How Can I Believe My Husband Anymore After He Cheated On Me? Question: "I'm not sure my husband ever loved me because if he did, he never would have cheated on me with another woman. I know my husband keeps telling me that he loves me and that he never stopped loving me, but despite all that I still have my doubts. How can I believe what my husband says after what he did?” Answer: These feelings are completely normal and natural to have. Many women in this situation have them. And these questions and concerns are all valid. But I have developed my own theory about this over time. And, I know that some people are going to disagree with me on this. And that's totally fine. I believe it's in your best interest to find the solution that works for you and your unique situation. However, in the following article, I’ll tell you my opinion on this topic. I’ll also tell you why I believe it’s possible for men who have had affairs to still love (or to never stop loving) their wives. You Shouldn't Throw Away The Past Because Of What Happened It's easy to see how you could think that since your husband cheated on you that he never really loved you in the first place. And most people believe that you wouldn't cheat on someone that you supposedly love. I respect that opinion. However, I think you're over simplifying the situation if you're willing to just forget about all the good times and the love you shared together before the affair. You need to understand that things change over time. The situations and circumstances of our lives shape our thoughts, behaviors and actions. But this doesn't change the way we felt in the past for someone. Having the attitude that you husband never really loved you to begin with will only prolong your pain and prevents you from facing the real issues that need to be dealt with. It also prevents you from enjoying the happy memories that you had together. In my How Can I Believe My Husband Anymore After He Cheated On Me? opinion, this is simply a by-product from the affair which prevents you from being able to see things for what they really are. In other words, you wonder that since you missed all the signs of the affair, that now you only think he loved you because that's what you wanted to see and feel in your relationship? I understand why you think and feel this way, but it's not fair to you at all. Go easy on yourself here and give yourself a little credit. Your Husband Never Stopped Loving You Many times men who cheat on their wives realize that they've taken them for granted and that they do really care about them, but only after she's furious with him and ready to kick him to the curb. It's not fair to you as a woman, but that's sometimes what happens. I also strongly believe that men don't cheat on their wives simply because they've fallen out of love and are no longer happily married. In many cases, the man is trying to fill a void in his life or is trying to deal with an internal crisis and for whatever reason, he's not sharing his feelings with his wife. Is this a stupidly short sighted choice in light of the damaging consequences? Yes, it is. But it doesn't necessarily mean that they don't love their wives. Now don't misunderstand what I'm saying here. I understand that there are men out there who are repeat offenders and that they'll say anything to justify their actions. And that in a lot of cases, they try and show their feelings through their actions instead of their words. But we're not talking about the repeat offenders in this article. I'm talking about your husband, the man who made a one time mistake and who would give anything to take it back and reverse the clock if his wife would give him the chance. I'm not defending your husband or his actions. But I do believe that it’s possible for a man to have an affair that has little to do with his love for his wife. I know that some will disagree, but that’s my take on this topic. And your situation could be different. But I think it's sad when a woman wants to erase her whole history with her husband simply because he made a mistake. Now you may not want to How Can I Believe My Husband Anymore After He Cheated On Me? save the marriage, and that's another topic altogether. But a onetime mistake should not negate the past and all the treasured memories that you've built up together as a couple. I know you've asked yourself if your husband truly loves you after his affair and I believe that deep down the answer is yes he still does. Realizing this is the first step to salvaging your marriage and your relationship with your husband but you’ve still got a long road ahead of you. If you want more information on how to deal with your emotions after your husband’s affair, check out the most comprehensive surviving an affair system online that has helped thousands of married couples not only heal from an affair, but come out stronger and more in love on the other side. Check out the guide here.