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									Hub Posts Monday 3/24/03
Tna Monday, 3/24/03, 11:40 PM

I now see what a difference a day can make.A gamble free day at that.Today again I have hope.Thanks to those who reached
out to me, and thanks to my HP for getting me through today.I know tomorrow will be just a wee bit easier.I am grateful I am
able to draw from the wisdom at the hub.All of you are angels.Your strength and courage are amazing!My tomorrow bring
peace and serenity to us all. AMEN!

Last Day Gambled: 10/23/03

Tuesday - Garbage Day Monday, 3/24/03, 10:38 PM

Hi ~~~~~~ Today is garbage day in my neighborhood. Tuesdays, garbage must be placed by the road at or before 7 am.
Trash may not be put out before 7 pm the night before. No more than 15 bags per household. Cans must be 30 gallon or less,
and bags must weigh less than 30 pounds. ~~~~~~ Now why didn't I think about having a regular schedule for taking out the
trash between my ears? I just let it pile up and fester until it becomes an intolerable problem. I guess I need to rethink my
pickup schedule. ~~~~~~ JH 2\7\02

From: John H - Flint Michigan
Last Day Gambled: 2-7-02

Sasha Monday, 3/24/03, 9:17 PM

Hello Hub Family: Wanted to send a BIG SHOUT OUT TO THOSE CELEBRATING A MILESTONES. "Peacock Dance" for you....
((HUGS)) to all those who have had challenges, I know so well those tough times..congratulations to those that over came
those nasty urges and congratulations for those getting back up and walking the walk again. "Peacock Dance" for all of you...
((HUGS)) to the new members!! WELCOME to the Hub family. Thank you all for sharing on the hub. I have been busy with
work, but I always come to take in my breath of fresh air.... reading all your posts. Wanted you all to know I am thinking of
you and I hope you all have a wonderful evening!!! Strength, Peace and Love to you all YSIR Melissa
Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03

Monday, 3/24/03, 9:12 PM

snugglin in..but wanted to stop in and thankyou for all your shares today(((SASHAS LIST)))..and for the Online meeting
tonite..((STEVE)))for chairing..was sooooo Good..(((ALL )))..yep..meetings Make it..thankyou...sleep well..k:) ysir, Love Joni B

Nightly HUGS and PRAYERS to the Hub Family, All CG'S, ALL Military Troops and Human Kind Monday, 3/24/03, 9:10 PM

(((((AletaE, Amber, Andy-sydney, Anita A,, Ann, Anna, AnnaC, Arnie W, Anthony from London, Audrey, Audrey J-Miranda,
Barb, Barbara-Rella, BeckyB, BevR, BONNIE, Brandy, Brenda , Brenda A, Brenda R, Brett, Cali, Cole, Colleen, Carole, CarolynK,
Charlie K, CharlieP, Chatcat,Christine T, Cindy D, Cindy H, CindyW, Collette, Curtis L, Dal B, Damaris, Dan,Dark_Lady, Dave,
Dboy,DC, Dean, Deb B, Deb D, Deb G, DEBBIE, Del, Delores, Denise, DennisP, DIANA N, Dina, Don C, DON D, DonnaC, Dr. Jim,
Dorothe, Doug L, Emily, Emjay,FEO, Fiddler,GAIL, GaryK, GeneK, Gordon D. Gramers, Howie C, Jake A,Janie J, Jaybird, JayL,
Jennifer, Jeannie, JERRY, Jim A, Jim K, Joeanne, John H, John M, JoniB,Josie, Jude, JUDY, Karen, Kat, Katielyn, Kathy K, Kathy
S, Ken, Ken F, Kinnon, Lanie, LdyQP, Lenett, Lily , Linda C, Liz, Lloyd, Lu S, Madge, Maggie,MAMAFV, Marc, Marie, Mark, Mark
M, Marty, Mary, Mary J, Marym downunder, MattW, Max H, , Melissa- sasha, Michelle, MIKEP, Miranda, MYRNA, Nance, Nancy
M, NICKY, Nita, Okiemaw, PAT B, Pat L, Patty, Paula, Pete, Pete T, Purdell, Rachel, Ramona, RandyM, Ray H, ReneeB, ReneeC,
Rich_DET, Richr, Robert, Robin H, Rose, Rose- Adrian, Sal, Sandy, SandyK, Scott, R, Skogie1999, Sharon G, SharonJ, Sheila L,
Sheryl, S Jane, Sorry, SUNSHINE, Suzanne, Sue, SusanP, Steve, Steven, SylviB, Tara, Tino (sidepocketkid), Tna- Tina, Todd,
Tom P, TomS, TOM W, Tracy, Valorie, Vel M, VickiB, Vida, Wayne, Williamk, Wilma, Ymg/Ymg, Zanna, OUR LOVED ONES, ALL
MILITARY TROOPS and Humankind))))) <176>

Last Day Gambled: ONE DAY AT A TIME<ONE MOMENT AT A TIME - Peace Out

Dal B. Monday, 3/24/03, 7:53 PM

Good eveing and a fine one at that! I got home after visiting the dentist..A full upper and lower set of dentures..(I never was
good at brusing) and it's be spendy..$1,700 roughly..Hmmm..Wish I could reverse a bit of time here!__________________I
got to work, boss hadn't arrived. Called Supervisor who told me, his kids were sick. So that explains that!...Then a little while
later, I got stuck on a thought and called him. He told me what to do, I thanked him and hung up.____________________
Now, here it gets interesting. I called him for help in doing my job, why don't I do the SAME when tempted? It's the same
thing! I AM ASKING FOR HELP!!!________Isin't his strange? I think it is. :) BUt then again, I know my boss would rather not
have me make a mistake..Hmm..Nooo..Still the same...I called him so I didn't screw something up?. Hmmm..No, still the same.
Maybe that I work with him day by day..Hmmm..That's a good reson, BUT IT"S NOT GOOD ENOUGH! So, I see now
further...Then I did earlier... (((((HUGS)))) Dal (Eyes clear) B.

From: Vancouver, WA
Last Day Gambled: 12/31/02

BrendaR Monday, 3/24/03, 7:25 PM

Hello everyone!! Welcome(((Debbie))) Congrats to all those who reached a milestone today!! It was beautiful here today.78. Of
course, Spring Break is over so it was back to work.Now if I could just get those NUMB creditors off my back, I'd be livin the
good life. What is the criteria for getting a collection job? NO HEART? Gees, they can be a pain in my behind. I know I did this
to myself, but I'm trying soooo hard to make it right. Oh well, just needed to vent a little.

From: Okla
Last Day Gambled: 2-21-03

Monday, 3/24/03, 5:39 PM

REMINDER..MONDAY NITE ONLINE MEETING...8:00pm Central..9:00pm Eastern..starting in 20 minutes..hope you can come
and share with us:) ysir, love Joni B

Nicky Monday, 3/24/03, 5:04 PM

May God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change ( challenging that in the midst of my disease and still after
I dwell in past actions and behaviors which I cannot change and have attempted to predict and create a future which I have
now turned over to my God)....Courage to change the things I can ( please my god take the fear from my being and leave with
your gracious peace and allow me to fulfill your will for me).... And the wisdom to know the difference ( my God thank you for
showing me wisdom during the times I have abstained from making a bet, it is a peace that I cherish and treasure and even
though I haven't put a whole lot of days together the moment is my focus now.) You have shown me I only have to not make a
bet at this moment...and not live in yesterday and worry frantically about tomorrow...Thank you. Congratualtions to all those
celebrating a milestone today and for your continued stregth and courage displayed through the posts on this board.

From: NV

Monday, 3/24/03, 4:49 PM

((((DEBBIE))) would love to share with you..come to the chattroom..if your still there..hugs..Joni B

Dave Of Beckenham Monday, 3/24/03, 4:48 PM

My name is Dave I am a compulsive Gambler and will be till the day I DIE! Recovery and healing means so much to me now. It
is not a game it is serious. I do not want to or need to hurt any one any more. I cannot live with myself doing that again.
Making progress is very serious business. It enables me to mature to grow up to have values in my life. In the old days found it
so easy to do the talk, when it came to putting it into actions I failed. I do not want to be that way again. Knowing what I need
to do but unable to do it. Cheating myself and my family. It was horrible being outsider looking in. On entering GA my needs
and wants were all mixed up. Did not know if I was coming or going. I was a very mixed up confused cookie. Yet thought I was
ok not so bad. Yes right. My progress my strength makes the difference to my life. How I feel about myself and people around
me. The person I cheat the most if I give in or give up is me. I no longer wnat to live with out faith hope or trust in my life. Life
is to precious today to waste. I can sit back and take it easy or do the work and let go of fear. Reap the rewards. Or be a
spectator and watch life pass me by? The programme is for me and all like me. It is to improve how I feel about myself. I use
to feel like shit. But could not admit to the fact. Now I have choices in my life. I can do any thing I like providing I do not have
that first bet. Sounds to easy? Yes that line use to make me laugh. Well I am grateful where I am and how I feel about myself.
But I do know tomorrow I can not take the easy option it is not healthy for me. Love to you all. Dave.

From: Uk For Now!
Last Day Gambled: 1992 August

Debbie K Monday, 3/24/03, 4:24 PM
Well, this is my first time on this site. I'm a compulsive gambler and am having a terrible time getting a grip on the situation.
I've been to counseling, but can't seem to find a counselor in this area that deals with the issue of compulsive gambling. We
don't have any GA meetings in my area. The nearest one I've been able to locate is about 150 miles from here. If anyone could
share some words of wisdom on how they make it through each day, please feel free to email me. Deb K.

From: Idaho
Last Day Gambled: 3/24/03

Monday, 3/24/03, 4:10 PM

I am a big Celine Dion fan, she is on Oprah right now, and I am aghast, the name of her new show is called "A NEW DAY"..and
its in Las vegas..does that mean I will be changing my Its A New Day every day..nope, but you gotta see the irony in it, I sure
do..have a great evening, Carole

Monday, 3/24/03, 3:53 PM

Hugs Everyone..stopping in the Chattroom. love to share some still around? ysir, Love Joni B

Genek Monday, 3/24/03, 3:47 PM

Hi all,Gene here a CG,slowly,one step and ODAAT trying to follow the GA recovery program. Hey,no one says it is easy,,but for
myself I know that without relying on my HP(GOD) as I have worked the Steps,I would still be succumbing to the Beast lurking
on the Internet casino web sites. Howie and all posting on the truly ,inescapable fact,that only another CG will ever understand
this addiction,thanks so much for your insight.I came to GA HUB last July -in reality I was led to this site,by my HP..So, what
do I have to show for these last 8 months. Not much that I am proud of-several slips,where I forgot I was not the boss
here..That I was trying to control, instead of ,acccepting the obvious.,myfailure to turn my will and my life over to my HP. It is
so true that our loved ones will never understand,. I know my 3 grown kids surely don"t.They keep saying,It is only will power
Mom!And then when they were here visiting both my son and daughter , said Hey ,Mom let,s teach your G randkids kids to play
poker.DUH--LOL Congratulations to all reaching a milestone today+,All of you are our inspiration ((((Sashas List)))) for all, will
be back for 9PM meeting,Love Genek
From: NJ
Last Day Gambled: 3-09-03

marym Monday, 3/24/03, 3:02 PM

JOHN H. THIS TOO SHALL PASS..........smiles. May peace be ours YSIR Down Under, Mary.

My Thought for the Day Monday, 3/24/03, 2:25 PM

" #%*@ it " ~~~~~~ I know I'll feel better later. - JH

From: John H - Flint, MI
Last Day Gambled: 2-7-02

marym Monday, 3/24/03, 2:06 PM


marym Monday, 3/24/03, 2:03 PM

Good gamble free day dear family, Mary here CG, but by the grace of God I am so much more than that
today**********************************I have been coming here for a little over a year now, and how much it has
helped my recovery I cannot begin to tell you. I believe this HUB and the people who come here have opened my heart, I have
learnt so much from my fellow travellers. So many "light bulb" moments. The ES&H and love that abounds here is beyone
anything I have known in my life. God certainly knew what I needed when he led me here. Many a time I have laughed and
cried as I read the posts. People sharing their inner most thoughts and I have been able to share mine. It is so good to have
somewhere to vent when I am feeling down, or to share my happiness, to be able to identify, knowing someone will have had
the same thoughts or feelings that I experience. God knew I needed more than a couple of meetings a week. I can come here
24/7 and know that someone will be available. Other compulsive gamblers who understand my feelings. No one can understand
this disease we have, like another compulsive gambler. That is why I keep coming back. I may not agree with everything that
is posted here, or you may not agree with what I have to say, but the fact is I have the freedom to be able to express myself
here like no where else. I am very grateful for the heart connections I have made here. When I graduated from rehab I
received a certificate. On this certificate there is a verse of the bible. It reads "I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you
saw my affliction and saw the anguish of my soul" Psalms 31:7. It is so relevant to me, God lead me here, I have no doubt
about that. Heartfelt THANKYOU to everyone who posts here, no matter if you have 1 day or 1000 days away from the beast,
YOU are all a part of my journey and I feel priviliged to be on this journey with you
all******************************CONGRATULATIONS!!! To all those celebrating a milestone today YAHOOOOOO clap
clap clap. YOU are soooo WORTH IT. 3 things I am grateful for. 1) My God who loves me unconditionally, 2) My family of origin
3) My HUB family, for as our dear friend Pete says, I am you, you are me. " I SOUGHT MY SOUL BUT COULD NOT SEE, I
Sending much love and great big bear (((((((HUGS))))))) to YOU, YSIR Down Under, Mary.

From: Sydney Australia
Last Day Gambled: 20th July 1999

Jennifer Monday, 3/24/03, 11:22 AM

I've shared this quote before, but I ran into it again today and found comfort. I hope you will too. "Gratitude unlocks the
fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to
clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings
peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." -- Melody Beattie

sylvi b Monday, 3/24/03, 10:45 AM

The Power of the Giftie Thoughts on steps 4 and 10 of Gamblers Anonymous: "Oh wad some power the giftie gie us.................
To see ourselves as others see us!.................. It wad frae monie a blunder free us, ............... .....An' foolish notion.
.................Robert Burns........................

From: mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02
Carole Monday, 3/24/03, 10:18 AM

ITS A NEW DAY!!! Carole here ... recovering compulsive gambler and big hugs to (((((RICH)))))I read it, loud and
clear(((((HOWIE)))))thanks for the post IMPOSSIBLE for anyone to will never know how important coming
here is to me one in my life GETS this compulsive gambling thing..yesterday we played our first round of golf with
our dearest friends...on the 19th hole..we were having fun, and then started planning our spring golf trip, then the conversation
got to "race tracks" and "casinos" get husband and friends...said what are you worried about, you banned
yourself for a year, and now that is you are ok..which meant CURED....I was very down when I woke up today,
thinking I am alone with this, then I read the posts, right on you guys, you helped me again, without knowing it...and Rich, you
are so right, when we post from our heart, it is bound to affect someone else in the group. IF I DIDNT HAVE THIS PLACE...well,
I am not going there, cause I do have all of you..and YOU UNDERSTAND..makes me want to scream and shout..with
glee...:) my family and friends to death, but they will never truly GET this, and that is fine, as long as I have an outlet
and you be it:):):congrats. to all reaching a milestone, (((Cindy 90 days)))(((Sue 30 days)) and to anyone reaching a
milestone, way to go...and keep it up AND I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO UNDERSTAND..and looking forward to the yaya
photos...GOD BLESS US ALL..Carpe Diem..and GOD BLESS all involved with the war, may it be over soon, Carole

Last Day Gambled: march 6/2002

Jennifer Monday, 3/24/03, 9:09 AM

Good morning, friends. I tried to stay away from the computer this weekend and focus on other things. I realized, while doing
this, that there are some big changes I need to make in my life (the things that usually send me running back to the casino).
The good news is these changes are actually things that can be done . . . it's just getting up the energy and guts to do them. I
think I'm there. No, I'm not sending my kids down the river in gunny sacks or my husband to his mother's house. Ha ha. Mainly
these changes have to do with me and work. I've been doing the same thing for 15 years and desperately need a change of
scenery. The first step will be transforming a room upstairs into my very own office/oasis, free of distractions (I hope). The
next step will be getting hubby to take over the finances, which are a constant source of stress and anxiety to me. I've been
handling the money for 17 years. It's his turn. :) I wish you all a happy, productive, and bet-free day!

From: Missouri
Last Day Gambled: 3/06/03
S Jane Monday, 3/24/03, 9:06 AM

Hi All.. Here to read the daily posts. Thank you all for sharing. Today I need to remind myself of the sickening feeling I had the
day of my last gamble.. I don't want to forget the humiliation, the fear and the loneliness I felt.. and especially having to face
my husband with the " I did it again" syndrome. I have a short memory when it comes to the ' call of the beast'. Fortunately I
have CALL DISPLAY.. so today I didn't answer. To another gamble free day. :) It's not easy, but who ever said life was gonna
be easy all the time.

Last Day Gambled: Feb 28, 03

Amber Monday, 3/24/03, 7:18 AM

Good Morning ((All)).....This past weekend was a learning experience for me. A real eye-opener and a wake-up call. The urges I
experienced, taught me that the disease lays in wait, ready to pounce without notice. I am just as vulnerable when things are
going well in my life as I am when life is a little more stressful. This experience forced me to look at step one again and remind
myself that I am powerless over gambling, even after almost 90 days. I am soooo grateful that I was able to use the tools I
have learned in recovery, because without them - I would have gambled again. The pull was so strong. The voice inside my
head kept telling me that one more time wouldn't hurt. It kept saying that once in awhile wasn't bad!....Ohh, but for me one
more time WOULD hurt, and for me there is NO such thing as ONCE IN AWHILE! I had tried gambling once in a while numerous
times in the past. That might have lasted a week or two and then I was right back at it everyday, feeling angry that I never
seemed to have enough money to support my addction. I used to think that I didn't earn enough money...HA...the truth is that
I earn more than enough to live on, now that I don't gamble. My thinking had become so warped and twisted because of
gambling and now everything is much clearer. I know that through recovery, things will continue to improve as I work towards
learning how to live normally again. One of the greatest challenges I face is learning how to spend money normally again. This
may sound funny, but I find it difficult to judge what I need to spend on and what I don't. I guess, because I lived 'broke' for so
long, I find it hard to just let money sit in my bank account and it bothers me that it is there. Maybe, I should make an
appointment with my bank manager, perhaps he can suggest some things that I can do with my disposable
income..........Congrats to all milestoners today!!........Have a peaceful day everyone......ysir Amber

Last Day Gambled: the last day of my old life
ANN Monday, 3/24/03, 7:11 AM


From: N.C
Last Day Gambled: 3-18-03

NancyM Monday, 3/24/03, 7:06 AM

Good Morning All, What a great YaYa weekend we had!! Wait til you see the pics. There was so much love and sharing and
caring. I am so grateful to have been able to meet f/f my sisters in recovery. Off to work...will post more later. Congrats to all
the milestoners. We are an awesome bunch. Love, nancy

From: Phoenix
Last Day Gambled: 2/22/03

Lanie Monday, 3/24/03, 6:24 AM

As I start a new week -- I will remember that if I have a problem and I go out there and gamble over it then I will have TWO
problems. I will ONE DAY AT A TIME make the commitment to remain bet free. God Bless

From: Las Vegas
Charlie P Monday, 3/24/03, 6:23 AM

Charlie P here an RCG. Howie, thanks for the over view about loved ones understanding our disease, or the disease of
compulsive gambling. Being addicted to a behavior for me is just so hard to understand, but, I know for sure, that I am
addicted. I am a sick person who just has to work the program. I still cant get over my relapse and how scary it was. INSTANT
INSANITY. I picked up just where I had left off...... Thank g_d for the influence of the program, I knew I needed to dust myself
off and get back into GA. I am truly grateful to my HP for bringing me back, and kicking my butt a little too..YBIr Charlie P

From: Live in Mississippi
Last Day Gambled: 2/23/03

Howie C. Monday, 3/24/03, 6:18 AM

Dear Hubsters, It didn't publish my last couple of sentences, so what I was ending with was: If this has helped anyone to
understand the seriousness of this disease, and how much it takes for recovery, I'm grateful. I know I need to use ALL of the
tools available, to help me in my recovery.-----Sincerely, your brother through recovery from compulsive gambling, Howie C.

From: Los Lunas, N.M.
Web Site: HCBWT
Last Day Gambled: 7/11/71

Howie C. Monday, 3/24/03, 6:04 AM

Dear Hubsters, Just wanted to comment on some of the posts, that mention, how hard it is to get a loved one to understand
your gambling addiction.-------------I wrote Rich R. a long letter yesterday, and it didn't go through, because the E-Mail address
he put on the bottom, was not exactly right. I think the _ was supposed to be in the middle -, like that. But, anyway, after I
lost it, I decided to forget it, because I had forgotten some of what I wrote. One of the things Rich, was how you brought back
memories to me about some of the conventions of the past, where skits were done. You mentioned the talent of the Detroit
members. Well, they are all over the country. Many of our G.A. and Gam-Anon members are very talented. Anyway, thanks for
the reminder.-------- About getting the families and friends to try and understand the disease; I truly believe that it is
IMPOSSIBLE. That's one of the reasons why G.A. is so effective. We, the compulsive gambler, are the ONLY ONES who really
understand. I hurt my mother more than any person in my life. She made me watch the Paul Coates show on Sept. the 1st,
1957, when Jim W. and his A.A. friend went on to talk about this new program that was starting to help compulsive gamblers.
She went to Ray M.'s house the following year, to try and get him to GET ME INTO G.A. (Of course he explained it was
impossible, unless I was willing.) She made me promise her numerous times, before bailing me out, that I would stop
gambling. Now here's my point. After I was in the program for 5 years, she asked me if I could just play a slot machine for
$2.00, and nothing else. I explained that any bet, no matter how small, would set me off again, and I didn't think that I would
ever recover again. She said, "I just don't understand why after all this time, you are not cured, or would still not be able to
control yourself." She went on to say that she was extremely happy that I was not gambling, and hoped that I would continue
in G.A., never gamble again, but she reiterated, that she just couldn't understand how $2.00 could hurt me. This was coming
from a person, who in my mind, if anyone was to understand this problem, she should have. That convinced me, that NO ONE,
was more understanding of the thinking process of the compulsive gambler, than anyone I ever met.) That's why it's so
important to go to G.A., and have the benefit of people with all lengths of abstinence share their experience, strength and hope
with each other. ----This Hub is a help and a good addition to G.A.. In my opionion, people who use more of the tools of
recovery (meaning G.A., Private therapy if needed, and the hub, and private groups or things like it, have a much better
chance for recovery.) This disease (in my opinion) is the toughest of all of them to conquer, because, we have a disease that
keeps telling us that we don't have a disease. We keep telling ourselves that we can control it, and the 3rd paragraph on page
two (which I say probably preach more than anything else) says: "Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real
problem gamblers. No one likes to think they are different from their fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our gambling
careers have been characterized by COUNTLESS VAIN ATTEMPTS to prove we could gamble like other people. The idea that
somehow, someday, we will control our gambling is the GREAT OBSESSION of every compulsive gambler. THE PERSISTENCE
long, but since I don't read the posts every day anymore, and don't post too often, I am not going to apoligize. I hope I got
through to somebody a

From: Los Lunas, N.M.
Web Site: HCBWT
Last Day Gambled: 7/11/71

Dal B. Monday, 3/24/03, 5:26 AM

Good morning. Good thing I had a plan as it's already being tested..Dogs got loose and I looked for them, but they aren't huge
and they are quick...So, back in my room, waiting..Sheesh! I get worried and scared about them, but I have to rely that they
will come home unhurt....Their luck cannot hold, but there's little I can do. Staying clean and sane..Somehow. (((((HUGS)))))
Dal (Belt of hand for spanking?) B.

From: Vancouver, Wa
Last Day Gambled: 12/31/02

Charlie K. Monday, 3/24/03, 5:21 AM

Hi brothers and sisters in recovery. I'm Charlie K., a compulsive gambler. I'm grateful for the fellowship I have found in GA and
here on this site, the love of my wife Ann and love and respect of my son, finding a higher power of my own understanding,
relatively good health, and that bit of inner peace and serenity that are truly gifts of this program. I guess I'll just keep
attending those dang ol' meetings, working with fellow cg's and sponsors, keeping the steps with me each and every day in
order that I can be the best person I can be, ONE DAY AT A TIME! Love and (((((HUGS))))), Charlie K. []

From: Ajijic, Mexico
Last Day Gambled: March 31, 1997

Charlie K. Monday, 3/24/03, 5:16 AM

Patty Monday, 3/24/03, 5:15 AM

Good Day All so glad T-day to be in this place in my someone said..the best thing about their gambling was meeting all
the lovely people of G.a.and Gam-A- Non...This weekend..we are having our yearly G.A. - Gamaonon Conference in
Wexford...Can't wait to meet all my friends and some new ones too...I have never come back from a Conference without
meeting new people....We are a small group here...and the love between just something special/// That lady that was in
trouble at the GA.-Gamanon outings...was so lucky to meet you guys...H.P. put you her way...for a reason...ha ha...and it looks
like you gave exactly what she needed to glad..cause i can see from your sharing that is bothered you both a lot...see
what the programme actually spreads love amongst us..wheither we know each other a day...a month or a year.....all
my love for T-day... Patty.....

From: Ireland

sue Monday, 3/24/03, 5:14 AM

Good morning hubsters - Today I am grateful for 30 days clean - or as I like to put it - the month that has changed my life. So
much to be grateful for today. Grateful that my Higher Power has allowed me for a second chance at life. The beginning of 2003
did not start well for me, - lost health insurance, had a car that broke down and was to "in debt" to have fixed, attempted a
suicide. And truthfully - I never thought that I would experience such peace within myself as I did this past weekend. And I owe
my life to GA - the people at the Hub, the people at my f2f meetings, my sponsor, - anyone that had something to do in helping
me find my way back. I know that I have my work cut out for me but I feel stronger every day and with the help of this
program , I am ready to work towards my next milestone of 60 days. To everyone here (((Sasha's List))) THANK YOU SO
MUCH!!!! To (((TNA))) ((Marie)) Hang in there! This is so worth it....ysir, sue

From: massachusetts
Last Day Gambled: 02/22/03

Joni B Monday, 3/24/03, 5:04 AM

GOD Morning precious friends..I am a cg...and by Gods Grace discovering much more then that today...Another Beautiful
Morning here..Spring has Sprung..My weekend was sooo nice. doing things I so Enjoy..enjoying the nice weather..visiting with
Friends..going places and sharing caring and meaningful time with...and today as I head out to work with only today in mind..I
just know that whatever I encounter..theirs nothing that that my HP (GOD) and I can't handle together:)this Program..has
given me soo many wonderful gifts..many tools to live life on lifes acceptance and appreciation of what is
connect and get to know myself in a true light and a desire to want to keep changing..and growing and a continual desire to be
all that God intends for me to be...that Im loved unconditionally, and .that its okay to make mistakes..because I am an
imperfect being. and its from those mistakes that I learn lessons and grow..that theirs a reason things happen.and.having Faith
that my HP((GOD))is in control of me peace that all will be well through his time..not mine.. that forgiveness
was a gift given a long time ago in those Ancient words..and that so gives me a peaceful state today..for I forgave me
too.leaving me in his Care and his will for me is such a comfy feeling be at Peace with who I am right now....I am
Grateful for this Second change to see all that is Beautiful in living..a day at a time..and each day when I come here to read
your are each in my Prayers that one moment in tooo will see just how precious you each
are..and embrace you and see the Beauty in you and in your life too..that you are sooo Worth whatever it..God just loves you
toooo pieces unconditionally:):):) Tis a Beautiful day..offfffffff to make my day.. ((((MILESTONERS))))(((SASHAS LIST))))).
make it a Goodie..k.. ysir, love Joni

From: Nebr
Last Day Gambled: 7/08/00 Grateful

Delores Monday, 3/24/03, 5:00 AM

Good Morning! CONGRATS TO ALL THOSE REACHING MILESTONES! I'm back to work today. I liked working from home much
better last week! :-) Another character defect, I need to accept I have to work <grin> I read a book yesterday on Tolerance.
It's an AA Golden Book, that I just really liked, and it centers on your HP, and what he would want, and it really helped. So here
at work, I KNOW I will be "trying" to apply some of it today. So simple to treat others the way I would want to be treated. My
HP loves everyone, even the lady in my group, that can drive me crazy :-) But so simple to just keep it all perspective. A GA
friend told me, just recognizing character defects are a big step. So progress not perfection....... And I'm recognized what I
need to work on, and that makes me feel good. 3 things to be grateful for....1) My family is all healthy and supportive, 2) I like
the work I do at my job, 3) And I have GA friends who genuinely care about me.... Have a wonderful day!! Recognizing all the
good things you do! YFIR Delores

From: Twin Cities, MN
Last Day Gambled: 3/12/03

Charlie P Monday, 3/24/03, 4:54 AM

Charlie P here an RCG, still staying clean one day at a time....Most urges have left and it feels good. Program taking me back to
a semblance of recovery. This is much better than the beast's choice for me.....I went to a speaker meeting on Saturday nite.
Hearing the persons story, along with how the elements of the program had helped him in his daily journey was so up lifting.
Many of his challenges are the same as mine.....Getting ready to attend a number of GA activities. Unity weekend campout,
mini conference in Waco Texas, and then the national in Toronto........Congrats to all the milestones and welcome newcomers.
Hope we all have another day gamble free. Bless us all. YBIR Charlie P

From: Live in Mississippi
Last Day Gambled: 2/23/03

Monday, 3/24/03, 4:35 AM

Date: Mon, 24 Mar 2003 Today's thought is: Out of every crisis comes the chance to be reborn..... -- Nena O'Neill It is not our
smooth passages that reveal new understandings, but the strenuous, uphill battles that benefit us with the knowledge we need
to grow. Looking on our challenges as gifts whose resolution promises greater comfort makes them agreeable, perhaps even
prized. Without them we stagnate, and life's joys are few. Life is a series of lessons. And our crises are our homework. The
patience and the trust we developed while living through last week's crisis has prepared us for greater benefits from those that
lie ahead. Knowing that a crisis guarantees us the growth we deserve makes its sting endurable. Every crisis is followed by a
time of easy stepping. These restful periods let us adjust to our new stage of development, and they invite us to store up our
strength, our energy for the tests that lie ahead. Every stage of an experience has it's roots in the past and leans toward the
future. I'll trust that whatever I encounter today, I'm prepared for and will benefit from. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Today's meditation comes from the book The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg copyright 1983,
1991 sharing..ysir, love Joni B.

Monday, 3/24/03, 4:31 AM

Reflection for the Day..All of us are faced with the troubles and problems of daily living, whether we've been in Gamblers
Anonymous two days or twenty years. We'd sometimes like to believe we could take care of all our problems right now, but it
rarely works that way. If we remember the slogan " A Day at a Time" when we are ready to panic, we may come to know that
the very best way to handle anything is to "turn it over." We put one foot in front of the other, doing the best we are capable of
doing. We say " A Day at a Time." and we do it--a day at a time. Are the Program's slogans growing with me as I grow with the
Program? Today I PRAY..May even the words " A Day at a Time: serve to slow me down in my headlong rush to accomplish too
much too fast. May just those words be enough to make me ease up on the accelerator that plunges me into new situations
without enough forethought, ease off on the number of hours spent in material pursuits. May I hark to the adage that Rome
wasn't built in a single day. Neither can I build solutions to my programs all at once.. Today I WILL Remember..A Day at a
Time. sharing ..A Day at a time..GA..The HUB

Monday, 3/24/03, 4:17 AM

The HUB would like to Congratulate All those reaching another Milestone!!Pat L. 11-24-71,Sally C 8-24-92..Dick B 3-24-99..4
Years!!Connie P. 5-24-01 Terry N 11-24-01..Denise R. 2-24-02..Tim T. 3-24- 02..1 Year!!!Bill D 4-24-02,,Paul R 6-24-02..Rob
R. 11-24-02..tommy SORRY 02-24-03..CLAP CLAP CLAP......ThankYOU for YOUR ES & HOPE!! CELEBRATE "TODAY"!!!!!

rich r Monday, 3/24/03, 4:11 AM

Good morning everyone, rich r, compulsive gambler here. I really enjoyed the online meeting last night. I can't even remember
the last time I was at an online meeting! I was tired, as usual, and had to bail out before it was over (my loss), but before I
went I got a chance to chat with a young man, named Matt (NOT the same young Matt from the Detroit area). We were
chatting back and forth about how hard it is for family members to understand what we go thru when we stop gambling. I know
my lovely wife still has trouble figuring out what is going on in my mind. If Denise develops a 'behavioral problem', she just
stops it immediately. Well, that has never been my nature. As long as I am still 'getting something out of it' I continue this
dysfunctional behavior in hope of finding a way around the nasty 'side effects'. It reminds me of 1999. I was having trouble
using the Internet compulsively (still do). I went to see a counselor at work. She suggested medication. I resisted. I hate to
take medication, even an asprin for a headache. Finally after several sessions I started taking prozac (not for depression, but to
relieve obsessive-compulsive stuff). After a while I had lost my sexual performance. I went back to the doctor and he gave me
a second pill to counteract the side effects of the first pill. Anyway, I finally took myself off both of them and never took any
meds again. Going back to my wife, if she used the Internet too much, she wouldn't take a pill. She would either cut down on
her usage or stop the Internet completely. And, she wouldn't join a 12-step group, hee hee. Anyway, didn't mean to go on so
much. Today's posting kind of falls under the category of 'post like no one will read it'. Hope you have a wonderful day. Please
say a little prayer for my new friend Matt, he is in his first week. ~~~ I'll be back :-)

From: detroit
E-mail: richr121500@yahoo,com
Last Day Gambled: 121500

Hub Posts Tuesday 3/25/03
AnnaMarie Tuesday, 3/25/03, 11:40 PM

Hi All, I have a gambling problem. I know that. My problem is that I cann't forgive myself for loosing so much money. Every
time I loose, I go back chasing after my money, praying, hoping, wanting to recover the lose. And every time I win, I go back
again thinking in my mind that I will win again. The sad part is that I have a loving husband and two wonderful children but
gambling is priority in my life. At one time I wasn't this bad. I was able to forget about it for months, then I do it again. I just
want to win a huge jackpot and pay off all my bills then still have some left over. I can't get over this issue. I want to be debt
free, and its funny that I don't really have that much debt. But gambling is putting me into debt every time. But I am glad that
I found this website. It's been helpful to me. I am going to try and avoid the casinos here like the plague if I can. I love my
husband very much but I am spending all of his paycheck weekly to satisfy my gambling high. It is terrible. I told him that I
need help but he said that he had faith in me that I can quit on my own. I have tried and fail miserably so many times. It hurts
to look at his disappointment whenever I have gambled and lost hundreds of dollars. Somebody please give me some strength.
--AnnaMarie in California--

From: Ca
Last Day Gambled: 3/25/03

Tna..I wanted to share this it came in an email just as I was struggling with my FAITH Tuesday, 3/25/03, 11:26 PM

We cannot fully understand the universe. The simple fact is that we cannot even define space or time. They are both boundless,
in spite of all we can do to limit them. We live in a box of space and time, which we have manufactured by our own minds and
on that depends all our so-called knowledge of the universe. The simple fact is that we can never know all things, nor are we
made to know them. Much of our lives must be taken on faith.

Tna Tuesday, 3/25/03, 11:18 PM

well I made it through the lst two days gamble free. Only by working steps one and two.When I honestly give all my will over to
my HP and make a honest attempt to recover, I seem to be in a much better frame of mind.More capable of dealing with my
disease.I still feel a lil bad for gambling again but I know in recovery there really isnt room for guilt or self pity. So I will move
on from yesterday and live for today...if I live good today I might find a way to look forward to a better tomorrow.I love all the
shares tonight.I feel I am back home.I love you all! Peace and good will to all.Tina B.

