September, 2005 Volume 5 Issue 3
Don Chauvin, District Governor
Don Chauvin & Janet ♦ Daniel Doiron—Houma
Grand Isle, Golden Meadow, Houma, and
assistance and gave key ♦ Mike Hebert—Gonzales
Hurricane Katrina’s Visit points to club Presidents as Donaldsonville, East Ascension, Gonzales,
By : Distr ict Gov ern or Don Ch auv in these clubs prepare to activate North Ascension and Thibodaux
a disaster relief plan.
Thursday, September 8th, was a Joe Hidalgo took center stage to The message to all Presidents ♦ Tom Bergeron—B.R. Capital City
very special day. This was the day discuss the distribution areas was simple, the district’s Baker, BR Capital City, Plaquemine, Port
an emergency President’s Meeting setup around District 6200 for relief effort must come from
was held in Lafayette at 5:00 PM. securing relief products. Allen, and Zachary
the club level and the
Logic tells you that at best only Rotarian Joe expressed his foundation was prepared to be
25% of the Presidents would thanks for all of the goods
there for help.
♦ Douglas Braymer-BR Sunrise
attend, but what a surprise to see contributed by other Rotary Baton Rouge, BR Sunrise, Denham Springs,
nearly every one of the 50 clubs in clubs around the US. Governor Don explained that False River/New Roads, and St. Francisville
District 6200 represented at this our district had agreed to help
important Katrina Relief meeting. Joe asked a representative from District 6840 which includes
Shelter Box, Jerry Palmer, to the City of New Orleans and
♦ Tom McGinnis-Patterson
PDG Frank Bradshaw discussed demonstrate the use of these the entire Mississippi Gulf Franklin, Morgan City, New Iberia, Patterson,
the District’s Foundation and the Shelter Boxes and their Coast. Nearly every Rotarian and St. Martinville
role it would play in providing availability for any evacuee in this neighboring district
relief. PDG Frank asked the within District 6200 or
District’s Technology Chairman, elsewhere. Each Shelter Box
was displaced by Katrina and ♦ Joe Wolf, Sr-Lafayette
Governor Don asked all to
Greg Landry, to review the has two tents and necessary Abbeville, Lafayette, Laf. North, Laf. Pinhook,
adopt this sister district.
District’s Disaster Relief Manual equipment. Each tent can and Laf. South
and explain the process for house a family of four. The This meeting was the final
applying for relief grants from our tents are designed to last piece of the puzzle for the ♦ Tom Darbonne-Opelousas Sunrise
Foundation. PDG Frank explained approximately 6 months. Disaster Committee to be put
that the Foundation Trustees would Eunice, Mamou, Opelousas, Opelousas
meet every Saturday to review Don Eisenberg and Tom Sunrise, and Ville Platte
grant requests and the first was Randolph with the Rotary Club A big THANK YOU goes out
scheduled for September 10. of Baton Rouge both shared to all who demonstrated ♦ Becky Hudson-Welsh
their expertise (and they have SERVCE Above Self!
Later, Disaster Relief Coordinator lots of it) in providing disaster Crowley, Jennings, Kaplan, Kinder, Lake
Charles East, Oakdale, Welsh
The Paradoxical Commandments ♦ Mike Hayes-Westlake
By: Dr. Kent M. Keith—from his book titled Anyw ay: The Paradoxical Commandments: Finding
Beauregard-Sunrise, DeQuincy, DeRidder,
Personal Meaning in a Crazy World
GR Lake Charles, Lake Charles, Sulphur,
Sulphur Sunrise & Westlake
People are illogical, forgotten tomorrow. follow only top dogs.
unreasonable, and self- Do good anyway. Fight for a few underdogs anyway. Always ready to provide examples of
centered. SERVICE Above Self
Love them anyway. Honesty and frankness make What you spend years building may
you vulnerable. be destroyed overnight.
If you do good, people will Be honest and frank anyway. Build anyway.
accuse you of selfish ulterior
motives. The biggest men and women, People really need help but may
Do good anyway. with the biggest ideas can be attack you if you do help them.
shot down by the smallest men Help people anyway
If you are successful, you win and women with the smallest
false friends and true enemies. minds. Give the world the best you have and
Succeed anyway. Think big anyway. you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have
The good you do today will be People favor underdogs but anyway.
