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					1
                  DISCLAIMER

The jokes collecTed in This e-book are conTribuTed by people
all around The world. we are claiming no copyrighT on
mosT of The individual jokes found in This e -book. mosT of
Them are, To The besT of our knowledge, in The public domain.
iT is possible ThaT some of The jokes wiThin The collecTion
are acTually copyrighTed. if There is any unfair misuse
of copyrighT in This e -book, iT was noT willful. conTacT
supporT@TinTumon.com and we will remove iT.


This collecTion is copyrighT © 2009 by TinTumon.com.
all righTs reserved. we are noT claiming This for The jokes
on This book. we are claiming an “ediTor ’s” or “collecTion”
copyrighT.
                        1
              Tintumon in Bus

Busil vadi kuthi nilkunna oru vayassan seatil irukkunna
tintumonod “mon enne onnu sahayikkanam”

tintu: ”aa vadiyingu thannekoo,njan pidicholam”
                         2
                Dr.Tintumon

“MBBS” passaya Tintumon adhyamaayi operation
cheyyan thudangumbol daivathod prarthichu:

“Joly kittiyathinte 1st gift itha njan angot ayakkunnu.
sweekarikkane.”
                    3
              Frank Tintu

Teacher: Now tintumon, Tell me frankly. Do you say
prayers before eating?

Tintumon: No sir, My mom is a good cook!!
                       4
             Chemistry genius

Tintumon : Eureka , I have found out the chemical TOILET

Calcium Cupric Sulphide…

To be precise , CaCuS ….
                     5
                Vazhipad


Tintumon ambalattil vazhipad counter Q vil..

Munnile uncle : shambhu, thiruvatira, paalppaayasam.

Tintumon: Hans, break dance, chickenbiriyani…!
                      6
                Pranayam


“Nashtappedam pakshe pranayikkathirikkaruth”-kamala
surayya

“Pranayikkam pakshe thalayil aavaruth”-TINTU MON
                      7
          Tintu’s beach visit..


A man jumped into sea and never came out….

Nxt day, 2 men jumped into sea and never came out…

Tintumon after watching this concluded that:

MAN IS SOLUBLE IN WATER..!!
                           8
           Tintu’s Temple Visit

Tintumon: The youth nowaday is getting Worse!!

Friend: Y do u say that?

Tintu: I was in Temple, When a Guy next to me lit a
Cigarette from the Aarathi. I was Shocked and almost
dropped my Beer Bottle!!
                        9
                Strong Love

Tintumon to girlfriend:- “Theegolangal panju vannalum,
Kodumkattu veeshi adichalum njan ninne swantham
aakkum…..

Girlfriend:- naale varumo chetta?

Tintumon:- Nokkatte mazha illengil varam…
                       10
                    Professor

A professor to tintumon: “what is attention deficit
hyperactive disorder?”

tintumon: “JIMBALAKDI BAMBA”

professor: “i dont understand anything”

tintumon: “same 2 you”
                     11
                Sandwiches

One day tintumon went into a pub with his girlfriend
Tintumol and after ordering two

drinks took some sandwiches out of their pockets and
started to eat them.

“You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here,” complained
the pub-owner.

So they exchanged their sandwiches…!!
                      12
                 Similarity


Teacher: What is common between Gandhi, Budha,
Krishna and Jesus…?

Tintumon: They were all born on public holidays
                       13
                 New Boyfriend

Tintumon : My girl friend broke up with me and sent me
pics of her with her new boy friend.

Appukuttan : Really bad.. what did u do??

Tintumon : I sent that pics to her dad :)
                    14
                    SSLC

SSLC 10 vattam ezhuthi thotta Tintumon thante PEN,
examination board nu ayachu koduthu.. Oppam oru
kurippum:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
“Aayudham vechu keezhadangunnu!” :D
                       15
                 Group photo

Classinte Group photo eduthathinu sesham athu vangan
kuttikale motivate cheyyunna teacher

Teacher: Ningal ellavarum valuthayikkazhinjal ningal
ee photo nokki santhoshikkum. Appol mathrame
ningalkithinte vila ariyoo..

Oral parayum.. ithu ramu.. ivan innu doctor aanu.. ithu
kuttan… ivan ippol americayilanu…

Pinnilathe benchil ninnu Tintumon: Ithu teacher.. Iyal
thattippoyi.
                        16
                   Sangathi

Achan:Ethenthaadaa nee 5 kilo ulli vangikkondu
vannathu?

Tintumon:Njaan naale pattu paadaan pokuvallai?