Last Day Gambled: 3/23/03

Daily and Nightly HUGS and PRAYERS to the Hub Family, All CG'S, ALL Military Troops and Human Kind Tuesday, 3/25/03, 9:12
(((((AletaE, Amber, Andy-sydney, Anita A,, Ann, Anna, AnnaC, Arnie W, Anthony from London, Audrey, Audrey J-Miranda,
Barb, Barbara-Rella, BeckyB, BevR, BONNIE, Brandy, Brenda , Brenda A, Brenda R, Brett, Cali, Cole, Colleen, Carole, CarolynK,
Charlie K, CharlieP, Chatcat,Christine T, Cindy D, Cindy H, CindyW, Collette, Curtis L, Dal B, Damaris, Dan,Dark_Lady, Dave,
Dboy,DC, Dean, Deb B, Deb D, Deb G, DEBBIE, Del, Delores, Denise, DennisP, DIANA N, Dina, Don C, DON D, DonnaC, Dr. Jim,
Dorothe, Doug L, Emily, Emjay,FEO, Fiddler,GAIL, GaryK, GeneK, Gordon D. Gramers, Howie C, Jake A,Janie J, Jaybird, JayL,
Jennifer, Jeannie, JERRY, Jim A, Jim K, Joeanne, John H, John M, JoniB,Josie, Jude, JUDY, Karen, Kat, Katielyn, Kathy K, Kathy
S, Ken, Ken F, Kinnon, Lanie, LdyQP, Lenett, Lily , Linda C, Liz, Lloyd, Lu S, Madge, Maggie,MAMAFV, Marc, Marie, Mark, Mark
M, Marty, Mary, Mary J, Marym downunder, MattW, Max H, , Melissa- sasha, Michelle, MIKEP, Miranda, MYRNA, Nance, Nancy
M, NICKY, Nita, Okiemaw, PAT B, Pat L, Patty, Paula, Pete, Pete T, Purdell, Rachel, Ramona, RandyM, Ray H, ReneeB, ReneeC,
Rich_DET, Richr, Robert, Robin H, Rose, Rose- Adrian, Sal, Sandy, SandyK, Scott, R, Skogie1999, Sharon G, SharonJ, Sheila L,
Sheryl, S Jane, Sorry, SUNSHINE, Suzanne, Sue, SusanP, Steve, Steven, SylviB, Tara, Tino (sidepocketkid), Tna- Tina, Todd,
Tom P, TomS, TOM W, Tracy, Valorie, Vel M, VickiB, Vida, Wayne, Williamk, Wilma, Ymg/Ymg, Zanna, OUR LOVED ONES, ALL
MILITARY TROOPS and Humankind))))) <176>


Okiemaw Tuesday, 3/25/03, 8:40 PM

Hi ((ALL)) Still grateful RCG Diana_G here. My HP did it again! My hubby was hurt on the job and I was so afraid he would need
surgery. We finally got into a doctor yesterday and he said that medication should take care of it and if not that surgery would
be the last option. He's got to take it easy for a week and see if meds work. So far so good !!! Prayers do get answered!! So
Grateful I learned through GA, to turn it over to my HP. He handles everything a lot better than I ever could... ((Brenda)) and
((Anna)) sounds like He is working for you gals, too. Sooo great!!...(((((Debbie_K))))) You have come to a great place for
learning how to live with this disease. You are not alone!!! I was so lost when I found the Hub. I don't have GA meeting here
either, But was told to get to any 12 step meeting as soon as possible. I started going to NA (Narcotics Anonymous) that night
and found the HUB. My addiction is gambling, but the 12 steps are basically the same for all addictions and support is available
wherever they are practiced. Setting up a "daily maintenance" program for myself has been the best thing I have ever done. I
am still a work in progress, a newcomer myself. "Progress not Perfection" here. Email me or anyone on this wonderful website if
you want to talk. We are you. We are compulsive gamblers trying to recover by sharing and supporting each other. Please,
come to the "newcomers" meeting in the Hub chat room Thurs. night. Welcome to the Hub....Big Congrats to all you
(((Milestoners))) 1 day to 99 years!!...((Sasha)) real life does need to be lived and you are wonderful!! Luv ya girl
!...((Delores)) Such a hard time for you. (((HUGS))) Hang in and have faith. K?....((Joni)) If it's meant to be it will
be...((EmJay)) just cause...My prayers go to all of you. And I'm so grateful for yours. We are an AWESOME group!! Prayers to
our brave troops, too. YFIR...Diana_G

From: Oklahoma
Last Day Gambled: 1/29/03 ODAAT

Lu S. Tuesday, 3/25/03, 8:31 PM

Evening Kids, Was just in the chat room and a lady was looking for some info on Wis. hotline,,,1-800- 426-2535 and the
National counsil on Problem Gambling is 1-800-522-4700. Both can be helpful in finding areas where meetings are held in your
area. Hope we didn't scare you off by offering so much info at one time. Maybe you'd feel better for right now finding one of the
gals who were in the room and simply chat with her one on one. In any case, sweetie, welcome. You have made a huge step in
realizing that there is something wrong and want help in figuring it out...GOOD FOR YOU. We're here if you need us or feel
comfortable enough to post, if not, just "lurk" and read the posts..there is something of great importance in each and every
message,,,maybe one or two will touch you personally and you could contact that person. The addresses are listed in most
cases. Just click on the address and you're there. We held our reg meeting tonight and all in all it went well. Had to remove
myself as a sponsor, which didn't feel too well, but for the best for both of us. Our group is such a delight as we all seem to
grow with each meeting. Hearts feel just a little lighter, laughter comes a little easier,sharing is open and so welcomed by
eachone. And how I worried years ago how things would go. Meetings are one meeting at a time too..somedays there is a full
house (for us that's 6), then somedays it's less. But we're all giving it all we have and reaching out. There are even a few who
have come here too. Is that step 12? LOL. Speaking of 12, I have finally found my booklet which leads us thru the steps in
detail and am going to get going on that tomorrow. I had it at the meetings instead of home where I really needed it...of
course, did I think to check our site,,DAhhhhh,,senior moment again, oops. Well kids, am going to put these tired old bones to
bed in hopes that I can get some much need sleep...waking every 2 hours doesn't make for a restfull night. Will say my prayers
for each of you, our dear troops, and all souls who need to come HOME. Am sending love and hugggggs all around..nite all. Lu

From: Iron Mountain, Mi
Last Day Gambled: 8-23-99

Audrey J. Tuesday, 3/25/03, 7:25 PM

I have read so many times where CG's who are trying to stop gambling and get their lives back, say how hard it is to keep
away from it. Always asking themselves why do I keep doing it over and over again, knowing it will never change. Only to make
themselves feel even more worse than they did before.. How low can we go?? That is what you have to ask yourself.. How low
do you want to go?? How many times do you want to continue revolving around the vicious circle? Heck! I was there myself,
not too long ago. But doing nothing to work at staying away from it only brings you right back to it. It doesn't just happen. We
can moan and groan, complain about the pain, cry and wish to die, and have fear till the last tear. We can't expect to feel
better, live better and longer, be happier or have more money.. if we don't work at staying away from gambling. Like I said, it
doesn't happen by itself. Talking about it and actually doing something about it, are two seperate acts with a hell of alot of time
and space in between. We have to take the time to fill that space. Each of us have to figure out for "ourselves" what will be
worth the time and what we must use to fill the void. If we change our behavior and work on redirecting our thoughts to more
healthier, positive, really satisfying activities, then we slowly work on stopping the gambling. When you really "get realistic"
with doing some "being honest with yourself" recovery you will see the results that you have hungered so much for. Once you
take some realistic actions at not gambling and turning that self destructive behavior into positive and fulfilling "self
improvements" behavior, recovering begins to take its course. Each day we keep moving in this direction, our lives will start to
flourish again. Our spirits begins to soar. Your heart starts pumping life back into your body and you can feel good about
"yourself" with the power and strength getting more intense by the day. Your mind can think more clearly, try it, I can promise
you that! One real important thing is, develope patience. That has to come in the beginning, once you decide to get "realistic"
with stopping the gambling. We have to stop feeling sorry and blaming ourselves. If you believe in a God, pray! Pray everyday,
for guidance, patiences, strength, will power.. it will come. Support groups, meetings, therapy, etc.. are all there for the
taking.. use it all, if you have too. But really use it like you are suppose too.. honestly and get realistic with yourself. You will
continue to revolve around that vicious circle and you will still be asking yourself why again? Unless you take your life seriously
are start the recovery.. or you could say.. remodeling.. think about it! I was sick of being sick! I continue to get well with my
daily medicine and taking responsibility for my own life. Im feeling more at peace with myself one day at a time. So can you!
We can do this.. we have the support we need.. we have each other. Most of all you have the strongest person on your side..
You! Love and Peace, YSIR, Audrey (45 days gamble free)

From: La.
Web Site: CGSG - Peace of Mind
Last Day Gambled: 2/8/03

Brenda R Tuesday, 3/25/03, 7:21 PM

Hello everyone!! Just got back from a GA meeting. It does my heart good.(smiles) In recovery, you are not supposed to hang
around with other gamblers. Well, there is no getting away from it for me. Most of the people I work with do it. My best freind
that I work with does it. I used to do it with them. My best freind has been supportive about my decision to stop, but today she
went to the casino and had to tell me all about it! WOW ! Just for a little bit, I was kinda over taken by a demon that dwells
down deep inside of me. Then I said "NO WAY" am I going to screw this up. SO, today I did not gamble! That was a big one for
me. I wanted to say "just cut me open and pour salt in the wound." My HP had to work overtime today.ha! A big CONGRATS to
all the milestones today. (((Sasha's))) list.

From: Okla
Last Day Gambled: 2-21-03

S Jane Tuesday, 3/25/03, 7:02 PM

I wish I could be like normal people who gamble once and not think about it for along time to come. I feel ashamed that I let
gambling control my life for so long.. that I will never be able to be a social gambler ever again. Those days are long gone.
Now, to fill my life and replace that old destructive habit with new positive things are a challenge in itself. This is a new
beginning for me and I share this journey with so many wonderful people.

Last Day Gambled: Feb 28, 03

Delores Tuesday, 3/25/03, 3:31 PM

Good Afternoon. Thank you all for your prayers today. I think they really worked! I saw the counselor at work...I really like him.
Any ways he thinks I could use one on one counseling and is setting me up with a counselor that is involved with the 12 steps I am going to give that a try. I came home....still unable though to sort it all out, and was terrible wound up. So I
called a fellow GA friend who extended his hand...and listened, and we walked through it all and by the time we were done, I
felt so much better!!! I was able to get everything in it's proper place. I hope his ear isn't sore from all the talking!! Thanks
(((JAYBIRD)))! Most of this is a problem of course with people, places, and things. And sorting out things I can do something
about and things I can't. I'm not an awful person, but I am imperfect, and a work in progress, and willing to work hard, and do
whatever it takes to feel better. I'm just so grateful I never wanted to gamble or drink today. Thanks to all of you and my
HP..... The wonderful posts and emails, really kept me holding on, they really meant a lot! Have a good evening. The World Ice
Skating Championships are this week, and the scores for the Men's Short Program come up in real time on the Internet, and
I'm going to try to stay up long enough to see them! Grateful for all of you! YFIR Delores
From: Twin Cities, MN
Last Day Gambled: 3/12/03

Genek Tuesday, 3/25/03, 3:23 PM

Hi all.Just dropping by to saay Congratulations to all reachinh a milestone today-WAY to Go! !!!Delores,I have you and your
family in my prayers tonight. Just know that your HP is there with you, and anytime you would like to talk, I am here for you.
Soo glad to receive the pictures of our"Portland group of Bunnies:)Thanks Linda V GF.A Sasha group((( Hug))) to all. See you
on Jaybirds "Recovery Cruise" to who knows whereLOL.genek

From: NJ
Last Day Gambled: 3-09-03

Kathy S. Tuesday, 3/25/03, 3:13 PM

Good Afternoon All, Kathy S. here a Very Grateful Recovering Compulsive Gambler !..........Congratulations to all Milestones
Today and to everyone making it today without having to place a bet !...........Glad all you Ya Ya's had a Great week-end, can't
wait to see the pictures either.........Going to my f2f tonight to help a friend celebrate 3 yrs of abstinence......How awesome it is
to watch someone grow from being a person who would hardly even speak if she was spoken to, to actually sharing her utmost
honesty about how she needs to live in "Reality Today".....Whew !........Leanne W. has been coming to our meeting since she
moved here to Slidell a couple of years ago, and watching her grow has been a blessing in itself...... My being able to share and
learn from her has really helped me in my own recovery...........The progress in this program never ceases to amaze me..........
I Thank God for bringing me here when he did, for I am ALMOST sure I would be "DEAD" by now if he hadn't......If not
"Physically Dead" I Know for sure I would be "Emotionally Dead", for I was just about there when I got here..........."God Bless
Our Troops Who Are Giving Of Themselves, For Our Freedom"........with Peace and Love in Recovery, Kathy S.

From: Slidell,La. (just outside of New Orleans)
Last Day Gambled: Oct. 15, 1996
Tuesday, 3/25/03, 3:08 PM

marym Tuesday, 3/25/03, 3:04 PM

Good gamble free day dear family, Mary here CG, but by the grace of God I am so much more than that
today*****************************(((ANNA))) Really related to your post this morning. I am a bit late today because I
had an interview with the assistant manager at work. She spoke to me about my work not being up to scratch, I was very
defensive and mouthed off about other people not doing there work. Oh how hard it is for me to take criticism, I realised half
way through the interview that I was going the wrong road and pulled myself back. I listened to what she said and told her I
was doing the best I could. The irony of it is that I have been making a concerted effort of late to be a lot more diligent in my
work, I realised I was not being honest with the effort I was putting in, and have been determined over the last couple of
months to do better. So, all the way home I went over the conversation and owned what I thought I should and let go of the
rest. I was obsessing about "getting another job", which would not be too easy at my age. I know how hard it is for them to
find someone to work the hours I work, so, if I did get another job I would just give them the minimum notice and take great
delight in leaving them in the lurch. Crazy thinking Mary. How easy it is to slip back into my old ways. Having the freedom
today to think things through and not act impulsively is wonderful. Another lesson learnt, don"t ya just love this awesome
programme.*********************CONGRATULATIONS!!! To all those celebrating a milestone today, YAHOOOOOO clap clap
clap. (((PATTY))) Congrats on your groups 1st birthday. Even though it is a small group it sure seems to be working for you.
Love reading your posts. You are indeed a loving, forgiving person, as I have said so many times before, it is good for me to
see the damage we CG's cause from the person on the receiving end, and know that there is help for you. Big hugs
(((((DELORES))))) my prayers are with you and your family, for your daughters and your mother-in-law. Even when they are
grown up when our children hurt, we hurt, we never stop worrying about them. Still no phone call from my daughter, I tried to
ring her again, no answer, left message on machine. I had a nice phone call with my brother Andrew on Sunday, who I have
shared about on many an occassion. He has not picked up a drink since his little visit to rehab. He is still gambling, a little, he
tells me. He is doing AA meetings, but has not found a sponsor and not working the steps, I just keep praying for him.
Welcome (((DEBBIE))) As I am in Australia I cannot give you much direction, but know that I offer the hand of friendship to
you as another compulsive gambler.......smiles. May peace be ours, hope evryone has a good nights sleep and YOU make the
choice to join me tomorrow(which it is already here LOL) for another 24 hours, gamble free. Love and (((((HUGS))))) YSIR
Down Under Mary. P>S> (((JONI))) I have not been able to get into the chat room for a couple of weeks, it won"t let me sign
in, I have meant to ask Glenn to have a look at it for me, but keep forgetting, will do today, as I miss the meetings. THOUGHT

From: Sydney Australia
Last Day Gambled: 20th July 1999

Genek Tuesday, 3/25/03, 3:01 PM

From: New Jersey

Carole Tuesday, 3/25/03, 2:59 PM

((((ANNA))) smiling here, yep, give it up and let it go..and something much greater comes your way, for you..these unexpected
calls, HP's are never too busy to bless us..everyone, have a blessed evening..Carole:):):)

Anna Tuesday, 3/25/03, 2:53 PM

OK just got another long distance call from another good friend....hummmmm strange day today thank you again HP.

Last Day Gambled: 12/2/02

Anna Tuesday, 3/25/03, 2:07 PM

Just wanted to share this. Right after my words with my boss, I received a long distance call from a very good friend I haven't
spoken with a long time (used to work w/her), then after I hung up with her I got another longdistance call at work from
another friend with a job offer, then just now I got another call from a very good friend also longdistance. All 3 have no idea
about my cg problem just out of the blue called. hum HP at work? thanks for letting me share.

Last Day Gambled: 12/2/02

Marie Tuesday, 3/25/03, 1:55 PM

Happy Afternoon All, Just stopping by for my daily dose. Having a wacky day at work, so decided it was time to take a litle
break and check in with my HUB Family. ((((Delores)))) Hang in there during these tough times. I will be saying prayers for you
and yours this evening. Looking forward to attending my group tonight. Didn't go last week and the urges were just out of
control. I just really need to stay focused on my recovery and put the needed work into it. Well, the boss just spotted me.
Better get back to work. Congrats to all the milestone today. ((((TO ALL)))) Just love this place!!! Marie

From: Rhode Island
Last Day Gambled: 02/08/03

Anna Tuesday, 3/25/03, 1:51 PM

Thank you so much. I was minutes away from changing that ldg date and decided to logon here instead. My counselor told me
absolutely not to log on at work as it could put things in jeopardy, but so could gambling and alot more so I think I made the
right decision. You all have given me the strength to not change that date and I thank you. Yes, it is so true that we can only
understand each other and truly share our stories and actualy go through similar stories about ourselves in our minds as we
read the posts. (Sue)So happy for you congratulations g/f really really really love to read your posts and sharing (Carole)I too
love Celine and have seen the complex they built for her in Las Vegas. Did they mention on the Oprah special her husband has
a gambling problem? Once again carrying the worlds problems on my shoulders I worry about them and his problem living in
Las Vegas because on the show I watched she said he will have "his fun money" and when it is gone he will not have any
more....I too would love to see her show, maybe a safe way to see it would be to plan a GA outing. We would hold each other
accountable as we walk through the casino huh? (Dal)So funny, I have always wanted dentures so I wouldn't have to worry
about my teeth and last night I had a dream all my teeth fell out. Wow it was a very scary dream woke up and had to check
things out in the mirror...yep they are still there:) OK what made me want to gamble... my boss was very critical of a project I
have spent many hours on. In fact she is very controlling and doesn't allow me much autonomy or decision making ability. So
as she was in my cubicle criticizing me in front of others who are always looking for something bad in people, I told my boss to
"Stop talking to me and to walk away now" (something I often tell my 4 year old when she is being naughty...walk away.)
When I told my boss this she continued to put me down so I told her she could write me up if she wanted but I needed a walk
and left her standing in my cube. When I came back she wanted to talk and all I could do was cry and say nope not now...I
don't have anything to say. So now I have no motivation to work at all knowing it will be way to get away
was to go across the street and gamble hah....then I read gambling will bring 2 problems...and more and more at this hub.
Thank you for being here. (Delores)hang in there, keep coming and reading and sharing we can bring each other strength to
get through life and our compulsions together.

Last Day Gambled: 12/2/02
Amber Tuesday, 3/25/03, 1:31 PM

Hugs (((ALL))........I just got home from work...I have to work a split shift today, so I'll be going back to work in a few
hours...UGH! I'm thinking I need a holiday soon! All is fine with me. Not great, but not bad either....smiles.....all part of life.
There are good days and bad days and everything in between. I guess for me, this is an in-between kind of day. ((LU))...I can
totally relate to the comment of: "Did you hear what happened to..." I've had to face that with people that used to be my
friends when I gambled. I look at it now though, and realize that they were never really my friends. They don't realize that they
are in the exact same place as me, except I have chosen recovery over gambling. I hope one day they will too, but that is for
them to decide and not for me to judge.....Congratulations to all choosing recovery today! One day at a time!......ysir Amber

Last Day Gambled: the last day of my old life

Lu S. Tuesday, 3/25/03, 12:25 PM

Afternoon Precious Hubbers & Hubbettes, All quiet on the northern front, hubby has stopped hammering and taken a break to
where else, Micky D's, gotta get that afternoon fix of coffee. I'll be the happiest woman in the world when all this construction
noise is finished,,,there, done whinning..LOL. Just Lu stopping in a little late today, but wanted to see how all my dear brothers
and sisters are managing and admitt to my addiction to gambling. It has been a very busy week or as one of my sponsee's is
just having one hell of a time, plan and simple. have spent alot of time on the phone in conversation.This person always seems
to call AFTER the slip..frustration for both of us. We have our weekly meeting tonight so hopefully something positive will come
to at least one of us at the table in order to help this person. It is my thought, tho, that all has been done as humanly possibly,
and now is time for this person to DO the leg work. Sure could use some wisdom from others who are sponsors!! Otherwise,
myself is keeping clean and away from things that trigger urges. This time of year used to be a bad one. Spring is in the air,
friends wanting to GO,etc. You know the picture. Well, the GIRLS are still on the go, but my phone seldom rings from them
anymore."Poor Lu, did you hear what happened to her?" Sure did, she got healthy, has a life worth living and isn't in the habit
of looking back, unless it's to help me. I feel so free now that I have owned my own. To all of us, let us continue to keep
coming home here with all our good stuff, bad stuff, and stuff in between. Each post lends healing for at least one of us...God
Bless all the newbies, the milestoners, and the old timers as well...TOGETHER we can and will make a difference. Sending love
and hugges all around..Lu God bless our troops and their families and friends.

From: Mi
Last Day Gambled: 8-23-99

Joanne Tuesday, 3/25/03, 12:21 PM

I was reading a post about not being so hard on yourself. I am always putting myself down.... If only I would not have....
Instead of accepting myself where I am at and continue striving to be the best person I can be. That would make more sense. I
am also tired of making excuses when I do not want to do something. I have a situation where a family member is trying to
make me feel guilty because I choose not to attend a function. I finally just said no I am not going. I do not have to do
anything I wish not to do.

From: CA
Last Day Gambled: 7/30/02

Sue Tuesday, 3/25/03, 10:40 AM

Hi...just checking in - getting so much accomplished today - Made dr.'s appt.s for the kids, sat down and figured out a budget,
did laundry, cleaned my stove, (I am totally amazed at myself - but I am NOT complaining). It feels good to be free from the
gambling and all it's terrible side effects. (((Delores)) Hang on tight - you can make it through this day! Sue

From: massachusetts
Last Day Gambled: 02/22/03

Delores Tuesday, 3/25/03, 10:12 AM

The day just gets worse and worse......My other daughter just called, she's here in town, she left her husband and is at my
house with the baby. My husband's mother isn't getting worse so he's going to the UK for 9 days. I just was talked to in a
conference room by my boss about all the sick time that I use. The first time I've had a problem here in the 4 years I've been
here. And, he knows about GA & AA and some of the others. So they thought last week I was out gambling and boozing it up.
There's a counselor at my job, that is in GA & AA (my boss came prepared with his name).... that he said I should meet, "if I
want". I thought maybe that's a good idea, so I have an appointment at 1:30pm Central. I am a little STRESSED today..... I
feel shaky, and like I could try. It doesn't help that I've been up since 2am either. Delores
From: Twin Cities
Last Day Gambled: 3/12/03

Audrey Tuesday, 3/25/03, 9:29 AM

Good Morning Everyone...Returned home last night from the great ya ya retreat...Im very grateful for this beautiful experience
of meeting more of our sisters f/f...A HUGE thanks to Val for putting it all together..A God Thing:)
((((((((Val,LindaP,VickiB,NancyM,Aleta,Sharon,Patti)) ))))))Thanks for the gift of YOU,the precious memories,the
love,laughter,tears,hugs,the caring,the sharing of your ES&H...Now Im off to get the pics developed cuz I just cant wait to see
them:)..We are an awesmome bunch hey Nancy:)..In the words of Rich,I'll be back..Love,hugs and prayers...ysir Audrey

Collette Tuesday, 3/25/03, 8:38 AM

Hey all....Hope everyone is having a good day. Haven't posted for awhile. Been pretty busy with my little one, ear infections
and all that good stuff. My husband who is in the Army had to go to Kentucky for some training for two months so my daughter
and I are bachelorettes for awhile. Feeling pretty good lately..spring cleaning at my house and in my mind. Hope to get to an
online meeting this week. Take care.

From: South Dakota
Last Day Gambled: 03/08/03

Carole Tuesday, 3/25/03, 8:22 AM

ITS A NEW DAY!! Carole here recovering compulsive gambler, but gotta tell ya..these days are a bit grey..and now reading
about Delores and your daughter, cannot imagine what its like to experience what she and your family and so many other
families are going through, prayers and more all of you:::))))(((Patty))) super post, and wow a whole year since
your first group met, so happy for that..and you my dear are always here each day..and I so appreciate that:)and SO many
others:):):):)((Dal)) good for are sounding real good..and so one recovers in ONE day, or I would add one
lifetime:).. ((John))) the garbage thing, I try to get the garbage out of my head each night, after the mental inventory and if I
don't..well, the next day really sucks..:)CONGRATULATIONS to all reaching a day, one week, one year,the
peacock strut or the quail one, depending on how you are feeling:) I so appreciate the post about GA or AA accepting everyone
with his or her OWN spirituality, cause that is the core of us, and the last thing anyone needs on top of the gambling
devastation is to be told what to believe..LOVE this part of the program, so fair, so wonderful...praying for the
troops and families and for anyone having a struggle of any sort is difficult..Scott Peck, A Road Less Travelled..seize
the day, Carole..or at least a few moments:)

From: british columbia, canada
Last Day Gambled: march 6/2002

sylvi b Tuesday, 3/25/03, 6:32 AM

Dear Delores, Words are inadequate in the face of somethings. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family at this
challenging time. May you continue to draw upon the strength of the program and your HP. This too shall pass.

From: mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02

sue Tuesday, 3/25/03, 5:08 AM

Well, today is the next step of my journey - a journey towards my next goal of 60 days without a bet. I know that from my
previous attempt at staying clean, this was a very difficult month for me to get through. The first 30 days are new - I had lots
of enthusiasm. But now, I need to work my recovery, pray, and just stay in the moment so as not to place a bet. I have a lot of
work to do but with the the help of my higher power, I believe I can do this. ((Debbie)) Welcome to the Hub! ((Delores)) hang
in there! Search hard for the strength to make it through the hard times. ((Sasha's List)) Thank you all for being here for me. I
hope to make an online meeting again soon. I miss chatting with you guys! Rich R. - thank you so much for the words of
wisdom that I can relate to in my recovery....I hope that you all have a gamble free Tuesday - yfir, sue

From: massachusetts
Last Day Gambled: 02/22/03
Dal B. Tuesday, 3/25/03, 5:04 AM

Good Morning, Worry about the war? No. worry about bills? No. Worry about work? No. Worry about progress? A bit. But, not
going to knock myself for not moving ahead as it's ok as long as I don't go in reverse! The fence is mended, I feel better and I
am also going to get my btt out there and start my "Rejuvination" of the backyard...It won't be fast, jsut a hour or so at a time.
But that's what works for me.____________________I cannot wait for the good things to come, but keep telling myself,
"Patience, no one ever recovered in a day"_________(((((HUGS))))) Dal (Pacing myself) B.

From: Vancouver, WA
Last Day Gambled: 12/31/02

Joni B. Tuesday, 3/25/03, 4:42 AM

God Morning precious friends..a cg....Grateful for this NEW DAY..((((Carole))))..((Debbie)) this Grand place of
sharing, loving and caring.. (((((Sashas List))))..we do it odaat..and happens..those Promises of Recovery
come:)..((((Delores)))))thinking of my Prayers..Praying for you and all strength and courage to take on the Day..with
your HP(GOD)of your understanding..comforting:) To our precious sons, fathers, men at war..we are soo embracing you..and
praying Gods Speed in bringing Peace. off to make my Day...with my HP(GOD)near me too.. ysir, Love Joni B

From: Nebr
Last Day Gambled: 7/08/00 Grateful

rich r Tuesday, 3/25/03, 4:28 AM

Good morning all, rich r, compulsive gambler, happy I quit while I was 'ahead' (ahead of where I would have been if I hadn't
quit). I want to welcome Deb from Idaho. My brother has a place in Post Falls which is up in northern Idaho, near Couer
D'Alene. Anyway, one thing I want to suggest to any newcomer is to call the national hotline for compulsive gambling (1-800-
522-4700). This is not GA, but it staffed 24/7 and I have found it very helpful, especially in the wee hours of the morning when
I wouldn't dare call another member. Another possiblity to connect with someone who understands would be the chatroom here
at CGhub. There just might be someone there if you check at a time other than a scheduled meeting times. The other thing
that I learned 12 years ago is I do NOT have to stop gambling for the rest of my life, just for today. Just until I go to bed
tonight. I can do anything for a short period of time, especially if I have the help of my higher power and support of people like
you. Thanks for letting me share. ~~~ I'll be back :- )

From: detroit
E-mail: richr121500@yahoo,com
Last Day Gambled: 121500

Tuesday, 3/25/03, 4:20 AM

Date: Tue, 25 Mar 2003 Today's thought is: Courage is fear that has said its prayers. -- Karle Wilson Baker No one of us is
always courageous. With trepidation we embark on many journeys. Fear is dispelled each time we rely on our inner strength
and trust that our lives are in good hands. Self-talk is powerful and will prepare us to meet whatever lies ahead today. Self-talk
is like prayer and quiets our fears, making it possible to give our full attention to the events transpiring. Self-talk, when
positive, cultivates a healthy self-image, one that offers security, even in the face of disaster. We all carry on a dialogue with
ourselves much of the time. Taking charge of the messages - making sure they enhance our personal well being - is an option
always available to us. No situation is more than we can handle. Whatever courage or strength is needed is as close as our
willingness to go within, to commune with ourselves. I must own my fears before I can let them go. Courage follows closely on
their departing footsteps. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Today's meditation comes from the book The Promise of a New
Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg copyright 1983, 1991 sharing..ysir, love Joni B

Tuesday, 3/25/03, 4:10 AM

Reflection for the Day..If a compulsive gambler wants to live successfully in society, he or she must replace the power of
gambling over his/her life with the power of something else--preferably positive, at least neutral, but not negative. That is why
we say to the agnostic newcomer; If you can't believe in God, find a positive power that is as great as the power of your
addiction, and give it the power and dependence you gave to your addiction. In Gamblers Anonymous, the agnostic is left free
to find his or her Higher Power, and can use the principles of the Program and the therapy of the meetings to aid in rebuilding
his/her life. Today I Pray..May the Power of the Gamblers Anonymous Program work its miracles equally for those who believe
in a personal God or in a Universal spirit or in the strength of the group itself, or for those who define their HP in their own
terms, religious or not. If newcomers are disturbed by the religiosity of the Program, may I welcome them on their own
spiritual terms. May I recognize that we are all spiritual beings. Today I WILL Remember..In each his own spirituality. Sharing
..A Day at a Time..GA..HE HUB
sylvi b Tuesday, 3/25/03, 4:05 AM

God's Plan Wise Words "God never fails the children of earth. Do not seek for things to work according to your desires; or for
your circumstances to be arranged according to your earthly will. But have faith that God is leading you on the path to ultimate
happiness." --White Eagle from page 83 of: The Quiet Mind Copyright (c) 1972, 1998 by The White Eagle Publishing Trust
Today's Affirmation I know that God has a plan for my life. Today's Meditation Dear God, Whatever circumstances I find myself
in, I know that Your will is for my greatest good. I surrender to Your infinite, indwelling wisdom. Every challenge of life has a
perfect solution. I choose to stand firm in faith and wait upon You. May Your will be done always for me and through me. With
calm assurance, I let it be. Amen. --Ric Beattie

From: mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02

Tuesday, 3/25/03, 3:56 AM

The HUB would like to Congratulate All those reaching another Milestone!!Sandy L. 1-25-96.. Annette H 6-25-99..lacy p. 6-25-
01..Marcia R. 7-25-01 Kathy P. 1-25-02..60 DAYS!!Karen H. 2-25-02// Steve J. 3-25-02..1 YEAR!!!Richard G. 3-25-
02..1YEAR!!Brad A 5-25-02..Debbie H. 8-25-02 Tjah W 10-25-02..Gordon D 10-25-02..Karen 12-25-02 CLAP CLAP

Patty Tuesday, 3/25/03, 3:48 AM

Hi All... Welcome Debbie....when i found this web site..there was no meeting near me ...and i used to come on here each
morning and read the shares...its great almost like a f2f meeting....i helps to know this is a that affects the
gambler...and also those around him/her.....T-day i can fully accept this...and know i have been affected by gambling and will
continue to have all the feelings of low self esteem/low self worth....from time to time..but in coming to the meetings and
reading that others feel that way too...i am not alone...anymore....lots and lots of people understand me on this
board...Anyway..last year two others girls asked me to start a meeting in our town once again...and yes we are one year old
now..that meeting...and its wonderfull... We are a small meeting but we meet once a week to share our Experence ,Strength ,
and Hope.... Have a great Day all.. Patty......
From: Ireland

Delores Tuesday, 3/25/03, 3:37 AM

My husband just came home. His mother has slowed down and the Doctor told him and his sister to go home. My husband is
suppose to leave on a business trip today for 9 days to the UK. He says he's going at 1:30 this afternoon if he doesn't hear
anything..... I don't know what to say about that. So I'm going to work in a few minutes...... I've been up since a little after
2am, it's going to be a long day. YFIR Delores

From: Twin Cities, MN
Last Day Gambled: 3/12/03

Dave Of Beckenham Tuesday, 3/25/03, 1:05 AM

My name is Dave I am a compulsive Gambler and will be till the day I DIE! Just today I will. Mighty pewerful? Do not need to
worry about tomorrow, deal with one thing at a time. I never knew it was so easy to get into good habits. And when you do
good you are entitled to feel good? If you choose to. Today I do not need approval. But I do need to listen and learn. I use to
put every thing off. Cleaning teeth hygiene dentist hair cuts opticians etc. I did not look after myself. Fear use to rule my life. I
had almost no control in my life. I Use to want to sit on the pitty pot all day. Now I grasp the opportunity to change. To become
myself. Pause what do I Need what do I want? Have order in my life. I get the mickey taken out of me now and again and it is
healthy. Brian says maturity and Dave do not go together. They are opposites. Ok I deserve some ribbing. 35 years an ass hole
it takes time to change? Right? Now I am an ass hole part time. I am on telephone duty now and more often enjoy it. You get
the people who want to play mind games but do not let it get to me now. It is their problem not mine. In years gone I have
seen some big changes in people. Not in the way they dress but the glint in their eye, the smile on thier face. Today I am a part
of it all. Being glad to learn and listen. To become myself with out all the negative self destructive crap in my head. How can I
justify hurting myself today? I do not want to give away feeling good about myself. It is nothing to do with money at all. It is
what you carry in your heart. Love to you all. Dave.

From: Uk For Now!
Last Day Gambled: 1992 August
Delores Tuesday, 3/25/03, 1:01 AM

Well, it's about 3:00 in the morning here. My husband just left the house. He's on his way to the Nursing Home, his mother is
95 years old and it looks like she may be passing away tonight. She has been with us mentally though for some time. His father
passed away, 5 years ago when he was 94 years old. They lived long good, healthy lives. I always think of my father who died
from his second bout of Cancer, almost 7 years ago, at the age of 67, he was sooo young. I'm fretting about missing work..... I
missed so much work last week, with being sick..... I get worried about what they will think about me. My daughter in Texas
ended up at the hospital yesterday, she's breaking down all the time taking care of two little ones, and worrying about her
husband over in the war. They are going to put her on Anti-Depressants. She just can't stop crying. I wish I could be with her,
but I don't have the vacation time. It's times like this where I wish I didn't have to work. Well, I'm going to stay up now. I'm
wide awake, it's sure quiet in GA Land. Love to you (((SASHA'S LIST))). YFIR Delores

From: Twin Cities, MN
Last Day Gambled: 3/12/03

Hub Posts Wednesday 3/26/03
Howie C. Wednesday, 3/26/03, 11:33 PM

Charlie K. -- If you're still on your cruise, you might want to go to the "Friends of Bill W. meeting." ----If you're not aware, they
have them on most, if not all, cruises. It's for all addictions, and I believe they usually start around 4:00 p.m., sometimes at
5:00 P.M.------------------------------ Robert, I don't see you too often, but you're attitude is great. Keep it up buddy, this too
shall pass.----------------------------------------------- And Sylvia, it looks like you are setting a great example, by saying that
you should be keeping your posts on your therapy and recovery. For me, people who are posting about "other things", don't
help me with my gambling problem, which is why I come to this,(to be helped with my gambling problem) and the reason I
think all of you came here in the first place.-------------Sincerely, YBIR--Howie C.

From: Los Lunas, N.M.
Web Site: HCBWT
Last Day Gambled: 7/11/71

sasha Wednesday, 3/26/03, 10:02 PM

Hello Wonderful HUB Family: ((Wayne)) Good for you for not going. Keep that going buddy. Well today I went to the f2f
meeting....I wasnt going to go...but I will make you laugh. I called one of the ladies that had her one year pinning just to say
hi. Left her a voicemail and she called back. We chatted and she asked if I was going to the meeting tonight...I said, no, I
would not be going...then her voice went low and she said 'oh, okay'...haha I felt so bad I told her I would be there. The
meeting had about 15 people there. Many people were new to me...but we did have a great time. And they GOT ME.....I
completely forgot about my 60 days because I kind of go with the one day at a time....WELL, the person who leads the
meetings announced my 60 and gave me my key chain....wowow...that was nice and I kept laughing thinking about it. The
meeting went well, although I was sad one person stopped coming...she was new and I called her last week but never heard
from her....but we have to keep positive. After the meeting, the person in charge said that he would love it if I would be
secretary within the next 30 days...was I surprised? first feeling was....I dont come regularly and two he doesnt really
know me....but he said that enthusiasm is important and he and the group liked my positive open spirit. WOW, I never thought
people would look at me this way...I FEEL SO HUMBLED...and of course the illness keeps tugging at me saying 'heck you dont
DESERVE are kidding yourself". Well, I will sleep on it.....For me, if I were to accept this, I know what the
committment will be...thus I have to be honest with my time and my respect for the group. I may or may not do this right now,
but that does not mean I will never do it. I am just amazed at the outpouring of kindness....truly geniune...but I joked with the
guy and said....yeah, you getting tired? hehehe OH, there will be a pot luck on April 19...I will be going....I am feeling better
and better at f2f meetings...I just needed to ease into...and who do I have to thank that for? ALL OF YOU WONDERFUL,
LOVING HUB FAMILY. Now, as I am careful in my committments, I will be going make from time to time to the f2f....perhaps I
will end up going next week, the following may just become a great habit....we shall see. Just wanted to share
with my family here about my experience tonight. I also talk about my HUB Family all the time....hehehehe Strength, peace
and love to each and everyone of you wonderful people. Melissa

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03

SylviaB Wednesday, 3/26/03, 9:58 PM

Dear Fellow CGs Welcome, Linda P. CONGRATULATIONS, I am so sorry I missed saying that by midnight. Sasha thnaks for
mentioning me. It's good to know when Ive been of help. I,ll let richr tell you about the pinning for Doug It was very nice and
he was visibly pleased. Also, we had 3 newcomers. Actually, I just fell asleep at the computer with my fingers resting on the
keys. so I'd better sign off...... Lack of sleep and bad dreams waking and sleeping don't help mucheither...but I digress, good
night Mrs. Calabas orMr calabash, wherever you are. zzzzzzzzzzzat lastzzz

From: Michigan
Last Day Gambled: January 11, 2002

wayne Wednesday, 3/26/03, 9:21 PM

hi it was good day because i didnot gamble.i also told the person that ask me to go that leave me alone.he said he would.hi my
name is wayne and if anybody is willing to be my sponer because i need one just email me and let me know thank you.

From: iron mountain
Web Site:
Last Day Gambled: 3-25-03

Amber Wednesday, 3/26/03, 8:23 PM

Hugs ((All))!!.....I just got home from work and I must say.....WOW!!!!!....what incredible loving, supportive posts from
everyone to everyone!....smiles....It sounds like we have all been bitten by the 'love bug'! Have a wonderful evening
everyone....ysir Amber

Last Day Gambled: the last day of my old life

Cheryl Wednesday, 3/26/03, 8:02 PM

Hi Marie.....Thank you and everyone else today that has offered me words of encouragement. ((Amber)) ((Carole)) ((Dal
B))...If I'm forgetting anyone..sorry...thank you all....I feel better....this is the best place to "download" thank you all very
much for he "ear" ......Gratefully Cheryl

Last Day Gambled: 3/24/03
Cheryl Wednesday, 3/26/03, 7:53 PM

Hi everyone! Wow.. I was really feeling an urge to go do the nasty....But I decided to come here and talk about it... It's
difficult....the urges...I mean...what a nasty thing this is we have to deal with....but I think I'LL BE OK...Thank God for this
site...I made up my mind this morning,,,, I'm not going to gamble today... so far I hav'nt. And I did'nt. YAYYY for me. I's only
been a couple of days for me......but it is tough..I'm gonna hang in there...Please say a prayer for me!!!!.....Cheryl

Last Day Gambled: 3/24/03

Marie Wednesday, 3/26/03, 6:59 PM

Good Evening Everyone, Marie here a compulsive gambler choosing to stay sane today. ~~~~ ((((ANNAMARIE)))) You've
found a wonderful group of caring souls here who are so willing to help you. Keep coming back. Everyone is here for you. Come
sit in on one of the on-line meetings. ~~~~ ((((CHERYL)))) I so know what you're feeling. Been there. We use gambling as an
escape, but then find it so hard to escape from! But, I can tell you the happiness sure does come back once you stop. So many
things that I had enjoyed, I'm starting to do again, and it feels so great to be getting control of my life back. You'll see, because
it will happen to you too. As far as your urges one thing that I've found a great help is the literature found on the HUBS home
page entitled: How I Keep From Gambling. I printed it out and keep a copy with me wherever I go. Check it out, I think you
might find it helpful. ~~~~((((MATT W)))) Way to go! I'll be saying a prayer for you on Friday! ~~~~ (((((CAROLE))))),
(((((SUE))))) and (((((AMBER))))) just cuz ~~~~ ((((RELLA)))) 31 Days, you deserve to brag. You go girl! ((((EMJAY)))) 60
Days, How Great! and ((((LINDAP)))) 3 Years, WOW!! What an inspiration!~~~~~ Thanks all for being such a source of
strength! I finally hit the jackpot when I found this HUB!! Everyone have a wonderful gamble free evening! (((((TO ALL))))),

From: Rhode Island
Last Day Gambled: 02/08/03

Sharon G Wednesday, 3/26/03, 6:00 PM

Evening, all. Another compulsive gambler here, trying to stay connected. Meeting Hubsters face-to- face felt like a REAL family
reunion. Sure took the bite out of moving, too. Good folks, good food, wonderful sharing, celebrating with LindaP, having the
honorary man around, laughing really hard, Val hanging out with my kid at the pool so I could sit and chat a while...and I
wasn't even around most of the time! It was sweet and it was wonderful and I can't wait to do it again. Take good care.