Page 2 Let’s Talk
Meet Assistant Governor Mike Hebert
Region II Assistant Governor is of Gonzales. He has two sons— and it is a shining example of his
Mike Hebert who has been a Jason and Michael and is proud company’s artistic talent.
member of the Rotary Club of to say that he has six
Gonzales for over 20 years—17 grandchildren—Dru, Brock, Luke, This is Mike’s first year serving
of those years with perfect Houston, Holden and Hadley. as an Assistant Governor and he
attendance. has enjoyed every minute of this
For the past 26 years, Mike has new assignment.
He has served his club as owned and operated the Athletic
Secretary, President and Center in Gonzales. His business
numerous years as a director. A serves a variety of athletic
Mike Hebert, Region II two stone Paul Harris Fellow, needs for all of Ascension Parish
Assistant Governor Mike is also a Benefactor for the and the surrounding area.
Member of the
Rotary Club of Gonzales Mike’s company did the art
Mike was born on March 23, 1947 design for the logo being used
and has been a lifelong resident for the 2006 District Conference May 5-6, 2006
District 6200 Simplified Grants Awarded
By: PDG Frank Bradshaw, District Rotary Foundation Coordinator
I just wanted to bring everyone up-to- potable water project to China
date on the recent review of the provide water to Cow Island 10. Rotary Club of Port Allen ~
District Simplified Grant Program area. $1,200 ~ Thanksgiving
applications by the District Rotary 2. Rotary Club of Baker ~ celebration for Senior
Foundation Committee. $2,230 ~ literacy project with Citizens
the Baker School system 11. Rotary Club of St.
First, the committee would like to 3. Rotary Club of Crowley ~ Francisville ~ $400 ~
thank all the clubs who took the $692 ~ Calendar project with Dictionaries for school
initiative to make application ~ we had local school system
31 applications seeking $129,227 in 4. Rotary Club of Denham 12. Rotary Club of Sulphur
funds for outstanding projects on Springs ~ $1,000 ~ Park Sunrise ~ $1,025 ~
local, regional and international Equipment Handicapped Baseball
scale. With so many outstanding 5. Rotary Club of East 13. Rotary Club of Welsh ~
projects and only $20,676 in District Ascension ~ $1,000 ~ Literacy $1,000 ~ Community
Simplified Grant Funds available for Project in Guatemala Assistance Program
this Rotary Year to award, the 6. Rotary Club of Gonzales ~
committee faced a daunting tasking in $1,629 ~ Exercise Equipment I wish we would have had the
evaluating the applications and for Senior Center resources to fund all these
selecting those projects to receive 7. Rotary Club of Greater Lake worthwhile projects ~ and its is
funding this Rotary year. Charles ~ $1,500 ~ Equipment my hope that you will support our
for the Women's Shelter push to fund the Foundation ~ as
After much consideration, the District
8. Rotary Clubs of Lafayette the more we fund our foundation,
Foundation Committee decided to fund
and Plaquemine ~ $2,500 ~ the more money this District will
joint project ~ Vision be able to re-invest into the
equipment ~ Honduras clubs for their individual
1. Rotary Clubs of Abbeville and
9. Rotary Club of Morgan City ~ projects.
Kaplan ~ $2,500 each ~ joint
$1,500 ~ Goodwill Project in
Page 3 Volume 5 Issue 3
SERVICE Above Self
Meet Region I Assistant District Governor Daniel J. Doiron
By : Dan ie l Doir on
I have been a Rotarian for seven this time is that Rotary gives me ness Administration. I presently
years minus about eight months my self-worth in ways that noth- am owned by three different busi-
when I took a break from the ing else has. nesses: Fabregas Music Store, LLC,
world. Then I remembered, “No which is a full line retail music
man is an island.” I am a multiple Paul Harris Fel- store established in 1898 by my
low and a benefactor. Mention- great-grandfather. My brother
On a club level I have served on ing this is not my forte, I’m sure and partner is the General Man-
numerous committees, chaired it is expected in an autobiogra- ager. My great-uncle started our
committees, and even invented a phy about my Rotary back- juke box and coin operated busi-
few committees. I was the ground. ness in 1938. I am the General
President of the Houma Rotary Manager of this company, known
Club in this millennium, (under As Assistant Governor of Region
I, I have a few thoughts already as F.M.S., INC. I also share in the
Past District Governor Frank
stored in my memory banks. I joy of rental property.
