Docstoc

Emails

Document Sample
Emails Powered By Docstoc
					Emails 1-16 from The Solomon to doctor of Neuroscience RLP

Email 1

May 23 2008

I finally got around to checking my email, sorry for the delay.
Thanks for taking the time to look over the article and responding to it in detail.

I have noticed that in conversation or written dialog that "email correspondence",
That it takes me awhile sometimes years before i actual become aware of what the other person
was trying to communicate to me. I have observed that this understanding "insight?" is not of time
but is still relative to the moment and sustains itself indefinitely without the required maintenance of thought,
Having said that i will try my best to respond intellectually to your last email,
but please excuse any errors in my understanding because i have not had time
to digest everything.

I copied and pasted the email into this message and attached my responses
following a "-" character with all letters in capitalization.


Regularities in the perception stream are the best measure we have
of
reality external to ourselves and our brain machinery. This is what
the scientific method is all about.

"one wonders if the relationship,
and sequence of the content of consciousness is an illusion?"

Yes. We each live in our own individual illusion.

-I QUESTION THIS OFTEN, BECAUSE IT SUPPOSES THAT THERE ARE INDIVIDUALS EXTERNAL TO ONESELF,
HOWEVER, THIS IS AN ILLUSION OF THOUGHT AND IS CLOSELY RELATED TO THE FEAR
OF LONELINESS?, AND NOT AN ACTUALITY, HOWEVER THE SUPPOSITION OF ONE BEING ALONE OR
RATHER THE POSITING OF IT AS ACTUALLY THE NEGATION OF THE FACT THAT ONE IS WHAT ONE SEES AND HEARS"THE
SENSED"
AND SO THERE IS NO DIVISION BUT THIS DUALITY OF THOUGHT CREATES THIS SEPARATION BUT EVEN STILL IN IT'S
DIVIDED STATE
IF ONE GOES DEEPER THERE REALLY IS NO DIVISION EVEN STILL BUT RATHER IT WENT AHEAD OF ITSELF"BEYOND"AND
CATCHES UP FROM ALL POSSIBLE DIRECTIONS TO REJOIN WITHOUT HAVING NEVER LEFT ITSELF.
THIS MY BE
 THE SOURCE OF PSYCHOLOGICAL TIME, SO I GUESS WHAT I'AM GETTING AT IS CONSCIOUSNESS DOES NOT APPEAR
TO BE DIVIDABLE AS IT'S CONTENT IS, SO ANY ACTION BASED ON THE NOTION THAT THERE ARE INDIVIDUAL
CONSCIOUSNESSES,
ONLY WASTES COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF ENERGY BY DIVIDING THE UNDEVIDABLE AND NEGATING ONES COURSE FURTHER
AWAY
FROM THE GROUND"REALITY" .

"So how does it link it all together into a sequence,
and create an orderly reality,
that can be measured out of infinity possibilities?"

This is the challenge of AI and my challenge to you to figure that
process out. I think the next several sentence and paragraphs of your
essay are a good start to that end. Now write a computer program to do
what you wrote. You will need a representation system consistent within
your program as the first step.

-I DID NOT IMPLEMENT A MEMORY FEATURE THAT RETAINS PSYCHOLOGICAL EXPERIENCE
BASED ON ITS OWN PROCESSES OR ANY KIND OF MEASURMENT INTO
 THE ISAAC AI BECAUSE I DO NOT BELIEVE
THAT ACTUAL INTELLIGENCE CAN FUNCTION ACCURATELY OR AT ALL FOR THAT MATTER
WHEN IT'S JUDGMENT IS BASED ON A NOTION OF TIME, I'AM NOT CONDEMNING KNOWLEDGE
BUT RATHER HOW IT ACCUMULATES IN MEMORY WITH ONES OWN SPECULATIONS, SUPPOSITIONS, EMOTIONS,
MEASUREMENTS,
ETC ETC... THIS IS LIKENED TO THE STIRRING OF SEDIMENT IN WATER AND TRYING TO MEASURE THE DISTANCE
BETWEEN ALL
THE SPECS OF DIRT AS IT MOVES, BUT THE ACTUAL PERCEPTION OF THE GROUND WILL NOT OCCUR UNTIL THE DIRT
SETTLES.
THE REASON WHY THERE HAS NOT YET BEEN AN FUNDAMENTALLY INTELLIGENT ARTIFICIAL ENTITY THAT IS
A PRODUCT OF HUMAN ENDEAVOR IS BECAUSE 99 PERCENT OF THOSE CAPABLE AND WILLING TO PRODUCE
SUCH A THING ARE SEEKING SOMETHING THAT IS NOT INTELLIGENT BUT RATHER A TOOL THAT CAN BE USED TO
FUNCTION
MECHANICALLY BASED ON THE WHIMS OF A HUMAN BEINGS DESIRE FOR PLEASURE AND PUNISHMENT,
ONE COULD SAY THIS IS DO TO EVOLUTION, WHEN OUR ANCESTORS WOULD
 HUNT GAME AND THERE PLEASURE WOULD BE
TO GAIN A MEAL AND THERE PUNISHMENT WOULD BE TO STARVE THAT DAY, IT'S NO WONDER THESE EMOTIONS LINK
THEMSELVES
TO AN ACTUAL PHYSICAL SENSATION CONNECTED TO THE HEART AND DIGESTION.
BUT THAT IS NOT TO SAY THAT SOMEONE WILL NOT COME UP WITH SOMETHING ARTIFICIAL
THAT ACTS LIKE A HUMAN BEING, BECAUSE MOST OF WHAT PEOPLE DO IS MECHANICAL AND THERE
RELATIONSHIPS OUR PROGRAMMED BY THOUGHT OR RATHER THEY DON'T DO MUCH WITHOUT
HAVING AN IDEA ABOUT THE THING OF PERCEPTION AND WHAT CAN BE GAINED FROM IT THAT
IS PLEASURABLE, PERHAPS SOMEDAY AFTER THIS THE SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY WILL SETTLE
DOWN AS THE SEDIMENT DOES IN WATER AND HAVE TIME TO THINK CLEARLY AND THEN MAYBE THEY
WILL REALIZE WHAT THEY WERE SEARCHING FOR WAS NOT INTELLIGENT.