From: Portland OR
Last Day Gambled: 3/14/03

Tom S Wednesday, 3/26/03, 4:02 PM

Dear Hubsters- Finally back off the road and would offer belated congratulations to all who have had milestones the past 2
weeks. Sheila, Paula, Linda P and I'm sure many others. Congratulations to all. I spent much of the past 2 weeks in Baltimore.
My mother had open heart surgery there on 3/12. My sisters' computer was down with a nasty virus so have been disconnected
from the HUB. I did get to a noon meeting in downtown Baltimore last Tuesday and enjoyed that very much. A nice mix of old
timers and those just starting the fight. A new experience for this midwestern kid- I took a subway from Johns Hopkins to the
meeting and back. Ahh life in the "big city." I went to another site later that week, but it was no longer meeting. Sad, but just
the effort to find it helped me. In my recovery there are rare opportunities to concretely measure the change that has taken
place. This trip to be with my mother brought back memories of another time 15 years ago. At that time the beast had a very
good foothold in my life. I'd been leading a double life for about 2 years and the lies were getting harder and harder to sustain.
My father was diagnosed with stomach cancer and was in a hospital in Billings, Montana for major surgery. The loving, dutiful
son that was my outside image moved heaven and earth (actually manipulated everything and everybody in sight) to be there.
The very sick compulsive gambler inside of me reveled at the opportunities this presented. What better excuse for being
distant, evasive or angry. "Leave me alone!! My dad has cancer!!!" All the time planning and scheming how this could be turned
to my advantage. 2 weeks in a strange city, no controls, no accountabilty. A city with dozens of bars with card rooms. To my
way of thinking- Hog Heaven!! So I went and would spent the required time with my dad as he went through tests and then
surgery. Only to leave at the first opportunity each night and run for a card room. Play hold-em until they closed at 4:00 am
get a few hours sleep and rejoin other family members at the hospital. Present in body only. My mind consumed with last
nights play and the anticipation of the night to come. Not a pleasent memory and one that has taken alot of step work to put to
rest. Compare that to my experience with my mother. Able to make business arrangements that allowed me to be gone.
Financially able to take the time off. Present in mind and body prior to and after the surgery. Focused on my mother and her
fight for her life rather than on me. Able to have hours of intimate conversation with my siblings and my mother as she fought
to recover. Able to connect with hospital chaplins when my mother twice went into cardiac arrest. Even though these chaplins
and I had different definitions of a Higher Power we were able to connect on a very powerful spiritual level. The grace and
serenity to be able to turn my mothers fate over to the God of her understanding. What a gift to be present even in the hard
times. To have serenity when life is not serene. That to me is recovery and I'm very grateful to the 12 step program of GA for
bringing about this change. When a de-jevu event in my life lets me see and feel the change I am awe struck. In love and
fellowship. Tom S.

From: Minneapolis, MN
Last Day Gambled: 5/3/92

sasha Wednesday, 3/26/03, 3:55 PM

((TNA)) tight hugs for you...keep it going!!!!!!!!!! I read your posts and think about you all the time!!! love ysir s

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/02

Sasha Wednesday, 3/26/03, 3:54 PM

(((LINDA P)))) I noticed I did not have you on the HUGS is on there now. WOWOWOWOWOW 3 years!! yahoo
CONGRATULATIONS to all the ((MILESTONERS)) heheh I laugh at the part..sonters...hehe because we are all by far stoners!! :-
) ((Rella)) those 31 days are pure happiness!! wtg Welcome to all the new comers. So happy to see you here. ((Cheryl and
Anna Marie)) you can do may be challenging at times, but there is hope and many programs..this HUB, GA, etc...we
walk in your shoes every moment and know what you are going through!!((ANNA)) thanks for your post and the names, I have
added them to the list. ((HUGS)) For those having a challenging time.....we are all here for you and know so well what you are
going through. ((ANN)) looking forward to hearing from you...((Amber)) just many great things are happening for
so many in recovery... ((MATT)) way to go buddy....keep it going and let us know what happens, no matter what, your
recovery is healing you day by day..((Robert)) that is right, the love you and your daughter share can never be deminished or
taken away....((Lloyd)) one day at a time and things are pulling together for your conference....wtg and I know you will have a
blast!!! ((GORDON)) hang in there buddy...Gosh, I know how hard it can be....I have had those days....urges come and
go...and when I think of all of you here, it stops me in my tracks....because I know I am not alone in all have been so
much a part of my recovery and I love you all!! ((Marym, JimA, Richr, Jaybird, Tna, Patty, Dal B, JoniB, Nancy, CharlieK,
GeneK, Carole, Val, VickiB, SylviB, Dave, Lu S, WAYNE, Okiemaw, and anyone I missed (hopefully I havent:-/)) Thank you for
the posts today.....Much has been happening around here. Do not know if I will be with my company after the end of the
month, but it seems like I may be here...I will need to contact my VP because so much is happening, even though I am not
booking of my clients will become a beta client and we will be taking on two monthly contracts from them...this
means so much..1. this partnership will help us truly launch our new offering and 2. we will be billing 100k's...SO I think they
should keep me on...oh well, we shall see....even so, I have five potential companies lined up with references and people in
these we shall see what happens. Actually, this is a very exciting time for me right now. ((KATHY S and
GENEK)) I will be heading to Philly on April 1st. Sooo, maybe we can hook up..I will have a rental car....Kathy, I have your no.
and will give you a call. The only way I would cancel the trip is....I have to do something at work or my flight gets canceled.
Okay, Talk with you all later...Strength, peace and love to you all. S

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03

Tna Wednesday, 3/26/03, 3:32 PM

Hi all.Anyone know how to change the last day gambled. I forgot! Today I didnt gamble.I cant say I wont want to again.But
today I havent wanted to.Thanks to all for your support.Tina

Last Day Gambled: 03/23/03

Barb Wednesday, 3/26/03, 3:01 PM

Hi all, Barb here still a CG working on recovery ODAAT. Just stopped by to wish all who have reached milestones today
Congradulations!!!!!!!!!!! I'm off to choir practice for the Spring Conference next week, this might be the last practice so we
have to get it right. Sang at a 1 year pinning on Monday, oh how I love those pinnings. Seeing families put back together, thats
what this program is all about. Joni, I read the Awakening at the pinning and it is going to be printed in our GA newsletter. The
definition of EGO (E-dging G-od O-ut) was in our March news letter. Read it on the web here hope it's OK that I shared it. Life
today is life. Waterproofer fixed four cracks will be back tomorrow to finish, praying that this will solve the problem and I can
get the floor re-carpeted soon. Thank God for this program and recovery. I am learning not to run when things don't go just
right. Living Life on life's terms. What a blessing and relieve. Gotta run. Have a gramble free rest of the day. YSIR Barb

From: Orland Pk IL
Last Day Gambled: 12/16/02

Daily and Nightly HUGS and PRAYERS to the Hub Family, All CG'S, ALL Military Troops and Human Kind Wednesday, 3/26/03,
2:35 PM
(((((AletaE, Amber, Andy-sydney, Anita A,, Ann, Anna, AnnaC, ANNA MARIE, Arnie W, Anthony from London, Audrey, Audrey J-
Miranda, Barb, Barbara- Rella, BeckyB, BevR, BONNIE, Brandy, Brenda , Brenda A, Brenda R, Brett, Cali, CHERYL, Cole,
Colleen, Carole, CarolynK, Charlie K, CharlieP, Chatcat,Christine T, Cindy D, Cindy H, CindyW, Collette, Curtis L, Dal B,
Damaris, Dan,Dark_Lady, Dave, Dboy,DC, Dean, Deb B, Deb D, Deb G, DEBBIE, Del, Delores, Denise, DennisP, DIANA N, Dina,
Don C, DON D, DonnaC, Dr. Jim, Dorothe, Doug L, Emily, Emjay,FEO, Fiddler,GAIL, GaryK, GeneK, Gordon D. Gramers, Howie
C, Jake A,Janie J, Jaybird, JayL, Jennifer, Jeannie, JERRY, Jim A, Jim K, Joeanne, John H, John M, JoniB,Josie, Jude, JUDY,
Karen, Kat, Katielyn, Kathy K, Kathy S, Ken, Ken F, Kinnon, Lanie, LdyQP, Lenett, Lily , Linda C, Liz, Lloyd, Lu S, Madge,
Maggie,MAMAFV, Marc, Marie, Mark, Mark M, Marty, Mary, Mary J, Marym downunder, MattW, Max H, , Melissa- sasha, Michelle,
MIKEP, Miranda, MYRNA, Nance, Nancy M, NICKY, Nita, Okiemaw, PAT B, Pat L, Patty, Paula, Pete, Pete T, Purdell, Rachel,
Ramona, RandyM, Ray H, ReneeB, ReneeC, Rich_DET, Richr, Robert, Robin H, Rose, Rose- Adrian, Sal, Sandy, SandyK, Scott,
R, Skogie1999, Sharon G, SharonJ, Sheila L, Sheryl, S Jane, Sorry, SUNSHINE, Suzanne, Sue, SusanP, Steve, Steven, SylviB,
Tara, Tino (sidepocketkid), Tna- Tina, Todd, Tom P, TomS, TOM W, Tracy, Valorie, Vel M, VickiB, Vida, Wayne, Williamk, Wilma,
Ymg/Ymg, Zanna, OUR LOVED ONES, ALL MILITARY TROOPS and Humankind))))) <178>

Last Day Gambled: ONE DAY AT A TIME>ONE MOMENT AT A TIME - Peace Out

marym Wednesday, 3/26/03, 2:33 PM

Good gamble free day dear family, Mary here CG, but by the grace of God I am so much more than that
today****************************What a lovely surprise to see my California Angel (((LINDA P))) posting.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!! 3 years, I would do one of (((JONI'S))) cartwheels, but my old bones are very tired LOL. Just know that
I love you dear lady and have you in my heart, miss your wisdom.**************************** What wonderful posts
this morning. It makes me so glad to be alive when I come here and read the ES&H and friendship that is on offer. The reading
in One Day At A Time this morning was just so relative to my journey yesterday. I cannot afford to harbour resentments,
grievances, annoyances et.etc... That was yesterday, today is a NEW DAY (((CAROLE))), I owned what I believed I should, and
got on with my day. These are the changes that must occur for me if I am to stay on my recovery journey. I could stay on my
pity pot and not deal with life on life"s terms or I can build a bridge and get over it. The choice is mine and I have so many
choices today. Living life on lifes's terms for me was going from crisis to crisis, today when a problem occurs I use the tools
that this programme gives me. I have learnt so much, and when I use that knowledge a mole hill remains a mole hill. I can look
to God for guidance, deal with any given situation, in the day. and not let it consume me. If I know that I have done the best I
can do, that is all that is asked of me.************CONGRATULATIONS!!! To all reaching another milestone today.
YAHOOOOOOOO clap clap clap. (((RELLA))) 31 days, well done dear sister. Welcome (((ANNA MARIE))) Tie that knot and hang
on tight. We all understand where you are coming from, we have all been there.....smiles. Welcome back (((CHERYL))) the
journey is not always smooth, but you have "Stepped Up" again and as long as you never quit quitting, it will work for you.
Good luck (((MATT W))) on your call back for job. (((VICKI B))) (((VAL))) Great posts, so good to have you back, all shining
from your YA YA sister retreat. Vicki, if you can arrange a HUB retreat, let me know plenty of time in advance, I would just love
to receive some real life HUB hugs. How did (((JAYBIRD))) look in his fishnet stockings????LOL. Looking forward to seeing some
photos. Sending much love and great big bear (((((((HUGS))))))) from YSIR Down Under, Mary. May peace be ours.

From: Sydney Australia
Last Day Gambled: 20th July 1999

Anna Wednesday, 3/26/03, 1:56 PM

I'm sorry this is to Sasha's list ((( (((((AletaE, Amber, Andy-sydney, Anita A,, Ann, Anna, AnnaC, Arnie W, Anthony from
London, Audrey, Audrey J-Miranda, Barb, Barbara-Rella, BeckyB, BevR, BONNIE, Brandy, Brenda , Brenda A, Brenda R, Brett,
Cali, Cole, Colleen, Carole, CarolynK, Charlie K, CharlieP, Chatcat,Christine T, Cindy D, Cindy H, CindyW, Collette, Curtis L, Dal
B, Damaris, Dan,Dark_Lady, Dave, Dboy,DC, Dean, Deb B, Deb D, Deb G, DEBBIE, Del, Delores, Denise, DennisP, DIANA N,
Dina, Don C, DON D, DonnaC, Dr. Jim, Dorothe, Doug L, Emily, Emjay,FEO, Fiddler,GAIL, GaryK, GeneK, Gordon D. Gramers,
Howie C, Jake A,Janie J, Jaybird, JayL, Jennifer, Jeannie, JERRY, Jim A, Jim K, Joeanne, John H, John M, JoniB,Josie, Jude,
JUDY, Karen, Kat, Katielyn, Kathy K, Kathy S, Ken, Ken F, Kinnon, Lanie, LdyQP, Lenett, Lily , Linda C, Liz, Lloyd, Lu S, Madge,
Maggie,MAMAFV, Marc, Marie, Mark, Mark M, Marty, Mary, Mary J, Marym downunder, MattW, Max H, , Melissa- sasha, Michelle,
MIKEP, Miranda, MYRNA, Nance, Nancy M, NICKY, Nita, Okiemaw, PAT B, Pat L, Patty, Paula, Pete, Pete T, Purdell, Rachel,
Ramona, RandyM, Ray H, ReneeB, ReneeC, Rich_DET, Richr, Robert, Robin H, Rose, Rose- Adrian, Sal, Sandy, SandyK, Scott,
R, Skogie1999, Sharon G, SharonJ, Sheila L, Sheryl, S Jane, Sorry, SUNSHINE, Suzanne, Sue, SusanP, Steve, Steven, SylviB,
Tara, Tino (sidepocketkid), Tna- Tina, Todd, Tom P, TomS, TOM W, Tracy, Valorie, Vel M, VickiB, Vida, Wayne, Williamk, Wilma,
Ymg/Ymg, Zanna, OUR LOVED ONES, ALL MILITARY TROOPS and Humankind))))) and those not yet on the list Anna Marie and

Anna Wednesday, 3/26/03, 1:51 PM

Hello all and congratulations Linda P 3 years!!! I am at home today, after my bad day at work yesterday and being so close to
wanting to gamble, I promised myself a recovery day, little did I realize my bronchitus would kick in and a muscle spasm in my
neck ...I'm doing ok and really working on what happened yesterday so I don't go back there. Our electricity was out for a
couple of hours too. Made me think about the war and how scary it is to have the wind blowing loudly or bombs going off and
no power or electricity. I am very grateful that I am not in Iraq going through what the civilians and troops are going through
right now and I pray for their safety. Joni...I sent you you an e-mail I hope you got it. OK my memory is gone but to the
gentlemen who was called back in for the interview today I hope and pray it is everything you hope for. Jaybird I still don't
know why we can't get each others mail, I will try again today ok? OK now is it Rella with 31 days? that is so wonderful. Funny
I just read what I wrote back on 12/2/02 wishing and praying for 1 week, 1 I pray for as Val explained so well the
desire to continue my recovery process and not become complacent with recovery. Just a weekend I took off from the HUB and
I felt so lost and vulnerable. It is so important to me to work this program odaat and everyday. I am so grateful for this HUB
and each and everyone of you that share here. Sasha I've been thinking about you is everything ok? Amber & Sue -- just
because..Ramona......I think of you too g/f hope you are still reading. work can be very expensive I hope you have
some insurance that is helping a bit. My dad just had his done and the military va covered most of it. Funny, I think of how
hard my dad tried to get me to be a helicopter pilot in the military now I see sooo many helicopters that have gone
down...really makes me think about things. Carole I just love your notes and posts I really seem to connect with what you
share. Charlie K the panama canal....a dream trip for me..I would love to see pictures if that is possible. Well all my neck is
about ready to colapse...all (hugs, prayers, and extreme gratitude for each of you sharing your journey.)

Last Day Gambled: 12/2/02

NancYaYa Wednesday, 3/26/03, 1:42 PM

Hello Hubsters, I am still basking in the glow from the retreat. LindaP!!!!!!! YipppeeeeYaYa g/f, congrats to you. Vicky so glad
you got home ok. I got lost at the airport, too. But I was picking myself up. You see, I parked my car there and even wrote
down the section. I'll be da**** someone must have moved my car because it took me 30 min to find it. Yep, I was a little nuts
by then. One the way to report my "stolen" car..I saw it on the other side of where I had been looking! Guess it was like using
the wrong key, right girls??? Kinda like Recovery...if you keep using the wrong doesnt open...but the RIGHT key...well it
just swings right open. Congrats to all the milestoners and Sashas list and also all the troops and especially my niece who is
over there. We are an awesome better believe it!! Love, Nancy

From: Phoenix
Last Day Gambled: 2/22/03

LloydT Wednesday, 3/26/03, 1:32 PM

Good afternoon dear hubbers! I'm Lloyd and I'm a grateful CGer today. Congrats to Linda and Doug on milestones. Congrats to
all else for celebrating today! (Matt from Detroit) good job buddy. I'm feeling the same way--with my HP and with the
employment struggles. i've had issues with employment ever since I stopped gambling. But the important thing for me was to
start working--doing anything--in order to keep busy and to provide structure to my day. In drew unemplyment for 6 months
last year and figure now that I would have been better off working for the same, or lesser amount of money. But hey, that's
me. i am soooo encouraged by the hubbers here who 'turn it over' to their HP on a daily basis. Not easy for me. But I do, in my
own way, and darn it if it isn't working! Last week I turned it over to you guys to see if i could make it to the Chicago
conference next week and wouldn't you know it, I already have someone offering to give me a ride. And I spoke with the
registration chair from the conference and he said I can pay when I arrive. So all that's left is finding someone to share a room
with, or if there's a local member willing to put me up for the night. I've never been to a conference yet, but have seen the
typical schedule of events for one, and I'm sooo ready. i feel as if I need to get ready. Any hubbers that would like to give me
some recommendations on "how-to" make the most of a conference weekend, please drop me a note. Thank you hubbers for
the ongoing encouragement and thank you HP for the courage to chime in today. Your friend in recovery, LloydT

From: kalamazoo, Mich
Last Day Gambled: 12.04.01

Charlie K. Wednesday, 3/26/03, 1:10 PM

Hi Sisters and brothers in recovery. I'm Charlie K., a compulsive gambler. Congrats to all milestoners. We're currently in the
locks of the Panama Canal awaiting passage. What a day this has been with amazing sights and actually quite emotional
feelings about the wonders create by man. I'm grateful for the fellowship of GA and the people in the rooms and here on this
site for the sharing of experiences strength and hope that have aided me in the journey!!! I cannot believe I'm actually here
and doing this and living this dream!!! Love and ((((HUGS)))), Charlie K.[]

From: Ajijic, Mexico
Last Day Gambled: March 31, 1997

Genek Wednesday, 3/26/03, 1:06 PM

Hi all, Gene, a recovering compulsive gambler,checking in for my daily dose of ES&H. ~~~Congratulations to all reaching a
milestone today.(LindaP),you and so many others that were here when I first came to the GA hub in July 2002,were my
inspiration to try and follow in your footprints on this journey.~~~After my recent slips I have gone back to Step 1,where
obviously I had not completely surrendered to the reality thatI had no control over my gambling.And after writing and
answering yes to 19 of the 20 questions,that should have convinced me that my life was unmanageable.But this stubborn
Scorpio had to let her ego lead,instead of really turning everything over to my HP.My hardest problem to fully accept has been
my Hubby,s illness.,and will continue to be.By asking my God for the Serenity and the Courage needed,and alot of wisdom to
accept my own Realty is a daily prayer. I have reviwed and rewritten steps1-3,and reaffirmed my commitment to resume my
recovery journey.,.By posting ,sharing at meetings and making the searching inventories necessary for continuing Step4.. ~~I
think I just had another test of my patience.Had already written most of this in Word Perfect,when my son came on instant
messenger-in the process of answering him(,had forgotten to save it)-so lost the entire page.And all he had to say was that we
would have a very stormy weekend :):)Hey,",weather" comes first to him ",whether"" I .am interested or notLOL A(((SASHAS
LIST)))for all, Genek

From: New Jersey
Last Day Gambled: 3-09-03

Wednesday, 3/26/03, 1:04 PM

((((MATT))))will be rooting for ya..Carole..we posted at the exact same time..neat:)

Carole Wednesday, 3/26/03, 1:03 PM

OH MY!!!:):):), what a DELIGHTFUL surprise to see our LINDAP..oh feels so good to see you in here..came in to check posts,
chomping on my snickers bar, (another addiction)..and what on earth was in that Portland air??? Vicki, sounding so good and
Val and even Jaybird..hey, I thought that was a ladies thing????:):):)...GORDON hang on tight, you are so smart to post, just
hang on..keep reading the posts, and all the goodies at the front of the can, and will make the meeting..Rella ...31
days, cool:)(((Amber)))just because, you are too sweet..and Sylvia, you are sooooo welcome:)Robert, your daughter will
always love you..right on..and I have to go, time to prepare for the grandchildren, you all have a great evening..Carole:)

Matt W Wednesday, 3/26/03, 1:03 PM

Things are turning around for me. I am nearing 90 days clean. I dont have a penny to my name and I have no job but my kids
are healthy my wife loves me and life is good. I have a different outlook today than before. Today I know I dont have to handle
everything on my own I have god on my side. So far as bad as things have been I have not missed a meal and my family has
not missed a meal. Why? it was not what god wanted for me. I have turned in over 150 resumes in the last 3 months. Normally
my attitude would have been very negative because I was not getting any positive feedback. I stayed positive because I had a
sense of calmness,like god would take care of me on his timetable not mine. I had an interview on Monday with a fortune 500
company. The interview lasted almost 2 hours. It went very very good. They told me that they would be making a decision in 2
weeks. When I got home I told everyone that I will hear from them by the end of the week. I knew that I nailed the interview
and I would be shocked if I did not get the job. Today about 2 hours ago I recieved a call. They want me to come back at 9:00
on Friday. I cant be sure but I think it will be to offer me the job. Thinks work out if you turn it over to your HP.

From: Detroit,Mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-1-03

Robert B Wednesday, 3/26/03, 11:43 AM

Good Morning Hubster's, what a truly awesome and beautiful day today is, My best day gambling will never compare to my
worst day in recovery!!!!!!! Recovery Rocks!!!!! and I owe that to GA and the CG Hub, Thank You all for that. Congrats to all
milestoners today, Keep working the Program and it will work!!!!!((((Anna Marie)))) Welcome to the CG Hub, you will find all
the strength and courage you need to beat this horrible disease at your nearest GA meeting, get there ASAP for your own
sanity, you will be glad that you did, May God Bless You and help you daily. ((((Amber)))) your post was right on target, for a
relative newcomer you are getting it pretty early Congrats for that, It took me almost nine months of my recovery to figure that
part out!!!!!((((DalB)))) keep onliving in today and your recovery will really Rock. ((((Jaybird))))sorry about having to duck out
of the meeting last night, but when one of my sponsee's calls I pretty much drop everything like my sponsor did for me....
((((Jim))))I really enjoyed the questions and the answers our hubsters gave, thanks for all your hard work in setting that
up!!!!As for me My wife continues to play games using my daughter as her shield, but I have decided to give it to God and let
him deal with her, I finally realized that no matter what my wife does or says that my daughter will always love me, she can
not take that away from!!!!!! I can hardly for my F2F meeting tonight I so enjoy them, the fellowship and support and simply a
gift from God!!!!Better get going.......YBIR Robert B

From: Albuquerque NM
Web Site:
Last Day Gambled: 11-07-2000
LindaP Wednesday, 3/26/03, 11:26 AM

Hi All You Wonderful People! It's seems like such a long time since I've posted here to the Hub and yet I carry so many of you
in my heart every single day, and some of you continue to have to put up with me on a very regular basis:). It was important
to me to check in today because of my 3 year milestone. No, it's not about wanting or needing kudos. That is another
wonderful gift of recovery for me. Today I know the world and everyone in it does not revolve around me - it's just not all about
me! For someone who lived most of their life trying to impress others with what I had and knew, and worrying about what they
thought, and being so needy all the time, getting better at seeing that part about not being the center of the universe has been
HUGE! Today I simply wanted to post to give some HOPE to all those of you that are new to this awesome place of sharing and
caring and are struggling and hurting and confused. To be another someone with some recovery behind them to tell you that
life away from the bet is not only possible, but infinitely better, fuller and richer than any thrill or high we could ever hope to
get from gambling. The 12 Step program of recovery teaches us how to live and we come to look at life for the incredible gift
that it is. The joy comes from the gratitude we get for being able to genuinely feel that way inside! The "stuff" of life does not
change in recovery but we do. The way we come to be able to accept life on life's terms, in awareness and acceptance, is the
payoff for living and practicing the steps the best that we can each day.~~~~~Life for me today has gotten so very simple. It
has become about nothing more than getting better at loving that spark of the Divine that is in every single one of us, starting
with ourselves. Taking to our very heart the words that we have heard all our lives - that "do onto others as we would have
them do unto us". Who would have ever thought it could come down to being that simple? But it is. We show love and
compassion to and for ourselves and others and everything else just keeps falling into place. Through the program that Golden
Rule becomes more than just mere words. We begin to experience it more and more for ourselves in our daily affairs and "the
promises" come alive and all we want to do is be able to give away what we have come to know! But we also know with a
certainty that we all have to travel our own path in our own way and in our own time. So we try to carry the message of Hope
in whatever ways we can odaat.~~~~~I'm so very thankful for the day I found the Hub! I always will be because through this
program of recovery I have come home to myself. I accept who and what I am today and I know I will never stop growing and
changing, and now I understand that is just exactly how it's suppose to be. We begin to be able to rest in our imperfection
because we are willing to keep changing what we can, and the best part is that we come to know there can, and absolutely
should be, joy on the journey! Great big (((((((hugs)))))) you "awesome bunch"! Linda~~~PS. AND the YaYa Retreat was
INCREDIBLE!!! Thanks Val and all you YaYa's! AND I still can't do "short"!

From: NoCalif
Last Day Gambled: 03/26/00

Rella Wednesday, 3/26/03, 11:25 AM
HI all, Its free for 31 is truly a miracle!! I'm emailing from work so I can't be long...but I wanted to brag a
bit and also let you all know my foot is doing fine..I am trying to take it easy. And Girls... how was the YA YA retreat....sorry I
missed it!!! Love and Peace,

From: WA
Web Site: Rella
Last Day Gambled: Feb 25, 2003

jaybird Wednesday, 3/26/03, 11:16 AM

good morning to you all this fine morning, 1ST OFF BIG CONGRATS TO MY DEAR FRIEND LINDA P, 3 YEARS, WOW ATTA GIRL,
coffee from a cup another dear friend gave me in portland, thats says honorary ya ya sister, thanks Vicky smiles, and raising
my cup to ya sis. things pretty good for me now in general, but i know in order for them to stay that way i have to be in
recovery everyday(need my meds daily) delores hope your having a better day today, bend my ear anytime sis, thats what this
program is about here for me here for you, "UNITY" HOW SWEET IT IS. just very thankfull for all that has been given to me
here on the hub, yes we are a awesome bunch, vicky would love to get a hub retreat going. love to all of ya on sasha,s list,
have a good day cause your here anyway, progress don;t worry about the perfection. plant them recovery bulbs they sure
come up pretty, just picked my 1st tulips of the year this morning, and gave to patty. see ya ybir jaybird

From: port angeles,wa
Last Day Gambled: 1/18/01

gordon dedul Wednesday, 3/26/03, 11:00 AM

hello every one great posts today . ldg oct 15 02 i am having ahard time today . my thoughts are scrambled i am still gamble
free thank god i can hardly wait till sat going to f2f meeting in edmonton luv ya hugs hugs

From: alberta canada
Vicki B Wednesday, 3/26/03, 10:28 AM

I am a compulsive gambler. Grateful for this new day and the desire to remain bet free TODAY. Arrived back home from the
YAYA retreat in the wee hours last night. I broke down crying, as John and I were having a problem locating each other at the
airport in Detroit. I just kept walking back and forth from American West drop off, to the lower level for American West
arrivals....we kept missing each other. He finally parked and came into the terminal and I was dragging my exhausted self back
up to that entrance and I SAW HIM! "John!" He didn't recognize the crazed looking woman with the "too-poofy red hair." (I was
wearing the new hair-do I bought in Portland!) It only took us 1 3/4 hrs to finally connect up with each other. I ended up calling
off work today as I needed to rest and I was feeling a little flying weary. Loved Portland, and my YAYA sisters were an
awesome bunch to share and care with! So much heart to heart bonding happened.(((Aleta, Audrey Z, Linda P., Nancy M.,
Patty C and her jaybird hubby, Sharon J., Val K., and myself))) I got just what I needed there...laughter, tears, giggles, belly
laughs, hugs, identification, feelings of being a part of, rather than apart from. I have treasures to put onto a recovery shelf,
and my heart is full of spiritual treasures! I got to "know my YAYA sisters"! Thank-you to each of you. You help me more than
words can convey. I trust that one day we all will be able to have a HUB RETREAT..."We already know each other's hearts." It
will be awesome as we meet face-to-face. I had to buy an extra suitcase to bring back my purchases. I had an extra day in
Portland to go "Malling", and to take in the awesome sights of Oregon and Washington from the Colombia River Gorge. God's
creations majestically laid out before me, and I was filled with gratitude for being a part of it. Well, the chores of today are
calling out to me. I need to get going. Thank-you to each of you for sharing your experience, strength, and hope with this
slowly, recovering compulsive gambler. I forgive myself and others for past misdeeds. "I am not where I want to be, but I am
so much better than I used to be." Congratulations to the milestones! Welcome to the new folks, we do understand the
isolation, depression and demoralization of active compulsive gambling. THE GOOD NEWS IS ...recovery is possible One Day At
A Time!!! My self-will still is a major factor in my daily condition....Today I surrender that self-will, as I seek to know and do the
will of my HP. (YES, to Life, no to gambling!) Wishing all of you a day of connectedness! Praying for our military and their
families. Next time I see someone in uniform I will remember to say "thank-you for your service and sacrifices made to defend
our country, and our world." May I not take for granted the many freedoms I have today. Love, Hugs, and Prayers, Vicki B

From: MI
Last Day Gambled: 10/11/02

SYLVIAB Wednesday, 3/26/03, 9:20 AM

DEAR CAROLE, Thank you for your comment. I appreciate the validation. JIMA I will give Doug your regards.
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02

Dave Of Beckenham Wednesday, 3/26/03, 8:54 AM

My name is Dave I am a compulsive Gambler and will be till the day I DIE! I have been through different stages of looking at
myself. Some days not being as honest as I would like to be. On entering GA I wanted to sit on the pitty pot and then beat
myself. Did it help me. Not really. First of all playing the victim after being perprator for so long seemed insane. Then starting
to learn I was sick beat myself up. Yes sure that sounds healthy. But as I listened to therapies I saw myself in others. How
come I could see myself in them but not see how insane I was. How could I justify every thing I did? Then there was periods
when I was able to laugh. First of all laugh at others then laugh at myself. That told me I was letting go of self hatred and was
forgiving myself. Was that possible to forgive me for all I did. What was I worth? What value was there in my life. Could I only
be happy with my family. Then I heard Gratitude is recovery. Well blowed my mind. But if you do good and are becoming good
why not accept responsability. I use to think every thing I did was bad or wrong. I became aware I was appreciating things.
Small at first but gratitude was growing. I was growing. I was exchanging bad habits for good habits. I saw how simple things
could be if I let go of fear. Can life be that simple. Why did I have to make things so complicated. Why wait till the last minute
to do or plan things? Why put myself under pressure. Was I the only person who felt inadeqaute insecure and lonely? Why was
I not able to communicate. It all fits together. Life has value. I have very little if no emotional ties the act of Gambling. To be
free of it all is a chance at lif itself. I am hoping to say thanks to person responsable for saving my life Feb 2002. It has taken
all this time to get the chance to express myself and I am going to enjoy it. To tell some one how important his skills mean to
me and my family. I stopped breathing 3 time and they brought me round to life again. Second crack at the whip. A trully new
life. It usettled me. But today I am good with it all. 13 months for ambulance service to get their act together could have ruined
it all, but I am beyond all that. Gratitude needs to be displayed and expressed. It is my responsability. I let Frustration ruin my
life for so long. But serenity prayer is not always what you want to hear is it? LOL. Love to you all. Dave

From: Uk For Now!
Last Day Gambled: 1992 August

Deb D. Wednesday, 3/26/03, 8:21 AM

Just popping in to do some reading & want to wish everyone a great gamble free day. I feel this morning like I'm coming
apart...seems as though I'm whirling around in all directions. I know I'm feeling over whelmed with all I have to do...not just
the packing and moving but all the work I haveon my plate for Intergroup...there just doesn't seem to be any end to it. The
projects just keep coming even before one can get finished...then to top it all of, hubby decided to do some upgrading on this
computer...forgetting that all my work I have to guessed I can't read my files, can't send out the proper
format to the rooms and I'm just feeling lost. As a good friend reminded me this morning..."this to have pass". I'm sure after a
walk around the block and some fresh air, the repeating of the serenity prayer a few times and a couple of phone calls I'll feel
much better. So before this sinking feeling gets any worse, I'm gonna get movin'. Everyone have a great day, "CONGRATS" to
all having milestones today and welcome to the newcomers. Sending prayers and GA (((HUGS))) to all. YSIR, Deb D.

From: Denver, Colorado
Last Day Gambled: 4/14/01

Amber Wednesday, 3/26/03, 7:48 AM

Morning (((All))........(((Cheryl))) this hug is for you! I also remember how much happier I was before gambling took over my
life. I keep that memory close to me because I strive in recovery to return to a more normal way of living and
thinking...smiles...and it's been happening!.... (((Anna-Marie))) Welcome! I know how you feel about trying to quit on your
own! It's sooooo hard! For me, my own will-power just wasn't enough. I would go a few days, maybe a week and then gamble
again, becoming such a vicious cycle of abuse........Something that I realized this morning, and this might sound silly, but it
was harder for me to live the way I was living when I was gambling than it is for me to live without gambling. Recovery is a
cake-walk compared to the emotional agony I experienced as an active gambler. Even when urges come up, it's still easier to
deal with those urges than it is to live in the daily hell of gambling.....smiles....I know it sounds so obvious, but I had never
thought of it in such an obvious way before!....sometimes you can't see the forrest because of the trees!.....ysir Amber

Last Day Gambled: the last day of my old life

Carole Wednesday, 3/26/03, 7:37 AM

ITS A NEW DAY!!! Carole here recovering compulsive gambler and so grateful for this day, and super grateful to see a couple
new names here(((((ANNE MARIE))) hang on tight, this place is perfect, just email anyone here and read the posts and listen to
your HP..step by step it can be and will be done.. (((CHERYL))) welcome back, ((TNA))) keep up the good stuff, you too can do
this((((VAL)))) such a treat to read your post, you are an awesome gal, and (((LINDAP))))3 years, when I logged on here on
march 6.. I had 20 DAYS in.....she celebrated 2 years..the whole day, people wrote such beautiful things to her, about her, I
WANTED WHAT LINDA, VAL, JONI, and many others all the newcomers..hang on tight, cause hanging around this Hub
and recovery day by day changes a person from the inside out..:)(((SYLVIA)))THANKS FOR...none of us REALLY KNOW the
lengths of which anyone goes to work the program..and we need each other, thanks for saying that, cause whether our writing
is simple or not, or long or short, in time the only person who needs to be in control is US, while holding our HP's
hand...honesty is the key, and HE knows, and that is the main thing...funniest thing happens when we GET into recovery, the
by-product of JOY...gotta love that..wishing everyone a super day..or close to it..Carpe Diem, Carole

From: british columbia, canada
Last Day Gambled: march 6/2002

Wednesday, 3/26/03, 7:19 AM

Date: Wed, 26 Mar 2003 Today's thought is: The only limits to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. Let us
move forward with a strong and active faith. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt Keep the Faith When following the inner voice, one must
deal with the experience of uncertainty. The future is not laid out and comes down to trust - trusting that the support will be
there; that the money will come; that if one path does not work out, another one will open up. We can develop this trust from
experience. We step out in faith the first time, and the Universe supports us. We step out again and the assistance is there.
After several experiences, we begin to feel comfortable living by faith - our "invisible means of support." We no longer need to
know ahead of time how everything will work out. So make the decision. Let go of the worry, the anxiety, and the doubt. Have
faith in your connection to universal principles, for it is here that your true security lies. The Universe will not abandon you if
you maintain your connection to it. Keep the faith, and the faith will keep you. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Today's
meditation comes from the book Listening to Your Inner Voice by Douglas Bloch copyright 1991 sharing..ysir, love Joni B

Valorie Wednesday, 3/26/03, 6:45 AM

Good morning all, I am a rcg who is learning how to live in my own recovery odaat. Still feeling filled up from our retreat. It
was all I hoped for and more. I've come to know that for me, laughter really is a healing medicine, along with sharing and
caring. I shared a room with Vicki B - what a treat. We are both morning know, our lips start moving right after
our eyes pop open. My YA YA sister. So many special moments. Cyber-souls getting together, an awesome bunch indeed.
((Nancy)) Welcome newcomers. When I first found this site I tied a knot and held on....especially during those first few days
and weeks, and I began to work the steps. I discovered that gambling was but a symptom of my dis-EASE with life and that I
had to be willing to go to any lenghts to stop the behavior long enough for the roots of recovery to grow and blossom. I posted
daily and reached out to others at this site. The 12-steps, and others who were living odaat without making a bet saved my
ass. At close to 20 months I began to get complacent, taking my recovery for granted, thinking I was immune to a return to
the casino - and I relapsed. I understand the full meaning when someone says "We'll gladly refund your misery." It took me 2
days to be exactly where I was spiritually, mentally, and emotionally when I first found this site on that day in June of 01. I got
my butt back here and back to f2f meetings - in my case AA because of an inability to attend f2f GA meetings. There is nothing
left for me "out there." There is everything I need in the 12-step way of life. These days Recovery Rocks for me, and I know it
can for you if you have a desire to stop gambling. Just reach for the recovery rope and hang on. A big congratulations for those
celebrating milestones today ((((LINDA P)))). Stay safe my friends and enjoy the journey. YSIR, Val

From: Oregon
Last Day Gambled: 2/17/03

Jim A. ( Wednesday, 3/26/03, 6:43 AM

Hello everyone ~~~ Sylvi, please give my regards to Doug on the occasion of celebrating his One Year Anniversary, and the
ongoing and continuing success of the GA Program -- what a Gift! -- GA continues to flourish, one day at a time, one recovering
person at a time, doesn't it? I plan to attend my regularly scheduled GA meeting in Flint this evening (looking forward to being
with another 'growing group'), so give my best to Doug, and Jim M. and Rich R. and everyone else! ~~~ By the way, I'll be
there 'in Spirit'! ~~~ Peace. p.s. Linda P. CONGRATULATIONS on 3 YEARS f*r*e*e, yet still searching :) -- I am humbled and
inspired by your example!!

