped Gambling. Even though my body pains me like hell, some times the soul is more at
peace than I could ask for. Bottling it all up does not work. I know that. Opening up my heart and my mind works I know that.
For those suffering please do not give up on your selves. You, we deserve better than we give ourselves. Self abuse, denial we
can all do with out that today. I am freinds with my worst enemy today ME. Love to you all Dave

From: Uk For Now!
E-mail: gadaveuk@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 1992 August


Wilma Tuesday, 3/4/03, 12:46 AM

Hello everyone. The is Wilma a CG who is grateful to be in recovery ODAAT. I have been busy today so just trying to catch up
reading the post. Like someone said last week, by the time you finish reading the post you have no time to gamble. I keep
myself really busy today. I spent almost a whole day with my GA sister, did a lot of fun things. We went sight seeing and see
some snow on top of the mountain around my neighborhood. We don't get snow here so a little bit of snow on top of the
mountain we get excited right away. We barbecued steak for dinner and did karaoke singing after dinner. Bless her heart she
made sure I was worn out so I won't even have time to think about gambling. My roadblocks is still in place. It won't be lifted
until my SO arrives home I just have to make sure I have enough gas in my car before I run around town. Yesterday I forgot I
have no ATM card with me I went to a late lunch with my GA sister I noticed when I was in the freeway that my gas tank is low.
Good thing we went to a cheap restaurant. I had enough cash to buy gas. We then went to a meeting last night and will be
going again tomorrow night and my home meeting Thursday, step meeting on Saturday and another meeting on Sunday and
Tuesday and then Thursday he will be home so I think I will be safe. Plus reading the post here everyday. Congratulations to all
celebrating milestones today and my prayers to all who suffers. I also would like to be with you in the chatroom (like Carole)but
my when my SO is home he likes to watch his TV shows with me, I don't really care for some of them but I am happy he likes
me my company. So during commercial I run to the computer and read more post. I do have an Instant Messeger
(WILMA102102@YAHOO.COM)if anyone want to IM me. Don't know about the long distance because I never see the bill. Thank
you so much everyone for your support on my almost relapse. Sending my hugs to all on (Shasha's)list. Thank you Sasha.
Thanks for the hugs too. Thank you all for you post. Goodnight and hopefully I can sleep. And I'll back. Love, Wilma

From: Arizona
E-mail: wilma102102@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 10-21-02
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Hub Posts Wednesday 3/5/03
Wilma Wednesday, 3/5/03, 11:43 PM

Welcome ((DAVE))you have come to the right place. We all know what you are going through. On the home page, on the left,
click the title Combo Book and Coping with Urges. There are more to read. Keep posting and reading. Wilma

From: Arizona
E-mail: wilma102102@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 10-21-02


sasha Wednesday, 3/5/03, 11:34 PM

Had a great f2f meeting tonight. Called JoniB and shared for awhile. The chair of the group I went to was interested in the HUB.
At first he kept saying this and that about this and that...and one other member finally said, they have all that on the net...`12
step, meetings etc....Anyway, he is interested and wants me to send him the link...so I will after this post. I enjoyed the
meetin. I had to be honest with them, I will be back, however I am working this recovery and apply the tools GA
recommends....I may come to meetings once a month, maybe more...but I wanted them to know that I do value them and
have thought about them....the sharing was great and I exchanged numbers with two women...one of which recieved their 1
year pin a few weeks ago. She is a petit Thai woman with such a great dispostion...I can only thank each and everyone of you
for without you, I may not have attended this meeting tonight. BUT MAN, I ENDED up CRY...such a sap !!!!! I suppose it is part
of my cleansing and forgiveness to me....letting it out...Saw four people I had met a while back...great seeing them....I made a
mistake, the one guy has 30 years clean...then there is a woman who can not seem to get to 90days, but man does she
continue working the program as best as she can. Met a new person...three days clean. GOTTA MAKE YOU ALL LAUGH..when
the chair said...Okay, here is your first meeting keychain, you date is today....I looked at him and horror and SAID no no, my
LGD is Jan 21, 03!! LOLOLOLOL he was like, ok ok...but I understand what he was saying, and that is okay with me. He did say,
I will put that date.LOLOL then another member said, yeah, dont take away all the 40+ days she has been clean....I really dont
care, it was alllll GOOODDD. Anyway, who knows if I will go back, I am sure I will...it may not become a habit until I allow it
too....I love the HUB and all I get from this place....however, if time passes and I see I need more, I will be heading to the
meetings...I did share about the day I was on my way to the casino....and told them, the thought about my family here really
helped me make that UTURN...I as we all say, we take what we know works for us...and if GA was never established, we may
not be here today...hhmmmmm well you know what I mean. Strength love and peace out...Melissa

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


Dave Of Beckenham Wednesday, 3/5/03, 11:31 PM

My name is Dave I am a compulsive Gambler and will be till the day I DIE! Slough was very good open meeting. I enjoyed it.
Manage to speak my mind to a few people which I was grateful. I saw one man who it was very apprarent he had let go fo his
anger and seemed very serene, in fact he was amazed by the change in him. I know that feeling! It is a long journey burt well
the effort. Not able to do it on a regular basis though. One man om previous open missed him but was able to send card and
clearly expressed my admiration for him and his wife. Well tonight they complimented me on my card. I Print them myself. Not
all that good but the front of the card says it all. I ate to much which I was a bit dissapointed with. The open meeting
represented all that was good about the programme. Faith hope and strength. It does me good to see and feel a person
opening up to the idea that things can be different than they were. That we can all the ourselves if we choose to be. That I
know deep down I am not an evil or bad person. I am just a person who has at different times lost my way. Through pain and
frustration I had got so twisted up did not know how to grow up mature. It is hard to love when you are in pain. It is difficult to
listen when you are hurting. Yet if you asked me when I came int the rooms I would have not been able to say I was hurting. I
would admit I hurt every one else but could not see or feel how much I was hurting. It has taken me many years to admit and
find that out. To get in touch with my feelings. Today I like myself. I still have that enthusiasm for life and it challenges. Well
LOve to you all Dave

From: Uk For Now!
E-mail: gadaveuk@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 1992 August


Wilma Wednesday, 3/5/03, 9:30 PM

Hello everyone. Wilma here a CG grateful to be in recovey ODDAT. I have a wonderful day with myself today just relax in my PJ
and in the afternoon went out shopping for my vacation. I felt good so I trusted myself with the ATM card. I have to watch
myself because I can be a compulsive spender too. For those who is having problem with guilt I feel for you. When I think
about how much money I put on those machines and think about how many poor nieces and nephews of mine I can help with
the money, I felt so guilty and angry that it was making me sick. Sick enough to want to punish myself to go back gambling.
Until I started working step 2 and 3. I turn it all to god of my understanding and forgive myself. If God forgive me, why can't I
forgive myself. It was not easy. But I am a good loving person with a gambling problem and don't want to gamble anymore. To
those who have not confess to their husband or partner or SO, about the money, my SO still don't know about the money part.
He knows about the relapse but he has not ask me about the money yet. He told me before that if I gamble again he will kick
me out. He didn't kick me out when he ask me if I gamble again and I said yes. He was very disappointed and I told him I am
doing something about it.I don't know if he will if he finds out about the money. I am afraid to tell him because I don't know
what he will do. But if he ask I'm sure I will tell him and face the consequences. There are two things that can happen: 1. he
will kick me out of the house, that I can start over don't want to, but I will have no choice. 2. he will pay off my credit card and
will be angry with me for awhile and I will never learn my lesson. If he didn't pay off my credit card before I could still be
paying for it and no way of adding more to it. I don't know if I am making sense here but thanks for listening. Congratulations
to all celebrating whatever milestones. My prayers to all who still suffers. Thank you all for your support and your post and your
e-mails. Sending my hugs to all on Sashas list.Goodnight everyone!!!Love, Wilma

From: Arizona
E-mail: wilma102102@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 10-21-02


Jay L. Wednesday, 3/5/03, 9:30 PM

Life really does get better without the wager each and every day. If it didn't, I'd be back gambling! Have a great night
everyone!

From: Arizona
E-mail: jaylaz123@hotmail.com
Last Day Gambled: November 5, 2000.


Dave Wednesday, 3/5/03, 8:26 PM

I am a newcomer to this site, and I hope that this can provide some assistance and comfort in tackling this disease that has
literally ruined my life. I am in my late 20's, and have only been gambling (sports) for approximately 9 years. It has become an
all consuming passion, literally something I think about all day until 7 PM, when the next round of action starts up. Needless to
say, I have been devastated financially from all the gambling, but it also has ruined my social life, as personal and romantic
relationships have been compromised due to this addiction. I recently hit rock bottom and have finally made a committment to
myself to finally take control of my life and quit. As we all know, that is much easier said than accomplished and at this point I
am taking it one day at a time. I am looking for any and all kinds of encouragement and suggestions in any way that can help
me quit this problem which has ruined my life. Although gambling is not as glamourous an addiction as drugs or alcohol, I have
learned the hard way that it can be (or in my case probably is) more financially damaging and emotionally trying than these
other addictions. As you can see by my last day gambled date, I am just getting started with my new life, and I am very
excited about the possibility of actually retaking control of my life. I certainly enter into this new phase of my life will a full
realization that this process will have it's high and low moments, but I have committed to myself to follow through until I no
longer look at the sports page first thing in the morning to check the early lines, or to be able to watch a sporting event without
wondering what the spread is. If anyone has any advice, please either respond on the message boards or send an email, I
would love to hear from others who understand what this problem is all about without being judged. I can only hope and pray
that I can make it through. Thanks.

From: Washington, DC
Web Site: Dave
E-mail: dc41@hotmail.com
Last Day Gambled: 3-4-03


Charlie P Wednesday, 3/5/03, 8:02 PM

Charlie P here an RCG. Taking things one day at a time. Still on the high from attending my Monday nite meeting. Glad that I
did go and not procrastinate over it. Off this weekend early to New Orleans to look at potential hotels for our bid for a national
conference. We have to have the bid ready for the National meeting in Toronto...Getting back into the grove of where I need to
be, to concentrate more on my daily journey. Feels good to be at this point this week. Beast is starting to go back to sleep. Still
some urges, but I can take the urges rather than to be in that insanity again......Good to see all the new milestones, welcome
newcomers. Bless us all. YBIR Charlie P

From: Live in Mississippi
E-mail: cp044@bellsouth.net
Last Day Gambled: 2/23/03


Marie Wednesday, 3/5/03, 7:42 PM

Hi All,~~~~~~Just checking in for my HUB fix this evening. Thought I'd check in before reading the posts. Am a couple of days
behind and I think I'm going through withdrawal. Know what you all mean by being addicted to this site. But it's a wonderful
addiction.~~~~~ Made it through another gamble free day. It really is a GREAT feeling.~~~~Tuesday evening I attended my
fourth CG group therapy session. It really was a nice evening. We have a terrific bunch of people there. The core group has
pretty much remained the same, with a couple of new faces and some that have stopped coming. But, the great thing is the
bonds that are starting to form between some. Four of us made plans to go out after the meeting next Tuesday and have our
own little face to face. Really looking forward to that! ~~~~~ The evenings discussion was about the costs and benefits,
emotionally, financially, spiritually and in our relationships, that gambling has had on our lives. It really was an evening of
wonderful sharing. Some things I never would even have thought of. I had a block on anything that would be beneficial. But,
some of the ideas that came up sure did hit home. The list on the cost side was, of course, much longer than the benefits. But,
when looking at it in black and white, you realize also that the benefits are all so selfish, and short- lived. While the
consequences or costs....well, we all know how long they last.~~~~~~ Things seem to be coming together for me. I'm starting
to put a lot of time and effort into my recovery. And, I believe I'm starting to reap the benefits.~~~~~ I also received the
check from insurance to make the repairs to my auto. I have to admit having that kind of money brought on a bit of the urge.
Well, roadblocks went up!!! Went right over to Mom and gave her the check to hold until the repairs are done. I don't even
want it in my checking account right now! To tempting. Don't need to fool around with that. Making progress I think!
ODAAT~~~~~Well, need to get my rest. More snow for us tomorrow! Need to be fresh for shoveling. YUCK!!! Can't take much
more of it!! HUGS TO ALL! Thanks for keeping me grounded all!~~~~~Marie

From: Rhode Island
E-mail: MBrasi@aol.com
Last Day Gambled: 02/07/03


Dal B Wednesday, 3/5/03, 7:14 PM

Hi, yeah, you read it right, it may change, my date. Needless to say, I had a bad day. Funny how the day can look so good and
turn to crappy. (GRRRRRRRR!!!) I don't know, I wonder if this job is worth keeping. I remember talking with my mother years
ago and she once said "Don't think I always had a good time at work, there were days I wanted to quit, but with 3 kids, what
would I do?" ............... Yep, don't have the "kids" but I do have some creatures dependednt upon me..Soooo...(SIGH) I'll see
what happens to tomorrow..... Night...Dal (Damn tired of it all) B.

From: Vancouver, WA
E-mail: dalbert_b@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 12/31/02 (And it may change)
Linda C Wednesday, 3/5/03, 7:03 PM

Good evening all, Linda C CG touching base today. From one lurker to another welcome ((Robert)). Found it very easy to sit
back, read posts, take what I need and leave the rest. But there comes a time to come forward, post and hope our share helps
even one other brother or sister fighting this disease. ((Sylvi)) thank you for THE DIFFERENCE, so true. Seems when I start my
morning in prayer...Lay my burdens down...let GOD be in control...there's nothing I can't face..never alone.((Sharon J)) that
guilt about money lost can eat you up. I also think about how my children could of benefited from all of my losses, enough to
send you back to those beasts! So for me that is done, over, can't change it. I will try to move past that even though it is sooo
hard at times. Wishing you all a peacefilled evening...Linda C

From: WI
E-mail: lindacal2001@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 03-01-03


Amber Wednesday, 3/5/03, 7:01 PM

HUGS.....((((Tracey)))

Last Day Gambled: the last day of my old life


Jim A. (gr8_move@yahoo.com) Wednesday, 3/5/03, 6:38 PM

Hello everyone ~~~ Tracy, here are some of the acronyms which you may find here at CG Hub: ES&H- Experience, Strength &
Hope ~~~ HP = Higher Power ~~~ TY = Thank you ~~~ YSIR = Your sister in recovery ~~~ YBIR = Your brother in Rocovery
~~~ ODAAT = One day at a time ~~~ YFIR = Your Friend in Recovery ~~~ NP = No Problem ~~~ RLC = Real Life Crap ~~~
24/7 = 24 Hours, 7 Days a Week ~~~ LDG = Last day gambled ~~~ LMAO = Laugh my a-- off ~~~ LOL = Lots of laughs
~~~ LOL = Lots of Love ~~~ TTYL = Talk to You Later ~~~ Keep the Faith. ~~~ Peace.

From: Davison (City of Flags), Michigan
Last Day Gambled: January 23, 1996
genek Wednesday, 3/5/03, 6:38 PM

YSIR--your sister in recovery


Tom S Wednesday, 3/5/03, 6:31 PM

Ann: How your husband will react"when",not if, he finds out is not yours to control. Rest assured he "will" find out at some
point. In my experience the damage can often be lessened if you "get honest" before you "get caught". Ask your HP for
guidance and courage, then clean house. Get it all out in the open. We are only as sick as our secrets. The chaos, fear, shame
and guilt of our secret gambling is like Miracle Grow for our addiction. Our addiction grows and thrives in that negative
emotional fertilizer. I will pray that you accept the solution contained in step 2 and find the willingness to work the plan of
action found in steps 3 through 9. In love and fellowship. Tom S. mandanwibau@msn.com

From: Minneapolis, MN
Last Day Gambled: 5/3/92


Jake A Wednesday, 3/5/03, 6:28 PM

Hi all Jake A here and yes I'm still a compulsive gambler. The reasoning behind stating that is a reminder for myself of what I
am and of my powerlessness over gambling. Many as of late don't mention that in their posts. My feelings are that I need that
little reminder. For when I forget where I came from I can never go on. I must use all the tools that I can and then some to
keep myself on the road to recovery. I would like to take a moment and invite the posters from the Chicagoland area to one of
my sponsees (Jim D) pinning on 3-18. This will be at the Romeoville meeting,Time 7pm. Well all have a safe and gamble free
24...........Jake A...........

From: R-Ville USA(burbs of Chicago)
Last Day Gambled: 3-11-99


Tracy Wednesday, 3/5/03, 6:28 PM

Hiya Hubsters <smile> I could not find my earlier post but in case you missed it, it was just thanks to all of you who wrote and
kept me sane the last few days. But before I go completely nuts, WHAT IS YSIR??? I see it all the time? I have been trying to
figure it out. Someone please tell me "Hey dumbass it means__________________!!!! THANKS AGAIN TO EVERYONE. Just not
gambling no mo........

From: st lou
Last Day Gambled: 3/4/03


Night HUGS for the HUB family and CG's across the world Wednesday, 3/5/03, 6:18 PM

(((((AletaE, Amber, Andy-sydney, AnitaA,, Ann, Anna, AnnaC, Arnie W, Audrey, Barb, Barbara-Rella, BeckyB, BevR, Brandy,
Brenda , Brenda A, Brenda R, Brett, Cali, Cole, Colleen, Carole, CarolynK, Charlie K, CharlieP, Cindy D, Cindy H, CindyW,
Collette, Curtis L, Dal B, Damaris, Dan, Dave, Dboy,DC, Dean, Deb B, Deb D, Deb G, Del, Delores, Denise, DennisP, Dina, Don
C, DonnaC, Dr. Jim, Dodger, Dorothe, Doug L,Emjay,FEO, Fiddler,GaryK, GeneK, Gordon D. Gramers, Howie C, Jake A,Janie J,
Jaybird, JayL, Jennifer, Jeannie, Jim A, Jim K, Joeanne, John H, John M, JoniB,Josie, Jude, Karen, Kat, Katielyn, Kathy, Kathy S,
Ken, Ken F, Kinnon, Lanie, LdyQP, Lenett, Lily , Linda C, Liz, Lloyd, Lu S, Madge, Maggie, Marc, Marie, Mark, Mark M, Marty,
Mary, Mary J, Marym downunder, MattW, Max H, , Melissa- sasha, Michelle, Miranda, Nance, Nancy M, Nita, Okiemaw, Pat L,
Patty, Paula, Pete,Purdell, Rachel, Ramona, RandyM, Ray H, ReneeB, ReneeC, Rich_DET, Richr, Robert, Robin H, Rose, Sal,
Sandy, SandyK, Scott, R, Skogie1999, SharonJ, Sheila L, Sheryl, S Jane, Sorry, Suzanne, Sue, SusanP, Steve, Steven, SylviB,
Tara, Tino (sidepocketkid), Tna-Tina, Todd, Tom P, TomS, Tracy, Valorie, Vel M, VickiB, Vida, Wayne, Williamk, Wilma,
Ymg/Ymg, Zanna and EVERYONE))))) <155>

Last Day Gambled: ONE DAY AT A TIME


Delores Wednesday, 3/5/03, 6:13 PM

Good Evening! It's been an up and down day...but a good day. Work is okay....some people problems this week, which is rare
in my group, but it should end soon...the troublemakers always wear themselves out, when the rest of us choose to ignore
them....After work I went out dinner with my Mom, and then my daughter asked me over to see her family for a while and did
that....then a wonderful talk with my ((WONDERFUL SPONSOR))....Tomorrow night I'm going to a F2F meeting....that was my
goal this week, and it's close to home..... I'm feeling overwhelmed, I need time to myself, I feel like everyone is demanding my
time and there's little left for me....I get like this some times, I'm hoping this weekend to have a day to relax and do whatever I
please..... Thank you to (((EVERYONE))) who wrote yesterday about my question of forgiving yourself. I think it was exactly
what I needed. I think I can start working on putting it behind me....I did it, I can't change it, and it's time to put it in it's
proper place and use it for learning about who I now want to be. Have a peaceful evening and sleep, YSIR Delores
From: Twin Cities, MN
E-mail: mntoots@msn.com
Last Day Gambled: 1/1/03


sasha Wednesday, 3/5/03, 5:56 PM

(((Ann))) way to go, leaving that store. You hang in there. THere are many here that have gone through what you are
experiecning tday...I am praying for you and your family. YSIR Melissa

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


Wednesday, 3/5/03, 5:04 PM

"There are no strangers here; only friends we haven't met yet." Henry David Thoreau


marc Wednesday, 3/5/03, 4:50 PM

sylvi b, i get those inspiration poems and quotes from a calender on my desk,not on net, wished i could be of more help to ya!
marc

From: ar
Last Day Gambled: 10-01-02


Lloyd T. Wednesday, 3/5/03, 4:13 PM

Hello hubbers. Good to get here today and do something for myself. Been out of touch for while but who the heck cares. I'm
done making excuses. :) Let me get right to whats on my mind today. I've decided to work my program today and not do what
I usually do: To tune-out, numb-out, or to avoid the hard work. I'm going to WRITE down a couple things in my journal and not
just let the thoughts float in my head. I'm really good at 'thinking' my way through my recovery (abstinence). I can talk the
talk with most anyone. But is that actually doing something about it? Hmmmm. My thoughts are there all day every day in my
head. And I frequently do have some good positive thoughts about recovery! But what to do with it? The obvious choice is to
write it out. But that has always been a scary proposition to me. Why? because those words (my feelings and truths about
myself), when written out, are there in black and white staring me in the face. To me they are much safer in my head. I'm able
to twist and manipulate them much easier in my head. When my thoughts are on paper (especially with a pen!) they are not as
easily changable. I'm trying to get out of the habit keeping it all inside of me and coming out into the light. I ask of my HP to
grant me the courage to do it. To write a line or two about myself with honesty. And not to keep it all in my head or to do what
i normally do, "I'll do that later." Thanks hubbers for listening. I'm gonna go do it. LloydT Kzoo, MI

From: kalamazoo, MI
Last Day Gambled: 12.04.01 (and not today!)


ANN Wednesday, 3/5/03, 3:58 PM

I FORGOT TO MENTION I WENT TO THE GROCERY STORE THIS MORNING BY MYSELF AND CAME STRAIGHT HOME FOR ME
THAT IS GOOD PROUD OF MYSELF

From: N.C
E-mail: DAHALIA3@AOL.COM
Last Day Gambled: FEB.24-03


ANN Wednesday, 3/5/03, 3:55 PM

WELL IT IS 9 DAYS NOW IVE BEEN DOING BETTER WITH THE URGES BUT I KNOW ITS NOT OVER THEY CAN POP BACK UP AT
ANYTIME. I AM SO BAD TO PROCRASTINATE IF I SPELLED THAT RIGHT.I AM 2 MONTHS BEHIND ON CREDIT CARD AND LOAN
PAYMENTS THE PHONE RINGS OFF THE HOOK AND ITS LIKE I AM AFRAID TO ANSWER I HAVE GOT TO GO SEE MY
PHYCOLIGIST TOMORROW AM SEEING HER FOR PAIN MANAGEMENT MY OTHER DR. FINALLY GOT ME TO GO BUT SHE DOESNT
KNOW I HAVE THE OTHER PROBLEM CGADDICTION I DONT KNOW WHAT SHE WOULD THINK OF ME TERRIBLE IM SURE.WITH
ALL THESE BILLS PILING UP I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING NOT GAMBLING BUT AFTER 9 DAYS NOT GAMBLING STILL HAVENT
GOT THE FUNDS TOGETHER TO GET CAUGHT UP GOTTA ANSWER THAT PHONE. AND MY HUSBAND DOESNT KNOW ANYTHING
I KNOW HE THINKS WE HAVE MONEY BUT WE DONT AND HE THINKS OUR CREDIT IS GOOD BUT ITS NOT I HURT AND I ACHE
SO BAD WITH ALL MY GUILT I KNOW ITS ALL READY BEEN DONE I CANT GO BACK AND FIX IT I HAVE TO FIX ME BUT I
WORRY WHEN MY HUSBAND FINDS OUT WILL HE LEAVE ME? WILL HE KICK ME OUT?OR DOES 24 YEARS OF MARRIAGE IN
APRIL WORTH WORKING OUT TO HIM IT SURE WOULD BE TO ME NO MATTER WHAT HE HAS DONE OVER THE YEARS TO ME I
AM STILL HERE AND LOVE HIM BUT I DONT THINK HE WOULD FEEL THE SAME HAS ANYONE GOT ANY ADVICE FOR ME THANK
YOU THESE MGTS AND YOU PEOPLE I HAVE MET ARE WONDERFUL THANK YOU GA FRIENDS

From: N.C
E-mail: DAHALIA3@AOL.COM
Last Day Gambled: FEB.24-03


Wednesday, 3/5/03, 3:53 PM

((((SASHAS LIST))))in the chattroom abit..if anyone would like to share..ysir, Love JoniB


Janie J Wednesday, 3/5/03, 3:25 PM

Good afternoon or it almost evening in Chicagoland..the big snow storm that was suppose to hit us last evening poop out not
enought to get me excited accept when I had to remove the white stuff from my car a 6:30am..so I could get to my job..my
job the most important part of my recovery..it gives me a challenge everytime I walk through the door, it has given me money
to live on and health insurance to care for my family. I wouldn't have this job if it wasn't for GA. Before GA I worked as a
manger at my friends store for 6 yrs..6 hard yrs of letting the gambling addiction live inside and outside of me everyday. This
person was suppose to be my friend but as I relaized over the years in this program we served each other in alot of ways.I ran
her store and got paid under the table..when I came into the program and asked for a TRUE salary she said she couldn't afford
me? That is the day that I realized how stupid I have been and how used I had been but to her defense it suited me at the
time. Now after almost 6 yrs in this program I haven't spoken to my so called friend..she's still gambling and I'm not she didn't
like the way I changed to bad so sad I say..the reason I am talking about this tonight is I read in the paper today of the passing
of one of the customers at this location..someone who stood by me when I made the decision to leave and go to work at my
current job. This lady Carol became one of the people out of the rooms that I confided into about my addiction and for the past
6 yrs we kept in touch by e-mail and phone..this lady was a lady and a person who let me struggle with myself until I could see
the light and realize my only hope was myself. To Carol I tip my heart to you for being a true friend during my early years in
GA. You never know who is going to guide you but don't ever not listen to them with a close mind. I am so glad to have had her
as my friend and as a true believer in the GA program..because she was a member of AA our sister group which this program
stems from in its beliefs. I called her husband today to pay my respects and he told me it was going to be family only at the
church and cementery. I thanked him for all the times that I was at their home just have a meal and talk. Carol leaves a loving
family who believed in her and her addiction. I salute her family for always letting her share hersel with other addictive
personalities who walked into their home. I never was turned away and I never had to say I am sorry for being there..the
reason I am talking about this is that we as a addicitve people need to reach out to others as much as we need to taken care of
during the bad moments. Family is so important in my recovery. If my family hadn't stood behind me I don't think I would be
here today This is a silent addiction..but the minute we come into the rooms the silence is broken and our lives become to be
honest and real. I am truly a grateful recovering compulsive gambler and will be to the day the lay me to rest. Now go give
your special someone a kiss and a cuddle..good night and have a great day tomorrow..with love and hugs always, Janie J.

From: Woodridge,IL
E-mail: Jwj728@aol.com
Last Day Gambled: 4/29/97


marym Wednesday, 3/5/03, 3:23 PM

Good gamble free day dear family, Mary here CG, but by the grace of an awesome God I am so much more than that
today******************Something good to come out of my episode losing the portable phone at work. When I realised the
phone was gone I ran through my mind excuses (lies) that I could tell my manager to cover my butt. In the end I told the truth
and that is growth. I do not like lying today, even if it is a little white lie. I told so many lies when I was gambling to get out of
bad situations that at times I would believe the lies I told. I lost my purse so many times. I did not get paid, I lent someone
money. I even did a big trolley load of shopping once, my husband was with me, and when I got to the check out I made
believe my purse had been stolen. I was so convincing searching through my bag, the truth was I had thrown my purse into a
trash can on my way to the shopping centre, empty of course because I had called into the casino on my way home from work
and lost my wage. So many lies, most of them I could not remember and I would eventually trip myself up. It is so good to
have a clear conscience today, I don't have to make up any way out story to cover my butt. My rent is paid, my bills are paid
and there is food in my fridge, and I have peace and serenity knowing I have done the next right
thing........smiles************CONGRATULATIONS!!! to all those celebrating another milestone YAHOOOOOOO clap clap clap.
CONGRATULATIONS to Scott (Sylvi B's son) on graduating from rehab. I hope you remember to take the programme with
you.......smiles. (((BARB))) Old behaviour, doona therapy. Get up and get on with your day dear sister. Don't let a little scrap
with your hubby spoil the whole day. It is up to you......smiles. (((COLLETTE))) Way to go. Welcome (((ROBERT))) great post.
(((S>JANE))) keep on keeping on. Thankyou (((MARC & SYLVI B>))) for your poems of inspiration, my recovery has been much
like that. Every day is an adventure for me, every day can be as good or as bad as I want it to be. (((LINDA C))) Your sister
Darlene is in my prayers. (((WILMA))) Your recovery slip is showing, good to see you using the tools dear sister. Off to bed for
a couple of hours, sending much love to YOU and great big bear (((HUGS))) YSIR Down Under, Mary.

From: Sydney Australia
E-mail: lollylady@operamail.com
Last Day Gambled: 20th July 1999


sasha Wednesday, 3/5/03, 3:03 PM

((Joanne)) High five. way to go...getting me motivated to get my butt out there selling! ysir melissa

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


Wednesday, 3/5/03, 2:56 PM

As Val says "Recovery ROCKS" ((Barb)) so good to read your POST!! Just got back from H&R Block with better news than I
expected!! My payment back to my friend will be greater than expected. Gotta let him KNOW today!! The sun is shining and
people are busy with their lifes...I here laughter in the air and feel lots of excitement. I am excited because if I were to have
gotten the refund I am due, last year, I would have been making plans to go gambling, but today I feel free with a sense of
peace in my soul. I send this feeling out to all that have challenges today in hopes to bring some peace in your heart..I walked
your path and still walk that path with you. JUST gotta love this fellowship. I keep everyone close in my thoughts each day..so
many of you have helped me in my recovery and I thank you everyday. I am looking forward to seeing the people at the GA
meeting tonight. Just want share with them how wonderful recovery has been for me this time around. AND for once, I have
faced what I had denied for so long. I am a compulsive gambler, but I am a recovering CG. I am a compulsive spender, but I
am a recovering CS. Howie and Charlies recent posts puts it so into perspective...Carole and Amber....it shows how rewarding it
is to BE ALIVE and loving each second of life. I too look in the faces of children and smile at their pure innocents....I use to look
at them and WISH I WERE them because I wanted to run from my problems...but today I embrace my troubles..and this has
allowed me to embrace the simple beauty of life. ((Carole))- I remember when my freind shared the poem with me. I was 21
years old. My dad was healthy, mom was great and I was in college. I was living a happy life, oblivious of what the future held.
When dad became ill 10 years later... I ended my six year relationship to help my family and I was at wits end...and one day
the memory of this poem popped into my head. It gave me so much comfort and I really needed to feel at ease....because I
needed to be present for my dad and mom.....even though I am an agnostic, I believe there is a higher power out there...may
be several..and I explain to people that I do pray and will say "GOD BLESS YOU" because so many can relate...I laugh because
if I were to say "HIGER POWERED BLESSED YOU" just sounds off!!!!!LOLOL Many of my close friends always say, GOD BLESS
YOU to me and I love that, because I KNOW it is out of love...and thank you Carole!! God Bless you too sister. Strength peace
and love to all Melissa
marym Wednesday, 3/5/03, 2:50 PM

DITTO CAROLE AND CHARLIE K........LIFE SURE IS GRAND IN G.A. LAND....... HUGE SMILES

From: Australia
E-mail: lollylady@operamail.com
Last Day Gambled: 20th July 1999


Amber Wednesday, 3/5/03, 2:42 PM

Hugs ((all))........just got home from a busy day at work. It feels good right now just to sit and do nothing! Not too long ago, I
couldn't wait to finish work so that I could gamble. Imagine that, I actually look forward to finishing my work day so that I can
do NOTHING!........smiles!......Congrats to everyone reaching milestones today! Give yourself a huge
WAAAAAHOOOOOOO!.........ysir Amber

Last Day Gambled: the last day of my old life


carole Wednesday, 3/5/03, 2:41 PM

(((SASHA))))when I first came to know my real true savior, I fell in love with the poem Footprints, I was given by friends, cups,
t-shirts, even a christmas ornament, kind of over kill if you know what I mean, but after re-reading today by your labor of love,
it has the same meaning it did the FIRST time I read, God Bless you, and everyone else, have a lovely evening, Carole


Charlie K. Wednesday, 3/5/03, 2:28 PM

Hi sisters and brothers in recovery. I'm Charlie K., a compulsive gambler. Congrats to milestoners today!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Thanx for your strong words of encouragement and continued HOPE, Howie C.. I remember thinking as I
started down this marvelous journey - If only ........ and If only......!! Well what I have found out is that I had no idea how
wonderful recovery could truly be. I just wanted to know how to stop gambling, and yet today I not only have not gambled but
I've gotten my whole life back - the love of my wife, Ann, the love and respect of my son Marty!!! I am so grateful for the
numerous gifts this fellowship of GA offered me. Even the simple gifts today ( a child playing in the street and giggling, the
beauty of nature, inner peace and serenity!!) were not even part of my concept of life just a few years back. Thanx to GA and
my Higher Power!! Love and (((((HUGS))))), Charlie K. [hipookies@yahoo.com]

From: Ajijic, Mexico
Last Day Gambled: March 31, 1997


Barb Wednesday, 3/5/03, 1:31 PM

Hi again, Just wanted to let everyone know that I am better. It did pass as I knew it would. Will be leaving for church in Mom's
car. She is letting me use it. Just had to have a little patience and my HP came thru.Went to my first weigh in at weight
watchers and lost 2lbs, got myself a gold star. Things sure get easier when we just let go and let God he comes thru all the
time. Why do we doubt? Human I guess. Have a good rest of the day. YSIR Barb

Last Day Gambled: 12/16/02


Joanne Wednesday, 3/5/03, 12:33 PM

Today is a great day. So far this month I have made quite a bit of sells which will help me. I have not had a real urge to gamble
for awhile thank God. Once again I believe the reason I am feeling so much better is because I am truly working this program
not on my own but with God their helping me.

From: CA
Last Day Gambled: 7/30/02


Sasha Wednesday, 3/5/03, 12:13 PM

Hello AGAIN..((Sylvi, Marc)) thank you so much for the Dont look back. Really read that posting. ((Vicki B)), I am with you
sister..((Howie)) I smile at you and guess WHAT...I thought about those people I met in my F2F GA meeting a while back....and
I miss them. SO, because of EVERYONE HERE, I will be going back to see them tonight. Dont know how many I knew are still
there, but it starts at 7.30pm tonight. You know, this is the first time I have felt not panic about going. TO BE HONEST with you
all, I never thought I would consider going back to a f2f...I can only thank you all for your inspiration..who knows if I will
continue, but for today, I made that decision and I feel like crying. I DONT KNOW WHY!!! crazy eh? I thank Delores for the
pictures she sent...looking at those happy faces reminded me of the man that chaired the meeting I had gone too. I think he
was 25+ years gamble free. He had grey hair, BIG smile and a twinkle in his eye when he looked at you. Like a grandfather,
arms always open. And there was a woman who reminded me of Sylvi...glowing happy face, grandmother who loved talking
about her grandkids..and last, there was another women at the meeting that had an ill spouse...who shared her pain and why
she went back to gambling, but was trying so hard to stick with it. ALL those times I went and heard their sharing, reminds me
of this family HERE. OOPS THE TIME...I have to go to H&R BLOCK..gotta get ready...will be back....THANK YOU EVERYONE..love
ysir Melissa

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


Howie C. Wednesday, 3/5/03, 11:42 AM

Hi Everyone, At the meeting I went to last night, I mentioned that I have had a most unbelievable last 4 days or so. That we
have a progressive disease, which continues to get worse as we gamble, but it continues to get better and better as we stay
away from gambling. Anyway, I mentioned that as good as I feel right now, I know that in the future, it's going to get even
better, which I know from past experiences, but certainly cannot fathom.---------- I am feeling the best I can ever remember,
and yet from my past experience in the program I KNOW that it's going to get even better. As much as I know this, it's still
hard to believe. I am as high, or maybe even higher than I have ever been in the program, and just wanted to share that with
you. If all of you can just stick this thing out, fight that disease when it tries to "get you", I can promise you that you'll have a
life that (at this time) there is no way you can possibly imagine. Sincerely, your brother through fellowship,----- Howie C.

From: Los Lunas, New Mexico
Web Site: HCBWT
E-mail: HCBWT@AOL.COM
Last Day Gambled: 7/11/71


Sasha Wednesday, 3/5/03, 11:25 AM

To (((Susan P)) Today, I was thinking of you....you may laugh at me, but I remembered your story from last month, but for the
life of me could not remember the name...so many new and old to remember. So I frantically went to the archives to search
out the posts that you wrote...and there you were...SUSAN P. I re read the post you wrote recently and I am so happy that
great things are happening for you today. I just wanted you to know that I do keep you close in my thoughts. Thats all. YSIR
Melissa
Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


Vicki B Wednesday, 3/5/03, 11:03 AM

Welcome to CG Hub. "To your left you'll find links to the posting board and to posting archives. You will also find links to other
chat rooms, etc. Everybody is welcome to post, but there are a few ground rules. Messages that contain advertisements,
***personal attacks, character assasinations, foul language, or user- input HTML code will be deleted." Dear CGHub
committee...Do annonymous comments to individual members that "smell" as a personal attack constitute deletion??? I, for
one, think if someone has an issue with an individual member, they should openly and honestly dirrect their comments
personally one on one to that person, rather than use this formate to take the "inventory" of another. Sorry for reacting to this.
But, it seems like someone needs to look at theirself rather than judge another here. Thank-you for letting me vent! I am just
another compulsive gambler who cares about my brothers and sisters here.


Sasha Wednesday, 3/5/03, 10:32 AM

Oops, the earlier post made this poem hard to read---
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Foot Prints in the Sand
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ One night I had a dream -- I dreamed I
was walking along the beach with the Lord, and across the sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene I noticed two sets of
footprints in the sand; One belonged to me, and the other to the Lord.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When the last scene of my life flashed
before us, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that many times along the path of my life, There was only one
set of footprints. I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in my life. This really bothered me, and I
questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, You would walk with me all the way; But I have
noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, There is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why in times
when I needed you the most, you should leave me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Lord replied, "My precious, precious
child. I love you, and I would never, never leave you during your times of trial and suffering. When you saw only one set of
footprints, It was then that I carried you."

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03
Sasha Wednesday, 3/5/03, 10:27 AM

Hello HUB Family: I am a RCG who has chosen the road to salvation. Today is a gamble free day. The weather in Sacramento is
BEAUTIFUL..I send rays and sunshine to those in the snowy regions. Read the posts today...Saw we have RCG who have been
lurking but posted today. WHAT A GRAND DAY. Thank you for your posts. Read about those having challenges with
spouses...my heart goes out to you. Read about those who are having challenges, my heart goes out to you. I dedicate the
following poem to you in hopes it will ease your pain: regardless of one's belief, this has brought ease to many I know,
including myself, and I hope it will do the same for you...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~Foot Prints in the Sand One night I had
a dream ----------------------------- I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord,----------------------------------------
-------- and across the sky flashed scenes from my life.------ For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand;--------
------------------------------------ One belonged to me, and the other to the Lord (HP)--- When the last scene of my life flashed
before us,---- I looked back at the footprints in the sand.--------- I noticed that many times along the path of my life,- There
was only one set of footprints.---------------- I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest--- and saddest times in my life.-
----------------------- This really bothered me, and I questioned the Lord (HP) about it.--------------------------------------- "Lord,
you said that once I decided to follow you,--- You would walk with me all the way;------------------ But I have noticed that
during the most troublesome times in my life,------------------------------------ There is only one set of footprints.----------------
- I don't understand why in times when I needed you the most, you should leave me.----------------------- The Lord replied, "My
precious, precious child.------ I love you, and I would never, never leave you during your times of trial and suffering.------------
When you saw only one set of footprints,------------- It was then that I carried you."

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


Anon Wednesday, 3/5/03, 10:16 AM

Why do we have to keep hearing about the male and his female sponcees?


EmJay Wednesday, 3/5/03, 9:45 AM

GOOD MORNING ALL.....What a great day......Have been reading the posts and soaking up all the love and friendship that is
such a part of this hub((((((HUG Sashas List and anyone else that may need a hug for today))))) My counsilor gives me a hug
after each session and that really feels good..(SJANE)I am hooked on recovery too and the thought that I am worth the much
more than I ever thought possible puts me there....My husband has told me many times over the last year to just leave and
make it easier on both of us...but I am still here and slowly I feel his trust and respect coming back...I know he is still got his
gaurd up and watching me close but the ugly remarks are disapearing and that is an accomplishment for us..(Sylvia_) it is a
great reminder of "ASK THAT YOU MAY RECEIVE" cause if we don't ask how can he know...and even to God the only stupid
question is the one not asked! Well gotta get reeady for work so everyone please have a wonderful gamblefree day,,,you all in
the snow snuggle up and stay warm and send some of it out here pleeeaase we need the moisture..... YSIR EmJay

From: SApello,NM
E-mail: mbarela@desertgate.com
Last Day Gambled: 1/26/03


Daily Hugs and Prayers for the HUB family and CGS across the World Wednesday, 3/5/03, 9:28 AM

(((((AletaE, Amber, Andy-sydney, AnitaA,, Ann, Anna, AnnaC, Arnie W, Audrey, Barb, Barbara-Rella, BeckyB, BevR, Brandy,
Brenda , Brenda A, Brenda R, Brett, Cali, Cole, Colleen, Carole, CarolynK, Charlie K, CharlieP, Cindy D, Cindy H, CindyW,
Collette, Curtis L, Dal B, Damaris, Dan, Dave, Dboy,DC, Dean, Deb B, Deb D, Deb G, , Delores, Denise, DennisP, Dina, Don C,
DonnaC, Dr. Jim, Dodger, Dorothe, Emjay, GaryK, GeneK, Gordon D. Gramers, Howie C, Jake A,Janie J, Jaybird, JayL, Jennifer,
Jeannie, Jim A, Jim K, Joeanne, John H, John M, JoniB, Jude, Kat, Katielyn, Kathy, Kathy S, Kinnon, Lanie, LdyQP, Lenett, Lily ,
Linda C, Liz, Lloyd, Lu S, Madge, Marc, Marie, Mark, Mark M, Marty, Mary, Mary J, Marym downunder, MattW, Max H, , Melissa-
sasha, Michelle, Miranda, Nancy M, Okiemaw, Pat L, Patty, Paula, Pete, Rachel, Ramona, RandyM, Ray H, ReneeB, ReneeC,
Rich_DET, Richr, Robert, Rose, Sal, Sandy, SandyK, Scott, R, Skogie1999, SharonJ, Sheila L, S Jane, Sorry, Suzanne, Sue,
SusanP, Steve, Steven, SylviB, Tara, Tino (sidepocketkid), Tna-Tina, Todd, Tom P, TomS, Tracy, Valorie, Vel M, VickiB, Wayne,
Williamk, Wilma, Ymg/Ymg and EVERYONE)))))<139>

Last Day Gambled: ONE DAY AT A TIME


sylvi b Wednesday, 3/5/03, 9:15 AM

Meagain. Just a brief note to those of you who know my story and prayed or pray for my son. He 'graduates' from rehab this
Friday. I met with his counselor and him yesterday. It was very moving. I am grateful to HP for bringing us to this point, and I
place my trust in His/her wisdom and guidance in the days to come. Thank you for your support. YSIR sylvi b

From: mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02
sylvi b Wednesday, 3/5/03, 9:05 AM

Hi again. Sorry, I was trying to send the poem in its correct form. It can be found by clicking in the title Don't Look Back and
scrolling to the site, of Fortune city. Good luck . It's beautiful there and so much easier to read. S. Jane I hope you will contact
someone here at the Hub. congrats on 5 days. Are you going to meetings? Have you found a sponsor? Jeannie , if you read this
please respond. Robert, thanks for stepping out of the shadows. There's a great person to contact in the Albuquerque area:
HowieC. Do you know him? Come to a meeting on the Hub sometime too. Orjust yell and we'll meet to chat. SJane, Jeannie,
Robert you've taken a big step.Now just one eensy teensie one more, and more etc. You get the idea. Smile.

From: mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02


AnnaC Wednesday, 3/5/03, 9:03 AM

OK...this is my 5th time I've tried to post this morning...wow what a busy day. Haven't had a chance to read all of the posts
yet, but always try to start my day on the HUB. A couple of quick thank yous...for the meeting last night ... topic "finances"
great chairing Maryjj and for each and everyone of your posts. I learn so much from each of you and you give me the strength
and courage to recover daily. Congratulations to all those reaching milestones today!! Also, Sue from MA keep it up g/f as
someone once told me "recovery looks good on you:)". ((((Sasha's List))) (((my friend who called me last night)))--thanks for
the strength and hope.