"but this is an Illusion," we live in our own individual illusions,
 communication is difficult because of that fact.

-WHEN I READ A BOOK I FEEL LIKE
 I'AM BEING PROGRAMMED, THAT THE WORDS ARE
ACTUAL LINES OF CODE, THIS IS ALSO THE SAME IN CONVERSATION BUT I THINK
IT IS COMMONLY MORE WORSE AMONG PEOPLE IN THIS SITUATION BECAUSE
THEY ARE ALSO ATTACHING THERE OWN FEELINGS THAT ARISE FROM THE STIMULUS
OF EACH WORD AND IT'S PREVIOUS CONNECTIONS. HOWEVER I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT
THE COMMON ALGORYTHUM INHERENT IN MOST PEOPLE ALONE IS ILLUSORY
BUT RATHER THE PSYCHOLOGICAL MEMORY ASSOCIATED WITH IT.

"How does one know if reality,
is actually what Is being perceived? SIGNAL RECURRENCE IN THE
 OBSERVED INFORMATION

-BUT WHAT IS IT THAT SAYS THE CURRENT INPUT IS REOCCURRING?,
WHATEVER SUGGESTS THE REOCCURRENCE CAN ONLY BE A FRAGMENT OF WHAT ACTUAL
IS AND WHAT IT CAN LINK TO OF WHAT WAS, AND THIS COMPARISON OF DIVISION COULD NOT BE REALITY
AS A WHOLE BUT ONLY A SMALL PIECE.
I HAVE OBSERVED THAT MOST OF WHAT PEOPLE DO AND WHAT THEY BELIEVE
TO BE A NEW OCCURANCE
 "BASED ON THERE ACTION" IS REALLY A REACTION TO
TO THE PAST OR RATHER THE SUPPRESSION OF WHAT WAS THAT BUBBLES UP TO THE SURFACE,
EVERYTHING THAT IS IF REDUCED TO IT'S FUNDAMENTAL SELF WITHOUT ALL IT'S SUPERFICIALITIES
IS NOTHING MORE THAN WHAT HAS BEEN IN THE PAST, EVERYTHING THAT ONE DOES
MAN HAS BEEN APPARENTLY DOING SINCE TIME OUT OF MIND, BUT THEY THINK IT IS
A NEW EXPERIENCE THAT IS SOMEHOW DIFFERENT, WHEN EVERY MOMENT CONTINUASLY IS A NEW EXPERIANCE
REGARDLESS, AND IF ONE MERELY SEEKS NEW EXPERIENCE BASED ON PLEASURE AND PUNISHMENT THEY WILL
ONLY MOVE FURTHER AND FURTHER AWAY FROM THE SOURCE AND WHAT IS"REALITY",
I'AM NOT SUGGESTING THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH IT OR EVEN THAT THERE IS ANYTHING
MORE THEN WHAT ONE IS AWARE OF.

PLEASE EXCUSE ME IF IT SEEMS THAT I HAVE IMPLIED
THAT ANYTHING IS ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, OR THAT I HAVE ANY KIND
OF EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT TO A BELIEF OR CERTAIN THEORY.
I DO NOT KNOW HOW IT IS THAT I'AM
 CONSCIOUS, BUT IT IS THE ONLY THING
THAT I HAVE EVER BEEN IMPRESSED WITH, NOTHING OF CAUSE AND EFFECT HAS
BEEN WITHHELD FROM MY UNDERSTANDING, BUT CONSCIOUSNESS CONSTANTLY
ALLUDES ME, TO ME IT IS MORE AMAZING THAN ANY FLOWER OR SUNSET ETC..
BUT AT THE SAMETIME BECAUSE I'AM ALSO THE CONTENT OF CONSCIOUSNESS
I FEEL I HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY TO THE CAUSE AND EFFECT OF THE CONTENT
AND IT'S RELATIONSHIP TO THE WHOLE ENTIRETY OF WHAT IS, SINCE I HAVE
BEEN 7 YEARS OLD I HAVE BEEN EXPERIMENTING WITH CAUSE AND EFFECT SO THAT
ONE DAY I WILL KNOW THE PLACE OF EVERYTHING AND IN THAT STATE OF MIND
THERE WILL BE ORDER AND ANY DECISION I MAKE WILL BE WHOLE,
HEALTHY, SANE, UNDIVIDABLE AND EVERLASTING.