From: Davison (City of Flags), Michigan
Last Day Gambled: January 23, 1996

Joni B Wednesday, 3/26/03, 6:24 AM

GOD Morning Precious Friends..a cg..yep..always will be..Grateful for that reality today...just had to stop in an ((((SHASHA
LIST)))..yep..starts my Morning Great..and tooo welcome all coming and sharing with keep coming and we
all get better and how it works:):) a BIG ((((MILESTONERS)Clap Clap clap..and more
"Grand"that is..One Day at a time....that precious gift given us....NEAT!!... (((((LindaP))))) hope hope you will come soon
and share with us abit too..3 Years g/f..that is AWESOME!!..smiling here:)..God bless you and your Recovery we all
take the Recovery Steps..and let life Spiritual Wonderful Things..and A Wonderful
thing..a "GOD" Thing."AN INSPIRATION" and "EXAMPLE" that it Works..if you WORK IT..and let it FLow:):)...smiles.. each of
you..have given me soo much....Ive learned something from each of you..and for that I am eternally Grateful.....let us take on
this Day....and love it to pieces...every bit..even the tough parts...for its gone ever to quickly..lets just DO Heart just
know we can..with our HP right there with us..just know it:) will be for Vacation to get my plates for my
car..and have couple appts..and I will share bit later tooo..(((((((((((((GROUP))))) love you precious people..totally:):) ysir,

From: Nebr.
Last Day Gambled: 7/08/00 Grateful

SylviaB Wednesday, 3/26/03, 6:09 AM

Correction:JIM M not JIMA. How nice that Doug will actually have a Trustee at his pinning. What an honor. It will be good to see
you, Jim M.

From: Michigan
Last Day Gambled: January 11, 2002

Dal B. Wednesday, 3/26/03, 6:03 AM

Good Morning all, Cheryl, I know it's tough..I had the temptation today, but I cannot fulfill it anyway. The bars don't open
earlier then my work and so..:)_________Those dang things are so alluring, the pretty colors and the (Sometimes) music can
be the most dangerous attractant. KInd of reminds me of what they say about trampolines.."Attractive Nusiance" and that's the
best type of view to have of them________I was tempted, due to reflecting on the upcoming dental bills...On the 15th, I have
to shell out $1,200+ for the dentures..But I'll only have the impressions done, then another visit to make the "Bite" impressions
and THEN comes the extractions (About 11) and they'll put the dentures in that same day..And hit me with a $500+
bill__________So, you can say, that I got "Scared" about the bills and so, I was leaning in that directon. But I remembered the
last time I went gambling..$900 shot to hell..Hmmm...That would have made my payment only $800 and less to worry about.
_______That's my sore spot, being scared of tomorrow, leaving me NO time to live today.________ (((((HUGS))))) Dal
(Ignoring the past and future) B.

From: Vancouver, WA
Last Day Gambled: 12/31/02
Cheryl Wednesday, 3/26/03, 5:44 AM

Hello everyone. I havent been here for a while. I felt the need to come back to this site. It's so inspiring to read the posts.
(((Anna Marie)), I feel for you. Your story is so similar to mine. Yes, I have a wonderful husband too and I feel so bad for
spending my money on gambling and his too. I've maxxed out his credit card and I feel just terrible about it. He knows this,
but didnt get upset. I do have to pay it though. When I gambled the other day, I was convinced I could win and pay this money
back. Yes, I did win...only to put it all back in the VLT. I've come to the conclusion that gambling means I'm living in a fantasy
world. And to think of the time and money I'm wasting. Those of you who have quit are truly strong people and I want to be
like that. I feel like a slave to this addiction. It's a terrible feeling. I want to have control of my life again....and remember how
much happier I was before gambling. I used gambling as an escape. Like I said, it's a fantasy world. I'm looking to all of you for
support especially when it comes to "getting the urge" to gamble. Thanks for the ear and please help.

Last Day Gambled: 3/24/03

Patty Wednesday, 3/26/03, 5:41 AM

Morning All.. Thanks for all the nice words you all said about am blushing...but even so ..i will take them as
completments...thanks...for many many years when someone praised me or said...well done..I actually could not take a
complement...thought ohh no they are just saying Self Esteem was so low....Self worth was nill.....i can't believe now
...that i am the lucky one to have been so sick...that i used to drive two hours there and back to a meeting...i needed them to
stay in the day and to have balance...i could not survive a week without a meeting....and T-day i am glad of that...For years i
thought..ohh no one is as bad as me...look i can't even understand the steps not to mind do them...ha ha...but this programme
works...i know this and the gifts to be got are so kids are not so badly affected by their dad anymore,They
understand that Gambling is an addiction...and a that takes away that person and changes them into something
you don't sad...I am off this weekend to a G.a. conference...can't wait...the joy in meeting all my friends..(real
friends)))....that is what i have T-day is REAL friends...ones that will tell me the truth....thanks for listening to me Patty.....

From: Ireland

Wednesday, 3/26/03, 5:35 AM
Reflection for the DAY..I know today that getting active means trying to live the Steps of the Gamblers Anonymous Program to
the best of my ability. It means striving for some degree of honesty, first with myself, then with others. It means activity
directed inward, to enable me to see myself and my relationship with my Higher Power more clearly. As I get active, ourside
and inside myself, so shall I grow in this Program. Do I let others do all the work at meetings? Do I carry my share? Today I
PRAY..May I realize that "letting go and letting God" does not mean that I don not have to put any effort into the Program. It is
up to me to work the Twelve Steps, to learn what may be an entirely new thing with me--honesty. May I differentiate between
activity for activity's sake-- busy work to keep me from thinking--and the thoughtful activity that helps me to grow. Today I
WILL Remember.."Letting God" means letting God show us how. sharing..A Day at a time..GA..THE HUB

Wednesday, 3/26/03, 5:27 AM

The HUB would like to Congratulate All those reaching another Milestone!!!Ray H 2-26-82..Barb V. 9-26-88..Herb T.01-26-
00..Linda P. 3-26-00 3 YEARS!!..MAC S 4-26-02..Don S. 08-26-0..Julie W 09- 26-02..Tina B. 10-26-02..Dfm 11-26-02..EmJay
1-26- 03 ...CLAP CLAP CLAP..CELEBRATE "TODAY".."YOU"..WAY TO GO!!!!!!!!!:):)

Sylvia Wednesday, 3/26/03, 5:02 AM

Good morning fellow compulsive gamblers, I'm Sylvia and I am committed to my Recovery. richr, I'll see you at the pinning,
then. Doug is a somewhat shy person and will be delighted by yours and JimA's attendance. He has worked hard on his
recovery. None of us ever really know the lengths to which anyone else goes to work the program. Some things are more
visible than others, and some things take more time to rise to the surface. It continues to be a privilege to see how those who
choose the GA way of life evolve in their experience of this program. I know it is the ONLY WAY for me . Without GA I know I
would have entered the gate of insanity or death. Prison, I'm not so sure, unless being a Prisoner of my own fears, doubts, and
erroneous thinking count. But yes, maybe even prison. I want to apologize for perhaps posting too many poems and quotes
instead of sharing more of my experience strength and hope. I think it was a fear to reveal myself and that my thoughts were
not as interesting or valuable. At any rate, it has become very clear to me of late why the statement :GA has no opinions on
outside issues :hence the Gamblers Anonymous name ought never be drawn into public controversy., is there. Every issue has
at least 2 sides, and that is an opportunity for division, misunderstanding etc. And division gets in the way of Recovery. We
gamblers and compulsive people don't handle controversy very well. At least I don't. So bear with me please. I need you all.
Love Your Friend in Recovery (sister, brother,already points out a difference),Sylvia B

From: Michigan
Last Day Gambled: January 11, 2002 By the Grace of God

Sylvia Wednesday, 3/26/03, 5:02 AM

Good morning fellow compulsive gamblers, I'm Sylvia and I am committed to my Recovery. richr, I'll see you at the pinning,
then. Doug is a somewhat shy person and will be delighted by yours and JimA's attendance. He has worked hard on his
recovery. None of us ever really know the lengths to which anyone else goes to work the program. Some things are more
visible than others, and some things take more time to rise to the surface. It continues to be a privilege to see how those who
choose the GA way of life evolve in their experience of this program. I know it is the ONLY WAY for me . Without GA I know I
would have entered the gate of insanity or death. Prison, I'm not so sure, unless being a Prisoner of my own fears, doubts, and
erroneous thinking count. But yes, maybe even prison. I want to apologize for perhaps posting too many poems and quotes
instead of sharing more of my experience strength and hope. I think it was a fear to reveal myself and that my thoughts were
not as interesting or valuable. At any rate, it has become very clear to me of late why the statement :GA has no opinions on
outside issues :hence the Gamblers Anonymous name ought never be drawn into public controversy., is there. Every issue has
at least 2 sides, and that is an opportunity for division, misunderstanding etc. And division gets in the way of Recovery. We
gamblers and compulsive people don't handle controversy very well. At least I don't. So bear with me please. I need you all.
Love Your Friend in Recovery (sister, brother,already points out a difference),Sylvia B

From: Michigan
Last Day Gambled: January 11, 2002 By the Grace of God

rich r Wednesday, 3/26/03, 4:24 AM

Good morning all, especially Anna Marie from Calif! Rich R, compulsive gambler who is so happy he quit gambling while he was
ahead (...ahead of the tracks going to 12hr simucasting, ahead of casinos coming to my area, ahead of the era of day-trading
on one's PC). ~~~ On my walk yesterday I was thinking of one more resource for the newcomers who don't have any GA
meeting nearby. If you can get to an AA or NA meeting, then you can work the steps RIGHT HERE. Our dear webmaster Charlie
P has set up a page for each step. You can read about the step (just like we do in our GA rooms) and then you can read what
other CGhub members have written about the step, then you can post what you want to about the step. Isn't that NICE? :-)
Here's the link to step one... ( That's it for today, trying to keep things short. ~~~ I'll be
back :-) ~~~ [p.s. Jim M is picking me up tonight and we are drving to Warren for a 1-year celebration for a retired guy named
Doug. Should be fun!]
From: detroit
Web Site: Compulsive Gamblers Hub - Message Board Step Discussions - Step 1.
E-mail: richr121500@yahoo(dot)com
Last Day Gambled: 121599

Dave Of Beckenham Wednesday, 3/26/03, 1:13 AM

My name is Dave I am a compulsive Gambler and will be till the day I DIE! I use to think in my addiction I hurt every one
except myself. It was only I took responsability for my own pain that I could do some thing about it. It was only when I was
honest to myself that I was able to move on. How is ti so easy to hate your self and feel it is normal? Once I acknowedged I
was in apin could I do some thing about it. On arriving in GA I was trully traumatised. Could not cope with my feelings of pain.
I was so over sensitive it was unbelievable. Today for me to heal I need to deal with my feelings understand them. How do you
messure how much pain you are in? When is enough enough. Where did all that anger and self hatred come from? In learning
and understanding of yourslef it is possible to get to a better place. To be stronger and wiser just for today. The expression got
sick of being sick sounded common sense to me but was not able to act on it. Step one worked for me when it is beyond what I
thought and became what I felt. Step one is surrender to the extreme. It is not me being weak it is me being strong. Resolve in
my way of life. Why keep fighting your self? Where is the sanity in that? Why deny yourself reqards of your efforts? Troubled
motivated souls all sharing wisdom find their own path today. Who we need or want today is not alaways who we need or want
tomorrow. It is by demonstrating our strength and steel we make amends. Fear use to be my reason for procastranation.
Always allowing fear to hold me back. Life has it ups and down today but I cannot afford to allow it to beat me. I face each
situation as a new challenge to achieve. Writing to paper sequences of todays programme. Not putting myself under pressure
arriving at the last moment. At meetings before time to just relax and enjoy the moment. How sick was I? Wow well am I
today. Is this all a dream how I feel about myself. Is the hurt child really in touch with my blessed soul today? What price is my
well being today. Is it worth the effort to grow and bloom a blessed soul sharing all that has value. How far is my wall
crumbled. And fi so where did all the bricks go that made up that fearful wall? The child can paly free of fear now? The guilt
trips are no more? Words have meaning. Was the smell of the loved always that beatiful? Or is it my senses are now clear. The
voice in pain cn touches my heart with out me wanting to hide, how can it be. Can reality really feel this good. Where have I
been? Love to you all. Dave

From: Uk For Now!
Last Day Gambled: 1992 August
ROCKING RECOVERY! scrap-book Wednesday, 3/26/03, 12:17 AM

Just click on the link below as some fellow travelers share with you a little bit of their 'experience, strength, and hope' from
their journey of recovery. Just read and browse, or share too if you like! ~~~~ Welcome AnnaMarie, from California, keep
coming back!

From: (Jim A.)
Web Site: ROCKING RECOVERY! scrap-book
Last Day Gambled: January 23, 1996

Hub Posts Thursday 3/27/03
Daily and Nightly HUGS and PRAYERS to the Hub Family, All CG'S, ALL MILITARY TROOPS and Human Kind Thursday, 3/27/03,
9:47 PM

(((((AletaE, Amber, Andy-sydney, Anita A,, Ann, Anna, AnnaC, ANNA MARIE, Arnie W, Anthony from London, Audrey, Audrey J-
Miranda, Barb, Barbara- Rella, BeckyB, BevR, BONNIE, Brandy, Brenda , Brenda A, Brenda R, Brett, Cali, CHERYL, Cole,
Colleen, Carole, CarolynK, Charlie K, CharlieP, Chatcat,Christine T, Cindy D, Cindy H, CindyW, Collette, Curtis L, Dal B,
Damaris, Dan,Dark_Lady, Dave, Dboy,DC, Dean, Deb B, Deb D, Deb G, DEBBIE, Del, Delores, Denise, DennisP, DIANA N, Dina,
Don C, DON D, DonnaC, Dr. Jim, Dorothe, Doug L, Emily, Emjay,FEO, Fiddler,GAIL, GaryK, GeneK, Gordon D. Gramers, Howie
C, Jake A,Janie J, Jaybird, JayL, Jennifer, Jeannie, JERRY, Jim A, Jim K, Joeanne, John H, John M, JoniB,Josie, Jude, JUDY,
Karen, Kat, Katielyn, Kathy K, Kathy S, Ken, Ken F, Kinnon, Lanie, LdyQP, Lenett, Lily , Linda C, LINDA P, Liz, Lloyd, Lu S,
Madge, Maggie,MAMAFV, Marc, Marie, Mark, Mark M, Marty, Mary, Mary J, Marym downunder, MattW, Max H, , Melissa- sasha,
Michelle, MIKEP, Miranda, MYRNA, Nance, Nancy M, NICKY, Nita, Okiemaw, PAT B, Pat L, Patty, Paula, Pete, Pete T, Purdell,
Rachel, Ramona, RandyM, Ray H, ReneeB, ReneeC, Rich_DET, Richr, Robert, Robin H, Rose, Rose- Adrian, Sal, Sandy, SandyK,
Scott, R, Skogie1999, Sharon G, SharonJ, Sheila L, Sheryl, S Jane, Sorry, SUNSHINE, Suzanne, Sue, SusanP, Steve, Steven,
SylviB, Tara, Tino (sidepocketkid), Tna- Tina, Todd, Tom P, TomS, TOM W, Tracy, TRISH S, Valorie, Vel M, VickiB, Vida, Wayne,
Williamk, Wilma, Ymg/Ymg, Zanna, OUR LOVED ONES, ALL MILITARY TROOPS and Humankind))))) <180>

Last Day Gambled: ONE DAY AT A TIME>ONE MOMENT AT A TIME - Peace Out
Sasha Thursday, 3/27/03, 9:38 PM

((RALLA))((RELLA'S- SON'S)) I keep your son's and your family close to my heart during this time. Thanks for the share Rella.
Love YSIR Melissa

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03

Genek Thursday, 3/27/03, 9:22 PM

Hi all, Just dropping in to say Good Night.(((Rella)) You have two sons helping to defend our country,God Bless you and your
sons and our country-Fly the Flag,tomorrow to show your support.A(((((sashas list)))for all hubbers, Love Gene K

From: NJ
Last Day Gambled: 3-09-03

Vicki B Thursday, 3/27/03, 8:50 PM

Toddling off to bed. Saying a prayer for you who have loved ones in service to our country... (((Rella))), for those in
grief...(((Patty and Jaybird))), and just because...(((All CGHubsters)))!!!

From: MI
Last Day Gambled: 10/11/02

Sasha Thursday, 3/27/03, 8:37 PM

Hello Hub Family: Thanks for posting today. Today is not a good day for me. No, no urges...just work related issues with a
client. Apparently I can do no right in the eyes of this person. Actually I laugh because she said "why do I call you then, you are
of no help'. Oh boy, but I had to bite my tongue. She also said that I did not listen to her at all and that everything I was
saying to her was details she was not interested in. Well, sometimes we all have these days. 1. She probably had a bad day
and is dumping on me. Actaully, writing this out makes me feel better. Sometimes, two people have a hard time understand
one another..and today I had a difficult time understanding her. But she was trying to make a point that I cannot decide
on...and when I explained that I spoke with the project manager regarding what she had shared earlier, she said 'see, that was
not my point, I feel as though I am not being HEARD and you would not listen to me" ouch, so I said that I apologize if she felt
that way, that was not my intention...and asked her to tell me what she had on her mind. Well, there again I misunderstood
her. OH BROTHER. So I called the project manager and told him that what I understand is this....but that no matter what, I
could not make her feel better or secure that things were being taken care of....Let Go and Let HP. Tomorrow I will have a
meeting with my VP to discuss my future with the company. Basically tomorrow I will be let go because sales are not up....No
one has made any sales. My friends think that wont happen, but I am prepared. It is actaully time for a change....So much has
happened at my company and I have endured many changes. Dont get me wrong, I am a flexible person and welcome change,
however there is a price with change, sometimes. My health is not as good as it use to related stress has affected
me. My blood pressure was high the other day....and I use have low blood pressure. My breathing is labored when I stress..that
has been occuring for the last month. My chest feels tight and that occurs during work stress. I use to be great at managing my
stress. Oh yes, the whole time I was paying the collection agency, I was feeling anxiety. A whole multitude of things. Well, if I
am impacted tomorrow...I am going to visit with my best friend and God Son. Then I am going to the track to do my
my BF in Philly and get ready for my trip. I just need to get some sleep tonight and have a great start tomorrow morning
before the meeting. There is nothing else I can do but BE POSTIVE and HAPPY. AND to know what ever comes my WAY it
ALWAYS turns out for the best...always has and always will. Yes, I love life that much.....and I love my health.....Strenght,
Peace and Love to you all YSIR Mels

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03

Kathy K Thursday, 3/27/03, 8:25 PM

Dear Hubbers, Sorry I haven't posted in a while....been a bit overwhelmed with work and several other matters that now seem
trivial after reading some of your posts. (((JAYBIRD & PATTY)))All my love and deepest sympathy, you are in my thoughts and
prayers...Hugs! (((RELLA)))Godspeed to your son's, I will pray for their safe return. Extra hugs from one Mom to another.
(((MARIE))) Jim and I are planning a long weekend in Rhode Island soon to see his family. I would love to meet you if it is ok.
(((AMBER))) email me when you get the chance, my friend would love to get to know you, she is your neighbor.(((CAROLE)))
What would I do without you? A day doesn't go by that you aren't there for me. If I could someday develop just half of your
attitude and zest for life maybe I could be half the woman you are. Love you! (((SASHA))) Call me when you get to Philly and
hopefully we can work out a way to meet. I can just see you, me and East Coast YA YA! (((VAL))) We need to talk
again, I just loved the conversation we had and more importantly I just loved meeting you via the phone, and hoping we will
meet in person someday. You are an inspiring and very funny lady. Hugs! (((GENE))) I will try to call in the next day or two.
Put on the coffee or open the wine, we have some real talking to do. hugs! (((JONI))) Dear sweet Joni, I feel awful! Here you
are emailing me with concern and all the while you are going through mass emotions. Please don't feel bad about Rick not
getting employment yet. He is extremely talented and as soon as this awful ecomomy lifts he will surly be picked up by a good
firm. I have seen his work and if he lived here I would hire him tomorrow. And, you know I have a soft spot for Teddy, give him
a super hug from me! I will pray that all his tests come out just fine. I know in my heart that financially things will work out for
you. No one with a heart as big as yours should have to carry the burdens that you do. That sun porch is yours for keeps, I just
know it. love you!.......For all the milestones I have missed I am sending you all oodles of hugs and congratulations! (((SASHAS
LIST))) Hugs, hugs and more hugs!..........I received this quote in my email today and I thought it said so much...........
Acceptance has been called the first "law" of Spirit - and for good reason........................ If you can accept what is, there is no
conflict in life. There are no problems. There is no story. Accepting a situation, just as it is, closes the gap between what should
be and what is.................. Love you all, Kathy K

From: New Jersey
Web Site: The Last Bet
Last Day Gambled: The last day of my old life

Rella Thursday, 3/27/03, 6:26 PM

Hello buddies and thanks for being here. I am so sad and sorry for Jaybird and Patty. I have been there myself and I just so
wish you peace at this difficult time. I'm doing alright here in WA. Had a temptation to try my luck at the casino
yesterday....but made it home without, thank god. For a few moments I thought that perhaps I could "control" my betting. I
know I absolutley cannot and that that kind of thinking is just so weak and untrue. My eldest son Zachary is leaving for
Baghdad tomorrow AM, he is a tank commander...going with his platoon, as he puts it " to be where he needs to be to help his
brothers" right now. My youngest son Sam is in Airforce, Intellegence.. he is a pilot debreifer and he is in an undisclosed
location right now in the Middle East, just moved from Jordon. Please say a little prayer for all our a mom I just feel
so helpless and scared. I have got to stop watching the news...Im just so scared I will see there faces. There truly is a special
place in heaven for people who put their lives on the line for the freedom of others.. God...How I love those guys, my babies
and all of them!!! Take care all. Im hoping and praying that I stay sane and keep the faith. Love and Peace...Thanks again for
being here. RElla

From: WA
Web Site: rella
Last Day Gambled: Feb 25, 2003
Tino Thursday, 3/27/03, 5:53 PM

Just had to say Hi to all and hope that they are enjoying Recovery and all its Peace and Serenity. I am filled with so much joy
over all the good things happening in my life. Greatful yes I am because if the little green monster would have had it his way I
would have ended my life Aug.20th 2002. Here is a special hug for any one that needs one.

From: Las Vegas
Web Site:

Okiemaw Thursday, 3/27/03, 5:32 PM

((((((((((((((Patty & Jay)))))))))))))))

From: Oklahoma
Last Day Gambled: 1/29/03 ODAAT

Madge Thursday, 3/27/03, 5:21 PM

Thanks Sylvia and Howie for the info. It was greatly appreciated. Have a great gambling free day. God bless all of you and
especially our dear troops.

From: Mi
Last Day Gambled: 2/10/03

Delores Thursday, 3/27/03, 5:10 PM

(((CAROLE))), thank you for thinking of me! And those who sent emails. I'm doing better tonight. I only work a 4 day work
week. So today is my Friday what a relief. I have my first appointment with my counselor on Tuesday. I'm looking forward to it.
He's in GA & AA himself. I talked with him on the phone tonight, and he sounds great. My Mom is here, she's spending the
weekend with me. She likes to do this when my husband is out of town. It's so nice. We went out to dinner, and now we are
watching more of the World's Figure Skating. It's nice to quit thinking and fretting over things, I actually feel peaceful right
now, for the first time this week. Prayers work! (((JONI))) prayers are coming your've made some tough decisions.
Thinking of everyone else too, tonight with prayers, that are having some tough struggles. Love to all, and to our UFO's
(Unidentified Friendly Observers). YFIR Delores

From: Twin Cities, MN
Last Day Gambled: 3/12/03

Cindy D. Thursday, 3/27/03, 4:56 PM

Evening all....finally got a chance to get here and post. Has been a busy day for me. ----Jaybird, Saint Patty------- I have been
thinking of you all day, since I received your call this AM. Wish I was there to hold ya and hug ya in person. I know how it feels
to lose someone suddenly, such a hard thing. Sending peace and comfort your way. HUGS to all on {{{{{{Sasha's list,}}}}}}
Welcome to the newcomers and wishing those in pain a hope for miracles and the power of knowing your HP. YSIR, Cindy D.

From: Kansas-Land of OZ
Last Day Gambled: 10/28/02

SylviaB Thursday, 3/27/03, 4:40 PM

Fellow cgs, I just read some exciting news on another site. According to the writer, Time magazine in its 80th anniversary
edition, in an article on 80 days that changed the world, named the date 6/10/35 the day Bill W. and Dr Bob began the 12 Step
program. They say it has saved hundreds of thousands of people from the hell of addiction. But we knew that, didn't we? Sylvia

From: Mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02

Dave Of Beckenham Thursday, 3/27/03, 4:37 PM
My name is Dave I am a compulsive Gambler and will be till the day I DIE! On entering GA I was a very angry confused lost
soul. I had lost all faith and hope in my self. All the wisdom sounded weird to me. But eventually I abstained. I then found out
the only person I was fighting was myself. Very simple. But I did not know how to get out of the hole I had made for myself. I
had fallen into the world of despair. All those smiling facing. all that recovery caused bad feelings on my part. Why because I
could not see myself putting any sanity in my life. I did not how to cope on my own. In time I surrendered fighting myself. I
accepted I was beaten. I accepted the fact I was a man I did not like being. I did not want to accept responsability that IT WAS
MY ACTIONS not the Gambling that hurt the people I loved. And if I was going to be mature I needed to accept that fact.
Maturity some times seems so impossible. Saying sorry well it took me years to become responsable. It hurt accepting
responsability. Then once my family did not fear that much they started telling me the truth. Dave some times you are still an
ass hole. Yup that sounds good? Ego dashed, think again maybe about my actions? But the truth hurts, but in learning it was
healthy for people to be honest with me. Not only was it a reflection of them but also of my relatioship with them. And of
course relationship with myself. Today I do not want to be any one else, just me. I know deep down I am a good person. But
still need to mature grow up. To face my feelings and deal with them. Understand what makes me tick and then make good. My
childhood, every thing that happened was very sad and bad. But if I deny any part of it I deny myself. I know today I am
learning to trust strangers. I do expect the worst from any one. Fear does not run my life. The weather will not determine if I
am going to have a bad or good day but how I feel about myself. It is our strength our wisdom shared that enables us to see
and feel an end to all the pain and fear we used to live in. I have lost close people and see that what we shared was a blessing.
I appreciate the gains instead of dwelling on the losses. The pain heals, the good memories fill our soul. And closure comes to
us all if we choose it. I prefer to live in appreciation instead of regrets. My mother bless her soul has grown to love me and not
fear me. There is limits as to how far she is able to go. That is her choice. Serenity allows me to accept that fact. Not what I
like. But acceptance helps. The thing is our love has been shared and we both have moved on from where we both were. Some
times she think in regrets, but soon enough she accepts serenity. Surrender is a sign of strength. It is has not always been that
way for me. But now it is. I love to love. I choose not to hate. Forgiveness leads to peace with in. I am able to feel today and
deal with it. As the wall crumbles life opens up before me. No excuses today my friends. Just one day at a time. Love to you all

From: Uk For Now!
Last Day Gambled: 1992 August

Marie Thursday, 3/27/03, 4:28 PM

Saying prayers for you Jaybird & Patty, and also for your family. So sorry for your loss.~~~~Marie
From: Rhode Island
Last Day Gambled: 02/08/03

Thursday, 3/27/03, 3:40 PM

(((((WAYNE)))) hang on there buddy, I see you are trying very hard, and it is showing..good going..what a blessing today has
been, wishing everyone a great evening, and keeping on praying for all involved directly or indirectly with the
war...(((Delores))) hope you are ok..Carole

Thursday, 3/27/03, 3:33 PM

ANCIENT WORDS...Holy words long preserved for our walk in this world, they resound with God's own heart. O, let the ancient
words impart. Words of life, words of hope, give us strength, help us cope. In this word wher-e'er we roam, the ancient words
will guide us home. Ancient words..ev-er true...changing me"...and..changing you. we have come with open hearts, O let the
ancient words impart! Holy words of our faith handed down to the age, came to us thru sacrifice. O, heed the faithful words of
Christ. Holy words..long preserved..for our walk this world, they resound with God's own heart. O, let the ancient words
impart...Ancient words..ev-er true...changing me..and.. changing you...We have come with open hearts, O let the ancient
words impart! sharing..ysir, love Joni B

Renee C. Thursday, 3/27/03, 3:23 PM

Just wanted to say to Jaybird & Patty. I will be thinking of you both as well as your family members. I remember all to well
leaving my mom's house on Sunday evening and returning Monday morning to discover she was gone. We can never prepare
for these things. All my love and (((hugs))) Renee

From: Las Vegas
Last Day Gambled: 12-4-02

Sylvia B Thursday, 3/27/03, 2:55 PM
Dear fellow compulsive gamblers, I'd like to share a step 11 Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious
contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His lwill for us and the power to carry that
out............................................Yester day when I entered the church bldg. where the GA 1 yr pinning was,,, I was feeling
sad because of a 'situation' in my life. As Doug the pinee came forward to greet me in the hall, I heard the congregation in the
nearby chapel singing "Amazing Grace" a song familiar to many 12 step grp members and a favorite of mine . We stood and
listened til it was over and I felt comforted by God's presence. This morning, as part of my meditation and prayer I called a
prayer message of meditations by my former minister who is deceased,the subject was;"Amazing Grace, the hymn". Once more
I felt more conscious contact. Still later, I picked up a favorite magazine for the word for the day. Are you surprised the word
was Grace with an accompanying message. The key for me is "sought" because if I hadn't looked I wouldn't have seen it . Once
again, I feel reassured that His Will is at work in my life. I am so grateful for the 12 Steps of Gamblers Anonymous. As I wrote
this a call came in from a GA member . I'll go now and ' try to carry this message'. Thanks for listening. YFIR SylviaB

From: Mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02

Charlie P Thursday, 3/27/03, 2:24 PM

Charlie P here an RCG. Glad to be getting back into a semblance of a recovery program again. Regular f2f meetings and a
speaker meeting last week. The tools are there for me. I just have to use them one day at a time...HP rooting for me
too.....Jaybird and Patty, so sorry to hear about the death in your family. Our prayers are with you and your
families.....Welcome newcomers and congrats to the milestones...Gotta love it here. YBIR Charlie P

From: Live in Mississippi
Last Day Gambled: 2/23/03

Amber Thursday, 3/27/03, 2:24 PM

(((((((Jaybird and Patty)))))))) thoughts and prayers are with you both.....ysir Amber