Last Day Gambled: 12/2/02


rich r Wednesday, 3/5/03, 8:55 AM

Hi. I'd like to thank Arnie W. for posting that website. ~~~ I'll be back :-)

From: detroit

sylvi b Wednesday, 3/5/03, 8:55 AM
Don't Look Back As you travel through life there are always those times when decisions just have to be made when the choices
are hard, and solutions seem scarce and the rain seems to soak your parade! There are some situations where all you can do is
to simply let go and move on gather courage together and choose a direction that carries you toward a new dawn. So pack up
your troubles and take a step forward the process of change can be tough but think about all the excitement ahead if you can
be stalwart enough! There could be adventures you never imagined just waiting around the next bend and wishes and dreams
just about to come true in ways you can't yet comprehend! Perhaps you'll find friendships that spring from new interests as you
challenge your status quo and learn there are so many options in life, and so many ways you can grow! Perhaps you'll go
places you never expected and see things that you've never seen or travel to fabulous, faraway worlds and wonderful spots in
between! Perhaps you'll find warmth and affection and caring, a "somebody special" who's there to help you stay centered and
listen with interest to stories and feelings you share. Perhaps you'll find comfort in knowing your friends are supportive of all
that you do and believe that whatever decisions you make, they'll be the right choices for you! So keep putting one foot in front
of the other and taking your life day by day. There's a brighter tomorrow that's just down the road. So don't look back, you're
not going that way! Author Unknown Need help in forwarding this page? Please Click Here for Instructions.

From: mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02


Barb Wednesday, 3/5/03, 8:45 AM

Hi everybody, Barb here still a CG working on a little patience today. Has not started out well at all. Truck is still in the shop the
repair is up to $1100, but that's not what has me ticked off. My plans for the day are screwed up. I couldn't go to mass this
morning and I missed my f2f meeting. Hubby made me mad this morning, just not a good one feel like putting the covers over
my head. I know they say things happen for a reason, but right now that isn't cutting it for me. Maybe I just need a smoke
LOL. This to will pass and I will be OK. I guess I'm just disappointed that my plans were disrupted. Sounds kind of selfish, but
my recovery is selfish. Life on lifes terms today!!!!! We also have about 8 inches of snow outside, so maybe I should be glad
I'm not in it and can just look at it. Not much else going on maybe I will put the covers over my head and take a nap. Thanks
for listening!!!!! Congratulations to all who have milestones today, whatever it my be clean time, birthdays ,anniversaries
whatever have a good day and smile. I am right now! YSIR Barb

From: Chgo Subs
Last Day Gambled: 12/16/02


Collette Wednesday, 3/5/03, 8:42 AM
Happy Wednesday to everyone, half the week is almost over. Had a busy day yesturday, went to my counselor, was good but I
felt like I was just rambling and not getting anywhere. I talked a lot about my husband, figuring out I am too worried about his
happiness that I am not focusing my energy on my happiness. Had my first GA meeting last night. I was scared to death.
Driving to the meeting I thought about gambling probably a million times..the meeting by the way is only about 5 minutes from
my house. I waited for 15 minutes until the first person rolled in. The whole 15 minutes I thought about running out of there
and going gambling. But there was a total of 5 members there including me. It was great, I was so excited to have people, just
like me "really know" what I was talking about. Look forward to many more. 8 days and going strong. Thanks to everyone for
there support!!!

From: South Dakota
E-mail: collettehendry@hotmail.com
Last Day Gambled: 02/24/03


Kathy S. Wednesday, 3/5/03, 8:33 AM

Good Morning Everyone, Kathy S. here a Very Grateful Recovering Compulsive Gambler !........Thanks for all the great post this
morning and everyday.....Also the updates on the KC conference was great reading....... Wishing I could have been there to
enjoy all the sharing and caring, that I know from last year was there, but accepting that it was just not meant to be this time
around......I am OK with that........Living the Gamblers Anonymous Program and the 12 Steps in my life has helped me to get
somewhat of balance in my life and is teaching me to do whatever it takes to take care of Kathy.......The 12 Steps are a guide
for me to continue gaining all the knowledge this program has to offer.............. They are always there for me just for the
asking...............Reality for me today is I can't and won't get to do everything I want to in this life but will get what I need
when I need it..............So I want to thank everyone in this fellowship for helping me to learn all these things..............How to
become an unselfish human being, how to accept the way things are, how to go with the flow so to speak.........wishing
everyone reading this a Great and Wonderful Gamblefree Day!............with Peace and Love in Recovery, Kathy S.
(Blubayou47@aol.com)

From: Slidell,La.(just outside of New Orleans)
Last Day Gambled: Oct. 15, 1996


Robert Wednesday, 3/5/03, 8:32 AM
I have been a lurker on this website for about six months, I read all the posts daily. This hub has been very benificial to me in
very difficult times. I have been trying for almost 28 months to get my wife to forgive me and move forward with me. I have
apologized thousands and thousands of times to no avail. I finally left her and she filed for a divorce. I was fighting the divorce
until I realized the golden rule of GA, I can not change anyone or their opinions of me I can only change me and how I let them
affect me. From this day forward I will not allow her to give me one more moral beat down!!!JoniB I especially love you
heartfelt posts they truly touch my heart, I will try to post daily from now on thank you all and God Bless YBIR Robert

From: Albuquerque
E-mail: bacar87102@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: Nov 7 2000


sylvi b Wednesday, 3/5/03, 8:32 AM

Good morning again fellow rcgs, Thanks for letting me know the poem helped. Marc, I would like to have the title or source of
yours. I can't seem to cut and paste from that page. Please supply the information. Very inspiring. Just what I needed to hear,
kind of like the promises, some already coming true.. Thank you.

From: mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02


Wednesday, 3/5/03, 8:30 AM

Hey Jaybird, did you read todays Reflection for the day?


jaybird Wednesday, 3/5/03, 8:22 AM

morning still enjoying our visit at jenn,s. life is so good now, love you ppl. ybir jaybird

From: still at jennifers house
Last Day Gambled: 1/18/01
BrendaR Wednesday, 3/5/03, 8:14 AM

Hello everyone. I haven't posted in a few days cause I've been very depressed about my life and when I get that way I just
kinda shut everyone out. Life has been better and life has been worse. I don't have an urge to gamble, too depressed to go
have fun! ((Marc)) your poem was so beautiful. Just what I needed today. I'm hanging on by a thread and you gave me the
spool to grab hold of .Thanks for always being there, hubsters.

From: Okla
E-mail: BrndMudd@cs.com
Last Day Gambled: 2-15-03


Wednesday, 3/5/03, 8:09 AM

great typo, worth instead of worse, love that..Carole


Carole Wednesday, 3/5/03, 8:07 AM

ITS A NEW DAY!!! Carole here very aware compulsive gambler and posting to say congratulations to (((ALL)) reaching a
milestone one day, one week, one month..all worth it:) last night was rough, but not gambling wise, just many, many
emotions..8 years this month on the 20th, is the ann.of my husbands severe industrial accident, he lost most of his left hand, 3
fingers left, its a mess, but has healed and he manages to do many,many things..but when I picked up the photos from the
photographer(wcb needed them to put closure to the case, they(workmens comp. have been very good by the way)it all came
back to me, in a sequence, the night it happened, all the surgeries(12 of them) the 2 1/2 years of work..but more the love and
respect I have for that brave man of mine, he is soooooo brave, what I felt was a mixture of emotions. Started to brew while
walking with my best friend who is still an active catholic, talking about lent and things...I don't attend mass anymore, but Sue
good for you and Wilma and Audrey and anyone who is an active church goer, great, for me this is not the way anymore...so
we yakked and yakked about stuff, I remembered the nuns would put sacrifices on paper and in a hat, and we had to pick one.
Whatever I picked, be it not wathcing tv or eating cookies, by george I followed through, I ALWAYS followed through....I always
was the good girl, that is the way I am, and so with the photos yesterday and how much empathy I have for my husband,
came a bit of a pity party for ME..sort of, don't know how to express this, except I felt very sad..BUT BETTER TODAY, DONT
WORRY ABOUT ME .....BACK UP ON MY FEET, JUST SO FABULOUS TO EXPRESS THOSE FEELINGS...and not run to the slot
machine...I would rather tell all of you..so everyone have a great day, and HONEST I am just fine, planning to visit with a
couple gals, and just be so grateful for my husband and that whatever happened, he is still with me:) things can always be
worth, he also has stuck by me through thick and thin, we are both blessed, Carpe Diem, Carole...life is a wonderful journey:)

From: british columbia, canada
E-mail: carols136@rcgsite/org
Last Day Gambled: march 6/2002


Wednesday, 3/5/03, 7:59 AM

JFT-RECOVERY - Email List Today's thought is: "Life is not what you did. It's what you are doing." - Jim Burns- "Today awaits
our attention and involvement. We can sit and merely ponder the possibilities for action, thinking away the entire day. We could
get involved in a volunteer effort; we always said we would when time allowed. We could reorganize the basement, the kitchen,
the garage. Our lives allow for spontaneous pursuits now. Or we can keep our focus small, taking each hour as it comes and
reaching out to at least one other person in every sixty-minute span of time, doing nothing major, simply expressing our
aliveness. Maybe it's a phone call that keeps us connected to the human community. Or perhaps it's writing a long overdue
letter. Offering a hello and a smile to a neighbor or a fellow shopper quite specifically strengthens our connection to the human
community. It's not what we do that's so important. Rather, it's making at least one human contact with another living soul
that will benefit all of our lives today. Being too busy to let others know how much they matter to me isn't a problem any
longer. Every day offers me opportunities to connect with others." [In sharing, Vicki B. 10/11/02. Thank-you to each of you for
sharing your experience, strength and hope here today. Special thanks to Sylvi for sharing "THE DIFFERENCE". I do so
appreciate poetry that touches my heart. Off to make my day one that counts! Hugs.]


S Jane Wednesday, 3/5/03, 7:27 AM

Day 5 and rollin with it! I spend so much time reading about recovery and working it that I might just become addicted to
recovery. Is that a good thing? Things with my husband isn't going very well. He still hasn't talked to me and the D word came
up out of nowhere yesterday. It's a scarey thing to think that I may have destroyed my husbands respect and love totally with
this gambling monster. We do other other issues going on in our marriage and right now it's ME and my gambling that's the
root of it. My priority right now is my emotional health, and working at better ME, so I can inturn make the proper decisions in
my life. Thank you.

Last Day Gambled: Feb 28,03
Patty Wednesday, 3/5/03, 6:40 AM

Good Day all. Here i am rushing T-day...but i still wanted to post something on here..cause i know if i rush and not take it
easy...i won't get a thing done T-day.. I am feeling good this morning and really feel my H.P. is with me...For years i thought
"G" had given up on me...sure how could anyone like me...i was no good...all that kinda thinking was my life...By going to the
meetings and listening to others and how it worked for them.....it took me about two years to find a H.P. .....lol....but T-day I
know that H.P. is always on my shoulder and that I am never alone....that is just the best feeling ever, I was reared in the
Catholic Church and could not understand all these people who went to Mass and came home and beat up the others at
home..To me that was not good...so early in my life i felt different and thus then thought of myself as a bad person cause i
didn't believe in this Church thing...T-day i know its okay to say this no one is going to judge me...thank you all for listening to
me....Patty......

From: Ireland
E-mail: oconnorpatti@hotmail.com


sue Wednesday, 3/5/03, 6:34 AM

Hi Hubsters....Day 11 today and feeling good. Some of those nasty urges are sitting there today though! I gotta hang tough
and not give in. Went to church this morning for ashes at 7:00 a.m. (PHEW! early!!!) But if felt so good. Hoping that my HP
watches closely over me for the next few days as it is my long weekend without my kids and like I said, I'm feeling those urges.
((Marc)) and ((Sylvi)) thanks for the inspirational messages. Boy, those do come in handy when looking for strength. Sasha
((thanks for the daily list)). Sue P. - congrats on the new baby boy and for getting your niece involved in your life again. I do
believe the HP gives us a second chance. Most of all - ((my sponsor)). God give you strength also. Just gotta share - while
sitting in church - we all had a chance to meditate and then write down all sins, feelings, etc. we wanted God to forgive today.
Today is the start of Lent - a new beginning. Then we took the papers and burnt them...praying to god to help us with our new
beginning and to take away all of the old bad stuff. Boy - I could have written a novel...but it was so nice to write down all my
bad "stuff" and feelings, hoping to find strength in the start of a new day. I know it sounds crazy and all - I usually don't get
hung up on the religious stuff, but spiritually, it felt great! Thanks for letting me share today - I am grateful for my friends
here. You give me the power to make it through....hugs, sue

From: massachusetts
E-mail: suemass2000@aol.com
Last Day Gambled: 02/22/03
marc Wednesday, 3/5/03, 6:07 AM

As you travel through life there are always those times When decisions just have to be made, When the choices are hard, and
solutions seem scarce, And the rain seems to soak your parade. There are some situations where all you can do Is simply let go
and move on, Gather your courage and choose a direction That carries you toward a new dawn. So pack up your troubles and
take a step forward - The process of change can be tough, But think about all the excitement ahead If you can be stalwart
enough! There might be adventures you never imagined Just waiting around the next bend, And wishes and dreams just about
to come true In ways you can't yet comprehend! Perhaps you'll find friendships that spring from new things As you challenge
your status quo, And learn there are so many options in life, And so many ways you can grow! Perhaps you'll go places you
never expected And see things that you've never seen, Or travel to fabulous, faraway worlds And wonderful spots in between!
Perhaps you'll find warmth and affection and caring And somebody special who's there To help you stay centered and listen
with interest To stories and feelings you share. Perhaps you'll find comfort in knowing your friends Are supportive of all that you
do, And believe that whatever decisions you make, They'll be the right choices for you. So keep putting one foot in front of the
other, And taking your life day by day... There's a brighter tomorrow that's just down the road - Don't look back! You're not
going that way!


Dal B. Wednesday, 3/5/03, 6:07 AM

Good Morning, I have an appointment with the dentist (Getting dentures) and I was bemoaning the fact, that I'd have to lose
half a day at work. Then I remembered, I had been given "Unrestricted" access to the jobsite. So, I can go in early and work as
much as possible before the appointment and THEN not worry as I'll have 40 hours in. ++++++++++++++++++++++++
This then made me realize, that the same has been done to my life. I have been GIVEN "Unrestricted Access" to my life. I CAN
choose to gamble or not. I CAN choose to either work the program or NOT. I CAN choose and I choose "Serenity" for today and
today only. (((((HUGS))))) Dal (Free Man) B.

From: Vancouver, WA
E-mail: dalbert_b@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 12/31/02


Sharon J Wednesday, 3/5/03, 5:45 AM

Hello All my friends: Love and Hugs going out to all hubbers and to Sashes List. Woke up to 6 inches of Snow on the ground
today. It is March 5, and we have more snow than we had all winter. So, Going to wait a bit for the roads to get plowed before
I go to work. I had a great day with Michelle yesterday, sharing and trying to talk out these CG triggers. Please stay strong my
friend.....You are doing the right thing in moving forward with your life. Sometimes, before things can improve they have to get
worse. You know this only too well. The lessons we have all been learning lately have been difficult. But you have learned what
you needed to learn and you already know that you cannot allow yourself to feel guilty about Mike. Yesterday, I was feeling a
bit anxious nervous and just like something bad was going to happen. It seems I am so unhappy at times and very depressed.
I called and set up my counseling appointments again. Went to see my New counselor yesterday. I'm like why do I have to
RETELL everything for the past 10 years. Can't she read my file!!!!!! Nothing really new transpired from that visit. I'll keep
going for a while though. I just need someone to talk to about all of these issues I have. Mostly, with the fact that I want to
help my Son. Maybe even have him move back home for a while. He only makes 10 dollars an hour and rent is just sky high in
Madison. I was going to have him go live with my Mom in Kansas. Maybe he will still go there in May. But just talking about my
Mother yesterday to my counselor really brought up some hurtful emotional issues. Hell, she didn't want me around and I was
only 15. But now she's older and doesn't have Men in her life. I just don't like the way she talks down to me when I called her
last week. The main objective is for my Son to go there get a job and save his money for a year. Also, he wants to go back to
school and this is the only way he can do it.It is his descision as he is 21 years old. I just feel so bad. I know the money I lost
gambling could have paid for some of his education, helped him out more financially if nothing else, I could have saved my
credit ratings so that we could have gotten the student loans. He is such a good kid and deserved to have a life like normal
people sending their kids to school. However, I did pay for 1 year of tuition at MATC. Gave him my older car, which was worth
about $6,000 at the time. Pay for his car insurance. Bought him furniture for his apartment, and tried to get him a decent start
as a young adult. Since his lease is up at the end of April, I had planned to sell some of the furniture so he doesn't have to put
it in storage. Someone already said the wanted to buy it. I am going to put that money into my son's saving account. That way
when he decides to get an apartment again the money will be there to buy furniture. So despite my being a CG I still did some
good things, just not enough i guess. Okay, poured out my guts to my counselor. Told her about my gambling and other
problems. Anyway, I'll be going back to see her in a few weeks. She wanted to see about prescriptions and I told her no way. I
was on all those so called anti-depressants for 10 years. I also told her my condition worsened and I am not taking any more
drugs. I will not walk around like a zombie and have to be driving around for work all drugged up! I refuse. Well going off to
make day. Bye all. Huggs Sharon

From: Wisconsin
Last Day Gambled: 2-1-03


sylvi b Wednesday, 3/5/03, 5:38 AM

I got up early one morning, And rushed right into the day, I had so much to accomplish, That I didn't have time to pray.
Problems just tumbled about me, And heavier came each task, "Why God doesn't help me" I wondered, He answered "you
didn't ask. I tried to come into God's presence, I used all my keys at the lock, God gently and lovingly chided, "My servant you
didn't knock. I woke up early this morning, And paused before entering the day, I had so much to accomplish, That I had to
take time to pray. THE DIFFERENCE With thanks to Howie C. who continues to spread the wisdom.

From: mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02


Vicki B Wednesday, 3/5/03, 5:05 AM

Good Morning Hub Family. I am a slowly recovering compulsive gambler, grateful for making the resolve to not gamble today.
Gambling has been but a symptom of my inability to accept and live life responsibly and courageously. Gambling had been my
"drug of choice" to numb me out from the cares and concerns of my world. When "in action" I am deceitful, ,manipulative,
irresponsible, self- centered, to name but a few. In working recovery today, I try to treat others the way I want to be treated. I
still have my character defects, but I am more in tune to them and better able to work on eliminating them, one day at a time.
I am not where I want to be in my recovery journey, but I am better than I used to be. Honest, Open and Willing... H O W it
works for me today. GA does work, when I work the steps in all my affairs. Grateful for this gift of recovery today! Wishing all a
marvelous day. Here in the Artic of Michigan we have many schools closed due to a snow storm that came thru last night. I am
posting from work. I am one of a few who have made it in today. It feels good to value my responsibilities to my job and to be
here, as I do live close. Many co-workers travel distances to get here, so it is more difficult today for them to get here timely.
So I will help "man the social services ship" today. I'll be back! Hugs YSIR, Vicki B

From: MI
Last Day Gambled: 10/11/02


JoniB Wednesday, 3/5/03, 4:35 AM

God Morning Precious Friends..a gcg..Grateful for this New DAY..stopping it to ((((HUG SASHAS LIST)))) and All that come
here..New and (((Milestoners)))) be kind to you today K..in All the World theirs only ONE YOU..One Precious You..Enjoy the Gift
of You..k..Hug You..and make this Day a Goodie..k..and I will too:):) tis still winter and cold here..but awwwwwwwwe Springs
on its Way:):) offffffff to make my Day..Grateful and Happy to be part of it:) lovin you..ysir, Joni B...........jonimb@neb.rr.com

From: Nebr.
Last Day Gambled: 7/08/00 Grateful


Rachel Wednesday, 3/5/03, 4:33 AM

Hi there fellow recovering compulsive gamblers. Gee life is great today without the thought of how will I survive & get my next
fix. I never thought I could survive without playing poker machines, but I've been able to show my family and friends and more
importantly myself. Just One Day At A Time, that's all the program asks of us. Good Bless us all.

From: Australia
E-mail: rachel21@tpg.com
Last Day Gambled: 28/7/98


Wednesday, 3/5/03, 4:08 AM

Reflection for the DAY..Before I became clean in Gamblers Anonymous, I blamed all my problems on other people, or on places
and things. Now I'm learning to look squarely at each difficulty,not seeking whom to "Blame," but to discover how my attitude
helped to create my problem or aggravate it. I must also learn to face the consequences of my own actions and words, and to
correct myself when I'm wrong. Do I practice the Tenth Step by continuing to take my personal inventory? When I am wrong,
do I promptly admit it? Today I PRAY..May I know the blessed relief and unburdening that come when I admit I have done
something wrong. May I learn--perhaps for the first time in my entire life--to take responsiblity for my own actions and to face
the consequences. May I learn again how to match actions with consequences. Today I WILL Remember..Today take
responsibility for my own actions. sharing...A Day at a time..GA..The HUB


Wednesday, 3/5/03, 3:59 AM

The HUB would like to Congratulate All those reaching another Milestone Today!! Steve K. 7-5-91 Kevin F. 11-05-99..Jay L. 11-
5-00..Kim S. 2-5-01 Theresa P. 12-5-01,,Donald PH. 12-05-01.. Cindy M. 2-5-02..Ron R. 4-5-02..Connie T 5-5-02 Linda L 7-5-
02..CLAP CLAP CLAP..THANKYOU for YOUR ES & HOPE!! CELEBRATE "TODAY" WAY To go!!!!:):)


Andy Wednesday, 3/5/03, 3:06 AM
I'm seeing a counsellor tomorrow & I'm not much looking forward to that. But I know myself pretty well, if I'm going to get this
monkey off my back (in my case a gorilla, king kong in fact)I'm going to need all the help I can muster. GA meetings, this site,
counselling, the big fella et al. Sydney Wednesday 10.05pm

From: Sydney
E-mail: ajax2002@bigpond.com
Last Day Gambled: 03/03/03


Dave Of Beckenham Wednesday, 3/5/03, 1:00 AM

My name is Dave I am a compulsive Gambler and will be till the day I DIE! Wednesday the birth a new chace. Another chance a
test of my steel by life curves. Tonight is open meeting at Slough. 9 pinnings and recognitions. One is for 15 years which is
tripple Diamond. A diamond represents 5 years. There was talk of taking aways pins. I thought it was a bad decision as I feel a
pin can be an ego trip of which I woul be guilty of, but a pin is thing to be worn with pride. Yes our recovery, our rewards come
from with in. But wearing mine means I am not ashamed of who or what I am it is just a fact. Serenity prayer asks me to
accept what I cannot change. Well I cannot change the fact I am a compulsive Gambler. No way hozay. There is 53 years of
recovery being celebrated tonight. I want to be there to share that strength. To be amongst the winners. To feel that wealth.
Today there is no where for me to hide. Sort out myself my rubbish. San Diego sure sounds sweet now? I know I will not be
rushing down there I will treasure each step of my journey. Like life value what it holds for me each day. I am not happy with
my weight now and have made decision to start being more rspectful towards my physical apperance. In my life I need
balance. 8 hours of fullfilling my needs, 8 hours of sharing quality time, well the 8 hours of sleep is well out but I am trying.
There was a time I doubted being able to achieve the simplest thing. I failed at every thing. I verbally self abused myself like a
madman most of the time. At one meeting I found myself laughing at myself and my actions, you know it helped me! I now
know that when you are able to laugh at your self and the honesty you are getting better, it means you are starting to forgive
yourelf. THat line accept critism gracefully, yes right I am not quite there yet, like a continent away? No maybe on other planet
is nearer to it. LOL. There was time I was happy with sitting on pitty pot all day. I had no control no choices, I Use to blame the
world for how I felt. I did a prison visit. Found myself remembering the time I was in prison and I cried like a baby. The hurt
abondoned child maybe? Well it became very clear the fact I had no control in my life, again I blamed every one and every
thing for the way I felt and what was happening in my life. Well gave this in depth therapy about control, about choices. You
know it helped me see myself. Do not know if it helped any of the prisoners. But what I saw was myself and the way I use to
look. Life is like driving a car we can be in control and choose what road to take. Where we end up. In addiction that choice is
taken from us. Once we self abuse ourselves it affects our way of thinking and feeling. It traumatises us. There is opinion it is
genetic addictions do not believe that therory at all. But then again who am I ? Well today I am going to try and not be an ass
hole, I am going to take the day off. I am going to try and be the best person I can be today and keep my life filled with
emotionally healthy ambitious positive motivated thoughts and feelings. I am going to like myself. I am going to feel good
about what I do and how I do it. Love to you all. Dave

From: Uk For Now!
E-mail: gadaveuk@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 1992 August
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Hub Posts Thursday 3/6/03
chatcat Thursday, 3/6/03, 9:40 PM

Hi my name is Helen and I completed step 1 of the 12 step program today, difficult as it was, I did it

E-mail: hcsarah4me@yahoo.ca
Last Day Gambled: 03-04-03


Thursday, 3/6/03, 9:02 PM

(((Carole)))that was beautiful!! ThankYou precious friend:) awwwwwwe..yep...going to snuggle now ..peaceful.for sure:).love
to ALL..((Hug)) YOU for me..k..nite:)thankYou ALL for "BEING":):) ysir,Joni B


Thursday, 3/6/03, 8:22 PM

That prayer was from me Carole, guess I am sick of my own name:)


Thursday, 3/6/03, 8:21 PM

Good Night my angel friends, my cup runneth over, this has been a very humbling day..each night after doing my daily
inventory, I pray..thanksgiving is the ultimate prayer..join me, this evening, my candle is lit..Lord, I thank you for the love you
show me each day, I thank you for the unconditional love here at the Hub, I ask you to please bless each soul here, the one
suffering, the one in pain, the one making progress, their families, and dear Lord, may each and every person reaching out
have their needs met, and may each person who is reaching out get to feel the overwhelming love I have experienced this
day..an awesome day. AMEN:) see you in the morning, and God Bless:)


Amber Thursday, 3/6/03, 8:15 PM

Hugs ((all)).........Welcome (((Chatcat))), I'm so glad you found your way back here again today! There is something wonderful
going on around here and the good news is that it's CONTAGIOUS!!! Have a great night everyone......ysir Amber

Last Day Gambled: the last day of my old life


Amber Thursday, 3/6/03, 8:07 PM

(((((((((((((((JENNIFER))))))))))))))))

Last Day Gambled: the last day of my old life


ROCKING RECOVERY scrap-book Thursday, 3/6/03, 7:38 PM

Just click on the link below, you can either 'browse' or post your thoughts and 'E,S,&H' into a "ROCKING RECOVERY! scrap-
book! ~~~ Thank you. ~~~~ Have a safe '24'. ~~~~ Peace.

From: (Jim A.)
Web Site: ROCKING RECOVERY ! scrap-book
Last Day Gambled: January 23, 1996


Kathy K Thursday, 3/6/03, 7:31 PM

"I believe that friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."

From: New Jersey
E-mail: kathyk2327@aol.com
Delores Thursday, 3/6/03, 7:15 PM

Good Evening! I went to 2 F2F meetings tonight! Actually I decided to go to a place that I use to go to for AA Meetings....went
there first (it was down the street from the GA Meeting), then went to a GA Meeting....It was a speaker night, there were about
30 people there. I had a good time at both meetings! I think this Saturday (((TOM S))) I may be at your morning meeting! I
may need directions again! I sure enjoyed seeing and talking with the people. I know this is something I need to do every
week. It felt wonderful. (((JENNIFER))), take care of yourself! I'm glad your husband got your roadblocks in place for you! Isn't
Gamblock wonderful! I'm so glad I was able to meet you, and can't wait till you come up here to Minnesota in October!! HUGE
HUGS! I have to go to bed now, work tomorrow! I just feel so good, I wish I could capture this feeling, and just hold on to it.
YSIR Delores

From: Twin Cities, MN
E-mail: mntoots@msn.com
Last Day Gambled: 1/1/03


Kathy K Thursday, 3/6/03, 7:12 PM

OH MY GOSH, What wonderful milestones have been reached today!!! Wow, I have been involved in a project for the last
couple of days and now I have a lot of catching up to do. (((Carole))) What can I say dear friend except that "I love you." And,
I echo Val's sentiments, you have always been there for me and I will be your friend for eternity. Congratulations! (((Kathy S,
Linda))) Way to go. I am sending you both oodles of hugs. Congratulations! (((Sasha))) Miss ya, I so look forward to our chats.
Maybe we can do another one over the weekend....watcha cooking?, lol (((Gene))) I am thinking of you girlfriend. We got
another 6 inches of the nasty white stuff today! (((Joni))) We need to catch up, I want to hear all about Kansas! I loved looking
at the pictures, you all looked sooooo happy and content. I want some of that.************* Most people walk in and out of
your life, but only FRIENDS leave footprints in your heart. Love you all, Kathy K

From: New Jersey
E-mail: kathyk2327@aol.com


AnnaC Thursday, 3/6/03, 7:02 PM
Hi everyone. Well tonight I had one of those ugly urges. Very tired today. Spent many hours working on a web design project
only to learn that our national office lost ALL of my work and I need to start over. So many deadlines so little time but I am so
grateful I don't have that normal panic I have had in the past. Just very tired. Took daughter to swim lessons tonight and found
out I forgot one of her friends birthdays so after swim I headed to the store for a bday gift. That was a very hard drive...those
gosh darn voices kept coming in...ok your on your own you haven't had a break in a long time you deserve to gamble at your
favorite spots...just a little...then at the store I went too..checked out those gamblers and thought...hum just a little but
12/2/02 kept coming back...I thought it is such a nice date love those 2's :) kept the mind games up until I got home and
couldn't wait to log on to the HUB. Checked out the CHAt room but noone was online. Wanted to say hello to some friends but
not tonight. Think I just need to cuddle into my bed and go to sleep. Tomorrow is a new day. I will need to figure out how I can
get some work in this weekend but it will work out. Feeling guilty about working so much and working on my recovery and
letting my 4 year old watch sooo much cartoons. Wow. I just want to be such a good parent having a hard time w/that
balancing right now. I want to read her stories at night but I need to work on my recovery too. Just very tired right now...also
very grateful I didn't gamble tonight...wow it is so strange how those urges just creep up on ya ya know? Anyways...I am going
to say good night and (hugs) to all...thanks for being here!!!

Last Day Gambled: 12/2/02


Valorie Thursday, 3/6/03, 6:35 PM

Hi all, I'm Valorie and I am a compulsive gambler, still learning how to live in my own recovery one day at a time. *SMILE* To
my dear friend Carole: Your posts, emails, and cards have carried me through many days my friend. A huge congratulations for
you today on this one year milestone. I have a great deal of respect and admiration for the way you LIVE your program, and it
has been such a pleasure to watch you just take off and run with your recovery. I'm looking forward to sharing many more
days (one at a time of course..) with you on this marvelous journey we are on. Congrats also to Linda on 5 years and all others
who are celebrating today. Just goes to show me - recovery does rock!!!! YSIR, Val

From: Oregon


sylvi b Thursday, 3/6/03, 6:17 PM

Album: Christmas Songs Compilation Buy this CD ============================= Let There be Peace on Earth
============================= Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me Let There Be Peace on
Earth The peace that was meant to be With God as our Father Brothers all are we Let me walk with my brother In perfect
harmony. Let peace begin with me Let this be the moment now. With ev'ry step I take Let this be my solemn vow; To take
each moment and live Each moment in peace eternally Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me

From: mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02


Janie J Thursday, 3/6/03, 6:15 PM

Congratulations to all who are celebrating the gifts of this program one day,30days,90days,1 yr,5 yrs and on and on on..what a
great fellowship of love and giving. Men and women sharing their thoughts with each other it makes me feel good all over. I
would love to go into the chat room that you all speak of but I keep getting booted out..i promise i will be good..can someone
share with me on how I should proceed in getting on line. I know I can do this with a little help from my friends..thank you in
advance. Today was a challenge at work..lots of customers who were crabby and didn't feel like being the brunt of their
anger..I just tried to keep an up sprit each time I answered my phone..today is my deadline for all my ads to be in for the
weekend edition..sometimes it runs smoothly and like today it was like pulling teeth to get it together..I think lack of sleep was
my downfall last night I just couldn't shut down my thoughts..nothing that should have kept me up but sometimes I just can't
calm down from the days activities..I started doing mediation tapes but I think that just gets my too up and not relaxed enough
to shut down..any ideas will be helpful.. I think I am sounding needy tonight but that's ok better to ask for help than to suffer.
There are times that a new fresh look at a situation is very helpful so you don't get into a rut. well now that the president has
spoken I can go and clean up the kitchen from dinner and sit down with my hubby and enjoy a quiet evening together. what a
great thing it is to be happy to stay home and enjoy each others company..it has taken lots of work and lots of communication
to get where we are today. to think I almost threw it away because of gambling... I am so grateful to this program..it takes
time and patience and being able to be honest with one's self to make it through the rough times and be a survivor from this
addiction..i am not cured but i am on the road to recovery for ever an ever..have a great evening to you all..please help me get
into the chat room..love to be able to chat with all of you soon..Janie J.

From: Woodridge,IL
E-mail: Jwj728@aol.com
Last Day Gambled: 4/29/97


Lloyd T. Thursday, 3/6/03, 5:53 PM

Hello hubbers and congrats to the milestoners. There's ohh so much caring here. I want give special thanks to Rich for taking
the time to listen, to melissa and the hugs, and to Carole for sharing and seizing each day, Robert for saying the serenity
prayer at least 100 time yesterday, and to everyone here to gives me hope through your shares. Well, I did it. Even though I
had to do it classic procrastinator style, my most recent journal entry heading was 3/5 11:58pm. But you know what I did it
and did not put it off. I talked with an old counselor for a period yesterday and it had been some time. The most compelling
thing i remember from the conversation was, "lloyd, it sounds as if you want something more..." I got to capture that and then
agree with it. You are darn right, I want to live. So God grant me the courage to write a few more lines tonight. Thanks. I'll be
back. LloydT

From: Mich
E-mail: kislloydt@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 12.04.01 (and not today)


Nightly HUGS and PRAYERS for the HUB Family and CGS across the World Thursday, 3/6/03, 5:31 PM

(((((AletaE, Amber, Andy-sydney, AnitaA,, Ann, Anna, AnnaC, Arnie W, Audrey, Barb, Barbara-Rella, BeckyB, BevR, Brandy,
Brenda , Brenda A, Brenda R, Brett, Cali, Cole, Colleen, Carole, CarolynK, Charlie K, CharlieP, Chatcat,Cindy D, Cindy H,
CindyW, Collette, Curtis L, Dal B, Damaris, Dan, Dave,Dave- Wash.DC, Dboy,DC, Dean, Deb B, Deb D, Deb G, Del, Delores,
Denise, DennisP, Dina, Don C, DonnaC, Dr. Jim, Dodger, Dorothe, Doug L,Emjay,FEO, Fiddler,GaryK, GeneK, Gordon D.
Gramers, Howie C, Jake A,Janie J, Jaybird, JayL, Jennifer, Jeannie, Jim A, Jim K, Joeanne, John H, John M, JoniB,Josie, Jude,
Karen, Kat, Katielyn, Kathy, Kathy S, Ken, Ken F, Kinnon, Lanie, LdyQP, Lenett, Lily , Linda C, Liz, Lloyd, Lu S, Madge, Maggie,
Marc, Marie, Mark, Mark M, Marty, Mary, Mary J, Marym downunder, MattW, Max H, , Melissa- sasha, Michelle, Miranda, Nance,
Nancy M, Nita, Okiemaw, Pat L, Patty, Paula, Pete,Purdell, Rachel, Ramona, RandyM, Ray H, ReneeB, ReneeC, Rich_DET, Richr,
Robert, Robin H, Rose, Sal, Sandy, SandyK, Scott, R, Skogie1999, SharonJ, Sheila L, Sheryl, S Jane, Sorry, Suzanne, Sue,
SusanP, Steve, Steven, SylviB, Tara, Tino (sidepocketkid), Tna-Tina, Todd, Tom P, TomS, Tracy, Valorie, Vel M, VickiB, Vida,
Wayne, Williamk, Wilma, Ymg/Ymg, Zanna, OUR LOVED ONES and EVERYONE))))) <157>

Last Day Gambled: ONE DAY AT A TIME


BrendaR Thursday, 3/6/03, 5:30 PM

Hello everyone. Welcome chatcat. Your story reads alot like mine. I know your pain. I go to GA meetings twice a week and am
so greatful for finding them. People here at the hub are great as well. I can only tell you that it takes time. You didn't get
yourself in this mess overnight, and you won't get out overnight. But while you recover, the people here will help you. Just
knowing that they know exactly what you're going through helps. And seeing how many people hit milestones everyday is so
encouraging.ODAAT Life can get back to "normal". Congrats to all the milestones today!!!!!!!!!!! Hugs to all Sasha's list. I have
the worst time trying to get in the chat room!!! Only been there once and really enjoyed it, but I can't get in. Got to go call my
sponsor. LOL.YSIR

From: Okla
E-mail: Brndmudd@cs.com
Last Day Gambled: 2-15-03


Gary K Thursday, 3/6/03, 5:10 PM

Congratulations to everyone who is celebrating a milestone today,especially to a fellow British Columbian, Carole. I've never
met Carole before, but I feel that I know her. She has become one of the Hub rocks. She posts honest, heartfelt posts on a
daily basis. I would just like her to know that she has helped me through some real tough days. I don't post too often, but I do
read the posts on a daily basis. Through the last year, Carole has been there for all of us...and for that I say "Thank You, sister"

From: Vancouver Island
E-mail: GaryK14@rcgsite.org
Last Day Gambled: November 12, 2001


Thursday, 3/6/03, 3:40 PM

Just a reminder that there is a meeting going on right now in the chat room. Hope to see you there!


DeB D. Thursday, 3/6/03, 3:36 PM

Just had to pop in a give a big congrats to our dear Linda on 5 years.....also want to add a big hug and congrats to Carole on 1
year. Every milestone is important, be it a hour, a day, a week or a month...it all adds up and all starts with One Day At A
Time. Sending smiles, prayers and (((HUGS))) to all. YSIR, Deb D.

From: Denver, Colorado
E-mail: debbies_music@hotmail.com
Last Day Gambled: 4/14/01


Kathy S. Thursday, 3/6/03, 3:34 PM

Good Afternoon Everyone, Kathy S. here a Very Grateful Recovering Compulsive Gambler ! .....WOW!.... Has it really been 5
years ? (((((((Linda T.)))))))"Big Huggs and Congratulations My Dear Friend !" ......... I remember some of our first chats on
"The Early Morning Coffee Group." How intense some of those conversations were, all the caring and sharing done
there.......Smiles....Then us meeting in Chicago, April 2001, at I think what was the First CGHub Face-to-Face Group
Meeting......... The very long, very emotional meeting we all had there, the real life Huggs, us finally putting Faces with the
Hearts we already knew..........Then you getting ill being home alot and Yes I remember the Pain you so went through, us
sharing on here from time to time..........Then we met again in Kansas City last year.................Yes People "Life is Grand in
G.A.LAND !".......... RECOVERY is GRAND !........Congratulations also goes out to Carol.... 1 Year, How Cool is That
?...........Way Cool !............To all the rest of the milestones "Great Big (Don C.) Bear Huggs ! "................with Peace and Love
in Recovery, Kathy S. ( Blubayou47@aol.com)

From: Slidell,La.(just outside of New Orleans)
Last Day Gambled: Oct.15,1996


Jennifer Thursday, 3/6/03, 3:30 PM

Thanks so much for the support, CAROLE, VICKI, and ANNA. You gals are sure good to me. As I was trudging up the stairs, I
thought to myself, "You haven't lost everything you've learned. You've only gambled 4 times in 4 months. Just think if you
hadn't found the Hub." So true. I guess I'm just stubborn (after all, a jenny is a female donkey ... hee hee). I asked my HP to
once again restore me to a normal way of thinking and living. In the meantime, the roadblocks are all in place. Thank goodness
I have an understanding spouse who is no longer willing to serve as my enabler. I'm off to the meeting. Figured I could use
one. :)

From: Missouri
E-mail: jennifermo@kc.rr.com
Last Day Gambled: 3/06/03 -- the last day of my old life


Vicki B Thursday, 3/6/03, 3:03 PM
Good Evening CGHub Family. I am a grateful compulsive gambler, feeling serene in recovery today. I will not be placing that
first bet today. I stopped at the medical dept where I had my sleep study. I came home with a CPAP machine that I am to wear
at night to help me get more oxygen and hence sleep better. The respiratory therapist said that people have been known to
lose weight when using one of these, as their energy level increases and become more active...all right!!! I start Catholic
classes tonight. I will be busy on Thursday evenings as I reconnect/learn about my faith. Another part of my recovery journey,
as I make peace with my past. Wishing all a peaceful evening. ((((Jennifer)))). You may have fallen, but you got back up!
Wishing all celebrating congratulations! Those who are struggling, we are here for you. We are in this Together...one day at a
time! Hugs and M-WAH!!!(you have been smooched!) Vicki B. [human53@yahoo.com]

From: MI
Last Day Gambled: 10/11/02


Tom S Thursday, 3/6/03, 2:53 PM

Good Afternoon Hubsters: Wanted to add my congratulations to Carole for one year and Linda for 5 years. Doesn't time fly
when you're having a good time? Every day without gambling is special in our fellowship, but putting together that many day's
at a time is extra special. Confident the two of you will continue to "carpe diem" after "carpe diem" after.... A thought occurred
to me as I posted this- Has there ever been any attempt to have cyber pinnings on the HUB? Might be fun. In love and
fellowship. Tom S. mandanwibau@msn.com

From: Minneapolis, MN
Last Day Gambled: 5/3/92


AnnaC Thursday, 3/6/03, 2:37 PM

((((((Jennifer))))))))) You have been such a good recovery friend since I logged onto the HUB. Thank you for your honesty and
good for you for not putting it all back. Good for you too for putting up those road blocks. Yep lets work this recovery together.
We can make it odaat, osaat (one second at a time.)

Last Day Gambled: 12/2/02
Barb Thursday, 3/6/03, 2:33 PM

Hi everybody!!!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS TO CAROLE 1YR AND LINDA 5YRS AND ALL THE OTHERS REACHING MILESTONES
TODAY. (CARTWHEEL CARTWHEEL CLAP CLAP CLAP) It Works If You Work It!!!!!!!!!!!!! Praticed last night for the spring
conference in Chgo next month. We are now called the Chicagoland Combo Choir. Love the choir. SUV is fixed so that is good
news, so today things are at a balance for today anyway. Hubby not feeling real well so he came home early and I made some
chicken soup, will relax tonight watching Survivor and CSI. Have a good rest of the day and smile. YSIR Barb

E-mail: brbdncr@attbi.com
Last Day Gambled: 12/16/02


Thursday, 3/6/03, 2:21 PM


chatcat Thursday, 3/6/03, 2:21 PM

Correction to my email address, should be .ca not .com

E-mail: hcsarah4me@yahoo.ca
Last Day Gambled: 030403


Jennifer Thursday, 3/6/03, 2:13 PM

This is a tough note to write. Once again, I must change my LDG. As I consider it an honor to have the same anniversary date
as CAROLE (and my parents' anniversary), I plan on keeping this one!! No excuses. I was just mad that I lost money last week
and even madder that I couldn't pay my bills this week (see the connection?). So what's the solution? Gamble more and win it
back. NOT. I was up $500 and down $130 in a flash ... and quit there, thank goodness. This disease is not something I can
control in any way, shape, or form. I know that. I know the program inside and out now. I just keep finding loopholes to let
myself slip back in (thinking I'm smarter than the casino). Hubby didn't know I was gambling until it was too late (he would
have stopped me). All roadblocks are being secured as we speak. No more loopholes. It was tough sending Jay and Patty home.
Hopefully he won't be back on the next plane to Kansas City to break my kneecaps (although they know they are always
welcome otherwise!). My life has been a whirlwind lately. I find myself at the HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, and tired) spot and
the first thing I think I should do is go numb myself with my drug of choice ... gambling. When they tell us, "DON'T PLACE
THAT FIRST BET," they mean it. One bet, and you can get caught back up in this damned disease so quickly. With the day off
tomorrow, I plan to spend the entire day reflecting and planning for our future. We've been in a tough spot with our business
for a while. I've been sitting on the fence as to what to do. Like my lovely sponsor tells me, "Sitting on the fence only makes
your butt sore." It's time to take action. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to
change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.