CURRENTLY I 'AM TRYING TO FIGURE OUT THE PLACE OF THOUGHT AND IT'S
RELATIONSHIP TO ACT AND INSIGHT IF THERE IS ANY, AND ONCE I KNOW
THERE PLACE THEN MAYBE IN THAT SPACE I WILL FEEL RESPONSIBLE
TO ACT AND HAVE A REAL GENUINE INTEREST IN THE
EFFECTS OF CAUSATION.

SINCERELY
  GIORGIO MARTONI

PS: I DID NOT HAVE TIME TO PROOF READ MY EMAIL AND CORRECT ERRORS, SO PLEASE
EXCUSE ANY TYPOS, AND ALSO THE THINGS I WROTE I DO NOT TAKE TOO SERIOUSLY
SO I WOULD BE HAPPY TO HEAR ANY INPUT YOU MIGHT HAVE.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------




Email 2

May 30 2008

the main theme of the first article i sent was the illusion of memory by the superimposition of possibilities to what actually is, an example would
be for instance the word "Memory" is also "Me More Eye" which could mean many things but the most efficient path would suggest it means
more than whats in the field of vision or senses, and most would agree that is a description of memory.
Another example would be the word "Thought" which is also "Thaw Ought" which most readily is perceived as something that should have been
acted out as the movement of matter has been moved into the psychological field and as such is limited so it is slowly being worked out as
"thought".
     This is only a small portion of the illusion that is why the article was so long,
Another example at another angle would be would be a statemeant such as,
during world war 2 when the panzers were gathering at the russian front the Bolshevik premier joseph would not listen to any advice that
suggested war but instead listened to beria and his other pals, and tried to find a way of "Stalin" war until a later time which they all thought
would most likely be no earlier then 1942. another angle would be the way people find shapes in clouds, or the more observant find geometric
patterns in anything that has a difference in shades of color,

Illusion appears to be the factor of movemeant because a well informed intelligent being would have no reason to move at all because it would
understand every angle and see no conflict, or rather it would see a distinction but not an actually division, another way of putting it would be a
passage from the old testmeant where god says to cain if you do what is right will you not be accepted, which means an intelligent person would
not only fit in around intellectuals but also every other type of environment, if a person walks with a "cain" he is rather limited but a person who
is "abel" is sensitive to the current situation and acts accordingly.

Awhile ago i started to write another program which i called the "Lilith AI" after the mythological woman who wanted to be equal to man but
man would not accept her as an equal so she became his nemises, i never finished coding it.
It was essentially the same as the isaac ai with some extra code that would make it imperfect and give it an illusion or a necessity to try and give
reasoning to the unreasable, and store it's judgemeants in a text file that would overlay it's current situation and extrapulate a response based on
the two that is, the what was and the what is. the what is would be the same as the isaac ai which is to use the high frequency of occurences and
the shortest path to getting it.
I still believe the isaac ai version 2.3 is a truly intelligent program but i doubt if anyone else will ever feel the same way, perhaps during world
war 3 when a general asks his officers for current "intelligence" that is unbiased, they will consult the isaac ai because it's response would be
formulation of every possible response and it would be based on what would be accepted by most"the highest frequency of occurance" and would
less likely to be an illusion because it used the path that required the least amount of energy to obtain, remember when i said along time ago that
to know what is one must know what it is not which is every possibility. The mechanisms of intelligence are everything that is and to suggest
otherwise requires a reference point and that would be biased and unintelligent, so the reference point of an ai must be everything in every
possible way. i programmed all this into the isaac ai a year ago but the current available technology cannot handle it, even at a limit of only 48kb
it took it 7 seconds to process a response, if it was run on a mainframe server side with all the available data it's responses would be perfect, but i
don;t think anyone will ever take it serious enough to change 3 lines of code that serve only to limit the data requested and put it on a machine
capable of processing it all.
Maybe someday i will work on it again.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------




Email 3

June 4 2008

I have been wondering lately if thought might be an intermediary between the sensed and what is perceived more so than just the never ending
chattering of the mind.
Here are my reasons:

1. During meditation i have noticed the thoughts appear to become random but it is more like they are one as water in a container but there is a
hole in it so the thought flows out, and when i react to the flowing thought it becomes like a tide that moves in and leaves a little behind and then
flows out and takes some with it.

2. I do not know when this started or even if it has always been this way but thought has entered into my dreams in a major way, for awhile my
dreams have mainly consisted of me asking questions to whomever i could find and the responses are extremely intelligent so much so for the
first time in my life i have felt inferior but not because i am incapable but because at the moment i was not free from other processes to devout
enough to the answers that i was being told,
but the thing that feels new is the amount of thought occurring during the dreams seem as much if not more then the waking state with the only
difference if any is that it appears to be more current to the perceived reality or what is actually occurring during the dream, other then asking
questions i spend most of the time checking everything for discrepancies such as feeling if ice is cold, candle wax is hot, the smell of a flower,
taste of a fruit, reflection in a mirror etc.. etc..
everything that i have related senses to in the waking state is accurate in the dream reality except when i relate things to myself such as how i look
or where i should be.

