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DECEMBER 29 2011 - JANUARY 4, 2012

      Healthy?                                                                                              Robyn. We need
                                                                                                           a pop star whose
                                                                                                                           A Guide To What We’re Barely Putting Up With This Week

                                                                                                                                                                             The fact that there’s
                                                                                                                                                                            still one more Twilight
                                                                                                          performances are
  Covance is looking for healthy men and women to take part in a                                            as sweet, weird,
                                                                                                                                                                            movie for us to endure
                                                                                                                                                                            before the entire cast
  clinical research study involving an investigational medication.                                          and explosive as                                                   slinks back to the
                                                                                                                                                                                                          The Zookeeper, Jack
                                                                                                         Pop Rocks. She’d do                    The Chew, DC                                             And Jill, The Change-
                                                                                                                                                                             Canadian teen soaps
                                                                                                          those somersaults                Cupcakes, Chef Roblé                                         Up, and the rest of the
                                                                                                                                                                              from whence they
                                                                                                           even if there were                & Co., and the glut                                          children’s-movies-
                                                                                                                                                                               came. Dawn can’t
     To qualify for research study 8245-577 you must be:                                                      no cameras.                   of cooking/catering               break fast enough.
                                                                                                                                                                                                              for-adults trend.
                                                                                                                                           shows on TV. Making                                             2011 will always be
                                  A non-smoking man or woman age 18 to 50                                                                   a batch of bite-size                                          remembered as the
                                                                                                                                                                                                             year that rejected
                                  Able to participate in 1 stay of 9 days / 8                                                               appetizers is barely
                                                                                                                                                                                                          Nickelodeon sitcom
                                                                                                                                           entertaining enough
                                  nights and make 2 outpatient visits                                                                     to fill an afternoon, let                                             B-stories were
                                                                                                                                           alone hour after hour                                         made into grown-up
                                                                                                                                             across TV channel                                              Hollywood movies
                                  Participants will receive compensation up to                                                                 after channel.                                               for no real reason.

                                  $2500 for time and participation.

                                                                                                                                                                                                               Mr. VH1, HLN,
                                                                                                                           Missoni                                                                              CNN, & MTV,
                                                                                                                                                          Wikipedia’s grim, horrific
                                                                                                                         for Target,                                                                            Dr. Drew. Will
                                                                                                                                                       “personal appeal” ads. These
  Think you can help?                                                                                                   Versace for                    are the Sally Struthers “just a
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  2012 be the
  Then call 800-732-2528,                                                                                                 H&M, and                    dollar a day” ads of our era. Also,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                 year Dr. Drew
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  pulls Nancy
  Text COVANCE to 77982 or                                                                                              other high-                      our era is incredibly stupid.
                                                                                                                                                                                                  Grace’s ultimate cable-
                                                                                                                        low capsule
  Visit                                                                              collaborations. Expensive                                                              pundit/narcissist move and
                                                                                                         labels should just skip the                                                             appears on Dancing With
                                                      3402 Kinsman Blvd., Madison, WI 53704                middleman and put the                                                                The Stars? If they change its
                                                                                                          clothes directly on eBay.                                                             name to Dr. Drew’s Dancing
                                                                                                                                                                                                With The Stars, then maybe!

                                                                                                                        WISCONSIN UNION
                                                                                                                                                          2011- 2012 Great History. Bright Future.

                                                           Now Enrolling
                                                           at Our                      Campus
                                                           Beauty Services                                                                                                                                    ONLINE
                                                           Open to the Public                                         S AT U R D A Y,

                                                                                                          The Wisconsin Union Theater Season is programmed by the
                                                                                                          Wisconsin Union Directorate Student Performing Arts Committee.
          All services are performed by students under the direct supervision of licensed instructors.    The Theater Season is supported in part by a grant form the                 A WISCONSIN UNION
                                                                                                          Wisconsin Arts Board with funds from the State of Wisconsin and
                                                                                                          the National Endowment for the Arts.
                                                                                                                                                                                 DIRECTORATE EXPERIENCE

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