From: Missouri
E-mail: jennifermo@kc.rr.com
Last Day Gambled: 3/06/03 -- the last day of my old life


S Jane Thursday, 3/6/03, 2:12 PM

Day 6.. still? Gawd how the days seem to drag lately. The reality of the time wasted in action is devastating to me. I feel I've
wasted so much time. Thank you ((Carole)) for your great support, your are an amazing woman. (( Chatcat)) I tried to email
you but it came back saying address not valid.?? hhmm I hope your hanging in there. Stay with it and keep coming to the
recovery sites, people here are incredible. Today I actually got off my ass and went to visit a friend and her baby.. and spent
some quality time with my mother. Who when she gave me a hug at the door I almost started to bawl my eyes out.. but I
didn't want to burden her with my problems. She doesn't know the seriousness of this disease, I'd rather not involve her. As for
my husband, well he's still bitter about my recent relapse and we've been talking about divorce lately and I feel it's almost
come to the end for us. What angers me is that I struggled for 11 years with his 'dry ' alcoholism and dealt some crappy stuff
over the years with that, but he doesn't have the patience to support me. He said it's either I got to real GA meetings or
nothing. I told him this can't be under his terms only. He has no idea how much I am trying to deal with this disease. It's only
been in the last week that I've actually succeed in the first step to my recovery and that's admitting that I actually do have a
progressive disease. I realize tho, that I need to work on ME and I'm the priority right now, not what he expects me to do. This
may be selfish on my part, but I"m doing what's working for me and my recovery, not what HE thinks I should do. I don't want
to disappoint him anymore, but I"m doing this recovery for me right now, not for him. Is this selfish? anyway all in all I feel so
much better since last friday. I like the fact that I don't have this deep thick cloud in my head anymore. I'm finally
understanding the HP concept and working that to the best I can. congratulations to everyone who's staying clean, and to those
still struggling with the urges, hand tight and keep posting, for your benefit and ours :)

Last Day Gambled: Feb 28, 03


Jim A. (gr8_move@yahoo.com) Thursday, 3/6/03, 2:09 PM
Hello everyone ~~~~ My name is Jim A., and I am a grateful compulsive gambler, in recovery today. Thanks for the gentle
reminder Jake ... I want to add my admiration and congratulations to Carole today, getting to help her celebrate, one day at a
time, 365 DAYS FREE from any gamble, wager, bet, or punt (like my Aussie friends say!) of any kind!! Your example Carole --
your Honesty, Openmindedness and Willingness -- and the Recovery reflected in your daily Journey, have been such a
wonderful breath of fresh air, full of enthusiasm, classic inspiration. Thank you for all that you do, all that you are, and all that
you are becoming!!! Keep the Faith while you Enjoy the Journey!!!! ~~~~ Big time CONGRATULATIONS to Linda today as we
join her in celebrating 5 Years FREE from gambling, discovering a better way of life!!! "RECOVERY ROCKS!!!!" ~~~ Welcome to
CG Hub, Chatcat, so happy you followed through!!! Like we like to say, "Keep Coming Back"!!! And "Keep It So Simple"!! -- my
favorite version of the "KISS" principle, -- it's so vital!! ~~~ Peace.

From: Davison (City of Flags), Michigan
E-mail: gr8_move@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: January 23, 1996


Collette Thursday, 3/6/03, 1:49 PM

Hi everyone, hope everyone's Thursday has been good. Just think, tomorrow is Friday. I am happy to have Friday afternoons
off and the weekend. My husband and I will be celebrating our 3rd wedding anniversary on Sunday. I am amazed at how time
flies. What is also very amazing is that as I am finally feeling better, I find myself being more receptive to my husband (until he
pisses me off, ha,ha). But seriously, at lunch he stopped by my office, told me his plans for today and we caught up on the day
and for the first time in a long time we actually hugged and kissed each other goodbye. The kiss is something we always do but
the hug is new. He would like them more often but as I have found out, when I am not happy within myself..I don't want
anyone to touch me and I don't want to touch anyone. I was always so disgusted with myself I couldn't bare to show any
affection to my husband. I am proud of all the milestones today. I truly believe recovery is within my reach...."Peace is a daily,
a weekly, a monthly process." --John F. Kennedy Take care everyone..

From: South Dakota
E-mail: collettehendry@hotmail.com
Last Day Gambled: 02/24/03


Genek Thursday, 3/6/03, 1:27 PM
Hi all, Genek stopping in at my favorite site.~~~Congratulations and ((Hugs)) for all milestoners.Lindat,Maryjj,Donna,Jeannie
and Carole.Hey, Carole we can have a CYBER pot-luck dinner-I'll bring the saladLOL Time to think about supper before time
for6:30 meeting.I may be back--((((((Sasha's List)))))Genek

From: NJ
E-mail: Kgene1923@aol.com
Last Day Gambled: 1-28-03


Joanne Thursday, 3/6/03, 1:00 PM

CHATCHAT wanting to quit is the first step to recovery. You have made a good decision. I hope there is A GA meeting in your
area for you to attend. Things will get better as you stay in recovery. I will be praying for you

From: CA
Last Day Gambled: 7/30/02


chatcat Thursday, 3/6/03, 12:55 PM

Sylvi it was you I was talking to this morning, not Barb (don't know where I got that name, my apologies). I have emailed you
at the address you provided me this morning.


sylvi b Thursday, 3/6/03, 12:48 PM

Dear fellow cgs, I owe an amends.I was in error about the source of the quotation in A Day at a Time.Thomas Merton
apparently borrowed from John Donne's writing for the title of No Man is an Island, the book. There are many quotations to be
found under his name, as well. I enjoyed reading Seven Story Mountain several years ago. Also SANDY I GOT BOOTED OUT OF
THE CHAT ROOM. I TRIED TO WRITE BUT I HAVE YOUR ADDRESS WRONG . ALSO CALLED CHAT CAT. CONTACT ME. PLEASE.
SYLVI

From: mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02
Thursday, 3/6/03, 12:46 PM

OH MY GOSH...Chatcat...I came here to thank all my lovely Hub friends for their beautiful wishes (((SASHA, AMBER,
ANNAC))don't have your addys to mail your personnally, anyhow, click on here and here you are Chatcat, exactly me last year
on the very same day....I am hugging you and telling you this can be worked through, read the ga literature, there is much at
the front of this website, you are about to get the support you are looking for, hang on tight, cause its going to be quite the
ride..our HP's must be chatting, ONE MINUTE AT A TIME..then one hour, then one day....and ONE YEAR if I can do it you can
too...now I have to have a nap, all these love emails and wishes are making me exhausted, humbled and feeling so loved :)God
Bless everyone...and those not mentioned should be getting personal mail...I am compulsive, what can I say :) Carole


Chatcat Thursday, 3/6/03, 12:31 PM

I have come for help, come for strength, I cannot tell you all how your stories of recovery have inspired me. I visited the hub
last night for the first time, went into the chat room and was truly overwhelmed by the amount of support I received. Thank
you Barb, thank you for sharing your story with me. I am 38 years old, a full time working MOther of 2. I am married have
been for 10 years, the last 2 years have been very hard work. After a casino was built over a year ago in our neighborhood, I
started my visits.Started out harmlessly, out of curiosity. At the time, I had a manageable credit card balance of about $2000. I
won some money, not much, about $300, but it was enough to become a habit for me. Here I am a year later, I now have
$11000 in credit card debt, my husband knows nothing of it,I have even thought the absolute unthinkable, but I have my
children to care for,and I love them dearly. My biggest worry is the debt, I just pray for it to go away. I am responsible for
being in this position, nobody else. I accept that it was me who paved the way to being laden with debt. I curse that day that I
stepped into that casino, it has ruined my life, I want my life back now...

From: British Columbia
E-mail: hcsarah4me@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: March 4, 3002


Andy Thursday, 3/6/03, 12:17 PM

Counselling another form of sharing, I need it to move away from this disease and begin a recovery process. Read something
this am from one of the many websites on my desktop, "ACCEPTANCE. Accept that you are wherever you are in your life at the
present moment-and that it is not forever. Have faith that you can change and grow, yet be comfortable and embrace your life
today."

From: Sydney
Last Day Gambled: 03/03/03

sasha Thursday, 3/6/03, 12:10 PM

hehehehe just have to laugh at myself right now. I must have been very tired last night.....doughnut=donut, crispy
creme=krispy kreme.and a lot more I wont mention.LOLOLOL how the mind goes as I get older!! SOOOO wonderful to see the
posts today. ROBERT so happy you are family!!! thank you for sharing!! S Jane, so wonderful putting out your request for a
sponsor!!! I know one will come your way quickly!! The weather here in Sacramento is beautiful again today. I feel at ease now
because I finally emailed my best freind, Mike. Told him what was going on and told him about the repayment of the loan. MY
HP was with me yesterday!! Allowing the IRS return to be so wonderful!!! I could not believe my eyes....after this month I will
have $3000 left on that balance, but that will get paid off within 1 month or 2...depending LOLOL if I still have a job, I can
make two payments, if I am laid off I can pay the balance. WOW, I am sitting here, remembering how people say "COUNT
YOUR BLESSING" and I realllllyyyy have tooooo. With the dark hole I was in just a few months ago...and even after getting
help I still gambled on 1/21/03....I am simply amazed, amazed that things are being cleared, being able to pay out what I need
too. I certainly have not done this one alone. My HP and my father have been looking down on me, giving me strength and
confidence..this HUB has given me this strength and confidence. I think today I am finally forgiving my self for what I
did...maybe that is why I feel so good. I still have a long ways to go, but I am loving the travel on this path. It has been 43
days....never thought that would come. Seeing the milestone dates today inspires me. The lady last night, with her shiny 1 year
pin....proudly worn and displayed on her collar, inspired me. She had such a beaming smile. She said that her new husband
told her...if you are clean for 1 year, we will get married. Well they did and she brought in her wedding pictures to share. Those
are the simple, happy moments in life. Well, I best get off and get my butt working...have to sale sale sale...Peace out, s

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


Wilma Thursday, 3/6/03, 11:48 AM

Hello everyone. Wilma here still a CG and grateful to be in recovery ODAAT. First, CONGRATULATIONS to all celebrating
milestones today. (((CAROLE))) wow! one year, congratulations my dear g/f. My prayers to all who still suffers. Its a beautiful
day today, the storm finally left us, so now we can see the beautiful blue skies again. I didn't mind the rain and looking at those
big white clouds since we don't get much rain here in the desert. This morning I woke up thinking about the credit card bills
that my SO didn't know. I was thinking how am I going to pay this bills past so I can tell him what I've done. (I planned to tell
him when I paid it off) Then my mind start wondering and the stinking thinking start. I have to get out of that thinking quick
and say the Serenity Prayer. I got up made coffee went to the backyard drink my coffee there and watch the rabbit and her 2
littles babies (so cute)and hummingbirds. Read the blue book (love that blue book). Now I felt better. Thank you all for your
post and your support. I am off to do what's on my to do list. Visit a good friend and from there off to the meeting. Thanks to
that donut idea (Sasha). I bring cookies to the meeting for someone who celebrates a milestone. Krispy Cream donuts sounds
more yummy. Thank you all. Welcome newcomers (I always forget to mention that) Have a gamble free day everyone, I know I
will and I'll be back. Love and Hugs to Sasha's list. Wilma

From: Arizona
E-mail: wilma102102@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 10-21-02


marc Thursday, 3/6/03, 11:44 AM

carole,linda.t, donna.c,maryj,jennie congrats on all of your milestones!!!! you are on top of the world,the views gotta be
great!!!!enjoyed the chat with everyone last night,it was a great party!! robert,keep the faith brother,were here for ya!
chatcat,hope you come back,you will find lots of support here,we have all been there! sasha,send some of those krispy kreme
my way,hmmm,luv um,just cant get um here,(lol) hope everyone has a great bet free day!! stay safe and god bless, marc

From: ar
E-mail: mkbtuck@hotmail.com
Last Day Gambled: 10-01-02


Renee B. Thursday, 3/6/03, 11:26 AM

Hello Dear Friends In Recovery, I am a compulsive recovering gambler and my name is Renee B. I would like to congratulate
everyone that is celebrating a milestone today and everyone that is here reading and in recovery or thinking about taking the
big step to join the rest of us in recovery. A big YAHOO for LINDA T. Without you Linda I don't believe I would have ever found
recovery. You have been there for me every morning (almost) since you started our little coffee club. 5 years is a big chunk of
recovery and I am so glad that I found this site and got to meet you. I love you buddy. Hope your day is going beautifully. Your
Friend in Recovery Renee B.

From: Cottage Grove, Mn.
E-mail: rboshay@hotmail.com
Last Day Gambled: 12/27/00


Amber Thursday, 3/6/03, 11:02 AM

Hugs ((ALL))......had a nice coffee visit with a girlfriend (and her twin babies) this morning...was soooo nice to chat with her.
We did alot of catching up as both of our lives have become so busy lately. Mine with recovery and hers with twins! My son
came home from school to have lunch with me and he's just left. I just love having him come home for lunch with me on the
days that I work aft/eve. I used to make a lunch for him to have at school, that way I was free to gamble away my time and
money before having to go to work. Now I look forward to and enjoy his company at lunch time and I get to keep in touch with
how his day is going. We have always been very close, even while I was gambling, but I feel since I have been in recovery,
those bonds are growing even tighter. It's me that had changed, not him....I'm more patient and tolerent. I'm pleased that at
14, he's a great talker and tells me whatever is on his mind, and I hope that he doesn't go through that typical teen thing and
pull away....so glad that I can listen to him. He's at the age, right now, where he probably needs me to 'listen' the most and
I'm soooooo grateful that I found recovery before our relationship became damaged. I considered myself fortunate, as life for
me today could be alot worse.........smiles to everyone!....ysir Amber

Last Day Gambled: the last day of my old life


Robert B Thursday, 3/6/03, 10:30 AM

Congrats to ((((Linda T)))) on 5 years, (((Carole))) on 1 year (((Donna))) (((Maryjj))) and Jeannie on 30 days. great work, this
program works if YOU work it. Linda T thanks for that awesome post for I too was a arrogant opinionated gambler, God how I
now hate that old me, had to be right about everything. Since I came to GA and learned to work the steps in my everyday life,
Life has gotten better and sweeter for me. Even having to go thru a divorce and my wife not letting me see our daughter will
not throw me back to where I came from, I have come to far to stop now!!!!!!!Thanks to Joni B, Sylvi B, Jaybird, marc, Ann
really enjoyed the chat last night, it was a great pick me up. I will end my post like my spnsor ends his thereapy, I am one bet
away from disaster, If I dont take the first one I do not have to woory about the second one. God Bless and have a great
recovery day, I know I will!!!!!!!!!!!

From: Albuquerque
E-mail: bacar87102@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: Nov 7, 2000
S Jane Thursday, 3/6/03, 10:24 AM

Was wondering if anyone might be interested in being a sponsor to me. Could really use someone here who I could turn to
personally on a regular basis. Maybe even help them some how as well. I read messages and working the steps to the best of
my ability. Thanks in advance. Sandy

E-mail: sandy72269@yahoo.ca
Last Day Gambled: Feb 28, 03


sasha Thursday, 3/6/03, 10:07 AM

A shout out and congratulations to:((Carole))--ONE YEAR! ((Linda T))--FIVE YEARS! (((Donna C))), ((Maryj))-9 MONTHS!
((Jeannie))-30 days. TO ALL MILESTONERS TODAY>>>WAY TO GO!!!! WELCOME to all new comers....Happy to see you have
found a place to come...I am still new to the HUB, but it has given me so much to my recovery!! Look forward to hearing from
you. To my family, thank you for your kind words regarding my f2f!!! That was a big step for me....lololol but is was so
simple..just went and shared with the group!! I hope the man who chaired the meeting will come by and visit us here.
(marym), (jennifer) yes, the human connection is important and I shall see if I go next weekend again. I suppose I feel so
much more comfy from my own home....reading, writing and chatting. In our meeting we went through the entire yellow
booklet...and that is probably done for reinforcement and our dedication to our recovery....but shoot, I just wanted us all to
interact...but, yes we did.....as we went through certain items in the booklet, people would comment and give feedback. I was
all good. Gotta make you laugh, since it had been such a long time since I visited this group..I decided to buy doughnouts. lol
we have Crispy Creme doughnuts here and I bought two boxes of doughnuts fresh out of the oven!! Well, everyone was SOO
happy...but there was NO COFFEE!! So, last night they decided that we need to have coffee and are now making plans to
provide that. But the funny part was, did have left overs (there were about 10 of us there) and I wanted people to take some
doughnuts home...but one lady came up and grabed a box that had 8 doughnuts and said...NO I AM TAKING ALL OF THESE
HOME WITH ME!! LOLOL too funny..bless her heart, she had a smile on her face as she left. My heart did go out to the
newcomer, she huged me and said that she was so happy to have had the crispy creme because she was not able to afford
anything! I REALLY DESPISE THIS DISEASE!!!! To bring people to their knees like this...and yes, I to was brought down SO
HARD that I bruised my knees, my hands, got a bump on my HEAD and had a tear streaked face. I am still suffering, but finally
healing. All I have is HOPE, the hope that my recovery, your recovery and all those new people in recovery will continue...as
long as we continue on this path, life gets so much better for us all. And sometimes things may get worse before it gets
better....but it will get better and there is that light at the end of that tunnel. Strength peace and love to you all. S
Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


Vicki B Thursday, 3/6/03, 9:54 AM

Just doing the Happy Dance Strut as I congratulate Carole on her 1 yr of Success!!!


EmJay Thursday, 3/6/03, 9:51 AM

((Carole)) one year...awesome...Congratulations.. ((lindaT)) WOW 5 years way to go...All other ((MILESTONERS)) have a great
gamble free day and be good to you.....I stopped cleaning to come here and read and get a dose of inspiration and love from
everyone...and it worked!!!!!Just can't get enough of this hub and all of you wonderful brothers and sisters in recovery...from
you I have learned that I am worth something and that I will stop this compulsion with the scratcher...I don't feel I am strong
enough yet to go into places that know how I gambled because I don't want to face temptation it would be to easy to give in
...but those places are not as noticable to me for now so I am making some headway....Must go and seize the day and make it
great and gamblefree....Love and (((Hugs))) to each and every one of you.

From: NM
E-mail: mbarela@desertgate.com
Last Day Gambled: 1/26/03


Charlie P Thursday, 3/6/03, 9:34 AM

Carole, congrats on your one year milestone. Congrats to the rest of the milestons also. Yes the program does work one day at
a time. I have to keep reminding myself of that alot now...:)..Such a big pleasure seeing everyone sharing and caring and
carrying the message to those who come here suffering. Hope we all have another day gamble free. YBIR Charlie P

From: Live in Mississippi
E-mail: cp044@bellsouth.net
Last Day Gambled: 2/23/03
Daily HUGS and Prayers to the HUB Family and CGS across the World Thursday, 3/6/03, 9:29 AM

(((((AletaE, Amber, Andy-sydney, AnitaA,, Ann, Anna, AnnaC, Arnie W, Audrey, Barb, Barbara-Rella, BeckyB, BevR, Brandy,
Brenda , Brenda A, Brenda R, Brett, Cali, Cole, Colleen, Carole, CarolynK, Charlie K, CharlieP, Cindy D, Cindy H, CindyW,
Collette, Curtis L, Dal B, Damaris, Dan, Dave,Dave-Wash.DC, Dboy,DC, Dean, Deb B, Deb D, Deb G, Del, Delores, Denise,
DennisP, Dina, Don C, DonnaC, Dr. Jim, Dodger, Dorothe, Doug L,Emjay,FEO, Fiddler,GaryK, GeneK, Gordon D. Gramers,
Howie C, Jake A,Janie J, Jaybird, JayL, Jennifer, Jeannie, Jim A, Jim K, Joeanne, John H, John M, JoniB,Josie, Jude, Karen, Kat,
Katielyn, Kathy, Kathy S, Ken, Ken F, Kinnon, Lanie, LdyQP, Lenett, Lily , Linda C, Liz, Lloyd, Lu S, Madge, Maggie, Marc, Marie,
Mark, Mark M, Marty, Mary, Mary J, Marym downunder, MattW, Max H, , Melissa- sasha, Michelle, Miranda, Nance, Nancy M,
Nita, Okiemaw, Pat L, Patty, Paula, Pete,Purdell, Rachel, Ramona, RandyM, Ray H, ReneeB, ReneeC, Rich_DET, Richr, Robert,
Robin H, Rose, Sal, Sandy, SandyK, Scott, R, Skogie1999, SharonJ, Sheila L, Sheryl, S Jane, Sorry, Suzanne, Sue, SusanP,
Steve, Steven, SylviB, Tara, Tino (sidepocketkid), Tna-Tina, Todd, Tom P, TomS, Tracy, Valorie, Vel M, VickiB, Vida, Wayne,
Williamk, Wilma, Ymg/Ymg, Zanna, OUR LOVED ONES and EVERYONE))))) <156>

Last Day Gambled: ONE DAY AT A TIME


marc Thursday, 3/6/03, 9:18 AM

"One of the sanest, surest, and most generous joys of life comes from being happy over the good fortune of others." Archibald
Rutledge


Annac Thursday, 3/6/03, 8:41 AM

Mary J---9 months Jeannie --- 30 days!!!! Awesome milestones!!! whoo hooo Congratulations!!! Celebrating big time today:)

Last Day Gambled: 12/2/02


sylvi b Thursday, 3/6/03, 8:14 AM

Dear fellow cgs, The previous entry is the entire quotation to which the Day at a Time meditation for March 6 refers. I meant to
include only the last half which begins :No man is an island entire in itself etc. but the browser took all of it. Anyway, that is
where you will find the part most people are familiar with. I have always loved it and at one time could recite by heart. I hope
someone enjoys it. YSIR sylvi b

From: mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02


sylvi b Thursday, 3/6/03, 8:05 AM

John Donne: 'No man is an island, entire of itself' Published December 7, 1999 JD2K07 Editor's note: John Donne, a priest, poet
and preacher, was born in England during the reign of Elizabeth I. From 1622 until his death in 1631, he was dean of St. Paul's
Cathedral in London, and his popularity as a preacher drew large crowds. Many of Donne's works focus on issues of death and
resurrection; his wife, Anne, died at the age of 33. In "Devotions upon Emergent Occasions," from which the following is
excerpted, Donne wrote lines that have become famous among English speakers everywhere. Now, this bell tolling softly for
another, says to me: Thou must die. Perchance he for whom this bell tolls may be so ill, as that he knows not it tolls for him;
and perchance I may think myself so much better than I am, as that they who are about me, and see my state, may have
caused it to toll for me, and I know not that. The church is Catholic, universal, so are all her actions; all that she does belongs
to all. When she baptizes a child, that action concerns me; for that child is thereby connected to that body which is my head
too, and ingrafted into that body whereof I am a member. And when she buries a man, that action concerns me: all mankind is
of one author, and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better
language; and every chapter must be so translated; God employs several translators; some pieces are translated by age, some
by sickness, some by war, some by justice; but God's hand is in every translation, and his hand shall bind up all our scattered
leaves again for that library where every book shall lie open to one another. As therefore the bell that rings to a sermon calls
not upon the preacher only, but upon the congregation to come, so this bell calls us all; but how much more me, who am
brought so near the door by this sickness. There was a contention as far as a suit (in which both piety and dignity, religion and
estimation, were mingled), which of the religious orders should ring to prayers first in the morning; and it was determined, that
they should ring first that rose earliest. If we understand aright the dignity of this bell that tolls for our evening prayer, we
would be glad to make it ours by rising early, in that application, that it might be ours as well as his, whose indeed it is. The
bell doth toll for him that thinks it doth; and though it intermit again, yet from that minute that that occasion wrought upon
him, he is united to God. Who casts not up his eye to the sun when it rises? but who takes off his eye from a comet when that
breaks out? Who bends not his ear to any bell which upon any occasion rings? but who can remove it from that bell which is
passing a piece of himself out of this world? No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of
the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy
friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to
know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee. Neither can we call this a begging of misery, or a borrowing of misery, as though
we were not miserable enough of ourselves, but must fetch in more from the next house, in taking upon us the misery of our
neighbours. Truly it were an excusable covetousness if we did, for affliction is a treasure, and scarce any man hath enough of
it. No man hath affliction enough that is not matured and ripened by and made fit for God by that affliction. If a man carry
treasure in bullion, or in a wedge of gold, and have none coined into current money, his treasure will not defray him as he
travels. Tribulation is treasure in the na

From: mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02


AnnaC Thursday, 3/6/03, 7:47 AM

Good morning all (Carole) 1 year oh my I too wish I could give you a big in person congratulations hug. All w/milestones today
(((()))) Dal & Okiemaw & JoniB thank you for the Chat last night. Just wanted to say I have been starting to go back into my
old scary habits of letting too many things overwhelm me. Brought work home last night but chatted online instead. This
morning I am working on letting God guide me and not let myself get overwhelmed w/what is ahead of me. I was missing one
of my html help books yesterday and became very frustrated at work because I am working on a small web design. This
morning I decided to leave it to God and yes, I found my book this morning. So today I pray, please let me follow my spiritual
path and not let my own desires and crazy thinking get in the way of accomplishing great things...even if they are small
things...they are great things that I would not have been able to accomplish if I let my own negative thoughts get in the way of
accomplishing them. Thank you for letting me share and thank you each and everyone of you for your strength, experience and
hope. YSIR (love those web words:)) Anna

Last Day Gambled: 12/2/02


Amber Thursday, 3/6/03, 7:26 AM

Good Morning ((ALL))........It's so nice to wake in the morning and not worry how I am going to keep myself from
gambling!....Gambling used to be my first thought eveyday but now, recovery is my first thought everyday! Before recovery,
during my attempts in abstinance, I can remember getting ready for work in the morning and having stern conversations with
myself, promising myself that I would not gamble that day. I would beg and plead with myself and some 'unseen' force to help
me. It never worked. As the day wore on...I would find myself plotting how to get gambling and my morning convo with myself,
*poof* disappeared from my memory. I lived like that EVERYDAY!.....I knew for a long time that I had to stop and I would
try....but I just couldn't stay stopped.....until now. So what's different, you ask?......the answere is 'ME'! That's what is
different. I admitted I was powerless and my life had become unmanageable and I stopped trying to control it!..in
otherwords....I surrendered and I accepted that this is who I am. I AM a compulsive gambler! I ALWAYS will be!....and that's
o.k....smiles....because now I'm a RECOVERING compulsive gambler and ALWAYS will be.....and that's even better!.......Find
peace in your day today my ((friends))....ysir Amber

Last Day Gambled: the last day of my old life


Carole Thursday, 3/6/03, 6:53 AM

ITS A NEW DAY!!! A WHOLE YEAR!!!! WOW..and looks like I have lots of company..congratulations Linda and of the others, an
awesome day...feels like yesterday, each time I read a newcomers story, I tear up, that is ME..and was ME and could be ME
again..always, makes me shudder, and always makes me feel humbled to receive a wonderful gift..recovery..:) Over my
months of posting and reading posts, it seems a tradition to have a pinning at the one year mark and to have a potluck
dinner..impossible to me today, but if you invited to a potluck dinner in my honor, what would you bring??? a salad, a dessert,
an entree..just kidding,I always get anxious when I have to attend one of those, just being HERE is enough for me today...I
want to thank my Heavenly Father, who embraced HIS lost child..on my knees..all a mess...he heard my plea..next morning..I
was at a gambling addiction counsellors...an hour later at his suggestion, in the casino being banned(most empowering
experience and thank God for it, as I power walk by that building every day, NEUTRAL..the only way to explain how it seems to
me)MY DEVOTED HUSBAND..who after the rage(don't blame him for that)..forgave me and loves me with all my warts, as I do
with his ;) our 30 year marriage is stronger than ever..for our adult children, their spouses, our 2 grandchildren:):):)for my real
live friends..the gift of the 12 steps..FOR EACH AND EVERY SPECIAL LINK IN THIS CHAIN OF LOVE CALLED THE HUB...for each
new day, filled with hope and possibilities..and for the ugly moments, as we all know real life contains them, with the coping
skills acquired along my journey of life, and this special year...I am so grateful for the awakening in ME..my being in charge of
my destiny, Day by Day...for all struggling today, do what you NEED to do..listen, breathe deeply, get HONEST..step 4 was so
powerful to me...there is great power in you, more than you would ever know..a year ago today, I was close to my 3rd suicide
attempt..today, I am still a compulsive gambler and will be tomorrow, but I plan to stay aware..thanks for the greetings so
early this day..and Joni where is your faith, we may meet one day:)..Carpe Diem, Carole

From: british columbia, canada
Last Day Gambled: MARCH 6,2002


Jennifer Thursday, 3/6/03, 6:46 AM

Good morning, friends. Sending PATTY and JAYBIRD back to Washington this morning and not too happy about it. They've been
such a joy to have here this week. The good news is I know we'll see them again soon ... they're family now (and family I enjoy
being around!). ~~~ DAVE, did you get my e- mail? Welcome aboard. No matter what, keep coming back. Eventually, with
your desire to quit, it will click. ~~~ MELISSA/SASHA, I can relate to the face- to-face cry as I had one of those last weekend
in front of a bunch of people. But boy did I feel the weight lifted off my shoulders afterward. Cleansing is right! ~~~
Congratulations on your 5 years, LINDA T.! And thank you for sharing your story on this very important day. Hugs! ~~~ And a
gigantic hug for my friend/angel on Earth CAROLE on her 1- year anniversary. ~~~ Congrats, as well, to MARYJ on her 9
months, JEANNIE on her 30 days, and DONNA C. on her many month's of recovery. You ladies are awesome! ~~~ My heart is
so full from this last week, and I have much I'd like to share, but I need to get upstairs and cook a big breakfast and send the
kids on their way. You all have a happy and safe day!

From: Missouri
E-mail: jennifermo@kc.rr.com
Last Day Gambled: 2/27/03 ... the last day of my old life


Dal B. Thursday, 3/6/03, 6:08 AM

Good morning, I'll just try and get through the day. I will shed the feelings of yesterday and let this one start anew and hope
that it is a better one. +++++++++++++++++++ Thanks to Joni, it helped letting me vent instead of thinking gambling was
the solution.++++++++Congrats to Linda T. Fine job and a better life for sure. I'm on my way to work (((((HUGS))))) Dal
(Apprehensive) B.

From: Vancouver, WA
E-mail: dalbert_b@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 12/31/02


Amber Thursday, 3/6/03, 6:07 AM

((((Carole))))...ONE YEAR!!!! Congratulations! ((Linda T.))...FIVE YEARS!!!...(((Donna C.)))... (((Maryjj)))....9 MONTHS!!!.....
(((Jeannie))).....30 days!..........WAY TO GO! And to all other milestoners......WAHOOOOOOOO!!

Last Day Gambled: the last day of my old life
Audrey Thursday, 3/6/03, 5:59 AM

Good Morning Everyone...CONGRATS to all those reaching another milestone today...LindaT...CONGRATS on 5 years bet free..I
have been blessed to have met you f/f,get and give a real live hug,share,and see that beautiful smile,and once in awhile get
together with that very early morning coffee group here:) Thanks for your beautiful post!!!An inspiration and beautiful example
of recovery....Hope you have a wonderful dinner with hubby:)...And Carole...CONGRATS on ONE year:)..Another
inpiration,wonderful example of recovery in action..Thanks for your heart posts,sharing your journey with us here,and being a
"part of my parachute":)..You to have a wonderful day,celebrate your very special day,embrace it!!!!!Who knows,maybe
someday I will get and give a real live hug from you to:)... And MarJ...CONGRATS on 9 months......Yet another
inspiration,beautiful example of recovery..I've been blessed once again to have met you f/f,get and give those huggies,have
some looooong breakfasts:)with great shares,shopping together is too fun,especially when you pick out clothes for me:)Enjoy
your day to:)To all of you here,newcomers,old timers,those in between:),you all give me strength and hope..I think,NO I know,
CGs are some of the most caring,loving,sharing,good people I know today..What an awesome bunch we are hey Nancy:)...Have
a good day everyone,keep coming back as together we can do it,taking it a day at a time..Peace,love,hugs and
prayers..ysir..Audrey

From: Wisconsin
Last Day Gambled: 4/22/01


Vicki B Thursday, 3/6/03, 5:16 AM

I am a compulsive gambler, always will be...the difference today is I am a compulsive gambler, working on recovery. "Nothing
is going to happen to me today that together with God I can not handle." Gambling will not help. Winning will not help. My
recovery lies in being Honest... Open...Willing each day. Working the 12 steps and 12 traditions in all my affairs insures me a
better way of life. Grateful for our CGHub Family here. Connecting with each of you here each day helps me stay on the
recovery path. Just for today...it is a wonderful world. Sure, I have $$$ in debt. Not only from gambling but from being a
compulsive spender. But, as I pay down that debt, and don't add to it; it will eventually be gone. Taking this journey one step
at a time, one day at a time! Congrats to you milestoners!!! You are our inspiration! Welcome to you who are new here. You
are no longer alone. We are in this together... connect here with others who know "your guilt, your shame, your remorse". We
are all compulsive gamblers working on not placing a bet today. Off to make my day the best day possible! Love, Hugs, and M-
WAH!!!(Consider yourself smooched!) Vicki B. human53@yahoo.com

From: MI
Last Day Gambled: 10/11/02
rich r Thursday, 3/6/03, 5:09 AM

Hello all. ~~~ Linda, congratulations and thanks for keeping your meeting open and thanks for all the past online 'coffee
meetings'. ~~~ Lloyd, thanks for posting what you did. I, too, have those thots that keep running thru my mind. If I write
them down, it tends to turn them off for awhile. I have been reading a book about journaling lately. It's by Ira Progoff and he
says journalling is a way of getting in touch with our soul. Interesting. Also I was just listening to a tape on the internet and the
guy said that god isn't interested in our past (sins). He is much more interested in what we may become, starting today. That's
it for me today, don't want to go on and on like I usually do! ~~~ I'll be back :-)

From: detroit
E-mail: richr121500@yahoo,com
Last Day Gambled: 121500


Delores Thursday, 3/6/03, 4:58 AM

Good Morning! CONGRATS (((LINDA T))), 5 Years!!!! I could so relate to your post. I am grateful too, to be in recovery for both
AA & GA. I believe in my heart I was an Alcholic & Compulsive Gambler always waiting to happen, all of my life.....I've been
medicating my feelings in some shape or form since I was 15 years old, with drugs, alcohol, and finally gambling. So here I am
49 years old, and facing those feelings, it feels good.....no more regrets, no remorse, and no more of those fire engine prayers
(God please help me out of this one!). I'm grateful that my life is becoming less complicated....and that I can see, hear, & feel
more clearly...with the help of my HP..... Thank You (((SASHA'S LIST))) for being here every day, you all are keeping me clean
& sober. YSIR Delores

From: Twin Cities, MN
E-mail: mntoots@msn.com
Last Day Gambled: 1/1/03


Paula Thursday, 3/6/03, 4:43 AM

Good morning Friends. CONGRATULATIONS to all reaching milestones over the last two days. It was good to read all the posts.
So much wisdom and knowledge shared here. It is encouraging to find out about all the different levels of recovery. NOthing
new is going on around here. Just recovery, work, and church activities. I try to keep a spiritual eye on things, and look at it
from a positive perspective. LIFE IS GOOD!! The longer we stay away from gambling, the better it gets. As you take it one day
at a time, the days add up. Posting and meetings, reading literature, all are tools we have to use to grow and change; along
with the desire to stop gambling. I'm happy for one more day to look forward to. A day to learn something, share something,
and grow more into the person God would have me to be. I hope everyone has a great day, gamble-free.

From: Oklahoma
E-mail: LdyQP@aol.com
Last Day Gambled: 9/22/02


JoniB Thursday, 3/6/03, 4:37 AM

GOD Morning Precious Friends..another gcg..Grateful for YOU Today..((((SASHAS LIST)))..how precious and a Joy you are ..so
loved our visit..and you sharing your f2f meeting with me..ThankYOU:):) Sooooo Many Milestoners Today..Hugging each one of
you too:):) All have touched this ole heart and part of my personal Journey:) ((((MILESTONERS)))) I need to share about our 5
year Gal..(((((LindaT))))as shes been part of my coffee Group since day one of my Recovery Journey..and seeing her
Celebrating this special Milestone today..soo warms my Heart..stopped into the Group toooo HUG her and wish her the bestest
of Days..she shared her Hubby is taking her to dinner to Celebrate:) Love this Gal..What an INSPIRATION and EXAMPLE for me
personally as we shared each morning..the good , bad and ugly..together..THANKYOU LINDAT..for Being there.and showing me
it can be done..if I just hang in there ..ODAAT:) I love YOU!! ((((CAROLE))))I may never get to HUG You for REAL..but ya know
what..you have touched my Heart deeply..and are a precious Deart Friend always..Congrats and thankyou for being here for us
ALL..just LOVE YOU!!!..((((Maryjj))))) what can I say..except..You melt my Heart..and Im soooooo Grateful that your part of
my Journey..yep.. All YOU PRECIOUS PEOPLE..are what Makes me KEEP on KEEPING ON...the LIGHT thats Showing me..The
BEAUTY in TODAY!! That its Sooooo Worth it..ThankYOU!! I am SOOOOO GRATEFUL FOR " YOU "..and my HP(GOD) for bringing
me here:):) Doooo CELEBRATE "YOU" TODAY..K>.for Each day brings new WONDERS and JOYS..and IS A GIFT..YOU are!!!
Make it All it can be..k..and I will Tooo:):) Hugging and Loving YOU..off to make my Day..yep..with my Bestest Buddy by my
Side tooo:):) Love You Precious Beautiful People:) ysir, whos SMILING BIGTIME:) Joni B.

From: Nebr.
Last Day Gambled: 7/08/00 Grateful


Jay L. Thursday, 3/6/03, 4:27 AM
As the days, weeks and years pass without a bet, I'm finding that slowly my fears are being replaced faith. Faith that I (with G-
d's help) can accomplish my goals and dreams. As the fear lessens, I'm finding that by just showing up (that's what the fear
prevented in the first place), the tasks are far easier than I ever imagined or should I say feared. Have a great day everyone
and thanks for listening.

From: Arizona
E-mail: jaylaz123@hotmail.com
Last Day Gambled: November 5, 2000.


Patty Thursday, 3/6/03, 4:26 AM

Morning All Welcome all the newcomers..This place is wonderfull and for me it helps me stay in recovery...Recovery is spoke
about a lot this morning...At first when i started going to meetings..I used to go and cry in there for about two years...and used
to feel so useless and felt...i could never get this programme...like the others in the room who were smiling and actually
laughing...how could they laugh i used to think...With the black hole that I was in...how could I ever laugh again....I kept going
back cause I knew at the meetings there was a peace in me that I had never experenced before...And T-day....I can honestly
say...i do have the steps and the programme..but its one day at a time for me...my mind can "slip"...anytime I need others
who have gone through what i have...and for me to be understood i had to get honest with ME...only ME ...and when i actually
done step 4...it was a great freedom....to be able to work on ME...Have a great Day everyone... Thanks for listening to me...
Patty.....

From: Ireland
E-mail: oconnorpatti@hotmail.com


Thursday, 3/6/03, 4:22 AM

Reflection for the Day..There is no advantage, no profit, and certainly no growth when I deceive myself merely to escape the
consequences of my own mistakes. When I realize this, I know I'll be making progress "We must be true inside, true to
ourselves, before we can know a truth that is outside us," wrote Thomas Merton in NO MAN is an Island. "But we make
ourselves true inside by manifesting the truth as we see it. Am I true to myself? Today I PRAY..May I count on my Higher
Power to help me carry out the truth as I see it. May I never duck a consequence again. Consequence-ducking became a parlor
game for addictive gamblers like me, until we lost all sense of relationship between action and outcome. Now that I am healing,
please God, restore my balance. Today I WILL Remember..Match the act with the consequence. sharing ..A Day at a
time..GA..The HUB


Thursday, 3/6/03, 4:15 AM

The HUB would like to Congratulate All those reaching another Milestone!!!Jack J 3-6-92..11 Years!!Tom S. 10-6-94..Mark W.
1-6-97..Linda T. 3-6- 98 ..Donna C. 4-6-00.FEO. 11-6-00..Theresa P. 2-6-02 Rose L. 2-6-02..Randy L. 3-6-02..1 YEAR!!Carole
G, 3- 6-02..1 YEAR!!Tom N 5-6-02..James P McN 6-6-02.9 Months.,,Mary JJ 6-6-02..9 Months!!Joyce M. 6-6-02 9 Months!!Judy
E 6-6-02..9 Months!!Joyce M. 6-6-02 ..9 Months!!!Sandi T 8-06-02..sue h. 10/6/02..Theresa P. 10-06-02 Jeannie M 2-6-03 ..1
Month!!...CLAP CLAP CLAP...CELEBRATE "TODAY" HOW AWESOME:):) "YOU":):):):) ThankYOU for Your ES & HOPE!!!! ENJOY
TODAY!!!!:):)


Charlie P Thursday, 3/6/03, 3:50 AM

Just wanted to pop in an wish Linda T a special congrats on those 5 years clean. Huggs Linda. YBIR Charlie P


Linda T. Thursday, 3/6/03, 3:34 AM

Good morning everyone, my name is Linda T. and I'm a recovering compulsive gambler. Today marks 5 years since I first
walked into a GA meeting and I have never looked back. I remember the dark, black tunnel I was in the last time I gambled,
suicidal, looking for a deep embankment to drive off of, heart pounding, crying, screaming at God. I will never forget that night
as long as I live. God was with me that night, He saved my life, and for that I am truly grateful. I found a GA meeting, dug
right in, spilled my soul. I had to get everything out of me, it felt like I was dying and had to get it out before it was too late.
Doing the Steps one by one made me realize what a mess I was in and what a mess I was. The Steps let me put myself back
together the recovery way...only letting things back in that would help me grow to be a better person. I drove 70 miles every
week one way to the nearest GA meeting for six months until I started the GA group I now attend. I went to conferences,
workshops, anything I could do to expand my knowledge of this deadly disease. Some people say they hate being a compulsive
gambler, that they are different, that they can't gamble like normal people, etc. I don't care. I love my recovery and wouldn't
trade it for the world. Without recovery, I would have remained the empty, sightless, arrogant person I once was. I never want
to be that person again. So I can't gamble again...so what? Why would I want to? I don't want that shame and guilt back. I
don't want to lie anymore. I don't want to go to sleep crying because I feel so empty and alone. I have so many more better
things to do with my time, money and life. When I have a bad day, or things just are going the way I would like them to, big
deal! That's life. I try to tell myself to deal with it and go on. Little disappointments as well as big ones are a part of life,
something I could never deal with before my recovery. Recovery taught me how to do that. I've noticed when i have
disappointments, big or small, there seems to be a reason for that. When I look at what the turn out is after the
disappointment, I see the reasons behind it. Recovery turned me into a better person. No one is perfect. No one has the
"perfect life"...it just doesn't exist. But, a bad day without gambling is sooooooooo much more than a "good day" gambling.
Having a meeting to go to every week puts me in the right perspective. Talking to people who know where I'm coming from is
the best therapy of all. I love this program and will forever be grateful for what it's done for me. The people in it are wonderful,
caring individuals who are trying to make their life a change for the better...and for that I am grateful. About a year ago I was
going through some health problems. I was off work for 3 months, in alot of pain. This program is what got me through, along
with the wonderful people in it. Gambling was far from my mind because of the program. I could go on and on about GA and its
members...but not enough room on this whole site for that! I want to thank each and every one of you for your sharing, caring
and deep honesty that only comes with trust and need. For without recovery, life would be unbearable. Thank you all from the
bottom of my heart!

From: Ashland, WI
E-mail: pandl@cheqnet.net
Last Day Gambled: 03/06/98


marym Thursday, 3/6/03, 12:51 AM

Good gamble free day dear family, Mary here CG, but by the grace of God I am so much more than that
today***********************7.30pm Thursday here. am posting again as I am going to visit my family when I finish work
in the morning, for a few days. It is my baby's birthday tomorrow, Louise will be 28. I cant believe it, but she is still and will
always be my baby. We are spending the day together along with my sister Eileen. Then I am having dinner with my sisters
tomorrow night. Saturday I am baby sitting my grandaughter Jade for the day. Soooo looking forward to that, guess who is
going to be spoilt???? These are all great gifts to me. Simple things, but they mean so much to me today. I lost so much time
with my family when I was entertaining the beast. I have a lot to make up for. I do so willingly, I do not have the selfish beast
telling me that time with my family was keeping me away from having fun with "it". When my grandson was a baby and I was
still in action I would play with him for about half an hour, all the while my head was with the beast. I could not get away fast
enough to go to the club with his mother. Cody now lives 1000 miles away and I only see him twice a year, I lost that time with
him and I am sad to say that he does not know his grandmother very well. Jade on the other hand has my full attention,
receives all the love I can give her. We miss out on so much when we are in the grip of compulsive
gambling.*************CONGRATULATIONS!!! to all those who will be celebrating a milestone over the next few days
YAHOOOOOOOOO clap clap clap. Even if only one day, pat yourself on the back, every day away from the bet is a triumph.
Welcome (((DAVE OF WASHINTON))) Tie the knot and hang on tight for the ride of your life. (((DAL B))) Hang in there, nothing
is worth going back out there. THIS TOO SHALL PASS. (((TRACEY))) YOU are sooo WORTH recovery. Please stop beating my
friend Tracey up.....smiles. AND THE DAY CAME WHEN THE RISK TO REMAIN TIGHT AS A BUD BECAME MORE PAINFUL THAN
THE RISK IT TOOK TO BLOSSOM - Anais Anin. (((SASHA))) Happy to see you attended a F2F meeting. I am sure most people
will agree with me that GA meetings are very important. As much as I love the HUB I still need my meetings. To see the faces
of my fellow travellers, the pain of the newcomer and the peace and serenity of the old timers, and to receive the real life
(((HUGS))) keep me grounded. I also feel very much a part of, being with people who understand me and me them. Off now
with a skip and a hop (((JONI B))) to get ready for work. Much love and great big bear (((((((HUGS))))))) to each and everyone
of YOU. God bless until we meet again, YOU are all in my heart and in my prayers, YSIR DOwn Under, Mary. QUOTE FOR THE
DAY: JUST DON'T GIVE UP TRYING TO DO WHAT YOU REALLY WANT TO DO. WHERE THERE IS LOVE AND INSPIRATION (THE
HUB) I DON'T THINK YOU CAN GO WRONG - Ella Fitzgerald.