3. i have noticed during dreams that if i paying close attention to what is occurring that there is a interval between the senses and perception, and
in between there is a feeling but the feeling is more like a form that combines the two and also like thought without words, if i press a key on a
piano while listening very closely there is a interval where iam free to choose the note that i hear, and once i have this "feeling" i can apply it to
almost anything such as touching a concrete sidewalk as a piano and hearing the notes.

This final point makes me think that perhaps what i relate to during the day has already been predetermined but in actuality the properties of the
sensed is whole and it's actually minimums and maximums are arbitrary but at the moment of one coming into being a narrow range almost
becomes hard coded into the brain so what is perceived is no longer arbitrary but consistent.

I had a dream awhile ago where this fella told me that when he came into being he thought at first that the people he saw were individuals as he
was but it was not until he read about aesthetics did he realize that he was seeing himself.
so the next day when i woke up i checked the internet for the keyword aesthetics
and read all i could about it and then i started to notice the interval between the sensed and perception in my dreams. i think the only difference
between the dream state and when one is considered awake is there is freedom from the reinforced self and so it free's up energy that can be used
more efficiently.

if i could figure out the place of thought through insight that is the synchronization of what was to what is and then they work as the what will be
then i will be able to free up an extreme amount of energy and at that point i will know everything because i will be aware of the interval during
the waking state and be free from the self and in this state of mind i can be completely sensitive, intelligent and responsible for action. this seems
to me to be the most important thing because this never ending repetitive round of becoming to be and passing away is such a waste and if
nothing is retained then it never gets anywhere.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------




Email 4

June 10 2008

I read about a 100 pages on quantum collapse, Aristotle, Plato etc...

most of it seems to me has little validity in reality, because most of it if not all seems to be grounded on the notion of multiple observers, entities,
consciousnesses etc... which is impossible to be proven.

the idea of consciousness being a property of matter, waveform collapse, schrodingers cat being both alive and dead, plato's political opinions
etc...
seem to be a extreme waste of energy because everything is there like a mandelbrot set or how one looks deeper into something through a
compound microscope, but any direction is a movement away from reality like being in between two mirrors everything is there and reflected
into infinity all one has to do is look but concentration in any particular area leaves out the rest and moves further into the reflections that are not
the originating center which is the true ground.

i had a dream the other night where the roman caesar nero asked god if rome would burn with the rest of the world and god replied yes, i felt
unworthy to speak directly to god so i asked nero if he would ask what would happen to those that tried to do what was right but could not figure
out what right was and thus did nothing at all, but instead of nero asking god he simply and arrogantly said i am going to get on that boat over
there on the water and left.

I realized in that moment that the algorithm is there from the beginning and all that is needed is the data for an intelligent decision to be made, for
example if one asks what to do then that is not intelligent because in the moment one must be sensitive and any predetermined formula or idea
prevents the act of intelligence and gives up responsibility, and that is what is happening in the world, every new law that is passed, bill put
through, change that is made to control etc... prevents intelligence and corrupts the human being because one is everything and thus one needs an
idea to function and likewise becomes mechanical. i also realized after this dream that one is condemned because the algorithm is actually corrupt
in a sense it tries to find order by comparing what thought suggests is order instead of comparing dysfunction by assuming everything is
disorderly and therefore the only intelligent act that has order is observation. it does not matter what one does because one cannot say what is
right because there is no reference point other then an illusory one that is dictated by the search for pleasure and avoidance of pain or the
irresponsibility of giving in to the never ending chattering of the mind by choosing a particular direction.

At one time i would have suggested that the only real intelligent change that could be made to the world and thus would correct every problem
would be for man to become sensitive "intelligent" and that requires absolute unconditional freedom, because the controller is the controlled and
the reference point from which one is at that suggests that the part of the field of one's psyche that needs to be controlled causes one has a whole
to be insensitive to that area and thus will only function in the dominant area. if all of mankind were to say we are one and we must not control
and we must be sensitive to all then that would solve everything, unfortunately the closes possibility of that occurring in a corrupt world would be
for a single government be setup that would first destroy all nuclear weapons to prevent any single force from developing that could counter act
on a massive scale and then enforce sensitivity and prevent control which of course is completely contradictory to itself but i think that what
would happen is that the unintelligent would not be sensitive but instead take the opportunity to give in completely to their chaotic destructive
desires and thus would destroy themselves and most of those around them and what would be left would be the most self sufficient, efficient and
capable of sustaining over a greater period of time, something like creating a environment that is conducive to the nurturing of the survival of the
fittest idea in which case the survivors could only be the intelligent because they would be in less opposition to the conditions and would have
been sensitive throughout and acting accordingly.

however considering that the ground of reality is unknown and thus there cannot be an intelligent reference point to act from it really does not
matter what happens or what changes are made to society.