Last Day Gambled: the last day of my old life
Genek Thursday, 3/27/03, 2:20 PM

Hi all;Gene here a compulsive gambler,striving one step and ODAAT to resume my journey to recovery despite my recent
slips.~~~~ (Patty and Jaybird), my prayers are with you both on your recent loss..Having experienced the loss of both my
mother and father,many years ago,be reassured that Patty's father is in the loving hands of his God,his HP.
~~~Congratrulations to all celebrating a mile stone today-you are all an inspiration for those of us following your example of
ES&H.~~~ I want to offer a prayer for the safety of our armed forces and those of our allies who have so bravely joined us to
bring peace and hope for those who are repressed by their leaders.I am aware that subjects other than our personal battles
with CG ,may not be welcomed.But sincerely believe that for us to continue to live our lives,as RCG, may be threatened i n the
coming months if we do not put as much effort into combatting terrorism as we have to combatting the BEAST of
CG.~~~~~Ok, Gene, step down from your soapbox.~~~~For myself as I revisit the 12 Steps,and work the steps ,have to
thank all of you for your support..Especially Carole,Audrey, Joni, Val, Jay,Marym,Kathyk,hey senior moments here- so thanks to
all who have offered the encouragement that I needed to conquer the BEAST of CG.- (((Sashas List))) Love Genek

From: NJ
Last Day Gambled: 3-09-03

Jim A. Thursday, 3/27/03, 2:09 PM

(((((((((((((Jaybird and Patty))))))))))))) My condolences and prayers are with you at this very difficult time. ~~~ Peace.

From: Davison (City of Flags), Michigan
Last Day Gambled: January 23, 1996

Deb D. Thursday, 3/27/03, 2:06 PM

Just popping back in and want to say the posts today have been so sharing. Well the computer still isn't working right, which
means extra work for me but I guess thats ok...still stacking boxes getting ready for our move but I guess thats ok too...I
really am excited about the whole thing...hubby was offered a full time position here at the apartment complex, of course he
excepted it with open arms...I'd be lying if I was to say that the last 6-8 months haven't been rough but I faced each day
knowing that life is laid out in God's plan not mine. Sure there were times I got down and depressed but never once lost my
faith in my HP...thats first on my list these thanks for what is and not dwelling or what is not. As our dear Joni
says to me..."keeping the faith here." Hey there Audrey...if you're out there listen would love to hear from you...I have a
message from Joni for you...the addy I have for you keeps comin' back. Anyway...I think I hear a box calling my
name...hahaha. Smiles, hugs and prayers to all. YSIR, Deb D.

From: Denver, Colorado
Last Day Gambled: 4/14/01

Thursday, 3/27/03, 1:51 PM

lost rest of my ending my windy share.. theirs always going to be bumps..this is one..and lessons and new ideas of
what to to handle them..and thats the beautiful part of this Program..its here to teach me just how to do that..grateful
very..having abit of trouble with my its getting very windy outside..predicting one last snow storm..eewww..but
frig is full..and have my new plates on my a comfy safe counting my blessings..please join me..k.. Gods
blessings to each of you this day...this life is a Gift. and .after a wee nap..this gal will get going again..again..for the next
step..forward..join me.k.. love you Precious people..All worth is:):) as our Rich says..I will be long as the the
creek dont rise..and this computer doesn't crash:) love you people..offff for a wee nap....refreshes the mind Ive learned:)God
take care of our precious troops. ysir, love Joni B.

marym Thursday, 3/27/03, 1:28 PM


marym Thursday, 3/27/03, 1:06 PM

Good gamble free day dear family, Mary hre CG, but by the grace of God I am so much more than that
today*******************************How unique I think I am at times, then I come here and read my thoughts in
someone elses post. Certainly there is no other person exactly like me, but out stories are so similar. I find the answers to so
many questions on the HUB, that is why I keep coming back. The ability I have today to listen is a great gift. When I first
started going to meetings it was all about what I was going to say if I was asked to share, and if I was not asked to share, I
would get upset, because I thought what I had to share was of great importance. Over the years I had to get humble and listen
to the great wisdom found in the rooms. If I am asked to share today it may be because God feels I have something to say. I
think this stems from my childhood when nothing I said seemed to be of any importance to anyone, I was shouted down by my
siblings when I had an opinion. Maybe what I said was a lot of rubbish, but to me it was the way I felt. I know at times I
pushed my opinion on people and I know when that happens to me I become immediately defensive. I have the ability today to
rally listen to what people say and draw my conclusions from what I really hear, not what I think I hear. My husband was
always down on me for taking the first few words of a sentence and interpreting the rest from those few words, a lot of the
time I got things completely wrong. I thank God that today I can listen to the whole sentence and make my conclusions from
there. It has caused me a lot of problems, mouthing off before I have the full facts. I said things that I regreted later, but once
they were said it was very hard for me to say sorry. I have the freedom today to LISTEN. I guess I am growing up at
last.****************************CONGRATULATIONS!!!! To all those celebrating a milestone today, YAHOOOOOO clap
clap clap. Celebrate, for YOU are soooo worth it. ((((JAYBIRD & PATTY)))) my prayers and thoughts are with you on your sad
loss. Sending love and great big bear (((((((HUGS))))))) to all on (((SASHA'S))) list and to our troops and anyone suffering with
this debilitating disease, who has not SURRENDERED, may YOU find peace and serenity, it is there waiting for anyone who
wants to join us all on this amazing journey. I may not do this programme perfectly, but I try my best just ODAAT and for me,
it works. YSIR Down Under, Mary.

From: Sydney Australia
Last Day Gambled: 20th July 1999

Joni B Thursday, 3/27/03, 12:42 PM

Hugs you precious people..a cg..reality..and today I'm soo Grateful that I'm not gambling..Reading your Heartprints..brought a
tear Sis Vick..bless I know how many of you have touched this gals heart the past years: thankyou!!...just got back abit
ago..from having my little Teddy at the Vet.he was not feeling well the past day..and last nite.very lethargic..not eating..not
able to climb up on things...had one arm around him..and an eye open alnight on him....took him in..they did a blood work..and
couldn't find anything outside to be causing his illness..I needed to take him in.this morning..hes my buddy..smiles...and will
find out soon what may be wrong..they sent some anti-biotic home with the mean time..Rex came after his class..and
the 3 of us sat and visited from the Heart...Ricks visit to the agency was fruitless...10min..and told him they would call if
something came about.Nothing from the State Agency work living is very tight..and as hard as that reality
is to accept..because moms just want to fix everything or try to..Sometimes ya just cant help..and that stress can be
harder.....we've decided it would be best for Rick and Teddy to go back with Rex for a bit.bless them ..Rex is getting help.and
disablity from he doesnt have the added expenses..and can maybe help Rick abit more git going...maybe find him a car
too along the far as my Teddy...will find out this afternoon when they call.and have records transfered to the Vet near
there for treatment if needed...Cost me bunch to have his blood work done. but so glad I did...and were hoping he's not having
kidney or liver problems..but Rex will see that he gets the care he needs there.He cares..and I trust him..bless him..I am
accepting what is and and grateful that this is an option:)my thinking some time ago..that there would be a place for them to
go too..if times got abit tough..soo glad their is:).It was tough seeing them leave. very...but I know tooo its best for awhile..till
I get things going for me a bit better..have been out and about looking for a parttime job to suppliment here..and sure
something will come up:) Being patient for me..with Gods Plan for me..well..I keep trusting in that,and just have to help him
out abit footwork:).just have to keep letting him guide me too..and I will:).My employer is blessed to be
have work there now..with soo many places laying off..or closing....bless them for being so supportive and giving me the time
to seek what I need to...bless their Hearts..Life is like that though..their are just going to be test ya..get those
emotions we know all too well..those emotions can really put you in a whirl..thing ..I'm learning its good..
so good to get feelings out..excaping is just that.not a fixer.but to take the time to..let them them..really feel
them.get quiet with my HP(GOD) listen.really listen..let him help me sort what needs to be do something positive
with them:) Decided to take another Day of my Vacation off tomorrow too..visit afew of my old employers, see if theirs maybe
alittle work I can do for them...As everyone so knows Ive been blessed to have lived her almost a year now..but the rent here
too keeps going up and am opening up my mind..if I dont find another parttime to few other possiblities...and know all will be long as I keep my Faith..which I so have..and use the tools this program has given me to be open,honesty and Willing
to do what it takes..because my Recovery is A Gift and Blessing.and Im so Grateful to even be here:) very...I am soo Blessed
be part of a Program that accepts me for me.the unending care and support...and is continually teaching me about living life on
lifes terms..theirs answers to each bump..thei

From: Nebr.
Last Day Gambled: 7/08/00 Grateful

Thursday, 3/27/03, 11:10 AM

Heartprints" Whatever our hands touch--- We leave fingerprints! On the walls, on furniture, On doorknobs, dishes, books, As
we touch we leave our identity. O God, wherever I go today, Help me to leave heartprints! Heartprints of compassion, Of
understanding and love. Heartprints of kindness And genuine concern. May my heart touch a lonely neighbour, Or a runaway
daughter, Or an anxious mother, Or, perhaps, a dear friend! Lord, send me out today To leave heartprints. And if someone
should say "I felt your touch," May that one sense Your love Touching through me. --(author unknown) (In Sharing, Vicki B.
Sending out a warm hug to you CGHubsters, as you have left heartprints on my soul! Just another compulsive gambler here,
grateful for living in the solution today!)
sasha Thursday, 3/27/03, 11:05 AM

((Jennifer)) Thank you for the posting. ((JAYBIRD AND PATTY)) sorry for your loss Patty. My prayers are with you and your
family. I know how it feels, I was in similar shoes five years ago. Take care and know we are thinking about you all. YSIR

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03

Delores Thursday, 3/27/03, 10:43 AM

Dear Jay & Patty, my prayers are coming your way. Take Care. Love Delores

From: Twin Cities
Last Day Gambled: 3/12/03

Kathy S. Thursday, 3/27/03, 10:25 AM

Good Thursday Morning Everyone, Kathy S. here a Very Grateful Recovering Compulsive Gambler ! .............Shares are great
from last night and this morning....Thank you all.....Patty Jay, please know that you and your family are all in my
prayers...............I especially want to thank Howie for reminding me that all I have to do is be a Living Example of the Program
of Gamblers Anonymous..........It is so funny that just yesterday I was talking to my sponsor's first sponsor and she told me the
same exact thing.........As most of you here know for the last few weeks there has been some problems here in this
area....Well, I made them MY problems........I have done some things that aren't really good for me, like Opening my BIG
Mouth, when I should have kept it SHUT.......Having to repeatedly do 10th Steps... (10.Continue to take personal inventory and
when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.)..............Then another memeber telling me yesterday..."You will get tired of
apologizing !".....DUH !...She is so right......When I quit doing the things I do, that I have to apologize for, I will then be doing
the right things........Thanks Kelley ...................Something else shared with me yesterday that helped me was, "If, when you
open your "Big Mouth",(smiles, as I put it to her) you answer with a Program answer, you will always have the right
answer.".........And people I do know this program, I just have to be reminded, to USE it in all my affairs.......... I do need to
always be a Living Example of "How the Gamblers Anonymous Program" has taught me to live.........This is how I grow..... The
Recovery Steps, The Unity Steps and The Combo book, are my guides to a better way of Thinking and Living...... Thanks for
letting me share a little of what has helped me here........with Peace and Love in Recovery, Kathy S. (

From: Slidell,La. (just outside of New Orleans)
Last Day Gambled: Oct. 15, 1996

Robert B Thursday, 3/27/03, 10:06 AM

Good Morning Hub family, When you woke up this morning you were already blessed, appreciate the blessing and live life
abuntdantly in the day, I know that I will. ((((Jaybird and Patti)))) My deepest sympathies on your loss, I recently lost my mom
and I know the pain that you feel Patti. If there was anything I could say to make it better, it would already have been said.
May God Bless you guys through this most difficult time, my prayers are with you. ((((Lu S and Carole)))) I was told a long
time ago by my sponsor that this is a selfish recovery program and that you must make your recovery come first, I did not
believe him for the longest time, but dang if he wasn't right on target, my growth began when I placed my recovery near the
top of my list. ((((Carole)))) this is YOUR recovery program and YOU need to do what ever works for you!!!!!! I went to F2F
meeting last night and it was awesome, they all are!!!!!!We had tons and tons of ES$H to share with each other. I left the
meeting walking on air as is the norm for me. ((((Howie)))) I still remember when you told me told me to put the same energy
into my recovery that I did into my gambling, And when I started doing that everything change, I was no longer to tired or sick
to make a meeting (cause if I was gambling they would not have stopped me!!!)and the meetings seemed to go to the next
level, was it the meetings or was it that I was now 100% focused on my recovery!!!!! I found this poem in the Febuary ISo
bulletin and thought that those people who do not have a meeting would enjoy it. You Dont now me Yet you know my pain You
dont know me But you sense my loss of self esteem You dont know me Yet you fight the same demons I do You dont know me
But you have visited the same hell I have seen You dont know me But seeing your recovery, I see hope for my self Maybe you
do know me Because I am you and you are me!!!!! I loved it and hope youall enjoy it, better for now, maty God Bless All of you
n your recoveries. YBIR Robert B

From: Albuquerque
Web Site:
Last Day Gambled: 11-7-2000

wayne Thursday, 3/27/03, 9:31 AM

hi my name is wayne.i am haveing good day so far but i have it on my mind and that no good.but i will make it.
From: iron mountain
Web Site:
Last Day Gambled: 3-25-03

Howie C. Thursday, 3/27/03, 9:21 AM

Dal, If you buy Gam-block (It costs $14.95), you can delete all of the gambling messages that come over the internet, and
eliminate a real pain for yourself on this issue. If you're serious about your recovery, (Which I think you are), then make it
easier for yourself. I'm told that when you do this, that there's no reversing it. I'm sure that you were unaware of it. Good luck.
P.S. Just another "tool" of our recovery.----------------Lu, you're not weak, none of us are, we're sick. Compulsive gambling is a
disease, and we are not bad people trying to become good, we are sick people, trying to get well. In my opinion, the strong
people are the ones who admit that they are powerless.---------------Madge, I believe that there are 56 meetings a week in
Southern California. To check on the exact days that you'll be there, on which meetings are available on those days, call the
I.S.O. at 213-386-8789. P.S., you'll find that the meetings are different all over, but the love and fellowship are the same.
Enjoy.---YBIR--Howie C.

From: Los Lunas, N.M.
Web Site: HCBWT
Last Day Gambled: 7/11/71

Carole Thursday, 3/27/03, 8:55 AM

ITS A NEW DAY!!! Carole here recovering compulsive gambler, and continue to share the wisdom..well, true statement,
compulsive gambling almost destroyed my life, all the posts each day, bring that home to me, and that is why I come here to
read, and pray..and ground myself...I choose to not go over and over and over those days, cause for me they are yesterday,
and today is what is important, my recovery...Tom in his post yesterday said" my outside image moved heaven and earth to be
with his father, but that he actually manipulated everything and everybody in sight to get his way"(sorry if the quote isn't spot
on...well I manipulated and cheated, and lied..and did all those things, but I just don't have the need to go over and over and
over my gross behavior, is that a bad thing...??? for me coming to the Hub, its important to show that recovery rocks, and that
there are alternatives to that past life of mine, am I in denial that it happened, hell no....but do I prefer to keep on keeping on
with positive inside work, betcha..and this is MY own personality, in no way am I saying that anyone is WRONG, I am
just a bit different...and unique, so yes, the step work HAS to happen, and recovery is a walk, and I do practice the 12 steps,
but I just need to be me for today, and drudging up my past all the time is not good for this gal...its an inside job, and I am for
sure working hard to keep it on the straight and narrow, I am aware the beast is only asleep, I keep myself aware..and I have
nothing else to say, except, wishing Jaybird and Patti my condolences..and to all reaching a milestone, super one day , one
week, one month, they all work.. (((Maryjj, TrishS, NanceS,,,,and DAL 87 days, yippeeeeeeee)))))...carpe diem, Carole...:)

From: british columbia, canada
Last Day Gambled: march 6/2002

Sylvia Thursday, 3/27/03, 8:20 AM

I have no idea why the post was repeated. Actually, the words are : CONTINUE TO SPREAD THE WISDOM.

Sylviab Thursday, 3/27/03, 8:16 AM

Dear Lu, What a beautiful letter. Thank you. I had just taken a card out of my wallet with the words:CONTINUE TO SHARE THE
WISDOM. There are no coincidence. Your student . Sylvia B

From: Mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02

Sylviab Thursday, 3/27/03, 8:16 AM

Dear Lu, What a beautiful letter. Thank you. I had just taken a card out of my wallet with the words:CONTINUE TO SHARE THE
WISDOM. There are no coincidence. Your student . Sylvia B

From: Mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02
Sylviab Thursday, 3/27/03, 8:16 AM

Dear Lu, What a beautiful letter. Thank you. I had just taken a card out of my wallet with the words:CONTINUE TO SHARE THE
WISDOM. There are no coincidence. Your student . Sylvia B

From: Mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02

Sylviab Thursday, 3/27/03, 8:16 AM

Dear Lu, What a beautiful letter. Thank you. I had just taken a card out of my wallet with the words:CONTINUE TO SHARE THE
WISDOM. There are no coincidence. Your student . Sylvia B

From: Mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02

Sylviab Thursday, 3/27/03, 8:16 AM

Dear Lu, What a beautiful letter. Thank you. I had just taken a card out of my wallet with the words:CONTINUE TO SHARE THE
WISDOM. There are no coincidence. Your student . Sylvia B

From: Mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02

Sylviab Thursday, 3/27/03, 8:16 AM

Dear Lu, What a beautiful letter. Thank you. I had just taken a card out of my wallet with the words:CONTINUE TO SHARE THE
WISDOM. There are no coincidence. Your student . Sylvia B

From: Mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02
Sylviab Thursday, 3/27/03, 8:16 AM

Dear Lu, What a beautiful letter. Thank you. I had just taken a card out of my wallet with the words:CONTINUE TO SHARE THE
WISDOM. There are no coincidence. Your student . Sylvia B

From: Mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02

Lu S. Thursday, 3/27/03, 8:13 AM

Just wanted to add how grateful I am for the new brothers and sister who have found their way here..a great big WELCOME.
You're gonna love it in this home filled with caring, sharing, love and hope. And to my family members who have reached a
particular goal, personal milestone, or made it one minute away from the bet,,Am proud of you and YOU be proud of you too.
And just one more thing, then I'll be off to create something of this day, take a second out today please, and think of our young
men and women who are serving their country for our protection. Thanks. God Bless us, everyone..Lu

From: Mi
Last Day Gambled: 8-23-99

SylviaB Thursday, 3/27/03, 8:07 AM


From: Michigan
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02

SylviaB Thursday, 3/27/03, 8:03 AM

MADGE I am sorry the address didnt go through. it is
From: Michigan
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02

SylviaB Thursday, 3/27/03, 8:03 AM

MADGE I am sorry the address didnt go through. it is

From: Michigan
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02

Thursday, 3/27/03, 7:57 AM

(((((PATTY))))(((JAY)))in my prayers this Day dear precious friends:) love, Joni B.

Deb D. Thursday, 3/27/03, 7:56 AM

Doing my morning reading here and so saddened to hear about our dear Patty & Jaybird. My heart goes out to them in
prayer...we hubbers all feel the pain of one another...we are family. Think I'll come back later and do my post. Keep the faith
and lets do it "One Day At A Time." YSIR, Deb D.

From: Denver, Colorado
Last Day Gambled: 4/14/01

Lu S. Thursday, 3/27/03, 7:54 AM

Good Morning Precious Family, As I sit here this morning pondering what is in my heart, something Howie just said truly hit
home. He made reference to writing about "other stuff" and not helping with his recovery...once again, another bit of widom
from Howie..thanks, brother. I realized on 8-23-99 that I could no longer gamble, it was the last day at the casino, but realizing
I WAS a compulsive gambler may have come a little later in time. I took to the 12 step program GA offered as a way to stay
away from gambling. In a small town, someone is always going to know who you are and where you are. Staying away for me
was just so I wouln't get caught in yet another lie, I was so full of myself that there was no way I'd want the other members of
the group to know how weak I was. I can't really remember when it was that I began to realize the true merits of GA, isn't tha
funny. Perhaps I'm an example of "fake it till you make it", I don't know. But there came a time that it all began to make sense.
In hindsight perhaps my defining moment was the talk I had with my clery. After leaving his office my entire physical
apperance was different, not to mention my mental status and most importanly, I had begun to feel my spirit again. My religion
had always played a part in my life, but just like everything else I did at that time, it was to show others what a "good" person
I was. Slowly, I began to practice my faith, it felt good inside. Had done some things for others that nobody else knew about
but me, that absolutely thrilled me..just me because no one else knew but me. I wasn't showing off for anyone, just did what I
did because I could and wanted to. It dawned on me that perhaps this was the way I wanted to go down the recovery road
too..doing things for me, not for anyone else..having THE DESIRE to stop gambling just for me..reaching out just for me..going
to meetings just for me. Doesn't it all sound so selfish? I was brought up to think that if you did something for yourself, thought
of yourself, bought something for yourself, "it's wrong, the world doesn't revolve around what you want". How that was
drummed into my head each and everyday. Now as an adult I find that it is OK to want to feel, feel joy, happiness, saddness,
anger, serenity, peace, and all the emotions in between. It is OK to wish for. Today as a recovering
compulsive gambler I am humbled by the others who have laid this ground work for the 12 steps, I feel grateful for the
fellowship of men and women whom I have come to love in this HOUSE, my home meetings, and naturally my own personal
family and circle of friends who allow me to just be who I am..a human being doing the best I can..a work in progress. Once
again I tell you all how much each post means, lessons to be learned from all over each, expected or not. As a student
struggling with my daily life, I can use all the help I can get from where ever I can find it. Thank you all for being my teachers.
I appreciate all you have given and look forward to each day when a new lesson may be learned. Sending huggs and love all
around...I remain Your loving Sis in Recovery, Lu

From: Iron Mountain, Mi
Last Day Gambled: 8-23-99

SylviaB Thursday, 3/27/03, 7:53 AM

Dear Madge Go to the above address or simply gamblers anonymous iso , scroll down to meetings, click, go to state:California
click, go to Southern California, click . That should do it.

From: Michigan
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02
SylviaB Thursday, 3/27/03, 7:52 AM

Dear Madge Go to the above address or simply gamblers anonymous iso , scroll down to meetings, click, go to state:California
click, go to Southern California, click . That should do it.

From: Michigan
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02

Jennifer Thursday, 3/27/03, 7:44 AM

Good morning, everyone. JAYBIRD wanted me to let you all know that Patty's dad died last night of a heart attack. They're at
her parents' home now and will be there for a while. I'm sure prayers would be appreciated. :)

From: Missouri
Last Day Gambled: 3/06/03

Vicki B Thursday, 3/27/03, 6:49 AM

Good Morning, Hubsters! I am a "real" compulsive gambler; grateful to commit to a resolve to not gamble today...Just For
Today! I am so glad to be a part of this fellowship, which aids in my ability to bet free today. Congratulations to our milestones!
Welcome to the new comers here! You are not alone...we are here for you. May I suggest to get connected face-to-face at GA
meetings in your area, too! The 12 Steps and 12 Traditions offer us a new way of thinking and living. Thank-you to HP, GA, and
my recovering brothers and sisters!!! Back to work! Love, Hugs, and Prayers, Vicki B

From: MI
Last Day Gambled: 10/11/02

Madge Thursday, 3/27/03, 6:17 AM

HI I am Madge a CG taking ODAAT. These baby steps do help. I had a great gambling free day yesterday and ended the day
with a local Pastor who is taking the time to help me through the 12 steps. I have turned this over to my HP and am grateful
for the help of both of them. I will continue to go to my meetings (which I look forward to) and also working the steps. What
would we do without GA? Think about it, it's scarry. I am so grateful for this program, my sponsor and new found friends. I am
watching my grandaughter today. She is almost 6 months old and OH what a joy. I am taking a vacation to New Port Beach,
California in a couple of weeks and I was wondering if anyone out there knew of a GA meeting in the area? I don't want to miss
a meeting. So, please, I would appreciate an answer from anyone who can help me here. God bless each and everyone of you
and also our dear troops. Madge. Oops, I almost forgot, I WILL NOT GAMBLE TODAY!

From: Mi
Last Day Gambled: 2/10/03

Charlie K. Thursday, 3/27/03, 6:16 AM

Hi sisters and brothers in recovery. I'm Charlie K., a compulsive gambler. Congrats milestoners today and the rest of us for
another fabulous 24 hours!! ~~~~~~~~~~~Thanx Howie C. - regards Open AA meetings on cruises - Ann and I have both
been attending the meetings on board and we met a couple that we've really hit it off with. In fact we're having a special dinner
with them tonight to celebrate wedding anniversaries (17 years for them and 34 years and two months for us). It should be a
hoot!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I'm grateful for the fellowship of GA and the people I've met in the rooms and here on this site.
Love and ((((HUGS)))), Charlie K. []

From: Ajijic, Mexico
Last Day Gambled: March 31, 1997

Dal B. Thursday, 3/27/03, 5:30 AM

Good Morning, I'm still getting those emails of "Come play here!" It doesn't matter how many times I have emailed or
requested to be dropped from a list, they still keep coming. I'll admit, they do sometimes "Catch" my attention and sometimes
I read them. But it's always the same..Read, delete, read, delete...I guess this is a better cycle then "Read, join, play, lose and
then regret" ________________________Yes, a whole lot better. :) (((((HUGS))))) Dal (Spammed too often) B. (Oh...I think
it's 87 days today...Haven't see that since 2000 and only the second time I've come this far...I plan on continuing)

From: VAncouver, WA
Last Day Gambled: 12/31/02
SylviaB Thursday, 3/27/03, 5:16 AM

from the Velveteen Rabbit.

From: Michigan
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02

SylviaB Thursday, 3/27/03, 5:13 AM

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long
time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real." "Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit. "Sometimes," said
the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt." "Does it happen all at once, like
being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?" "It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long
time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.
Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your
joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who
don't understand (I just want to be real) Isn't that where the Steps lead us.Forgive me again, but this old schoolteacher finds
quotes a valuable tool. I think this relates to Honesty and the "greatest challenge,..a character change."

From: Michigan
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02

Dave Of Beckenham Thursday, 3/27/03, 5:12 AM

My name is Dave I am a compulsive Gambler and will be till the day I DIE! Most nights I sleep much better than used to do. I
wake up most dys filled with a passion for life itself and its challenges. I use to fear facing my days and people. I Use to fear
the telephone the post, what kind of life is that? During my addiction I lost perspective of what was important. I thought I could
buy happiness. How sad. I lost all faith and confidence in myself. I never tried much as I feared failure. Every one and thing use
to control how I felt about myself and my life. I rented head space out all the time. How can you get angry in a super market
queue? How insane? Now I am able to laugh at the most obsurb things. I acn see the funny side of most things. I knocked on
neighbours door and appolised as my nephew inconvenienced him parking is car across access road. He said I was not upset
about that. I said oh sorry about that? He laughed and went off to pub. We often laugh my neighbour and me. Yet I use to
really piss him off. Is this me really? In rent years it has all come together, all that I have learnt is now about how I feel. Each
day is appreciated not feared. Each day a new challege to improve in myself. One day my life I hope will be viewed as a
blessing and not as a curse. That my family will always fel warm to my heart. I am grateful today to be myself. Love to you all

From: Uk For Now!
Last Day Gambled: 1992 August

rich r Thursday, 3/27/03, 4:34 AM

Good morning all, rich r, compulsive person (includes gambler) checking in for my daily meds (I believe I MEDitate on recovery
by reading what you post here). ~~~ Sylvia was correct, I did enjoy myself at Doug's pinning last night. For one thing I don't
think I have ever met a recovering person who seemed as happy and serene as Doug last night. His face reminded me of the
pictures I see of the people who just won the multi-million powerball, they are just beaming, except with Doug we know that he
has found something much more valuable that money. I was touched by his friend who said he had know Doug since they were
teens. This guy was really impacted by the sharing of so many recovering people at the pinning. I got the impression that
maybe he had an addiction (not gambling) and saw the support and hope that is available in 12-step meetings. Another little
thing from last night's pinning is one of the 3, count 'em 3, newcomers was there with his mother. I spoke to him at the break
and related how my mother had set a recovery example for me by joining AA when she was 70. I hope all 3 newcomers come
back next week for the 'regular' meeting. ~~~ Before I went to the pinning last night, I attended my class on compulsive
gambling at University of Detroit - Mercy. At the break a student wanted to chat with me because he thot he 'might' have a
problem with gambling. He is 13 years 'clean and sober', however, he can't seem to stop going to the casinos in Detroit. He
shared with me how he thot casinos were dumb until he and his new wife went to one while on their honeymoon in Niagra Falls.
Can you guess what happened? He won! And, he has had that monkey on his back ever since. He said he might show up at my
home group tonight. I sure hope so. Anyway, yesterday was a neat day - especially going to and from the pinning with 2 other
members. Good luck tomorrow Matt! ~~~ I'll be back :-)

From: detroit
Web Site: relapse prevention
E-mail: richr121500@yahoo(dot)com
Last Day Gambled: 121500
Thursday, 3/27/03, 4:31 AM

The HUB would like to Congratulate All reaching another Milestone!!Mike K. 5-27-92..Tom B. 4-27-98 Phil L. 6-27-00.Unchong
K 9-27-00.Shannon U. 2-27-02 Robert P 4-27-02..Maryjj 6-27-02..Trish S 8-27-02 Nance S 9-27-02..CLAP CLAP
CLAP..ThankYOU for YOUR ES & HOPE!!!!!!!! WAY TO GO!!!!:):)

Patty Thursday, 3/27/03, 4:26 AM

`Good Day All Just dropped in to say hi and to wish everyone a happy birthday...well done..!!!. For me T-day I am goin to keep
it simple..and have a simple day..for me..i need it...Life is good T- I am going to actually enjoy this one day Hope all
goes well for all.. Thanks for listening to me.. Patty.....

From: Ireland

SylviaB Thursday, 3/27/03, 4:18 AM

From: Michigan
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02

Sue Thursday, 3/27/03, 4:14 AM

Good Morning Everyone! I was just sitting here listening to Fox News - an interview with injured Americans soldiers who are
now in a hospital in Germany - and I sat and thought about how brave these guys are, losing their arms, legs, all for us here
and I, am sitting here, counting gamble free days. It made me put in perspective how grateful I am to be part of a society
where I have choices. And unfortunately, some of those choices were not so good. For the past two years I chose gambling
over friends, family, and even taking care of myself. I know that this seems pretty philosophical and I know just as it was my
choice to gamble, it is their choice to be there fighting for our country..but it makes me wonder. What would I like to be
remembered for someday....someone who fought for my country or just a compulsive gambler who did nothing but destroyed
her own life. I am grateful, today, for my higher power giving me a second chance to start a new life. A life this is filled with
(hopefully) making better choices. It can be taken away from you in a flash - why did I spend it in a casino for two years? Well
I will get off the soap box now...thanks for letting me share. I guess I was just stuck inside my head for a bit....but this too has
passed. Thanks for letting me share!!! sue

From: massachusetts
Last Day Gambled: 02/24/03

Dave Of Beckenham Thursday, 3/27/03, 2:07 AM

My name is Dave I am a compulsive Gambler and will be till the day I DIE! This morning I was asked to use my brain and not
my body. Shirley being wise again. Some one once said get the body to the meeting and the soul and feelings will follow? Right.
Use to get very little out of GA because I was not ready for it. I had not humbled myself. Some one told me our sharing is a
healthy two way street. It is so true. Enthusiasm can cause more questions than answers. Patience was never my best virtue at
all. I wanted it all in one day. I feel as I have verylittle control in my life yet panic has not set in. Acceptance is warming to the
soul. In hearing people rage I hear their pain and frustration. Yet I know it is only them selves that can set them free.
Computer is testing my steel again. Hub will allow both machines to net but they will not talk to each other, who does that
remind me of? LOL. Maybe a communication problem? I am hoping very much to go to meeting tonight as I need it. But will
make decision based on physical limitations later. How is it thinsg look so simple yet years ago they all seemed impassable.
That I used to make mountains out of mole hills. I remeber going to see bank manager to admit my sins and my addiction. I
was shaking with fear. My voice was affected went up by an octave. And yet when I came out felt so releaved. I never once
wanted to tell th truth in fear of loosing all who loved me. But I could not love them back then. But I can today. Unconditional.
Give myself freely knowing they will not hurt me or critise me. My son lives miles away yet we are closer than ever now! Shirley
was always there for me yet now I know it. I know we both want the same thing. To feel loved happy and content. Pitty about
the looks? I was making faces at baby in lift one day and he started crying. There is a first for evey thing I suppose. But Shirley
stills winds me up over it even now. Lost my confidence that time. Ladys in Allders restaurant know me by my first name which
is nice. But I always flirt and prank with them. Shirley is beyond emabarressment now. They give ma as good as they get for
sure. Life is on hold now till I am up to being able to do things I know. But enthusasm some times wants ot take hold. Hard
being mature some times. Closure will come just need to be patient for a while longer. Well another day to get order sorted out
of the chaos. Love to you all. Dave.

From: Uk For Now!
Last Day Gambled: 1992 August
Hub Posts Friday 3/28/03
Lloyd T. Friday, 3/28/03, 10:02 PM

GOod night hubbers. Keeping it simple tonight I just want to thank this community. Tonight at our meeting I got reinforcement
that the ONLY ones who 'truly' understand me is another CG. Yes, this a worldwide forum, but I give special thanks to all the
folks from Mich. RichR, JimA, VickiB, SylviB, JohnH, LuS, Wayne, MattW, Madge...there are so many of you that have touched
me either directly or indirectly. Michiganians, Michiganders, UPers, Spartans,'re all oaky with me. And LeahF,
if you're 'lurking' out there, thanks to you too. The last couple days I've really taken to KathyS' words, " answer with a
Program answer, you will always have the right answer." Oh, how I trust in the program but choose to resist using the tools.
Thanks for giving me the courage to post. Yet another lightbulb moment and I'll close may day with that. I'll be back. LloydT

From: Kalamazoo, MI
Last Day Gambled: 12.04.01 (and not today!)

sasha Friday, 3/28/03, 9:52 PM

(((WAYNE))) you hang in there buddy....we are all in the same boat and I am SO PROUD OF YOU!! you have come a long
way...I know it has been hard, but each time you send a new post, it becomes more positive and filled with true GRIT and

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03

Continued Sasha Friday, 3/28/03, 9:46 PM

still missing dad (he passed away five years ago) I feel so much strength, confidence, love, excitement,humbleness, grateful
and love the life I have. I still continue to grow on a daily basis...I reach out and look toward the world for excitement and
expanding my mind. Therefore I feel so serene, I feel so much peace in my heart and mind and I am grateful for this time in
my life!! YAHOOO!! hehehehe. Strenght, peace and love to you all...ysir melissa
Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03

sasha Friday, 3/28/03, 9:41 PM

HELLO HUB FAMILY: Thanks for the great posts today.THis is my first time on today because I have been so busy. Today is
truly a BLESSED DAY!!! My last day of work will be on April 4th. Will be transitioning all my accounts over to another person on
Monday and will have my exit meeting on Friday. HMM, yes, I have postponed my holiday for on April 1- 4 to May 19-28. Why
is this such a Blessed Day for me? Because I am HAPPY and CONTENT. My VP and I had a great meeting and I have been given
notice. Am I surprsied? NAAAAAAAWWWWWWW Not at all. This should have happened last year when 2/3 of my team was let
go. I am SO grateful I made the choices and the decisions I made four months ago. I would like to share them. When I made
some mistakes with my Amex and Optima Cards...not paying them...I was hit with roughly $19,300 bill that needed to be paid
within a month or two. But to back up a bit, when the new management team came in they wanted to change
of those changes was my comp plan. I was making 10% on all sales (mind you I worked hard for that). Well, I had a major
contract signed off...biggest in my company, but not in the millions...only in the 100k's. SOO the new management team said I
had a choice...keep this under the old plan and go to 0 in my quota..or go to the new plan and get 2% and I would keep what I
sold in my quota....They eluded to the point that this amount would meet my qouta and I would not be let go. If I had agreed
to the new plan, I would have lost 8% of commission, which was a lot of money!!! HMMM, I told them I opted for the old plan. I
wasnt about to give up that money I worked so hard for and I opted for a 0 quota. Well, at the time I made this decision, I did
not know that within the month I would be hit with the 19K bill to be paid immediately. YOU KNOW THERE IS SOMEONE OR
SOMETHING OUT THERE LOOKING OVER ME (HP) AS WELL AS MY DAD. I had to borrow some money, 7K, from my best friend
(never did that in my life and was humiliated) and made whatever payments I could..but I had to pay the balance in Jan.
WELLLLL, I recieved the commission in Jan and paid off the full balance of the 19K. And last week I sent my best friend 3300
toward the 7k and will pay the balance next month!!!! ALL DONE and I will still have a great nest egg. WELL, the POINT IS VP told me today, that even if I had opted for the 2% comp plan and had my quota I would have still been out!!!!
SO I thank my HP and dad for the decision I made over four months ago!!! For where would I have been or what would I have
done if I couldnt pay the 19k and my best freind his 7k? And on top of that being put out of my position? IN DEEP
DEPRESSION!!! Do I say I am lucky? NO!!!! I SAY I AM BLESSED. I am SO BLESSED TODAY and have spent a great day with
friends and family!!!! I am blessed because I did get rid of 19k of bills and do not have to stress because I can manage the bills
for 12 - 18 months without a job. I AM BLESSED my VP gave me the walking papers. WHEW!!! YOU ALL may think I am crazy,
but you dont realize what a LIFT off my mind and health this has been for me. Although my trip is postponed to May....I will
now be visiting my best friend/God son and family in Maryland..they will be there at the same time I am in Philly with my bf....I
will attend my God Son's Baptism and we will be doing what ever needs to be done for the GOD Mother ceremony??? My best
friend is SO HAPPY about that...I AM TOO. Thus, as I look over the past six months...paying off the big boo boo I made, paying
my friend back, accepting I am a CG, coming to this HUB, going to f2f meetings, talking with some friends from this HUB on the
phone, deciding to get paid my 10% on commission, becoming a GOD MOTHER and welcoming my little GOD SON into this
world, really connecting with my MOM, Still missing

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03

wayne Friday, 3/28/03, 9:36 PM

hi my name is was good day because i didnot gamble.i am hanging in there but it not easy.have great night.hugg

From: iron mountain
Web Site:
Last Day Gambled: 3-25-03

Amber Friday, 3/28/03, 8:29 PM

((((((Cindy)))))....WAHOOOOO!...Congratulations my friend on 5 months!.....ysir Amber

Last Day Gambled: the last day of my old life

Friday, 3/28/03, 8:24 PM

Hugs everyone..anyone want to share the chattroom...Debbie you still there? ysir, love Joni's 10:30 central

Genek Friday, 3/28/03, 8:23 PM

Hi Debbie, Just another CG from NJ,but would like to give you support to conquer the Beast of compulsive gambling. You have
come to the place where you will receive so much Encouragemnt and help.Email me if you want,I am here. Love Genek

From: New Jersey
Last Day Gambled: Mar-09-03

Joni B Friday, 3/28/03, 8:17 PM

Hugs Precious Friends..a cg..Grateful for this Recovery Day.((DELORES))my prayers are with You and your family..
(((Rella))).how proud I am of Your Son..of all the sons, daughters, brothers, fathers..who are there to bring peace and make
our world a safer place..God embrace them..and let them know our Hearts and Prayers are with them. and Gods speed in
bringing peace and calm to are world..just got home abit ago from the end of the month speaker and potluck gathering at the
House of Hope..Our Speaker Andrea..shared her heart.her message.her story..and we all felt right with her..her hubby was
there to listen..its an open, gamonon, friends, family..was a wonderful group...and you could feel the love and
caring and friendships there:)..a new gal came..asking if she was in the right place..for a ga meeting..I went over to welcome
her. and said..yes,your in the right place..and hugged her..and explained about our once a month gathering..she didnt bring wasnt going to eat..shared theres so much food..please do eat with us...afterwards took Shirle home..and we visited
abit..then shared that I was bit tired from the long day..and asked her to call me after her group session tomorrow...a full
day..a Good Day for me..and Im Grateful..Thankyou God for this Day....Gods blessings (((SASHAS LIST)))just love
you..awwwwwe..what a wonderful thing to be growing together:) hoping to see some of you at the Saturday Morning Gathering
of Hearts:) ysir, love Joni B

From: Nebr
Last Day Gambled: 7/08/00 Grateful

Cindy D Friday, 3/28/03, 8:09 PM

Evening all, feeling gratitude here in Kansas tonight. Miracles have happened in my life since seeking recovery 5 months ago
today (on my knees, begging for mercy or death.) I am sitting in a office all my own, built by my loving, handy, hubby.
Embarking on a new career that wouldn't be possible without several angels in my life. Yep.... Gratitude...Blessed...... and Filled
with Hope. ------Delores----- my thoughts and prayers to you and your family. {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}} -----Jaybird and
Patty-----missing you and hope that God is holding you both up. ----Debbie F----- hang in there, you have arrived at a place of
hope, love and experience that is yours for the taking. Welcome. Congrats to all the milestoners for today and welcome to all
the newcomers. Wishing you all a peaceful, serenity filled evening. YSIR, Cindy D.

From: Kansas-Land of OZ
Last Day Gambled: 10/28/02

debbie F Friday, 3/28/03, 7:51 PM

I`ve tried GA meetings and private counselling and praying and I truly dont know what to do.I`m on a downward spiral and
I`m afraid how this will end -I stumbled upon this site and I`m going to try the online chat rooms -that might be easier for me
I have a son and I need to be a better mom- I`m not abusive or even neglectful but I`ll spend my last dollar in a casino and
then feel like scum when I can`t take my poor child to McDonalds or even rent a movie. Something has to give- I`ve been
fighting this disease for over 20 yrs- I`ve given this vice almost half my life and I want my life back- hopefully I`ll find it here
or at least the tools to get my life back.

From: New Jersey
Last Day Gambled: today 3/28/03

Dave Of Beckenham Friday, 3/28/03, 7:47 PM

My name is Dave I am a compulsive Gambler and will be till the day I DIE! In my addiction I did not know what I was missing.
Because my conscience and my soul were both weak it did not stop me feeling bad about myself. And in doing so did not feel I
deserved to be loved by the ones I had cheated and hurt so much. But once we stop isolating and over come that emotional
loneliness, we start to feel a part of our families. Even more so once we forgive ourselves in teh knownedge we are not evil but
sick. Once we share we start appreciate what is precious in our life. Relationships start to blossom and you longer hold back
due to resentments and fear. DNA tells me I am the son of my afther and mum, but it is what we feel that makes the difference
when our parents pass on. What we share in our hearts and what we feel means they still live on in our hearts. As time passes
you learn that they were not equipped and did not know how to love us as much as we needed. But in those very small actions
they did for us, they mean more than words. If we share ourselves for what ever time it is a blessing. To be able to cry at