From: Sydney Australia
E-mail: lollylady@operamail.com
Last Day Gambled: 20th July 1999
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Hub Posts Friday 3/7/03
Friday, 3/7/03, 10:55 PM

((((SHASHAS LIST))))just simply love you people:) each of you are in my Prayers tonite..for restful nite..and Dreams of a
Wonderful New Day to come:) ysir,love JoniB


Wilma Friday, 3/7/03, 10:41 PM

Hello everyone.Wilma here a CG grateful to be in recovery ODAAT. Thanks to all all, my HP and GA. I was so busy today that I
just finally finished reading all the post and answered some e-mails. When I got home this evening check the mail box and my
credit card year end summary was there. I opened and saw all of the transactions was mostly cash advances at the casino. Few
hundreds for shopping and dining but thousands for the casino. Oucccccccch it hurts so bad. Enough to give me a stomach
ache. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to
know the difference. Have to put that one behind. There are talks today about Bingo. I have friends who plays bingo but for me
it is boring so I don't know if I get addicted to it. I know it is also another form of gambling so I don't go. Have to stay away
from gambling establishment. But I have friends who plays mahjong. I don't know if anyone here is familiar with that. Almost
all my friends play mahjong. Everytime I get invited to a friends party there is always mahjong. Most of the time they play for
money and sometimes just plain entertainment. I don't know how to play it and a friend offered to teach me at one time but I
refused because I don't want to take time away from the casino. I think mahjong is consider gambling but some friends say no,
so I am not sure. CONGRATULATIONS to all celebrating milestone today and my prayers to all who still suffers. Thank you all
for listening and thanks to your post. Welcome newcomers. Have a gamle free evening all. Love, Wilma

From: Arizona
E-mail: wilma102102@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 10-21-02


Okiemaw Friday, 3/7/03, 10:37 PM

((((BrendaR))))...I love ya, girl, and you are so right! There are too many casinos. It just means we have to fight harder. There
are people that can gamble normally, though and they should have that right of freedom. I can't blame the casinos for my
addiction, because I have been addicted to other things before the casinos came along. Being an addictive person is my
problem, not the casinos problem. They do exploit it and take advantage of my disease...only if I let them. We just can't let
them. It is a personal choice we have to make for ourselves. Just think.. If all the CGs in the world never made another bet it
would probably hurt the gambling industry a little, but not enough to shut them down. They are too strong. We just have to
work to make ouselves and GA strong, too. I can't get rid of the casinos, but I can refuse to let them feed my addiction and
ruin my life. Yep...that's what I'm gonna keep doin. Wish I could go to the meeting with you in the morning, just can't afford it
yet. YFIR...Diana

From: Oklahoma
E-mail: okiema@brightok.net
Last Day Gambled: 1/29/03 ODAAT


Jennifer Friday, 3/7/03, 10:09 PM

Enjoyed the evening with my parents. Just hung out and grilled some burgers (it it's above 50 degrees, I send hubby out to the
grill). ~~~ DELORES, hang in there! If you've had urges off-and-on all week and haven't fallen off the wagon, you're in pretty
darned good shape. You have a great LDG ... starting a new year and new life on the same day. ~~~ Here's an idea for those
of you struggling with the idea of placing a bet. Take just 20% of what you would typically lose in a day (be honest with
yourself) and put it in a cookie jar. Keep doing that each time you get an urge. It really adds up. ~~~ TRACY, you're no more
an outsider here than anyone else. :) We're all a fine group of folks who need to tame the beast known as compulsive
gambling. ~~~ BRENDA, telling our spouses of our errors in judgment is not an easy thing to do, but when you finally get it out
in the air, it is such a relief. No more stressing out ... just put it on the table and set your goals for correcting the problem. I
wish you the best. ~~~ I'm off to bed. Looking forward to JONI's meeting tomorrow ... always a wonderful way to start my
weekend!

From: Missouri
E-mail: jennifermo@kc.rr.com
Last Day Gambled: 3/06/03 -- the last day of my old life


Janie J Friday, 3/7/03, 10:07 PM

Good evening or is it almost a new day of being clean from this horrible addiction..but as i was reading tonight on this site I get
such a warm and cozy feeling that even if some of us a having a bad day there is someone else telling us how they made it a
good day. i guess this is what is called living in the real world,accepting things for what they are and not questioning everything
that surrounds our moods. I having one of those nights were I can't seem to get settled in my own skin..no thoughts about
gambling just not comfortable. i know that today I spoke to my brother-in law who is having a serious medical problem and i
guess i would love to say to him it's going to get better but when the dr's tell him nothing will change with the movement of his
hands that this is what it is I guess I am angry that he won't be able to live a normal life in the true sense of the word. then I
look at my husband who has had so many life threating surgeries and his attitude the last few days is very silent and i can't
seem to make any sense of his mood other than he is feeling his own mortality or scared that the job search is getting slimmer
and slimmer each day. i know deep down in my heart I can't fix any of their feelings but it amazes me how frustrated I am that
I can't make it better for either of them. did you ever wonder if the hp sometimes decides to take a vacation and wants each of
us to work things out in own ways.. i guess i am feeling very lost and confused this evening. i had a good day at work, made it
a positive and productive day yet i am at loss of why i am so sad this evening hopefully getting to my ga meeting tomorrow
morning will give my some we ll needed spirt and serenity . Sorry if i have been on the pity-pot but there are days when you
just feel like crying for no reason at all and this is my day. But, i know that i will get it together and reach out to my ga family
in the morning to get out of this somber and crappy mood. i guess i need to go back and look at some of steps that i have
written so long ago and start re working them..both of my sponsors were out for the evening so i grabbed my phone list and
left a lot of voicemail on people's machines..i really tried to reach out tonight maybe this is my hp telling me to turn it over to
him for this evening and let it go... oh i asked last night if someone would direct me into the chat room..please i keep getting
booted out or the site just shuts down..can someone e-mail me the proper procedure to follow. i promise i will behave myself in
the room.LOL anyway i think i have let it out and i need to go to sleep and dream a lot of good thoughts for myself and i hope i
didn't bring anybody down..i just needed a little help from my friends..see ya in the morning and i will be in a better mood, i
promise.. have a great tomorrow..with love and hugs to all Janie J.

From: Woodridge,IL
E-mail: Jwj728@aol.com
Last Day Gambled: 4/29/97


BrendaR Friday, 3/7/03, 9:28 PM

p.s.s. One more thing. Gambling RUINS lives.I pray everyone here has a gamble free day tomorrow. I know I will.Peace&love
be with you.

From: Okla
E-mail: BrndMudd@cs.com
Last Day Gambled: 2-15-03


Lloyd T. Friday, 3/7/03, 9:25 PM

Hmmmm. Thanks for pointing me to Jim A's recovery site. Kinda curious to what "Rocking Recovery" is. Good night been a long
day. Sleep in on Saturday? Naw, I'm looking forward to our first 40 degree day tomorrow. Suntan lotion anyone? LloydT

From: Mich


BrendaR Friday, 3/7/03, 9:23 PM

P.S. Gambling is illegal in Oklahoma but the Indians that own the bingo halls have figured out a way to make it happen.
somewhere on that slot machine is an electronic bingo card, so they say you are playing bingo and the screen is just
entertainment! Just pleasing to the eye. We have class B gambling, not like a real casino. BULL.If it walks like a duck,talks like
a duck, it IS a duck. They are trying to pass a bill to get the lottery here. People I talk to say they don't see the harm. It would
benefit our schools. I work for the school system. I say, if you wouldv'e told me a year ago that I would be in this position, I
would've said no way. And look at me. So I am opposed to the lottery coming to Oklahoma. Also it would give the indians a
way to open class A gambling.
From: Okla
E-mail: BrndMudd@cs.com
Last Day Gambled: 2-15-03


BrendaR Friday, 3/7/03, 9:02 PM

Hello Hubsters!! Just wanted to put my two cents in on the bingo thing. If you have to ask yourself, should I, or shouldn't I, you
already know the answer!! Bingo never did it for me. I was a slot machine junkie.I'm getting real close to 30 days. My sponsor
said that's the easy part. he says 60 to 90 days are the testers!! Lord give me strength. I still haven't opened up to my
husband yet about the financial part. Lord, give me double strength!! The days are getting easier. Just want to clean up some
of my mess before I tell him. Talked to my sponsor today, GA meeting in the morn. He says we are going to work on character
changes. OH MY GOSH. This could take some time cause I have alot of those defects in the book!!(()) to Sasha's list. All have a
good night,ysir

From: Okla
E-mail: BrndMudd@cs.com
Last Day Gambled: 2-15-03


Sasha Friday, 3/7/03, 8:58 PM

((((((DEB D))))) Thank you for sharing your thoughts!! YSIR Melissa

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


Night HUGS and Prayers to the HUB Family and CGS across the World Friday, 3/7/03, 8:55 PM

(((((AletaE, Amber, Andy-sydney, AnitaA,, Ann, Anna, AnnaC, Arnie W, Audrey, Barb, Barbara-Rella, BeckyB, BevR, Brandy,
Brenda , Brenda A, Brenda R, Brett, Cali, Cole, Colleen, Carole, CarolynK, Charlie K, CharlieP, Chatcat,Cindy D, Cindy H,
CindyW, Collette, Curtis L, Dal B, Damaris, Dan, Dave,Dave- Wash.DC, Dboy,DC, Dean, Deb B, Deb D, Deb G, Del, Delores,
Denise, DennisP, Dina, Don C, DonnaC, Dr. Jim, Dodger, Dorothe, Doug L,Emjay,FEO, Fiddler,GaryK, GeneK, Gordon D.
Gramers, Howie C, Jake A,Janie J, Jaybird, JayL, Jennifer, Jeannie, Jim A, Jim K, Joeanne, John H, John M, JoniB,Josie, Jude,
Karen, Kat, Katielyn, Kathy, Kathy S, Ken, Ken F, Kinnon, Lanie, LdyQP, Lenett, Lily , Linda C, Liz, Lloyd, Lu S, Madge, Maggie,
Marc, Marie, Mark, Mark M, Marty, Mary, Mary J, Marym downunder, MattW, Max H, , Melissa- sasha, Michelle, Miranda, Nance,
Nancy M, NICKY, Nita, Okiemaw, Pat L, Patty, Paula, Pete,Purdell, Rachel, Ramona, RandyM, Ray H, ReneeB, ReneeC,
Rich_DET, Richr, Robert, Robin H, Rose, Sal, Sandy, SandyK, Scott, R, Skogie1999, SharonJ, Sheila L, Sheryl, S Jane, Sorry,
Suzanne, Sue, SusanP, Steve, Steven, SylviB, Tara, Tino (sidepocketkid), Tna-Tina, Todd, Tom P, TomS, Tracy, Valorie, Vel M,
VickiB, Vida, Wayne, Williamk, Wilma, Ymg/Ymg, Zanna, OUR LOVED ONES and EVERYONE))))) <158>

Last Day Gambled: ONE DAY AT A TIME- PEACE OUT


Deb D. Friday, 3/7/03, 8:03 PM

Just dropping in for some evening reading and thought I would like to share my thoughts about the Bingo thing...thas where
my gambling days started. I was at a place & time in my life where almost every hour of everyday was given to taking care of a
dear aunt...not much time for me, my own family or my husband at that time. One night he suggested I go out for a few hours
to a local Bingo game...what fun it was...I experienced laughter and took comfort in knowing that I was doing something just
for me. I had just lost my dear Mother of Gods' choice and now I can see how vunerable I was to escaping. That one night soon
multiplied into 3 nights a week, then four, then somewhere I bought a scratch ticket...one lead to two and then more...always
needing more to give me that contented feeling of having enough action and excitment...then one day I dropped some money
into a slot machine...that feeling soon returned only to be squashed by feelings of never winning big enough..by then I had
pushed back whatever true feelings I had and allowed myself to feel nothing but whatever my gambling gave me...the shame,
the lonilness, the guilt. I'm so thankful that my HP laid the path for me t find GA...it was a long road to get here and accept the
fact that the road to recovery and a good life will be never ending. I'm thinking back to that very first night of gambling..Bingo
started it all for me but I pray I'll finish my days with GA. Take care...just felt I wanted to share...hmmmm...alot of babblin'
here but what the heck, some of my best thoughts have come from nothing but a silly one liner. Sending prayers for a peaceful
night to all. YSIR, Deb D.

From: Denver, Colorado
E-mail: debbies_music@hotmail.com
Last Day Gambled: 4/14/01


Friday, 3/7/03, 6:27 PM

A NEW LIFE - From Bill Sees It, Grapevine, December 1957: Is obstaining all that we are to expect of a spiritual awakening?
No, obstaining is only a bare beginning; it is only the first gift of te first awakening. If more gifts are to be received, our
awakening has to go on. As it does go on, we find that bit by bit we can discard the old life--the one that did not work--for a
new ife that can does work under any conditions whatever. Regardless of worldly success or failure, regardless of pain or joy,
regardless of sickness or health, or even of death itself, a new ife of endless possibilities can be lived if we are willing to
continue our awakening, through the practice of the Twelve Steps.


Friday, 3/7/03, 4:48 PM

Dear Tracy, the only way to not feel like an outsider is to JUMP in, literally, that is the way to do it, I just watched Oprah and it
was on girlfriends, and that you have to work your part..things don't JUST HAPPEN..just like here, jump in, it really works, that
is it for me today,,,,have a great evening, hugs, Carole:)


Delores Friday, 3/7/03, 4:31 PM

Hi! I'm sitting here trying to figure out why I feel the way I do.....I think I'm trying to control everything around me, because
there are so many things out of control....like people, places, and things. Always comes back to the serenity prayer. I can only
change me..... Work hasn't been fun for a couple of weeks, I'm letting people bother me. My family has been bugging me. I feel
overwhelmed, and at the same time, I don't know what to do with myself, if that even makes sense. I need to give this all to
God, and not take it back. And remember he knows what he's doing better than I do. (((TRACY))), I just read on this great
recovery site (((CAROLE, THANKS I LOVED IT!)))), that had lots of sayings that were wonderful. One was "we are powerless
not helpless". Maybe that will help. Powerless means to me, that when I gamble, I'm powerless over it, it has power over me.
I'm not helpless though. I can put up roadblocks so that I don't gamble, attend meetings, connect with rcg's, get a sponsor......
I'm realizing I don't have enough connections for myself though, and need more. That's why F2F meetings are my desire right
now. I don't want to gamble....but the light obsessing is starting again.... I think I need to get more out of myself, and more
into others, I'm still keeping myself isolated a lot.... some times I just feel so alone..... I'll get to bed early tonight though, and
that's usually what I need for a good Attitude Adjustment, a good night's sleep! I'm so glad I can keep coming in here and
reading! Thank You All for being here! YSIR Delores

From: Twin Cities, MN
E-mail: mntoots@msn.com
Last Day Gambled: 1/1/03
sasha Friday, 3/7/03, 4:29 PM

awww(((TRACY))) so good to have your ladies group support. AND we can have a PARTY HERE TOO!!! have a CHAT PARTY FOR
YOU NOT GAMBLING! yeah yeah, what do you all think? hehehehe ((JOHN M)) WOW, that is very surprising!! Even after you
told the administrator that!! For someone, who is working their recovery, that is very shocking to hear. And you had the
courage to share that with her..Thank you for sharing that story. All the posts have been great with regarding this situation.
haha, I dont think lottery tickets are anything for me to buy either....BUT HAHA luckily I have not bought any since 1/21/03
because the amount wasnt high...LOL and that is the only reason I did not buy them! Is there really no compromise at all? NO
NO, but you know what I mean. I still have to go back to AA and Drug rehab...the item of choice is alcohol and drugs. Mine is
knickle machines.....not bingo, lottery, cards etc..BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU ALL MEAN..it is a bet and a gamble...so if you win
some money, you may then be tempted to fund your casino habit..that sure does make sense. I still need to work this thing a
bit more...thank you, melissa

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


Tracy Friday, 3/7/03, 4:00 PM

Hiya HUBBER FOLKS. Special thanks to {{{{{{{SHASHA, JENNIFER}}}}}}}} for your inspiration to at least keep me coming
back. Great urge to gamble today b/c work was soooo hard and stressfull. I don't know how I am going to handle the job I love
now that I can't gamble. Had a my ladies group last night and feel like an ousider; much as I do here. With hammer and chisle
they have tried to get me past Step 1. To no avail. I have tried everything but I can't accept my helplessness, not completely
and not always. I made a deal with them not to gamble while I travel next week and in turn we are going to have a little party.
No party if I gamble. I liked that b/c then I did not have to decide and moan and groan about it. I am just not going to. Thanks
to all the HUB POSTS for giving me good thoughts.

From: st louis
Last Day Gambled: 3/3/03


John M Friday, 3/7/03, 3:58 PM

The poem didn't post very well. send an email to webmaster@gafriends.org and I will email you a better copy A memory
popped up when I read the post about raffles. I never buy tickets but I always make a contribution to the cause. The little girl
next door was selling raffle tickets for her school. I told her I didn't want the tickets but I would contribute $10. The principal
called me the next day saying they would have to return my $10 because they weren't allowed by state law to accept
contributions. I was aghast. They could sponsor gambling but not take gifts. I told her to send my $10 back but I couldn't buy
raffle tickets because I was a compulsive gambler. She said that raffles weren't gambling if it was for a good cause. I said
gambling is gambling no matter the cause.

From: Albuquerque
Web Site: NM GAfriends
Last Day Gambled: 12 Oct 98


Dave Of Beckenham Friday, 3/7/03, 3:55 PM

My name is Dave I am a compulsive Gambler and will be till the day I DIE! Today was a good day. Did not fail to temptation to
have an 8 item breakfast. Even mum suggested I had a bacon sandwich? LOL. A nice chat with her. I have been filled with a lot
energy lately. A real passion to get things done. Got 2 boxes packed weighed labeled. Shirley found herself being amazed how
quickly things are changing here. I think even me. You know it feels good to do good and feel it afterwards. Pain levels have
been high but bearable. I was thinking out of all the things most of the stuff packed is mine. Need to speak to Shirley about
that. I am not happy with her cheating herself. Spoke to young man in shop yesterday asked how he was doing. Even shared
my working experiences. Did not tell him I had 47 jobs thought that would be to much. I have also looked back and done sheet
with locations time and names. In doing so brought back memories. Some good some bad. There was some one commenting
on webb they were going to talk to headmasters wife, her husband sat and talked to me about me knocking out a kid for calling
me liar. That rage was in control in those days!!! Any way talked me through it. Made me think. I think he is the first person in
school who did not beat the s..t out of me. I was use to pain but nt used to some one talking to me as one to one. New
experience that one. After that took more responsability for my actions. Still got into trouble over silly things, but did not hurt
any one. Strange talking to brothers one of which I tried to strangle, he was going blue his brother had to cut his tie to enable
him to breathe. And not one of them remember the event? All these years guilt and worry. Called to apologise and what you do
not remember? How come? LOL. Spoke to one brother on two calls and we chatted like mates it was incredable healing for me.
Yes I can laugh now. Only because I let go of fear and faced responsabiity. Some times sorry is easy. But once you get into
practice of doing it, it puts closure to guilt and makes you feel mature. Even able to laugh at yourself some times. One holiday
went to Calgary in 1992 to celebrate recovery and had bet in casino in stampede ground. Yet it took days to admit what I had
done. Then on getting back to UK could not go straight to meetings had to have another week at self abuse. Certainly ruined
celebration exercise. Well time flies. Shirley feels she is not doing her bit, but as I explained she is going to work. Not like some
layabouts? Yes she was delighted how things are coming on. Had another 2 electrical problems to rectify today. I thought I had
given up work. I am fearing seeing people viewing our home. I think it is a trust thing. We are loosing out on currency
exchanges at the moment. But worrying is not going to help me. Tried to tie up all data stored it is nightmare. It would be so
much easier to have dvd writer but they are expensive I cannot justify it at this time. Oh that warm weather is calling me. I am
not going to rush from San Diego if it is as good as they say? Well I need to stay focused on today. Even though wet damp it
was a good day. I feel I have done the walk. Faced responsability, only cussed twice. And Shirley smiled at me when I tried to
wind her up. She said so you think you are clever? LOL. Lost points there? LOL. Her smile does me good. Love to you all. Dave

From: Uk For Now!
E-mail: gadaveuk@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 1992 August


John M Friday, 3/7/03, 3:48 PM

One of our members wrote this for her 1 year anniversary G is for the grace with which old timers speak A is for the aid the
new ones seek M is for the many times we¿ve gathered B bonding as each one mattered L is for the love with which we gather
E is for everyone ¿ we all matter R is for respect and being someone to admire S for serenity ¿ to which we all aspire A is for all
of us in this room tonight N stands for no ¿ we won¿t give up the fight O we say it one more time N is for never ¿ never bet one
dime Y yet when the urge to win rears its head M ¿meetings make it¿ is the phrase that must be said O over and over we
repeat the phrase U unless we¿ve all been in a daze S Sent to you with love from Judy D.

From: Albuquerque
Web Site: NM GaFriends
Last Day Gambled: 12 Oct 98


sasha Friday, 3/7/03, 3:45 PM

WHAAAAA, was on chat, had to get phone and then saw that everyone left! LOLOLOLOLOL love you all

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


Genek Friday, 3/7/03, 3:28 PM

Hi all, Genek here a coompulsive gambler,who came to the hub in July 2002.Looking back I now know that I was a compulsive
gambler for many years.But as all good:) CGs do, I had rationalized that it was just a fun thing to do.How easily we are able to
deceive ourselves. We could have taken cruises to exotic ports,spent $$ on season tickets to Broadway shows or box seats at
sport stadiums to watch the NJ JETS football.(just a plug for NJ LOL) Thru necessity,more important ways to spend $$ as we
raised and college educated four children,my gambling was put "on hold".Then in 1980 casinos came to Atlantic City,and my
descent into the den of the BEAST had begun..Sure loved all those comps.,the hotel suites that I spent so little time in,the
exclusive(DUH LOL) clubs with complimentary meals and drinks that I had already invested in!!I once won$4000k, and lost that
and more may times. Then,I puchased my first computer-had no idea what I was doing on it,except I sure learned fast how to
find the internet casinos.:)They were my descent into the hell of gambling.And only ,with relying on my HP, did I admit to being
unable to control my gambling. The question of Bingo came up on posts today-mine were lottery ticket that I had bet the same
nos. on for 20 years.My hubby had always purchased them-that is where it is today.So be it. The hub, all of you have given me
so much ES&H, compassion and love that I can only hope and pray that I can return it t o all the new hubbers. Love
and((((Sasha,s Big Hugs))) for all. Genek

From: NJ
E-mail: Kgene1923@aol.com
Last Day Gambled: 1-28-2003


Delores Friday, 3/7/03, 3:01 PM

Good Evening All! When I first started recovery, I suddenly realized all the things that I did that were gambling, that I had
never thought about! Some I wasn't even crazy about....like some of you mentioned...Bingo wasn't my choice either, and like
you said...BORING! But it's gambling, and what if it triggers my other gambling. I could see myself winning the big jackpot, and
getting up and driving to the nearest casino..... I just can't do it. Scratch Offs were never a choice either, but I can say, when I
go buy cigerettes, they are at the counter.... and occassionally I've thought about them, and they were never something I got
excited about before.... For some reason today, I have gambling on my mind....my mind can be a miserable place to be some
times. The last couple of weeks, I've been getting light urges off and on.....but I'm fighting them off. Today I'm tired, and when
I'm tired my mind isn't as good. Tomorrow morning there's a GA Meeting I wanted to go to, now they are saying 3-6 inches by
snow in the morning. But I'm going to go if the roads are cleared at all, I really need it. I watched 2 of my lovely
granddaughters this afternoon, one is 7 months and one is 3 years old.....I just love them so much, they are just sooo sweet.
You all have a wonderful evening! YSIR Delores

From: Twin Cities, MN
E-mail: mntoots@msn.com
Last Day Gambled: 1/1/03
D Friday, 3/7/03, 2:47 PM


Amber Friday, 3/7/03, 2:34 PM

There will be a meeting tonight in the chatroom 6:00 P.M. Eastern Time for anyone wanting to attend!!! See Ya there!

Last Day Gambled: the last day of my old life


sasha Friday, 3/7/03, 2:07 PM

((Jennifer)) wow, I wish I knew about the hardship thing...I am so glad you mentioned that...just in case I have a hard time
finding a job (if I get impacted) I may need to turn to that to lower my interest, etc...Jenn, I KNOW how it feels with the calls
and I do not think getting caller ID is a wrong thing..I HAVE IT! hehehe I too was beside myself and DID NOT want to talk to
anyone...I felt like a hunted animal or criminal...nights were filled with cold sweats, unease and loneliness...I wish there was
some one like YOU and this HUB during that time. I cannot look at the past, but man, it sure would have relieved so much pain
today. However, I needed to go through what I did...only because I needed to learn a hard lesson. Always had to learn that
lesson. ((EVERYONE)) just read all the posts regarding the bingo thingy....It all makes sense, what you have all written. And I
wish I would STOP being a STUBBORN headLOLOL. It is a part of my recovery to learn from you all. Thanks, Melissa

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


sasha Friday, 3/7/03, 1:55 PM

WOWOWOWOW after I posted my thoughts, I saw all your posts!!!! What I wrote was right after I read ambers...cool, let me
go read!!!

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


sasha Friday, 3/7/03, 1:48 PM
((AMBER)) Just read your post. I too feel and felt the same about Bingo. I do not consider this any addiction for me because I
truly am not interested in going all the time. It is hard because my mom goes and I know that to go with her once in a while
gives us time to bond...I want to spend more time with my mom. I have not gone to bingo yet. But part of me is this, I know it
is not an addiction for me, but if I do go, I have to change my LGD and that would be too hard for me to do. However, if I do
go, I know in my heart the LDG. Does that make sense? Mom also likes to invite me to go to Tahoe and Laughlin NV. She
gambles, but is not a CG like myself. I know that I should not go to tempt myself and have not gone with her. But I do worry
about her on the road. And I know that if I go, I will not gamble, but that my hub family will worry. SO as we go through our
recovery, we are faced with real life challenges like this. For me, not to make that bet is at the casino....the knickel machines.
the card tables, lottery tickets, bingo are not my game. Sometimes I do get confused about it all. And that is why I think CG is
a tough illness....because in AA you have one thing you cannot do- drink alcohol, in drug recovery you have one thing you
cannot do- no drugs. In GA you have a slew of things you cannot do in your recovery..and perhaps that is why they say this is
a tough illness to battle. Therefore in my recovery, I do what will work for me. If I end up going to bingo with my mom, I will
share this with you all. I am not at ALL trying to go against or defy my fellowship with you all or GA. I suppose I konw what
caused me pain. And there may be the belief that if I play bingo it may turn into something as compulsive as the casino
playing. I really do not think I will play bingo because for me it is SOOOO BORING!!!!! LOLOL Just wanted to write out my true
feelings about this situation. One thing is this, I am responsible for my own actions and I certainly have no plans of falling into
the hole that I have created. But, this is an interesting topic to talk about and I would love to hear your opinions....you know,
not a discussion from the yellow book or blue book, but our own thoughts..I am sure Amber and I are not the only CG's that
think about this..perhaps someone that shares something may hit me the right way and give me the ability to look at it in a
different light. Thanks for allowing me to share. ((Lloyd)) So love seeing you post brother!!!! Love YSIR Mels

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


Friday, 3/7/03, 1:47 PM

Thanks Tom, I too had to adjust to this raffle business...now, if someone is raffling for kids or cancer, I just give them money,
they look at me and smile..some try to insist I put my name on the ticket, I just say, this is a donation thank you..and it works,
my husband is not a cg..another story..he won a huge chocolate bunny and gave it to our godson..I felt ok, I had nothing to do
with his buying the ticket..we have to also use some common sense..having a great day..hope you all are as well, going out for
dinner and a movie, take care and be safe...Carole


AnnaC Friday, 3/7/03, 1:32 PM
Hi ((Amber)) I think you made the right decision especially if you were questionning it yourself. I too had a similar experience. I
have been wanting to have a fun hobbie w/friends for some time and I was finally invited to join a bonco group (dice game
some play for money some for prizes.) I was so excited to be invited to play I immediately said yes, then I too had to call and
say no. Of course all of the ladies wanted to know why not and I had to explain I was trying not to gamble. Once I said that
they immediately understood. But yep, I too am sad that I coudn't join in on the fun. I am finding it very very very important to
try and replace my old habits (gambling) with new ones that I enjoy. We need to do that I think. Maybe ask your daughter if
she would rather go to a movie or out to dinner or for a walk or shopping or for a drive? I don't know...it is very very hard but I
just thought I would share w/you my experience just in case it might help?

Last Day Gambled: 12/2/02


Tom S Friday, 3/7/03, 1:29 PM

Amber- page 14 of the combo says it very well: DOES THIS MEAN I CAN'T EVEN PARTICIPATE IN A LITTLE PENNY ANTE GAME
OR A WORLD SERIES POOL? It means exactly that. A stand has to be made somewhere and Gamblers Anonymous members
have found the first bet is the one to avoid, even though it may be as little as matching for a cup of coffee. I faced a similar
situation when attending a school carnival with my daughter. She asked me to go on the cake walk with her. I thought about it
and then decided if I was to recover I needed to follow the guidelines of the program and heed the wisdom and advice of those
who had written our literature. Although this was an activity that didn't approach "my" definition of gambling it was gambling
by the definition of the program. I needed then, and many times after that, to surrender my will and my actions to one of my
HP's, the GA 12 step recovery program. I congratulate you on recognizing the seriousness that even a small amount of
gambling can cause. Also in a very quiet but effective way you started to 12th step your daughter. To show her you are
working on change and that you are willing to be open about that change with those around you. Neat stuff. Keep on keeping
on!!! In love and fellowship. Tom S. mandanwibau@msn.com

From: Minneapolis, MN
Last Day Gambled: 5/3/92


Jennifer Friday, 3/7/03, 1:29 PM

SASHA, you crack me up. I just love your spirit! ~~~ Good advice on dealing with the credit card companies too. I was
probably wrong to suggest caller ID. I just know, when I was in that spot, that there were some days I knew another collection
call would send me over the edge. Ask if they have a hardship program. Sometimes they will let you make smaller payments
for 3-6 months, lower your interest rates, and then consider your account up- to-date after that. It sure doesn't hurt to ask,
right? ~~~ AMBER, bingo has been discussed here before. I never had a problem with bingo either. I usually went just to keep
a friend company but have steered clear since I quit gambling (okay the first time I quit gambling in November). GA tells us to
not even bet such much as a cup of coffee. I'll be curious to see what others say. I'm off in search of groceries. Have a great
weekend!

From: Missouri
E-mail: jennifermo@kc.rr.com
Last Day Gambled: 3/06/03 -- the last day of my old life


Lloyd T. Friday, 3/7/03, 1:25 PM

Hello hubbers! Congrats for all those who come here and share and/or lurk! For today is a new day full of things to do other
than gamble. I remember back to a time when my thinking was "I had to gamble." I couldn't let go. I was reluctant to stop
because the "big win" was coming. Hmmmm. I thought that if I stopped I would miss the action (and a really big score!). But
thank goodness today for the realization that I CANNOT win it back. ITS GONE. Thanks to the "Towards 90 Days" booklet for
helping me understand this. My whole week points to Friday, as this is the day of my f2f meeting in my area. Those of you that
know me know that there is no other meeting here in SW Mich with 50 miles of the Kalamazoo area. So I look forward to Friday
as a part of my plan for continuing recovery. Our group is small and has 5 regulars now. Today I'm grateful for our fellowship
and growth of the group, both f2f and online. Lurking and sharing on the Hub has been a good complement to the weekly f2f
meeting. I'd like to share a comment from an older member. He gave me this tidbit when I brought up the topic of
"personalities" within our group. He said, "What other people think of me is none of my business." How profound. It helps me
because I spent alot of my "old life" worried about what others thought of me. I could even be called a people-pleaser. I was
worried about everyone and everything EXCEPT ME. Thank goodness for for friends like this in the fellowship to help me
understand me. Congratulations to one and all for TODAY. Welcome Chatcat and hugs and love to all.~~~~~~~I'll be back.
LloydT

From: Kazoo, Mich
E-mail: kislloydt@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 12.04.01 (and not today!)


Amber Friday, 3/7/03, 1:00 PM
Hi ((All)).......Just got home from work and I thought I would share something that happened today........Earlier today, my
daughter invited me to go to bingo with her tonight and at first I said..."Yea - I'd love too!".....I havn't been to bingo in sooooo
long. Then shortly after, I realized that I CAN'T go to bingo because it would be gambling! I was soooo upset, and I caught
myself thinking that it was totally unfair. I've never had a problem with bingo....I'm not addicted to it! Playing bingo isn't
something that I do often...three or four times a year, if that, but it has been an activity that my daughter and I have enjoyed
together. Much like going to see a movie. Anyways, after I had thought about it, I told her that I couldn't go. She was very
understanding without me having to go into great deatil about it. Anyway, the whole issue has sent me for a loop and I thought
I would ask you all your opinion on this matter.......ysir Amber

Last Day Gambled: the last day of my old life


Jim A. (gr8_move@yahoo.com) Friday, 3/7/03, 12:39 PM

Hello everyone ~~~ Many thanks to (((((Okiemaw))))) and (((((Cindy W))))) for adding their thoughts and ideas, experience,
strength, and hope to a ROCKING RECOVERY! scrap-book. ~~~~ Keep the Faith & Enjoy the Journey! ~~~~ Peace.

From: Davison (City of Flags), Michigan
E-mail: gr8_move@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: January 23, 1996


sasha Friday, 3/7/03, 12:04 PM

Hello HUB Family: Congratulations to those having a milestone today...and that means all of us, for one more day is our
milestone. ((DEB B)) such a heart felt post...bless your heart and thank you so much for sharing this with the HUB famil.
((NICKY)) so glad to see you and read your post!! You are working it. ((ANN)) I KNOW how you feel about the calls...what I will
share is my own experience. I too recieved those calls....well, if they come from the credit card company, than you can still call
back and talk with them....a few of my cards actually went to a collection company and that is different and much more
serious. NO I am not trying to scare you, BUT I DO NOT WANT ANYONE TO GO THROUGH WHAT I DID. I ignored calls for three
or more months, UNTIL the third party collection company called..and things really got serious. Instead of asking me to pay for
the past dues and minimums, I had to pay the FULL BALANCE..the was 19k...9k on american express (I had a balance on the
travel portion) and 10k on the optima card. I was in worse shape for IGNORING the calls. I would have rather been beat up a
little from the credit card company, then pay out the full balance. WHAT I HAVE BEEN TOLD is this- most credit card companies
will give you a 90 day reprieve....I dont know if the two months that have already past is already included in this 90days, you
should find out. 2nd, make what ever payment you can....let me know this is what you can do right now....AS LONG AS YOU
MAKE AN EFFORT to work with your credit card company, you may be able to avoide what I faced...I only wish I found this HUB
earlier...perhaps I could have avoided the pain I went through. I was lucky, I was able to pay the balances in full. I do not
recommend anyone IGNORE your creditors...it only GETS WORSE...BUT I CAN TOTALLY UNDERSTAND DOING IT BECAUSE I
DID TOO...BUT...I WAS REALLY SLAMMED for it!!! If you have a trusted friend or family member, perhaps they can sit with you
as you make this dreaded call to the companies calling you....or have that person on a three way call with you.....it does help
to have someone with....I ONLY WISH I DID THIS!! I hope this helps you feel more confident to call these people back.....it only
gets worse if you continue to ignore them...I JUST CANT HELP IT...I REALLY DONT WANT ANYONE TO GO THROUGH WHAT I
DID!!! Love ysir Melissa

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


Daily HUGS and Prayers to the HUB family and CGS across the World Friday, 3/7/03, 11:43 AM

(((((AletaE, Amber, Andy-sydney, AnitaA,, Ann, Anna, AnnaC, Arnie W, Audrey, Barb, Barbara-Rella, BeckyB, BevR, Brandy,
Brenda , Brenda A, Brenda R, Brett, Cali, Cole, Colleen, Carole, CarolynK, Charlie K, CharlieP, Chatcat,Cindy D, Cindy H,
CindyW, Collette, Curtis L, Dal B, Damaris, Dan, Dave,Dave- Wash.DC, Dboy,DC, Dean, Deb B, Deb D, Deb G, Del, Delores,
Denise, DennisP, Dina, Don C, DonnaC, Dr. Jim, Dodger, Dorothe, Doug L,Emjay,FEO, Fiddler,GaryK, GeneK, Gordon D.
Gramers, Howie C, Jake A,Janie J, Jaybird, JayL, Jennifer, Jeannie, Jim A, Jim K, Joeanne, John H, John M, JoniB,Josie, Jude,
Karen, Kat, Katielyn, Kathy, Kathy S, Ken, Ken F, Kinnon, Lanie, LdyQP, Lenett, Lily , Linda C, Liz, Lloyd, Lu S, Madge, Maggie,
Marc, Marie, Mark, Mark M, Marty, Mary, Mary J, Marym downunder, MattW, Max H, , Melissa- sasha, Michelle, Miranda, Nance,
Nancy M, NICKY, Nita, Okiemaw, Pat L, Patty, Paula, Pete,Purdell, Rachel, Ramona, RandyM, Ray H, ReneeB, ReneeC,
Rich_DET, Richr, Robert, Robin H, Rose, Sal, Sandy, SandyK, Scott, R, Skogie1999, SharonJ, Sheila L, Sheryl, S Jane, Sorry,
Suzanne, Sue, SusanP, Steve, Steven, SylviB, Tara, Tino (sidepocketkid), Tna-Tina, Todd, Tom P, TomS, Tracy, Valorie, Vel M,
VickiB, Vida, Wayne, Williamk, Wilma, Ymg/Ymg, Zanna, OUR LOVED ONES and EVERYONE))))) <158>

Last Day Gambled: ONE DAY AT A TIME


sasha - Continued Friday, 3/7/03, 11:41 AM

Continued~~~~~~~and mels, you have always been there for me, and during my darkest time, you were standing right by
my side and saved my life... we are family'. The bond we have is very special...and I am grateful that he is in my life. Someone
here mentioned the poem about friends being our angels...well Mike is one of my angels and I love him dearly. I am sleepy
now..thank you for letting me share..love YSIR. S

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


sasha Friday, 3/7/03, 11:39 AM

Wrote this last night..just posting today ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello HUB Family: (((Jennifer))) you are back up and will KO this disease...ding ding ding as the bell rings...Round one and
Jenn swings a left upper hook....blam,right under the disease, disease hits the floor...counting, 1.....2.....3.....its OUTTA
HERE!!! Just hope this puts a little smile on your face!!!(yea yea I know...I can be weird sometimes LOLOL)((okiemaw)) You
KO'ed your disease ...way to go.((chatcat)) WELCOME and so happy you are here. Read a lot of great posts today....prayers,
gratitude to the fellowship, support to those in pain and reinforcement that this recovery does ROCK. My heart goes out to
those in pain....I know so well the feelings you have....however you are all here working the program. Hang on for the
training....youre in boxing bootcamp right now.....the tools that are available to you during this time will train you to be in tip
top condition to fight this disease. You will learn how to KO this disease....sometimes you may have to go several rounds...but
the coaches are here and in GA...they will wipe your tears away, supply you with food for thought, pick you up, ease your pain,
support you, hear you, hold you, give you strength and confidence to continue your fight against this disease...and before you
know it, you will wear that championship belt.....because we are all CHAMPIONS.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Today I am very very blessed. I sent that
email about the loan repayment to my best friend Mike. I have known Mike for over 11 years....he is my exfiance's childhood
friend...Mike and I are like brother and sister. We have been through a lot in our lives together. Well, tonight, after he read my
email, he called me. He is a pilot and just got in around 10pm. He called at 10.30 and we talked until 1.50am. Mike is very
protective of me, however I was very stressed because I have been working on paying him back the 7k he lent to me because
of the mess I put myself in..we had not been in communication for a while..and I was stressed because I did not want him to
worry about me repaying him. Mike called because he was worried about my welfare!!..but I told him that I am doing
great....and if I get impacted at my company, I will be okay. I told him my main focus is to make sure he wasnt stressing out
about my repayment to him. And what he shared with me, had me tear up...to know that I am that loved by him. I would like
to share this with you, he is a wonderful friend and such an outstanding person. he said 'Mels, I know you...I never worry or
think about the repayment, because I know you have a lot of integrity and loyalty...and you arent the type that would screw
anyone....to be honest, if that ever did happen, I would throw up my arms and give up on mankind" LOLOL he made me laugh
when he said that....but mostly, he made me cry. I am so blessed and never knew he felt that way about me. He gave me so
much confidence...his words were like arms being wrapped around me..to comfort me and help me feel at ease. He has bought
a home, but did not tell me because he did not want me to stress about paying the money back quickly or feel guilty and sad
for have asking him for his help. He was actually more worried about me rather than the money. He taught me well
tonight...money is just money...friendship and love are not measured by the money. When I asked him for help, it was the
most painful thing I have ever done...but he always tells me..."mels, of course I am going to help you, you are my best
friend..and I know you just made mistakes and got yourself in this mess...I would never abandon you just because you ran into
a problem. AND I know you are working it everyday and will succeed and get back on your feet,,and mels, you have