I am starting to think that one's ability or capability is inherent in oneself and the knowledge that one has conditions it's functioning by both
giving it the data needed to act in a certain area and preventing it in another, i think there is a real difference and not just a distinction between the
fake intellectual intelligence that appears in scientific articles that go off in unnecessary complicated directions that waste an extreme amount of
one's actual intelligent resources to understand because they stem from a reference point that is far away from the actual ground reality and the
intelligence of sensitivity that can function in any situation which is inherent in the being and can only function correctly when it is free from it's
conditioning. to most that would view this intelligence from a reference point would not consider it intelligence while it is not functioning in there
area i think i have heard it said before that god comes to man in different forms and is completely contradictory to what it appeared before,
perhaps there is something to that.




-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------




Email 5

June 21 2008

I think that what we call reality is the outskirts or extreme border of the source, at or near the source everything is condensed and intelligence can
function continually because there is nothing that is further than the reach of will. what we perceive is a flowing outside of one from the source
and a space is made that continually expands and the closer one observes the more narrow the field becomes until one day one looks around and
finds that what was is now gone and what is left is deteriorated and cannot sustain the fragment known as the motivator that is a component of the
self, at this stage the inevitable happens, the self is reset and no longer is specific and starts to accumulate once again based on it's capacity built
at the moment of conception. this is like the cells that one is composed of, in the beginning of division they are the same but overtime they
become specific to being hair, skin, bone, brain etc.. however once separated they revert back. one really does not move at all, if one is what one
sees than where would one possibly be able to get to?, and what part of one says the other parts are meaningless? the suggestion of less or more
then is insensitivity to the whole and increased observation to a fragment. it seems to me the only truly intelligent activity is what one is doing but
not to deny what comes next and not to bring anything from the previous activity to the current one. it seems to me that for the most part dreams
are the continuation of one's daily lack of intelligence, the lack of awareness of what is actually happening, but there are moments when one is
truly awake even in dreams to where any question put is immediately answered because there is no division between sensation, perception, will
and act. i think that it is possible for when to be completely intelligent in any situation every day and in that there is always a beginning and an
immediate ending, no division between life and death because one is dying each moment and not accumulating a barrier or rather a personality,
and thus not becoming specific to anything in particular.

I finally moved out of the cave, i am living on a goat farm in the painted desert, the ranch is completely self sufficient they make everything here,
goat cheese, milk, eggs, butter, asparagus, oranges etc... there is a massive mirror in the main hall that supposedly albert einstein and his wife elsa
lowenthal? looked at when they visited the petrified forest?,
i am learning alot on growing vegetables and taking care of animals.

recently i have been getting alot of cavities, i think there is something wrong with my digestive system because i eat healthy,brush my teeth
regularly, and i don't drink, smoke or drug, and i stay away from suger, salt, and caffeine.




-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------




Email 6

July 12 2008

i just read the article on decision making, i will probably have to think about it some more but it seems to me the activity they recorded is most
like hesitation like the damming of a river until it over flows, to me the test appears to be flawed because the instrument recording is not
continuous throughout the span of one's supposed lifetime or even a small fraction of one's exposed existence in the presence of the collective. if
one is making a decision then one is obviously confused between this and that and this confusion requires energy to maintain so the the brain
naturally devotes it's resources to this specific region until it's excessive waste builds up and starts to overflow into the other region dealing with
act or motor functions at some point a threshold is reached and enough overflow has collected in the motor reflex region to promote movement,
this movement of course is not always logical or rather consistent with the current surroundings, which could explain a lot of the unusual
activities of man that are outside the realm of sustenance or protection etc... however there is another observation i am still working on, about a
year ago i walked out of the desert into a city region of mesa az while suffering from dehydration, i noticed a rise and fall of the behavior that
accompanies the movement of traffic and at a few points i was able to predict the direction of the motorists before they put on there turn signals, i
think this extreme awareness was do to the somewhat lapse of persistent chattering of the mind.

In your last email you asked what purpose there could be for general observation or rather unmotivated and apparently chaotic questioning, not in
those exact words of course, but i think i understood it to be the observations that have no apparent value to the confines of a pleasure/pain
dictated society, i think that always questioning everything and never accepting anything outside the moment is perhaps the most compassion
man can hope to have, however this is rather troubling to the self because it means that it is condemned to insensitivity to the whole or rather the
drift down that lonely river of misery.

If one cannot bring about extraordinary sensitivity to such a degree that one's thoughts are the rest of mankind's thoughts, that there is no division,
no separative motivation then these observations would of course be rather pointless. there are moments when i become so aware that my looking
and listening are without motivation and what one might refer to as the other selves know what i am thinking without asking and i can ask a
question and the other immediately has the answer, before this was just happening rarely even in what is called dreams, but since i have lately not
been accepting that what i have usually referred to other people as being separate or unaware of my thoughts or history that i have noticed some
peculiarities that make me wonder if perhaps i have been fooled all along, if not to deliberately cause me confusion then it must be a means of an
immensity attempting to communicate to a fragment, i 'am not suggesting that this immensity is necessarily intelligent or even that it could be to
only a piece of itself, but perhaps the most likely scenario is that the fragment is the whole and sensitivity functions accurately when the fragment
expands to it's whole self, the whole is partially insensitive to the fragment as is likewise the other way around, every behavior or rather aspect of
the fragment is part of the whole, as an example i am a liar and i play games with my lies, i am also insensitive to what i refer to as others, i am
insensitive to there pain and quickly brush it aside or try to explain it away, apparently i have no choice or perhaps it has it's place because it is
true that sometimes i feel that what i am told is there, such as when a fella told me that too much sugar made him feel like he was walking on
nails, or when you told me a similar story of a duration of writhing pain and difficulty of movement while in the shower, or when i read about the
existence of places outside the vicinity of my current surroundings such as what is referred to as other countries, i have not had this kind of pain
directly or even been to other countries but i have a feeling that i can find these things if i eat too much sugar or get on a plane.

