Asian Matchmaking moves to the Digital Age
How online dating has changed the Asian approach to marriage, using an
Matchmaker, marriage, Asian Marriage Partner, Telugu, Kerala,
Matrimonial, Online Dating, Find Love, elders, extended family, engaged,
life partner, matchmakers, wedding, introductions, online,
It is clear there has been a shift away from the traditional form of
arranged marriage, involving a matchmaker and formal introductions where
the couple meet only after they have been chosen for each other. But
there is still a particular approach to marriage in Asian culture
worldwide. Marriage is important to young Asians: even in the UK they
and their family usually hope they will be married or at least engaged by
the age of 30, even though the rest of the population is marrying later
and later – or not at all.
While the new generation of Asians has adapted to the lifestyle of their
country, they also maintain Asian cultures and traditions, as shown by
the approach to their search for a life partner. The majority will still
want to settle with an Asian Marriage Partner if possible.
Although few marriages in the Asian community are arranged in the
traditional meaning of the word, the extended family remains involved in
the search for a life partner – even if they have to resist the urge to
take over as matchmaker! The difference now is that young people are
given the choice to find love, and meet and get to know each other before
making formal family introductions. At this stage the family will
consider the suitability of the match before any engagement or wedding is
We now have a second and third generation of Asians who have a balance of
cultural understanding that covers both East and West with equal ease.
Many communities, for example Telugu and Kerala, have migrated widely but
would still prefer a spouse from a similar background. They expect more
freedom in their marriage choice, while still respecting the wishes of
their elders and family traditions.
However, there is a growing contradiction to this tradition. There are a
growing number unmarried after the age of 30, showing how the change in
marriage trends has affected Asians. Most of these people are now in good
positions and stable employment looking for partners, yet often it is
difficult to meet a suitable partner.
There a clear reasons for this: young Asians are more likely to go to
university, graduate at 22, find a job and enjoy it. Time passes quickly
after the first few years of establishing a career and suddenly you are
30 and still single. Clearly someone who is used to this independence is
not about to ask the local Matchmaker to take over the search. Instead
they are taking the initiative to find a suitable match themselves, often
using the power of the Internet.
Through responsible online matrimonial agencies they find confidential
and respectable introductions to like-minded prospective partners of an
appropriate religious and ethnic background. Online dating and marriage
agencies are no longer the last resort – many attractive and articulate
couples meet this way, knowing that the fragmented offline social scene
would not otherwise bring them together.
The reputable online marriage and dating agencies offer full
confidentiality with the opportunity to select or reject potential
partners’ profiles and correspond by email to find out more about each
other. They can then choose whether to meet, and what form that meeting
An established agency (usually with a paid subscription) will normally
ask clients to state their intentions - marriage or dating – so the young
person can meet someone who is serious. This online matchmaker trend is
fuelling a fundamental change in Asian marriage traditions.