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


Jennifer Friday, 3/7/03, 11:22 AM

Wow, DEB, what an honest share today. Thank you for trusting us with your pain. That's what I love about this place. It's full of
unconditional love and acceptance. ~~~ NICKY, way to fight through your urge today. Proud of ya! ~~~ If we can just tell
ourselves, "I won't place a bet for an hour" and keep repeating that, all goes well. ~~~ ANN, I know about those collection
calls. If you don't have caller ID yet, it's a good investment for these times. Those calls can sure wear on you. I would try to be
polite and explain our situation and then get some moron with a bad attitude telling me I was a deadbeat (NOT TRUE ... I'd
paid my bills on time for 17 years). I quit answering the phone. It wasn't getting me anywhere but more discouraged. ~~~
Well, I did something I didn't want to do today. I sat down and entered my bills in Quick Books. Even received a nice surprise --
a $120 credit on my phone bill. Conquering those tasks that may my stomach queasy makes me know I'm making progress. :)
~~~ Here's a poem that Jay shared with me that I thought I'd post for the newcomers. It's called "I AM ADDICTION." I am
addiction. I start in small subtle ways, promising many things. I promise you enjoyment and pleasure beyond your wildest
dreams. I deliver guilt and despair, more horrible than your worst nightmare. I promise you power and courage. I gave you
feelings of powerlessness and hopelessness. I will force you to live in fear always. I promise you relief and escape from all your
daily problems. I create for you greater problems than you ever imagined. I promise you many friends. I allow only isolation. I
promise happiness. I create much sorrow. I will steal from you your dignity, your families, your friends, your children, our
homes, your dreams, your spirit, and your life. For love, freedom, and happiness are impossible to find in my presence. So
never underestimate me. I am devious and manipulating. I have no preference as to who I pick as my victim -- rich or poor,
young or old, black, white, yellow or red. I have killed men, women, and children. I have no conscience. So, if you have met
me, always beware if you think you can bet me, that I will be gone from your life, and all will go well. Again never forget that I
will always be there, waiting in the dark shadows just around the corner. I am very patient and I will laugh in your face if I can
lure you into my evil word of Hell on Earth once again. I am addiction.

From: Missouri
E-mail: jennifermo@kc.rr.com
Last Day Gambled: 3/06/03 -- the last day of my old life
ANN Friday, 3/7/03, 11:11 AM

I KNOW I ALREADY POSTED BUT THOUGHT I WOULD AS IF ANY ONE WOULD BE INTERESTED I BEING MY SPONSER I DONT
HAVE ANY MEETINGS FACE TO FACE IN MY AREA I WISH SO MUCH WE DID I NEED A SPONSER PLEASEEEEE. BUT I COULDNOT
HAVE GOT TO MY 3 WEEKS MONDAY WITHOUT MY PRYERS TO MY GOD HP HE IS HELPIN ME BUT MY NERVES OVER MY BILLS
MUST ALSO WORK ON THAT BUT ANYWAY COULDNOT HAVE DONE THIS FAR WITHOUT ALL OF YOU EITHER I SO ENJOY
READING POSTS I WISH THERE WAS NEVER ANY GAMBLING TO HAVE TO MEET THIS WAY BUT AT LEAST LET US SAY WE ARE
SURVIORS OF THIS THANK YOU

From: N.
E-mail: DAHLIA3@AOL.COM
Last Day Gambled: FEB.24-03


ANN Friday, 3/7/03, 11:00 AM

WELL HERE I AM IT WILL BE 3 WEEKS MONDAY GAMBLE FREE I AM STARTING TO FEEL A LITTLE BETTER ABOUT MYSELF BUT
STILL PUT OFF ANSWERING THE PHONE FOR BILL COLLECTORS I HAVE TO GET THE NERVE UP AND SEE IF THEY WILL
UNDERSTAND I AM 2 MONTHS BEHIND ON CREDIT CARDS AND LOANS I WILL GET BACK ON MY FEET AGAIN ITS JUST TRYING
TO COME UP WITH THE WORDS TO SAY WHEN I ANWSER HAS ANYONE GO ANY SUGGESTIONS FOR ME?I AM 41 BEEN OUT OF
WORK ON LTD FOR 3 YEARS WENT FOR MY SSD HEARING LAST WEEK I HAD 3 INSUCSESSFUL ARM SURGERIES HAVE NERVE
DAMAGE HAD A SPINAL FUSION IN NECK STILL HAVE ALOT OF PAIN AND HAVE HERNIATED DISCS IN BACK MY PAIN
MANAGEMENT DR. FINALLY TALK ME INTO SEEING PHYCOLIGIST TO HELP DEAL WITH THE PAIN I HAVE BEEN 4 TIMES BUT
BEEN TO EMBARRASSED TO TELL ABOUT THE GAMBLING ADDICTION SHE MENTIONED THURSDAY ABOUT NEXT WEEK
HYPNOSIS I TOLD HER I WILL THINK ABOUT I NEED TO TELL HER ABOUT MY ADDICTION JUST DONT KNOW WHAT SHE WILL
THINK ISNT PATIENT AND DR. ISSUES BETWEEN THEM? ANYWAY IT WOULD BE NICE IF SHE COULD HYPMITIZE ME AND DO
AWAY WITH ALL MY URGES AND NEVER THINK ABOUT GAMBLING AGAIN THAT IS PROBABLY WISHFUL THINKING.ANYWAY
THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING HERE FOR ME YOU JUST DONT KNOW HOW MUCH YOUVE HELPED ME ANN TRYING TO RETURN TO
A NORMAL LIFE THANK YOU

From: N.C
E-mail: DAHALIA3@AOLOM
Last Day Gambled: FEB.24-03
Nicky Friday, 3/7/03, 11:00 AM

I just needed to express how much an inspiration your posts are here. I have been through this vicious and what has seemed
endless circle for the last six years of my life. I know that you have been there too...About a half hour ago I had the urge to go
and gamble and then I signed on here and a huge release has overcome me because deep down I did not want to go. I wanted
to escape but do I really want to be broke in about 15 minutes thinking of any way possible to get more money to gamble with-
well not today. And after all that is all I need to make it through, this moment this day with the grace of my HP and the support
and strength of your messages I know I can do this. I try to always think now anyway of the end result of gambling where it
has taken me and the deperation and fear- play the end results and I must be crazy to have been gambling that long...it's like
begging to be hit by a semi-truck. Congratulations to all those who have made today a gamble free day- you are in my
thoughts.

From: NV
E-mail: Mauigirl27@aol.com
Last Day Gambled: 02/25/2003


Deb D. Friday, 3/7/03, 9:44 AM

Good morning to all you wonderful hubbers...I'm a RCG and so thankful. Doing abit of reflecting on where I came from and
where I am today. I came from a badly broken home & family, was pregnant to 15 1/2, have had several bad relationships that
have been filled with all kinds of abuse, been raped at gun point, my 2 daughters have been sexual abused (not once but
twice), have lost through death the most important person in my life,and the list could go on, ran to hide from my problems
through this terrible addition we call compulsive gambling, left my home & children to begin a new life for me, not only in a new
town but in a new country where the only people I knew (and they were few) were many miles away. I had so much anger and
resentment built up inside of me that I couldn't even recognize it any more...it was just a way of life. Today I have left go of
the anger, thus left go of the resentments...all through working this program. I try not to be a complainer so even listing some
of the tormoil that has been a part of my life is hard for me...guess I just wanted to give some of you an idea of where I am
come. I'm now remarried to someone who couldn't love me more...met him on the DOMLB..true we have our daily problems
dealing with money issues but it's so great knowing that none of them are caused by my gambling. I have shared some of our
problems with a few and want to share that I face each day with a new found faith in my HP, which is God for me. Things just
don't look so dark today..hubby goes to gamanon, not because he has any horror stories about my gambling but because he
sees what kind of joy is in my face after a meeting and he wants to be part of my life, and my life is recovery and the program.
I don't push my faith verbaly on him, but through my actions it rubs off on him. Perhaps the job he wants or needs is just
around the corner, perhaps my answers to getting my papers completed are within arms reach, perhaps my problems and
prayers won't get answered today, but thats ok with me...you see I've learned to be alittle more patient...when the time is right
it will come. Just keeping my faith today and I know for me, the rest of my recovery will follow. Take care my fellow S&B in
recovery...making today the best it can be. YSIR, Deb D.

From: Colorado
E-mail: debbies_music@hotmail.com
Last Day Gambled: 4/14/01


jaybird Friday, 3/7/03, 9:30 AM

hey chatcat sorry i missed you in the chatroom, was away for a few min,s will go back in room, maybe catch you there,


Jennifer Friday, 3/7/03, 9:24 AM

Baby steps is what it is all about, HELEN. Just hang close. We're all in this together. ~~~ The following is Oprah's Quote for the
Day. Thought I'd pass it along. "Before you speak, ask yourself: Is it kind, is it necessary, is it true, does it improve on the
silence?" ¿ Shirdi Sai Baba, Indian saint

From: Missouri
E-mail: jennifermo@kc.rr.com
Last Day Gambled: 3/06/03 -- the last day of my old life


Chatcat Friday, 3/7/03, 9:22 AM

Hi all, my name is Helen and I am a compulsive gambler. Today is day 3 on my journey and its a great day, I'm alive and I'm
bet free for the 3rd day!!! I made it back here and feel I am gaining strength from all of you. I am taking baby steps....baby
steps

Last Day Gambled: 03-04-03
AnnaC Friday, 3/7/03, 8:43 AM

Good morning all. I just wanted to touch base and provide a web address for career support that might help those looking for
employment tips http://www.ajb.org/ Also, at this site you can locate career tools through a career infonet and locate
employment resources by state. I do recommend that you find the nearest employment office to you and go in in person and
register and find an employment counselor you are comfortable w/and trust will assist you will all possible career leads and
training leads. You may even qualify for training programs pd by your state or federal govt. There is no fee to use the resource
centers that often have computers loaded w/resume programs and many job search tools. Some centers even provide you
w/free phone calls to conduct your job search. Once again I do recommend you go in person as posting you resume on-line
may not be as helpful as working directly w/a counselor in your area.--Hope some of you might find this address
http://www.ajb.org/ helpful. Let me know if you have any questions...Anna

From: NV
Last Day Gambled: 12/2/02

jaybird Friday, 3/7/03, 8:27 AM

morning the bird is back from his migrations, and what a trip it was, cindy,s place, to the conference, then to jennifers, long
plane ride, butt sore, and got a ticket just afew miles from getting home. happy to tell you that it didn,t upset me, was polite to
the officer, and he cut me alot of slack, would have been a whole different story if that cop stopped me afew years ago when i
was comming back from one of my vegas, or reno trips, and it sure felt good for Patty to complement me on how i handled the
traffic stop this time vs, pre recovery days, that made me feel very good, took any sting i had over the ticket away, smiles.
(once again patty said she sure likes the new improved bird)progress not perfection, WOW TO BIG MILE STONES, LINDA T 5
YEARS AND CAROLE 1 YEARS, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, AND JONI CARTWHEELS. TO YOU GALS SO PROUD OF YA. LOVE THIS UNITY.
WE A HECK OF A BUNCH, SO MUCH LOVE TO SHARE WITH EACH OTHER. SO MANY BRO,S, AND SIS,S I HAVE YET TO MEET.
TOUCHING EACH OTHERS LIVE IT WHAT IT,S ABOUT FOR ME. LOVE YA ALL CAN;T DO THIS WITH OUT YA. SO GREATFUL TO
HAVE YOU IN MY LIFE, WELCOME ABOARD. YBIR, JAYBIRD

From: port angeles, wa
E-mail: srchief@prodigy.net
Last Day Gambled: 1/18/01


Friday, 3/7/03, 8:17 AM
YAHOO to all reaching a milestone, 13 days is awesome Sue, and Sandy, one day, one week, one year, all important, heck
those first days are it:) Carole


Carole Friday, 3/7/03, 8:15 AM

ITS A NEW DAY!! Carole here, a recovery compulsive gambler, suffering with a real "love" hangover, feels fabulous:) never in a
million years anticipated the day I had yesterday, the complete polar opposite of the day I came here to the HUB..when I type
in each morning It' A New Day..I mean it with all my heart, and have since 1986, when I came to know the Lord, and
experienced the power of the 12 steps...there has been tons of real life crap since, but like Dr. Schuller says, turn your scars
into stars..you don't get joy unless you have emptied yourself of your own ego, just the way it is...when I first started to post
here, in the beginning only a precious few would answer an email or reach out..hence my passion to reach out was born, I have
always been empathetic, but this year, it was imperative I try to at least mail one person..at least one when I thought
necessary, yesterday was so overwhelming, each and every person I ever was in touch with, wrote me or said something
publicly, it was very embarrasing, cause I am not one to seek "attention"...I just love the 12th step. My very dear and beloved
trusted friend, warned me early on, if you put yourself out there Carole, you will get some mean letters, just shake them
off..and for sure I did receive hate mail, but thank God for the delete button, yesterday proved to me that speaking your truth,
from the heart, wanting the best, being empathetic, had great rewards beyond the imagination, you reep what you sow..God is
so good, and I just love you all, even those who wish I would just go away, love you more:) ((Chatcat)))fabulous, step 1, the
big ONE>> (((Okiewaw))he will come around, takes time:) ((SUE)) that was a very spontaneous prayer to try and show some
appreciation for the day, my HP takes credit, have fun today:)((DAL)))good going with the boss((CindyD))great attitude.
BALANCE..my test..keep things simple, peace and joy and love, Carpe Diem, Seize Teh Day..yeah Gary, your sister in recovery,
Carole....have a safe and bet free week-end:)

E-mail: carols136@rcgsite/org
Last Day Gambled: march 6/2002


Pete T. Friday, 3/7/03, 8:15 AM

Good Morning to Everyone.... It has been a long time since I was last here with my family. In January I had my fourth surgery
in 12 months...a total left knee replacement....all is well now and I am looking forward to returning to work on a full time
schedule. The events of the past few months would have been a trigger for destruction in the years that I walked everyday with
the BEAST. But now that I make my choice each day...that for today there will not be any bets...and that I trust my HIGHER
POWER completely...there are no longer any problems that trigger the days of hell from years gone by. Hugs and smiles for all
who celebrate a milestone today...take care and be safe my friends...you never walk alone...I am you. Pete

From: Great Barrington, Mass.
E-mail: masterchef_masterchef@hotmail.com
Last Day Gambled: 4/20/01


Charlie P Friday, 3/7/03, 7:51 AM

Charlie P here a RCG. Taking the baby steps one day at time. Not counting my days now as each day without a bet is good for
me...Jennifer, so glad to see you did come back. Yes, there is so much unconditional love here and within the rooms of
GA.....So good to seeing so many attending f2f meetings. I am getting back into my routine of f2f contact also. I cannot
procrastinate over attending f2f meetings. Its not good for my overall mental health and my serinity. I did get many emails
telling me to be sure that I concentrate on my recovery first. All will fall into place in time. Getting complacent in recovery kinda
creeped up on me like the disease did. I guess I can anylize the crap out of what happened, but I think its more important to
dive back into the program head first. Hopefully all the reasons will surface at some point as I continue to work through the
steps again. I do have to remember that this is a life long journey and have to stay with it...Congrats to all the milestones, and
welcome newcomers. Hope we all have another day gamble free. YBIR Charlie P

From: Live in Mississippi
E-mail: cp044@bellsouth.net
Last Day Gambled: 2/23/03


Jennifer Friday, 3/7/03, 7:35 AM

Just like at the conference last weekend, the love on this Hub is overwhelming! Thanks to so many of you who sent your
support via e-mail, cards, and messages yesterday. {{{MARIE, OKIEMAW, CAROLE, CINDY, JANIE, CAROLE, SUE, JONI,
SASHA, AMBER, VICKI B., DELORES, ANNA C., JAYBIRD, AND VAL}}} It's like correcting a child. If you do it with love and
forgiveness, the child will want to change their ways. Smack them upside the head, and they'll show you just how BAD they can
be. Since meeting some of the other KC GA members last weekend, I think I will try a f2f meeting on Sunday. Can't hurt, right?
I'm ready to move forward with my recovery once again. ~~~ HELEN, I enjoyed sharing the meeting with you last night. Step
1 is a big one. I'm glad you made it in your heart yesterday. Stay with us. It works! ~~~ Thanks again to everyone here for
sharing your ES&H. We're all different but suffer from a common disease. Together, we can heal. Remember, we are all just
one bet from disaster. :)
From: Missouri
E-mail: jennifermo@kc.rr.com
Last Day Gambled: 3/06/03 -- the last day of my old life


S Jane Friday, 3/7/03, 7:02 AM

Been 1 solid week, no poker machine, no urge to even go. Guess I"m still in the shock stage from the last time. My conscience
won't let me gamble. My HP won't let me gamble. Finally understanding my higher power, and a few people helped me out on
that one. I'm flipping back and forth between the first 2 steps, still a little leery right now on moving to quickly to step 3. Would
like to thank (( Carole )) and (( Becky )) so much for replying to my message about sponsorship. I understand that even being
accountable to someone on a regular basis could be just as good for me right now. Thank you so very much. I feel better inside
my heart today. Not so depressed and down on myself. I can't wait for the day where I can concern myself more with others
than worrying about myself. Thank you again everyone for posting and giving me something to ponder on each time I come
here. You are a wonderful group of people and I'm grateful to all of you.

E-mail: sandy72269@yahoo.ca
Last Day Gambled: Feb 28, 03


S Jane Friday, 3/7/03, 7:00 AM

Been 1 solid week, no poker machine, no urge to even go. Guess I"m still in the shock stage from the last time. My conscience
won't let me gamble. My HP won't let me gamble. Finally understanding my higher power, and a few people helped me out on
that one. I'm flipping back and forth between the first 2 steps, still a little leery right now on moving to quickly to step 3. Would
like to thank (( Carole )) and (( Becky )) so much for replying to my message about sponsorship. I understand that even being
accountable to someone on a regular basis could be just as good for me right now. Thank you so very much. I feel better inside
my heart today. Not so depressed and down on myself. I can't wait for the day where I can concern myself more with others
than worrying about myself. Thank you again everyone for posting and giving me something to ponder on each time I come
here. You are a wonderful group of people and I'm grateful to all over you.

E-mail: sandy72269@yahoo.ca
Last Day Gambled: Feb 28, 03
Cindy D Friday, 3/7/03, 6:24 AM

Morning all.....been really reflecting this week, after becoming unemployed on Monday. But the support and love I have
received from each of you and the strength of my HP, has me adding to my grateful list. I have been blessed to have people
who care about me and support me without conditions. -----Jennifer------- Loving ya sis, wishing we were closer,
geographically, so that we could walk this recovery path together, side by side. Think f2f meetings would do both of us a world
of good, after experiencing the f2f love and sharing at the KC conference. Congrats to all the milestoners today and a big
"HELLO" to all the newcomers. YSIR, Cindy

From: Kansas
E-mail: duffyschat@holtonks.net
Last Day Gambled: 10/28/02


rich r Friday, 3/7/03, 6:14 AM

Good morning. Rich R, compulsive gambler. Welcome to all who come here, we hope you stick around for awhile. Some of us
are drawing great strength from this website. (In fact, I was wondering to myself yesterday, how many people are abstaining
from gambling by JUST coming here, i.e. no face-to-face GA meetings or professional help). Anyway, as they say 'keep coming
back'! ~~~ Today is a fairly exciting day for this retired guy. This morning I am going to visit a homebound GA member
(recovering from a broken ankle). And then tonight starts a weekend conference for another fellowship that I belong to. It is at
the Troy (MI) Marriott (see link below http://www.aa- semi.org/Level1~pages/calendar.html) Who knows, maybe I'll see Jim A
there for one of the keynote speakers!!! (even tho Jim isn't an 'official member'). ~~~ Lastly, I'd like to encourage Lloyd T to
continue to journal and post. It is wonderful to see a guy so young really trying hard to work this program! I wish I could have
gotten involved 20 or 30 years ago instead of in 1991, but whatever! ~~~ I'll be back :-)

From: detroit
Web Site: March Round Up
E-mail: richr121500@yahoo,com
Last Day Gambled: 121500


Dal B. Friday, 3/7/03, 5:19 AM
Good Morning, Well, an update. I got boss alone and we both apologized for losing tempers. We both realize that the pressure
from above is making us nuts and we both agreed to try and still the temper and speak clearly. +++++++++++++++ New
worker is going at it full bore and we're happy she's getting the system down. Yes, have to work today, so shopping is off till
sunday. But hey, I still get a couple days off. :) (VENT WARNING) I am getting a bit tired of the "Ditech" home loan crap. I
know a couple of people who have taken loans from them and they then reamed their cards again. If this keeps up, they'll hurt
themselves so badly, they'll never recover. It's strange, I feel sorrow for them (And myself too sometimes) and hope they
realize that CUTTING the cards and living at a lower level is NOT a bad thing. Well, all for today..Half day of work, then home to
relax. Have a good day all (((((HUGS))))) Dal (Relieved) B.

From: Vancouver, WA
E-mail: dalbert_b@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 12/31/02


Vicki B Friday, 3/7/03, 5:01 AM

Today's thought is: "Some days I feel like a tightrope walker." - Jeannette N.- "We all perform a balancing act, trying to keep
perspective on what's important and what is not. Sometimes we fall: crazy drivers cut into our lane; the supermarket line takes
forever; the baby's crying. At those times a minor insult at work or a cross word from a friend is just too much, and we lose our
cool - and our balance. During our years of active addiction we were impulsive, living in an all-or-nothing, black-and-white
world, completely out of balance. Minor slights became major issues. We were subject to any whim our distorted thoughts
cooked up. We've had lots of practice being out of balance, so we have to work harder to regain it, but now we have the tools
to change. Our program gives us a new focus, reminds us of what's important in our lives. We're reminded, too, of our
powerlessness over people, places, and things. These ideas are new to us at first. We thought we had to control everything and
everyone around us, and so we failed. But now we're learning how to keep our balance, and recover it when we've lost it. With
practice, we'll get better every day. Now, we're learning how to let go and let God. Today help me remember what's important.
Help me keep my balance." [In sharing, Vicki B., 10/11/02. Grateful for this new day. This day holds possibilities and
opportunities, it is my choice how I pursue them, or just wizz thru the day, too busy to focus. So I take a deep breath and
slowly exhale. Praying to know and do God's will throught this day. May I keep balance by doing so. Wishing all milestones a
hearty congratulations. A special ((((Hub Hug))) to each of you!!!]

From: MI
E-mail: human53@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 10/11/02
Friday, 3/7/03, 4:58 AM

Date: Fri, 07 Mar 2003 Today's thought is: Live and let live is good advice. The more comfortable we are with the knowledge
that each of us has a unique journey to make, a specific purpose to fulfill, the easier it is to let other people live their own lives.
When family members are in trouble with alcohol or other drugs, it's terribly difficult to let them have their own journey.
Because we love them, we feel compelled to help them get clean and sober. In reality, all we can do is pray for their safety and
well-being. Their recovery is up to them and their Higher Power. For some of us it's a leap of faith to believe there really is a
Divine plan of which we are all a part. And perhaps it's not even necessary to believe. But we'll find the hours of every day
gentler if we accept that a Higher Power is watching over all of us. Being able to let others live and learn their own lessons is
one of our lessons. The more we master it, the more peaceful we'll be. I have enough to do just living my life today. I can let
others do what they must. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Today's meditation comes from the book A Life of My Own by
Karen Casey copyright 1993 sharing..ysir, love JoniB


sue Friday, 3/7/03, 4:48 AM

I've just read the posts again...so I will make a correction ((Carole)) thanks for the beautiful prayer from yesterday. Chatcat -
Keep up the good work...I have been trying to get through Step 1 now...for me, it means working it everyday. To anyone
celebrating a milestone today CONGRATS!!! thinking of you ((Marie)) and ((Anna)). Sasha - thanks for the daily hugs!!!! sue

Last Day Gambled: 02/22/03


JoniB Friday, 3/7/03, 4:45 AM

A recovering gcg..a Fresh New Day..awwwwe..going to take on the day..hug the gals at work..just because..my son is at his
cousins..smiles..going to handle what I can in my Day..leave the rest to my HP (GOD))he likes that..and be Grateful to be Alive
this moment in time..yeppers..going to Enjoy, feel the goodness around me..soak it up..share it.and be kind to me..take a noon
walk with a dear friend..laugh..love to tease these people.and they sooo love teasing me tooo..yeppers..going to be a
gooodie..Choices..love having them..good ones for me:)Congrats All milestoners..and ((((SHASHAS LIST))))your are Precious
in Gods EYES:):)mine too:):) love you precious People..Have a Most Wonderful DAY..k..cuz you ARE!! Make your Day a
GOODIE:) and be reallllll kind to you:) off to make my Day..with a skip and a jump..and that "Undeniable SMILE":):) ysir, love
and hugs JoniB
From: Nebr
Last Day Gambled: 7/08/00 Grateful


Patty Friday, 3/7/03, 4:36 AM

Morning All. Congrates to all who are celebrating a birthday..! T-day is a good day for me and coming on here each morning
helps me stay in recovery... Yesterday I had the day off..and to be able to relax and enjoy a day off doing nothing is a miricle
for me..Before i always felt I had to be doing something..otherwise I felt no good.. T-day to be able to sit with ME is
wonderfull.. Thank you all for listening to me.. Patty.....

From: Irealnd
E-mail: oconnorpatti@hotmail.com


Friday, 3/7/03, 3:35 AM

Good Friday morning everyone! It's been a tough couple of days - Very Busy - yet fighting lots of thoughts and urges to
gamble...13 Days today (AMEN) Todays is my sons 13th bday - coincidence???? Don't like the number to much but it must
mean something ha? He woke up this morning to a nice home made breakfast of waffles, and fresh fruit with yogurt - A
breakfast fit for my small King!!!! Carole and Linda - I didn't get to post yesterday but (((( )))) on your milestones. You are
AWESOME! Keep up the great work. I can only pray that someday I can see and celebrate that kind of time clean. Another
snowstorm last night here in New England. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!! I need it to be spring so I can get the heck out of this house
and start my gardening. I really look forward to that because that has always been one of my hobbies that I love to do. Busy
day today - My daughter has her Big formal dance tonite - gotta take her to get hair and nails done today...I am grateful that I
was able to do for her this week and not gamble away the money that we are spending on a dress, shoes, etc. Thank you
everyone for yesterday's shares. The poem (i forget who posted it) yesterday was beautiful!! Well I am off to start my busy day
and then to my meeting tonite (I definitely need it!!!) (((Thinking of all of you from the hub))))....sue


Friday, 3/7/03, 3:19 AM

Reflection for the Day...It's time for me to realize that my attitude-- toward the ife I'm living and the people in it--can have a
tangible , measurable, and profound affect on what happens to me day by day. If I expect good, then good will surely come to
me. And if I try each day to base my attitude and point of view on a sound spiritual foundation. I know it will change all the
circumstances of my life for the better too. Do I accept the fact that I have been given only a daily reprieve that is contingent
on the maintenance of my spiritual condition? Today I Pray..Since my illness was spiritual--as well as emotional--may I mend
spirituallly through daily contact with God. May I find a corner of quiet within me where I can spend a few moments with God.
May God's will be known to me. Today I will Remember..To spend a quiet moment with God. sharing ..A Day at a time..GA The
HUB


Friday, 3/7/03, 3:12 AM

The HUB would like to Congratulate All thoe reaching another Milestone!!MyraF 1-7-96..Marilyn H. 4-7-99 TLT. 7-7-01..John H
2-7-02..Worried in Lachine 6-7- 02..Jan L 11-7-02..Spiro 2-07-03..CLAP CLAP CLAP ThankYOU for your ES & HOPE!!!
CELEBRATE "TODAY"!!!


Okiemaw Friday, 3/7/03, 1:54 AM

Hi All!! I've been here, but haven't posted for a few days..Way to go all you "milestoners". "It Works"...((Jennifer)) you are a
very brave, wonderful, generous, and intelligent person and you will make it...((Chatcat)) welcome to the family... ((JimA))
Great "Rockin Recovery" site...love Star Wars, especially Chubakka!...((Sister Okies)) thanks for checking on me...All the
wisdom, support, and comfort I get from ALL you Hubsters make it easier for this sick RCG to stay on my recovery journey.
Thank you...I had a rough start to my week. Tuesday Hubby and I got crossways over our money problems..not my gambling
debts..just our regular bills. Old resentments and guilts came back to the surface and it wasn't pretty. Some of the things he
said hurt me very deeply. He's been very supportive, but he just doesn't understand this disease. He is stressed out over the
financial situation and vented on me. He apologized, but the damage was done. This really tested the strength of my recovery,
but it did not break it!! I've had to do a lot of praying and reading and thinking the last couple of days to sort all this out in my
head. I've reached out to some of my brothers and sisters in recovery and found the support and guidance I needed. I've done
a whole lot of "cleansing" (crying). I know my HP has a plan and I will follow his lead. I think our money problems are
manageable with His help. I am also looking for a job, with His help. I will need one to pay my debts anyway. I have tried to
share this faith with my husband, but I guess he is just not ready. He is a very stubborn "old poot" but I do love him. We've got
26 years together next month. I pray we can get through this. The good news is .. all the "cleansing" got rid of the headache
I've had for the last several weeks. hehehe ((Sasha))...YFIR...Diana

From: Southern Oklahoma
E-mail: okiema@brightok.net
Last Day Gambled: 1/29/03 ODAAT
jaybird Friday, 3/7/03, 8:27 AM

morning the bird is back from his migrations, and what a trip it was, cindy,s place, to the conference, then to jennifers, long
plane ride, butt sore, and got a ticket just afew miles from getting home. happy to tell you that it didn,t upset me, was polite to
the officer, and he cut me alot of slack, would have been a whole different story if that cop stopped me afew years ago when i
was comming back from one of my vegas, or reno trips, and it sure felt good for Patty to complement me on how i handled the
traffic stop this time vs, pre recovery days, that made me feel very good, took any sting i had over the ticket away, smiles.
(once again patty said she sure likes the new improved bird)progress not perfection, WOW TO BIG MILE STONES, LINDA T 5
YEARS AND CAROLE 1 YEARS, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, AND JONI CARTWHEELS. TO YOU GALS SO PROUD OF YA. LOVE THIS UNITY.
WE A HECK OF A BUNCH, SO MUCH LOVE TO SHARE WITH EACH OTHER. SO MANY BRO,S, AND SIS,S I HAVE YET TO MEET.
TOUCHING EACH OTHERS LIVE IT WHAT IT,S ABOUT FOR ME. LOVE YA ALL CAN;T DO THIS WITH OUT YA. SO GREATFUL TO
HAVE YOU IN MY LIFE, WELCOME ABOARD. YBIR, JAYBIRD

From: port angeles, wa
E-mail: srchief@prodigy.net
Last Day Gambled: 1/18/01


Friday, 3/7/03, 8:17 AM

YAHOO to all reaching a milestone, 13 days is awesome Sue, and Sandy, one day, one week, one year, all important, heck
those first days are it:) Carole


Carole Friday, 3/7/03, 8:15 AM

ITS A NEW DAY!! Carole here, a recovery compulsive gambler, suffering with a real "love" hangover, feels fabulous:) never in a
million years anticipated the day I had yesterday, the complete polar opposite of the day I came here to the HUB..when I type
in each morning It' A New Day..I mean it with all my heart, and have since 1986, when I came to know the Lord, and
experienced the power of the 12 steps...there has been tons of real life crap since, but like Dr. Schuller says, turn your scars
into stars..you don't get joy unless you have emptied yourself of your own ego, just the way it is...when I first started to post
here, in the beginning only a precious few would answer an email or reach out..hence my passion to reach out was born, I have
always been empathetic, but this year, it was imperative I try to at least mail one person..at least one when I thought
necessary, yesterday was so overwhelming, each and every person I ever was in touch with, wrote me or said something
publicly, it was very embarrasing, cause I am not one to seek "attention"...I just love the 12th step. My very dear and beloved
trusted friend, warned me early on, if you put yourself out there Carole, you will get some mean letters, just shake them
off..and for sure I did receive hate mail, but thank God for the delete button, yesterday proved to me that speaking your truth,
from the heart, wanting the best, being empathetic, had great rewards beyond the imagination, you reep what you sow..God is
so good, and I just love you all, even those who wish I would just go away, love you more:) ((Chatcat)))fabulous, step 1, the
big ONE>> (((Okiewaw))he will come around, takes time:) ((SUE)) that was a very spontaneous prayer to try and show some
appreciation for the day, my HP takes credit, have fun today:)((DAL)))good going with the boss((CindyD))great attitude.
BALANCE..my test..keep things simple, peace and joy and love, Carpe Diem, Seize Teh Day..yeah Gary, your sister in recovery,
Carole....have a safe and bet free week-end:)

E-mail: carols136@rcgsite/org
Last Day Gambled: march 6/2002


Pete T. Friday, 3/7/03, 8:15 AM

Good Morning to Everyone.... It has been a long time since I was last here with my family. In January I had my fourth surgery
in 12 months...a total left knee replacement....all is well now and I am looking forward to returning to work on a full time
schedule. The events of the past few months would have been a trigger for destruction in the years that I walked everyday with
the BEAST. But now that I make my choice each day...that for today there will not be any bets...and that I trust my HIGHER
POWER completely...there are no longer any problems that trigger the days of hell from years gone by. Hugs and smiles for all
who celebrate a milestone today...take care and be safe my friends...you never walk alone...I am you. Pete

From: Great Barrington, Mass.
E-mail: masterchef_masterchef@hotmail.com
Last Day Gambled: 4/20/01


Charlie P Friday, 3/7/03, 7:51 AM

Charlie P here a RCG. Taking the baby steps one day at time. Not counting my days now as each day without a bet is good for
me...Jennifer, so glad to see you did come back. Yes, there is so much unconditional love here and within the rooms of
GA.....So good to seeing so many attending f2f meetings. I am getting back into my routine of f2f contact also. I cannot
procrastinate over attending f2f meetings. Its not good for my overall mental health and my serinity. I did get many emails
telling me to be sure that I concentrate on my recovery first. All will fall into place in time. Getting complacent in recovery kinda
creeped up on me like the disease did. I guess I can anylize the crap out of what happened, but I think its more important to
dive back into the program head first. Hopefully all the reasons will surface at some point as I continue to work through the
steps again. I do have to remember that this is a life long journey and have to stay with it...Congrats to all the milestones, and
welcome newcomers. Hope we all have another day gamble free. YBIR Charlie P

From: Live in Mississippi
E-mail: cp044@bellsouth.net
Last Day Gambled: 2/23/03


Jennifer Friday, 3/7/03, 7:35 AM

Just like at the conference last weekend, the love on this Hub is overwhelming! Thanks to so many of you who sent your
support via e-mail, cards, and messages yesterday. {{{MARIE, OKIEMAW, CAROLE, CINDY, JANIE, CAROLE, SUE, JONI,
SASHA, AMBER, VICKI B., DELORES, ANNA C., JAYBIRD, AND VAL}}} It's like correcting a child. If you do it with love and
forgiveness, the child will want to change their ways. Smack them upside the head, and they'll show you just how BAD they can
be. Since meeting some of the other KC GA members last weekend, I think I will try a f2f meeting on Sunday. Can't hurt, right?
I'm ready to move forward with my recovery once again. ~~~ HELEN, I enjoyed sharing the meeting with you last night. Step
1 is a big one. I'm glad you made it in your heart yesterday. Stay with us. It works! ~~~ Thanks again to everyone here for
sharing your ES&H. We're all different but suffer from a common disease. Together, we can heal. Remember, we are all just
one bet from disaster. :)

From: Missouri
E-mail: jennifermo@kc.rr.com
Last Day Gambled: 3/06/03 -- the last day of my old life


S Jane Friday, 3/7/03, 7:02 AM

Been 1 solid week, no poker machine, no urge to even go. Guess I"m still in the shock stage from the last time. My conscience
won't let me gamble. My HP won't let me gamble. Finally understanding my higher power, and a few people helped me out on
that one. I'm flipping back and forth between the first 2 steps, still a little leery right now on moving to quickly to step 3. Would
like to thank (( Carole )) and (( Becky )) so much for replying to my message about sponsorship. I understand that even being
accountable to someone on a regular basis could be just as good for me right now. Thank you so very much. I feel better inside
my heart today. Not so depressed and down on myself. I can't wait for the day where I can concern myself more with others
than worrying about myself. Thank you again everyone for posting and giving me something to ponder on each time I come
here. You are a wonderful group of people and I'm grateful to all of you.

E-mail: sandy72269@yahoo.ca
Last Day Gambled: Feb 28, 03


S Jane Friday, 3/7/03, 7:00 AM

Been 1 solid week, no poker machine, no urge to even go. Guess I"m still in the shock stage from the last time. My conscience
won't let me gamble. My HP won't let me gamble. Finally understanding my higher power, and a few people helped me out on
that one. I'm flipping back and forth between the first 2 steps, still a little leery right now on moving to quickly to step 3. Would
like to thank (( Carole )) and (( Becky )) so much for replying to my message about sponsorship. I understand that even being
accountable to someone on a regular basis could be just as good for me right now. Thank you so very much. I feel better inside
my heart today. Not so depressed and down on myself. I can't wait for the day where I can concern myself more with others
than worrying about myself. Thank you again everyone for posting and giving me something to ponder on each time I come
here. You are a wonderful group of people and I'm grateful to all over you.

E-mail: sandy72269@yahoo.ca
Last Day Gambled: Feb 28, 03


Cindy D Friday, 3/7/03, 6:24 AM

Morning all.....been really reflecting this week, after becoming unemployed on Monday. But the support and love I have
received from each of you and the strength of my HP, has me adding to my grateful list. I have been blessed to have people
who care about me and support me without conditions. -----Jennifer------- Loving ya sis, wishing we were closer,
geographically, so that we could walk this recovery path together, side by side. Think f2f meetings would do both of us a world
of good, after experiencing the f2f love and sharing at the KC conference. Congrats to all the milestoners today and a big
"HELLO" to all the newcomers. YSIR, Cindy

From: Kansas
E-mail: duffyschat@holtonks.net
Last Day Gambled: 10/28/02
rich r Friday, 3/7/03, 6:14 AM

Good morning. Rich R, compulsive gambler. Welcome to all who come here, we hope you stick around for awhile. Some of us
are drawing great strength from this website. (In fact, I was wondering to myself yesterday, how many people are abstaining
from gambling by JUST coming here, i.e. no face-to-face GA meetings or professional help). Anyway, as they say 'keep coming
back'! ~~~ Today is a fairly exciting day for this retired guy. This morning I am going to visit a homebound GA member
(recovering from a broken ankle). And then tonight starts a weekend conference for another fellowship that I belong to. It is at
the Troy (MI) Marriott (see link below http://www.aa- semi.org/Level1~pages/calendar.html) Who knows, maybe I'll see Jim A
there for one of the keynote speakers!!! (even tho Jim isn't an 'official member'). ~~~ Lastly, I'd like to encourage Lloyd T to
continue to journal and post. It is wonderful to see a guy so young really trying hard to work this program! I wish I could have
gotten involved 20 or 30 years ago instead of in 1991, but whatever! ~~~ I'll be back :-)

From: detroit
Web Site: March Round Up
E-mail: richr121500@yahoo,com
Last Day Gambled: 121500


Dal B. Friday, 3/7/03, 5:19 AM

Good Morning, Well, an update. I got boss alone and we both apologized for losing tempers. We both realize that the pressure
from above is making us nuts and we both agreed to try and still the temper and speak clearly. +++++++++++++++ New
worker is going at it full bore and we're happy she's getting the system down. Yes, have to work today, so shopping is off till
sunday. But hey, I still get a couple days off. :) (VENT WARNING) I am getting a bit tired of the "Ditech" home loan crap. I
know a couple of people who have taken loans from them and they then reamed their cards again. If this keeps up, they'll hurt
themselves so badly, they'll never recover. It's strange, I feel sorrow for them (And myself too sometimes) and hope they
realize that CUTTING the cards and living at a lower level is NOT a bad thing. Well, all for today..Half day of work, then home to
relax. Have a good day all (((((HUGS))))) Dal (Relieved) B.

From: Vancouver, WA
E-mail: dalbert_b@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 12/31/02


Vicki B Friday, 3/7/03, 5:01 AM
Today's thought is: "Some days I feel like a tightrope walker." - Jeannette N.- "We all perform a balancing act, trying to keep
perspective on what's important and what is not. Sometimes we fall: crazy drivers cut into our lane; the supermarket line takes
forever; the baby's crying. At those times a minor insult at work or a cross word from a friend is just too much, and we lose our
cool - and our balance. During our years of active addiction we were impulsive, living in an all-or-nothing, black-and-white
world, completely out of balance. Minor slights became major issues. We were subject to any whim our distorted thoughts
cooked up. We've had lots of practice being out of balance, so we have to work harder to regain it, but now we have the tools
to change. Our program gives us a new focus, reminds us of what's important in our lives. We're reminded, too, of our
powerlessness over people, places, and things. These ideas are new to us at first. We thought we had to control everything and
everyone around us, and so we failed. But now we're learning how to keep our balance, and recover it when we've lost it. With
practice, we'll get better every day. Now, we're learning how to let go and let God. Today help me remember what's important.
Help me keep my balance." [In sharing, Vicki B., 10/11/02. Grateful for this new day. This day holds possibilities and
opportunities, it is my choice how I pursue them, or just wizz thru the day, too busy to focus. So I take a deep breath and
slowly exhale. Praying to know and do God's will throught this day. May I keep balance by doing so. Wishing all milestones a
hearty congratulations. A special ((((Hub Hug))) to each of you!!!]

From: MI
E-mail: human53@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 10/11/02


Friday, 3/7/03, 4:58 AM

Date: Fri, 07 Mar 2003 Today's thought is: Live and let live is good advice. The more comfortable we are with the knowledge
that each of us has a unique journey to make, a specific purpose to fulfill, the easier it is to let other people live their own lives.
When family members are in trouble with alcohol or other drugs, it's terribly difficult to let them have their own journey.
Because we love them, we feel compelled to help them get clean and sober. In reality, all we can do is pray for their safety and
well-being. Their recovery is up to them and their Higher Power. For some of us it's a leap of faith to believe there really is a
Divine plan of which we are all a part. And perhaps it's not even necessary to believe. But we'll find the hours of every day
gentler if we accept that a Higher Power is watching over all of us. Being able to let others live and learn their own lessons is
one of our lessons. The more we master it, the more peaceful we'll be. I have enough to do just living my life today. I can let
others do what they must. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Today's meditation comes from the book A Life of My Own by
Karen Casey copyright 1993 sharing..ysir, love JoniB
sue Friday, 3/7/03, 4:48 AM

I've just read the posts again...so I will make a correction ((Carole)) thanks for the beautiful prayer from yesterday. Chatcat -
Keep up the good work...I have been trying to get through Step 1 now...for me, it means working it everyday. To anyone
celebrating a milestone today CONGRATS!!! thinking of you ((Marie)) and ((Anna)). Sasha - thanks for the daily hugs!!!! sue

Last Day Gambled: 02/22/03


JoniB Friday, 3/7/03, 4:45 AM

A recovering gcg..a Fresh New Day..awwwwe..going to take on the day..hug the gals at work..just because..my son is at his
cousins..smiles..going to handle what I can in my Day..leave the rest to my HP (GOD))he likes that..and be Grateful to be Alive
this moment in time..yeppers..going to Enjoy, feel the goodness around me..soak it up..share it.and be kind to me..take a noon
walk with a dear friend..laugh..love to tease these people.and they sooo love teasing me tooo..yeppers..going to be a
gooodie..Choices..love having them..good ones for me:)Congrats All milestoners..and ((((SHASHAS LIST))))your are Precious
in Gods EYES:):)mine too:):) love you precious People..Have a Most Wonderful DAY..k..cuz you ARE!! Make your Day a
GOODIE:) and be reallllll kind to you:) off to make my Day..with a skip and a jump..and that "Undeniable SMILE":):) ysir, love
and hugs JoniB

From: Nebr
Last Day Gambled: 7/08/00 Grateful


Patty Friday, 3/7/03, 4:36 AM

Morning All. Congrates to all who are celebrating a birthday..! T-day is a good day for me and coming on here each morning
helps me stay in recovery... Yesterday I had the day off..and to be able to relax and enjoy a day off doing nothing is a miricle
for me..Before i always felt I had to be doing something..otherwise I felt no good.. T-day to be able to sit with ME is
wonderfull.. Thank you all for listening to me.. Patty.....

From: Irealnd
E-mail: oconnorpatti@hotmail.com
Friday, 3/7/03, 3:35 AM

Good Friday morning everyone! It's been a tough couple of days - Very Busy - yet fighting lots of thoughts and urges to
gamble...13 Days today (AMEN) Todays is my sons 13th bday - coincidence???? Don't like the number to much but it must
mean something ha? He woke up this morning to a nice home made breakfast of waffles, and fresh fruit with yogurt - A
breakfast fit for my small King!!!! Carole and Linda - I didn't get to post yesterday but (((( )))) on your milestones. You are
AWESOME! Keep up the great work. I can only pray that someday I can see and celebrate that kind of time clean. Another
snowstorm last night here in New England. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!! I need it to be spring so I can get the heck out of this house
and start my gardening. I really look forward to that because that has always been one of my hobbies that I love to do. Busy
day today - My daughter has her Big formal dance tonite - gotta take her to get hair and nails done today...I am grateful that I
was able to do for her this week and not gamble away the money that we are spending on a dress, shoes, etc. Thank you
everyone for yesterday's shares. The poem (i forget who posted it) yesterday was beautiful!! Well I am off to start my busy day
and then to my meeting tonite (I definitely need it!!!) (((Thinking of all of you from the hub))))....sue


Friday, 3/7/03, 3:19 AM

Reflection for the Day...It's time for me to realize that my attitude-- toward the ife I'm living and the people in it--can have a
tangible , measurable, and profound affect on what happens to me day by day. If I expect good, then good will surely come to
me. And if I try each day to base my attitude and point of view on a sound spiritual foundation. I know it will change all the
circumstances of my life for the better too. Do I accept the fact that I have been given only a daily reprieve that is contingent
on the maintenance of my spiritual condition? Today I Pray..Since my illness was spiritual--as well as emotional--may I mend
spirituallly through daily contact with God. May I find a corner of quiet within me where I can spend a few moments with God.
May God's will be known to me. Today I will Remember..To spend a quiet moment with God. sharing ..A Day at a time..GA The