was a great year in my life even feel very humbled to walk into a My wife Trudy and I will celebrate
though I didn’t realize it until I Rotary meeting or event in my 30 years of marriage in November.
totaled all the points our club region and be shown the respect She is a retired school teacher
had scored in that Rotary year. and reverence clubs give their who loves being retired. She’s in Daniel J. Doiron
(I also grew as a person.) Assistant District Governors. I the garden club, sewing club, and Region I
also think the title should be loves to read and fish. She’s got a
Assistant District Governor
I learned how to lead a board changed to “Assistant to the Member of the Rotary Club of
million dollar smile and eyes that
meeting by using the famed work Governor,” “cause, we ain’t all Houma
melt my heart.
of somebody named, “Robert’s dat.”
Rules of Order.” I think that book My son, Arthur, is a student at
should follow “The Origin of Man- My educational background and Nicholls State University with an
kind” by God. I learned how to professional background are one interest in Education. My daughter,
speak before an audience of and the same. I learned more Danielle, is a Resident Doctor, who
people, who could buy me with a about hard work, honesty and recently graduated from the LSU
“I presently am
team work from the family of
dime, or sue me for improper air
replacement in by breathing twelve I came from, my
School of Medicine. owned by three
neighbors who hired me to cut My favorite interests are salt
approach based on the square
the grass and work around their water marsh fishing, keeping busy, different
foot capacity of our meeting
houses for 25¢ an hour, and the Rotary, family and friends, as well
job I had from 4:00 P.M. to 11:00 as yard work, but (no flowers, businesses:...”
I also learned how to beg with P.M. at a convenience store four please) trees, bushes and grass.
dignity, recognize the value of days a week while attending
public recognition, and use diplo- college at Nicholls State Univer- In conclusion, thank you for allow-
matic skills that could solve the sity. I do have an Associate ing me to introduce myself to our
problems at the United Nations. Science Degree from Nicholls District 6200 Rotarians.
My personal thought on Rotary at State University, 1975, in Busi-
Page 4 Let’s Talk
Your Membership Minute By: Jana Bodensteiner, coordinator, Membership Development
Take a moment and know how to explain Rotary. Suggest that
think about how you Rotary to others in a Rotary membership is
were introduced to concise and appealing a gift, and emphasize
Rotary. Who invited way. how important it is to
you to your first share this gift with
Rotary meeting? Who Regardless of the others. You may want
invited you to join reason for their to point out that
your club? hesitation, a change in someone was once
perspective may nice enough to share
Now think about all of motivate more Rotary with each one
the great people Rotarians to invite of them, and so they
you've met, important others to come to a should all extend the
projects you've Rotary event with courtesy and share
contributed to, them. Perhaps if Rotary with others.
interesting places members focus on all Once members are
you've been, and the of the benefits of focused on how much
people you've helped Rotary and think of they have enjoyed and
throughout your time Rotary membership as gained from their time
in Rotary. a gift to be shared in Rotary and how
instead of product to appreciative they are
It's probably fair to be sold, they will be of the person who
“For many say that, considering more inspired to invite proposed them, they
all you've gained others to join Rotary. may be more open to
people, through your the idea of sharing the
joining membership in Rotary, Because August is gift of Rotary with
you appreciate the Membership and others in their lives.
