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					Title:
You Can Improve Your Relationship

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851

Summary:
It seems as if creating successful relationships with our significant
others and parenting children are two of the most difficult jobs we face
and yet we get no formal training in either. It’s as if people believe
that we are born with an inherent ability to do these two things. Yet,
look around us. In the US, the divorce rate is slightly over 50%! I don’t
know anywhere but baseball where a 50% average is a good thing.

Couples go through life getting along when times are g...


Keywords:
Relationship, control, communication, divorce, satisfaction, coaching,
conflict, couples, behavior,


Article Body:
It seems as if creating successful relationships with our significant
others and parenting children are two of the most difficult jobs we face
and yet we get no formal training in either. It’s as if people believe
that we are born with an inherent ability to do these two things. Yet,
look around us. In the US, the divorce rate is slightly over 50%! I don’t
know anywhere but baseball where a 50% average is a good thing.

Couples go through life getting along when times are good; and fighting
with, ignoring, or leaving each other when things get tough. Most people
believe that to seek help with their relationships means to admit a
certain kind of defeat that says something about who they are as a
person. Or possibly, they believe that relationships are something we are
just supposed to be able to manage on our own. Or, finally, some people
believe that those out there helping couples can’t know any more than
they do. After all, what’s to know about keeping relationships together?

Well, the truth is that there is a whole lot to learn when it comes to
relationships. Unfortunately, the only training most of us ever receive
is the passive learning we get through the modeling of the adults who
live in our house with us and the media. Now, I don’t know about you, but
my parents had only received the informal training they got from their
parents, and they from my great grandparents and so on back through the
generations. There is so much more to know about relationships than that!

Also, my parents have helped support that 50% statistic cited earlier in
that they divorced sometime around their 25th wedding anniversary. What I
learned about relationships from watching them is that couples never
argue, especially in front of the children. On the surface, my parents
had a very happy marriage but my father experienced a stereotypical mid-
life crisis and suddenly questioned the meaning of “life” and decided
marriage was holding him back somehow.
In some ways, this type of training may have been as bad as those who
have parents who argue all the time. Disagreements are a natural by-
product of relationships. It is virtually impossible for two people to
come together and create a life without some of their ideals, values,
opinions or day-to-day activities coming into conflict with each other.
The question becomes how the couple manages this conflict.

There are many things to consider when speaking about couples and their
challenges and areas for growth and development. The first is
compatibility. I know there is an expression that says opposites attract
and I believe there is some accuracy in that statement when you think of
attraction as that chemical interaction that occurs when two people meet
and are attracted. This chemical attraction doesn’t care what the other
person’s values are, what is important to him or her, the personality
characteristics involved, or what either of you likes to do in your spare
time. Compatibility is a key for a successful, healthy relationship. Go
to www.therelationshipcenter.biz and take the free Assessment to
determine your compatibility with your partner.

A second consideration is simply that there are major differences in how
men are in relationships compared to how women are. Women generally don’t
understand men because the men don’t act like women and similarly, men
don’t understand women because they don’t act like men. And since a woman
has never been a man and a man has never been a woman, how does each
learn about these important differences? John Gray researched and wrote
about these issues in his book, Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus.
But I would say that the majority of people in relationships don’t take
the time to learn about these gender differences. It is easier to point a
finger and blame the other person for his or her “irrational” behavior.

As mentioned earlier, a third area of growth is learning how to manage
conflict. There are time proven methods for resolving conflict that we
don’t learn in school or from a book. There are ways to actually hear
each other in relationships. By placing the relationship FIRST in
importance, these methods can be implemented by couples to greatly
improve their satisfaction.

There is so much to learn about satisfying relationships that your
parents never showed you. Please don’t become one of the statistics of
divorce or perhaps worse, stay in a miserable relationship to honor your
marriage vows while having so many regrets about your life as the time
ticks away.

Take charge and take control of your life. Learn some new ways to improve
the relationship you are already in or to prepare yourself for being a
better, improved partner for the next person in your life. Contact Kim at
708-957-6047 or email at Kim@TheRelationshipCenter.biz about relationship
coaching or take one the many Teleclasses scheduled on the Events
Calendar at www.TheRelationshipCenter.biz. Don’t wait until it is too
late.

				
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posted:6/2/2012
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Maggie Mills Maggie Mills Owner http://itmfinancial.org
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