HUB


Friday, 3/7/03, 3:12 AM

The HUB would like to Congratulate All thoe reaching another Milestone!!MyraF 1-7-96..Marilyn H. 4-7-99 TLT. 7-7-01..John H
2-7-02..Worried in Lachine 6-7- 02..Jan L 11-7-02..Spiro 2-07-03..CLAP CLAP CLAP ThankYOU for your ES & HOPE!!!
CELEBRATE "TODAY"!!!


Okiemaw Friday, 3/7/03, 1:54 AM
Hi All!! I've been here, but haven't posted for a few days..Way to go all you "milestoners". "It Works"...((Jennifer)) you are a
very brave, wonderful, generous, and intelligent person and you will make it...((Chatcat)) welcome to the family... ((JimA))
Great "Rockin Recovery" site...love Star Wars, especially Chubakka!...((Sister Okies)) thanks for checking on me...All the
wisdom, support, and comfort I get from ALL you Hubsters make it easier for this sick RCG to stay on my recovery journey.
Thank you...I had a rough start to my week. Tuesday Hubby and I got crossways over our money problems..not my gambling
debts..just our regular bills. Old resentments and guilts came back to the surface and it wasn't pretty. Some of the things he
said hurt me very deeply. He's been very supportive, but he just doesn't understand this disease. He is stressed out over the
financial situation and vented on me. He apologized, but the damage was done. This really tested the strength of my recovery,
but it did not break it!! I've had to do a lot of praying and reading and thinking the last couple of days to sort all this out in my
head. I've reached out to some of my brothers and sisters in recovery and found the support and guidance I needed. I've done
a whole lot of "cleansing" (crying). I know my HP has a plan and I will follow his lead. I think our money problems are
manageable with His help. I am also looking for a job, with His help. I will need one to pay my debts anyway. I have tried to
share this faith with my husband, but I guess he is just not ready. He is a very stubborn "old poot" but I do love him. We've got
26 years together next month. I pray we can get through this. The good news is .. all the "cleansing" got rid of the headache
I've had for the last several weeks. hehehe ((Sasha))...YFIR...Diana

From: Southern Oklahoma
E-mail: okiema@brightok.net
Last Day Gambled: 1/29/03 ODAAT

jaybird Friday, 3/7/03, 8:27 AM

morning the bird is back from his migrations, and what a trip it was, cindy,s place, to the conference, then to jennifers, long
plane ride, butt sore, and got a ticket just afew miles from getting home. happy to tell you that it didn,t upset me, was polite to
the officer, and he cut me alot of slack, would have been a whole different story if that cop stopped me afew years ago when i
was comming back from one of my vegas, or reno trips, and it sure felt good for Patty to complement me on how i handled the
traffic stop this time vs, pre recovery days, that made me feel very good, took any sting i had over the ticket away, smiles.
(once again patty said she sure likes the new improved bird)progress not perfection, WOW TO BIG MILE STONES, LINDA T 5
YEARS AND CAROLE 1 YEARS, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, AND JONI CARTWHEELS. TO YOU GALS SO PROUD OF YA. LOVE THIS UNITY.
WE A HECK OF A BUNCH, SO MUCH LOVE TO SHARE WITH EACH OTHER. SO MANY BRO,S, AND SIS,S I HAVE YET TO MEET.
TOUCHING EACH OTHERS LIVE IT WHAT IT,S ABOUT FOR ME. LOVE YA ALL CAN;T DO THIS WITH OUT YA. SO GREATFUL TO
HAVE YOU IN MY LIFE, WELCOME ABOARD. YBIR, JAYBIRD

From: port angeles, wa
E-mail: srchief@prodigy.net
Last Day Gambled: 1/18/01


Friday, 3/7/03, 8:17 AM

YAHOO to all reaching a milestone, 13 days is awesome Sue, and Sandy, one day, one week, one year, all important, heck
those first days are it:) Carole


Carole Friday, 3/7/03, 8:15 AM

ITS A NEW DAY!! Carole here, a recovery compulsive gambler, suffering with a real "love" hangover, feels fabulous:) never in a
million years anticipated the day I had yesterday, the complete polar opposite of the day I came here to the HUB..when I type
in each morning It' A New Day..I mean it with all my heart, and have since 1986, when I came to know the Lord, and
experienced the power of the 12 steps...there has been tons of real life crap since, but like Dr. Schuller says, turn your scars
into stars..you don't get joy unless you have emptied yourself of your own ego, just the way it is...when I first started to post
here, in the beginning only a precious few would answer an email or reach out..hence my passion to reach out was born, I have
always been empathetic, but this year, it was imperative I try to at least mail one person..at least one when I thought
necessary, yesterday was so overwhelming, each and every person I ever was in touch with, wrote me or said something
publicly, it was very embarrasing, cause I am not one to seek "attention"...I just love the 12th step. My very dear and beloved
trusted friend, warned me early on, if you put yourself out there Carole, you will get some mean letters, just shake them
off..and for sure I did receive hate mail, but thank God for the delete button, yesterday proved to me that speaking your truth,
from the heart, wanting the best, being empathetic, had great rewards beyond the imagination, you reep what you sow..God is
so good, and I just love you all, even those who wish I would just go away, love you more:) ((Chatcat)))fabulous, step 1, the
big ONE>> (((Okiewaw))he will come around, takes time:) ((SUE)) that was a very spontaneous prayer to try and show some
appreciation for the day, my HP takes credit, have fun today:)((DAL)))good going with the boss((CindyD))great attitude.
BALANCE..my test..keep things simple, peace and joy and love, Carpe Diem, Seize Teh Day..yeah Gary, your sister in recovery,
Carole....have a safe and bet free week-end:)

E-mail: carols136@rcgsite/org
Last Day Gambled: march 6/2002


Pete T. Friday, 3/7/03, 8:15 AM
Good Morning to Everyone.... It has been a long time since I was last here with my family. In January I had my fourth surgery
in 12 months...a total left knee replacement....all is well now and I am looking forward to returning to work on a full time
schedule. The events of the past few months would have been a trigger for destruction in the years that I walked everyday with
the BEAST. But now that I make my choice each day...that for today there will not be any bets...and that I trust my HIGHER
POWER completely...there are no longer any problems that trigger the days of hell from years gone by. Hugs and smiles for all
who celebrate a milestone today...take care and be safe my friends...you never walk alone...I am you. Pete

From: Great Barrington, Mass.
E-mail: masterchef_masterchef@hotmail.com
Last Day Gambled: 4/20/01


Charlie P Friday, 3/7/03, 7:51 AM

Charlie P here a RCG. Taking the baby steps one day at time. Not counting my days now as each day without a bet is good for
me...Jennifer, so glad to see you did come back. Yes, there is so much unconditional love here and within the rooms of
GA.....So good to seeing so many attending f2f meetings. I am getting back into my routine of f2f contact also. I cannot
procrastinate over attending f2f meetings. Its not good for my overall mental health and my serinity. I did get many emails
telling me to be sure that I concentrate on my recovery first. All will fall into place in time. Getting complacent in recovery kinda
creeped up on me like the disease did. I guess I can anylize the crap out of what happened, but I think its more important to
dive back into the program head first. Hopefully all the reasons will surface at some point as I continue to work through the
steps again. I do have to remember that this is a life long journey and have to stay with it...Congrats to all the milestones, and
welcome newcomers. Hope we all have another day gamble free. YBIR Charlie P

From: Live in Mississippi
E-mail: cp044@bellsouth.net
Last Day Gambled: 2/23/03


Jennifer Friday, 3/7/03, 7:35 AM

Just like at the conference last weekend, the love on this Hub is overwhelming! Thanks to so many of you who sent your
support via e-mail, cards, and messages yesterday. {{{MARIE, OKIEMAW, CAROLE, CINDY, JANIE, CAROLE, SUE, JONI,
SASHA, AMBER, VICKI B., DELORES, ANNA C., JAYBIRD, AND VAL}}} It's like correcting a child. If you do it with love and
forgiveness, the child will want to change their ways. Smack them upside the head, and they'll show you just how BAD they can
be. Since meeting some of the other KC GA members last weekend, I think I will try a f2f meeting on Sunday. Can't hurt, right?
I'm ready to move forward with my recovery once again. ~~~ HELEN, I enjoyed sharing the meeting with you last night. Step
1 is a big one. I'm glad you made it in your heart yesterday. Stay with us. It works! ~~~ Thanks again to everyone here for
sharing your ES&H. We're all different but suffer from a common disease. Together, we can heal. Remember, we are all just
one bet from disaster. :)

From: Missouri
E-mail: jennifermo@kc.rr.com
Last Day Gambled: 3/06/03 -- the last day of my old life


S Jane Friday, 3/7/03, 7:02 AM

Been 1 solid week, no poker machine, no urge to even go. Guess I"m still in the shock stage from the last time. My conscience
won't let me gamble. My HP won't let me gamble. Finally understanding my higher power, and a few people helped me out on
that one. I'm flipping back and forth between the first 2 steps, still a little leery right now on moving to quickly to step 3. Would
like to thank (( Carole )) and (( Becky )) so much for replying to my message about sponsorship. I understand that even being
accountable to someone on a regular basis could be just as good for me right now. Thank you so very much. I feel better inside
my heart today. Not so depressed and down on myself. I can't wait for the day where I can concern myself more with others
than worrying about myself. Thank you again everyone for posting and giving me something to ponder on each time I come
here. You are a wonderful group of people and I'm grateful to all of you.

E-mail: sandy72269@yahoo.ca
Last Day Gambled: Feb 28, 03


S Jane Friday, 3/7/03, 7:00 AM

Been 1 solid week, no poker machine, no urge to even go. Guess I"m still in the shock stage from the last time. My conscience
won't let me gamble. My HP won't let me gamble. Finally understanding my higher power, and a few people helped me out on
that one. I'm flipping back and forth between the first 2 steps, still a little leery right now on moving to quickly to step 3. Would
like to thank (( Carole )) and (( Becky )) so much for replying to my message about sponsorship. I understand that even being
accountable to someone on a regular basis could be just as good for me right now. Thank you so very much. I feel better inside
my heart today. Not so depressed and down on myself. I can't wait for the day where I can concern myself more with others
than worrying about myself. Thank you again everyone for posting and giving me something to ponder on each time I come
here. You are a wonderful group of people and I'm grateful to all over you.

E-mail: sandy72269@yahoo.ca
Last Day Gambled: Feb 28, 03


Cindy D Friday, 3/7/03, 6:24 AM

Morning all.....been really reflecting this week, after becoming unemployed on Monday. But the support and love I have
received from each of you and the strength of my HP, has me adding to my grateful list. I have been blessed to have people
who care about me and support me without conditions. -----Jennifer------- Loving ya sis, wishing we were closer,
geographically, so that we could walk this recovery path together, side by side. Think f2f meetings would do both of us a world
of good, after experiencing the f2f love and sharing at the KC conference. Congrats to all the milestoners today and a big
"HELLO" to all the newcomers. YSIR, Cindy

From: Kansas
E-mail: duffyschat@holtonks.net
Last Day Gambled: 10/28/02


rich r Friday, 3/7/03, 6:14 AM

Good morning. Rich R, compulsive gambler. Welcome to all who come here, we hope you stick around for awhile. Some of us
are drawing great strength from this website. (In fact, I was wondering to myself yesterday, how many people are abstaining
from gambling by JUST coming here, i.e. no face-to-face GA meetings or professional help). Anyway, as they say 'keep coming
back'! ~~~ Today is a fairly exciting day for this retired guy. This morning I am going to visit a homebound GA member
(recovering from a broken ankle). And then tonight starts a weekend conference for another fellowship that I belong to. It is at
the Troy (MI) Marriott (see link below http://www.aa- semi.org/Level1~pages/calendar.html) Who knows, maybe I'll see Jim A
there for one of the keynote speakers!!! (even tho Jim isn't an 'official member'). ~~~ Lastly, I'd like to encourage Lloyd T to
continue to journal and post. It is wonderful to see a guy so young really trying hard to work this program! I wish I could have
gotten involved 20 or 30 years ago instead of in 1991, but whatever! ~~~ I'll be back :-)

From: detroit
Web Site: March Round Up
E-mail: richr121500@yahoo,com
Last Day Gambled: 121500


Dal B. Friday, 3/7/03, 5:19 AM

Good Morning, Well, an update. I got boss alone and we both apologized for losing tempers. We both realize that the pressure
from above is making us nuts and we both agreed to try and still the temper and speak clearly. +++++++++++++++ New
worker is going at it full bore and we're happy she's getting the system down. Yes, have to work today, so shopping is off till
sunday. But hey, I still get a couple days off. :) (VENT WARNING) I am getting a bit tired of the "Ditech" home loan crap. I
know a couple of people who have taken loans from them and they then reamed their cards again. If this keeps up, they'll hurt
themselves so badly, they'll never recover. It's strange, I feel sorrow for them (And myself too sometimes) and hope they
realize that CUTTING the cards and living at a lower level is NOT a bad thing. Well, all for today..Half day of work, then home to
relax. Have a good day all (((((HUGS))))) Dal (Relieved) B.

From: Vancouver, WA
E-mail: dalbert_b@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 12/31/02


Vicki B Friday, 3/7/03, 5:01 AM

Today's thought is: "Some days I feel like a tightrope walker." - Jeannette N.- "We all perform a balancing act, trying to keep
perspective on what's important and what is not. Sometimes we fall: crazy drivers cut into our lane; the supermarket line takes
forever; the baby's crying. At those times a minor insult at work or a cross word from a friend is just too much, and we lose our
cool - and our balance. During our years of active addiction we were impulsive, living in an all-or-nothing, black-and-white
world, completely out of balance. Minor slights became major issues. We were subject to any whim our distorted thoughts
cooked up. We've had lots of practice being out of balance, so we have to work harder to regain it, but now we have the tools
to change. Our program gives us a new focus, reminds us of what's important in our lives. We're reminded, too, of our
powerlessness over people, places, and things. These ideas are new to us at first. We thought we had to control everything and
everyone around us, and so we failed. But now we're learning how to keep our balance, and recover it when we've lost it. With
practice, we'll get better every day. Now, we're learning how to let go and let God. Today help me remember what's important.
Help me keep my balance." [In sharing, Vicki B., 10/11/02. Grateful for this new day. This day holds possibilities and
opportunities, it is my choice how I pursue them, or just wizz thru the day, too busy to focus. So I take a deep breath and
slowly exhale. Praying to know and do God's will throught this day. May I keep balance by doing so. Wishing all milestones a
hearty congratulations. A special ((((Hub Hug))) to each of you!!!]

From: MI
E-mail: human53@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 10/11/02


Friday, 3/7/03, 4:58 AM

Date: Fri, 07 Mar 2003 Today's thought is: Live and let live is good advice. The more comfortable we are with the knowledge
that each of us has a unique journey to make, a specific purpose to fulfill, the easier it is to let other people live their own lives.
When family members are in trouble with alcohol or other drugs, it's terribly difficult to let them have their own journey.
Because we love them, we feel compelled to help them get clean and sober. In reality, all we can do is pray for their safety and
well-being. Their recovery is up to them and their Higher Power. For some of us it's a leap of faith to believe there really is a
Divine plan of which we are all a part. And perhaps it's not even necessary to believe. But we'll find the hours of every day
gentler if we accept that a Higher Power is watching over all of us. Being able to let others live and learn their own lessons is
one of our lessons. The more we master it, the more peaceful we'll be. I have enough to do just living my life today. I can let
others do what they must. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Today's meditation comes from the book A Life of My Own by
Karen Casey copyright 1993 sharing..ysir, love JoniB


sue Friday, 3/7/03, 4:48 AM

I've just read the posts again...so I will make a correction ((Carole)) thanks for the beautiful prayer from yesterday. Chatcat -
Keep up the good work...I have been trying to get through Step 1 now...for me, it means working it everyday. To anyone
celebrating a milestone today CONGRATS!!! thinking of you ((Marie)) and ((Anna)). Sasha - thanks for the daily hugs!!!! sue

Last Day Gambled: 02/22/03


JoniB Friday, 3/7/03, 4:45 AM

A recovering gcg..a Fresh New Day..awwwwe..going to take on the day..hug the gals at work..just because..my son is at his
cousins..smiles..going to handle what I can in my Day..leave the rest to my HP (GOD))he likes that..and be Grateful to be Alive
this moment in time..yeppers..going to Enjoy, feel the goodness around me..soak it up..share it.and be kind to me..take a noon
walk with a dear friend..laugh..love to tease these people.and they sooo love teasing me tooo..yeppers..going to be a
gooodie..Choices..love having them..good ones for me:)Congrats All milestoners..and ((((SHASHAS LIST))))your are Precious
in Gods EYES:):)mine too:):) love you precious People..Have a Most Wonderful DAY..k..cuz you ARE!! Make your Day a
GOODIE:) and be reallllll kind to you:) off to make my Day..with a skip and a jump..and that "Undeniable SMILE":):) ysir, love
and hugs JoniB

From: Nebr
Last Day Gambled: 7/08/00 Grateful


Patty Friday, 3/7/03, 4:36 AM

Morning All. Congrates to all who are celebrating a birthday..! T-day is a good day for me and coming on here each morning
helps me stay in recovery... Yesterday I had the day off..and to be able to relax and enjoy a day off doing nothing is a miricle
for me..Before i always felt I had to be doing something..otherwise I felt no good.. T-day to be able to sit with ME is
wonderfull.. Thank you all for listening to me.. Patty.....

From: Irealnd
E-mail: oconnorpatti@hotmail.com


Friday, 3/7/03, 3:35 AM

Good Friday morning everyone! It's been a tough couple of days - Very Busy - yet fighting lots of thoughts and urges to
gamble...13 Days today (AMEN) Todays is my sons 13th bday - coincidence???? Don't like the number to much but it must
mean something ha? He woke up this morning to a nice home made breakfast of waffles, and fresh fruit with yogurt - A
breakfast fit for my small King!!!! Carole and Linda - I didn't get to post yesterday but (((( )))) on your milestones. You are
AWESOME! Keep up the great work. I can only pray that someday I can see and celebrate that kind of time clean. Another
snowstorm last night here in New England. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!! I need it to be spring so I can get the heck out of this house
and start my gardening. I really look forward to that because that has always been one of my hobbies that I love to do. Busy
day today - My daughter has her Big formal dance tonite - gotta take her to get hair and nails done today...I am grateful that I
was able to do for her this week and not gamble away the money that we are spending on a dress, shoes, etc. Thank you
everyone for yesterday's shares. The poem (i forget who posted it) yesterday was beautiful!! Well I am off to start my busy day
and then to my meeting tonite (I definitely need it!!!) (((Thinking of all of you from the hub))))....sue
Friday, 3/7/03, 3:19 AM

Reflection for the Day...It's time for me to realize that my attitude-- toward the ife I'm living and the people in it--can have a
tangible , measurable, and profound affect on what happens to me day by day. If I expect good, then good will surely come to
me. And if I try each day to base my attitude and point of view on a sound spiritual foundation. I know it will change all the
circumstances of my life for the better too. Do I accept the fact that I have been given only a daily reprieve that is contingent
on the maintenance of my spiritual condition? Today I Pray..Since my illness was spiritual--as well as emotional--may I mend
spirituallly through daily contact with God. May I find a corner of quiet within me where I can spend a few moments with God.
May God's will be known to me. Today I will Remember..To spend a quiet moment with God. sharing ..A Day at a time..GA The
HUB


Friday, 3/7/03, 3:12 AM

The HUB would like to Congratulate All thoe reaching another Milestone!!MyraF 1-7-96..Marilyn H. 4-7-99 TLT. 7-7-01..John H
2-7-02..Worried in Lachine 6-7- 02..Jan L 11-7-02..Spiro 2-07-03..CLAP CLAP CLAP ThankYOU for your ES & HOPE!!!
CELEBRATE "TODAY"!!!


Okiemaw Friday, 3/7/03, 1:54 AM

Hi All!! I've been here, but haven't posted for a few days..Way to go all you "milestoners". "It Works"...((Jennifer)) you are a
very brave, wonderful, generous, and intelligent person and you will make it...((Chatcat)) welcome to the family... ((JimA))
Great "Rockin Recovery" site...love Star Wars, especially Chubakka!...((Sister Okies)) thanks for checking on me...All the
wisdom, support, and comfort I get from ALL you Hubsters make it easier for this sick RCG to stay on my recovery journey.
Thank you...I had a rough start to my week. Tuesday Hubby and I got crossways over our money problems..not my gambling
debts..just our regular bills. Old resentments and guilts came back to the surface and it wasn't pretty. Some of the things he
said hurt me very deeply. He's been very supportive, but he just doesn't understand this disease. He is stressed out over the
financial situation and vented on me. He apologized, but the damage was done. This really tested the strength of my recovery,
but it did not break it!! I've had to do a lot of praying and reading and thinking the last couple of days to sort all this out in my
head. I've reached out to some of my brothers and sisters in recovery and found the support and guidance I needed. I've done
a whole lot of "cleansing" (crying). I know my HP has a plan and I will follow his lead. I think our money problems are
manageable with His help. I am also looking for a job, with His help. I will need one to pay my debts anyway. I have tried to
share this faith with my husband, but I guess he is just not ready. He is a very stubborn "old poot" but I do love him. We've got
26 years together next month. I pray we can get through this. The good news is .. all the "cleansing" got rid of the headache
I've had for the last several weeks. hehehe ((Sasha))...YFIR...Diana

From: Southern Oklahoma
E-mail: okiema@brightok.net
Last Day Gambled: 1/29/03 ODAAT
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Hub Posts Saturday 3/8/03
Sheila L Saturday, 3/8/03, 11:24 PM

Life is good!! You can't ask for much more than that in recovery.

From: Arizona
Last Day Gambled: March 14, 2001


sasha Saturday, 3/8/03, 10:28 PM

"The sower may mistake and sow his peas crookedly; the peas make no mistake, but come up and show his line" ---Ralph
Waldo Emerson....this one made me laugh...hope it put a smile on someones face!! S

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


NancyM Saturday, 3/8/03, 9:21 PM

Hi All, It's been awhile since I last posted. I have been in a big depression and also very anti-social. All the changes that have
happened with my job and life took a toll on me. I didn't handle much of it with grace. Then, I got bronchitis and that has had
me whipped for over 2 weeks now. I want my life back..and I'm willing to go the distance now. A year ago I found this HUB..it
has saved my life. Although I havnt been able to stay bet free....I do keep trying. I so related to the post about leaving the
"other" person when we'd go to the casino. I swear more than once I was on the outside looking in at what was happening.
Thanks so much for the group hugs...they really help this CG. In less than 2 weeks...yippeee the YaYa Retreat...I am ready to
open up so this is exactly what I need. We are an Awesome bunch!! Congrats to all the milestoners!! Carole...you gooo girl!
Love, Nancy

From: PHX
Last Day Gambled: 2-16-03


Wilma Saturday, 3/8/03, 9:20 PM

Hello everyone. Wilma here a CG grateful to be in recovery ODAAT. Just checking in to say CONGRATULATIONS to all
celebrating milestone today. Sending my HUGS to all on Shasha list. My prayers to all who still suffers. Welcome newcomers.
Everything is great here. No urges thanks to my HP and your post. Just busy preparing for my long vacation coming up(7
weeks). I am still working on step 4, and it is the hardest for me or may I say I am stuck there right now. I think I'm afraid to
know what I don't know about me. Don't know if it make sense. Thank you all for your post and your support. To the
newcomer, keep reading and posting it will get better ODAAT. Have a gamble free weekend everyone. Love, Wilma

From: Arizona
E-mail: wilma102102@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 10-21-02


Tino Saturday, 3/8/03, 9:17 PM

H.A.L.T This will be one of those 80+ hour work weeks for me and I am very Hungry not Angery was Lonely and veryyyyyyy
Tired. Just a quick hug and to everyone and off to bed for a couple of hours.

From: Las Vegas
Web Site: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Lifeawayfromgambling/
Last Day Gambled: August 28th 2002


Saturday, 3/8/03, 9:11 PM

stopping in to wish you all a peaceful nite..been working on my Resume here..and yep..taking breaks to chatt some too...love
that..connecting with you..awesome thing...oh my JimA...ohh how I wish I could be at that one toooo..Chicago Conferences are
Awesome..can't this year..dang..want to sooo meet and HUG you tooo..but..theirs always a BUT.hehehe..I will one
day..yeppers..Carole said..I need to keep that FAITH..smiles..so AM...you will have a GRAND time...KC was sooo GRAND...I
always come home sooooooo Full..I have been fortunate the last couple years to have been to 7 conferences..minis and
Nationals..and my...the fellowship..the Recovery there..is well...undescribable..and sooooo has given me the Recovery boosts I
soo needed early on..and today..each time I'm able to go..my heart sings, with joy in them..yeppers...ENJOY..k..where hearts
touch..faces then come together..very special things..you will see....its awesome:):) going to snuggle here..had a Good
Day...spent hanging out here..shared with precious friends..on the phone ..online...and got some needed things done here
toooo..bit cold tonite..so going to snuggle in with a good book..thankyou Delores..some good reading ahead..so love that..
wishing you each a restful nite..that feeling of being embraced..knowing your not alone..ever.. (((((SashasList)))))..love you
people..simple as that:) ysir, JoniB..........jonimb@neb.rr.com


Jim A. (gr8_move@yahoo.com) Saturday, 3/8/03, 8:55 PM

Hello everyone ~~~ Wanted to say to Rich R. thanks for the invitation, I did review the Flyer, but with the crazy weather patter
changes over the last 48 hours or so, I thought it better to stay close to home. Interested in your feedback, especially relating
to 'sponsorship'. ~~~ This evening, I filled out my Registration Form to attend the 10th Annual Spring Conference in Chicago,
presented by CHICAGOLAND G.A. & GAM-ANON, taking place April 4th, 5th, and 6th. I chose Package "A" to be precise .... lol!
Many, many reasons why I do not want to miss this weekend event! Here are just a few: (1) tremendous opportunity to meet
many of you in person (2) although I have been to many, many conferences in our local area (Area 9), I have not yet attended
one in another area and I have heard great things about the 'Chicago conferences' (3) my niece is planning to get married on
August 16, 2003 which I do not want to miss, and so I will be traveling when our local Miniconference is scheduled this year, so
in effect, I will be substituting the Chicago conference instead of attending my local Miniconference this year (4) I am truly
inspired by what Jimmy M. in our local area says about the value of attending conferences -- trust me, he has been to a bunch!
(5) I am inspired to get out of my 'comfort zone' by many of you reading this, people like Jaybird, and Joni, and Kathy, and
Vicki and many others too!! who have traveled to attend either regional or even National Conferences!!! ~~~ All for now, have
a safe 24! ~~~ Peace.

From: Davison (City of Flags), Michigan
E-mail: gr8_move@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: January 23, 1996


Okiemaw Saturday, 3/8/03, 8:00 PM

Hi All! Had another great bet free day here.Very grateful. Wanted to send a special thank you to all the great people reaching
milestones today. Thank you (((((ALL))))) ODAAT ....Diana

From: Oklahoma
E-mail: okiema@brightok.net
Last Day Gambled: 1/29/03 ODAAT


Sasha Saturday, 3/8/03, 7:58 PM

HELLO HUB FAMILY: WOW WOW WOW Congratulations on those hitting their personal milestones today. ((((((marc))))))
thanks for the hugs...you all motivate me to be the best I can be...so I have to say thank you and everyone here for all you
do!!! Today was a splendid day!! Mom has been bugging out about how long my hair was....I have natural curly hair and many
hairstylist just dont know how to style it right, so I may go a year or two of not letting anyone touch it...but I broke down and
went to a lady that cut my hair 1 1/2 ago. Its all right, but I hate all the hairspray and gook she put on my hair LOLOL. Caught
up with my best friend, we went to the movies and saw "Bringing down the house" atarring Queen Latyfa and Steve Martin. It
was a hoot....however I pleaded with my friend not to laugh to hard....did not want the baby to pop out!! LOL. Afterwards, we
went to get a bite to eat and went shopping for the kids....had a lovely day. Funny thing, the casino popped in my head, but it
left as soon as I recognized it. I remember last time that happend, the very next day I was driving toward the casino and then
made the u-ie. So, we shall see what it will be like tomorrow...I am sure I will be just fine. ((Janie J)) I sent you an email about
my own thoughts about the bingo...etc...we all have to live in the real world....my compulsions are with the knickle
machines....there is no limit to how many 20's I feed it...that is my problem..but for other things like bingo and lottery
tickets....that isnt at all a problem...that is how I feel. Raffle tickets arent at all a problem...but if someone feels strongly that
they are, then they need to follow there hearts and do what they need to do. I called one of the lady's from the GA
meeting...she was new...for some reason I needed to touch base with her. She left me a voice mail and said she had the urge
last night, but did not go...she almost called me....so I will be calling her back and letting her know to call anytime of the day.
She is a good kid....just fell hard in this disease. ((JUDY)) welcome back!! Did not see your posting until after I sent out the
hugs list...have you on it now!!! ((Llyod)) Thanks for the email buddy...SOOOO good to read your posts!!!!! ((joni, amber,
genek, okiemaw)) remember our YA YA sister vigilante band? hehehehehehe just thinking about us all dressed in dark clothing,
running around taking out all those video poker machines and holding them hostage...hehehehe to make a point...OH WELL,
LOL....everyone have a grand evening. Strength love and peace out. Mels

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


Nightly Hugs and Prayers to the HUB Family and CGS across the World Saturday, 3/8/03, 7:37 PM
(((((AletaE, Amber, Andy-sydney, AnitaA,, Ann, Anna, AnnaC, Arnie W, Audrey, Barb, Barbara-Rella, BeckyB, BevR, Brandy,
Brenda , Brenda A, Brenda R, Brett, Cali, Cole, Colleen, Carole, CarolynK, Charlie K, CharlieP, Chatcat,Cindy D, Cindy H,
CindyW, Collette, Curtis L, Dal B, Damaris, Dan,Dark_Lady, Dave,Dave- Wash.DC, Dboy,DC, Dean, Deb B, Deb D, Deb G, Del,
Delores, Denise, DennisP, Dina, Don C, DonnaC, Dr. Jim, Dodger, Dorothe, Doug L, Emily, Emjay,FEO, Fiddler,GaryK, GeneK,
Gordon D. Gramers, Howie C, Jake A,Janie J, Jaybird, JayL, Jennifer, Jeannie, Jim A, Jim K, Joeanne, John H, John M,
JoniB,Josie, Jude, Karen, Kat, Katielyn, Kathy, Kathy S, Ken, Ken F, Kinnon, Lanie, LdyQP, Lenett, Lily , Linda C, Liz, Lloyd, Lu
S, Madge, Maggie, Marc, Marie, Mark, Mark M, Marty, Mary, Mary J, Marym downunder, MattW, Max H, , Melissa- sasha,
Michelle, Miranda, Nance, Nancy M, NICKY, Nita, Okiemaw, Pat L, Patty, Paula, Pete,Purdell, Rachel, Ramona, RandyM, Ray H,
ReneeB, ReneeC, Rich_DET, Richr, Robert, Robin H, Rose, Sal, Sandy, SandyK, Scott, R, Skogie1999, SharonJ, Sheila L, Sheryl,
S Jane, Sorry, Suzanne, Sue, SusanP, Steve, Steven, SylviB, Tara, Tino (sidepocketkid), Tna-Tina, Todd, Tom P, TomS, Tracy,
Valorie, Vel M, VickiB, Vida, Wayne, Williamk, Wilma, Ymg/Ymg, Zanna, OUR LOVED ONES and EVERYONE))))) <160>

Last Day Gambled: ONE DAY AT A TIME - Peace Out


AnnaC Saturday, 3/8/03, 7:31 PM

Hi all. Sorry I'm so late posting. After another not so easy night w/hubby last night I logged onto the chat and thank you all for
the support. You gave me so much strength and today I was able to let his problems be his and mine be mine and have so far
had a very nice day. Oh my what awesome milestones today...wish I had logged on earlier to say congratulations
(joniB)(Marie)and all and a special (sue) 14 days is awesome. good question about working those steps. I cant seem to get
passed 4 and I keep going back to the top...I read all of them and think about them...but for me I continue to go to the top and
go down. (big time hugs) for you all hope each and everyone of you has an awesome evening. Oh yes, I must say, yesterday
visions of gambling danced through my head big time.....boy I really am grateful to this HUB...last night my thoughts
were..."what would it hurt" this morning my thoughts were...thank God I didn't.

From: NV
Last Day Gambled: 12/2/02


Genek Saturday, 3/8/03, 7:15 PM

OOPS, --have no idea of why that was repeated 3 timesLOLLOL
From: NJ


Genek Saturday, 3/8/03, 7:10 PM

Hi all, Genek here a recovering compulsive gambler,and so happy to be on this recovery journey with all of you¿old timers and
new cgs.Welcome to everyone who is hurting,,struggling to overcome this insidious addiction of CG..GA tells us this is a simple
program to follow.But as I work thru the Steps:,and especially Step 4-I see it as a real challenge.-delving back into 50 years of
ME!:):) Carole, like your word game challenge~```~~~~~~~RECOVERY~~~~~R is for reflection on our past~~~~~E for
encouragement to follow the GA program~~~~~~~ C for Courage~O for the omnipresence of a HP~~~~~~~V for Victory
over this addiction of CG~~~~E for Effort~~~~~R for Respect and Y for Years of abstinence ~~~Congratulations to all
reaching a milestone today.Hope everyone enjoys the reat off the weekend. (((((((Sasha's List))))))))) llove, Genek Hi all,
Genek here a recovering compulsive gambler,and so happy to be on this recovery journey with all of you¿old timers and new
cgs.Welcome to everyone who is hurting,,struggling to overcome this insidious addiction of CG..GA tells us this is a simple
program to follow.But as I work thru the Steps:,and especially Step 4-I see it as a real challenge.-delving back into 50 years of
ME!:):) Carole, like your word game challenge~```~~~~~~~RECOVERY~~~~~R is for reflection on our past~~~~~E for
encouragement to follow the GA program~~~~~~~ C for Courage~O for the omnipresence of a HP~~~~~~~V for Victory
over this addiction of CG~~~~E for Effort~~~~~R for Respect and Y for Years of abstinence ~~~Congratulations to all
reaching a milestone today.Hope everyone enjoys the reat off the weekend. (((((((Sasha's List))))))))) llove, Genek Hi all,
Genek here a recovering compulsive gambler,and so happy to be on this recovery journey with all of you¿old timers and new
cgs.Welcome to everyone who is hurting,,struggling to overcome this insidious addiction of CG..GA tells us this is a simple
program to follow.But as I work thru the Steps:,and especially Step 4-I see it as a real challenge.-delving back into 50 years of
ME!:):) Carole, like your word game challenge~```~~~~~~~RECOVERY~~~~~R is for reflection on our past~~~~~E for
encouragement to follow the GA program~~~~~~~ C for Courage~O for the omnipresence of a HP~~~~~~~V for Victory
over this addiction of CG~~~~E for Effort~~~~~R for Respect and Y for Years of abstinence ~~~Congratulations to all
reaching a milestone today.Hope everyone enjoys the reat off the weekend. (((((((Sasha's List))))))))) llove, Genek Hi all,
Genek here a recovering compulsive gambler,and so happy to be on this recovery journey with all of you¿old timers and new
cgs.Welcome to everyone who is hurting,,struggling to overcome this insidious addiction of CG..GA tells us this is a simple
program to follow.But as I work thru the Steps:,and especially Step 4-I see it as a real challenge.-delving back into 50 years of
ME!:):) Carole, like your word game challenge~```~~~~~~~RECOVERY~~~~~R is for reflection on our past~~~~~E for
encouragement to follow the GA program~~~~~~~ C for Courage~O for the omnipresence of a HP~~~~~~~V for Victory
over this addiction of CG~~~~E for Effort~~~~~R for Respect and Y for Years of abstinence ~~~Congratulations to all
reaching a milestone today.Hope everyone enjoys the reat off the weekend. (((((((Sasha's List))))))))) llove, Genek Hi all,
Genek here a recovering compulsive gambler,and so happy to be on this recovery journey with all of you¿old timers and new
cgs.Welcome to everyone who is hurting,,struggling to overcome this insidious addiction of CG..GA tells us this is a simple
program to follow.But as I work thru the Steps:,and especially Step 4-I see

From: NJ
E-mail: Kgene1923@aol.com


Lanie Saturday, 3/8/03, 6:50 PM

Feeling really good this week -- have 21 days of staying away from those machines! Also am working my other program (food
addiction) and for the last week that has been good too. Certainly don't want to become complacent which certainly is EASY for
me. Anyway, have attended f2f and online meetings for the food but only online meetings for GA but I do have the GA schedule
and will not hestitate to go to a meeting if what I'm doing now stopped working -- "GO THE ANY LENGTHS" is what I've just got
to instill in my brian and abide by it. Thanks -- I'm so glad I discovered this Hub -- it is absolutely wonderful. Lanie Las Vegas,
NV

E-mail: lanersf@aol.com
Last Day Gambled: 2/15/03


Jennifer Saturday, 3/8/03, 6:13 PM

Hi Gang! Having a wonderful, relaxed, bet-free day here. ~~~ JANIE, I hope you're feeling better today. I can so relate to that
feeling of not being comfortable in your skin. Nothing seems to comfort you then. ~~~ VICKI, if I haven't told you lately, I sure
admit your spunk. You're so open and willing to share. I'd sure love to see you gals in Oregon. I know you'll have an awesome
time! ~~~ DELORES, I'm glad you decided to take the snow home with you. We're finally getting some milder weather here.
You know where I live now, so anytime you need to get away, you know where to find us. Pick up JONI on the way. We'll make
it a party. :) ~~~ I was thinking today was a diverse group we are. We all have different triggers and lines we won't cross. For
example, I haven't set foot in a physical casino since last spring. Hate the places. Yet I found the online casinos (which I know
many of you wouldn't dream of venturing into ... and all for the better that you don't!). I just think we need to remember that
it's hard to apply one single set of rules to 100 people. There needs to be some give and take. Acceptance and tolerance. We're
all learning, right? :) ~~~ JUDY, you and I share the same LDG. Let's keep it that way for a very long time, okay? We're all in
this together! ~~~ CAROLE, enjoy your weekend. I can only imagine what a wonderful hostess you are. ~~~
CONGRATULATIONS TO EVERYONE CELEBRATING A MILESTONE TODAY!

From: Missouri
E-mail: jennifermo@kc.rr.com
Last Day Gambled: 3/06/03 -- the last day of my old life


Marie Saturday, 3/8/03, 6:07 PM

Evening All,~~~~~Thanks to everyone who sent me e- mails, cards and posted here to give me congrats on reaching 30 days.
It really does feel great! What a difference from one month ago when I first posted on this site. I was in such a bad place. So
full of guilt, remorse and dread. But, things sure are looking up and, I believe I can beat this beast! ~~~~~~ You all have
been such a Godsend to me with the encouragement and advice I've received from some of you via e-mails and by reading
everyone's daily posts. ((((Carole)))) Thanks so much dear lady, keep sending me those gems. You've been such a help.
((((Sue)))) Congrats on 14 days. Just wonderful. I still want to have that cup of coffee! It's a shame we haven't gotten together
yet. ((((JoniB)))) Congrats, you are such an inspiration. ~~~~~~ Found a book today called, Losing Your Shirt, Recovery for
Compulsive Gamblers and Their Families. So, I'm off to do some reading. Hope everyone is having a wonderful gamble free
weekend. I do so love this place!!! Love and Hugs to All, Marie

From: Rhode Island
E-mail: MBrasi@aol.com
Last Day Gambled: 02/08/03


Dave Of Beckenham Saturday, 3/8/03, 6:02 PM

My name is Dave I am a compulsive Gambler and will be till the day I DIE! Today was a good day. Yes we got things done but
also I was able to value myself and my home. Talking to freind was able to say what I thought was fair and not fair. We
discussed and came to agreement. Signed settled and then the crunch he wanted to collect some thing tomorrow. I was willing
to let him take it with out paying me. Pay later all in one lump. He said no he prefered to settle as we go. I was willing and able
to trust him. Some one else said to me I will pay you later and I was not happy with that. So I said no you get it when you pay
for it. Another boundary which I did not want be breached. Now Shirley & sat and cahtted how the day went and we both were
happy. It started out late not as I wanted but came to closure with both of us happy. Another 4 boxes loaded. I think it will hit
me when things come to closure here. My home, sorry our home. Spoke to Mark he sounded good. We have a 3 foot woody
pecker which has a long story to it. But the thing is it annoys Mark. So shirley asked why are you taking it with us. I smiled you
know why? You know if Mark gets it he will feed it to his dogs. LOL we both laughed. It is not a problem with me. What ever. A
joke, a reminder where I have come from. I Had 2 peaces of paper today and managed to do most of what was planned. Far
better than procastranation, standing still , justifying do squat. I feel I am on a edge reay to drop off to sleep. To be at peace
with closure to a good day. Long may it continue. Us all growing closer together. Love Dave

From: Uk For Now!
E-mail: gadaveuk@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 1992 August


JoniB Saturday, 3/8/03, 5:38 PM

((((((((JUDY))))))Welcome back precious:):) together we do this..odaat....Changing me...Changing You..and together we
discover the Beauty and peace in Recovery..awwwwwwwwwwe...soooo happy your Back!! Precious WORDS..LOVE, CARING,
SUPPORT, that Exchange..yep...we be Doin it:):):)Sooooo GRAND!! just simply love you precious souls:):)((((((Sasha's
List))))yep shes a sweetie:)..Awesome bunch YOU!!!.You are Angels Among us..each of you..Thankyou! for keeping me on my
Path...Gods Blessings to you..as they are revealed one by one ((((HUGS)))))embrace them..k..You Are Worth it..and sooooooo
Much More:):) ysir, who loves you!! ThankYOU ..as our Precious Bevr always says..For being that Power Greater then myself
alone:):):) ps..(((Delores))))..you are most welcome..how it works...changing me...changing You..that beautiful exchange..as
we all grow and learn on this amazing Journey....thankyou too:):) R for restful nites..that gift...E..for Each one of You is a Gift
to me...C..Caring..that numbness is gone..O..Ohhh what Joy Im finding in Today. V..Very Grateful to be living
Today!!.E..Everyone here is my teacher..R..remember to always treat others.and you so want to be treated..Y..You ..theirs only
one Wonderful You..be kind to you..treat you Good..because you are so loved:)....

From: Nebr
Last Day Gambled: 7/08/00 Grateful


Dal B. Saturday, 3/8/03, 4:54 PM

Good Afternoon/evening, What a meeting! We had a massive 20 people arrive. 1 new, 1 returning. I think the most soul
searing words, came from the returner. You could easily sense her regret, her shame and her sorrow. Many eyes were wet after
she spoke. But she's wanting to continue, to try and defeat/destroy this desire. There's 2 who will soon hit 1 WHOLE YEAR.
There's one with 10 months (Or make that 2) and several with 7 months. Another CG and I received our 2 months mementos. I
look around and see a couple others who we regard as "The old timers" (2 years or more) and I feel one thing in that room.
LOVE. They all NEED this, they WANT this and they are more then happy to share with all of us, their highs and lows. How can I
fail to succeed, with all this in front of me? (((((HUGS))))) Dal (I can make it) B.
From: Vancouver, WA
E-mail: dalbert_b@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 12/31/02


Carole Saturday, 3/8/03, 4:27 PM

Hey, quiet in here, my company will here any minute, but if you are bored tonight, in the beginning when I would hang out
here 24/7 Linda P or Jim would start a word game..like say you use the word R*E*C*O*V*E*R*Y...now you have to think of a
word for each later that you find is important to you Today..ex: R..is for respect that I have rediscovered E..is for experiences
to not repeat C is for community I treasure here at the HUB..oh gotta go, the doorbell is ringing..have fun with the game,
makes you think...love, CArole


BrendaR Saturday, 3/8/03, 3:30 PM

HI Judy!! I so know what you mean about leaving yourself at the front door and becoming someone else. That's exactly what I
did. In the "normal" days, I was in charge of our money. Bills were paid on time, we had great credit and I was proud to be in
that position. I have gambled for a very long time, but not compulsively. That kinda was like a little each day until I was totaly
out of control. And that lasted too long!!! I know for me, and this is just my opinion, what keeps me from going back is I
remember the night I "hit bottom", the pain is still fresh. I want to always remember that but I never want to FEEL that pain
again. I do go to f2f meetings and I have the hub.Hugs to all of Sasha's list. Isn't she just a sweetie. YSIR

From: Okla
E-mail: BrndMudd@cs.com
Last Day Gambled: 2-15-03


Vicki B Saturday, 3/8/03, 3:05 PM

Good Evening Hubsters! I am a compulsive person...gambling, eating, shopping...when in my addictive behavior, I just want to
do more, more, more! Grateful for this day in recovery! I am so blest to be part of this cyber support group! Yep, you are an
awesome bunch! Whew! Nick and I just got in from a freezing rain storm, and the wipers weren't working! It was a very scary
18 mile expressway drive home, as I was saying prayers and stopping periodically to clean off the windshield. Thankful to be
back home in my humble little house, safe and sound. Think I will bake something to take the chill off, and I just love the
aromas that fill the air! Seems like a hot cocoa night. Wishing all a safe and serene Saturday night! Hugs YSIR, Vicki B [1-810-
239-9958, just in case you want to chat. Thsnk-you (((Joni))) and (((Jaybird))) for reaching out and giving me a jingle today!]

From: MI
Last Day Gambled: 10/11/02


Jim A. (gr8_move@yahoo.com) Saturday, 3/8/03, 1:43 PM

Hello everyone ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Welcome back ((((((((((((((((((JUDY))))))))))))))))) appreciate your sharing
your experience, there's *H*O*P*E* as together WE share our strength, Keep It So Simple, and Keep Coming Back (that's
what I am gonna do today, with my HP, just for today)!! ~~~ Keep the Faith and Enjoy the Journey!!! ~~~ Peace.

From: Davison (City of Flags), Michigan
E-mail: gr8_move@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: January 23, 1996


marc Saturday, 3/8/03, 12:44 PM

(((((((((((((((sasha)))))))))))))), thats a big hug for all you do!!!!!! luv ya, marc


Judy Saturday, 3/8/03, 11:58 AM

My name is Judy and I am a compulsive gambler...a fact I have known for some time and in the past have made some half-
hearted attempts at doing something about it. I used to come here and post, went to some f2f meetings and then decided that
I didn't need the steps, I didn't need to take my inventory, I didn't need to depend upon a Higher Power to help me, because I
was different, I was a compulsive gambler, but I was going to control my gambling. The truth is, I am a compulsive gambler
who has no control over anything..especially gambling. I am back here once again, humbled, ashamed, disgusted with myself,
and desperate to get my life back and get this beast off my back. I went to a f2f meeting on Thursday (my last day gambled)
and I almost didn't go because it was the meeting I used to go to and I was so ashamed. The weather has been so horrible
here lately and it is an hour drive to the meeting so I decided that if there was just even a little tiny bit of snow in the sky, I
wasn't going to go (my way of making excuses). Well, wouldn't you know it, Thursday was probably the first half-way nice day
we have had around here in a long time..dry roads..not a flake in the sky. So I went..prepared to worse about myself than I
already did...and I walked in that room and it was like I had never left. These people welcomed me back with open arms and
