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Clothed-Minded by ProQuest

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"So I come home and they show me the suit," his father says, "and it's a perfectly fine, navy suit with a white shirt and a red-andblue striped tie. I was surprised, because I thought it looked a little boyish. [Jake] tries it on and I say, 'Do you like it?' and he nods and shrugs and says, 'It's fine.' I realized that my wife had picked it out and told him that it was what he should wear. But I wanted Jake to pick out his own suit and feel really great in it."Boys definitely have opinions and preferences about clothes. "What's really interesting for me to watch is how the boys will quietly say, ? like this color,' or ? like this pattern for the tie,' and the parents are surprised that he has an opinion at all," [Bonnie Greisler] says. "It's a time when boys start to express their personal style, and it's wonderful to watch boys learn to communicate with their parents on this level."Of course, that requires parents to be listening. "Sometimes, mothers come in and are very domineering," said one of the sartorial experts. "It can be, 'Here's what he's wearing, and I want his tie to match my dress.' With women like that, it's all about them and not about the Bar Mitzvah boy."

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