Some people feel devastated when they realise that they have been unfriended on Facebook. They take
it personally, feel that they have been cut out of the loop, build the experience up in their minds as a
major humiliation. But often there is a far simpler explanation.
Let's look at some of the reasons why you may have been unfriended on Facebook.
- Some people start out their Facebook experience by inviting everyone they know to become their
friends. It often starts out as a numbers game, wondering where to start, wanting to build a quick
database of friends, eager to appear popular, inviting everyone they know, accepting every friend
request they receive.
- Over time it becomes apparent that there is a limit to the amount of time and interest they want and
are able to spend keeping their account updated, reading other people's entries, responding to their
updates and messages. Some people have closed their Facebook account because it was taking up too
much of their time, becoming too much of a distraction from essential activities like work and study.
Losing these friendships on Facebook was not about you, but rather a need for them to prioritize their
- Privacy often becomes an important concern. There are some things that we are happy for everyone to
know, that we may even want to publicise and promote. But there are often parts of our life that are not
appropriate for everyone to read. Yes, we could privately message personal matters to our inner circle,
or have more than one Facebook account for the different areas of our life, but having to do that can
underscore the need to be selective about who we include on our Facebook.
- Incoming comments on our Facebook page can sometimes be a matter for concern, especially as all
our contacts can read what other people have posted there. I know of a few people who have closed
their Facebook accounts because of unwanted attention and comments. They became so hassled by the
whole experience that they decided to walk away from it for a time.
- Life moves on. There are people who may be good friends for the duration of a certain time in our life;
whilst we are at college, university, working in a particular job, involved in a certain hobby or interest. If
we move on from that we may retain special friendships but others will be left behind. At certain times
we spring clean our lives and move on. Unfriending some people on Facebook is often an essential part
of the process of moving on to the next stage of our life.
Facebook is an important part of social media, communications, and contact with people on many
different levels. Whether we use for personal friendships or for business relationships, deciding how we
use our account and who we have as our friends is an important part of rationalizing the way we use
that medium to improve and enhance our lives.