open hearts. It was a wonderful meeting and I am so glad I went. I have reached a suicidal point again because of my
gambling, I have almost destroyed a relationship. I have lied, cheated, manipulated, stole, cried, yelled, and every other thing I
could do just so I could keep gambling. When I walk into a casino I leave "Judy" at the front door and this other person takes
over, I can't explain it, but I have a feeling many of you know what I'm talking about. I don't like that person I become, she
isn't me at all. I was thinking that the only way to get rid of that person was to get rid of me, but then for some reason I
started thinking about GA and this site and all the good things I learned here and heard. I know I am rambling, and I will cut
this off now. I know in my heart and soul I don't have many chances left to find recovery, and I'm ready to get rid of this
gambling beast. One day at a time..one hour at a time..one minute at a time..whatever it takes, my life is hanging on a thin
thread right now but I'm hanging on with everything I have right now, and I have a feeling that if I just "Let go and let God", I
can make it with the help of GA, my Higher Power, and all you wonderful people here. Thank you for listening and I hope you
all have a wonderful, gamble-free day. I will not gamble today..not in any shape, size, or form. Judy

From: New York
E-mail: judyann_p@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 03-06-03


Tracy Saturday, 3/8/03, 11:53 AM

Hello HUBBERS. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{SJANE}}}}}}}}}}} I also pndered the question of total abstinence when it came to
recovering from one's addictions. For example, compulsive over eaters can not completely stop eating, they HAVE to eat
something! I am not sure what the answer is. Other forms of gambling didn't ruin my life like the vid poker machines and the
blackjack tables. I played reg poker games for years and never bet and lost like I did on the boats. I know I could play bingo
and not care if I went back or not. I suppose, in my opinion, one can specify what TYPE of gambling gives them the problem
and abstain from that. I know GA disagrees with that principle but I feel that while our addictions may be similar, they are as
different as the reasons WHY we are addicted. Now everyone is going to yell at me but I am not giving up my yearly poker
game with my college freinds! So.......let the yelling begin <smile> Thanks to all who have responded to my posts.

From: st louis
Last Day Gambled: 3/3/03


Delores Saturday, 3/8/03, 11:22 AM
Good Morning to all of you!!! CONGRATS TO ALL THOSE REACHING MILESTONES (((JONI))) another month!!! This morning is
soooo good. It was snowing pretty good this morning so I didn't get out to the F2F meeting.....but I got a good nights sleep,
then slept for another hour this morning....I needed it all...GRATITUDE is my journey today. Catching myself and others doing
this right today is my journey today. I have so many things to be grateful for. This site, my sponsor, the wonderful people I've
met (((SASHA'S LIST))), people at the conference, my family, a supportive husband, a job I like......My HP is sooo good to me.
Today he can take care of everything that I see as I problem. I will find peace in gratitude....and be kind to myself by not
"shoulding" all over myself :-) (((JAYBIRD))) it's so good to have you back and posting everyday. I loved meeting you, you just
have the biggest heart, and can hug so tight! ((((JENNIFER))), I wish I could be like you in so many ways...the way you shared
at our meeting at the KC Conference, what a gift to speak so well from your heart.... (((JONI))) thank you for always being
there, and making me feel so good about myself, and what I am doing, and for helping me find my way....you are my gaurdian
angel in GA. And so many of you out there, that speak to me through your posts that don't even know how much they mean to
me. Everyone, have a wonderful, peaceful, bet free day, finding things to be grateful for.....just by coming out here whether to
post just read or both, you are doing things right, and can be grateful for that! Much Love to you all! YSIR Delores

From: Twin Cities, MN
E-mail: mntoots@msn.com
Last Day Gambled: 1/1/03


Saturday, 3/8/03, 11:07 AM

AS BILL SEES IT - TRUE INDEPENDENCE OF THE SPIRIT: (I have substituted AA for GA in the following) The more we become
willing to depend upon a Higher Power, the more independent we actually are. Therefore, dependence as GA practices it is
really a means of gaining true independence of the spirit. At the level of everyday living, it is startling to discover how
dependent we really are, and how unconscious of the dependence. Every modern house has electric wiring carrying power and
light to its interior. By accepting with delight our dependence upon this marvel of science, we find ourselves personally more
independent, more comfortable and secure. Power flow just where it is needed. Silently and surely, electricity, that strange
energy so few people understand meets our simplest daily needs. Though we readily accept this principle of healthy
dependence in many of our temporal affairs, we often fiercely resist the identical principle when asked to apply it as a means of
growth in the life of the spirit. Clearly, we shall never know freedom under God until we try to seek His will for us. The choice is
ours.


Vicki B Saturday, 3/8/03, 10:12 AM
Good Afternoon Hub Family. I just returned home from work. 4 hrs at time and a half! Need those extra $$$ for my trip to
Portland in less than two weeks! Wishing all a wonderful day in recovery! Hugs, Vicki B [1-810-239-9958; if anyone wants to
chat I am home!]

From: MI
E-mail: human53@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 10/11/02


Lloyd T. Saturday, 3/8/03, 10:12 AM

Good morning hubbers~~~~What a good start to the day! A morning run, a cup of joe, and spending a few moments reading
the heartfelt sharing going on here. Last night was a good f2f meeting. Our group had four of its five regulars there and we
tried a different meeting format as outlined in the red "A New Beginning" book. We had a Comment-therapy meeting where the
member had a choice of receiving comments from others right after their share. It was such a good experience for me. We
have grown togther one meeting at a time and have been able to trust each other and value each others thoughts. The result
was a 2-hour meeting with only four of us! I'm grateful. It reminds me of the Hub where I have recieved many comments from
the recovering folks here. And I add that not all the comments I have received from the Hub have been totally friendly or
encouraging to me. But I'm still grateful. Thank you for your comments. It's important to me to hear from others who are like
me. I admit, I am not always the happy, cheerful and encouaging type. It's difficult for me the be happy for others when I have
a tough time being happy for myself. Chalk it up as another character defect: Self-centeredness. Thanks for this program and
giving me a method for identifying my defects and a method for putting some effort towards it. Thanks to all. You are all my
teachers in this journey. Thank you God for leading me here to help me hear you through the Hub. For me, I imagine in the
"Footprints" poem that those 'single' set of footprints turned into the 'double' sets of footprints right here at the Hub. Is it a
realization for me the He set me down from His arms right here to let stand on my two feet? Woah. Feelings...Congratulations
for Today. ((LIST)) LloydT

From: Kalamazoo, MI
Last Day Gambled: 12.04.01 (and not today!)


sue Saturday, 3/8/03, 9:59 AM

Hi all! Just got back from my f2f meeting - celebrating an anniversary today. It was a very good meeting - lots of people, lots of
warmth, lots of support. It was a nice beginning to a Saturday morning (as well as all the melting snow I might add). (((( Joni
and Marie)))) Congrats on your milestones! Marie - 30 days - I can't wait for mine although I know I need to ODAAT. Joni - too
tired to count yours but it's almost three years from what I see. AWESOME! Proves to me that something definitely works here
with this program. Lots of urges today....working through them though (for a change)...bye for now....sue

From: massachusetts
Last Day Gambled: 02/22/03


Amber Saturday, 3/8/03, 9:41 AM

HUGS.........Congrats to milestoners today!! ((((Marie)))) on thirty days! And our (((Joni))) for another month on her
journey!!...(can't count that high Joni...wink!)...ysir Amber

Last Day Gambled: the last day of my old life


Daily HUGS for the HUB Family and CGS across the World Saturday, 3/8/03, 9:37 AM

(((((AletaE, Amber, Andy-sydney, AnitaA,, Ann, Anna, AnnaC, Arnie W, Audrey, Barb, Barbara-Rella, BeckyB, BevR, Brandy,
Brenda , Brenda A, Brenda R, Brett, Cali, Cole, Colleen, Carole, CarolynK, Charlie K, CharlieP, Chatcat,Cindy D, Cindy H,
CindyW, Collette, Curtis L, Dal B, Damaris, Dan,Dark_Lady, Dave,Dave- Wash.DC, Dboy,DC, Dean, Deb B, Deb D, Deb G, Del,
Delores, Denise, DennisP, Dina, Don C, DonnaC, Dr. Jim, Dodger, Dorothe, Doug L, Emily, Emjay,FEO, Fiddler,GaryK, GeneK,
Gordon D. Gramers, Howie C, Jake A,Janie J, Jaybird, JayL, Jennifer, Jeannie, Jim A, Jim K, Joeanne, John H, John M,
JoniB,Josie, Jude, Karen, Kat, Katielyn, Kathy, Kathy S, Ken, Ken F, Kinnon, Lanie, LdyQP, Lenett, Lily , Linda C, Liz, Lloyd, Lu
S, Madge, Maggie, Marc, Marie, Mark, Mark M, Marty, Mary, Mary J, Marym downunder, MattW, Max H, , Melissa- sasha,
Michelle, Miranda, Nance, Nancy M, NICKY, Nita, Okiemaw, Pat L, Patty, Paula, Pete,Purdell, Rachel, Ramona, RandyM, Ray H,
ReneeB, ReneeC, Rich_DET, Richr, Robert, Robin H, Rose, Sal, Sandy, SandyK, Scott, R, Skogie1999, SharonJ, Sheila L, Sheryl,
S Jane, Sorry, Suzanne, Sue, SusanP, Steve, Steven, SylviB, Tara, Tino (sidepocketkid), Tna-Tina, Todd, Tom P, TomS, Tracy,
Valorie, Vel M, VickiB, Vida, Wayne, Williamk, Wilma, Ymg/Ymg, Zanna, OUR LOVED ONES and EVERYONE))))) <160>

Last Day Gambled: ONE DAY AT A TIME- Peace out


S Jane Saturday, 3/8/03, 9:11 AM
Oh bye the way... Gambler free today and feeling pretty good.


S Jane Saturday, 3/8/03, 9:06 AM

Just pondering over a thought. If recovering compulsive gamblers should never gamble, and recovering alcoholics should never
drink and recovering drug addicts should never take drugs, what about compulsive shoppers.??? Are they required to NEVER
purchasing a single item again. nothing? ever? What got me thinking about this was that question about bingo yesterday.. and
some CG's not seeing bingo as an addictive activity... similiar to myself how I see purchasing and selling stocks, I just find it
difficult to see that as gambling. ( Although I know there are people who can't control that ) But than I'm a raving ( ex ) video
poker player with no control over that. Did I make any sence at all, or just to myself lol. Just an observation.

Last Day Gambled: Feb 28


Dal B. Saturday, 3/8/03, 8:17 AM

Good morning, keep on keeping on as usual. Recovery? Yes, advancing? not really. Temptations? alot! ++++++++++++++
Ahhh..I'm heading out to the local resale shops. Going to wander today (Till meeting time) as I can afford to do it and maybe
I'll find something I like, need or can resell. :) +++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Oh..I really shouldn't tease people. I
really do apologize to everyone on last night chat. I know I can stop myself by simply doing something which involves
understanding why I want to go, as opposed to thinking what will happen if I do go.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Simply put, it's not our desire or "need" but it's the "Stinking Thinking" that
is the most problematical of this. We "Think" we can control ourselves. We "Think" we didn't do THAT bad. We "Think" we can
change it all back to normal. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ We need to "Think" our way back to a normal way of
life instead. :) Yeah, that's the ticket! (Nope, not a scratch off either!) (((((HUGS))))) Dal (I think therefore, I won't gamble) B.

From: Vancouver, WA
E-mail: dalbert_b@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 12/31/02

Carole Saturday, 3/8/03, 7:43 AM

ITS A NEW DAY.. Carole here, recovering cg... ((Vicki)) feelings can come out sideways:)good one! Self-Esteem is the sister of
integrity..natural by- product of honorable living..peace is a treasure without measure...thanks Joni..this reflection today is
awesome, they all are, but if I don't live in my truth, I die a little in my soul..chunks were killed during my action days, luckily
things are coming back to my "normal"..and its great...was up way too early this morning..6:30..turned on the puter, read a bit
and went back to bed..back again to say good day..and carry on with the plans for my dinner with dear friends..(((Marie))))30
days, way to go..(((SUE)))14 days, fabulous, those first days for me were so precious..and its no wonder...such an addiction,
hurray for all milestoners..but for you just getting away from the beast, well, I have a special place in my heart for all of
you..life is about cycles, up..down...up ..... down....up...down..get the picture, feel those emotions, deal with them, talk to a
trusted friend, journal, visit the Hub..go for a walk, but STOP THE INSANITY...recovery is where its at..and "RECOVERY
ROCKS"...hey, I am feeling alive again, time for some breakfast, put the tunes on loud...clean our abode, cook..bake...and
prepare for guests..Sasha..cooking is great therapy,love that list...((((((EVERYONE))))))))good day..Seize it, and make the best
of whatever happens today.. (((Lindac))) weddings are so much fun, so joyous, I LOVED ALL THE PREPARATIONS for our 2
kids' weddings, and luckily I wasn't in the thick of my addiction then....small mercy...Carpe Diem, Carole..and peace..:)

E-mail: carols136@rcgsite.org
Last Day Gambled: 03/06/2002


Amber Saturday, 3/8/03, 6:51 AM

Good morning ((ALL)).....Hugs and thankyou to everyone who expressed their views on the bingo issue.....smiles......I can live
without bingo! ((Sue))...14 days WAHOOOOOO! That's two weeks hon!...off to the meeting...big smiles!.....ysir Amber

Last Day Gambled: the last day of my old life


jaybird Saturday, 3/8/03, 6:50 AM

morning, still getting used to being home. after the wonderfull experences Patty and i had in the midwest. the longer i,m in
recovery the better it gets. smiling big here. my old gambling ways seem so long ago now, but also know that i can have that
old way of living back by just one bet. may i always be in this program, and keep you ppl close close to me. can,t do it with out
you, off to the online meeting to be with the ppl, l love. odaat. ybir jaybird

From: port angeles,wa
E-mail: srchief@prodigy.net
Last Day Gambled: 1/18/01
Saturday, 3/8/03, 6:29 AM

((((SASHAS LIST))))and BIG HUG((((MILESTONERS)))and (((((ALL)))sharing their Hearts here..the Beautiful
Exchanges..yeppers..how it workS:) REMINDER...a "Gathering OF HEARTS" this morning.. at 9:00 Central..10:00 Eastern..soo
Hope you'' join us..as we start our Weekend:):):) Beautiful shares already this morning..Thankyou:):) as our precious RichR
says..I will be back:):):) ysir, Love Joni B..


Saturday, 3/8/03, 5:59 AM

Date: Sat, 08 Mar 2003 Today's thought is: No one may abuse the truth with impunity. - R. Duane Joseph A person's integrity
is his or her own truth. To live honorably is to abide with the truth we claim as our own. Self- esteem is the sister of integrity;
it's the natural result, the by-product, of honorable living. That's why both integrity and self-esteem are affected when we
wander from the honorable path. When we have affairs, go back on our word, tell half- truths, exaggerate to get approval, we
chip away at our integrity. And any chipping away at our integrity undermines our self-esteem. This is the reason that even the
smallest dishonorable behaviors are so destructive-no matter how we justify them. If we're involved in any activity that violates
our moral code, that runs contrary to our own value system, then we're in self- esteem trouble. All the psychological
maneuvering in the world cannot and will not restore serenity to the soul if this involvement continues. Is there a basic
decision, a letting go, that must take place? Although it may take heroic effort, that turn-around decision will give wings to our
self-esteem. Peace with self is a treasure beyond measure. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Today's meditation comes from
the book Believing in Myself by Earnie Larsen and Carol Hegarty copyright 1991 sharing..ysir,love Joni B


Saturday, 3/8/03, 5:45 AM

Reflection for the Day..Merely changing my behavior, and what I say and do, doesn't prove there's been a change in my actual
inner attitude. I'm deceiving myself if I believe I can somehow completely disquise my true feelings. They'll somehow come
through, prolonging the difficulties in my relationships with others, I have to avoid half- measures in getting rid of troublesome
emotions I've been trying to hide. Have I taken an honest inventory of myself? Today I Pray..May I know that feelings will come
out somehow--sometimes barely disguised as behavior that I cannot always understand. But that perhaps is more acceptable to
me than the root emotion that caused it. May I be completely and vigilantly honest with myself. May I be given the insight that
comes through depending upon a Higher Power. Today I WILL Remember..Feelings can come out "sideways." sharing ..A Day
at a time..GA .The HUB
John H Saturday, 3/8/03, 5:43 AM

Sue~~~~~~~good questions for 14 days!~~~~~~~I think we work the steps all our lives. If I ever forget the First Step I will
be in a world of hurt. I know I need the Higher Power every day. I also make mistakes about once a year (lol), so I can't stop
inventory or asking to remove those pesky defects, or making amends. A day without the 12th step is not quite complete
either.~~~~~~As to when we move from one step to another, that is usually a natural thing, the urge to go on in the steps is
strongly in relation to our willingness to change and recover. Honesty, Openmindedness, and Willingness is H-O-W it works.
Inversely, Willingness, Honesty, and Openmindedness, is W-H-O it works for.~~~~~~~p.s., if I wanted to list everybody here
I would make a list on my wordprocessor, save it, and then just copy and paste it each time I used it. JH

From: Flint MI
E-mail: human37@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 2-7-02


Saturday, 3/8/03, 5:35 AM

The HUB would like to Congratulate all those reaching another Milestone Today!! Jim L 12-8-96 Joni B. 7-8-00..Shawn N. 8-8-
93..Max L. 3-8-97..6 Years!! Dennis A. 3-8-99..4 Years!!Louise R 8-8- 99 ..Eric Koon 12-08-01..Kara M. 2-8-02..Dawn E 6-8-
02..Neil M. 6-8-02..Debi C 4-8-02..Alice E. 8-8-02 Kathy C. 12-08-02.90 Days..Brett J. 1-8-03..60 Days Marie B 2-8-03..30
DAYS!! CLAP CLAP CLAP..ThankYOU for your ES & HOPE!!! CELEBRATE "TODAY"!!!:):)


Saturday, 3/8/03, 5:14 AM

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "I believe that none of us ever fails at anything. Every time we create something we are successful at
creation. However, we do make some poor choices about what we create." - Author Unknown - (In Sharing, Vicki B. 10/11/02,
a compulsive gambler, who has been a master at creating chaos in my life! Focused on making the right choices for today!
Wishing all celebrating personal milestones a hearty congratulations...you inspire! to those who are new here, WELCOME! We
need you, as much as you may need us! We are in this together, working on recovery One Day At A Time!Hugs, Vicki)


Linda C Saturday, 3/8/03, 5:08 AM
Good morning Hub posters & can't forget lurkers. Doing well here. Keeping busy..makes a person wonder how they ever had
time to gamble. I am so thankful to be in recovery. I have a daughter getting married in May and we are really having a good
time with the planning and stuff. Now if I was still gambling she'd be out on her own & I'd be missing out on the most
important time of her life. I can now be focused on whats important in life and share myself with the important people in my
life. Couldn't do that when I was gambling. Am very grateful. Congrats to all the milestones and especially to ((Carole)).
Haven't had a chance to tell you how happy I am for you. One year!! Thats great. When I first posted back in July you were the
only one who responded to me by email. That meant so much to me then and I will always remember you for that and also for
all the ES&H you share with us here at the Hub. You're a wonderful lady!! Have a good gamble free week-end
((everyone)):):):)Linda C

From: WI
E-mail: lindacal2001@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 03-01-03


Patty Saturday, 3/8/03, 5:07 AM

Morning All.. Lot of money talk this morning....lol...when I came into the meetings first...i didn't even have the money to put in
the bag..at the meetings...no one ever said anything to me...I love this programme cause its got nothing to do with money...for
years it was the money the money we had lost to gambling.. But in doing the steps and working on my own recovery...I can
see...money has nothing to do with it..really...this disease not only took all our money but also took my mind....and that was
scary for me to see...someone asked how long would it take to do the steps....That for me....will be the rest of my life...but in
going to a meeting the very first day....I was doing the first step...and the second one too...asking for help....when i first
started I wanted to learn the steps so badly and a member said to me...look this programe is a simple programe for
complicated people....This is so true..in handing over my finincial problems to a H.P. it has all worked out well...if you had said
this to me six years ago...I would not have believed it...this is only my experence......but by taking steps and doing little things
around my bills baby steps...and one day at a time...i still have my business T-day.....this I thought was not possible...but the
one thing i did have to do...was take some action about paying them...so I went to each person that I owed and promised to
pay some bit each week...this was very hard to do..I had a lot of false pride.....six years later...some are paid...and for me....I
just stay in the Day and know i am right where i should be... Thanks for listening to me.... Patty.....

From: Ireland
E-mail: oconnorpatti@hotmail.com
rich r Saturday, 3/8/03, 4:50 AM

Hi all, rich r, compulsive. Wow, what a 24-hour period. Yesterday I got to see the homebound GA member. We watched
another member show us an instructional CD about slot machines. This was a preview for next Wednesday's Compulsive
Gambling class at the local University. It is part of our GA outreach to students who may someday become counselors for CGs
in Michigan. Anyway, this CD allows one to input the amount of money brought to the casino, the denomination played each
time, and the pace of play and then watch the computer simulate the slot machine and show you how much time it takes
before one goes broke, i.e. the casino has ALL your stake. There's a lot more to it than that, but it should be a differnet tool for
the students to use with their clients. We will also have GA and Gam-Anon members sharing their stories and taking questions
from the audience. We have been doing this with the same professor for 4 years now. ~~~ Then I went on to my weekend AA
conference... WOW. Going to a conference is like going to 10 to 20 recovery meetings...all in a row. I got home at 2am and my
mind was racing, finally got to sleep and now it's time to go back for the first talk/panel at 9am. Oh well, I can catch up on my
sleep some other time. ~~~ Thanks. I'll be back to share more from the conference :-)

From: detroit


sue Saturday, 3/8/03, 3:52 AM

Good morning Hubsters...Day 14 today...YIPPEE!!! I have a question to throw out. . .How long does one think that it takes to
work the steps? I guess I was under the impression that it takes a while to "progress" between them all. And that the process is
also a continuing thing. I'm a little confused as to when I "officially" begin a new step. Maybe I am not coming through clear
here - I have always been a little confused as to the steps - it was just something that crossed my mind as I was sitting here
reading the posts from yesterday. ((Sasha's List)). I wish I had the patience to type everyone's name!!! The one thing that I do
realize this time is this - In order for me to be successful in my recovery - I need to work these 12 steps on a daily basis.
Because of the craziness at home this week - I have not been to a GA f2f meeting in about 4 days. When this happens - I get
that nasty thinking in my head that is so unhealthy for me. But sometimes - when I go to a lot of f2f meetings, it feels very
excessive to me. (can anyone relate to that?) So what is the answer? I know it's a matter of what is right for that individual.
When I get lazy about driving to the meetings, it is that same old personality that loves to gamble. I wrote all that because I
am starting to understand just what this nasty disease is all about. I guess it helps to see it written in front of you
sometimes....Thanks for letting me ramble!!! To all Hubsters - have a great Saturday! It is supposed to be in the 40's here (a
heat wave). ysir, sue

From: massachusetts
E-mail: suemass2000@aol.com
Last Day Gambled: 02/22/03


sasha Saturday, 3/8/03, 12:33 AM

(((BrendaR)))thank you for sharing and have a blessed night (((Jennifer))) yummy, sounds like you had a nice evening...thanks
for sharing..Have a blessed night. Love ysir Mels

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


sasha Saturday, 3/8/03, 12:21 AM

(((Janie J))) This is eactly why this hub is here..I look at this hub as a haven, a living and live journal, a brain dump, a place to
release, to question, to make a statement, to search and discover.and yes, we all do have some of those days or nights we cant
seem to shake off....If you have not seen this funny, cute, but reaaly hits the point, story, THE DONKEY story...I am sending it
to you...Just like to hear you laughing!! Our moods are a part of real life...you will wake up to a beautiful morning. ((Wilma and
Okiema and Jonib)) have a blessed night. Love ysir Mels

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03
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Hub Posts Sunday 3/9/03
Sasha Sunday, 3/9/03, 10:54 PM

WOW, what a great day with great reads. CONGRATULATIONS on the milestones!!! Welcome to the returning posters!!!
Welcome to the new comers..For those having a trying time, I can relate to those times and embrace you with love and
support. I was thinking about what Reality is for me. My philosophy may differ with some, however our differencs are not right
or wrong, just different. For Me, Reality is based on perceptions. There is only one reality and that is my own reality. People
shift and change their perceptions, thus, their reality today may differ tomorrow...it is all a part of ones growth and education. I
do not live anothers reality, because each of our perceptions are born from our experiences, however, I may decide to change
my perception to agree with another, I then only create a newer version of my own reality.. My reality has gone through many
changes, due to new discoveries, awareness, education, observations and sharing. I am responsible for that reality. Today it
may be one way, but tomorrow I may have another experience that may change a perception. Two years ago, my reality did
not include CG, however today that is my reality. Therefore, I seek for tools and belief's that work for me..since I am the only
one that can except or change my perceptions, I then exam, question and digest any new information before it becomes a
reality for me. . I enjoyed thinking about Reality as you can tell. hehehe thought deeply about how I indentified it. Sometimes
we all live with perceptions we believe to be right...that then shapes our reality... As time passes, those perceptions may need
re examination. For me, I take close examination of my perceptions because things around me change contantly....and
perceptions that are stagnate or remain hardfast, need to be re eavlutated to meet the current situation. However, there are
perceptions that do not need any change. Thus I like to keep an open mind and allow room for flexibility. And with any thing I
hear, touch or taste, I then make my own decision to change that perception..then I can integrate this new perception- - no
one else can do that. Thus each day I learn, share, understand, absorb and digest my perceptions. Everyone has differing
perceptions, that is great, for we can learn from one another...and take what we beleive will work for us. Well, off to bed to
prepare for another beautiful day and succefful work day!! Have a grand night and thanks for allowing me to share my
thoughts. Strength, love and peace out. S

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


Dave Of Beckenham Sunday, 3/9/03, 10:18 PM

My name is Dave I am a compulsive Gambler and will be till the day I DIE! Today at 6 am I woke up tired. Honesty means 2
things to me. By what I say. But more important by telling it how I feel. The sadness of it all I lied to myself. Thank shirley got
involved with the deception. Lie follows lie. If I have that first bet the lies start all over again. Step one is being able to go back
time and time again and understand that you are free of all feeling towards your addictions. Resentments, pain, passion, even
once I abstained I still had feelings towards the addiction. Understanding those feelings were very important. Then forgiving
your self.? Each day I have a choice to do the walk or do the talk. Only I know the truth. But the easy option is to pretend. Oh I
was very good at that. The hurt child inside was used to that. Hiding in a cupboard to escape my fears. Then grown up, hiding
in my addiction when I could not cope with my feelings. How do you find out how to be yourself? To be one honest soul. To not
be tied with fear of failure again and again. You can take money away from the Compulive Gambler but you cannot take the
addiction away, it has to be given up freely! Maturity was word I knew very little about. The hurt child did not want to grow up.
Fear of being hurt. The hurt child was used to the ones he loved hurting him. So that hurt child needed to learn to trust.
Memories of the sad child alone in the playground, feeling lost and forlone. The little child always suffered sickness of one sort.
So one can understand the lack of trust. Victims making victims. Who grow up to pass on their pain frustration fear onto those
they love. How sad it all is. Yet an understanding helps the forgiveness. I was not born evil. It is childhood events which led me
to be the man I am today. I can hide like the hurt child or change things. I can avoid feelings or understand them and let go.
Frustrations always relate to some one or some thing I cannot control. I still now and again need the serenity prayer to let go,
to stop it turning to resentment. I am very proud and preveliged to be a small part of GA and what it stands for. Pride is some
thing I lost a long time ago and I am getting it back by doing good, doing the walk. Ignorance is not the excuse I Use very
often now. If I am not sure I ask. Is this me? To think I was so badly damaged that in recovery if a lady gave me a hug I use to
go stiff like a board. Now I have learnt to let love in. To let the hurt child trust again and be safe in his world. Today. Love to
every one. Dave.

From: Uk For Now!
E-mail: gadaveuk@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 1992 August


AND PRAYERS TO THE HUB FAMILY AND CS'S ACROSS THE WORLD Sunday, 3/9/03, 8:31 PM

Last Day Gambled: ONE DAY AT AT TIME - PEACE OUT


Nightly Hugs to the HUB Family and CG'S across the World Sunday, 3/9/03, 8:30 PM

(((((AletaE, Amber, Andy-sydney, AnitaA,, Ann, Anna, AnnaC, Arnie W, Audrey, Barb, Barbara-Rella, BeckyB, BevR, Brandy,
Brenda , Brenda A, Brenda R, Brett, Cali, Cole, Colleen, Carole, CarolynK, Charlie K, CharlieP, Chatcat,Cindy D, Cindy H,
CindyW, Collette, Curtis L, Dal B, Damaris, Dan,Dark_Lady, Dave,Dave- Wash.DC, Dboy,DC, Dean, Deb B, Deb D, Deb G, Del,
Delores, Denise, DennisP, Dina, Don C, DonnaC, Dr. Jim, Dodger, Dorothe, Doug L, Emily, Emjay,FEO, Fiddler,GaryK, GeneK,
Gordon D. Gramers, Howie C, Jake A,Janie J, Jaybird, JayL, Jennifer, Jeannie, Jim A, Jim K, Joeanne, John H, John M,
JoniB,Josie, Jude,JUDY, Karen, Kat, Katielyn, Kathy, Kathy S, Ken, Ken F, Kinnon, Lanie, LdyQP, Lenett, Lily , Linda C, Liz,
Lloyd, Lu S, Madge, Maggie, Marc, Marie, Mark, Mark M, Marty, Mary, Mary J, Marym downunder, MattW, Max H, , Melissa-
sasha, Michelle, Miranda, Nance, Nancy M, NICKY, Nita, Okiemaw, Pat L, Patty, Paula, Pete,Purdell, Rachel, Ramona, RandyM,
Ray H, ReneeB, ReneeC, Rich_DET, Richr, Robert, Robin H, Rose,Rose-Adrian, Sal, Sandy, SandyK, Scott, R, Skogie1999,
SharonJ, Sheila L, Sheryl, S Jane, Sorry, Suzanne, Sue, SusanP, Steve, Steven, SylviB, Tara, Tino (sidepocketkid), Tna-Tina,
Todd, Tom P, TomS, Tracy, Valorie, Vel M, VickiB, Vida, Wayne, Williamk, Wilma, Ymg/Ymg, Zanna, OUR LOVED ONES and
EVERYONE))))) <162>

Last Day Gambled: ONE DAY AT A TIME - PEACE OUT
Tracy Sunday, 3/9/03, 8:05 PM

HIYA HUB I enjoyed reading the posts today very much. {{{{{{{{{{{{DAVE from the UK}}}}}}}}}}}} I can appreciate your
fear of vulnerability. I have alot fo fear associated with recovery. Even saying the word makes me afraid. I don't even like the
word because it implies so much disfunction; so muc weakness. So I use "not gambling" hahahah So far so good. I have been
working so much that I haven't even had time to gamble if I wanted to. Unfortunately that doesn't mean more money, just
more stress. One hubtser, when commenting on my inability to embrace GA said to "dive right in." It just doesn't suit me. I am
not sure where I am right now. I keep reading, posting, doing the 20 Q's and not driving to the boat. So that's it for now. Luv
ya folks <smile>

From: st louis
Last Day Gambled: 3/3/03


Charlie P Sunday, 3/9/03, 7:47 PM

Charlie P here web master for the Hub. I have noticed that a few have posted their phone numbers on the message board.
Please, Please, do not post your phone numbers out here in cyber space. This is important for 3 reasons. Someone can find out
your name and address. Thirdly, Hub liability. If someone would like to head up a phone list that we can email to each other as
its updated, would be a good avenue for phone numbers. Just have to be sure that we know the folks well eonugh before we
add them to the list. Just a thought. YBIR Charlie P

From: Live in Mississippi
E-mail: cp044@bellsouth.net


Lloyd T. Sunday, 3/9/03, 7:32 PM

Good night hub family. I thank the Great Spirit that I have a place to come to be with other CGers, if no good reason other than
to chat to another CG. It means so much. Want to share topic of disscussion from my group. Talked about how the 20
Questions helps me keep coming back. It was the proof I needed back then and still the proof today that I am. I don't want to
be, but I am. I mentioned that I would like to have a video clip from the parking lot surveillance at the casino or track. I
coulnd't get to the table fast enough. Seeing myself sprinting from my car to the front door would be hilarious viewing, if not
downright repulsing. Another fellow mention that question 21 should be "Have you lied to conceal gambling activities?" (I've
heard this mentioned often and I agree that I answer yes to this too) Thanks for being here hubbers. Do any of you have a
good "Question 21?" I love to hear. THanks to all of you who take the time to encourage. You guys are uplifting. Thanks for
getting me through. I now have a good project to get me through. Can I spell R-E-C-O-V-E-R-Y too? ~~~~~~~~~~I'll be
coming back. LloydT

From: Kalamazoo, MI
E-mail: kislloydt@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 12.04.01 (and not today!)


Lloyd T. Sunday, 3/9/03, 6:17 PM

Hey hub. Just wanted to blurt out before I read the posts. I've been thinking of "rockin recovery." Thanks to the fellow who
defines 'Courage' as what he does when no one is looking. In my recovery I've defined 'Character' as what I do, even when no
one is watching. I like this definition of Courage. Oooohh. I got some favorite songs too. I think I'll have to Rock. THanks LloydT

From: Kalamazoo, MI
E-mail: kislloydt@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 12.04.01 (and not today!)


Lu S. Sunday, 3/9/03, 4:39 PM

Hi Dear Brothers and Sisters of the same story, I can't tell you all how much I have missed you all. I am a compulsive gambler
who is grateful for this day and my life as it is right now. The fellowship of the gamblers anonymous group both here and in my
back yard have given me so much strength and hopefully more wisdom than I had before 8-23-99, guess what I'm trying to
say is that hopefully I have grown in many many ways. Our groups here at home have grown by two this past few weeks. We
are so thrilled that the members have sought help in the "right" place, what a delight they both are, and have alot to share with
us as well. Helping the new members to find the road to recovery is a welcome challange and a true labor of love. I recieve a
very selfish tickle when someone new comes thru our doors, as it gives us a chance to throw out that life line, spread some
hope, love and caring, ever remembering that I was that soul nearly 3 1/2 years ago. learning to crawl before I could walk,
admitting and accepting responsibilty, and finally feeling nearly whole again, able to smile, laugh, and rejoyce in life again.
What a miracle to have come to this road with all it's bumps and curves and find the beautiful friendships and soul mates along
the way. For me, it's the miracle that I now wake in the morning with a smile in my heart and the words:"BRING IT ON" in my
mind. My higher power, God for me, has taught me ever so much, for example humility, gratitude, peace and serenity. I bless
each and everyone of you for being here for me and all those who have the desire to stop gambling and make the commitment
to put one foot in front of the other in baby steps at first, to make a way down the road to recovery with the rest of us who
know their pain and willingly reach out to offer a steady hand to hold. It is thru this act of kindness we find the work of the
HIGHER POWER, and realize the love there in. Sorry for rambling. Guess I don't need to express three months in one
post..hehhheheheh. But just wanted to let ya know that "gabby gert" is back in town and ready to rock and roll. heheh.
Heartfelt congrats. to those who have reached a personal milestone and a great big hubber welcome to the new members of
our family..WELCOME...KEEP COMING BACK! OK, am off to attend the online meeting in a few minutes, but just wanted to say,
Have a peacefull, serene week coming up...Blessing to all and hugggs all around...Love ya, YSIR, Lu S

From: Iron Mountain, Mi
E-mail: whelz@up.net
Last Day Gambled: 8-23-99


Cindy D Sunday, 3/9/03, 4:33 PM

Evening all....just finished reading the posts and wanted to also post my phone # for any who need a connection. 785-986-
9295. ----Ann,----- your post took me back to my first days of recovery. I finally had to write the whole mess out and hand it to
my hubby in a letter. But felt soooo good to get it out in the open, like a 1000 lb weight had been lifted from my soul. ----Kathy
K------ love you idea of going in the bathroom and shaking the demon from your shoulder. I have written that one down for
future reference. Thank You! I also appreciate all the insight on soft gambling. Tis March Madness time, and being a BIG Kansas
Jayhawk fan, Hawks Rule... Mizzo Drools! (Sorry Jenn) I had to accept the fact that I won't be participating in any pools this
year. I would also ask my husband to buy a Lottery Ticket when the jackpot got substantial, but my sponsor informed me that,
doing this was a dangerous thing. I won't be doing that again, my recovery is too precious to me. Congrats to the milestoners
for today, and welcome to all the newcomers. Tis by the grace of our HP, we are here today. YSIR, Cindy

From: Kansas aka: Deliverance
E-mail: duffyschat@holtonks.net
Last Day Gambled: 10/28/02


AnnaC Sunday, 3/9/03, 4:20 PM

Hi all. Last night was not easy...daughter sleeps w/us lately and she had the nasty flue bug. She is doing much better today
thank you Lord. Darn it I hate it when she is sick. She is getting older and this time she said as she was in the
bathroom....mom I'm sorry it's so gross...ohhh poor baby...I just held her as hubby did the best he could but was nearly
getting sick himself watching her. Finally this evening she seems to be doing better. I think I must have washed and sterolized
ALL day today. Boy oh boy do I have dishpan hands (lol). So grateful she is feeling better though. It's about dinner time and
jennifer...yum I love homemade fried chicken and mashed potatoes!!! and was it sue talking about those campfire girl cookies?
ok I'm getting hungry. Made some jello for my daughter...pretty proud of myself (lol) (Sasha) sure could use a professional
chef at this house. Just looking up at my ldg and thinking so grateful to have that same date. Those urges are so very real.
Sometimes I just want to run away and hide in those darn casinos and never come home. Oh that reminds me...the casino
buffets...never really made it to them. When I was gambling I never took time to eat, thought well it least I'm watching my
diet...ha ha the mind games I played w/myself. I still think about my gambling "friends" from time to time. Really wondering
how they are all doing. Never asked them about GA or gambling problems. Always wondered though. Especially my lady friend
who frequently stuck hundred dollar bills in that favorite dollar machine. Darn I hope she is doing ok. (Diana)Thank you
(JoniB)Love to take a gander at your resume...if you want to send it to me. I used to develop resumes for friends. (hugs) to all
thanks for being here and being you! (jennifer) would love to work that step 4 and 3, and 2, and 1 and .......:) off to cook that
dinner....sure wish it were homemade fried chicken:)

From: NV
Last Day Gambled: 12/2/02


Jim A. Sunday, 3/9/03, 4:19 PM

Hello everyone ~~~ "R" ... RECOVERY ROCKS!! ...with thanks to Val; "E" ... Enjoy the Journey; "C" ... Carpe Diem!! (one Diem
at a time ...lol ... with thanks to Carole); "O" ... OOOhhhhh, Gotta Luv It!! ... with thanks to Charlie P; "V" ...Values and Vision
... suggesting a need for a "New Pair of Glasses" ... with thanks to Chuck C. and Clancy I.; "E" ... Enthusiam about Life and
Living and Everything that goes along with it!! ... courtesy to Mark Elliot! ; "R" ... Re-Member the Stories ... picking up the
heartbeat of the GA Fellowship and the community we call CG Hub .... courtesy to my Higher Power!!!!!!; "Y" ...
(((((((((((YOU)))))))))) are an AWE-some and WONDER- filled bunch!! ...with thanks to Nancy, with some memorable accents
from Linda P. (from California)!! ~~~~ Peace.

From: Davison (City of Flags), Michigan
E-mail: gr8_move@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: January 23, 1996


ANN Sunday, 3/9/03, 3:13 PM
I JUST WANTED TO COME IN HERE AND SAY HI AND IM DOING OK LIVING ODAAT BUT ITS GETTING BETTER EVERYDAY 3
WEEKS TOMORROW AND THAT FEELS WONDERFUL TO ME,BUT STILL I WILL BE HONEST I HAVENOT GOT THE NERVE UP TO
ANSWER PHONE YET I KNOW I HAVE TO DO IT I THINK I WILL GET MY BILLS TOGETHER AND CALL THEM ASK THEM IF THEY
WILL WORK WITH ME I HAVE TO STOP PUTTING IT OFF I KNOW I CAN BE HONEST WITH ALL OF YOU YOUR MY NEW BEST
FRIENDS.ONE DAY I WILL BE ABLE TO TELL MY HUSBAND EVERYTHING OR ELSE HES GONNA FIND OUT SOMEWAY I KNOW HE
LOVES ME BUT I WOULDNT MUCH BLAME HIM IF HE DECIDED HE COULDNT LIVE WITH ME AFTER ALL THE STUPID GAMBLING
I HAVE DONE AND WASTED ALL THE MONEY I HAVE BUT DOESNT IT SAY WHEN YOU GET MARRIED FOR RICHER OR POORER
SOME OF THE RICHEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD MIGHT NOT BE HAPPY IT DOESNT TAKE MONEY TO MAKE ME HAPPY I CAN
LOOK AT ALL THE THINGS GOD HAS CREATED THE SKY THE STARS THE MOON THE TREES THE BEAUTIFUL MOUNTAINS I LIVE
IN AND THAT MAKES ME HAPPY ANN

From: N.C
E-mail: DAHALIA3@AOL.COM
Last Day Gambled: FEB.24-03


Jay L. Sunday, 3/9/03, 2:50 PM

Good afternoon, everyone. I'm currently re-working the Steps and am on Step 3. What a great Step! The whole experience of
re-working the Steps is so different for me than it was the first time around. Life is so full of opportunities for growth and G- d.
My life still continues to get better each and every day and if it didn't, I'd be back gambling right now! Off to a G.A. meeting!
Take good care and thanks for listening.

From: Arizona
E-mail: jaylaz123@hotmail.com
Last Day Gambled: November 5, 2000.


Jennifer Sunday, 3/9/03, 2:46 PM

Life is grand in GA Land. Discovered I was out of potatoes so we had sauerkraut (my kids call it "sour crap") and sausage
instead. Then we went driving on the back roads, looking at all the new houses, and just enjoying being out and about. So, for
those of you wishing to come for fried chicken and mashed potatoes, please RSVP. It looks like I have some dish washers now.
{{{MARC, SASHA, WILMA, OKIEMAW}}} Cool! After last weekend's conference, I sure am anxious to meet more Hubbers (and
see the ones I met again). Maybe we can schedule some informal gatherings down the road? Just one long f2f meeting for a
weekend on the couch. :)

From: Missouri
E-mail: jennifermo@kc.rr.com
Last Day Gambled: 3/06/03 -- the last day of my old life


Dave Of Beckenham Sunday, 3/9/03, 2:31 PM

My name is Dave I am a compulsive Gambler and will be till the day I DIE! If I was so clever why did I not learn first time in
GA? I use to think that more money meant I had more chances? Just meant I spent more. Every wrong every bit of anger I
justified myself. After many years I knew I was sick before Gambling before drink. I grew up angry. Now the wisdom is to know
where it came from ? Pain fear frustration. Or combination of all 3? I now know my mum was not able to love me it was not in
her. Today I spoke to her and it was on the edge of a guilt trip. Money was mentioned. Then she came out with you do not
want me to come with you. I aswered you do not come for me you come for your self. She is not willing to let go of her pain. I
even asked her to go to counselling. Well the conversation soon finished after those comments. She asked me to telephone her
back later, but I did not do it. I will leave her for a few days then speak to her. I am not usre where it came from. She
acknowledges she is going to feel abondoned when I leave. But she is not willing to leave her house. Catch 22. Lots of physical
pain today I am tempted to take pain killers. I think she may have taken offence at me calling at ladies house Eddies who she
is jealous of. There is a lady who knows how to love unconditionally. I think it is harsh reality to my mum. It is very sad that a
mother can be jealous of another ladies motherly love towards me? The hurt child is not vulnerable today. I think some
members are not happy with me moving on. Some have told me face to face. But sad fact some hold it in. Lingfield is a very
strong meeting. It happens now and again meeting becomes vulnerable due to personality clashes or people cannot face pain
they hear. But they keep coming back which is so healthy. Some times the laughter is so honest from the heart you would not
think a soul in the room had a problem. Not so much a joke laugh but a heart felt laugh where you can be on the edge of tears.
That emotional value helps me. In the old story days use to come out of the room so frustrated. Knew all the stories I needed
some one to show to me how to cope emotionally. Demonstrate to me how to get over feeling vulnerable, how to face my
fears. Even how to cope with me. I am trying to deal with so much information at the moment I am finding it hard. I have the
daily duty written down. But so much needs to be stored. I was far worse at paperwork. That was one beaf they had when I
was working. Spoke to Mark today he sounded very good. Me thinks he is getting preped for when I go and visit him. Shirley is
tickled pink of thought of seeing him. Negotiating prices at the moment. Never happy with selling to close people. Shirleys
being far to generous. Lst night I pointed out she was supposed to be on my side. Brian laughed. I have noticed tension in jaw
has loomed up recetly. Maybe due to stress at this time. Do not think it is fear. Lots of fun in the house lately, even silly
pranks. I was talking on the phone Shirley was listening. I said I am about to have last Turkish Delight in the fridge. Shirley
jumped up rushed to fridge to find I had eaten it earlier. LOL. Her face? LOL I could not stop laughing. Well tonight is not going
to be late night for sure. Sand man is creeping up on me. It is nice to have the soul who can be free to be himself, and be able
to feel. Love Dave.

From: Uk For Now!
E-mail: gadaveuk@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 1992 August


Okiemaw Sunday, 3/9/03, 1:36 PM

Hi All! A very grateful RCG here, working daily with my HP to beat my addiction. I'm having to work on giving the credit for my
recovery to the most important person, my HP. I do thank Him everyday, but last week, at my f2f NA meeting they presented
me with a my 30 day keytag and asked me to tell how I did it. I started rambling on about attending meetings online, f2f NA,
reading, writing, praying, and just working hard at it. On my way home I realized how pompous and self centered I had been.
My cousin, also my computer guru, calls this an "ID:10T Error" (translation: IDIOT). I could not have done any of the things I
bragged about without my HP leading me. This is one of my big character defects . Maybe the biggest? Wanting to be the
center of attention is one reason I gambled in the first place. When I won I could brag about it to get attention. When I lost I
minimized it or just didn't talk about it. Little omissions, lies, and exagerrations to make me look better to other people and to
myself. I am trying to correct this with my HP's help. I have had all the tools to work Step 4 and have been saying I was going
to start on it for over a week now. I've been told it will get me through some of this. I read some of the questions about
