Genetics 1 With the economy in relatively good shape and crime decreasing, it appears the only topics to rant about relate to reproduction, children and parenthood. No wonder some politicians want to execute 11-year-old murderers. What else can we do for entertainment? Can't execute blacks. It's racist. Can't execute whites. It's passé. Can't execute women. It's a hard sell. But the children? Fry the children! We're sick of 'em. They're cute when they're gurgling blank slates, but as soon as they can walk, talk and point a gun, it's time to strap down those little tax deductions and insert the IV. On one hand, politicians want to encourage people to have children, regardless of their parental capabilities and mental or physical state. More children equal a larger voter base. Get 'em young. Bamboozle them from cradle to grave. On the other hand, once the children are here, politicians continually tsk-tsk many parents for having them. Politicians face the harsh reality that those coveted child tax credits go to even the looniest of loony Americans. And that loony behavior is genetic. Two articles this week caught my eye, and yes, they revolve around the above issues. Esquire did an exposé on an anti-abortion site, its creator and its contributors. (Unwilling to give the bastard more publicity, I will not mention his name or the site's name. I will refer to him as "Pygalgia." Just because.) Newspapers across the United States picked up a story from across the pond about the dilution of the human gene pool due to advances in medicine. In Esquire, the creator of the anti-abortion site Pygalgia describes his obsession with "the babies." His cohorts, an ex-convict who circumcised himself in his prison cell and a 19year-old boy who thought watching his middle-aged mother push out another cretin was "the most beautiful thing in the world," share Pygalgia's unnatural obsession with those damn babies. Pygalgia and friends are 52 cards short of a deck. This is less about fetuses than it is about mental illness. Before settling down and advocating the murder of doctors who perform abortions, Pygalgia engaged in behavior best described as "deviant." Deviating, at least, from his current role as Internet martyr. Genetics 2 "When I was young, anything that gave me penile friction I'd engage in. Men, mules, I'd fuck anything," he said. Joking or not, a supposed man of God and lover of babies would not joke about bestiality. When a girlfriend became pregnant, he pleaded with her to abort and when she refused, he abandoned her and the child. His youthful goal was to become Johnny Marijuanaseed. He wanted every American to be wasted; instead, his dreams were squashed by incarceration. Once Pygalgia left prison, he decided to follow God, for God told him the unborn babies needed protection. And only a former pot smoking, mule-fucking, longhaired dipshit nicknamed "Cowboy Pygalgia" could provide it. In another era, that would have been the end of it. End of the line, Pygalgia. It's the sanitarium for you. But we now live in a kinder, gentler society, where nutcases are free to roam around and spread their seed. While Pygalgia's ex-convict buddy has sworn off women due to our evil nature, Pygalgia has already spawned and undoubtedly, the young student will take after his mentor. A scant 100 years ago, this motley crew would not have had the opportunity to piss in the gene pool. People displaying even a hint of mental illness – self-circumcision being one of those red flags – were shipped off to the insane asylum or locked in the attic. Families knew one another and would whisper, "Don't let your child marry into that family. They're nuts." It was easy to discard the dead weight. People were often picky about who would father and bear their children. It's a free-for-all now. People with enough intelligence to raise children do not want the job. Those who are populating future generations are generally the ones with nothing else to do. "Well, I'm sick of climbing the corporate ladder, and my volleyball team disbanded ... might as well have a kid." And those people are simply not looking at the mental and physical health of potential partners. Aside from my obvious dislike (some might say irrational hatred) of children, my genes are hopelessly flawed. Heart disease. Alcoholism. Diabetes. Depression. Misanthropy. Genetics 3 People who know unequivocally that they or their partner is the carrier for a certain disease or disorder do not care. All that matters are the babies. Those precious babies. With their little overalls, sunglasses, feeding tubes and plastic bubbles. Ensuring the child will be healthy is the last thing on their feeble minds. So the human gene pool continues to get murkier, and this just in -- 1 in 5 children is mentally ill, according to the UK's Mental Health Foundation. It's getting worse by the minute. Where's a terrorist bombing when you need one?
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