Iowa Septuplets 2nd Edition 1 “Are you there God?” It's me, Bobbi. I can't wait until November, God. That's when my babies are due. Do you think Oprah will be my Lamaze coach? It's not so much that I like her as a person, God, but as a talk show host she's very caring. And I'd love to be on her show... just once or twice. Thank you, God." Two years ago, Bobbi and Kenny McCaughey were cursing God for cursing them with an affliction common among white people who feel children are an entitlement -infertility. Now that science has blessed with seven potential ADD sufferers, they are God's bestest bestest friends in the whole wide universe. "I want people to remember not the babies but the God who made the babies," Kenny said. "I want the world to know that God is good, that by his grace he performs miracles every day." If God is so good, why did the McCaugheys seek fertility treatment? Perhaps he was attempting to perform a miracle by preventing these half-wits from reproducing, but science -- not the Almighty -- ruined everything. Forget the revival meeting hoopla surrounding this formerly infertile couple. Science did produce these babies, not a supreme being. They were conceived in a test tube, not in Jesus Christ's image. "We didn't make a choice," Bobbi said. "There wasn't ever a time where we sat down and said, 'Should we or shouldn't we?' We just said, 'This is God's plan.' " If God's plan was for them to remain infertile, do you think he has assigned them a seat in hell for going against his wishes? God is vengeful, no? Obviously not vengeful enough, as the McCaugheys were paid to "write" a book titled "Seven From Heaven: The Miracle of the McCaughey Septuplets," in honor of the Septuplet's first birthday. Which brings us to the media, he said with disdain. The media offered us a scant three months to recover from the anniversary of Princess Diana's death before hyping the first birthday of the Iowa Septuplets. Kenneth Robert, Alexis May, Natalie Sue, Kelsey Ann, Brandon James, Nathan Roy and Joel Steven have been everywhere this year. They have endorsed Black and Decker power tools and Simplicity sewing patterns. They have been written about in every major publication throughout the world. And, why, just this week, God answered Bobbi's prayer and the broodmare appeared on "Oprah" with her children. But don't think they're greedy. The one thing they insist they won't do is profit from the septuplets' undeserved celebrity. "We're not like a sit-up-and-heel sort of a deal where the kids are on a glass shelf," Kenny said.
Iowa Septuplets 2nd Edition 2 Except when it comes to product endorsements, television appearances, magazine covers, book royalties and hand-outs. Other than that, those kids are strictly off-limits, and they have no intention of making money off them. Doctors are surprised that these freaks of nature, who will presumably grow up to be mommies and unskilled laborers, have managed to hang on long enough to move into their brand new house. That their parents did not pay for. Or build. The house is so enormous that its three-car garage is the same square footage as the tiny two-bedroom ranch house where the McCaugheys are currently living. The new house has two washers and two dryers, two microwaves and two dishwashers. The kitchen has a 14-foot-long island counter and a pantry the size of most bedrooms. More than 126 businesses chipped in for the house. And the McCaugheys feel terrible that businesses had to chip in to support them. "The majority of things that we have done were not necessarily things that we wanted to do, but more like we felt like we ought to do them," said Bobbi McCaughey. So, don't worry, folks. When the septuplets' second birthday rolls around, rest assured that the McCaugheys will be absolutely miserable about making the rounds on all of the talk and news shows and begging for more help.