Rotary is a person who first Extension Month, now
invited you to your is the time to challenge The next step is for
life-changing club. If it hadn't been your club members to each club member to
event. “ for that person's kind invite someone into come up with a list of
invitation, you might Rotary. After all, the qualified individuals
not have had the fact that membership who might make a
same opportunities for in Rotary is by good Rotarian:
fellowship, service, invitation only means friends, family
and international that the survival of members, business
exposure. your club depends on associates, neighbors,
members sharing and other
For many people, Rotary with others. acquaintances. Some
joining Rotary is a life- members may say
changing event. So First, spend a few that they can't think of
why do so many minutes facilitating a any good prospective
Rotarians find it discussion among club members. To address
difficult to ask others members in which they this issue, hand out
to join? reflect on the person index cards and ask
who proposed each of your members to use
Perhaps members are them for membership. the card to keep a list
uncomfortable Ask them to consider of every person they
approaching other how much their time in meet or speak to in a
people and "selling" Rotary has meant to 24-hour period –
Rotary to them. them and how much surely one of those
Maybe they don't they have gained from (Continued on page 5)
Page 5 Volume 5 Issue 3
SERVICE Above Self
(Continued from page 4) join me?"
people is worthy of the gift of them. Once club members
Rotary! Finally, spend a few minutes having think about recruitment as
your club members write down sharing a gift instead of
At this point, it's important to some of the reasons they're in making a sales call, you
discuss how club members Rotary. Encourage them to discuss should see an increase in the
should approach these these reasons with the next guest number of prospective
potential Rotarians. It can be they bring to a club event. Sharing members invited to club
intimidating for both the the gift of Rotary is more than just events.
Rotarian and the prospective inviting someone to a meeting; it
member if the Rotarian tries also includes sharing personal Be sure to follow up with your
to "sell" Rotary and explain Rotary experiences with the people members throughout the year
everything about its programs around you. When prospective so that recruitment becomes a
in the initial invitation. members hear about the great continuous activity in your
Therefore, it can be beneficial experiences that their hosts have club and so that every
to keep the initial contact as had in Rotary, they can start to member is held accountable
simple as possible. Remind visualize the great experiences they for their recruitment activities.
your members that the initial might have in Rotary. As club members learn to
approach can be very discuss their own personal
effortless; in many cases, it's At the end of your program, remind experiences and the benefits
simply inviting someone to club members that inviting of Rotary with prospective
breakfast or lunch or saying someone to a Rotary event opens members, they'll soon
something like, "I'm going to a up a whole world of exciting new discover that inviting
meeting later this week with a opportunities for that person. individuals and sharing Rotary
program that I think you'd find Encourage them to share the gift of is easier than they thought it
interesting. Would you like to Rotary with the people around would be.
SERVICE Above Self
By: RI President Carl-Wilhelm Stenhammar
Taking designed to help people learn to read and themselves and their families.
Service write. We have equipped schools,
Above Self educated In 2005-06, I also encourage
as the theme teachers, and given children the clothing Rotarians to continue their work on
for this and books required to attend classes. water management, another issue
important And in communities throughout the that Rotarians have effectively
year reflects world, Rotarians are taking the time to addressed in many parts of the world.
my desire to visit schools, reading to children and The continued action of Rotarians is
use listening to them read in turn. Despite desperately needed to alleviate hunger
RI 2005-06 President
Carl-Wilhelm Stenhammar the best and
our many successes, countless adults and improve the health and well being
most cannot read or write a simple sentence or of all those who are deprived of this
meaningful words to inspire Rotarians. I are functionally illiterate — that is, they essential resource.
prefer to focus on those areas in which we are unable to use reading, writing,
have demonstrated significant strength in and calculation to engage in most
the past and that represent the most basic work and normal daily activities.
Clearly, Rotary’s considerable
One such area is literacy and education. experience and continued
From one-on-one tutoring efforts to large- commitment is needed in addressing
scale literacy programs, Rotary clubs have this problem, which limits so many
developed an impressive array of projects people in their efforts to care for
Page 6 Let’s Talk
What Makes a Great Bulletin? programs; make sure each member
knows their scheduled day. Also,
By: Mary Donaldson, Rotary Club of Kinder make a list of the important dates
to specific events. Make sure
Each Tuesday at noon, the Make a template of the everyone knows what events are
Kinder Rotarians look newsletter. This makes it scheduled.