movies and laugh from the heart means I no longer hide from my feelings. To smile and mean it. To be tender and loving is
lessons well worth learning. Shirley is more to me today than she ever did. I appreciate her loving me unconditional. I admire
her strength and tolerence in putting up with me. Could I have taken such bad treatment and still loved some one. I do not
think so. The twinkle in her eye gleams. Her wicked little girl comes out to torment me some times and we both laugh at the
pranks we play on each other from to time. Her heart is bigger than I could have imagined. Today Saturday we intend to buy
her leaving do watch. One that has dual time and looks good enough for her to wear with pride. Computer tests me each day,
so I should worry about that? If that is all I have to worry about I am a lucky man? LOL Love to you all. Dave

From: Uk For Now!
Last Day Gambled: 1992 August

Kathy K Friday, 3/28/03, 7:18 PM

(((DELORES)))Sending you love and my deepest sympathies. (((TNA))) That was the one of the most touching and beautiful
post's I have ever read, Thank you for sharing it. Hugs! (((SASHA'S LIST))) Wishing you a beautiful tomorrow. Love, Kathy K

From: New Jersey
Web Site: The Last Bet
Last Day Gambled: The last day of my old life

Sunshine Friday, 3/28/03, 6:58 PM

May have been gloomy here today, but this 'sunshine' was shining. So grateful for every day that I am given. I make the most
of each day. For today is today and I will not gamble if just for today. ((Delores)) have added you and your family to my
prayers. Thanks all for the upbeat posts. They so help me to keep 'shining'. As I think back to where I was and to where I am
now, WOW, what a difference. More confident in myself and in life for I know that I will conquor this beast and arrest it. I will
live with this everyday of my life, I know, but knowing also that there are such wonderful people that share strength with each
other helps to hold us together. One big wonderful family. YSIR Huggggggss

From: Minnesota

Anna Friday, 3/28/03, 6:40 PM

((((Gene))))((((Madge))))(((((Carole)))) ((((sasha))))((((sasha's list))))wow recovery looks good on us huh:) love you all!!!
Sasha .... really really really appreciate your list g/f and you!!! TY and congratulations on your 60 days right? f2f party you
deserve awesome celebrations..
Last Day Gambled: 12/2/02

Anna Friday, 3/28/03, 6:37 PM

((((Delores)))I too am so sorry for your loss and all that you are going through right now. So wish at times like this the HUB
would become Live and we would all be in the same room together giving those much needed real life hugs. (tna) Oh my, such
an awesome share about your dad and the cake, yes, god/hp do work in mysterious ways thank you sooo much for sharing
something so very special ((((Wayne)))) Wow, you are getting stronger in this recovery I can see it in your posts, keep it up
keep posting, keep sharing no matter where, when or how we are always here ok? ((All))Hugs, strength an hope for a good
weekend. Anna

Last Day Gambled: 12/2/02

Tna Friday, 3/28/03, 6:09 PM

Why I believe in spirits: My father was diagnosed with lung and throat cancer a few months before my birthday in 1998.He
loved baking cakes and asked me a few weeks before my birthday what kind of cake would I like for my birthday.I replied I
would love a pineapple upside down cake.(He made the best cakes).So when my birthday came he had fallen very ill.There was
a hurricane evacuation order in effect for his county so he was forced to evacuate his mobile home.He was hospitalized over
that weekend.He regained his strength enough and was able to stay with my mother and I at our home while under the care of
hospice(ANGELS IN THE FLESH HOSPICE WAS).So he kept saying every day he was going to make my pineapple-upside down
cake the next day,He was sure he'd feel better.Sadly each day he only got worse.Christmas and New Years came and
went.Daily he would say when he could he was gonna make my cake.Well my dad died on Jan 8th 1999.Not more than an hour
later a neighbor I barely knew who winters here in Florida comes walking across the street with of all things...a warm pineapple
upside down cake.While I never had closure with other issues with my dad.I know now he loved me so much and he was okay
when I got "his message" .I finally got my cake!Its so hard to lose a parent.But know they are always watching you and are
with you.Their love lingers on.My thoughts and prayers to those of you suffering that loss now.

Last Day Gambled: 3/23/03

Madge Friday, 3/28/03, 3:29 PM
Madge here a CG taking it ODAAT. Even though the weather is poopy, I feel great. I did not gamble today for one big reason,
that being, I do not want to fail myself. I had a call from my sponsor (what a dear) and that is always very uplifting. It is so
easy to relate to anyone in this recovery program. I have a busy day tomorrow with family and in the evening it's going to be
dinner and a show with a dear friend of mine. I haven't gotten together with her in a while. I used to gamble with her alot and
when I told her about going to GA she was very supportive. We have agreed to never bring up the casino. She has refrained
from the casino too. I hope all of you have a great gambling free day . God bless all of you and our dear troops too.

From: Mi
Last Day Gambled: 2/10/03

Genek Friday, 3/28/03, 3:01 PM

Hi all, So many great, heartfelt posts today.would like to mention all names,but would surely forget a few. (Delores)My prayers
for your family,s loss of a loved one.~~~~~Just slowly, one step and ODAAT this grateful CG striving for recovery.Am thankful
for having no urges to revisit the BEAST.A ((((Sashas List)))for all hubbers. Love, Genek

From: NJ
Last Day Gambled: 3-09-03

wayne Friday, 3/28/03, 1:29 PM

my name is wayne.i am nervouse but doing good.i haveing good day.i going to work now.everybody hang in there because i

From: iron mountain
Web Site:
Last Day Gambled: 3-25-03

Jay L. Friday, 3/28/03, 1:26 PM
Good afternoon, everyone. Just checking in with a lot of gratitude for a life that doesn't include gambling or booze. I never
understood all these years that the gambling and drinking were the root causes of all my problems as I thought that I needed
and deserved to have these things in my life due to the fact that my life was so sad and empty. I'm so grateful for such a full
life today that's filled with so many different kinds of opportunities for success and growth in just about every area of my life. A
very happy birthday to Sheila and I so hope that you've enjoyed your birthday celebrations throughout the week, only to be
capped off with an amazing dinner at your favourite Mexican restaurant. Life just gets better and better without the bet, it
really does!!!

From: Arizona
Last Day Gambled: November 5, 2000.

Rella Friday, 3/28/03, 12:35 PM

Thanks for all your kind words of encouragement and prayers.. I know they are heard. Have a wonderful guilt and gamble free
Friday. Lots of (((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))). Peace and love, Rella

From: WA
Web Site: rella
Last Day Gambled: Feb 25, 03

Friday, 3/28/03, 12:12 PM

((Delores))) so sorry for your loss, age is irrelevant when it comes to loss:( (((Barb))) like Anna, good for you in sharing, this is
the most awesome place to put down your thoughts, someone may identify..or just knowing you are sharing halves the
problem..just home for a minute, and have to see how my Hub family is doing, now I am off to walk, beautiful out there,
whatever is going on with whomever is reading this, like my sister Paula always says BE BLESSED..Carole

Anna Friday, 3/28/03, 11:58 AM

((((Barb)))Hang in there g/f odaat. good for you for posting and sharing. you are so not alone. Choir sounds awesome. Do you
practice at home? Maybe you could go somewhere and turn up the music?

Last Day Gambled: 12/2/02

Barb Friday, 3/28/03, 9:25 AM

Hi everybody, Barb here still working on recovery ODAAT. Been having a tough couple days, have wanted to just give in to my
addiction. I just feel like I am fighting an up hill battle. I want so many things to change and I know I have to change, but I just
feel like I am doing all the changing around here and no one else is trying. My faith has is strong, so I don't intend to give in.
My SO was a gamble too, we both use to go out together and dwe drank together. He got very sick in 99 and almost died from
bleeding internally and the DR told him to quite drinking and taking aspirins etc, etc. Well he did and he expected me to do it
too. I continued and ended up going to GA as I knew I needed help. I always loved going to meetings, but a time would come
when he would say I am going to miss you tonight do you really have to go and I would stay home and then I would end up
back out. He is starting to do that again. He is very insecure and unable to talk of his faults, but he sure can take others
peoples inventory for them. My mother also lives with us(she has been here for 10 years) and he is still pissed off that she is
here. He can be so mean sometimes and I have told him get over it she has nowhere else to live. Then there is my mom who is
mean to him, she will do anything for me, but God help is he asks her to do something. No one is telling her what to do. I JUST
WANT SOME PEACE!!!! Thank God for GA, the Choir and you all. I have no one else to talk to about this stuff. I know that there
are people out amongst us who are suffering with worse things then I have, but I break too. My f2f meeting on Wednesday
mornings does not have alot of women in it and the meeting I do attend on Mondays sometimes are all cold to me because of
the falling out I had with this women, I thought it was between us, but I guess not. I don't expect everyone to like me, as I
don't like everyone. But I don't expect to be treated like a leper. I have apoloized so many times, I feel like that is all I do. Oh I
goota shut up I starting to sound like a baby. Congratulations to all who have reached milestones today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have a
gamble free day, as I choose too also. Keep smiling. YSIR Barb

From: Orland Park
Last Day Gambled: 12/16/02

Anna Friday, 3/28/03, 9:22 AM

((Rella))(((Jaybird & Patty)))((Joni))(((sasha's list))(Sasha)So much honesty and sharing. Life does bring us so many
challenges very difficult ones. I was in such a pitty pott for a couple of days and what is helping pull myself out are each and
everyone of you. We can make it through the hardest times together and with our HP. There are so many times when I just
want to give it all up, then I ask myself why? Who will that help? It is when we work through those difficult times that we gain
strength and understanding on why we had to go through them. I also am a control freak. I want to control the world and make
everything perfect...ha, in my own way if I try and change everything then I am changing GODS plan and then we might not
learn through those hardships. I pray for strength for each and everyone of us that we may have the strength and the vision to
work through lifes plan and the wisdom to know the reasons behind the plans.

Last Day Gambled: 12/2/02

Delores Friday, 3/28/03, 9:12 AM

Good Morning. Early this morning my husband's mother passed away. She was 95 years old, and in a nursing home. She hasn't
been mentally with us for several years. She died peacefully which is a blessing and had a wonderful life. I'm trying to find my
husband, he's on a business trip over in the UK, but was going site seeing today for the weekend in France. They've been
expecting this, so it won't be a surprise, and they are not having the funeral till late next week, to make sure everyone can be
there. I wake up every day, and it's always a new day with new things. Also, my daughter is very excited, her husband called
her this morning from Iraq....someone in the media let him use their cell phone! The are going to have his group on CNN this
weekend. But he's doing well. I'm still finding peace. Had a wonderful talk last night with a GA Friend (((DEM))).....we are so
alike in so many ways, and I can always relate to what she says...and she really listens, and points out things I'm doing right
that I don't always see. Thank you. I'm blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life. My daughter & my granddaughter
are stopping by soon, so it will be fun to see them. It's good day. I am blessed. Have a wonderful bet free day! CONGRATS to
all of those reaching milestones. YFIR Delores

From: Twin Cities, MN
Last Day Gambled: 3/12/03

Lu S. Friday, 3/28/03, 9:11 AM

TGIF Dear Family of Choice!! It is raining/snowing/blowing..and I am able to FEEL it all. Isn't that awsome! There was a time
when there had been such a major shut down that the thought of feeling anything ever again was a pipedream. As a recovering
compulsive gambler and so much more, I thank my God for giving me this day, this family, the feelings in my heart. I could
write a laundry list of gratitude, won't tho, cuz it's all in my heart and God knows. Bless you all for all the wisdom, strength and
love you share here. Thru you're heartfelt words I am able to learn..I am able to feel..I am grateful for the gifts you bring..the
gift of YOURSELVES. This site touches my soul daily. Bless each of you!!! ES&H..gotta love it! Gotta love the people with whom
we are all connected here. Many prayers going out to you all. I choose to believe in prayer, in my HP God, in all of you. Thanks
again for being here, being such a major part of my recovery. Today I'll Let Go and Let God. Wishing all a day filled with
peacefullness and serenity. ODAAT..Sending love and hugggggs all around, Lu Let us never forget our men and women and
their families who are protecting this great nation of ours..sending thanks to each and everyone!

From: Iron Mountain, Mi
Last Day Gambled: 8-23-99

Amber Friday, 3/28/03, 8:56 AM

Morning ((all))......(((Sasha))) your optimism is beautiful, I also believe where a door closes a window opens. (((Joni)))
too! Your words inspire to keep on keeping on, no matter what life may throw at you. I feel blessed to be alive again. I can see,
hear, feel, touch and breathe and it's soooo wonderful.~~~~~~~Congrats to everyone reaching a milestone today!! Every
single day is an accomplishment......ysir Amber

Last Day Gambled: the last day of my old life

Friday, 3/28/03, 8:54 AM

RECOVERY MEDITATIONS One Day at a Time March 28, 2003 ~ OTHERS ~ :~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:
"Those who have learned by experience what physical and emotional pain and anguish mean are a community all over the
world. They are united by a secret bond. One and all, they know the horrors of suffering to which mankind can be subjected.
One and all, they know the longing to be free from pain." Albert Schweitzer :~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:
"Whether we isolate or are on the go constantly, whether we're in the disease or out of it, whether we've found all the Promises
or we haven't, we are bonded for a lifetime by the disease of compulsive [gambling]. I was alone until I found other compulsive
[gamblers]. Yes, I had a family and friends and relatives and doctors and church and careers ... but I was emotionally alone
with this intricate, enigmatic, hellhole of a disease. The moment I met and connected with other compulsive [gamblers], my
"real" life began. ONE DAY AT A TIME ... I share what I have learned with those who haven't ... I give what I have to give ...
and get so much more. [In Sharing, Vicki B.; thank-you to each of you for sharing yourself and your journey here at the
Carole Friday, 3/28/03, 7:47 AM

ITS A NEW DAY!!!! Carole here compulsive gambler and much, much more than that today...Faith begins, where worry ends...I
met Jesus on my way to KNOW HIM on my way down..there are many roads on this journey, this is the title of a book I
think, must be cause its too good, and ((KathyK)) you made me blush, cause through all of the mail we shared over the
months, the 2 lost souls that we were and still matter how different our beliefs, lives are, we are connected by love,
yes, I would call it love, dear Joni held our hands, mine and yours, and guided us..and here we are, both different, all feeling
our way..Kathyk look at you, you are a great woman, and even after working all day in the took the time to set up a
site for recovery, that is not chopped liver, so there:) (((Rella)))God Bless you and your family and all involved with the war, so
brave:)(((Matt))hope you get your job(((SASHA)))I pray Friday is better, usually is..and thanks so much for your
((((LIST)))) all celebrating a milestone ((((YIPPPEE)))..I am early today, much to do...and its Friday, date night with hubby,
I pray all of you with urges that they go away and (((SUSANP))) grandmas are so special, my 88 yr. old grandma is still
alive..and I am a grandma, do you suppose we all got married way too young?? 5 generations, cool..anyway..wishing you all a
great day..and bet free...I plan on the plan..good one, forget who wrote that already,geez sorry, CARPE DIEM,

From: british columbia, canada
E-mail: carols136@rcgsite/org

Deb D. Friday, 3/28/03, 6:57 AM

Deb here and I'm a RCG and so thankful...I come to read the sharing and loving posts several times a day...sometimes I leave
with something special that adds to my personal growth, sometimes I just leave with a warm feeling in my heart...either way
I'm a winner. I have been struggling to understand and change what I was seeing as a character defeat but after reading a post
from a dear sister in this program I now am viewing it as maybe something different...I cannot express enough how important
it has become to me, to look within myself, to accept change & growth. Although today it seems I have so much to do, for the
first time in a very long time, I feel a new kind of peace. Thanks to everyone for taking the time to just never know
when something you're feeling & sharing will touch the lives of others. Sending prayers, smiles and huggers to all. YSIR, Deb D.

From: Colorado
Last Day Gambled: 4/14/01
Friday, 3/28/03, 6:56 AM

Meditation for the Day There are two things that we must have if we are going to change our way of life. One is faith, the
confidence in things unseen, the fundamental goodness and purpose in the universe. The other is obedience: that is, living
according to our faith, living each day as we believe that God wants us to live, with gratitude, humility, honesty, purity,
unselfishness, and love. Faith and obedience, these two, will give us all the strength we need to overcome sin and temptation
and to live a new and more abundant life. In sharing..Daily Thoughts that are shared with me each morning in my mail:)..ysir,
love Joni B

Collette Friday, 3/28/03, 6:40 AM

Good morning everyone. Happy to be alive today. To be able to have the wind hit my face in the morning, or listen to the radio,
and drink my coffee...ah the little things. I am actually finally feeling grateful to have the opportunity to enjoy the little
things...honestly. I have worn the "gambling goggles" for so long now...I was unable to see the beauty in many things.
((RELLA)) I was prior Air Force and my husband is in the Army and I am also a mom...and I am proud of you for raising very
brave and patriotic this time you must be brave also..we all do, my prayers are out to you and your amazing family!
Hope everyone has a good gamble free day..that is my my mom always say "Plan your work, and work your plan"
Check ya later.

From: South Dakota

Patty Friday, 3/28/03, 6:18 AM

Morning All, My prayers are with you...Jay and dad passed away just seven months after i had gone into the
programme...I think he helped me so much after that...its amazing...I used him as my H.P. and felt great comfort knowing he
was in a better place now and could help dad had gone bankrupt..from my brothers disease of Alchol...and he never
did come to terms with it...T-Day ten years later...I know my dad is watching over me every minute...and me and my dad were
best friends....It was only the G.A. and gamanon people who understood me and helped me through that terrible time in my
life..... I am off to our yearly conference in Wexford....yupeeeee can't wait to meet everyone... See you all on Monday...have a
great weekend.... Patty.....
From: Ireland

Dal B. Friday, 3/28/03, 6:14 AM

Good Morning, Disliked for a reason I won't say here. But I accept it as this was a choice I made, which they wish to change.
But, I won't. Not being mean, just "Dis-association" and it's for the better. choices I have made, some regretted, some not.
Keeping sane is better and anger is best left in the gutter. (((((HUGS))))) Dal (Not carrying a load of guilt) B.

From: Vancouver, WA
Last Day Gambled: 12/31/02

Joni B Friday, 3/28/03, 4:56 AM

GOD Morning precious Friends..a cg..Grateful to be discovering by the Grace of God much more Beautiful
sharing:) ((((CharlieP)) gotta love this Place:) Stopped in to the online meeting last nite..(((Diana))((((Amber)))) thankYOU! A
Precious ga sister is Celebrating 13 Years Today..and asked her to share her story.. (((((Liz)))))thankyou!! for Your ES &
HOPE!! and You my precious sister Have the most AWESOME DAY!!! All (((((Milestoners)))))whether Celebrating years, months,
days..what a Beautiful Gift your giving You! We take one Day..this Program and embrace all its teaching us..and its Amazing
how it flows. how you become Willing to grow.and learn..and want to grasp all the precious moments that is here..Right
Now...Amazing.. so is...For whatever trials or challenges I personally am faced with.we all are going to have them..called
Living....that place, that time of Insanity, chaos, despair, soul stealing and noncaring fantasy vivid in my mind where I
have been..tucked in the Depths of my bring remind only..of where I don't ever want to return to:) and
soo Grateful that God and this Program have has shown me that You Can Recover..odaat by opening up your Heart and letting
All those Good and Positive HP Sources in..soo Powerful that is when we allow that to happen:) to share our
Hearts, our lives, those beautiful exchanges..that keeps wanting for of IT!!:) Ooooooooh my Teddy is going to be AOKAY..the
blood came back good..hes got a infection..and with soft foods, and medication..he will be his spunky self again:) Soo far no
snow here..bit colder and windy..but my..going to be a goodie of a Day..Going out and deliver some more Resumes..also Neat too for entering Resumes too..Later this afternoon, stopping bit earlier to share with a new Sponsee at
her home, will drive us to our Monthly Speaker and potluck gathering at the House of Hope..bit quieter here..but find it peaceful
too at this time..I'm rested, my heart is full, and the footwork and steps continue..and Im so Grateful for them Today:)
(((((Sashas List))))) You people Rock!! Thankyou, as our precious Bevr shares..for being that power greater then myself
alone..sooo Works:) offfffff to make my Day..(((Hug))) you for me..k..and keep that SMILE in Your Heart.k..amazing what a
difference that makes:) Enjoy and share it..see what happens:):) love you precious people!! ysir, love Joni B

From: Nebr
Last Day Gambled: 7/08/00 Grateful

Friday, 3/28/03, 4:10 AM

Date: Fri, 28 Mar 2003 Today's thought is: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How Chastening in the
hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction! "And this, too, shall pass away." -- Abraham Lincoln Sometimes, when
we're in a dark hour, we may believe time has suddenly stopped. Forever after, we shall always have this pain or sadness or
despair. From here on, we think, this is how it's going to be - minute after minute of pain. But we need to remember time
passes quickly when we're enjoying ourselves. When we're in the midst of a negative feeling, every hour seems like two. But
this present hour will not endure. Nor the next. Sorrows pass, just as happiness does. Pain passes, just as pleasure does.
Nothing really stays the same, nothing ever stands still. All we need to do, right now, is endure this moment. It, too, shall pass.
We need to have strength, patience, faith, and a strong belief that this moment - and the feelings in this moment - will not
endure. Time passes, and so will the pain. Tonight I may need help remembering that this, too, shall pass. How can I let my
Higher Power help me? * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Today's meditation comes from the book Night Light by Amy E.
Dean copyright 1986 sharing...ysir, love Joni B

rich r Friday, 3/28/03, 4:05 AM

Good morning all, rich r, compulsive, signing in. Real sorry to hear about your loss Patty. I lost my Dad more than 20 years
ago, he was only 69. ~~~ Last night at the Redford meeting we had a newcomer (the guy from my Wednesday night
compulsive gambling class!) I sure hope he comes back. He reminded me of how hard it is to make up our minds to stop
gambling, despite all these negative consequences. It's like 'part of me' wants to (NEEDS to) stop, but another part of me
wants to keep gambling. I am so grateful that I am over that hump with gambling. (I am still facing that indecision with some
of my other adictions.) We also discussed the third step last night. I shared that my life seems to be divided into 3 segments.
As a child, I had no real connection with Higher Power (God). Perhaps that was due to growing up in an alcoholic family, I am
not sure. Then, when I went away to college, 2 things happened. I met the girl who was to become my wife (34 months and
THREE months today, Charlie K). She was very religious and that seemed to really be working for her. She was a happy and
loving person. So, I started going to church with her and have continued for the last 37 years. Another thing happened in
college, I read an article by Blaise Pascal about God. Basically he said either God exists or he doesn't, we don't know for sure.
In a way, one bets one's life on whether God exists. And when life is over you find out if you where right or wrong. With that
logic I decided to bet my life that God exists. But, it wasn't until 13 years ago, when I darkened the doors of AA, that I started
having a personal relationship with my Higher Power. He started doing for me what I could not (or WOULD not) do for myself.
The more that happened, the more I 'came to believe' that it was God, not me, doing this stuff. My life is so much better than it
was 13 years ago. I assume it will be much better again 13 years from now (if I live that long, 69) as long as I continue to trust
my higher power and not foul things up with my compulsive self-will. Thanks. ~~~ I'll be back :-)

From: detroit
E-mail: richr121500@yahoo(dot)com
Last Day Gambled: 121500

Dave Of Beckenham Friday, 3/28/03, 4:02 AM

My name is Dave I am a compulsive Gambler and will be till the day I DIE! My counsellor told me once I cannot fullfil other
peoples needs. They need to fullfil their own needs. Sounds so logical so right. When people lash out in pain and expect us to
pick up the poeces is it right. I know today I can share my experiences my strength but for people to move on they need to
take responsability for their own actions and their own feelings. It is like recovery no one can do it for us. It has to be a
conscious decision on our part. To take control for the minute of hour it is our responsability. I use to think it was easy option
to play part of victim. To burden every one around me. To give up all control in my life. Even when I was in prison I thought it
was some one elses fault. Did I enjoy that life no! Did I know any thing better NO! I have some responsability today but know
one thing I loose it all if I have that first bet. Need not worry about second or third bet it is the first I need to steer clear of.
Guilt trips are not healthy, but once we know it si happeneing, once we recognise that feeling, it is our choice to catch or reject
it. Some people resent our serenity. And in doing so try to make us feel guilty. There are pitchers and catchers. I do not want
to be pitcher or catcher. JUst had mum trying to manipualte me on telephone telling me if I do not take it easy she will smoke.
Right mum do I think what you are doing is right or healthy? Then there is that embarressing pause and she trys to justify her
actions, her threats. So on ending call I still tell her I love her but she knows the way she tries to control her 56 years old son is
not right. We both were expressive in our ways. And of course we still love each other. People in life try to blame and pass on
responsability onto us. If we allow that to happen it affects our well being, our own security, I cannot afford that today. I was
not able to go to meeting last night. Was not healthy enough. 3 weeks with out going to meeting, I am not happy with that, yet
still feel very strong emotionally. Frustration is some times my vulnerability but feel I am not giving into it. If house prices drop
it is beyond my control. I Need to do what I need to do. Not what I want to do always. Shirley has been worried about me not
being able to bounce back up at this time. Pain can be a real bummer. But in my addiction I had loads of that and come out of
it feeling better than ever did before in my life. Well I sit here knowing there are letters to write, thinsg to do which will not
cause me to over stretch myself physically. In the wisdom and sharing I know deep down inside by my willingness top open up
and share it all I am gaining strength. When I isolate I know it is all part of the illness. Communication occured for me when I
let go of fear. When I decided I had more to gain and nothing to loose by sharing. Emotionally I have moved on from my first
day in GA, that enthusiasm for life is growing the more I open my heart and my mind. I am no longer the constipated lost soul
I used to be. Life is a challenge I am willing to face today. Hiding is not an option today. Love to you all. Dave

From: Uk For Now!
Last Day Gambled: 1992 August

Friday, 3/28/03, 3:45 AM

Reflection for the Day...We must think deeply of all those sick persons still to come to Gamblers Anonymous. As they try to
make their return to faith and to life, we want them to find everything in the Program that we have found--even more, if that is
possible. no care, no vigilance, no effort to preserve the Program's constant effectiveness and spiritual strength will ever be too
great to hold us in full readiness for the day of their homecoming. How well do I respect the Steps of the Program? Today I
PRAY..God, help me carry out my part in making the group a lifeline for those who are still suffering from compulsive
gambling,in maintaining the Steps of Recovery and Unity that have made it work for me and for those who are still to come.
May the Program be a "homecoming" for those of us who share the disease of compulsive gambling. May we find common
solutions to the common problems that this disease breeds. Today I WILL Remember..To do my part. sharing..A Day at a
time..GA...THE HUB.

Susan P Friday, 3/28/03, 3:38 AM

Good morning all. I haven't written in a little while, but I have read each and every morning before I go to work. I struggled a
bit this week, as my grandmother had to go in for surgery on the other part of the island, and I love her with all my heart. She
has been there for me through thick and thin, and still manages to love me unconditionally. Thankfully, the back operation went
well, and she is recovering well. I called her last night, and she was more concerned about me, lol. She will be in hospital til
Mon, but that's ok, cuz I know she is in good hands. Even though I couldn't be there personally due to financail reasons, she
knows I am thinking of her. I had a strange day yesterday, but I managed to work through it...Yesterday was the first day in
almost 2 months that I had seen the machines, and I wasn't expecting it, and it threw me for a loop, but for the Grace of God, I
had my f2f GA meeting last night, and I managed to get through it. I am rambling this morning, I am just so grateful that I
have been given a second chance at life. Take care all, hugs to you all. Yfir, Susan
From: Canada
Last Day Gambled: Jan 29/03

Friday, 3/28/03, 3:36 AM

The HUB would like to Congratulate All those reaching another Milestone Today!!Esben J. 2-28-97 Tom D #2. 11-28-97..Renee
B. 12-28-00..Peggy P. 2-28- 02..Linda Mc 4-28-02..Dawn F 6-28-02.Suzanne B 7-28- 02..Shannon U. 11-28-02..120
Days!!Joni K 01-28- 03..60 Days!! Clap Clap Clap!! CELEBRATE "TODAY"!!!

One Day at a Time Friday, 3/28/03, 2:16 AM

Web Site: 80 days that changed the world

Hub Posts Saturday 3/29/03
Okiemaw Saturday, 3/29/03, 10:17 PM

Hi ((ALL)) Just got home from a great f2f meeting and wanted to share my feelings. It was the NA group that adopted me a
couple of months ago. Tonight we celebrated a 3 year birthday and had a great speaker. They also cheered me on for my 60
days. But what was so amazing was the speaker and his story. He has only been in the program for 14 months, but the
knowledge and faith he shared with us was so moving, so encouraging, so all consuming. I don't really know how to put it in
words. It was like he was actually glowing with the faith in his HP and the program. After listening to him, I just wanted to say
"Yep, God put me here and this is just where I'm supposed to be". On my way home I started remembering that night 2
months ago when I travelled that same road after losing myself in the casino. That night I was ready to drive my car off the
bridge so I wouldn't have to go home and face my husband. Tonight I was feeling so grateful that I have a home to go to and a
loving husband there waiting for me. It is truly fantastic how just 60 days of recovery has changed me and the way I look at
life. We are going through a rough time financially right now and my husband has been really worried and grouchy. I told him
today that it may seem that I'm not concerned about it, but in reality I am concerned enough to know that I am doing the best
I can and I've turned it over to my HP. I have faith that he will get us through this when we are supposed to get through it. I
wish I could share my serenity with him. Maybe in the future. Ha! He is still my "old poot" and I love him dearly. Warts and all!!
Ha! Oh ! Another wonderful thing about the meeting was the delicious CHOCOLATE cake !! hehehe ((Sasha)) I stole that from
you because you are so great. Sounds like you are going to have some great free time.Hugs.... (((Newcomers))) I am still one,
too, but I have got to tell you how grateful I am that I found this Hub and the 12 step program of GA. THERE IS LIFE AFTER
GAMBLING and learning how to live that life happens here!!!(((Milestoners)))You are the proof!! ((Amber)) ((Susan_P)) ((Joni))
((Emjay)) ((((Everybody Reading This)))) ...(((Jay&Patty))) (((Delores))) ((Our Brave Troops)) My gratitude and prayers go out
to all of you, especially my HP. YFIR....Diana_G

From: Oklahoma
Last Day Gambled: 1/29/03 ODAAT

Saturday, 3/29/03, 9:05 PM

Saturday, 3/29/03, 9:05 PM

Saturday, 3/29/03, 9:05 PM

Saturday, 3/29/03, 9:01 PM

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Sheila L Saturday, 3/29/03, 8:59 PM

My ego seems to be my greatest problem. "Many people haven't even a nodding acquaintance with humility as a way of life.
Much of the everyday talk we hear, and a great deal of what we read, highlights man's pride in his own achievements." Tweleve
Steps and Twelve Traditions, p.70 I have much work to do.....

From: Arizona
Last Day Gambled: March 14, 2001

Saturday, 3/29/03, 8:29 PM

Hugs Everyone...I cant get in back in the chattroom Brad if your reading this...please keep coming k..if anyone else can get in
the chattroom..please do..and share with BRAD..k..Hugs..and love Joni B.

Sasha Saturday, 3/29/03, 8:21 PM

Hello Hub Family!! Congratulations to all of you who have had milestones today!! It is a wonderful accomplishment. Welcome to
the many new hub family... ((Debbie F)) welcome...((ArnieW)) Thanks for the posting. To all, great posts and PICTURES from
the YAYA Sister club...was that ((CharlieP)) that posted to pictures? Thanks!! Well, today was a great day...Now that the
weather is getting better, I took my road bike in for a tune up. It is my baby and I paid a pretty penny for her about two years
ago. In Sacto we have a great bike trail..I use to ride 160 miles every weekend and run five miles to seven miles a day. SOO, I
will start biking next Friday!! Yahooo...bought some new riding shoes (I ride with clips instead of slip ins). There is a triatholon
on June 23...I may think about doing it, but I am loaning my ride to a friend for the race...hmmm, I can do the run and
swim...oh well. Just cant wait to see my body get back into shape. I wore biking shorts today and did not look to bad, but not
the way I use too. So I told my friend, heck I am not out to impress anyone!! BUT deep inside I was thinking---shucks, I wish I
was in shape though!! LOL. The Kings played tonight and I am happy my home team won. They are doing so well and we really
need a great home team here....they are the only team we really have. We are all hope they will go to the Championship
games. So proud of them and happy they are putting sacto on the map.Wish I could see one of their games live...but maybe
next year. Have had severl great friend call today...two of them want to hire me..hehehehe but one is in Ill and the other one is
in Ohio...ANNNNDDD I have no plans to relocate. However, it does give me a great deal to think about and how grateful I am to
have such great people in my life. Sacto is not such a great area for the kind of work I do, but San Fran and San Jose are just
down the street from me. I just want to finish out the week next week and take a well deserved break. I have six weeks of
holiday saved up and you know what that means, I have not had vacation in years!!! I am thankful that I decided to save up all
that will be great to have in my account!!! I hope everyone is doing well. Mom went to Tahoe and wanted me to come,
but I made other plans so she went on her own. She is not a CG, but I keep my eye on her because I have heard of people in
their senior years becoming CG's....just gotta keep her in check once in a while. Okay, off for the rest of the night. Strength,
Peace and love to all, YSIR Mels

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03
Daily HUGS and PRAYERS to the Hub Family, All CG'S, ALL MILITARY TROOPS and ALL Man Kind Saturday, 3/29/03, 7:54 PM

(((((AletaE, Amber, Andy-sydney, Anita A,, Ann, Anna, AnnaC, ANNA MARIE, Arnie W, Anthony from London, Audrey, Audrey J-
Miranda, Barb, Barbara- Rella, BeckyB, BevR, BONNIE, Brandy, Brenda , Brenda A, Brenda R, Brett, Cali, CHERYL, Cole,
Colleen, Carole, CarolynK, Charlie K, CharlieP, Chatcat,Christine T, Cindy D, Cindy H, CindyW, Collette, Curtis L, Dal B,
Damaris, Dan,Dark_Lady, Dave, Dboy,DC, Dean, Deb B, Deb D, Deb G, DEBBIE, DEBBIE F, Del, Delores, DEM, Denise,
DennisP, DIANA N, Dina, Don C, DON D, DonnaC, Dr. Jim, Dorothe, Doug L, Emily, Emjay,FEO, Fiddler,GAIL, GaryK, GeneK,
Gordon D. Gramers, Howie C, Jake A,Janie J, Jaybird, JayL, Jennifer, Jeannie, JERRY, Jim A, Jim K, Joanne, John H, John M,
JoniB,Josie, Jude, JUDY, Karen, Kat, Katielyn, Kathy K, Kathy S, Ken, Ken F, Kinnon, Lanie, LdyQP, Lenett, Lily , Linda C, LINDA
P, Liz, Lloyd, Lu S, Madge, Maggie,MAMAFV, Marc, Marie, Mark, Mark M, Marty, Mary, Mary J, Marym downunder, MattW, Max
H, , Melissa- sasha, Michelle, MIKEP, Miranda, MYRNA, Nance, Nancy M, NICKY, Nita, Okiemaw, PAT B, Pat L, Patty, Paula,
Pete, Pete T, Purdell, Rachel, Ramona, RandyM, Ray H, ReneeB, ReneeC, Rich_DET, Richr, Robert, Robin H, Rose, Rose- Adrian,
Sal, Sandy, SandyK, Scott, R, Skogie1999, Sharon G, SharonJ, Sheila L, Sheryl, S Jane, Sorry, SUNSHINE, Suzanne, Sue,
SusanP, Steve, Steven, SylviB, Tara, Tino (sidepocketkid), Tna- Tina, Todd, TOM C, Tom P, TomS, TOM W, Tracy, TRISH S,
Valorie, Vel M, VickiB, Vida, Wayne, Williamk, Wilma, Ymg/Ymg, Zanna, OUR LOVED ONES, ALL MILITARY TROOPS and
Humankind))))) <183>


ARNIE W Saturday, 3/29/03, 7:39 PM

The Urge to Gamble May Be All in Your Head > >HealthScout - March 26, 2003 WEDNESDAY, March 26 (HealthScoutNews) --
>If you visit a casino, odds are you're going to lose money, so how is >it that the gambling industry is flourishing? > >A new
study suggests gambling may cause changes in brain chemistry >that encourage continued gambling, even when you're losing.
> >The researchers behind the study believe that when gamblers place >bets and eagerly await the results, the act of taking a
risk may >cause a surge in the release of the neurotransmitter dopamine in the >brain. > >While the precise role of dopamine
is not fully understood, addictive >drugs such as cocaine and nicotine are known to increase dopamine >levels in the brain. And
diseases such as Parkinson's result in the >death of dopamine-producing cells, says study author Christopher >Fiorillo, a post-
doctoral fellow at Cambridge University in England. > >The study appears in the current issue of Science. > >Fiorillo and his
colleagues outfitted monkeys with electrodes to >measure the activity of neurons in the brain that produce dopamine. >Then
they put the monkeys through a simple test. Again and again, the >monkeys were shown one of five objects on a TV screen.
Each object >corresponded with some probability of getting a reward, in this case >a drop of juice. > >The probability of
getting the juice ranged from no chance to a 100 >percent chance. In mathematical terms, the probability of getting the >juice
ranged from zero to 1. > >The researchers found that when the monkeys were least certain about >getting the juice, the
neurons in the dopamine- producing portion of >their brain were the most active. > >"What was so interesting and strikingly
novel about this pattern of >firing was that it seemed to track the uncertainty," says Peter >Shizgall, a professor of psychology
and director of the Center for >Studies in Behavioral Neurobiology at Concordia University in >Montreal. He wrote an
accompanying commentary in the journal. > >The concept of uncertainty is frequently misunderstood by >non-scientists. For
instance, many people would mistakenly believe a >monkey's uncertainty would be highest when there was no chance of
>getting the juice, the researchers say. > >In probability, uncertainty is highest when the chance of something >happening is
0.5. Or, in the case of the study, when the monkeys were >shown an object that carried a 50 percent chance of leading to
juice. > >Uncertainty was low when the monkeys were sure the juice was coming >or not coming. When the monkeys were
shown those corresponding >pictures, the researchers didn't observe the spike in neural activity. > >The researchers also
observed that when uncertainty was high, >increasing the level of reward (in this case, increasing the amount >of juice
dispensed) caused a rise in the level of neuronal activity. > >While Fiorillo's research was on monkeys, he and other
researchers >believe the experiments might give some insights into human behavior, >specifically, why people would gamble
even when the odds are they >will lose. > >"There is a large amount of work that's already been done that shows >dopamine
acts in the brain to reinforce behaviors," Fiorello says. >"If a behavior is followed by an increase in dopamine, it's more >likely
to be repeated." > >Cocaine, for example, increases levels of dopamine, which is known to >be a catalyst that promotes
continued use of the drug. Experiments >have shown other activities, such as falling in love or exercise, can >also boost
dopamine levels. > >"This present work suggests

Last Day Gambled: 4/10/68

ARNIE W Saturday, 3/29/03, 7:37 PM

March 27, 2003 Compulsive gambling hyperbole Richard Vatz The battle in Annapolis over whether to approve a proposal that
would increase legalized gambling in the form of slots has become a maelstrom, fueled by a variety of issues, but none so basic
as the question of whether gambling via slot machines can lead to a psychiatric disease called pathological or compulsive
gambling. Maryland House Speaker Michael E. Busch, the leader of the opposition to slots ¿ he wants to "study" the gambling
issue for a year first ¿ is motivated, he says, by his father's "alcohol and gambling problems which devastated the family." Thus
Mr. Busch becomes the equivalent of the reformed addict ¿ in this case the son of the addict ¿ who is going to make all of
Maryland pay for his misperceptions regarding the cause of his family's problems. The frustration of arguing the proposition
that compulsive gambling is a myth is this: So many people who have become accustomed to the term "compulsive gambling"
believe that to say it is a myth is to deny there are people who destroy their lives through heavy gambling. So what is the
issue? The issue, simply put, is whether it is by conscious choice that some people devastate their lives by gambling and losing
amounts they just cannot afford. The assumption that compulsive gambling ¿ gambling over which the gambler has no control ¿
is measurable by behavioral scientists is crucial to the understanding of its mythology. There have been a variety of measures
that have purported to measure the compulsivity of gambling. Years ago there was the South Oaks Gambling Screen (sample
question: "Have people criticized your gambling?") and now, comparably, there is the Diagnostic Interview Schedule (DIS)
which is based on the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual Version IV (DSM IV). The latter
gauge has been cited to "prove" the existence of compulsive gambling, but most people do not know that it is simply a
question-and-answer test that assesses how much misery respondents have suffered through gambling. In an oft-cited study in
the Journal of Gambling Studies last year, it is explained that the DIS contains 13 items that correspond to 10 criteria for
alleged compulsive gambling. It should be noted that the DIS makes specific reference to lotteries, which Maryland already has.
Typical of such surveys this one is administered through the telephone, not a good way to infer lack of control. Endorsing 3
criteria qualifies one as a "problem gambler" and endorsing 5 criteria equals "pathological gambling." But the criteria of the
DSM-IV and the DIS do not ¿ and can not ¿ measure volition. Questions in the DIS include "Have you ever spent a lot of time
thinking about ways to get money together so you could gamble?" The only question relating to self-control is this one: "Have
you more than once tried to quit or cut down on your gambling without [sic] being able to?" How is it validated that the subject
was unable to? It is not. The DSM-IV diagnostic criteria for pathological gambling refer to the intensity of subjects' urges to win
back losses as well as the commission of crimes and anti-social acts allegedly as the result of gambling losses. Those criteria,
too, include as one criterion of self-control: the claimed inability to stop gambling. But the psychiatric manual offers no way to
measure it either. To call heavy gambling an "addiction" falsely loads the argument against slots; there is no neurochemical or
neurophysiological change causally linked to heavy gambling, only some changes that occur as the result of its excitement
(increased adrenaline, temporary rise in blood pressure, etc.). People who gamble too much and suffer significant losses ¿
whether through lotteries or slot

Last Day Gambled: 4/10/68

Debbie F. Saturday, 3/29/03, 6:52 PM

How in the world am I gonna kick ts habit when I cant even type! lol Just wanted to post my correct email address as all emails welcome!
From: NJ
Last Day Gambled: 3/28/03

Debbie F. Saturday, 3/29/03, 6:46 PM

I posted for the first time yesterday and today I received several emails of support and friendship. Thanki you- I didnt gamble
today and for that I am thankful and tomorrow if I need a bot I know where to come and several new friend I can email!
Thanks for the outpouring of support!

From: NJ
Last Day Gambled: 3/28/03

Lu S. Saturday, 3/29/03, 6:36 PM

As the sun sets on another day, I just wanted to stop in for a few minutes and wish everyone a peacefull nights sleep. I am a
compulsive gambler who has embraced recovery from this addiction. I am grateful to my HP for guiding me thru one more day
away from gambling and any urges to self destruct. It is thru His power that you all have come into my life of recovery with
such an abundance of compassion, unconditional love, and the wonderous gifts of yourselves. Each day that I come HOME, I
gain something from someone that adds something specail to my journey of recovery. There are days when step work is such
an agony, then there are the days when i can hardly wait to "hit the books", reading everything I can get my hands on
including posts here and from days gone by. I love visiting the archives site as it seems to point out how far we've all come in
one way or the other. The stories of hardships that are now resolved, financial losses that are coming back slowly but steady,
famlies that had been in severe conflict that are now embracing eachothers love. The list of folks who had come in, stayed
awhile and were gone for whatever reason, or perhaps they are still out there just reading..but it always makes me wonder how
they are now. And reading my own posts as well...YIKES! Did I really say THAT??? LOL! In anycase, this site has been a