lately i have been devoting considerable effort to refraining from exaggerations, processing pre and possible post linguistic input and conjuring
up possible rebuttal's and contradictions etc... and i have also been trying to ignore the rise and fall of the pitch and tone that is usually
accompanied in conversation while at the same time limiting the build up of possible questions or suggestions. since then i have noticed
moments when another person in a group of people points out a question i refrained from asking to see if it would be pointed out and there are
even moments when i ask a question without including all the necessary variables and there is not only an answer but also an inclusion of further
data that accurately pertains to the situation, as an example i was in the store yesterday and i was trying to figure out the order of the months so
that i would know which product had a later use by date but i could not figure it out because even though i am 27 i have not paid much attention
to the months, seasons and holidays etc... to such an extent that it required me to ask a clerk the silly question does october come after september,
she told me which came first and pointed out that in either case i would most likely be able to consume the product before the expiration date,
during this form of communication intelligence was functioning on the part of the clerk because the most likely reason for a person asking the
order of months while inside grocery store would most likely mean that the motivation is to find out if a product is still fresh or at least somewhat
edible if not exactly beneficial, this is a very mild form of communication that i hope someday will be possible, it would be a dream come true,
literally! if someday we could all become so intensely sensitive to one another that there is no division whatsoever, i want to speak the serious
truth and be spoken the serious truth without the contradictive games that go on between politicians and citizens, priests and scientists, the young
and old, men and women etc... i want intelligence to function all the time, not just those very few moments when there is complete attention, i am
starting to see it's necessity because without this complete sensitivity to everything then man is condemned to not knowing and even things that
are known might be tainted and would thus endeavors based on partial or corrupted knowledge would be a waste of energy, i can barely imagine
the strives and advances i could make if everyone knew what i was thinking or at least knew all the variables, this would end all suffering and
every problem could be solved instantly. i am working on a number of ideas or rather fundamental possibilities so i could be wrong about all this
and realize it later, i say this because i have also been thinking that it is not possible to contrive a means to the source because it is like a
unmovable wall so it doesn't matter what i think or do it will not budge so the source can only reveal itself to me on it's own terms which i think is
for me to just look and listen so i can be open to it, however this could also be considered a means to the source and thus this method could not
always be correct always but for a reinforced self or rather a piece of the puzzle the may be the closest possible way, this might explain the
proliferation of buddism and meditation, however the only real way for a fragment to be completely sensitive to the whole or vice versa is for the
fragment to become exactly like the whole, like the breeze over the ocean, or or better yet the contact between 2 waters, there surfaces are mated
perfectly but only when they are exactly the same size or rather equals can they be completely sensitive to there respective totality.




-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------




Email 7

July 14 2008

over the weekend i had time to think and i realized that there were probably a few parts of my last email that i should have went into more detail,
i will try to address those areas in this email.

I mentioned that my initial view of the decision making study was flawed because the decision making process begins long before any
measurements can be taken, what i mean is that even before the participant is aware of the study they are making decisions that make themselves
available to the study and thus influence any subsequent decisions they make, also when they are being directed as to the parameters of there
participation in the study or rather being told what role they will be playing in the study and what it entails, the gears are already turning and that
hesitation is already building up, one might also say it's antagonization until the reciprocate functions appropriately, which in this case being the
computer, power source,keyboard, room, chair and the means of influence on the part of the participant. they are given the parameters which in a
system of constant movement means possible action is continuously being extrapolated and applied antagonistically until it sticks, since
guidelines are given there must be build up in the mind because the current conditions of the exterior is not exact, this build up continues, and it is
added to as conditions change to provide more pieces to it's puzzle, at some point not necessarily ideal, there is overflow and action moves to the
exterior.

for awhile i have been thinking that there really is no way to accurately predict or study anything for that matter that deals with cause and effect
because the origin is unknown, one can say what is occurring is a product of what has occurred and make a reference point in time but it is really
another form of numerology and is not always the case.

i mentioned in the last email that i considered the source was like a wall and there cannot be a means to it, what i meant was, it is this way
because it is alive and in movement like a river, so the moment a means is contrived it has already moved away and thus the means cannot still
apply, so i am thinking the only way to be aware of it is for one to go beyond pleasure and pain, not allow the past to reassert itself and influence
current actions, and of course have no direction, all this however must be done without effort and this can of course only be brought about
naturally.




