Lump by P-PiePress

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Meet a kid so bad, he gets a lump of coal every Christmas...and likes it! Neighborhood bully Buzz Scanlan takes pride in his annual lump, which he sees as a black badge of badness. But this Christmas, when the coal doesn't come, the ten-year-old holy terror becomes a bad boy on a mission. He roams from one victim of his wicked mischief to the next, digging for dirt on the one nice thing he must have done to deserve no coal for Christmas. When everyone agrees he's been nothing but naughty, he nearly gives up the hunt...until he stumbles onto the shocking truth behind his lumps of coal, an incredible secret that just might change his life forever. Will Buzz get his lump after all, sealing his fate as the ultimate bully? Or will solving the mystery lead to a fate worse than death for the naughtiest boy, an unexpected good deed that breaks his not-nice record? After this Christmas, nothing will be the same for the kid who loves lumps of coal. Don't miss this fun and funny Christmas tale with a twist from award-winning author Robert T. Jeschonek, who was nominated for the British Fantasy Award. Expect the unexpected in this fresh new holiday classic for all ages, the perfect gift for the e-book reader in your family.

More Info
									Lump
Author: Robert T. Jeschonek



Edition: 1
Description

Meet a kid so bad, he gets a lump of coal every Christmas...and likes it! Neighborhood bully Buzz
Scanlan takes pride in his annual lump, which he sees as a black badge of badness. But this Christmas,
when the coal doesn't come, the ten-year-old holy terror becomes a bad boy on a mission. He roams
from one victim of his wicked mischief to the next, digging for dirt on the one nice thing he must have
done to deserve no coal for Christmas. When everyone agrees he's been nothing but naughty, he nearly
gives up the hunt...until he stumbles onto the shocking truth behind his lumps of coal, an incredible
secret that just might change his life forever. Will Buzz get his lump after all, sealing his fate as the
ultimate bully? Or will solving the mystery lead to a fate worse than death for the naughtiest boy, an
unexpected good deed that breaks his not-nice record? After this Christmas, nothing will be the same for
the kid who loves lumps of coal. Don't miss this fun and funny Christmas tale with a twist from award-
winning author Robert T. Jeschonek, who was nominated for the British Fantasy Award. Expect the
unexpected in this fresh new holiday classic for all ages, the perfect gift for the e-book reader in your
family.
Excerpt

Buzz Scanlan, the ten-year-old terror of Titusville, Florida, slammed down the lid of the white metal
mailbox on the front of his house. Then he kicked the white siding below it so hard that he left a dent in
the vinyl. And he kicked it twice more after that. Each time, the dent got deeper and his angry cries got
louder. "Not there!" He scrubbed his fingers in his jet black rat's nest of hair, then smacked the mailbox
with the flat of his hand. "It's not there!" He might have been the nastiest kid in the neighborhood, but he
was right. Buzz had dug his dirty paw through every square inch of that mailbox and found nothing. The
thing he should have found, the thing he'd been expecting, wasn't there. It was a good thing Buzz didn't
have a grenade launcher just then. He was mad enough to use it. Because for the first time in five years,
he hadn't gotten his special "present" on Christmas Eve. "Where is it?" Buzz clenched his teeth and
kicked the siding one more time for bad measure. He thought about pulling the mailbox off the house and
stomping it flat. But his mom flung open the front door before he could do it. "Buzz! What's going on out
here?" Buzz spun to face her. "Did you take it? Did you?" Mom, who was a good two feet taller than
Buzz, frowned down at him. "Take what?" "My present," snarled Buzz. "It's Christmas Eve, and it isn't
here!" Mom nodded, and the frown melted away on her pretty, oval face...only to suddenly return, deeper
than ever. "That's why you're mad? Because you didn't get it?" Buzz glared at his mom as a fresh wave of
anger rolled through him. "If you didn't take it, who did? You know, don't you?" "I have no idea, Buzz."
Mom rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "Even if I did, why would it matter?" Buzz felt the urge to
drive another kick into the siding, but he held back. "Because I need to know, that's why! I need to know
why it didn't come this year." Mom raised her eyebrows and shook her head. "You mean to tell me you
want a lump of coal for Christmas?" Buzz wrinkled up his face in his second-favorite expression—a
demonic scowl that had been known to send pit bulls running away with their tails between their legs.
"You don't understand." Mom shrugged. "We can put one in your stocking, if it'll make you feel better." "It
wouldn't be the same." Buzz glared down at his sneakers, the ones with the orange flames printed on the
sides and the holes in both big toes. Everything he wore had holes—not because his family was poor, but
because he beat the living daylights out of all of his clothes. "You're right, I don't understand." Mom
sighed. "You've been getting a lump of coal in the mailbox every Christmas Eve, with a note attached that
says what a naughty kid you are. I'd think you'd be glad it didn't happen this year." Buzz snorted and
scuffed his sneaker on the brown boards of the porch. "But why? Why would Santa stop giving me a
lump?" Mom leaned down and smiled at him. "Well, Buzz, did you ever stop and think..." She reached
out and ruffled the black rat's nest on his head. "...maybe you finally did something nice this year?" Buzz
couldn't stop the look of pure horror from clawing its way onto his face. Him? Do something good? The
thought of it made his stomach churn and his heart burn. It went against everything he lived for and cared
about and believed in. It wasn't possible, no way, no how. Or was it?
Reviews

"Robert T. Jeschonek sees the world like no one else sees it, and makes incredibly witty, incisive stories
out of that skewed worldview."

								
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