Successful_Parenting_After_Separation

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					Title:
Successful Parenting After Separation

Word Count:
562

Summary:
Separation is a challenging time for many parents because it is an
adjustment to a new way of life


Keywords:
children,move away,visitation,divorce,marriage,legal


Article Body:
Separation is a challenging time for many parents because it is an
adjustment to a new way of life. There are both positive and negative
factors to separation and the corresponding changes, but one of the
issues that can arise is the differences that parents may have in the
ways that they parent the children. The key point or focus that parents
need to address is that they must put the best interests of the children
first, and that their role is to continue to be the best possible parents
to their children, even though they no longer live in the same home.

In order to put the interests of the children first parents that are
separated need to consider the following issues, and determine how they
can accomplish the goal of putting their kids first and provide love,
safety and security for their children.

<b>Communication</b>

Maintaining the lines of communication is critical to continue
successfully parenting the children. Many incorrect assumptions are made
that the other parent is aware of scheduling changes, school events,
outings or other issues affecting the child. Often parents expect
children to be the messengers between them, and this is a very difficult
and emotionally harmful role for you child to have to play. Parents
should discuss and determine a method that will allow them to continue to
communicate about the children and to work together to make decisions in
the best interests of the kids. This communication may be done by fax,
email, voicemail, phone calls or
face-to-face meetings, depending on the level of comfort or conflict.

<b>Flexibility</b>

No matter how carefully you plan or schedule your life there are always
things that come up out of your control. As parents it is important to
realize that this can happen for you, your ex-spouse and your children.
Try to be as flexible as possible and allow the other parent and the
children to have time together whenever possible.

<b>Joint decision making</b>
If you are able to communicate as coparents it is important to keep in
mind that joint decision-making is usually in the best interests of the
children. For difficult or major decisions it is helpful to get the other
parent's input and opinion to prevent further conflict down the line.
Most parents want to be a part of their children's lives even if they
don't live in the same home as the children, and using a joint decision
making process helps them stay connected to the children and helps to
provide a sense of security for the children.

<b>Stay positive about the other parent</b>

It is important to allow the children to have the most positive
relationship that they possibly can with both of their parents. The more
positive, respectful and civil that Mom and Dad can stay with each other
the more comfortable, secure and stable the children will view their new
lives. Children need to understand that separated parents are still Mom
and Dad, and will still continue to be a part of their lives, even
thought they live in different homes or even in different communities.

Keep explanations to children as simple as possible, and avoid any
negative comments about the other parent. As separated parents stay
flexible, communicate openly about the children and allow maximum contact
between your children and the other parent.

				
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posted:5/2/2012
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