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Adoption

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Adoption Powered By Docstoc
					HELPING A BIRTHMOTHER COPE WITH
HER UNPLANNED PREGNANCY AND
ADOPTION PLAN

The birthmother experiencing an unplanned pregnancy has
made the difficult decision to place her baby for adoption with a
family that she has chosen. She may or may not have the
support of her parents and her siblings or even the birth father.
You want to help her but are not sure what to say and what not
to say. Here are some helpful ideas:

1.     Be sure to tell her that you are beside her 100% and that
     you are here for her whenever she needs someone to talk to.
     There nothing more difficult than making the decision to
     place your baby for adoption and then to have everyone
     judging you, criticizing you, and rejecting you.

2.    Let her know that she can be open and honest and you will
     not judge, criticize or give advice unless she asks for it.
     Sometimes she just needs a listening ear to bend.

3.     She is still a young woman having a baby. The baby is a
     part of her. It's o.k. to ask her questions like: How is she
     feeling? Does she feel the baby moving? How does that
     make her feel? You can be excited with her about the child
     growing within her. Take your lead from her.

4.      It's o.k. to talk about her baby's future...who will they look
     like? Will they have her temperament? Will they love what
     she loves?

5.     Talk about the relationship she is having with her adoptive
     family. How do they get along? What are they like? What
     makes you happy about them being the parents of your baby?
     This new family will forever be a part of her.

6.    Talk about her future. What will she do after the baby has
     been born? What are her goals and dreams? What is she
     doing to prepare for her future while she is preparing for her
     child's future? How can you help her get ready for that time?
     Internet search together or visit colleges together...go to the
     library and do some research.

7.    Hang out with her! She still loves shopping, movies and
     munching on yummy food!

8.     Think of ways to celebrate this baby who is being formed
     within her. Ask her if she would like a baby shower...to give
     gifts that can go home with the baby and that would provide
     connection and meaning for the baby later in life. Make
     something special together like a blanket that can be given
     to the baby and her family at the hospital.

9.    Offer to help her make a family photo album to give to the
     adoptive couple for the baby when he or she is older.

10. Encourage her to write letters for the baby that can be kept
  for them when they can read or want to know more about
  their biological family.

11. Be a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and laugh with. It's
  o.k. to still have fun and laugh together.

12. After the birth, be there for her. Sometimes no words are
  necessary. Sometimes the best thing to say in nothing. Just
  be there.

				
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posted:5/31/2012
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Daniel Egbune Daniel Egbune Managing Director http://
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