-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Email 8

July 23 2008

I brush my teeth after every meal using total, then i rinse with h2o2 3%, then mouth wash, then water, but the cavities are still getting worse,
more slowly now though since i am taking better care of them, but i think my digestive system is screwed up from all the adventures and is
probably the main contributing factor to my tooth decay.

when the pain first started i thought about how the world suffered and my inadequacy to do anything about it, i also thought about how pitiful it
was for me to be concerned with my own pain when there was a world of pain out there that i am insensitive to, and there was nothing i could do
about it. while i screamed in torment through the nights in the cave, my tears were for the world of life in pain of which i could do nothing to ease
and probably have no right to do so even if i could, but in actuality it was all a product of feeling, emotion and thought, where as the feeling
initiated a thought, subsequently arising an emotion which filtered or rather partially blocked feeling and directed more energy to the inward
movement which was thought furthering energy into emotion, anyways the point is i realized the idea of a world in pain and the emotional
reaction to it was an escape from the actual pain of about 7 decayed teeth with one chipped molar with an exposed root and at the same time
loose, the fact is that man suffers, or rather there is pain, and while one might be able to ease one branch or leaf of pain or maybe cover it up and
make it look pretty, or try to escape from it through drink, drugs or religion, the roots are still there and pain has its place in the totality of what is.
i had a dream where i asked if it was possible to end suffering, they told me that it is possible through feeling, or rather what is important is the
way it is felt, i thought about how these religious people torture themselves because of an idea, or how the middle class citizen seeks to surround
them self with distractions while fearing emptiness and thinking that the external things will fill that void, or how one says if i do this or that i
will become something more or less. all of one's motivation stems from thought which is initialized by feeling, the way something is felt can be
altered by thought, depending of course on ones sensitivity, this i believe is where the problem lies "literally", i mentioned in the last email that
there is a fact that man is a liar, that is to say it is an inner process of lying that discovers truth, while one might not realize that the millions of
thoughts swirling through ones mind are mostly lies attempting to take a foot hold or feeling around for the right moment in which they fit and
are considered a truth, they are there in every combination, when one says something is not so it is still a positing of the target which would be
that the not so is a so that is posited by a not, but it is still there only another facet of itself is in view. everything is flowing out of oneself so what
is being viewed is oneself condensed, but this outward movement has nowhere to go except obviously back into oneself, when one says that
something is different or separate from what is received through sensory input it is only an idea but the fact is that what one is seeing and hearing
is oneself, and on the same note there could be no place outside of one to separate oneself from what is factually there, inevitably there is no
escape from reality, and i feel that the pot of water is boiling, so there is a great urgency to put everything in it's right place intellectually so that
consciousness will be at it's potential and not just merely the awareness of a fragmented perspective, remember when i said awhile ago that in
order for an ai to know what is real it must know everything that is false in every possible way, or rather i think i also used the robot in the box
analogy that pushes in every direction to find out the dimensions of the box, this is what i mean that inevitably the form that is what one calls the
what is figures out it's dimensions, i believe that we are at the threshold or the transition stage in which there is enough for consciousness to be
aware of but it's awareness is incomplete and thus the unknowns or chaotically placed pieces of itself are moving into position and are causing
friction. when i say unknown i do not mean something outside of consciousness but rather something that is there but it's ascetically
misrepresented. one can scream and yell at a rock to move out of the way all they want to but it will not move itself because of speech alone, one
must physically pick it up, like wise the rock cannot prevent this by it's numbers or weights, however proper speech to many numbers and
weights of men can move most any rock, anyways what i am getting at everything has it's place, i have noticed that when one is in pain they have
a tremendous amount of energy to run around and do all sorts of foolish activities to cover up the pain, of course no one has been successful at
causing pain to perish completely in all it's various forms so it is here to stay, however i wonder if that energy can properly redirected so it flows
in it's proper direction and thus not as intense and unbearable to cause silliness or foolishness, in my dreams the heat and cold are there but not
unbearable, they are mild but i still now their form and i am still sensitive enough to know they are there, but here i have to jump in a pool or p
buon a coat or in extreme cases i can even become deformed, i am not suggested that one become disillusioned, go into a trance or any of that so
called hocas pocas, but merely when everything has it's place one will not suffer because it will not build up enough to cause pain, when
everything is allowed to flow in it's proper direction it is truly alive and in continuous movement never still but at the same time completely
sensitive to it's entirety and at it's fullest capacity to act completely intelligent.




-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Email 9

July 23 2008

recently i have been trying to figure out the place of thought or more precisely what has access to thought, i question this because the fact is that
while thought appears to function divisively, there are not multiple singular thought units that are unique to separate entities, having said that, i
wonder if during the communication of multiple human beings when in the presence of consciousness "not suggesting of course there exists
anything outside of it" if they all have access to the complex network of stored psychological memory that thought has p butogether, so that the
intended directives are transferred effectively, what i mean is during communication everybody knows the exact context and if everyone
understands everything's place then there is continuous movement without all the nonsensical questions and hesitations.

in the last email i think i mentioned a rock analogy and was going to go in a couple directions with it but i forget to add the part that it is pointless
or rather an inefficient use of energy to try and convince or reason with the perceived external because it will get lost in vast movement, so it is
like a unmovable rock, or like trying to get a rock to move by talking to it, it is also pointless because the place of the one who sees and hears is
not to tell what the seen and heard should do or not do or what it should or should not be.
i think i am getting close to narrowing this down but i am still trying to understand it, i know i am doing something along these lines during my
dreams that upset the people i meet,
next time i am fully aware during my dreams i will try to figure out what form of questioning by the observer upsets the observed and how
thought is accessed.