Achan:Athinenthinaada ulli?

Tintumon:Achan kettittillai Star Singeril sangathi
ulleennu varanam eenu paranjathu..
                        17
                   Water

Teacher:What is the formula of water?

Tintumon:
H2MgClNaClHNO3CaCO3Ca(OH)2SnTnHg NiHCl(COOH)O

Teacher:What is this?

Tintumon: This is Corporation Water!
                      18
              Techy Tintumon


Teacher: Write a C program to prevent TITANIC from
sinking..

Tintumon:Declare the variable TITANIC as float…!
                        19
                    Mother!


Father to Tintumon: Why can you not think every woman
as your mother?

Tintumon: I can, but if i did so, what will people think of
you?
                      20
                     Petrol

Friend: Entha ithra vegathil angottum ingottum
odunnath?

Tintumon: Brandiyanennu karuthi nhan petrol
eduthukudichu. Athu oditheerkkukayanu!
                     21
                     Goa

Teacher:Tintumon,Where is your native place?
TintuMon: checkoslovakia.
Teacher:Tell me the spelling…

(kure neram alochichathinu sesham tintumon)

Tintumon:Patticheeee…….!!!!!!
my native place is GOA..
                       22
                     Theater

Chicken Biriyani kazhichittu cinema kaanaan poya
Tintumon veetil madangi vannu.

Tintumon : “Ini orikalum cinema kanan chicken thinnittu
kerilla”

Didumol : “Enthu patti ?”

Tintumon : “Vayattilulla kozhi vare koovi …”
                    23
           Tintumon as god

Tintumon: appurathe veettukar enne daivamayitta
kanunne.

Amma: athu ninakkengane manassilayi?

Tintumon: Njan avarude veetilekk chennappol avaru
parayukaya……

“DAIVAME, NEE PINNEYUM VANNO…!!!”
                       24
                      Stupid

Tintumon went to his Dad’s Friend’s home late night.

Uncle offered him to Sleep in Baby’s room.

Tintumon refused because the Baby might Cry at Night
and went to sleep in the drawing hall.

Next morning he saw a Beautiful young Girl at the
breakfast table,

Tintumon : Who are you?

The girl replied,”I am Baby and You??”

Tintumon : I am a Stupid!!! :p
                     25
                    Dosa

Teacher: Name the liquid which changes to solid when
heated

Tintumon: Dosa
                           26
            Tintumonoda kali

To be is to do(Socrates)

To do is to be(Plato)

To be or not to be(Shakespeare)

Aaha angane vittal pattuo..Scoo be do be dooo(Tintu
mon, LKG)……..
                        27
                   Sign Board

Tintumon was asked to write a sign board for the traffic
near the school.

He wrote
“Drive carefully! Don’t kill the students, wait for the
teachers”
                      28
                      Exam

Achan: Exam inu nee thottal ini enney achaa ennu
vilikkendaaa….

Kurach divasam kazhinju…..

Achan: Enthayeda result???

Tintu mon:-Aliyaaa sorry daaa…..5 subject il potty
machu!!
                      29
               Sleep with dad

Tintu: Im sleep with dad last night

Teacher corrects him: no..no..I slept with dad last night
.
.
tintu: appo njan urangikazhinjayirikkum teacher vannath
alle..?
                     30
         Achante upadesham

Achan: Daivam thamburan Molinnu vilichal
nammalellavarum ponam tintumone….

Tintumon: Daivam thamburan molinnu vilichal moli
mathram poya pore acho…??
                   31
                 Mandan

Teacher: “Eee classil mandanmar undenkil ezhunnettu
nilku”

Aarum ezhunnettilla. 10 second kazhinjappol Tintumon
ezhunnettu.

Teacher: “Oho… Ne mandanano ?”

Tintumon: “Teacher ottakku nilkunnathu kandappol
sankadam thonni”
                   32
                  Motta

Teacher: Namukku motta tharunna ethenkilum 4
jeevikalude peru parayu?

Tintumon jumped and said:
“Physics miss
English miss
Maths miss
Social miss!!”
                    33
            Tintumon’s Diary

14-11-2009: Nhan avalod oru poo chodichu.

Aval oru poochedi thannu.

15-11-2009: Avalod oru page chodichu.

Aval oru book thannu.

16-11-2009: Avalod oru umma chodichu.