blessing in my life and helps me to learn the lessons I need to learn in order to be a better work in progress. If we can maintain
an open mind at all cost, something good is bound to sink in in due time. To say I feel your pain sounds so superfical,and of
course I really can't feel it exactly as you do, but in my heart there but for the grace of God go I at any given moment, our
stories are that of eachother, yet my truth is mine and yours is all yours. The fact that we share it all shows me that my HP is
working as I am able to have a feeling about each truth, be it yours or mine. I pray that I never loose my ability to feel again
as it has so far been my greatest pleasure from the work I've done. Great Big Huggs to all those who have made a personal
victory in their lives be it staying ODAAT or balancing your check book (if we still have one..LOL), or learning a special lesson's all the same, YOU did the work and YOU get the rewards! CLAP CLAP CLAP...YIPEEE FOR YOU. To the new members
coming thru the door for the first time, it's my pleasure to meet you and welcome you HOME. Did you know that from now on,
you'll always have a safe place to come and you will never ever have to go thru your struggles alone...we are here for you! My
heart aches for those who have suffered recent lose of loved ones..Delores, Patty & Jay. God Bless the US TROOPS and their
famlies and friends..we're here for you as well. Send my love and support to that dear one of yours serving to keep our nation
safe. Alrighty then, guess that about sums it up for this cg with far more energy at this hour than I should have..PLEASE, I
NEED SOME SLEEP!!! where's that hammer when ya need it? God night dear ones...catch ya after church tomorrow..sending
love and hugggs all around....Lu

From: Mi
Last Day Gambled: 8-23-99

Lanie Saturday, 3/29/03, 6:33 PM

Here I am with six weeks under my belt and it truly has been just one day at a time. I'm feeling pretty good. Have spent a
good deal of time journaling, reading, praying,and meditating. Still haven't attended a f2f GA meeting but have become more
active in my food addiction group. When I was out there gambling -- even though I was not overeating I stopped using the
tools of the program and I just know that that contributed to my relapse. And, I truly have to remember that half measures
aren't going to do it -- with this disease (gambling) there is absolutely nothing that is going to work except to abstain
completely and totally. God Bless

From: Las Vegas
Last Day Gambled: 2/15/03

Charlie P Saturday, 3/29/03, 3:53 PM

I posted some pics that were sent to me of the Ya, Ya, Sister weekend in Oregon. Enjoy

From: Live in Mississippi
Web Site: Oregon Ya Ya Ladies Weekend
Genek Saturday, 3/29/03, 2:17 PM

TYPOS rule and I am an expertLOL

From: NJ

Genek Saturday, 3/29/03, 2:11 PM

Hi all, Genek here a slowly recoverng CG,,walking the "walk" one step and ODAAT. ~~~Congratulations to all(all 14) who have
reached a milestone today-Way to go-Celebrate!! ~~~~Sasha, May might be a better time for our meeting with you and
Kathy,could possibly be at my daughters,and she is only 30 minutes from Kathy.If it is meant to be,our HP s .will surely
help.~~~~Joanie, sorry I missed morning meeting- had promised a friend to drive her-she is "legally" blind, age 87,but sharp
as a tack:):)~~~~~~ So am posting here on what I am so grateful for:,hey i could fill all my alloted space::):) First, I am so
grateful for the GA hub,for my HP (God) for taking my hand and leading me here.For all the ES&H and love that I have received
from all you "hubbers"Grateful for the GA program which was the work of all the first CG who laid our path for us..Am so
graeful that our thre e grown kids have forgiven me(tho they still do not understand that CG is an illness) I also am so sure
that our oldest son who died in 1984, while a student at the NJ College of Medicine is now with his God.We were so close,as
first borns often are..And in out recent family gatherings, we all t hat Steve was there too,,with his brother and sistersHey,he
prbably would have ben the first to say NO to my gambling.:):)Have to add my gratitude for my 8 ,so loved grandkids,Also am
grateful that spring may be finally here-the Forsythias are blossomingLOL..Next, will be forever grateful for my
sponsor((LindaP)) Without her steady encouragement and instilling the faith in me,that I can succeed,might be still on the
downward spiral of CG. Hey,guess I have to thank my computer tooLOL,and all who have taught me¿before Sept. of 2000,only
mouse I knew were the ones our cat Smoky could catch:) Let us all pray for or leaders,our allies and all our so brave armed
forces .May God watch over them. Love and a (((((sashas list))))) them. Love and((( (Sashas list))) Genek

From: NJ
Last Day Gambled: 3-09-03

AletaE Saturday, 3/29/03, 9:02 AM
Goodmorning all...Aleta here, a CG grateful to be in recovery today. Had a great time with the Ya Ya's in Portland last weekend.
What an awesome bunch...(((Val, VickiB, LindaP, Audrey, NancyM, Patty, Sharon)))and (((Jay))) our honoray YaYa. Been
lurking this week and want to thank all who have posted. I never come here without learning something from all who share.
Joni, ty for the "housecleaning" post this a.m. Get stuck in my own mind and forget that it's a dangerous place for me to be
alone LOL. Still trying to be the director, but for today will remember God's will be done, not mine. (((Delores, Patty & Jay)))
may you find peace from the prayers and love coming your way. Thanks again to all Hubbers, you are truely a blessing in my
life today. May each be blessed as we travel this road of happy destiny together. YSIR.Aleta

From: Idaho
Last Day Gambled: 1/22/01

Delores Saturday, 3/29/03, 8:42 AM

Good Morning. Thank you all, for your kind words about my husband's mother passing away. The funeral will be next Friday so
that everyone can be here. So many live out of town. Last night I went to a F2F meeting, and what a surprise, my friend that
I've talked to on the phone and through email, showed up there (((DEM))), a UFO! So I was finally able to meet her! She's such
a cool lady! (((TOM S))) gave me her name to have a contact here in town! Thanks so much! This morning my Mom and I went
out to breakfast, then my daughter & granddaughters are coming over for dinner. Then more of the World Figure Skating on TV
tonight. I'm feeling pretty much going on, but I'm feeling stronger on the inside, and not so much like mush on the
inside which is good. I'm beginning to really look forward to start counseling, which is on Tuesday. I'm planning a nice relaxing
day.......and will work on spending quality time today with my family, with the help of my HP.... Have a wonderful Saturday!
YFIR Delores

From: Twin Cities, MN
Last Day Gambled: 3/12/03

Amber Saturday, 3/29/03, 8:15 AM

smiles......Hugs all!!.....Thanks Joni for wanting to celebrate my milestone early....just love your enthusiasm!!...Your so special
to me!....ysir Amber
Last Day Gambled: the last day of my old life...Dec 31,2002

Saturday, 3/29/03, 7:20 AM

OOPS I missed (((KathyC)))) 9 months, (((Joanne))) 90 days, and please if you are sitting there celebrating a milestone, please
don't stew, just let us know, because we all love to feel a part of this place, ok..and (((((WAYYYOOWAWEOO)))made that
up..Joni has me going already:)to anyone hitting ANY big day today..bye..see ya tomorrow, Carole

Carole Saturday, 3/29/03, 7:17 AM

ITS A NEW DAY!! Carole here, recovering compulsive gambler, and man am I up early this day..tooooo early, so I thought I
would come here and be with the "early birds"..GOOD DAY:)..((WELCOME DEBBIE F))) your HP has led you to a safe and
wonderful spot..hang on tight..(((WAYNE)))a man of few words, but sure can see you are getting stronger, and Lloyd, your
journaling is paying off:)(((Sasha)) great attitude, turning scars into stars:)(TNA)) beautiful story..thanks, and every day there
are signs, through someone's eyes, music, nature, even in here:)((Sue))wanting to pay the bills, made me smile, cause you are
for sure "getting it".. ((Dave)) 8 items for breakfast??LOL:) MILESTONES..oh, my, TOMC **ONE YEAR**super, duper:)
(((SUEP))) 60 days, oh how I remember those rough days, and then your return from the recovery place, YOU ARE MY HERO
TODAY, along with ((DianaG))60 days, and ((AMBER))) 90 days...God Bless you all..Joni, thanks for the Housecleaning post, as
we do with our own home, our heart has to undergo housecleaning daily to upkeep the step work, we have laboriously and
lovingly done..for me growing up as a catholic(not my church today) confession was so great..if I had a big sin to
fighting with my sister, I would confess and feel soooo good after..well, after step 4, and all the "crap" that came from
that..and the following steps...its a relief to me to be quiet and look at my day..and if I need to make amends...I do so
immediately the next anyone new reading this, the 10th doing the inventory..and I do this every night, and
have for the past 15 years..helps me focus,ok, that year of gambling..I didn't effectively follow my inventory..but got back on
track, for sure..and here I am today..gamble free, and with the getting up so dang early, I get to enjoy the beautiful birds out
there..well, better get cracking, fun things planned for this all have a good week-end, and as our Bee would say not a
WEAK-end...SEIZE THE DAY..Carole:)

From: british columbia, canada
Last Day Gambled: march 6/2002
Joni B Saturday, 3/29/03, 6:54 AM

GOD Morning Precious Friends..a gcg..Grateful to be here..sharing with you this morning and recovering with you..Another
beautiful I sat drinking my tea on my the quiet still of the morning..thought about the many things I am
so Grateful for today..with all the unrest..and unsureness in our World today..I am so Grateful we live in a Country that God is
so with us..Grateful that that America stands for Freedom...and for the many men and women that have given soo much of
themselves in history and today to preserve that..or I wouldnt be sitting on my the quiet of the morning, drinking my
tea at peace..being grateful for the blessings I do have to day:).. yep..feeling very Grateful today for what is Right Now:)..for
BEING..for being able to speak and think freely, love openingly, and know that my HP(GOD) will preserve today..this Beauty
and creation ..of his loving people..because he just loves us to pieces..He just knows .I just have trust and Faith in him...All will
be well once again.In his time..not mine:)...yep..thats just how I see it:) Ohhh I hope you will join us this Morning at the
Gathering of share.. What YOU are "GRATEFUL" for TODAY with come..I would love to hear from YOU!! BIG
HUG too..(((TOMC))1 YEAR!! Awesome!! (((KathyC)) 9 months!! ((Joanne)))) 90 Days!! (((SueP)) 60 Days.. ((DIANAG)))60
DAYS!!!:):) (((AMBER))) 90 Days!!. (((ALL))..just AWESOME!! ThankYOU!!for Sharing YOU!! Do come Join us..IN 5 MINUTES!!
ysir, love Joni B

From: Nebr
Last Day Gambled: 7/08/00 Grateful

Saturday, 3/29/03, 6:14 AM

Housecleaning "Somehow, being alone with God doesn't seem as embarrassing as facing up to another person. Until we
actually sit down and talk aloud about what we have so long hidden, our willingness to clean house is still largely theoretical.
When we are honest with another person, it confirms that we have been honest with ourselves and with God." Bill W., Twelve
Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 60 sharing.."Daily Thoughts" ysir, Joni B

Saturday, 3/29/03, 6:08 AM

Reflection for the Day..Why do people gamble compulsively? Dr. Robert Custer, a pioneer in the treatment of compulsive
gambling, believed we have four basic human needs--affection, approval, recognition, and self-confidence. When these needs
are not met, people feel inadquate and overwhelmed by life. Gambling may--for a time--appear to fill these needs. But
whatever the cause, the priniciples and Fellowship of Gamblers Anonymous have proved effective in helping thousands over
come the compulsion to gamble. Am I grateful for the insights and fellowship of Gamblers Anonymous? Today I PRAY...May God
expand my understanding of the illness of compulsive gambling through life stories shared in the safe harbor of the GA
Meetings. There, we learn the true meaning of "winning"--over the addiction to gambling and all of its life-affecting negative
effects. May God continue to show me positives that can be mine through working the Program honestly and wholeheartedly.
Today I WILL Remember.. The Program has the answers. sharing..A Day at a Time..THE HUB

Saturday, 3/29/03, 5:59 AM

The HUB would like to Congratulate ALL reaching another Milestone!!Janie J. 4-29-97..Lynne D 1-29-00 Robert I. 9-29-00..Jim
M. 5-29-01..Mike A. 7-29-01 Dave P. 9-29-01..Janet L. 11-29-01..Pat H. 1-29-02 Tom C 3-29-02..1 YEAR!!!Kathy C 6-29-02..9
MONTHS!! Joanne R. 12-29-02..90 DAYS!!Sue P Canada 1-29-03 60 DAYS!!..Diana G 1-29-03..60 DAYS!!! AMBER..12-29-

Dal B. Saturday, 3/29/03, 4:35 AM

Good morning, I've been paying attention to the ongoing conflict in the middle east. Strange in a way, that this occurs as I
have seen many "Power hungry" humans try and take (with force) something they eiter want to use, or abuse to their own
desires. Have they not learned from history, that when you become a threat to the world, the world will threaten
you?_____________ Working today and probably tomorrow. Boss is in a really good mood as we're on schedule and things are
coming together and then the cogs should mesh right and this will benefit all of us. Hope everyone has a sane day and stays
away from the "Next Bet" (((((HUGS))))) Dal (Pondering the future) B.

From: VAncouver, WA
Last Day Gambled: 12/31/02

author unknown Saturday, 3/29/03, 4:22 AM

I believe in the Sun even when it is not shining. I believe in Love, even when I am not feeling it. I believe in God even when He
is silent. author unknown

Dave Of Beckenham Saturday, 3/29/03, 4:20 AM
My name is Dave I am a compulsive Gambler and will be till the day I DIE! Well patience pays. Had 8 items for breakfast,
naughty me? Then window shopping. Yes with out getting frustrated impatient etc. Then I remembered shop that had good
stock. We had in mind what would suit Shirleys needs. As it was going away present from her work collegues. But at this
window she saw watch she really liked but what not what we had in mind. It was a matching watcha and bracelet by rotary.
The same make which was her last watch which lasted so many excellent years. Foe Shirley it was love again at first site. Yes
we bought it but not only was it what she wanted but it was reduced. Her eyes lit up and we walked out happy. At the
beginning of the day it did not matter what the weather was like we decided on how we were going to feel in our selves. Good.
The shop sales man even adjusted the links in it for us while we waited. I told him we appreciated the good service. I can do
that today. It feels good. Now I am going to take it easy and chill out. Why did I not learn earlier life was this good? I am
fortunate that I was ready before I lost more than I could afford. Only part time ass hole these days? LOL. Love to you all. Dave

From: Uk For Now!
Last Day Gambled: 1992 August

Charlie P Saturday, 3/29/03, 3:31 AM

Charlie P here an RCG. DELORES, your fanmily is in our prayers.

From: Live in Mississippi
Last Day Gambled: 2/23/03

rich r Saturday, 3/29/03, 3:22 AM

Good Saturday morning all, especially Debbie F, our newest newcomer. Rich R, s-l-o-w-l-y recovering compulsive person,
checking in to share experience, strength and hope with you all. ~~~ First, my condolences to Delores on the passing of your
mother- in-law. My mother was 80 when she died. She had just had a triple bypass operation and her emphysema prevented
her from recovering. No matter what the cause or what the age, death still comes as a shock. As someone else said, I'm sure
my mother is watching over me (and my recovery) even right now. ~~~ Yesterday I was watching a romantic comedy DVD
called Serendipity. It was really good (lots of upside down pineapple cakes :-), but later on during the day, I had this
'serendipitous thot': yesterday morning I had posted about the third step and Blaise Pascal (you bet your life about God's
existence). Sometime ago I remember seeing something on the Internet about an old time TV show called "You Bet Your Life"
with Groucho Marx. They had a transcript of when God 'was a contestant' on the show. So, even tho this is NOT official
recovery stuff... I hope you enjoy Groucho's bantering... ~~~ I'll be back
:-) [p.s. Wayne and Lloyd, you two sound great, please keep posting, and Lloyd please give Leah a hug for me when you see
her, she sounds like she needs one!]

From: detroit
Web Site: The Time God Appeared on "You Bet Your Life"
E-mail: richr121500@yahoo(dot)com

sue Saturday, 3/29/03, 3:05 AM

Hi everyone, Sue here, a RCG who is so grateful to have found this program which has given me the tools to fight this disease!
Because without the GA program, you people, my sponsor, my therapist, my friends in my own GA f2f meetings, I could not do
this. I am powerless over gambling but today, my head is just a little bit clearer than in was over a month ago. And I am a little
bit more at peace with myself too. It's been a challenge though. This past Thursday night I was given a check, by my ex-
husband for a good chunk of monies that was due (part of his bonus through his work). When I received it though, it's not at all
what I thought it would be like. Yes - the urge to run to a casino to spend it was there, but for some reason, all I could think
about this time was how to spend it (on bills!!) But I still am gonna take my time and think and pray about it. I have always,
always been so impulsive when it comes to money. And that is where I get myself into trouble. Me and money - we are such a
bad match!!! And now I realize that. I have learned through GA to do the "next right thing" and that is what I am gonna try and
do this time. Anyways, on another note ((Delores)) I am so sorry for your loss. I was so busy yesterday I didn't read about it
until this morning. ((Wayne)) you are doing GREAT!!!! Cindy - congrats on your milestone. Way to go girl!! Anyone else who
may have reached a milestone (for all the yesterdays and Today) KEEP IT UP!!! My life has been so busy lately with my "kids"
schedules that I am trying my famous balancing act again. But I know that it can get me into trouble so I realize that I need to
slow down. Went to my therapist yesterday - He mentioned some possibilities that I need to talk to my Psych. doctor about on
Tuesday morning. I've had some really racing thoughts lately - he mentioned a couple of things it could be. A little nervous
about that so pray for a little courage for me please!!!! To you all - HAVE A GREAT DAY! I've missed talking to you all in chat
and hopefully one day (or night) things will slow down enough for me to attend a meeting again. But for now, I will just keep
going to my f2f meetings. I wish you all a peaceful, gamble free Saturday - ysir - SUE

From: massachusetts
Last Day Gambled: 02/22/03
Anna Saturday, 3/29/03, 2:00 AM

Hi all. Well I guess I should say very early morning. Hum...we take nighttime cold medicine so we can sleep and breathe easier
right? (lol) ok I can it least breathe out of one side but sleep....hum? maybe it's because I took my 4 year olds medicine cuz
thats all i had (lol). Oh I am doing sooo much better though. My neck is not throbbing like it was...give me a cold anyday
compared to muscle spasms. Sorry enough about that, so happy to have friends all hours of the day here!
((((CindyD))))Congratulations on 5 months WOW that is soooooooo awesome g/f you go girl you go girl you go girl:)
((((debbieF))))Reading your posts so remind me of me on 12/2/02. This site is the best place to learn about yourself, learn
about how NOT to gamble, and learn how to love yourself again or it least like yourself. keep reading, sharing and posting. The
main page has some awesome resources to use...some of my favorites were getting through the first 90 days....dealing with
urges.....the 12 step interactive....and the posts and daily reflections and meditations.((((Melissa))))just many many hugs for
you g/f. (((Amber)))smiles........hugs......and gratitude you on on this HUB(((JoniB)))ok, yep I'm jealous I want one of those
real life hugs too:) Hope teddy is doing ok...lot's of recovery and life huh? (((Dave)))sounds like a beautiful
gift for Shirley (((KathyK)))your posts are soo uplifting ty (((Sunshine))) what an uplifting share ty ((((Gene)))) I look forward
to seeing your posts every day ty sooo much for being you and being here on the HUB (((Wayne)))Keep it up keep sharing and
posting it really works....for me it's hard to go gamble if I'm online here sharing and posting...I always think ok I gotta go post
and I gotta post that ldg date darn it I want to hold on tight to that date. ((((((Jaybird)))))(((((Delores)))))just many many
thoughts and prayers for you and your families. (((((((Sashas list))))))))))Well, I have lots of work to do this weekend I need to
make up 24 hours...since I'm up I might as well start now:) Thanks for letting me share.

Last Day Gambled: 12/2/02

Hub Posts Sunday 3/30/03
sasha Sunday, 3/30/03, 11:17 PM

((DebbieF)) you go girl...that sounded as though it was a great experience for you...I am so happy that you were able to do
that without playing!! There is a lady I know that goes to f2f meetings, she is a sweetie and has to go to Reno once or twice a
month..she does tours and such, but she has to stay in the casino hotel where she is employeed, but she too has grit and does
so well with dealing with the 'not making that first bet'. ((Wayne)) wtg buddy, ((Okiemaw)) is so right, you are doing it and we
are doing it together....Keep posting!! Ysir S
Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03

Sasha Sunday, 3/30/03, 11:12 PM

wowow ((amber)) ((dal)) 90 congratulations. ((Okiemaw)) Thanks for posting that, I was right on line and saw it!!
hehehe ((anna)) Thanks for your offer on the Unemployment Insurance. I will be meeting with HR on Friday to get that all
squared away. BUT, I KNOW that things can happen and I would LOVE any information you may have to share!! Tomorrow I
meet with another sales person to transfer my leads....part of me wishes I could give some to another sales person I know who
could really use it. Oh well, as I always say. Anywho, I got a new mobile today and have had a great time playing with it!!!
((kathy)) thanks so much for the call...I truly think May will work, as ((Gene)) says. ((Kathy)) just want to say you were so
sweet for calling know I truly enjoyed our convo...I look forward to seeing you and Gene!! ((Jaybird)) fun seeing you
in chat on MSN....As I said, I have you, ((Patty)) and ((Delroes)) in my prayers....((Tom from NY)) You too are in my
prayers....((Sheila))((GaryK))liked your posts:-), ((John H)) here you go buddy..thanks for the post, it made me snicker when
you wrote about the worms...and I think about the hub family each day because I see all your names on the list that is posted.
((Tino)) hehehehe, you made me laugh so did ((Val)) about the bra thingy!! SNAPPPPP, been there done that..hehehe. to
everyone of you, thank you for sharing!!! Listen, there are days and weeks that I dont see my name listed and it simply doesnt
bother me....just wondering why it doesnt bother me and it may bother some...I feel bad when people say that because I am
horrible with listing all the names when I post. As I said before, I hear you, I feel you, I think about you, I touch you as you
touch me...there is not a day that goes by that I do not wonder how this hub family is doing....strength peace and love to you
all. ysir s

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03

Okiemaw Sunday, 3/30/03, 10:57 PM

(((((Wayne))))) You're doing great!! Hang in there. WE CAN DO THIS TOGETHER !!

Last Day Gambled: 1/29/03 ODAAT

Okiemaw / Diana_G Sunday, 3/30/03, 10:51 PM
Here in Oklahoma it is officially 3/31/03 sooooo Congrats to (((Dal))) and (((Amber))) 90 days without a bet !!
Wonderful!!Thanks for your ES&H.... (((Val))) Only in recovery could a story like that be told on the internet. Such honesty.
Funny, too.I love it!!!...(((Debbie))) You did good girl, just keep your roadblocks up and watch the slippery ground. Keep
coming back. OK?...(((Anna)) Thank you!!... No bets today for this Okie. No plans to bet tomorrow, either, with my HP's help.

Last Day Gambled: 1/29/03 ODAAT

Tino Sunday, 3/30/03, 10:28 PM

Lmao I haven't been around chaos in so long I didn't realize how funny it is when your not the one starting it. I use to love to
start chaos and felt that it brought excitement to my life. But now I will be happy to see it from afar and just laugh. I know
everyone here would give the shirt off of there back to help a Cg in need. Have a great day until you can have a good one.

From: Las Vegas
Last Day Gambled: August 28th 2002 +one test

wayne Sunday, 3/30/03, 10:26 PM

hi its 12.30am on monday morning i made it another day without gambleing i am feeling name is wayne.everybody
hang in there.if i can do it anybody can do it.have great day and great night.hugg

From: iron mountain
Web Site:
Last Day Gambled: 3-25-03

Debbie F. Sunday, 3/30/03, 9:48 PM

I did something I didnt think I could do today. I got out of work an hour early and went to my fav casino BUT i told valet not to
park the car I needed to see if a friend needed a ride home (a lie!)I then went inside to tap the cash back machine I had earned
$25 and to think I only had to lose $5oo to get it! and then I got into my car and came home- i needed the money to get thru
the week but I knew if I parked the car I`d be done so I guess recognising the triggers is one of the first things to help me
recover! Just thought I`d share and for all of you who sent encouraging emails THANKS so much! Debbie

From: NJ
Last Day Gambled: 3/28/03

Genek Sunday, 3/30/03, 9:19 PM

Hi all, Just stopping by to say good night.(Val) am still laughing.(dal)love your posts~~(kathyk)all I can say is "ditto" for Tom
our NY CG friend and (hugs) for you. Meeting tonight was so sincere and caring, hey we are an awesome bunch of
CG:)(((Sashas List)))for all, Genek

From: New Jersey
Last Day Gambled: 3-09-03

Brenda R Sunday, 3/30/03, 8:32 PM

Hello everyone!! ((Valorie)) that is the funniest story I've heard in a long time. Thanks for sharing. Humor is so helpful to me
on my road to recovery. (((HUGS))) to all Sasha's list.

From: Oklahoma
Last Day Gambled: 2-21-03

Dal B. Sunday, 3/30/03, 8:17 PM

Good evening all, I thank those who sent me an email congratulating me on my progress. All of you and other posters have
helped. Sure, I did the work too, but there were so many days I wanted to just say "Ah who cares? I'm going"
_________________ But I didn't. Only because of 1. The oldtimers who know it's still not possible to be a normal gambler. 2.
The newcomers who let all of us know that the addiction has claimed another. 3. Others (In betweeners) who have simply said
"Here's how my day went (Good, bad, ugly) and ended with "Today I did not gamble" _____________________ Yes, you DID
help and it's help that sometimes, I didn't want, but sorely needed. ________________ The further I get into this recover
period, the more I am seeing and thinking not of gambling, but of those who come here and beg for help. __________As I
once did, as everyone has done. (((((HUGS))))) Dal (New post tomorrow) B.

From: Vancouver, WA
Last Day Gambled: 12/31/02

Valorie Sunday, 3/30/03, 7:57 PM

Just have to share this one.... You ladies know how our backs hurt after sitting for hours over a machine, and how we sort of
move and stretch to get the kinks out - right? Well, after a half-dozen hours I did the stretchy thing only to have my bra break
in the back. YUP - felt it rip. Felt it start to ride know the drill. Well, I couldn't stay that way for long so I pushed my
stool up against my machine, and off to the ladies room I went. Got inside a stall and took the damn thing off. Stuffed it inside
my fanny pack and walked slowly back to my machine....the one that was gonna pay off any time now. If I would have had a
loose fitting shirt on it would have been no big deal. But, there I was in a tank top - boobs not exactly where they used to be,
arms folded across my chest, bra sticking out of my fanny back, and my only concern was "What if someone got on my
machine?" Talk about being willing to go to any lengths to gamble...geesh. Now this may not be a big deal for some, but trust
me, it was not a pretty site! Besides, in order to get more money I had to pull the bra out...never crossed my mind to just toss
it. Not exactly a normal way of thinking and living! Peace and love, Val

From: Oregon
Last Day Gambled: 2/17/03

Vicki B Sunday, 3/30/03, 7:40 PM

As I head off to finish my household chores before I rest, I thank my HP for this awesome site, and the awesome bunch of
people who gather here! I am just another slowly recovering compulsive gambler, working on getting well one day at a time.
Hugs all and sweet dreams!
From: MI
Last Day Gambled: 10/11/02

Sasha Sunday, 3/30/03, 7:20 PM

Hello Hub Family: My first time on the HUB today. Congratulations to all the milestoners!!! WTG. Thank you all for your posts
today! Welcome to all newcomers....I reads some posts and can relate to the feelings you are going through. I too have gone
through some rough times. I would like to thank each and everyone who has posted today. I like this place because we are all
individuals with a common illness. I like to read the different ways people handle their recovery and learn something from each
of you. I am on my recovery path that is different from others...and I do what works for me...and if I need to try something
new, you all have shared many things I can try. There is no right or wrong way to me. There is no one way.......just each of us
doing what helps us individually. Thank you and I hope everyone will continue to share their recovery with me......I do try new
things all the time and enjoy my program!! Take care, ysir Melissa

Last Day Gambled: 1/21/03

Daily and Nightly Hugs to the HUB Family, ALL CG'S, All Military Troops and Mankind Sunday, 3/30/03, 6:54 PM

(((((AletaE, Amber, Andy-sydney, Anita A,, Ann, Anna, AnnaC, ANNA MARIE, Arnie W, Anthony from London, Audrey, Audrey J-
Miranda, Barb, Barbara- Rella, BeckyB, BevR, BONNIE, Brandy, Brenda , Brenda A, Brenda R, Brett, Cali, CHERYL, Cole,
Colleen, Carole, CarolynK, Charlie K, CharlieP, Chatcat,Christine T, Cindy D, Cindy H, CindyW, Collette, Curtis L, Dal B,
Damaris, Dan,Dark_Lady, Dave, Dboy,DC, Dean, Deb B, Deb D, Deb G, DEBBIE, DEBBIE F, Del, Delores, DEM, Denise,
DennisP, DIANA N, Dina, Don C, DON D, DonnaC, Dr. Jim, Dorothe, Doug L, Emily, Emjay,FEO, Fiddler,GAIL, GaryK, GeneK,
Gordon D. Gramers, Howie C, Jake A,Janie J, Jaybird, JayL, Jennifer, Jeannie, JERRY, Jim A, Jim K, Joanne, John H, John M,
JoniB,Josie, Jude, JUDY, Karen, Kat, Katielyn, Kathy K, Kathy S, Ken, Ken F, Kinnon, Lanie, LdyQP, Lenett, Lily , Linda C, LINDA
P, Liz, Lloyd, Lu S, Madge, Maggie,MAMAFV, Marc, Marie, Mark, Mark M, Marty, Mary, Mary J, Marym downunder, MattW, Max
H, , Melissa- sasha, Michelle, MIKEP, Miranda, MYRNA, Nance, Nancy M, NICKY, Nita, Okiemaw, PAT B, Pat L, Patty, Paula,
Pete, Pete T, Purdell, Rachel, Ramona, RandyM, Ray H, ReneeB, ReneeC, Rich_DET, Richr, Robert, Robin H, Rose, Rose- Adrian,
Sal, Sandy, SandyK, Scott, R, Skogie1999, Sharon G, SharonJ, Sheila L, Sheryl, S Jane, Sorry, SUNSHINE, Suzanne, Sue,
SusanP, Steve, Steven, SylviB, Tara, Tino (sidepocketkid), Tna- Tina, Todd, TOM C, Tom P, TomS, TOM W, TOM NY, Tracy,
TRISH S, Valorie, Vel M, VickiB, Vida, Wayne, Williamk, Wilma, Ymg/Ymg, Zanna, OUR LOVED ONES, ALL MILITARY TROOPS
and Humankind))))) <184>
Last Day Gambled: ONE DAY AT A TIME>ONE MOMENT AT A TIME - Peace Out

Rose Sunday, 3/30/03, 6:40 PM

Hello everyone, it¿s been a while since I posted. I¿ve been going to 3-4 f2f meetings per week and for now, that¿s what I need
and want. I still read the posts ever day and enjoy them. In a meeting the other evening, someone said: ¿giving up and letting
go is one of the hardest thing to do¿¿ That really hit home. That is exactly what I struggle with, especially in recovery. I always
feel like I have to hold on to something that is mine. Giving up is so difficult. It feels so powerless and ¿out of control¿.¿
However, it¿s the powerlessness that gives us strength. What a paradox. I tend to hold on to almost everything¿.relationships,
$$$, work, time, myself, others¿.you name it, I hang on to it with everything I have. Usually, I end up with nothing because it
wasn¿t meant to be mine and to keep. Once time has passed and I look back, I can see the value in the ¿letting go¿, but not at
the time I need to let go. I truly believe the action of gambling is just a symptom of a much deeper underlying problem. The 12
steps and my friends in meetings help me work on this problem, if I let them. I will let them as long as I don¿t place a bet.
Once I do that, I no longer want them to help me, because I¿m only interested in one thing: ¿to gamble and to find a miserable
way of life¿¿. Congratulations to all who reached a milestone. 24 hrs is an accomplishment. Keep posting and make f2f
meetings if all possible. Meetings make it. Thanks for listening, Rose

From: WA
Last Day Gambled: 2/6/02

Kathy K Sunday, 3/30/03, 5:01 PM

((( FOR TOM FROM QUEENS ))) Dear Tom, I just came on the computer and after reading your post I felt compelled to post
back to you. Maybe this should be dome privately but sometimes things just need to be said openly for all of us to realize what
this insanity has done to our lives....................... I am your neighbor, here in New Jersey and I also lost my self esteem as
well as my financial future to Atlantic City and mostly Mohegan Sun.............. No dear fellow cg, you are not alone, I too am in
debt for an astronomical amount of money, $60,000.00. The last time I relapsed I thought I was in total control,I thought that
going back was the only way I was going to pay this debt back, obviously I was deluding myself. It just doesn't happen. You
see Tom, even had I won money I would have lost it again. The relapse just before that one I had hit for over $5000.00. That
would have been a good chunk to put on my credit card debt. But, guess what I did? I gave it back! Yes, in the same night I
gave the whole frigging (I really want to say something else) amount back plus another $2000.00... ........I had to finally come
to terms with myself, I had to finally admit that I am powerless over this addiction, that the only way I am going to free myself
of this debt is by working my a** off. I sat down and calculated what it would take and I am facing at least 6 or 7 years of hell
financially.... Never feel alone Tom, and if you do, reach out and touch someone, email me or someone else you can connect me privately and I will be glad to call you...but please start somewhere. Life will get better but we have to want it
to................ I am no professional at this, my gamble free time sickens me because I was doing so well, but I am a cg just like
everyone else here and if I can hold your hand and help you gain just one gamble free day then it is worth it. Thinking of you,
Love, Kathy K

From: New Jersey
Web Site: The Last Bet

GaryK14 Sunday, 3/30/03, 3:18 PM

Before this thing with outside issues gets out of hand, let me say that my previous post was simply a commentary on a
character defect that I need to work on. Nothing more...nothing less.

From: Vancouver Island
Last Day Gambled: November 12, 2001

Sheila L Sunday, 3/30/03, 3:12 PM

Well it looks like I stirred the pot again and I'm faced with trying to defend myself or just let it be. I had a situation yesterday
with a post that I thought was calling attention to itself. I was bothered by it, but decided to ignore it after writing about it in an
email to a friend. I put it down on paper and I was done with it. Today a person posted about what he thought was outside
issues and it hit close to home for me. I was being honest when I posted about having resentments and I'm getting blasted for
it. I liked what he had to say and I put my name on it. It doesn't happen very often but when it does I'm able to recognize my
shortcomings and that is what I was doing this morning. I have neither the time or the energy to get pulled into something that
has been blown way out of proportion. I don't feel I need to defend myself on this issue as well. I come here for experience
strength and hope. This has been quite a learning experience. That's it for me....

From: Arizona
Last Day Gambled: March 14, 2001
Anna Sunday, 3/30/03, 2:58 PM

Hi all. Wow, what a busy day it is today at the HUB. (((Sue))) Just really appreciate you g/f and your strength and recovery is
awesome!!((DalB))90 days congratulations, for me the urges got a bit intense at 90 and continue to do so we are pretty darn
close lets work this one together OK? ((Tino))Balance yep so important and house dad good for you enjoy! ((ArnieW))Was
really curious about those studies and neurological affects gambling has thank you!!1 (NancyM)(amber) you are so awesome at
those milestones. I smile everytime I see your post (susanP) isn't it a huge relief when we see that financial progress? good for
you g/f(Sasha)Have you filed for UI unemployment benefits? If not you really should think about it. i would be happy to give
you any pointers. also, I am soooo jealous about working out and getting back into being physically fit. good for you. (GaryK)
Take what I need and leave the rest...yep I agree our recovery is very personal to each of us (Joni)Hope you are doing ok,
thinking about you lately (Shelila L) working the recovery awesome (Diana) 60 Days WHOOO HOOO you go girl you go girl
(Wayne) a hugg right back to you. Soooo happy you are posting keep it up ok? (RichR) smiles to you (Paula) (sivia B) (
BrendaR) (Val) wow can I too relate to your post (VickiB) thank you for your share really is an awesome share (Max) Thank you
for providing your experience (shieila L)(Lus) I am so sorry you are having another cloudy day I hope tomorrow brings sun or it
least next weekend:) (Carole)hope golfing was fun today, hubby went to play and courses were to full, hope he doesn't get
tooo crabby. (John H) don't eat those worms...we do care (Jay L) (JimA) You are an awesome support (cindy W)(GeneK)hugs
to you too! All hope you have an awesome nongambling day. I have the urge and have had lately, I keep coming back back my
stinking thinking does too. I read some recent stats that 60 + percent relapse the first year...ugh I hate being part of the
majority so I will work on being part of that 40%:) Just my personal thinking. thanks for being here

Last Day Gambled: 12/2/02

Joni B Sunday, 3/30/03, 2:57 PM

Afternoon precious friends..I am a gcg..Grateful for this Day in Recovery..first..I just have tooo.. ((((Milestoners.)))))))).one
..two..jump...CARTWHEEL> >CARTWHEEL>>CARTWHEEL. wheew..but you are SOOOO WORTH IT!!:):)..It's been a beautiful
day here..the weather..Spring is nice..I soo love Sundays up early after a good rest..came here and read
your shares:).had a wonderful visit with my Sponsor..gosh I just love her:).then got a call from a dear friend..we had made
plans to go to Church together..she didn't have her car so I went and got her and soo enjoyed our time together..she's been a
dear friend these past couple years..and so nice when we can get together..From there I had lunch with another
friend..someone who has 18 years AA Recovery...and soo love sharing with him...amazing the friendships we gain along the
way in our Recovery Day..tis awesome to me...been tending to the flowers sitting in the flowerbed above my bed..and they are
doing okay, as I had to bring them in when it got cold outside, and I was just rushing Spring abit..grin...they are soooo waiting
to be planted out on my porch:)..few more days..and so hope to do that..They had predicted some snow Friday..and
fortunately it went North of us..and turned out to be a gorgeous weekend..the sun shining..don't ya just love that:) Do want to
appoligize if my sharing this morning came across in a advising heart can so sometimes..take over me...just saw Toms
pain.felt it...and my needed to share with him.. .was so trying to share my recovery..and what has so worked for me..that was
my intention..and am sorry if it came across any other's just what has worked for me..and in sharing my
Recovery..sometimes the wording just may not come out right..but do heart is each word..because I soooooo care
and soo hope the words do come across here that way:).. ((TOM)))(((BRENDA)))) I do soo hope you will keep coming and
share with sooo Grateful for each of your shares..and all that share here with me..thats how I grow and
need to get some things done here..and yep..enjoy that porch of mine too for abit...while its so nice out..hope to see some of
you at the online meeting too..this evening..Love All you precious people..simply do:)do be kind to you.k.and then share it:)
k..and I will too..smiles.. ysir, love Joni B

From: Nebr
Last Day Gambled: 7/08/00 Grateful

Genek Sunday, 3/30/03, 2:04 PM

Hi all, Genek here a compulsive gambler,striving for recovery one step and ODAAT.Looking back over the last 8 months since I
first posted on the GAHub,I am so thankful that my HP led me here.Some of the recent posts,memories,,some sad some
humorous, of past gambling experiences have reenforced and reminded me of why I am here.With the internet casinos there
are no memories;it is a make believe cyber world.And even the $$,the coins are only images,like monopoly money.But you do
not get to build a hotel on the boardwalk in ACity LOL All .that you can do is stare at a computer screen slot machine.IT is so
far removed from the realit y of a casino,and therein is the reason why I believe they should be banned.My state NJ is trying to
do just that Most of the Major Credit Cards have stopped allowing their use in interenet casinos.,as has PayPal. which took over
EBay.~~~~Back to casinos,which I had to stop going to 2 years ago for personal reasons.For sure remember those furtive trps
to the ATMs,hoping hubby was not nearby.:).And the fear of leaving a machine that was DUE to pay off:)Remember once
finding a machine with about 40$ credit still left.Did I look for someone who had recently left that machine? Hell
no!!~~~~~Have to put my 2 cents in to discussion of bringing outside issues here.Yes I have done the same(John h
smiling)But if we are to be realistic¿those outside issues do affect so many of our hubbers here.And in my view the most
important issue is supporting our troops now in danger.whether yo u support our leaders or not!!!This is reality.OK Gene, get
off your soapboxLOL ~~~~~Congratulations to all reaching a milestone today.You have been the insspiration for all of us CGs
See you all at 8PM meeting, Love and (((((Sashas List)))))Genek

From: NJ
Last Day Gambled: 3-09-03

Genek Sunday, 3/30/03, 2:03 PM

From: NJ

Genek Sunday, 3/30/03, 2:03 PM

From: NJ

Cindy W Sunday, 3/30/03, 2:02 PM

This goes out to my GF((((((((((DIANA))))))))))) CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR 60 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT FEELS SO GOOD
DOESN'T IT???? YSIR....Cindy

From: Illinois
Last Day Gambled: Dec. 21,2002

Sunday, 3/30/03, 1:58 PM

Troublemakes Can Be Teachers. Few of us are any longer afraid to what any person can do to our 12 step group reputation or
effectiveness. Those who slip, those who panhandle, those who scandalize, those with mental twists, those who rebel at the
program, those who trade on the group reputation-- all such persons seldom harm a 12 step group for long. Some of those
have become our most respected and best loved. Some have remained to try our patience, staying abstinent nevertheless.
Others have drifted away. We have begun to regard the troublesome ones not as menaces, but rather as our teachers. They
oblige us to cultivate patience, tolerance, and humility. We finally see that they are only people sicker than the rest of us, that
we who condemn them are the Pharisees whose false righteousness does our group the deeper spiritual damage.
Sunday, 3/30/03, 1:51 PM

Nothing pays off like restraint of tongue and pen. We must avoid quick-tempered criticism, furious power-driven argument,
sulking, and silent scorn. These are emotional booby traps baited with pride and vengefulness. When we are tempted by the
bait, we should train ourselves to step back and think. We can neither think nor act to good purpose until the habit of self-
restraint has become automatic.

Jay L. Sunday, 3/30/03, 1:45 PM

Good afternoon, everyone. Outside issues? Here? If I've learned nothing else about these kinds of sites, it's that pretty much
anything goes. Most of the time the comments resemble some sort of recovery process away from gambling and sometimes
not. I really liked what John said about posting and sticking around to see who commented and feeling left out if nobody
commented as I certainly used to feel a little of that. Today I really have very little of anything profound to say about recovery
or much of anything else for that matter. That being said, I'm so extremely grateful that my recovery has given me a variety of
life choices, so many in fact, that I really have very little time to be on this or any other site anyways. Life just gets better and
better with each passing day that I don't gamble or drink. Thanks for listening and have a great day!

From: Arizona
Last Day Gambled: November 5, 2000.

Sunday, 3/30/03, 1:29 PM

Outside Issues Sunday, 3/30/03, 12:48 PM

Come to think of it, this just may be one of those "Outside Issues." Let's don't draw the GA name into it. Keep coming back
Brenda! A Fellow Poster

Jim A. ( Sunday, 3/30/03, 12:46 PM
Hello everyone ~~~ Sharing a bit of my 'Experience, Strength, and *H*O*P*E*' (ES&H) with Tom from Queens. Boy, do I ever
relate to your story Tom. I went to a few meetings of GA back in 1989 when I was a 'little concerned' about my gambling.
Didn't stick around though. Back to the racetracks and the casinos. My perception of Reality was being blurred in stages -- the
consequences were mounting yet I continued on the same path, I mean it was sooooooooo familiar -- I was on my way to a
whole new construct of "Reality" where my "Identity" shrunk down to the size of a casino betting circle in a game like Black
Jack, or if you prefer "21", or Baccarat (I played craps only occasionally, because I didn't like having to stand up for long
stretches, when I could be sitting down (how's that for honesty?!). If you wanted to know how I was, well I would tell you,
that if I had any action in that betting circle, I was fine and things were gonna be OK. The betting circle. Nothing else mattered
on a sustained basis in my life. I'd get my cues from that circle. Whether I was elated in the moment, or hurting terribly on the
inside in another moment, that's where I 'experienced' feelings. But what seemed to sustain me -- it was the only 'hope' that I
had at the time -- was the sure-fire certainty that the betting circle would continue to be there for me. Above everything else.
~~~ My ES&H really isn't about what I did in the GA program, or anything like that, because I have already told you what I did
when I thought I needed to do something about my gambling, because I was concerned about it .... what I did was quit and
give up and fail when I did it, with the very best of my thinking, my analyzing my problem, and deciding what I needed to do
about it. ~~~ What changed, when I came back to a meeting of GA in January 1996 --- nearly seven years later --- that's alot
of time in between innings, no? -- was that I was wrapped up in knots, full of fear about my immediate future, bills due, taxes
had not been filed for years, concerned that I was gonna be fired, I was tired of all of the chasing and chasing, I had been sleep
deprived for so long that I was so exhausted, so tired, that all I wanted to do was pull the covers up over my head and I
wanted to go to sleep and not wake up anymore to what I had created over a long period of time with my gambling. It was so
depressing, I was filled with despair. Did I mention that I had gambled all the fun out of it too? Long ago, without a doubt. ~~~
Somehow, someway, I responded to those stories, the ones I heard in the room, I identified with a few of them and found
myself doing what was suggested. Even though my thinking was filled with doubt, I mean after all, gambling was
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too important in the scheme of thing in my life, to 'DO GA', but doggone it, I found myself being LED by
a force or power or something (hey it wasn't me figuring any of this stuff out), to start to put just one foot in front of the other,
go to a meeting, and then with another step, go and listen to a lead (open) talk, and another step, there I was at a conference
(imagine that, someone said I would get a better view of RECOVERY there ...), and so on, step by step, brick by brick, post by
post, day by day, meeting by meeting, member by member ~~~ Today, "no day but today" (with courtesy to "RENT" which I
saw Friday evening), life's so much better with my life OUTSIDE of the betting circle. No way I can explain that in a couple of
paragraphs, but I have tried. ~~~ Rich R. is part of my story, and so is Warren B., and so are you Tom from Queens. ~~~
Keep coming back! ~~~ Peace.

