Learning Center
Plans & pricing Sign in
Sign Out



To Trust or not to Trust !

Word Count:

Trust is something we learn as very small babies. We trust the first
person that we bond with and it grows from there. Have you ever noticed
how cool kids are? They trust every little thing we say. They rarely
question us when we tell them something.


Article Body:
Trust is something we learn as very small babies. We trust the first
person that we bond with and it grows from there. Have you ever noticed
how cool kids are? They trust every little thing we say. They rarely
question us when we tell them something.

Believing our every word; and why not? They have not been exposed to
mistrust yet, not that they would recognize it at such an early age.

 Then they get older and come in contact with other children. This is
when relationships begin., seperate from the familiar family
relationships that they have grown to know as "normal". They begin to
compare lifestyles with their friends and for some, this is when the
first mistrust begins. They find out that it is not normal to be touched
by people in their private parts. They find out that it is not normal to
be beaten for doing something wrong. They find out that it is not normal
to not be fed for a day or even two. They find that it is not normal to
watch their dad hit their mom. They find lies, which gives birth to
MISTRUST. Their lives turn an entire chapter at that point. They grow up
somehow; suffering through the pain and loneliness of living with
mistrust. For some they rise above it and use it as a learning tool. For
others they become it; mistrusting everyone and everything. A small
number of those people seek help and spend many hours and a great deal of
energy trying to conquer it.

 Then we have our jobs, we trust immediately anyone that has been there
longer or that comes off as knowing more than us. We trust our bosses and
our co-workers.

 It is natural to trust as if we were babies all over again. With any new
venture we yearn to trust.

 When we first fall in love; What is that saying, "Love is Blind"? Ha!
Now that's funny, because it really is blind. We trust so instantly and
genuinely that we potentially set ourselves up for the biggest fall in
our lives. Why is that? Is it because we are so driven by nature to want
to trust someone? Or is trusting someone just a happier, easier, way of

 Once a trust is breached, it creates a scar that has it's own heart and
never goes away. We just learn to ignore its beat. We try to reorganize
our minds and put it on the farthest burner we have. Some of us can do
just that, while others cannot. For them life is not so easy. They find
themselves thinking, should I trust or not? It's like they have to find
proof and reason to trust, because their minds already mistrust. This is
similar to the term "Guilty until proven innocent". For anyone out there
that can relate to that, and I am sure there are many of you that do just
that, life is hell.

 If, lets say we love someone and they tell us one thing, and we keep
getting mixed signals that stir up our mistrust thoughts, where do we go
with that? Books tell us, that we are to trust the ones we love and
that's it. And then, if our trust gets breached, and only then, can we be
accurate with our mistrust. "Blah" I say! Oh and we're also told at the
same time to trust our gut feelings. OK, I admit confusion here. I know
this subject is really going to cut like a knife for some people and I
will apologize now, but we have to deal with the reality of our lives.
How else are we going to tackle our insecurities and get stronger. Our
goal is to have a somewhat happy life. One that we can talk about to our
grandchildren. We have to open our eyes and know what is going on in our
wolds. If your relationship has had a breach of trust or if you have
experienced mistrust earlier in your lives, then you already have a
reason to feel insecure. Now that you know that, you can start to build
up on that. Now you need to identify the exact core of it and toss it.
Its old news and its over.

 Start a whole new life as if being born again (for lack of a better
phrase). I hear you already saying, "Easier said than done". I totally
agree, but how many times have I said, "Anything worth having , does not
come easy"? The answer is MANY. Life is not easy. We have to earned all
our happiness. I have noticed, and I am guilty of this myself, that we
are waiting for our lives to be happy. I have been doing a lot of
thinking lately about happiness and if I have realized anything at all,
its that happiness is in you and your thinking and how you deal with
every little thing. To Trust or not to Trust is in our control. If we
choose not to trust, we open the door to all sorts of evil demons, such
as jealousy, low self-esteem, anxiety, envy, selfishness, self-torture,
worry, loneliness and just plain unhappiness. So when we feel that ,
"Trust or not trust" debate lurking in our minds, choose to not allow
your mind to go that direction. Tell yourself, that you are an
intelligent person and you know what is right and what is wrong right
now. It'is now that you are living, not then, or the past. We are very
good at deciding what we want to eat, right? Or where we want to vacation
and spend tons of our hard earned money. So then why is it so hard for us
to just change our train of thought? Let me tell you..HABITS!

  Bad habits, and for any of you that have read my HABITS blog, then you
know what I mean. So go back and read it again and again. I believe that
if one really wants to change something, it CAN be changed. "Let your
thoughts determine your goals and your goals determine your destiny"
(something like that). We are all destined to be happy. We just have to
focus on our goals.

 Feeling mistrust definitely has been caused by something in our lives.
We may never figure it out and some of us have already figured their
reasons out. But for whatever the reason, it is a negative emotion and
one we can surely do without. Work on it, then work on more trust and
more love. When we can trust, love comes naturally and that always
invites happiness. So there you have it! I have given you the steps; it
is your responsibility to you to climb them. Again I have shared my
thoughts with all of you. I would love to hear your thoughts, on anything
I have shared with you here.

I take responsibility for my life.
I have the power to make things better.
I always have a choice.

To top