Umma mathramalla…….

uppayum angalamarum koodi nallonam thannu……
                      34
         Chandranil vellamundu

Vartha..” Chandranil vellamundu-ISRO”

TINTUMON: pedikkenda, athu pandu NEIL ARMSTRONG
kulichappo oorivacha mundaayirikum…
edukkan marannu kanum!!!
                      35
                   Cigarette

Achante munpil ninnu cigaratte valikunna tintumonodu
achan.

“Enthada ithu ? Achante munpil ninnano cigarette
valikunnathu ? ”

Tintumonte cool marupadi – “Achanalle … petrol pump
onnum allallo ! “
                     36
        Tintumon in classroom

Classil urangunna tintumonod
Teacher: uushmav alakkunna upakaranam etha?

Tintumon: Chatukam

Teacher: nhan entha chodichath?

Tintumon: uppumav ilakkunna upakaranamalle
teacher….
                      37
                      Puli

Tintumon went to forest with his friend ,

pettenne oru puli munnil chaaady.!!

friend puliyude kannil mannu variyittu.

Friend: oodikko??

Tintumon: njan ethina odunne nee alle mannu vaary
ittathu..!!!
                     38
               Red Beautiful

Teacher: nigalude achande name englishil parayamo?

Tintumon: RED BEUTIFUL UNDERWEAR

Teacher: Appol,Entha Achande Sharikula name

Tintumon: SUDERLAL SHETTI
                      39
                PTA meeting

Tintumon: Dad, there is a small PTA meeting at school
tomorrow…..

Dad: Wat do u mean by a small PTA meeting ?

Tintumon: its… just u, me & the Principal !
                       40
             Traffic sign board

Teacher : entha classil ethan vaikiyathu?

Tintumon: Traffic sign board kaaranam.

Teacher : Enthu sign board?

Tintumon : road side il ezuthi vachathu “School Ahead,
Go Slow.”
                    41
                Indicator

caril pokunna achan tintumonod:”indicator
kathunnundo?onnu nokku”

tintumon:”undu…illa…undu…
illa…undu…illa…undu…illa…
undu…illa…”
                     42
              Medical shop

Tintumon in medical shop
Tintumon:- chetta! chumakulla oru marunnu tha.

Shopkeeper:- tonikkano?

Tintumon:- ‘Tony’kalla ente ammakkaa…
                     43
                    Rajesh

Tintumon: a rajesh enne thalli,ini thaliyal njan shemichu
enu varilla

Achan: nee mashodu paranjille?

Tintu: Hmmm…………avan thanneyanu ee rajesh!
                     44
                  Revenge

Achan: eda tintuve…..nhan ninne vazhaku parayumbol
ninaku feel aaville..appol nee ninte vishamom mattan
enthu cheyum ?

Tintumon: njan veetile toilet nallapole vrithi aakum

Achan: athu kond ninte vishmom engane marana??

Tintumon: Nhan Toilet vrithi aakunath Achante
toothbrush kond aanu!!!
                     45
                   Good News

Tintumon : Achaa,Oru santhosha vaartha undu!

Achan : Entha ?

Tintumon : Achan Paranjille njan ee thavanthe exams
enkilum pass aayaal enikku 1000 Rs tharaamennu !!!!

Achan : Uvvu !!!

Tintumon : Achante 1000 rs poyitilla….happy aayeelle…?
                      46
                      Auto

Autoyil ninnirangiya tintumon:ethrayayi

Driver:100 roopa
tintu mon 50 roopa koduthu,appol choodaya driver:ivide
vare sughich irunnallo ennit 50 roopayo

Tintu:thaanum ivide vare sughich irunnathalle,thante
paisa enthina njan tharunnath
                        47
              Chemistry Class

Teacher : What is “Al2 O3 ?

Ramu : Alumina.

Teacher: Tintu, What is ‘Fe2 O3 ?

Tintumon : “Filomina”
                      48
         Tintumonte Kalyanam

Tintumon: Njan ninte veetil poyirunnu,nammude
kalyanam nadakkumennu thonnunnilla …

Tintumol :Endha, Achane kando ?

Tintumon: illa, ninte aniyathiye kandu.
                       49
   Tintumon and bus conductor

Bus Cunductor: Why are you standing near the door, is
your father a watchman?

Tintu Mon: Why are you always asking for “Chillara”, Is
your father a Beggar ??
                     50
            Tintumonte Budhi

Vakkyathil Prayogikkuka

“Kriyathmagam”

Tintumon: Teacher classil Kriyathmagam enna vakkinte
artham chodhichappol aarum onnum mindiyilla… !!!

Tintumonoda Kali…
www.tintumon.com

				
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