forward to fellowship, easy to update with the
good food, and a little fun. current events from our club Each week include a message from
the club President. This can be
“Keep an As our club’s bulletin and community. Each week
informative, inspiring, or just plain
editor, I try to make our feature the highlights from
updated list of bulletin entertaining and the program as well as a humorous. Also, add an inspiring
informative. photograph. quotation related to the theme,
local and “Service Above Self.”
district Rotary What makes a successful Keep an updated list of local
Don’t forget the fines! (My
club bulletin? First of all, and district Rotary news and
news and attend all meetings and occasionally feature favorite part) List all the fines and
board meetings. Make sure International Rotary News. clearly state what the guilty party
occasionally to take detailed notes. If List all the guests and did to deserve to be fined.
feature you are unable to attend, visiting Rotarians. Keep
have someone take notes track of the attendance, Have fun with it! Change the order
International for you. Get the names of show who was not in around occasionally to keep it
all the visitors and the attendance, and stress the fresh. I want my fellow Rotarians
Rotary News. “ guest speaker, and photos importance of attending to look forward to reading their
if possible. regularly. Keep an updated weekly bulletin.
list of the upcoming
Page 7 Volume 5 Issue 3
Rotary Club of St. Martinville Cruises with
President Lon Latiolais was all Captain Ray
smiles as he and his fellow Ro- Pellerin checked
tarians played host to District the Internet for
Governor Don Chauvin and his the exact time of
wife Janet. The St. Martinville the sunset for
club hit a home run when they Henderson, LA and
arranged for Governor Don and manuvered the
Jan to get a sunset cruise in the yacht into perfect
Atchafalya Basin on the beautiful position for
BEAU RÊVE, a Royal Acadian Yacht Governor Don to
owned by Rotarian Ray Pellerin. capture this
President Lon scheduled the memorable sunset
regular business meeting on the photo.
yacht one hour before Captain
Ray Pellerin started the
view and cruise
infamous cruise. After the
business meeting the Board of
Directors were joined by several
will be talked
other St. Martinville Rotarians
about by all who
and their wives on a perfectly
attended for some
timed cruise of a Louisiana
treasure, the Atchafalya Basin.
A portion of the group of Club Presidents & disaster
representatives assembled for an emergency meeting held
in Lafayette, LA on Sept. 8, 2005
Page 8 Let’s Talk
DISTRICT 6200 AUGUST 2005Club
Membership, Attendance and Foundation Goals
Club Members % Rank Foundation Club Members % Rank Foundation
6/30/2005 Current Attendance Goal To Date 6/30/2005 Current Attendance Goal To Date
GROUP I - membership to 25 members GROUP III - membership 51 to 75 members
Baker 22 22 1,900 Crowley 63 63 81.00% 5,000
BR - Capital City 12 13 77.00% 1,200 Eunice 64 60 57.05% 6,500
Denham Springs 17 17 1,700 Franklin 58 62 5,000
DeQuincy 17 15 86.99% 1,300 Gonzales 57 58 75.42% 4,000
False River-New Roads 15 15 1,000 GR Lake Charles 66 79 72.50% 12,000
Golden Meadow 22 25 81.00% 600 Houma 83 84 74.32% 7,000 10,547
Grand Isle 13 12 400 Lafayette - South 51 61 72.45% 4,800
Jennings 20 18 85.00% 2,300 Lake Charles 69 71 73.25% 6,000 3,337
Kaplan 20 20 75.00% 2,000 Morgan City 59 61 78.77% 6,300
Lafayette - Pinhook 12 12 89.00% 900 St. Francisville 56 54 48.00% 2,600
Lake Charles - East 9 9 500 Sulphur 66 68 58.96% 61,400
Lockport 24 23 54.00% 2,400 Ville Platte 52 51 71.00% 5,300
North Ascension 23 10 1,200
Sulphur Sunrise 22 18 71.93% 1,050 GROUP IV - membership of 76 and over
Westlake 22 19 86.00% 1,700 Baton Rouge 495 493 45.98% 35,000 638
BR - Sunrise 123 117 11,000
