Religion Hobby of the Masses 1 George W. Bush has made education the centerpiece of his campaign, and some Americans are realizing that the public education system isn't even teaching students how to convert pounds into kilograms - leaving future drug dealers out in the cold. But instead of raising standards and throwing away the fluff, we're told that we need to embrace religion if we want to the system. A state law in Virginia requires 60 seconds of silence before the start of classes in all public schools. A 16-year-old who walked out of class to protest the law – a thinly veiled attempt at bringing prayer into the schools – was disciplined because of it. After the Columbine incident, it was suggested the lack of religion in the United States spurred the massacre. If only Mom, Dad and administrators had made Dylan and Eric love Jesus, they might have had a chat over hot chocolate with Father Francis instead of stockpiling an arsenal of weapons. When the media caught wind of one of the female students being shot after professing her faith, the girl was (wrongfully) turned into a martyr. “Oh, if only all of us had such strong beliefs!” A Goth kid can't cope with being ridiculed? He needs religion! A high school football team is 0-5? They need student-led group prayer! A frat boy can't stop nailing unconscious sorority chicks? A little God'll do ya! Increased religious activity among the young is becoming the panacea for society's ills. And why not? It's trendy to be religious. Only in America could a person couple sartorial display of consumerism with a "What Would Jesus Do?" bracelet, never considering that Jesus probably wouldn't wear FUBU jeans. While religious folk blather on about the evil heathens taking over the country, I've rarely witnessed an atheist or agnostic wasting his breath trying to convince a Christian that death is the end, not the beginning. But over the years, I've been harassed by religious people. It must be the horns and cloven hooves because these people flock to me. A Jamaican Jehovah's Witness wanted to save me from the fiery pits of Hell because I seemed like a “nice guy.” I'm not sure if Jesus would approve of him smoking weed and having two illegitimate children. A Muslim told me that I should convert to Islam because, then, I would have “lifelong best friends.”
Religion Hobby of the Masses 2 Mormons accosted me while visiting friends, and they left only after I told them I was Jewish and I use the blood of Mormons to make matzo. But there are those who merely discuss their beliefs, and they tend to be the ones who do not use their beliefs as a weapon or badge of conformity. Religion is a fascinating topic, but I don't have any interest in being converted. Unfortunately, the current crop of politicians thinks that religion should be a major factor in every American's life. George W. Bush was rightly criticized for proclaiming June 10 “Jesus Day” in Texas, but the Democrats are getting a free ride. Al Gore is a Bible-banging Baptist, and his choice for vice president, Sen. Joseph Lieberman, is Chaim the Crusader. Between the two of them, they'll reinstate the JudeoChristian values we've fought so hard to erode. “I hope it will enable people, all people who are moved, to talk about their faith and about their religion, and I hope that it will reinforce a belief that I feel as strongly as anything else - that there must be a place for faith in America's public life,” Lieberman said. Lieberman also said Americans should not "indulge in the supposition that morality can be maintained without religion." That Lieberman can so easily dismiss faithless Americans proves that religion is alive and well in the United States, superficial though it may be, and no minion of Madalyn Murray O'Hair is going to stop it. I wouldn't mind religious people if they would just shut the fuck up and worship their god(s) privately. If neither eating pork nor drinking alcohol helps someone get through the day, great. I'd rather have a massage and a shot of Jack Daniels, but we all deal with the stresses of life in our own way. But that's not how it is. Freedom of religion means we can spout off about God's will, but we're screwed if we don't believe in a deity. We're overlooked by politicians, and occasionally, blatantly written off as “undeserving” of the freedom that America provides. I'm open to all possibilities, provided none of them interfere with my good times. Apes and aliens getting busy. Lilith screwing over Adam. Marduk wanting worshippers. Dreaming ourselves into existence. I don't disregard any of them.
Religion Hobby of the Masses 3 Some argue that the trick is finding a balance. No, the trick is teaching people that with some issues, it's best to not give a shit. I don't care if you think Joe Smith was a prophet of God, nor do I care if you want to prance around naked in the forest with your coven or if you think quoting Marx's stance on religion is “cool.” You shouldn't intend for your religious beliefs to impact others.