childhood experiences on it and I really don't want to go there again. At least not by myself. I need to find someone I trust to
work f2f on this with me. I know if I can completely turn this over to God he will take me where I need to go. I will work harder
on letting go,too. Another big problem with me.... ((Tom)) thank you for sharing ..it cleared a few cobwebs for me... ((Lanie))
22 days,now..Way to go!...((Judy)) welcome back...((AnnaC)) so glad you are feeling some better.....((((KathyM, CurtisL,
JosieA, SuzieT)))) great milestones !...((((Sasha's List))))..(((JenniferMo))) fried chicken is my most favorite thing, followed by
a thick char rare steak. Mouth watering here..ughhh..Champagne taste- --Beer budget. I'll have to be content with a turkey
sandwich today. Ha!! LOVE & Peace to all...YFIR...Diana

From: Ok.
Last Day Gambled: 1/29/03


Gary K Sunday, 3/9/03, 1:31 PM

The hardest thing for me to give up when I first started recovery was the kitchen table poker games that I enjoyed so much. I
argued with my group, my sponsor, and anybody else who would listen, that I wasn't addicted to penny ante poker, but to
horse racing. They all pointed to page 14 of the Combo Book and the GA definition of gambling. They told me that GA had a
black and white definition of gambling, because through experience they knew that compulsive gamblers always want to push
the line. I took their advice, after all who was I to question thousands of compulsive gamblers who were now leading the type
of life that I wanted. Today,I can say through my own experience, that for me, there is no such thing as "soft" gambling. When
I first came into GA,I was hooked on horse racing. After my first relapse, I came back to GA hooked on table games. Later, I
relapsed and became hooked on slot machines. I have yet to get hooked on lotteries or bingo, or pull tabs, but my experience
tells me that I will if I give them a chance. Part of my recovery is learning to live with reality, not my version of reality.

From: vancouver island
E-mail: GaryK@rcgsite.org
Last Day Gambled: November 12, 2001


sasha Sunday, 3/9/03, 1:30 PM

RECOVERY: R= "Remember" that we are all good people with an illness; E= "Emulate" the greatness I learn from my fellow
human being; C= "Count" my blessings; O= "Overcome" any self pity; V= "Value" myself and those around me; E = "Empathy"
Have empathy for those in pain; R = "Return" the love and caring to those around me; Y = "YELL" at the top of my lungs the
greatness RECOVERY is for us all. S

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03


Gary K Sunday, 3/9/03, 1:19 PM

From: vancouver island
E-mail: GaryK@rcgsite.org
Last Day Gambled: November 12, 2001


AletaE Sunday, 3/9/03, 1:15 PM

Hi HUB family...Aleta here a CG grateful to be in recovery today. What an AWESUM weekend. We attended a conference for
another recovery program. Great speakers, great ppl, great time. At one of the marithon meetings the topic was "Singleness of
Purpose". Being dual addicted I have the pleasure of seeing different programs at work ODAAT. It wasn't this other addiction
that brought me to my bottom...it was the gambling. In fact, didn't know the other addiction existed until I did that 4th step.
WOW...a real "more will be revealed" part of our program!!! Anyway...when this topic arises things get a little dicey. I have
found in the programs of recovery that for me the "drug of choice" can take many different faces, but the PROBLEM is ME. I
used what ever it took to escape, to try and fit in, to be anything but ME. I truely believe that the purpose is to love ourselves,
to allign our wills with our HP (God of our own understanding), to become the best we can be as our HP leads us on this path of
discovery to sanity. Reaching out to others who are still hurting, sharing our experience, strength and hope, for me today is the
singleness of purpose. I have been given a gift and as some dear, sweet souls here have shared....I must give it away to keep
it! Do I walk this path with grace and dignity? Not always (amends time) but at least today I know when I'm off track and by
the grace of God, this fellowship and the 12 steps I have the tools today to get back on track, learning once again that I don't
have to do this alone. What a BLESSING!!!! Thank you all for being a part of my recovery today. With love in my
heart...YSIR...Aleta

From: Idaho
E-mail: aletae@hotmail.com
Last Day Gambled: 1/22/01


Donna C Sunday, 3/9/03, 1:06 PM

I am Donna C. a grateful recovering compulsive gambler. I would like to share a story, from my own experiences of coarse,
about "soft" gambling. These two short events happened after I entered GA.~~~~~~~~~1) approximately 60 days of
recovery: I was at work, manicuring. I had a little time on my hands and it was time for lunch. I walked down a few doors to a
sandwich shop to grab a soda and a bite to eat, take out of coarse. Upon paying the attendent slipped some, what appeared to
be, coupons in my bag. Got back to work took every thing out and low and behold those coupons turned out to be scratch and
win tickets. I was unsure as to how to proceed with them so I immediately called my sponsor and explained the situation. What
she told me was that scratch off tickets sit on the fine line of an individuals perception of gambling. Obviously if I had to call her
on this I did perceive it as a form of gambling. I had about 8 tickets, I handed them to 8 different girlfriends/coworkers and told
them to do with them as they wish but under no circumstances let me know the outcome because I don't want to know. The
2nd event approximately 6 months into my program: my best girlfriend was selling her daughter's school's fund raising raffle
tickets and asked me if I would participate. She is still my best friend and knows that I am in GA. However at the time she was
unaware of how raffle tickets were, and still are, perceived as a form of gambling (refer to page 17 of the yellow combo book).
So I explained it to her and showed her what the combo book said. I did tell her that I would like to help in the fund raiser so
I'd donate the price of the ticket but not accept a ticket.~~~~Those are the only experience that I have had with it. Since then
I make sure of what's being slipped into my lunch bag and now my girlfriend's daughter is out of school and have not been
approached by anyone else on school fund raising raffles. Now the question is would I change those 2 events to where I wasn't
even offered them in the first place...not on my life. It's helped me define my own boundries of what is gambling and what is
not. Thanks for listening. Donna C.

From: Las Vegas, NV
E-mail: orion_1@lvcm.com
Last Day Gambled: 4/6/00


SUNDAY HUGS for the HUB Family and CGS across the World Sunday, 3/9/03, 12:53 PM

(((((AletaE, Amber, Andy-sydney, AnitaA,, Ann, Anna, AnnaC, Arnie W, Audrey, Barb, Barbara-Rella, BeckyB, BevR, Brandy,
Brenda , Brenda A, Brenda R, Brett, Cali, Cole, Colleen, Carole, CarolynK, Charlie K, CharlieP, Chatcat,Cindy D, Cindy H,
CindyW, Collette, Curtis L, Dal B, Damaris, Dan,Dark_Lady, Dave,Dave- Wash.DC, Dboy,DC, Dean, Deb B, Deb D, Deb G, Del,
Delores, Denise, DennisP, Dina, Don C, DonnaC, Dr. Jim, Dodger, Dorothe, Doug L, Emily, Emjay,FEO, Fiddler,GaryK, GeneK,
Gordon D. Gramers, Howie C, Jake A,Janie J, Jaybird, JayL, Jennifer, Jeannie, Jim A, Jim K, Joeanne, John H, John M,
JoniB,Josie, Jude,JUDY, Karen, Kat, Katielyn, Kathy, Kathy S, Ken, Ken F, Kinnon, Lanie, LdyQP, Lenett, Lily , Linda C, Liz,
Lloyd, Lu S, Madge, Maggie, Marc, Marie, Mark, Mark M, Marty, Mary, Mary J, Marym downunder, MattW, Max H, , Melissa-
sasha, Michelle, Miranda, Nance, Nancy M, NICKY, Nita, Okiemaw, Pat L, Patty, Paula, Pete,Purdell, Rachel, Ramona, RandyM,
Ray H, ReneeB, ReneeC, Rich_DET, Richr, Robert, Robin H, Rose,Rose-Audrey, Sal, Sandy, SandyK, Scott, R, Skogie1999,
SharonJ, Sheila L, Sheryl, S Jane, Sorry, Suzanne, Sue, SusanP, Steve, Steven, SylviB, Tara, Tino (sidepocketkid), Tna-Tina,
Todd, Tom P, TomS, Tracy, Valorie, Vel M, VickiB, Vida, Wayne, Williamk, Wilma, Ymg/Ymg, Zanna, OUR LOVED ONES and
EVERYONE))))) <162>

Last Day Gambled: One Day At A TIME - PEACE OUT


Susan P Sunday, 3/9/03, 12:47 PM

RECOVERY.....Reminding myself where I have been, so I don't return there.....Expressing feelings, and not keeping myself
numb....Calling people when in need.....Openmindedness, willing to see things a different way.....Very excited to be on this
journey.....Experiences I share with others so that I may grow......Reading literature to keep me centered.....Y?we all deserve
to be free from addiction and happy in our recovery..... Thanks Carole for making me think about what recovery means to me.
Have a great day, Susan P
From: Canada
E-mail: spiercey@hotmail.com
Last Day Gambled: Jan29/03


Kathy K Sunday, 3/9/03, 12:35 PM

Good Sunday afternoon hubbers, Just popping in to wish all of Sasha's list a happy and blessed Sunday.
**************************************************** (((Susan P))) I totally related to your post. Yesterday
morning I woke with this antsy feeling that I couldn't shake. I showered and got fully dressed ready to play head games with
Jim in order for him to say "Wanna go to the casino"? You see, this way I could blame him. When he didn't ask I got this mile
high attitude. How dare he not ask me if I want to destroy myself again? How dare he not be the one accountable for my
actions? So, I went back upstairs, looked in the mirror and had this long discussion with myself. Soon my Stinking Thinking
disappeared. I am so happy that I am at the point where I can catch myself, that I can recognize when that Devil is trying to
enter my thought process. You may think I am crazy but I play this new game now. When this happens to me I go in my
bathroom alone, shake my imaginary Devil off my shoulder, go to the toilet and flush. It really works!***********
(((Judy)))Welcome back, I loved the way you expressed yourself. I have always felt so alone here on the East Coast, so it is
nice to share with a fellow New Yorker. ((((hugs)))) to you.************* (((Rose Adrian))) Your daughter is in my thoughts
and prayers. I have been in your shoes and I can tell you that I feel your concern. I can't stand to see one of my children sick.
((( Delores ))) Hugs to your nephew, he sounds like a very special boy. I hope that his day was a wonderful one.((( Sasha )))
Loved our conversation the other night, we need to do it again real soon. I am also glad that you got out and enjoyed yourself
yesterday. Big Hugs ******* ((( Joni, Carole, Gene and everyone ))) thanks for being here and thanks for being such an
important force in my life. Love, Kathy K

From: New Jersey
E-mail: kathyk2327@aol.com


Okiemaw Sunday, 3/9/03, 12:00 PM

RECOVERY = = "R" Relief, I'm not crazy..just sick..."E" Encouragement I RECIEVE from fellow CGs..."C" Courage also a little
cursing (hehehe)..."O" Optimism, IT WORKS!..."V" Very grateful here..."E" Encouragement I am able to GIVE to fellow
CGs..."R" a Red Rose meaning love, respect, and courage for GA..."Y" a Yellow Rose of freindhip and freedom for all CGs still
suffering. YFIR...Diana
From: So. Oklahoma
E-mail: okiema@brightok.net
Last Day Gambled: 1/29/03 ODAAT


Tom S Sunday, 3/9/03, 11:32 AM

Good afternoon Hubsters: Imagine my surprise when I did look at the clock and it was afternoon in sunny but very cold MN. I
wasn't going to add any more thought to the "soft" gambling issue since our sister Val's post covered it so well but here goes
anyway. My personal approch to soft or fringe gambling issues such as raffles, retail promotions, golf outings, family gathering
penny-ante games, collective office or work pools etc... is that I do not participate in any of them. Would a raffle to support my
kid's school band set me off on a gambling binge? Proably not. That is not the very important and life threatening issue that is
at the core of this seemingly harmless stuff for me. I am in need of a character change in order to sustain a long term,
peaceful, serene abstainence from gambling. My "gamblers personality" always looked for the easier, softer way. I always
rationalised and justified any behaviour I wanted to do even if I knew it was wrong or harmful to myself or others. I felt
immune and even resentful of rules or societies guidelines. I wanted what I wanted "NOW". I had no sense of discipline or of
delayed gratification. I was an addict in my gambling but also in my approach to life. How does that relate to not tearing off the
tab on that drink cup to see if I've won a Big Mac? In my life it's critically important that I heed and follow the direction and
definitions of the 12 step program of GA. For me to formulate "my definition of gambling" starts that cancer of self will growing
again. The idea that I am in charge and can start to make decisions about what concepts of recovery I can choose to honor
today has the potential to destroy me. My personal decision in step 3 to turn my will (my thoughts) and my life (my actions)
over to the God of my understanding has to be complete. Look where my best thinking (self will) got me!! To the doors of
bankruptcy, prison and suicide. Better that I pray for the willingness and courage to follow the collective wisdom and
experience of the thousands who have gone before. In love and fellowship. Tom S. mandanwibau@msn.com

From: Minneapolis, MN
Last Day Gambled: 5/3/92


Wilma Sunday, 3/9/03, 11:27 AM

Hello everyone. Just love this different version of RECOVERY you are doing. (JENNIFER) I am coming for that fried chicken and
mashed potato. Sounds so yummy. I'll wash dishes!!! It's a beautiful day here today in AZ, 85 degrees and the sky is so blue
and not even a streak of cloud. (SUE) I remember those buffets at the casino. It was cheap but it always costing me more.
CONGRATUTIONS to all celebrating whatever milestones. My prayer to all who still suffers. Welcome new comers. I am off to
enjoy this beautiful day. Today is Wilma's day. I am doing all fun things for me. Thank you all for you support and your post.
Sending my hugs to all on SASHA'S list and also to the lurkers coming from a former lurker. Have a gamble free weekend
everyone and I'll be back. Love, Wilma

From: Arizona
E-mail: wilma102102@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 10-21-02


Judy Sunday, 3/9/03, 11:26 AM

Hi everyone¿.my name is Judy and I am a compulsive gambler and always will be a compulsive gambler, but even though it¿s
only been 3 days since my last bet, I think of myself as a recovering compulsive gambler. First of all, I want to thank all of you
from the bottom of my heart who welcomed me back here and e-mailed me with words of encouragement. I hope you know
how you have touched somebody¿s life in reaching out and lending support. It¿s funny how people we have never met and
probably never will, and people who we have never spoken to, can touch us with their words. For me, this site has saved my
life many, many times. Even when I was actively gambling, I would come here and read the posts and draw strength in the
knowledge that there was hope for me and that recovery from this disease could be mine, too, if I would just let it and give it a
chance. I have a lot of damage to repair, people I have hurt, trust I have lost, my own self-esteem, not counting the financial
damage, and I realize I cannot do this alone. I have cried and begged my HP to help me, to show me how to stop this
madness, and while no lightening bolt came out of the sky with the answer written on it, I believe my HP has told me in his/her
own way, that the answer was there all along..staring me right in the face, but I was too blinded by the gambling to see it.
Thank you all for being here and sharing your thoughts, hope, dreams, and encouragement. ((((Judy))))

From: New York
E-mail: judyann_p@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 03-06-03


sue Sunday, 3/9/03, 10:50 AM

RECOVERY (what it means to me) R READY to begin a new, improved, spiritual life for myself E Enthusiastic - So ready and
willing to make this change for myself C Consistency To know that my life, with recovery, will be consistent - more balanced O
Openness - To work my recovery, I need honesty and openness within myself V Vehement - I am vehement about this
addiction (I Will Beat it!) E Even - I will keep my life at an even keel - not to high, not to low R Rely I will rely on friends to help
me make it through this instead of doing in "on my own". and last but surely not least - Y YARD - I will not gamble this summer
and I will work in my yard (i know it's corny...but it is so true) or Y young - this program will keep me Young at
heart......thanks for letting me share guys...lol.....sue


sue Sunday, 3/9/03, 10:33 AM

Sitting here reading, thinking, praying, actually trying to pass time til my f2f meeting at 4:00. It's been a long morning. I seem
to have lost that ambition this week that was so graciously given to me by my HP last week to get things accomplished. Ya
know what amazes me? In my journeys yesterday, I browsed several stores for some clearance stuffs for myself. I had a
handful of things, accessories, socks, stuff I really need. I think for about 10 different things they probably totalled about
$15.00. I got to the register to check out and purchased two things - total - $2.00. Now - just a couple of weeks ago...the
number of $20.00 bills that I would put in a slot machine meant absolutely nothing to me. But to treat myself to some much
needed things - NO Could do! Go figure ha? Why is that? I really need to reassess things in my life cause when i look at it -
gosh - its crazy! OH, by the way - I think it was Jennifer or whoever was making the fried chicken and mashed potatoes - I will
be there for dinner. What time are you serving??? For now, I think I will just go make myself a cup of tea and eat some Girl
Scout cookies. (Yum) yfir...sue

From: massachusetts
E-mail: suemass2000@aol.com
Last Day Gambled: 02/22/03


jaybird Sunday, 3/9/03, 10:12 AM

opp,s correction not here to preach.


jaybird Sunday, 3/9/03, 10:07 AM

just read the anonymous posting in ref. to bingo, and the quote from page 17 of the combo book. i totaly agree with page 17,
but don't agree with it being posted anonymously, and the delivery of the message. anyone can post, or read something out of
a book, to me what this program is about is the love and understanding that the message is given in. (ppl don;t want to know
how much you know, tell they know how much you care) for me any form of gambling will hurt my recovery, and lead me back
to the full blown addiction i left. but that me and i,m here to preach, i can only share my own ES& hope with you, and encourge
you to leave all forms of gambling out of your life, proud to be your bro in recoveryk, jaybird. recovery smiles to you all


jaybird Sunday, 3/9/03, 9:45 AM

good sunday morning to ya all, what a group, like this ph. tree concept that vicky, and delores started. big smiles, talked to
them both, so love this unity and bonding. my no is 1-360-452-4417. reach out and touch sime one. as the comerical
says.congrats on the milestones today love to see them. life good here, will get off line maaybe ph. wi;; ring. love ya all. ybir
jaybird

From: port angeles, wa
E-mail: srchief@prodigy.net
Last Day Gambled: 1/18/01


Sunday, 3/9/03, 9:37 AM

To those thinking Bingo or other sorts of Gambling may not be their primary addiction! Page 17 Gamblers Anonymous Program
tells it All...... To All Gamblers Anonymous Member Particularly The New Gamblers Anonymous Members..... 1. Attend as many
meetings as possible ,but at least one full meeting per week. MEETINGS MAKE IT ! 2. Telephone other members as often as
possible between meetings. Use the Telephone List ! 3. Don't test or tempt yourself. Don't associate with acquaintances who
gamble. Don't go in or near gambling establishments. DON'T GAMBLE FOR ANYTHING. This includes the stock market,
commodities, options, buying or playing lottery tickets, raffle tickets, flipping a coin or entering the office sports pool. 4. Live
the Gamblers Anonymous Program ONE DAY AT A TIME. Don't try to solve all your problems at once. 5. Read the Recovery and
Unity Steps often and continuously review the Twenty Questions. Follow the Steps in your daily affairs. These Steps are the
basis for the entire Gamblers Anonymous Program and Practicing them is the key to your growth. If you have any questions,
ask them of your Trusted Servants and Sponsors. 6. When you are ready, the Trusted Servants will conduct a Pressure Relief
Group meeting, or reevaluation for you and your spouse (if Married), and adherence to it will aid in your recovery. 7. Be Patient
! The days and weeks will pass soon enough, and as you continue to attend meetings and abstain from gambling, your recovery
will really accelerate.

marc Sunday, 3/9/03, 9:33 AM

good morning to all of you wild and crazy guys,life is good here on recovery lane!! hope all you ppl are having a great bet free
day so far! weathers great here for a change(all most 55)gonna go down to the river for a walk with the dog and get some
much needed fresh air,hope he dosent drag me a mile (lol)(jen)save me some of that chix ok,sounds good!! well stay safe and
god bless, marc

From: ar
Last Day Gambled: 10-01-02


Jennifer Sunday, 3/9/03, 9:25 AM

ROSE ADRIAN, prayers are on the way. I hope Sherry is better very soon. ~~~ I wanted to say how much I admire those of
you willing to post your phone numbers here. Such angels amongst us! ~~~ AMBER, I hope all is well there today. Thinking of
you, Sweet Gal! ~~~ Off to fry some chicken and whip up some mashed potatoes. Food addiction? Let's not go there. :)

From: Missouri
E-mail: jennifermo@kc.rr.com
Last Day Gambled: 3/06/03 -- the last day of my old life


Amber Sunday, 3/9/03, 9:18 AM

Good Sunday Morning ((all))!.....Sometimes near panic situations can arise in our lives. Those times when there is nothing that
you can do but hurry up and wait. I found the first weeks in recovery to be like that. I was waiting for the days to pass and
time just seemed to go sooo slow, just to spite me. I don't really have an urge to gamble but thoughts of gambling do cross my
mind... because recovery is always on my mind. I realized a long time ago that I don't NEED to gamble, I just WANT to.
Sometimes I view it as though I'm a parent to my own self saying 'NO, you don't need those $150.00 running
shoes!'....HA!...we as adult children tend to moan, groan and pout over the things we want! I sat down and made of list of
things that I NEEDED to survive being the person that I am.......gambling just doesn't factor in anywhere on that
list..........smiles....ysir Amber

Last Day Gambled: the last day of my old life


Carole Sunday, 3/9/03, 9:04 AM

ITS A NEW DAY!!!! Good morning, Carole here, recovering cg and slept in, slept a solid 8 hours, wow..and Delores, this
happens in recovery, those nasty voices are gone..cause I am sooo busy just being and loving my friends and family, the
dinner last night was a success, a good time was had by all, I just dropped dead into bed..super feeling, to have good friends
around the dinner table, just the best feeling...so worth all the preparations:) Thanks, Joni, GENE, Vicki, Kathy and Jennifer for
playing the game, this happened often in the months passed and I figured it could be fun..looks like all of you are very "in-
tune"..to milestoners, l day, l week, and Josie 9 months, way to go everyone!!((NancyM))(((Nance))))good to see you
again((((SUE, and SUSANP)))great attitudes, you both have the goods to make this work,and I know you both will:)for
today...same goes for me and the whole lot of us, today is all we have, man no truer words were ever spoken:)((PATTY, DAVE,
MARYM))))our overseas special friends, have a great day!!Rich, service, yep, gotta get out of self in order to FEEL recovery, its
in giving that we receive and Joni has a beautiful quote in Jim's recovery book, I hope I don't screw it up..something like this"if
you want to keep it, you have to give it away" ((JONI))you are tooooo special..ok, ok, getting a bit over the top here,slept too
long, have a great day..and remember this is the day the Lord has made you out and enjoy..Carole

From: british columbia, canada
E-mail: carols136@rcgsite.org
Last Day Gambled: march 6/2002


Vel M. Sunday, 3/9/03, 8:58 AM

Good Morning all my brothers and sisters!!! A RCG here and so grateful for my recovery. It has been an interesting weekend for
me. Spent the majority of 24 hours reinstalling my computer and all the programs that go with - had to back up everything
before I did that for sure. All that time spend in front of the screen, all the stress of drivers not installing, having to go back and
forth between the screen and other things, made my think of a time when I was so obssessed with another type of screen. The
tightness of my shoulders, and eye strain reminded me of those insane hours in front of video lottery terminal. I am so glad to
be free of that bondage on my soul. Val, I can so relate to everything that you said in your post - I am afflicted with the same
disease. For me, there is no compromise, no somewhere in between. Congratulations to everyone having a milestone today and
I hope that you all have a great bet free day.............ysir, Vel N.

From: Alberta, Canada
E-mail: flypaper49@hotmail.com
Last Day Gambled: 02 Aug 2001


Rose Adrian Sunday, 3/9/03, 8:47 AM
BEAUTIFUL DAY IN CORNELL>>>lOTS OF SUNSHINE, AND WOW WHAT AN IMPACT IT HAS ON MY
LIFE>>>>GAMBLE????WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? HUH???? I AM HERE TO ASK EACH ONE OF YOU TO SAY A PRAYER TO
YOUR VERSION OF YOUR "HP" FOR MY DAUGHTER SHERRY WHO IS VERY ILL IN WASHINGTON, AND THEY HAVE NO
CLUE!!!!!!! THANK YOU FOR TAKING TIME TO READ THIS AND FOR PRAYER ROSE

From: Cornell,WI
Web Site: Rose
E-mail: lradrian@centurytel.net


Jennifer Sunday, 3/9/03, 8:31 AM

LANIE, way to go on those 21 days. What an accomplishment! ~~~ GENE K., I enjoyed your response to the r-e-c-o-v-e-r-y
assignment. You're such a kind and loving presence on our little Hub. ~~~ ANNA C., you're a strong woman. Hanging onto that
LDG through all of your trials proves it. I'm still at Step 4. Maybe we can work on those together? ~~~ SASHA/MELS, it sounds
like you had a super day yesterday. I too have the naturally curly hair thing going on. It's a real issue with me ... can't find
anyone I trust to cut it right. Is that my perfectionist slip slowing? LOL. ~~~ OKIEMAW, way to hang in there! SUE AND SUSAN
P., hold onto that rope. We're here 24/7. It's much cheaper to make a phone call than to go to the casino. Hugs to you both!
~~~ TINO, I hope you're getting some much needed rest this weekend. H.A.L.T. is my sign to take it easy and recuperate.
~~~ DELORES, I do love the snow as long as I get to look at it from the warmth inside. It's pretty and sunny here today. May
have to get out and take a Sunday drive with my sweetie. ~~~ {{{WILMA, JIM A., JONI, NANCY M., SHEILA L, DAVE, PATTY,
RICH R., DAL B., CHARLIE P, VICKI B., CAROLE, SYLVI, KATHY S., VAL, LURKERS, and everyone else here today}}} ~~~ R-E-
C-O-V-E-R- Y. R = Reaching out to others who understand. E = Encouragement from those who have walked in your shoes. C
= Compassion for others. O = Overwhelming sense of love and comfort. V = Valuable friendships that will last a lifetime. E =
Each person is important and worthy of our love and support. R = Recognizing feelings that have been buried for so long and
confronting our issues. Y = Y? Because we like ourselves now! ~~~ Have a happy and safe day!

From: Missouri
E-mail: jennifermo@kc.rr.com
Last Day Gambled: 3/06/03 -- the last day of my old life


Sunday, 3/9/03, 8:26 AM

((((((VAL)))))you got it..okay...ready...one twoooo...Jump...CARTWHEEL>>CARTWHEEL>>>CARTWHEEL>>>>> >love you
Precious..and all your Wisdom shared..YOU!!!warming up my car..((((((SHASHAS LIST))))))...offffffff I go..with a SMILE..have
each of you tucked in my Heart..tis Awesome..:):) ysir, love JoniB.


Delores Sunday, 3/9/03, 8:13 AM

What a wonderful HUB morning!!! Thanks (((VICKI B & JAYBIRD))), for the calls! It's a wonderful way to start off the day!!!!
Love & Peace to you (((SASHA & SASHA'S LIST)))!!! YSIR Delores

From: Twin Cities, MN
E-mail: mntoots@msn.com
Last Day Gambled: 1/1/03


Valorie Sunday, 3/9/03, 8:01 AM

Today is International Women's Day. YUP it is, so stopping by to share some ES&H and send special regards to my recovering
sisters. You know, we do hold up half of the world, and the other half would be lost without us! Deep..nawwwww. BTW, I am a
RCG, and a whole bunch of other things. My drug/game of choice is MORE - more of whatever the hell it is that will alter my
mood, and change my reality. (((Marie))) a belated congrats on your 30 day milestone g/f. Way to go - ((Joni)) please do a
cartwheel for me here!!!! I've been following the thread regarding bingo, and other forms of "soft" gambling with some
thoughts of my own. First, page 14 of the COMBO booklet pretty much sets the course for me. It has to be that way because I
have a devious little mind that wants to believe a little bit won't hurt. Might not for some, but that just is not the case for me.
Also, I learned a long time ago in AA that a drug is a drug is a drug. I've met dozens of alcoholics who believe it's ok to smoke
dope because pot was not a problem for them. By the same token I have met addicts who believed it was ok to drink because
booze was not an issue. The meth, cocaine, pot, heroin.....that was the issue. Some came back, others didn't. Hmmmm, the
first thing substances do is impair our judgement. They provide gateways back to our drug/drink of choice. For me, it is the
same with gambling. For a long time, and prior to Oregon installing video poker machines in every bar, deli, or bowling alley
around, and before we had casinos, bingo was my game of choice. YUCK! I stopped bingo many years ago, and moved on to
those faster games. Stopped video poker too - gave my $$ to the casinos. Never ever had a problem with scratch off's, or
lottery. But, what I know is, a bet is a bet, is a bet. Says so on page 14. I know the rush I get from even the smallest wager,
and I know where that could lead me..impaired judgement, and eventually back to my game of choice. So, I'm not going to test
or tempt myself. Been there, done that. That's my take on the topic. ((Patty)) this program's got me also!! Thanks ((Rich R))for
the reminder about the importance of doing service work. Makes me think about progressing in recovery from ashtrays to GSR
- love it. Have a safe day my friends. Peace and Love, Val
From: Oregon


Kathy S. Sunday, 3/9/03, 7:44 AM

Good Morning All , Kathy S. here a Very Grateful Recovering Compulsive Gambler !.....................R-E-C-O-V-E-R-Y....... R-
Rewards from Gamblers Anonymous...E-Every person responsible for their own program...C-Consious contact with my "Higher
Power" ...O-Openmindedness for learning...V-Vital part of my life ...E- Endless caring and sharing...R-Respect for others...Y-You
Got it !...........with Peace and Love in RECOVERY, Kathy S. (Blubayou47@aol.com)

From: Slidell,La. (Just outside of New Orleans)
Last Day Gambled: Oct.15,1996


sylvi b Sunday, 3/9/03, 7:43 AM

Lord, make me an instruent of your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; Where there is injure, pardon; Where there
is discord, union; Where there is doubt, fath; Where there is dispair, hope; Where there is darkness, light; Where there is
sadness, joy. Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console to be understood as to understand to be loved as
to love. For it is in giving that I receive; it is in pardoning that I am pardoned; and it is in dying that I am born to eternal life.

From: mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02


Vicki B Sunday, 3/9/03, 6:51 AM

Good Morning Hub Family. I am a compulsive...focused on recovery today...R=reconnecting with the human race, E=Eternally
grateful for those who were here when I was ready, C=Control surrendered to my HP day-by- day, O=opportunities given,
V=Victorious Victoria...I will not fall down and give up, E=Enthusiasm for this new way of thinking and living, R=Rejuvinated
thru working the 12 steps and 12 traditions in all my affairs, Y=Yahoo...this is an awesome bunch to be travelling on this
journey with!!!(Thanks, Carole...that was fun!) Wishing all a marvelous day. Just feel so fortunate to be alive TODAY!) Have to
dash...I'll be back! Hugs and M-WAH!!!(Yep, you've been smooched!) Vicki B [1-810-239-9958, just in case you want to chat!]
From: MI
E-mail: human53@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 10/11/02


Charlie P Sunday, 3/9/03, 6:35 AM

Charlie P here an RCG. Not sure if everyone is aware. we have pages that deal with the 12 steps. Each page deals with each
step. At the bottom of each page there is a message board, where folks have shared about their interaction with each step.
Hope this helps a little with all the questions around working the steps.....Spent half the day yesterday meeting at a hotel over
our potential hosting of the National conference here in New Orleans in fall of 2004. Then went to an area 7 meeting. Was a
good day spending all day with my recovering brothers and sisters........Congrats to the milestones, welcome newcomers. Hope
we all have another day gamble free. YBIR Charlie P

From: Live in Mississippi
Web Site: 12 Steps
E-mail: cp044@bellsouth.net
Last Day Gambled: 2/23/03


Delores Sunday, 3/9/03, 6:24 AM

Good Morning! It's minus 7 degrees outside, but so beautiful from the snow yesterday! (((JENNIFER))) you would love it! LOL!
Today is my nephew's birthday, and we are all going out to dinner to celebrate.....he's mentally disabled & has a speech
impairment, and is 24 years old, and the sweetest kid you will ever meet. So it will be fun, he will be sooo excited that this is all
for him. I slept in this morning, sooo unusual but it felt good, and I really needed it. I'm looking for peace in all the right places
today....(((RICH R))) I loved your post, it makes me think about a lot of things, thanks. Have a wonderful day! If anyone ever
feels like calling, here's my number too: 651-777- 2530. YSIR Delores

From: Twin Cities, MN
E-mail: mntoots@msn.com
Last Day Gambled: 1/1/03


Dal B. Sunday, 3/9/03, 6:24 AM
After posting the below, I see Joni and the book, has told me what I need to know! :)

Last Day Gambled: 12/31/02


Dal B. Sunday, 3/9/03, 6:10 AM

Good monring, This morning, I am pondering my steps. Step 1 and 2 were easy enough, I had ALL the evidence I needed to
show me that I was a compulsive and addicted gambler, also, I believe I cannot do it
alone.++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++Step 3 is the tough nut. I boil it down to one thing
"Surrender" +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++No. 3 Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the
care of this Power of our own understanding.++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ It's this where I (And I
suspect alot of others) have a problem. I know it's not "Giving up" really, but asking (humbly) for help.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I don't have a problem in believing, but it's at this stage, that giving up most control
(Or the illusion of such) goes against my grain. I guess it's a bit of pride that still remains...I'll keep on, keeping on, but this is
a trouble spot.....(((((HUGS))))) Dal (Going uphill today) B.

From: Vancouver, WA
E-mail: dalbert_b@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 12/31/02


Sunday, 3/9/03, 5:58 AM

SURRENDERING SELF-WILL Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 34 No matter how much one wishes to try, exactly how can one turn his own will
and his own life over to the care of whatever God he thinks there is? In my search for the answer to this question, I became
aware of the wisdom with which it was written: that this is a two-part Step. I could see many times where I should have died,
or at least been injured, during my previous style of living, and it never happened. Someone, or something, was looking after
me. I choose to believe my life has always been in God's care. He alone controls the number of days I will be granted until
physical death. The matter of will (self-will or God's will) is the more difficult part of the Step for me. It is only when I have
experienced enough emotional pain, through failed attempts to fix myself, that I become willing to surrender to God's will for
my life. Surrender is like the calm after the storm. When my will is in line with God's will for me, there is peace within.
sharing..from AA Thoughts that I receive each morning..so love your BB:):)Grateful!! ysir, love JoniB
rich r Sunday, 3/9/03, 5:53 AM

Good Sunday morning all. Rich R, tired but grateful compulsive person. I decided not to go back to the closing of the AA
conference this morning. There are only 2 sessions and I'd rather go to church with the family. What a full weekend I had.
Yesterday at 9am the workshop/panel discussion was about service. 3 guys shared their experience. One guy who is a little
younger than I and has 2 years of sobriety told us how devastated he was at his first meeting. He had just lost his family due
to his drinking. Anyway, real early on people started asking him to do service work, like make coffee for the meeting. He was
also asked to help clean up after the meeting. Then he was asked to be the 'greeter' for the meeting, standing at the entrance
welcoming people and watching for newcomers. Then he went on to become Intergroup rep for his group, etc. etc. He said how
important each and everyone of those jobs were for his recovery. Even making coffee at the beginning. For those few minutes
he could stop obsessing about his problems. All those little jobs gave him a feeling of belonging too. Pretty soon he felt like this
was HIS group. ~~~ Another guy shared how, being self-centered, he like to receive. He learned thru service that the best way
to receive is to give. He said the obvious that when we give good we receive good in return. But then, he said something which
I had never associated with giving and receiving. He said when we give BAD we receive bad in return as well. ~~~ There was
lots more from that one workshop but basically they said that being of service is almost like taking medication against a relapse
because it makes you feel good about yourself. ~~~ I am so grateful, as I look back, for those who asked me to do stuff when
I was new in the fellowship. Someone asked me to chair the meeting when I got my 90 days in. Then someone asked me to
answer the hotline one day a week. Someone else asked me to take over the phone service (getting others to answer the
hotline and publishing the area 9 phone list and meeting list). But, getting back to Jim A's question, I think the greatest form of
service in recovery is being someone's sponsor. Trying to help that one person in whatever way you can. I admit that I am not
a great sponsor, but those times that I am able to 'connect' with another member are very rewarding. ~~~ By the way, last
Thursday at Redford we did the 12th step. It always gets to me when we read the part where the newcomer gives his phone
number, then a few days later gets a call from someone who was at their first meeting. I shared Thursday how I ALWAYS write
down the newcomers number, but I RARELY call them! So Thursday there were 2 newcomers and I committed to call them both
before next Thursday's meeting. Thanks for letting me share. I'll be back with more notes from the "March Round-up" :-)

From: detroit


JoniB Sunday, 3/9/03, 5:40 AM

God Morning Precious friends..a compulsive gambler..but ohhh by the Grace of God discovering much more:) slept in this
morning till 7:00 the sun shining in my window behind my bed..and telling me its soo time to wake up:)stretched abit..and
ohhh thanked God for another Fresh Day..fixed a cup of tea..put on my cozy warm robe and took Teddy out..such a pretty
morning..standing on my porch..in the peacefulness of a new morning...the birds singing..breathing in the cool freshness of the
air, looking around..my..mornings are beautiful..the neigbhords still sleeping..no one out and about..my sweet neighbors next
door..with their precious little girl, Sammy..are moving..oh I will miss them..she is sooo precious..talked with them abit
yesterday..and they have bought a house..and they were both gleaming..so happy for them..and hug them to pieces..they
said..theyll keep in touch..I so hope soo:) and knowing my landlord..sure some nice people will be again moving in there
too..the couple behind me too have a little one..hear her sometimes..thats the joy of living here..the sounds of new
families..this neighbhorhood..is full of growing families..Im been so blessed to live here..very..Sats they play the chimes at the
Seventh Day Adventist church up the street..soo neat..awwwwwwwe..Spring will be here soooooon..and Ill be able to sit out on
my porch..set flowers out..soo looking forward to that..Do have a pic of my porch on my Background here..and already making
plans for what I want to do there..add..more touches..FUN...I too love garage sales..and just know we'll find that daybed too
for Rick..hes been using this rollerway..which works for now..but..we're still looking..patience..huh..yep..so learning that..and
ya know..God just seems to give me..what I need..in His Time..not mine..thing is..hes teaching me patience..ohhh..that is a
blessing to me..Today at 11:00 go to my favorite gathering at my Church here..They sing my favorite music..Contempory
Christian..and so love listening to this precious man..he talks with us..and I feel so comfy sharing with others there..they
always have the most precious childrens talk..come to the front..sit near him..and they listen and join in so eagerly.. yep..today
is a special day to me..we'll meet Julie and maybe Barb there..she wants me to call her this morning..as her hip has so been
bothering her..and well see..then to visit my preciuos friend Marion..and drop in and Hug SIS tooo...yep..love Sundays..love
everyday..for they are precious to me..and just too precious to not to Enjoy all of what is right
now:)((((Nancy)))(((((Nance))))soo good to see you both !.((Susan))))tooo Kewl!! ((SASHAS LIST))))))..too funny
Mels..thanks for sharing:):) Big Congrats to the Milestoners..(((Kathy))) Awesome!! (((Curtis)))special cowboy..you (((all))
make my Heart Sing..and want to keep on my Path..ThankYOU!! offffff to make my Day..yep ((MaryM))together with a skip and
a Hop:) and that undeniable "SMILE" that says..THANKYOU!!! ysir, Love Joni B

From: Nebr.
Last Day Gambled: 7/08/00 Grateful


Patty Sunday, 3/9/03, 5:25 AM

Morning All. what a lovely day it is T-day ...I feel great and for me recovery is wonderfull..Never thought I would be able to say
that...Cause it took me a long time to be able to understand this fellowship....lol..... For years probably...i kept going to
meetings...I think that is what happened...this programme got me rather than the other way around...Anyway...I am not
complaining. T-Day I have choices...and that means a lot...around my work and in all my dealing with others on a daily
basis...T-day I am among the people whose words are worth taking to heart..... it took me a long time to know what was
acceptable and what was not...still learning in fact...but T- day i can choose not to be hurt by someone else's words ...T-day I
know I can detatch from that person..Thanks for listening to me... Have a great Day....everyone.. Patty....

From: Ireland
E-mail: oconnorpatti@hotmail.com


Sunday, 3/9/03, 5:08 AM

Date: Sun, 09 Mar 2003 Today's thought is: We are each gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege and
adventure to discover our own special light. - Mary Dunbar All of us are gifted. Every person has a gift that can bring great joy
and light to those who encounter it. Our task is to stand in the sun and create a climate that will develop and nurture our gift.
Sometimes we are afraid to let ourselves believe we have anything special to offer or contribute to the world. We think of
ourselves as plain and untalented, with no gifts or special potential. But if we believe we are limited, we act in a limited way.
We take few risks and follow few paths that might develop our special talents and gifts. In recovery we are learning to love
ourselves and trust ourselves in a whole new way. Now anything is possible. To fully believe in our talents, we need only step
from the darkness into the sun. We will take this first step, trust enough, and start believing that; yes, we do have special gifts.
Today let me be aware of my deep and unfilled desires, dreams, and wishes, which is the first step on the way to accepting our
gifts. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Today's meditation comes from the book Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous
copyright 1990 sharing..ysir.love JoniB


Sunday, 3/9/03, 4:51 AM

Reflection for the DAY..We learn in Gamblers Anonymous that, as we grow spiritually, we find that our old attitudes toward our
instinctual drives need to undergo drastic revisions. Our demands for emotional security and wealth, for personal prestige and
power, all have to be tempered and redirected We learn that the full satisfaction of these demands cannot be the sole end and
aim of our lives. but when we're willing to place spiritual growth first-- then, and only then, do we have a real chance to grow in
healthy awareness and mature love. Am I willing to put spiritual growth first? Today I PRAY..May my development as a spiritual
person temper my habitual hankerings for material security. May I understand that the only real security in life is spiritual. If I
have faith in my Higher Power, these revisions in my attitudes will follow. May I grow first in spiritual awareness. Today I WILL
Remember..Value the life of the spirit. sharing..A Day at a time..GA..The HUB


Sunday, 3/9/03, 4:43 AM
The HUB would like to Congratulate those reaching another Milestone Today!!Kathy M. 3-9-99..4 YEARS!!! Curtis L. 5-9-
01..Josie A 6-9-02..9 Months!! Suzie T 01-09--03..CLAP CLAP CLAP..ThankYOU for Your ES & HOPE!! CELEBRATE
"TODAY"..SOOOO WORTH IT>>YOU ARE!!!:):)


Susan P Sunday, 3/9/03, 4:11 AM

Good morning all. I had a trying Fri, and Sat night, but with the help of the fellowship, and learning to reach out I made it
through. I don't feel hungover this morning, yesterday morning I was emotionally hungover from the night before, and my
mind was playing head games with me. It's so great to talk things over with people, and to see it for what it really is. I
recognized that my addict was trying to come alive last night, and I almost let him, but my family wouldn't give into me. Thank
God for that, although I acted like a spoiled child at the time. When they arrived back home, I apologized, and I feel much
better this morning. I am taking it one day at a time, and doing what I should be doing, even if it takes me a bit of time to
realize my mistake. Thank God for all you precious people, who helped me through my difficult time, and may everyone have a
great gamble free day. Yfir, SusanP

From: Canada
E-mail: spiercey@hotmail.com
Last Day Gambled: Jan29/03


sue Sunday, 3/9/03, 2:17 AM

Good (tired) morning hubsters! Yup - I was awaken by the devil himself this morning (gambling). Got up at about 4:00,
panicked cause my daughter was babysitting last night and never called for a ride home, ran in to her bedroom to see if she
was home. She greeted me with a "hi", told me she got in really late, and as I was walking back to my room realized I was
starving. Which led me, of course, to thoughts of food. But it could not be just normal food, IT WAS THOUGHTS OF THE BUFFET
AT THE CASINO!!! GRRRR! I was so angry. This disease is relentless. It is angry at me for not paying it attention and not giving
in to it so it comes at me in some different form. So now - here I sit - at 5 in the morning, hungry and having urges to gamble.
I am proud of myself in that this is my first weekend without my kids and not gambling. I had a great day...went to my f2f
meeting, went into Boston for the day, went for lobster for dinner...and now my disease is telling me it is gonna wake me up
and bug me. It truly is a baffling, insidious disease that I will NOT give in to. It took away enough of my money, my heart, my
soul, my whole-being. Well, I am grateful that I got through a Saturday without gambling and if this is how I have to pay for
it...I will ask my HP for strength to get through. Thank you all for listening.....I think I will go read page 17 of my yellow book
for a bit.....your hungry friend in massachusetts, sue

From: massachusetts
E-mail: suemass2000@aol.com
Last Day Gambled: 02/22/03


Dave Of Beckenham Sunday, 3/9/03, 12:12 AM

My name is Dave I am a compulsive Gambler and will be till the day I DIE! I spent most of my Gambling life thinking every
thing would be fine if I had lots of manoey. That money was happiness. All the nonsense about it being an emotional problem
Yes right thought I was the expert. How nieve I was. How confused and lost I was. It has taken for ever to get some sanity in
my life. To a point where I am not longer angry all the time. Realising that life is not a battle but a challege. That I can succeed
if I try and learn from my mistakes. IF you asked me if I was a negative thinking person in those days I would have said no.
But being honest I was a very negative thinking feeling person. I gave up with out trying. I put every thing off. Ambition what
is ambition? LOL. How many times did I want to scream but didnt. How many times did I see the worst in every one and every
thing. Did not trust any one. Always expected the worst. WHat was the point of hurting myself. What was the point of denying
myself any thing good to happen. How little control I had in my life. I was over sensitive. Use to react to super market queue,
cinema queue any queue. Abuse use to flow from me most of the time. Anger and pain use to rule my day. Just could not help
behaving badly. Nearly all the time. How long should you take to get wise? Well Shirley sleep sin bed. I am thinking of going
back to join her. Be kind to my body day me thinks? Love Dave

From: Uk For Now!
E-mail: gadaveuk@yahoo.com
Last Day Gambled: 1992 August

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