GROUP II - membership 26 to 50 members Lafayette 155 155 66.73% 15,000
Abbeville 49 48 79.23% 4,500 Thibodaux 95 94 5,000
Beauregard Vernon Sun 32 30 93.25% 1,400 4,050
DeRidder 33 32 81.03% 3,200 DIST TOTALS 2567 2553 74.03% 212,750 19,047
Donaldsonville 31 31 1,200
East Ascension 42 42 87.12% 4,100
Houma - Terrebonne 45 51 2,150
Kinder 31 29 74.50% 3,000
Lafayette - North 27 28 77.69% 2,900
Mamou 28 28 500
New Iberia 39 39 67.00% 4,100
Oakdale 36 29 500
Opelousas 48 46 85.45% 4,500 475
Opelousas - Sunrise 28 24 91.00% 2,800
Patterson 28 27 60.00% 1,700
Plaquemine 47 46 67.93% 4,800
Port Allen 29 29 1,500
St. Martinville 33 32 62.50% 1,300
Welsh 33 34 83.00% 3,300
Zachary 44 46 4,500
Page 9 Volume 5 Issue 3
Rotary Promotes Literacy
Close to a billion people lack the most basic literacy skills with millions more functionally illiterate, lacking the tools to meet the
demands of everyday life. Every July, Rotary clubs across the world focus on ways to address these problems through literacy
This year, RI President Carl-Wilhelm Stenhammar continues Rotary’s emphasis on literacy, and the key role Rotary clubs can play
in helping promote literacy throughout the world, with the Presidential Resource Group on Literacy.
In addition to President Carl’s personal initiatives, Rotary International offers a number of resources to help Rotary clubs plan and
implement local and international literacy projects. For more information visit the Rotary web site, www.rotary.org, and see the
♦ The WCS Projects Exchange Database
♦ Service Opportunities: Literacy
♦ Literacy projects at the 2005 RI Convention
♦ The Community Projects Database
1. Organize a public awareness campaign encouraging parents to read to their children.
2. Donate books to students and class libraries at home and abroad.
3. Schedule a reading hour at a local library or school when club members would read to children.
4. Provide child care for parents attending literacy classes.
5. Reward students who read the most books, win a spelling bee or book report contest, or tutor others.
Points of Interest
♦ Ninety-eight percent of the world’s illiterate population is in developing countries.
♦ Fifty percent of the world’s illiterate people live in India and China.
♦ More than 50 percent of the population of Africa is illiterate.
♦ Two-thirds of all those who lack literacy and numeracy skills are women.
♦ More than 130 million school-age children are not attending classes.
Page 10 Volume 5 Issue 3
Two countries, one destination —
And a new century of service!
Just as Rotary’s mission of peace and understanding unites people every-
where, a spirit of cooperation and togetherness links the cities of Malmo
and Copenhagen, a spirit symbolized by the bridge that connects them. The
2006 RI Convention is not only the first such Rotary celebration in the Nor-
dic region — it’s also the first to embrace the hospitality of host countries.
The 97th annual RI Convention presents a remarkable opportunity to build
your own bridges of friendship and service with fellow Rotarians and come
away with new ideas and inspiration that will resonate into the future.
Rotarians are encouraged to use materials
from RI’s Humanity in Motion public image
campaign to attract positive publicity for
their service efforts.
Global Public Image Campaign
“Humanity in Motion” (Media Kit)
These files are included on the “Humanity in Motion” Global Public Image Campaign CD-ROM that Rotarians can use to obtain gratis
or low-cost placements with their local media. The CD-ROM contains television and radio public service announcements as well as
print, Web, and outdoor ad designs with a polio eradication theme. Rotary members can order the CD-ROM by sending a fax to the
Rotary International warehouse at 847-866-3276 and requesting item #608 or by ordering online at Shop@Rotary.org.
