How Can I Believe My Husband Anymore After He Cheated On Me?

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					   How Can I Believe My Husband Anymore After He Cheated On Me?

                               Question:

                               "I'm not sure my husband ever loved me because if he
                               did, he never would have cheated on me with another
                               woman. I know my husband keeps telling me that he
                               loves me and that he never stopped loving me, but
                               despite all that I still have my doubts. How can I
                               believe what my husband says after what he did?”

Answer:

These feelings are completely normal and natural to have. Many women in this
situation have them. And these questions and concerns are all valid. But I have
developed my own theory about this over time. And, I know that some people are
going to disagree with me on this. And that's totally fine. I believe it's in your best
interest to find the solution that works for you and your unique situation.

However, in the following article, I’ll tell you my opinion on this topic. I’ll also tell
you why I believe it’s possible for men who have had affairs to still love (or to
never stop loving) their wives.

You Shouldn't Throw Away The Past Because Of What Happened

It's easy to see how you could think that since your husband cheated on you that
he never really loved you in the first place. And most people believe that you
wouldn't cheat on someone that you supposedly love. I respect that opinion.
However, I think you're over simplifying the situation if you're willing to just
forget about all the good times and the love you shared together before the
affair.

You need to understand that things change over time. The situations and
circumstances of our lives shape our thoughts, behaviors and actions. But this
doesn't change the way we felt in the past for someone. Having the attitude that
you husband never really loved you to begin with will only prolong your pain and
prevents you from facing the real issues that need to be dealt with. It also
prevents you from enjoying the happy memories that you had together. In my
  How Can I Believe My Husband Anymore After He Cheated On Me?

opinion, this is simply a by-product from the affair which prevents you from being
able to see things for what they really are.

In other words, you wonder that since you missed all the signs of the affair, that
now you only think he loved you because that's what you wanted to see and feel
in your relationship? I understand why you think and feel this way, but it's not fair
to you at all. Go easy on yourself here and give yourself a little credit.

Your Husband Never Stopped Loving You

Many times men who cheat on their wives realize that they've taken them for
granted and that they do really care about them, but only after she's furious with
him and ready to kick him to the curb. It's not fair to you as a woman, but that's
sometimes what happens.

I also strongly believe that men don't cheat on their wives simply because they've
fallen out of love and are no longer happily married. In many cases, the man is
trying to fill a void in his life or is trying to deal with an internal crisis and for
whatever reason, he's not sharing his feelings with his wife. Is this a stupidly short
sighted choice in light of the damaging consequences? Yes, it is. But it doesn't
necessarily mean that they don't love their wives.

Now don't misunderstand what I'm saying here. I understand that there are men
out there who are repeat offenders and that they'll say anything to justify their
actions. And that in a lot of cases, they try and show their feelings through their
actions instead of their words. But we're not talking about the repeat offenders in
this article. I'm talking about your husband, the man who made a one time
mistake and who would give anything to take it back and reverse the clock if his
wife would give him the chance.

I'm not defending your husband or his actions. But I do believe that it’s possible
for a man to have an affair that has little to do with his love for his wife. I know
that some will disagree, but that’s my take on this topic. And your situation could
be different. But I think it's sad when a woman wants to erase her whole history
with her husband simply because he made a mistake. Now you may not want to
  How Can I Believe My Husband Anymore After He Cheated On Me?

save the marriage, and that's another topic altogether. But a onetime mistake
should not negate the past and all the treasured memories that you've built up
together as a couple.

I know you've asked yourself if your husband truly loves you after his affair and I
believe that deep down the answer is yes he still does. Realizing this is the first
step to salvaging your marriage and your relationship with your husband but
you’ve still got a long road ahead of you.

If you want more information on how to deal with your emotions after your
husband’s affair, check out the most comprehensive surviving an affair system
online that has helped thousands of married couples not only heal from an affair,
but come out stronger and more in love on the other side.

Check out the guide here.

				
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