Yoon_collage edited by strickland by fanzhongqing


									Rough draft
Rebecca Yoon

         I. Elphaba was a normal girl. Like any other girl, she came from a normal family of a

normal town, and attended a normal school in a normal city. But a few idiosyncrasies separated

her from the rest of the society: first, she exhibited an inexplicable gift and talent for witchcraft,

and second, she had green skin. As repulsive as people found Elphaba’s skin, society—the

townspeople, friends from school, and even her family—slowly alienated from the rest of

society, leaving Elphaba a lonely, depraved child, soon to grow up as the infamous Wicked

Witch of the West. Then on the other side of the magical world lived lovely Galina. Like any

other girl, she also came from a normal family of a normal town, and attended a normal school in

a normal city. But a single brilliancy singled her from the rest of society; she was extraordinarily

pretty. Everyone loved Galinda. She was not as bright as Elphaba nor had she a lovely

personality as her; but it did not matter to the world, because Galinda had the ultimate weapon:

beauty. Naturally, society idolized Galinda, and despite her wickedness and stupidity, everyone

adored her. After graduating from the same high school Galinda and Elphaba went separate

ways. Elphaba joined the forces of evil—predictable for a girl so green—whereas Galinda

reputed herself as the “good one;” the charming, beautiful witch who does nothing but good. The

mere sight of Elphaba and her sister terrorized the land, while with a mere flash of smile, an

amicable wink, and a gentle wave of her glittery wand, Galinda seemed to remedy all pains and

sorrows inflicted by the green faced devil. A few years later, a naïve girl named Dorothy enters

the land of Oz, accidentally killing Elphaba’s sister and Elphaba herself along the way. Elphaba

and her sister’s deaths are celebrated, while Galinda, now Glinda, basks in the adoration of the

munchkins. The uglier witch is always unquestionably the evil one, hence the reason why
everyone hated and feared Elphaba. The world of Oz had equivocated good to beautiful and bad

to unattractive, but yet they never bothered to look at the situation through the eyes of reality, but

rather they had built up their own stories and fantasies based on the facades of the two witches.

And Elphaba had been a victim of such unwarranted prejudice.

       II. Michael Jackson is indeed one of the greatest pop star ever lived. He lived a fabulous

lifestyle: with an extraordinary voice and dance moves, a personal mansion adorned with a

personal theme park, and a wardrobe closet millions would die for. I, a mere 10-year-old when

first introduced to this musician, envied him to death. From my naïve perspective, Jackson did

not have any worries; his face may not have been too attractive, but fans still loved him, because

his fashion and amazing dance skills would make up for it. He was on the top list of every single

party in New York, and life seemed pretty easy for him; no studying, no parents nagging him all

the time, and no need to worry about going to an Ivy League. Back then, I only saw opulence in

Michael Jackson’s life, a life with no worries or sorrows. 4 years later came the year 2009, and a

shocking news that Michael Jackson had died from a heart attack struck me. Unable to believe

this tragic reality, I watched the news every single morning, hoping that my idol would

magically come back to life. It was then that I learned the true life of Michael Jackson, and it was

definitely not a life that I had imagined 4 years ago. Convicted with a false accusation of child

molesting and his reputation tainted and ridiculed due to his numerous trials of plastic surgery

prior to his death, Jackson had lived a difficult personal life which was hidden underneath the

lavish parties and bright lights flashing him onstage. Foul is fair and fair is foul—Jackson had

lived a double life all along. Shown through the media to society was his extravagant, carefree

lifestyle that many fantasize, whereas his reality was a grimmer picture than the one delineated

by his façade.
       III. A few years after Galinda and Elphaba’s graduation from high school, they leave

together in search of the Wizard of Oz to ask him for help on saving the animals, who had lost

all abilities to speak and think rationally. Prior to leaving the for the wizard, Elphaba has a love

affair with Fieyro, whom Galinda had eyed for a while as well. Leaving her love behind, Elphaba

barks upon her quest with Galinda to finding the wizard. Elphaba then learns that the wizard had

been behind the terrorizing of the animals, and as a result she turns toward the more powerful

witchcraft to fight against the wizard and free the animals. Galinda, unable to leave behind her

popularity, decides to stay. The wizard, immediately threatened by Elphaba, turns all of Oz

against her, warning them that she had turned evil. Behind the conventional story of Elphaba

being the ugly evil witch lies reality, a reality in which she had sacrificed her own reputation in

for the better of the society. Galinda, on the other hand, has a past that she had shunned for the

rest of her life; the past in which she was actually the cowardly, mean-hearted devil who refused

to give up her popularity for saving the animals from complete disintegration. But of course the

past was the past. The wizard and Galinda had erased the reality to maintain their reputation—

and the munchkins and Ozians were willing to believe a made-up reality.

Rebecca! I really like the reference to Macbeth when talking about Michael Jackson. The quote

you used was relevant and definitely worked in the context of your narrative. I also really like the

way you portray Jackson and the organization of the essay, with one narrative beginning and

ending the piece and the other in the middle. It doesn’t jump around too much and you provide

enough detail to support each section. If I were you I would go back over each section and

maybe rearrange the wording in a few sentences because some sections are oddly worded, and

watch for linking verbs! I really like it, you’re doing great!

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