Remember, public image is tied to membership gains!! ~ Ed Futa, RI General Secretary, Rotary World, July 2005
We’re on the web! Rotary International
Visit us at : Don Chauvin, District Governor
Visit our District 6200 website and
check out our all new Katrina Relief
information page. The web address
This is where you will find your
grant relief forms. But you best P.O. Box 44365
hurry! Lafayette, LA 70504
Cost of an Oil Change
Oil Change instructions for Women: everywhere from holes. Cleverly 34) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the hide old oil filter among trash in 35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes
mileage reaches 3000 miles since trash can to avoid environmental because wrench hit bowling
the last oil change. penalties. Drink a beer. trophy.
2) 2) Drink a cup of coffee. 17) Buddy shows up; finish case of 36) Beer.
3) 3) 15 minutes later, write a check beer with him. Decide to finish oil 37) Clean up hands and forehead and
and leave with a properly main- change tomorrow so you can go bandage as required to stop blood
tained vehicle. see his new garage door opener. flow.
18) Sunday: Skip church because "I 38) Beer.
Money spent: gotta finish the oil change." Drag 39) Beer.
Oil Change $20.00 pan full of old oil out from under- 40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
Coffee $ 1.00 neath car. Cleverly dump oil in 41) Beer.
Total hole in back yard instead of taking 42) Lower car from jack stands.
$21.00 it back to Kragen to recycle. 43) Accidentally crush remaining case
19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled of new motor oil.
during step 18. 44) Move car back to apply more kitty
Oil Change instructions for Men: 20) Beer? No, drank it all yesterday. litter to fresh oil spilled during
1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto 21) Walk to 7-11; buy beer. steps 23 - 43.
parts store and buy a case of oil, 22) Install new oil filter making sure to 45) Beer.
filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and apply a thin coat of oil to gasket 46) Test drive car.
a scented tree, write a check for surface. 47) Get pulled over: arrested for
$50.00. 23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into driving under the influence.
2) Stop by 7 - 11 and buy a case of engine. 48) Car gets impounded.
beer, write a check for $20, drive 24) Remember drain plug from step 49) Call loving wife, make bail.
home. 11. 50) 12 hours later, get car from im-
3) Open a beer and drink it. 25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pound yard.
4) Jack car up Spend 30 minutes pan.
looking for jack stands. 26) Remember that the used oil is Money spent:
5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal buried in a hole in the back yard,
car. along with drain plug. Parts
6) In frustration, open another beer 27) Drink beer. $ 50.00
and drink it. 28) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud DUI Ticket
7) Place drain pan under engine. for drain plug Re-shovel oily dirt $2,500.00
8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench. into hole. Steal sand from kid’s Impound fee
9) Give up and use crescent wrench. sandbox to cleverly cover oily $ 75.00
10) Unscrew drain plug. patch of ground and avoid envi- Bail
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: ronmental penalties. Wash drain $ 1500.00
splash hot oil on you in process. plug in lawnmower gas. Beer
Cuss. 29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil $ 40.00
12) Crawl out from under car to wipe is now on the floor. Throw kitty Total
hot oil off of face and arms. Throw litter on oil spill. $4,165.00
kitty litter on spilled oil. 30) Drink beer.
13) Have another beer while watching 31) Crawl under car getting kitty litter But, hey, you know the job was done
oil drain. into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag right!
14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil used to clean drain plug. Slip with
filter wrench. stupid crescent wrench tightening
15) Give up; crawl under car and drain plug and bang knuckles on
hammer a screwdriver through oil frame.
filter and twist off. 32) Bang head on floorboards in
16) Crawl out from under car with reaction to step 31.
dripping oil filter splashing oil 33) Begin cussing fit.
If you always do what you’ve always done,
you’ll always get what you’ve always got!
May 5-6, 2006
District 6200 Postage
P.O. Box 44365
Lafayette, LA 70504
The following businesses have committed to help sponsor your 2006 District Conference
scheduled for May 5-6, 2006. We ask that you please thank them the next time you
visit their business. To add your business to this list simply call
Joell Perry, Conference Chair, at 225-647-5110.
St. Elizabeth Hospital
Ascension Specialty Advertising
Gordon R. Crawford 304 E. Ascension Street
Louisiana Injury Lawyer Gonzales, LA 70737
324 E. Worthy 225.647.5110
Gonzales, LA 70737
225.647.2881 United Community Bank
Attorney at Law