From: Davison (City of Flags), Michigan
Last Day Gambled: January 23, 1996
Brenda R Sunday, 3/30/03, 12:38 PM

Hello everyone!! I was reading the posts today and I can feel some tension here. I don't get it. I get something from so many
posts,whether it's sad, funny, or a different approach to something. Sharing, to me, is what it's all about. To know you are not
alone and that there are people out there just like you. Only another cg can understand the pain a cg goes through. Writing is a
good form of therapy, to put down on paper what you're feelings are. Wouldn't the Hub be boring if no one had anything to

From: Oklahoma
Last Day Gambled: 2-21-03

A Fellow Poster Sunday, 3/30/03, 12:06 PM

John H. That is exactly what I meant. The unity program is for the purpose of GA. This site serves a purpose for those of us
who wish to share our progress, or lack of, in our recovery from compulsive gambling, and our everyday stuff. It is not GA.
However, it does follow the GA program in regard to the on-line meetings. Posting is a whole other matter. Now, stop pouting.
Worms are squishy!

Vicki B, again Sunday, 3/30/03, 12:05 PM

While driving back to Sacramento, after a binge in Reno, gas, no money...already looked throughout the car for money,
even checked in the trunk. I stopped at a police station to see if I could get help, but too embarrassed to approach the female
officer behind the counter...I walked back out. I stopped to get 50 cents worth of gas. The service attendant asked where I was
headed. He put $2.00 worth of gas in for me. And, yet I still continued to gamble! Just another sick puppy here. Grateful for
this new day, and the choice to not gamble TODAY! Thank-you all for the ability to laugh at myself today! Hugs, Vicki DAY

Jay L. Sunday, 3/30/03, 11:51 AM

John, you are a character!
John H Sunday, 3/30/03, 11:46 AM

This ain't GA. I've been to GA and this ain't it. This is the WWW (World Wild Web) So the precious Unity steps that hold GA
together do not apply. (Granted, this website does support the efforts of GA, as it says on page one) We are free to post
whatever and whenever we want. Of course, the webmaster is free to delete whatever and whenever he wants too. But you
don't see a whole lot of that here. Folks just post thier experience strength and hope. Some experiences I can relate to, other
experiences simply baffle me. Take what you like and leave the rest. ****** Me, I seem to be so full of selfish, self-
centeredness lately that the only reason I post anymore is read what other people have to say about my post. And when they
do not comment I get a big pout on and figure "everybody hates me, nobody loves me, I gonna go eat worms." So post about
the steps, your life, or whatever you want. Just be warned that I never read a post that streches past the top AND the bottom
of my browser window. I figure those lenghty posts are full of "it" anyway. (present company included!) John H 2- 7-02

From: Flint MI
Last Day Gambled: 2-7-02

Carole Sunday, 3/30/03, 11:27 AM

Good Day!! Carole here recovering compulsive gambler and not too much time, off golfing in a bit..just had to let any
newcomer know that this is a loving and caring place to come and be heard, in time, you will for YOU decide about ga or ga
meetings, in here or face to face, but know that if you are "lurking" at this moment..choose to put your name and feelings
out..cause this is the place to do it in..I post from my heart each new day, and I do not judge anyone, cause I been there, done
it TOO, except..Lu, never looked for change in the car, but most certainly checked out under the seats at the slot machines, in
case there was a spare quarter..ohhhh, gosh, what a sick puppy I was..and still could be if I didn't have this awesome Hub to
come to every day...well, hubby is ready and the game awaits, wishing you all a great day..and just let it all hang out..and be
free:)love, Carole and congrats to all milestoners,((Dal)))good for you..and I forget everyone else, I usually am better prepared
but had to jump in, Carole

Lu S. Sunday, 3/30/03, 10:51 AM

Happy Sunday All, Have to admitt, am REALLY tired of snow and gray we HAVE melting snow and sunshine..Ahhh,
the magic of Mother Nature..she has sooo kicked us in the booty up here. Happy to see she has had an attitude adjustment
too..LOL. Well, this is Lu the compulsive gambler. First day of the rest of my life was 8-23-99 which was also the last day I
gambled. Grateful for awww so much in my life now! As the days pass by life has a way of humbling my mind, body, spirit. This
leads me into the grateful phase which leads me into the humble phase,,and so it goes for me. I so hope that I continue to
learn, growing in the program and as a human being, the lessons life has and the guidance my HP offers me. And for heaven's
sake, regain my sense of humor by not taking myself so serious!!! Val did a great job with her posting of "her
gamblingself"..wise woman that she is! As I chuckled, her story and mine combing, I remembered the sicko stuff I did too.
Wonder, did anyone else go out to the car and dig in the seats for change, what about wanting to slap the daylights out of the
person with the "full cup", I mean come on, I deserved that full cup, not that other person who was probably a compulsive
gambler anyway!OHHH, how repulsive it is to see the same faces in the casino evey time I'm there,,what's the matter with
these people, don't they have lives. That dear ones was my sicko thought pattern during my life as a "serious gambler"...all
these other fools had no idea how important I was and how serious I was about this wonderful game of chance..what a bunch
of rookies! The didn't have a clue did they??? I'm telling ya, ya gotta laugh at that thought process!!!!! How great it feels to out
from under all the crap. When 8-23-99 came to an end, it felt like the weight of the world had been removed. No more lies,
rushing to the mailbox, tripping over myself to answer the phone, fake phone conversations with bill collectors or the bank. My
God, the energy that all took. No wonder I was so exhausted. Well, in anycase, this cg has put that crap away, to draw on for
my recovery and remind me who I am and what I am. I'm a compulsive gambler learning to walk the recovery road, which
leads my to the path of so much goodness. Love and huggs all around...Silly old cg Lu

From: Iron Mountain, Mi
Last Day Gambled: 8-23-99

Outside Issues Sunday, 3/30/03, 10:47 AM

For the life of me I can't understand how anyone can get a resentment from a fellow poster who shares his/her day-to-day life,
or thoughts and feelings about current events. (Unless of course, the person copping the resentment is a target for someone's
aggression.) The true meaning of the unity program as expressed in the 10th tradition is simply not to implicate GA as a whole,
a specific GA group, or ourselves as individual representatives of GA in any public controversy. To not take a public stand for or
against any "controversial issue," thus causing fragmentation or dissension, and losing site of our common goal. As long as we
keep this intact within the confines of our on-line meetings we are in harmony with the unity program. A fellow poster.

Sheila L Sunday, 3/30/03, 10:32 AM
I just wanted to thank Gary K for the great post this morning. I also can harbor resentments when I read some of the posts.
When I get complacent with this program I can read a post and immediately start to judge that person. I immediately need to
look at myself and see what it is that disturbs me so I don't have to carry around this resentment most of the day. In the last
two years I've done a great deal of work on myself, but I have a great deal more to do. I still get in my way most of the time.
It was suggested to me early in my recovery that I didn't have enough time in recovery to be giving advice to anyone. I have
two years and I know that I still don't have enough time to give any advice. I know that more now than I did back then. So I
will continue to read the posts and occasionally a post will stand out at me and I realize that we all have a common thread
which binds us together. We're all gamblers just trying to get healthy one day at a time. Thanks for the posts, I continue to
learn from each and everyone of you.

From: Arizona
Last Day Gambled: March 14, 2001

Sunday, 3/30/03, 10:21 AM

RECOVERY MEDITATIONS One Day at a Time March 29, 2003 ~ TOGETHERNESS ~ :~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:.
.:~*~: "Take my hand, and no matter how dark the night, the light of day will come, and we will share the tomorrow." ~Ken
Grant~ "When we first walk into our compulsive recovery rooms, we are all afraid: afraid of more rejection, afraid of more
failure, afraid of more loneliness. Once we sit and listen, we realize that we are not much different than the others. We ease up,
start sharing, begin trusting our Higher Power and ourselves more. Our darkness of the past is drawn out by our sharing with
other compulsive gamblers and other addicts. We realize our deep, dark secrets are not as bad as we thought. We are not
alone! Then hand in hand, we begin climbing the ladder of recovery and the light of day begins to shine brighter and brighter."
ONE DAY AT A TIME ... "When we let our guard down and let Higher Power and other people in, we learn that at the end of a
dark day is the light of our next today. We learn that, together, we can do what we can never do alone." [In Sharing, Vicki B.

Matt W Sunday, 3/30/03, 10:15 AM

Tom email me with your number and I will call you.

From: Mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-1-03
Max Sunday, 3/30/03, 10:14 AM

Tom: Very few people in trouble because of an addiction are ready to accept what they hear at a first meeting. I for one, was
not, because it was alien to my way of thinking. It was strange talk coming from persons who could not be the same as I was. I
learned differently over time and am greatful for that. You are lucky to live in an area that has many groups with varied
approaches and thinkings. Visiting various groups will give you the opportunity to be able to find members that you can relate
to. In my understanding of the program over the yearss, it important to want to get help that creates the successes that are so
prevalant in GA. Your problems are not insurmountable, they are average in the scope of things for members in GA who have
overcome. You shall too. In Peace and with Serenity Max H

From: NYC
Last Day Gambled: 7/1/65

Vicki B Sunday, 3/30/03, 10:01 AM

Good Afternoon CGHub Family. I am a compulsive person...gambler, shopper, food addict, etc. I struggle , when I should
surrender. My daily reprieve from my addictive behaviors is based on my spiritual condition. So many times I get caught up
thinking "it is all about me"...what I am doing or what I am failing to do. I was given a gift when I was led to GA. I know GA
works, when I work the 12 steps and 12 traditions in all my affairs. In my moments of clarity, I am able to acknowledge my
need for "a power greater than myself". The choice is mine..."self-well run riot" keeps me seperated from that power. Once
again, I surrender. I seek to know and do the will of my Higher Power this day, 03/30/03. I am just once bet away from the
"death" of compulsive gambling. I am one purchase away from the "prison" of compulsive shopping. I am one biteful away from
the "insanity" compulsive eating. Just for today, I surrender all of me to my HP. May I know and do thy will this one day.
Thank-you to each of you for coming here at the CGHub and sharing your experience, strength, and hope. You have helped this
CGer take a look at her self and realize..."it is not all about me". I am no longer alone. I am no longer apart from...I am a part
of a world-wide fellowship of other recovering compulsive gamblers. How awesome is that??? We are people-helping-people.
Welcome to those who are new here. Give us a try. There is help and hope. There is a life after gambling. Slowly we make
progress. Changes do not happen instantaniously. Trust the process. I am just another grateful compulsive gambler, but by the
grace of God, I am learning I am so much more than that! Remembering my hub family, and our troops and their families in
prayer. Hugs, Vicki B.
From: MI
Last Day Gambled: 10/11/02

NancyM Sunday, 3/30/03, 9:27 AM

Morning All, Val thank you so much!! You have this way of describing in detail all the fun things I did at the casino. How about
keeping your head up high and smiling as you're leaving the casino so people would think you had won?? Yep, I did all that and
more. Slowly I am opening up. Bottom takes what it takes. Alot going on in my life and most of it sucks, but I also
believe things are being worked out and it's none of my dam business right now. I just show up. Beatiful day in the
SW...supposed to get in the 90's by tomorrow...oh yippeee summer. Congrats to all the milestones we are an awesome bunch.
Love, Nancy

From: Phoenix
Last Day Gambled: 2-16-03

Gary K Sunday, 3/30/03, 9:15 AM

When I first came into GA, one of the senior members told me to take what I need to do, and leave the rest. This advice has
proven to be exceptionally valuable to my recovery. Although the Unity Program tells us that GA has no opinion on outside
issues, it is inevitable that outside issues enter GA rooms. It is at these times, that I must remember the sage advice of the
senior GA members. Recently there has been a fair amount of outside issues on this site. I fully realize that this is not a GA
room, however, we try to adhere to GA principles. I have built up some resentments, which I know are detrimental to my
recovery. Last nite, I pondered on step 11 of the recovery program, and came to the understanding that if I am to continue
recovering, I must "take what I need, and leave the rest".

From: Vancouver Island
Last Day Gambled: November 12, 2001

sylvi b Sunday, 3/30/03, 9:03 AM
Dear Tom F, I am so sorry I missed your post the first time through. All I can say is you don't have to go through this alone
anymore. Try the meetings again. I too went back out and when I came back the experience was different. What have you got
to lose but a little time? There will be different people, and you are different, more teachable. Please go to a meeting right away
.. YFIR sylvi b

From: mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02

Valorie Sunday, 3/30/03, 8:50 AM

Just another RCG, taking it ODAAT. Thinking about the topic of humility. Nothing unique about my story...the way I gambled.
In fact, it's really pretty freaky. Who was that woman with the glazed look in her eyes, cigarette drooping and dropping ashes,
racing from slot machine to ATM and back? Hmmmm, could that be me? Nawwww. I am a professional woman...too smart to
waste my money, too cool to be hanging out in a casino all night, not a compulsive gambler. Just a string of bad luck that's all.
It was gonna change....I'd be back on top of my game. Sure Val... Did I really paste a smile on my face as I went to see how
my hubby was doing on the crap table? Knowing I was WAY down, and praying that he had enough chips to keep me going?
YUP. Did I lie and tell him I was doing great? Oh yeah!!! Then back to the ATM - AGAIN? YUP. Was I totally miserable on the
ride home? DUH! Was I a genius at moving money around to cover the losses? Of course I was. That is, until that awful night in
June of 01 when I hit the wall so hard my head was spinning, and I had that moment of clarity all of us CG's have. You know
the one - it's either cut your losses and stop gambling, or keep going until we get to that part about death, insanity, or prison.
Not a thing unique about my story - except that it is mine, and I paid dearly for it. These days are so totally different from
those. ODAAT, not making that first bet, working the steps to the best of my ability, being open to what is being revealed to
me...taking risks to reach out and reach in. To all the newcomers, I've been there my friends. It will get better, I promise, each
day that you don't make that first bet. Just keep coming back and sharing your truth. Congratulations to all who have
celebrated milestones in this past few days, you are our strength. Peace and Love, Val

From: Oregon

Susan P Sunday, 3/30/03, 8:37 AM

Good afternoon all. For the first time in a long time, I am able to see progress, and it's affect is amazing, my bills are starting
to be caught up, and I have given over control of my fiances. What a relief. I never thought I would say that!! But it helps me
on days when I go through a hard time. With yesterday being my 60 days, I am going window shopping today, cuz I need to
reward myself. It does't have to be outrageous, just a little pick me up. I am so glad this time around, something has changed
inside of me, don't know what it is, and I am not going to question it, cuz it's working. I wish you all a great gamble free day.
Yfir, Susan P

From: Canada
Last Day Gambled: Jan29/03

Amber Sunday, 3/30/03, 8:30 AM

((((((((((Diana))))))))....Congratulations on your 60 days!!!!....ysir Amber

Last Day Gambled: the last day of my old life

Brenda R Sunday, 3/30/03, 8:30 AM

Hello everyone!! I haven't posted in a few days. I love to read the post, but sometimes, by the time I catch up on the reading, I
don't have time to post. CONGRATS to all those reaching milestones!! (((Okiemaw))) my Okie sis, I'm so proud of you.(((Dal)))
way to go. I went to my GA meeting yesterday. We had a newcomer. The devistation of this disease never ceases to amaze
me. This young lady, with two children, had lost her home and her car and I guess just about everything. I am knee high in
debt because of my gambling, but I feel so blessed to have gotten out when I did. I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel
yet, but I'm working hard to find it. At least I can think, now that I'm not gambling, how to put my life back together. When I
was gambling, I didn't care what was happening. FEELING again is a great thing!

From: Oklahoma
Last Day Gambled: 2-21-03

Sylvia B Sunday, 3/30/03, 8:19 AM

DEAR FELLOW RCGS, Good morning to you. I appreciated reading all the posts today so far. I am sitting here waiting for my
son to visit and feeling incredibly grateful for his health and attendance at 12 step recovery meetings. It is the answer to so
many prayers. If I never had another answered this should be enough. That plus my parents' moving to a comfortable senior
residence tomorrow is a miracle to me. Now I must continue to grow in my Recovery Program A Day at a Time. With Gratitude,
always Gratitude. Thank you all for being there for me and Gamblers Anonymous.YSIR Sylvia

From: Mi
Last Day Gambled: 1-11-02

Charlie K. Sunday, 3/30/03, 7:55 AM

Hi sisters and brothers in recovery. I'm Charlie K., a grateful compulsive gambler. Congrats to milestoners today and the rest of
us for another marvelous 24 hours of recovery!!! ~~~~~~~~~~ "Absolute humility means freedom from myself" (Reflection
of the day) ---- lots of wisdom in that quote!!! I've leraned a great deal about humility and what it means to be the best person
I can be through this fellowship of GA. I'm grateful for this and many other gifts of the program and am willing to continue to
free myself from me!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Tom F. - My sponsor started telling me right from the beginning - "just keep
telling the truth for you from your heart", attend those dang ol' meetings, get a sponsor and truly work at understanding and
doing the 12 steps!!! It's a simple program, just not that easy to do, but YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~Love and
((((HUGS)))), Charlie K.[]

From: Ajijic, Mexico
Last Day Gambled: March 31, 1997

Paula Sunday, 3/30/03, 7:01 AM

Good morning everyone. First, let me congratulate all of those reaching milestones. Especially Diana, on her 60 days. (1-29-03)
I remember talking to her after that day, and watching her recovery has been amazing. Everyone has something to offer
someone. Tom's honesty is a reminder of some of the pain gambling has caused in all of our lives. Just coming to the HUB and
sharing has helped. Listening to advise from old-timers kept some of my sanity. It has been a year since I first discovered the
HUB. My first last date was 4-2-02. I relapsed, had difficulty forgiving myself. But some great people listened, loved, and lifted
my spirits. I went back and forth, wanting to give up gambling, but not knowing what to do with the desire to continue
gambling. The addiction was strong. The addiction controlled everything I said or did. What finally made the difference? GEtting
sick and tired of being sick and tired all the time. And really looking at the damage, and wanting to change. Finally trying some
of the things people who had stopped gambling tried. Steps, trust in HIgher Power. Posting negative feelings, learning to
recognize triggers, making plans NOT to gamble, instead of planning to gamble. At first, I had to keep a written to-do list to
prevent going to the casino. Still now, especially on paydays, I have to set certain preventive measures in place. It does get
better. That was so hard for me to imagine. Life without gambling. I'm rambling. Guess it has been so long since I posted.
Things really are going okay here. Beautiful weather, and some peace. I still learning to appreciate the simple things in life. I
had to give up that childish dream of winning thousands of dollars, and fixing all my problems. What is more important is
family, friends, work that matters, spirituality, health, and growing. I hope everyone has a great, gamble- free day. Take it one
day at a time, one hour at a time if necessary. Thanks for reading/listening.

From: Oklahoma
Last Day Gambled: 9/22/02

rich r Sunday, 3/30/03, 6:19 AM

Good morning all, rich r, compulsive gambler, checking in. Tom from NYC welcome aboard, you sound just like one of us!
(surprise, surprise). I, too, had to get to that low point where I was ready to give up. I didn't actually think about giving up my
life, but I did think about giving up MY WAY of living and try something else. At the time it was alcohol that was kickin my butt.
My mother had been sober thru treatment and AA for 6 years at the time. After my Dad died my mother lived with my family.
We NEVER thot she could quit drinking and turn her life around. BUT SHE DID! So I followed her example and joined AA. Thank
God, I have not had a relapse in THAT program since 12/12/90. AA is a very strong 12- step program with lots of oldtimers and
lots of people willing to help newcomers work the 12 steps. I consider myself lucky that I qualify for AA. I am much more of a
compulsive gambler than I am an alcholic, but I get much more direction and support in working the steps in AA. So, having
said all that, I would suggest that you try the 12-step programs... one more time. The programs probably haven't changed that
much since you were last there, but it sounds like you have changed, perhaps gotten more willing to give up YOUR WAY of
living and try something else. Most of us here will be praying for you to be willing to try something new. Please keep sharing
your progress with us here, there is strength in numbers, especially recovering numbers. And, remember, just take this thing
one day at a time! Thanks. ~~~ I'll be back :-) [p.s. welcome to any newcomer 'lurkers' out there, hope you get the courage to
post like Tom did.)

From: detroit
E-mail: richr121500@yahoo(dot)com
Last Day Gambled: 121500

wayne Sunday, 3/30/03, 6:12 AM
hi yesterday was good day because i made another day without gambleing.just wanted to say that.have good day
everybody.hugg wayne

From: iron mountain
Web Site:
Last Day Gambled: 3-25-03

Sue Sunday, 3/30/03, 5:47 AM

Good Sunday morning. Sue here - a grateful CG stopping in to say how "at peace" I am with my self this morning. The posts
from yesterday were such an inspiration to me. ((Dal, Okie)) Congrats on your milestones!!! Delores - you sound so much
happier in your post from yesterday - I am happy for the day that you had yesterday!! ((Tom)) Keep coming! You can do this!
Do not ever give up on yourself. ((Carole)) ((Marie)) just because. Oh, and Charlie - thanks for the share of the pictures....I
was rolling on the floor over a couple of them. It is so so nice to see that you guys were having a great time together. Thanks
for the share! Today I am off to spend some time with my youngest son. It is just so nice to be able to spend one-on-one time
with each of my children. I could never do that if I were still gambling. I am beginning to see them for the bright individuals
with their own personalities instead of just "my 3 kids." (if that makes sense). All I know is that it feels so right and so good
and I am so grateful to my HP for allowing me the opportunity to see this before it was too late, they were all grown, and gone.
And I am so darned proud of myself. The monies that I recieved on Thursday night are still there, in tact, not spent on some
SLOT MACHINE which did nothing but cause me pain and misery in my life. ((SASHA'S LIST)). and ((SASHA)) thanks for
posting this every day! My goal for today is to attend the online meeting because I do miss talking to all of for now, I
will close and wish you all a SAFE, GAMBLE FREE Sunday!!! your friend in recovery, sue

From: Massachusetts
Last Day Gambled: 02/22/03

Joni B Sunday, 3/30/03, 5:44 AM

GOD Morning precious friends..I am a compulsive gambler and by the Grace of God discovering much more today..For that I
am soo Grateful..(((((TOM)))) my heart goes out to you..this addiction is insidious, the pain it brings know that. as I
toooo have been where you are..and what you feel right now..what I can share with you today what I have my that I have an illness that can never be cured..but can be arrested and my way to recover from
the insanity of my addiction..was to grab on to this Program of GA 12 Steps for dear life..To seek with all my heart my
HP(GOD)to help turn my life over to that Power Greater then myself..for I knew I couldn't do it alone..I toooo felt like
you do now..whatever you choose as your HP..that power to let go to of the ..the pain..the anguish..the hopeless feelings and
most importantly Your WILL the most important gift you can give You..I am powerless over my addiction..the day that it
brought me to my knees..the morning that I cried out.and thought of closing my eyes when driving down the highway after an
alnight casino stay..and losses.entered my mind...because I too felt hopeless..and just wanted to give up...thinking it would
just be easier...(((((TOM)))..but ya know what?...Your life is sooo Precious dear Friend..You are worth
everything..anything..whatever it takes to recover from this addiction. Giving up our Will to a HP greater then our
selves..opening up your Heart as you've so shared this soooooo good..such a wonderful step..and taking another
step..and seeking all the help you can muster..seeking out your doctor..treatment centers..and being soo willing to give GA and
this Program another chance to help you...soo much of what we gain out of any program or what we are soo WIlling to
give of ourselves too, surrendering that Will.that strong control..that says my way is better then yours..trusting and having
Faith that people along time ago..seeked help..and created this 12 step get help.and its helped many thousands of
people since then..which gives us that HOPE.that it has worked...and sooo is worth that seek what has so worked for
others...Its a program of 12 Steps..a beautiful one..with good and caring people like you and me..not perfect..but has been
proven to work..for so many before me...that soo makes me what to Hold on part of..hold on to these
precious people..because..there..I am not alone..we can connect with common illness..we can grow and learn together..we can
learn how to live Enjoy our change in us..those very emotions and thinking that
takes us to the fantasy world of gambling..Their is soo much HOPE (((TOM))))..just search deep down in your soul.....and I
believe you will find that inner desire to do what you need to do for you...reach out to those who sooo care..Your HP(GOD) of
your understanding..the fellowship of men and women who so understand..and want to be there for you..and be sooooooo ever
WILLING..because dear Friend..You are soooooo WORTH it!! You are sooo Precious in my HP((GODS)eyes..a
BIG((((((TOM)))) all ((((((SHASHAS LIST))))).. ((((((MILESTONERS))))..together..we take odaat..we give thanks because
we ARE here and living this life Today..whatever challenges..hard stuff.. we Let Go and Let God soooo take care ..and we do
what we can do..the best we can..Today..and have Faith...that all will be well..just fine..because we do:) God bless you all..and
the Gift of YOU!!! ysir, love Joni B

From: Nebr
Last Day Gambled: 7/08/00 Grateful

Dal B. Sunday, 3/30/03, 5:07 AM
Good Morning, Today is just a day...One day, 24 hours. But, it is special, like many are. Today is 90 for me and I'll admit, I
have been thinking of gambling. The desire to go 90 days, has not been really easy, but I have done it. I kept my promise to
myself._________Now what? Do I make a vow of "90 Days NMW (No matter what)"? ___________ Or, do I say "Hey, this was
done, now I can play normally"? _______ Heh! I know the answer to the latter, I am a compulsive gambler, I CANNOT EVER
gamble "Normally" again. Sure, I MIGHT rein it in for a few weeks or months. But soon, it will destroy me. ___________ I
know some might think "Dal, go onto Step 4 as Step 3 seems to be causing problems" _________ I'd agree, but looking into
my past, I see that many things I have done "Half-assed" and thus, they didn't go well and so. It's standing at the wall,
chipping away.... ___________ In any case, I do say "Today, I will not gamble" And so, my life continues. (((((HUGS))))) Dal
(To vow or not...Does it matter?) B.

From: Vancouver, WA
Last Day Gambled: 12/31/02

Sunday, 3/30/03, 4:52 AM

Date: Sun, 30 Mar 2003 Today's thought is: Do your best and leave to God the rest. -- Proverb Turning It Over There comes a
time in facing a challenge when we have done all that we can, and still the situation remains unresolved. This is the time to
turn the problem over and release our cares into the hands of spirit. When we let the Universe take charge, anything becomes
possible. God can do for us what we could not do for ourselves. If you find that you have reached such an impasse, try the
following: in your mind's eye place the problem upon an imaginary altar. Then say, "I turn this over to you, spirit. From now
on, you are in charge." As you walk away, know that all is in Divine hands. Despairing of ever getting published, a young writer
used this approach: he placed his manuscript on his inner alter and moved on to another project. Two weeks later, the book
was accepted by a major publisher for a substantial advance. Turning to his agent he said, "I want to thank whoever is
responsible, because it certainly wasn't me." It is good to realize that we do not have to do everything alone. Help is available.
Invisible hands come to support us at the right time. As the psalmist assures us, "Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall
sustain thee." * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Today's meditation comes from the book Listening to Your Inner Voice by
Douglas Bloch copyright 1991 sharing..ysir, love Joni B

Sunday, 3/30/03, 4:48 AM

Reflection for the Day...Absolute humility means freedom from myself, freedom from the demands that my character defects
place so heavily upon me. Humility means the willingness to discover and carry out the will of God. Although I do not presume
to attain such a vision, just keeping it in my heart helps me know where I stand on the road to humility. I recognize that my
journey toward God has barely begun. As I shrink in self-importance, I may even find the humor in my former pomp and ego-
tripping. Do I take myself to seriously? Today I Pray..May the grandiosity that is a symptom of my addiction be brought back
into proportion by the simple comparison of my powerlessness with the power of God. May I think of the meaning of Higher
Power as it relates to my human frailty. May it bring my ego back down to scale and help me shed my defenses of pomp or
bluster or secret ideas of self- importance. Today I WILL Remember...Humility is freedom Sharing..A Day at a time..GA..THE

Sunday, 3/30/03, 4:37 AM

The HUB would like to Congratulate All those reaching another Milestone!!Laurie A 9-30-96..Nila M. 8-30-99....Barry D. 9-30-
00..Darlean A. 11-30- 01..Rob T. 12-30-01..Lena C. 1-30-02..Jim. 3-30- 02..Sandi T. 4-30-02..Joanne Gonzales 8-30-02..

Tino Sunday, 3/30/03, 1:13 AM

Balance my theme this week is balance. I decided to take 5 days off work and rest my body and brain. I started to get sick of
working all the time and that is not right so balance. I am going to put my head back on and just chill for 5 days. Fun thing is
my wife will be working so I get to be the house dad which is cool. Just came to give some hugs to those that need it or want

From: Las Vegas
Web Site:
Last Day Gambled: August 28th 2002 +one test

Tom F Sunday, 3/30/03, 12:42 AM

My name is Tom F and I ama compulsive gambler. I dont even know what to say anymore. Once again I have turned my life
into hell. Yes hell, that is where I am now. I got paid yesterday, for two weeks worth of work. I took out two hundred dollars
and paid my tax preparer to do my returns. I had a long period between last pay check and this one as I blew most of my past
pay on gambling. Yesterday after I did my taxes I passed an off track betting parlor and went in and lost almost 400
dollars.Today I went for breakfast, and did some chores and passed the Off track parlor again. I used my cash card and lost the
remainder of my pay. Everything. There is a period of another 12 days before I get paid and I have nothing. Zilch. This is my
life. I have done it again. In the morning I am going to have to borrow 200 dollars from my mother. I dont want to do this but I
have no choice. I fell like a roach. My rent is due for this month and I still owe part of last months rent. My electric bill is due in
a week. My cable bill is due this week. What is my life coming to. All to watch horses chace each other, trying to make a score.
Or casinos which I have stoped going to for a couple of months. My life is empty. My wife left me last year. I dont have many
real friends left. I have nothing. I guess the last two years have really affected my life. I had a great business going, but
September 11th put a real fork in it. I counted on this money for gambling. And it fed my addiction. Many of my customers in
the city went belly up or cut back on the services I performed after 911. Right now I owe out of $40,000/ Yes $40,000. I dont
know how I can pay this off but I am going to have to try to figure this out. My credit is shot, you can put a fork in it. Reality is
really starting to hit me hard. Somehow I think in my sick mind I am going to make a big score and pay it all back. But tying to
make this score I keep going deaper and deaper in the hole, I am really starting to get tired of life. It is empty, soemtimes I
really feel like checking out. Maybe it is the easy way to go. I have tried Ga, but after a couple of months I got tired of hearing
the same thing all the time, or got bored of not going to the casinos, I really dont know which is first. The only real time I feel
alive or have energy is when I am in action throwing craps or playing the horses. I look around the off track betting parlor
sometimes and say look at all these low life sick people in here. I think I am different at least in physical appearance. But I
know deep down I am the same. I feel like I am the only person in the world who is deling with this in my ife. I know I am not.
Is there anyone who is going through the same thing I am going through. Is there anyone who has really goten help in
stopping this madness. I need help. I really need help. I can go no lower, not one bit. I cant take it anymore. I really cant. I
just want to go to sleep and never wake up to the reality of the mess I am in. Is there life without gambling. Is there. Can I say
I am never going to step foot in Atlantic City Casinos or the mohegan sun casino again. Can I really think I will bee able to fix
this financial mess I am in right now. Is it possible. I guess coming here right now is the only help I have, thats it. I am
thinking about attending a meeting tommorrow, but I dont know if I can face these people again. They must say look at this
sorry looser. tapped out again. I dont know what to do. Or should I just go to work and keep my mind buy on making my
living. I dont know. If there is anyone who is in the same situation or has been in the same situation, please .I beg off you to
offer me a way or guidance. I am really rambling here, I am sorry. I am going to look at more posts and try to

From: New York Queens
Last Day Gambled: none

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