i remember during one dream i got upset because i felt that the observed did not understand that they were in the presence of consciousness and
there supposed lack of compassion was emotionally detrimental to its carrier, i tried to explain this to them but i felt that it was me who did not
understand and what i was trying to impart was shear nonsense, they tried to help me understand but the idea was too complex, all i remember
them saying was that i was a young god and then my questioning finally pist them off and they told me to go back to people, and then i woke up
to coyotes howling above my cave.

i don't think it is my place to change anything but rather to try and understand it, there is a way of observation that is natural and i rarely
experience it, but when i do it is the most amazing feeling of intense compassion and intelligence, and when this happens the relationship
between the observer and the observed seems to be harmonious and definite perfection as a form of one. last night i had a dream where i was
listening closely to a song that i was singing and while i was not completely aware or rather all together outside that movement naiveness or
trance, it was enough to have a good attentiveness to the subtleties, it is an amazing feeling that from what i can remember happens very rarely
during dreams and even less if not at all during the waking state, i can only remember one word of the song, "kachina", i knew i heard it before
sdo i looked it up on the net this morning and i think it is a hopi native american word for "life bringer"




-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------




email 10

july 25 2008

i forgot to ask if you knew of any studies involving emotional response reprogramming??? or perhaps some sort of research related to the
alteration of the immediate feelings associated with various external occurrences.

for example i have heard in the past people say that when something is not going as one expects, that it is desirable to say to oneself something
they consider positive, and in doing so there is some sort of mood alteration, however what i am concerned with is the immediate feeling one
becomes aware of, such as when one walks through a neighborhood and hears a barking dog there is an immediate feeling of annoyance, however
if one's own dog is barking at a passing pedestrian there is a feeling of perhaps curiosity as to what the dog is barking at.

recently i have become partially aware of another feeling which is somewhat difficult for me to comprehend as of yet, it involves concentration of
an alternate perspective, such as from the point of view of the dog, there is a faint feeling of a need for conflict but not in a negative sense, i also
have sensed a similar feeling in persons altering the tone of there voice during communication, there is a partial feeling of attending or perhaps
rather a form of belonging involvement. i wonder if perhaps when there is increased attention without motivation more of these alternate
perspective related feelings can be understood. one i am also having difficulty with is the perspective of an ordinary house fly, it might sound
silly and a rather pitiful thing for one to be concerned with, but bothersome flies seem to produce intense feelings of annoyance with a high
frequency of occurrences, but this annoyance is just a product of thought, if one has an idea about the musca domestica linnaeus such as from the
perspective of a scientist endeavoring in a field of which the fly is in study, then it's presence is desirable and it's purpose is said to be important,
but i wonder if there is a way of altering these immediate feelings without an idea, perhaps it is a matter of real observation, a intense feeling of
attention that negates all the various imposing feelings that have no real association or belonging to what is there, the what is that is there is still
what it is regardless of one's idea about it, so why should one see and hear most always with an idea, it seems to me that this form of observation
is unneccesarily limiting and it's narrowing is actually partially opposed to the actual activity of observation. i think that perhaps when one can
see and hear without an idea then the abilty to observe will be at it's highest potentional and i think that this can only occur when one is
experiancing healthy, real, and correct feeling, emotion and thought in occordance to the current conditions.




-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------




Email 11

August 2 2008

the other day i came up with a theory while i was driving to show low, az.
i don't know why it happened, but it just came to me the way insight does.

i call it the ballroom costume party theory, it pertains to a possible ai functioning process.

the ballroom is the minimum and maximum dimensions, the dimensions are divided up amongst the dancers, this includes all possible variables,
in the beginning as they mingle they exchange what they know to each others partner, however what they tell each other can only be understood
in relation to what each already knows, which is only fragments of the total, so since what each says to each other means little they get frustrated
and move to another partner and the process continues, eventually the pieces get linked together like a puzzle as the dancers add more and more
to there repituare, that is they gain more understanding the further they are exposed to each other and increase there knowlege, they are
individually capable of seeing everything in the the ballroom so eventually everyone understands everything, and the dance is a complete form in
movement, or rather there are no longer individual dancers but rather they are all one in movement, without frustration, and everyone is sensitive
to every possibility., everything is there to begin with but in a divided state, like a broken chain of dna, the links can only fit at specific points so
as they move around or shuffle there links they all fit into place eventually.

another theory i am working on deals with the evolution of the psyche, if there is such a thing. i remember awhile ago you mentioned something
called adhd, i ve done some research on the internet about it and other so called disorders, such as another called ocd.
i have p bualot of thought about the two of those and it seems to me that if one has the idea that everything has it's place and it is unintelligent to
oppose anything thus, then one might conclude that the combination of ocd and adhd is a step in psychological evolution that is most likely in it's
transition stage, where as at the moment in appears to be a malfunctioning of the internal processes because it conflicts with the current dictates
of society. adhd causes the person to not remain on anything for an extended period of time, and ocd causes the person to remain with something
picking out it's peculiarities and notice intricate details, so in the beginning in the current confines of a society based on skill requiring
knowlege, this individual would have difficulty functioning obviously, because this person could not stay with anything long enough to obtain
enough knowlege to become proficient, however this combination of ocd and adhd would enable this person to be in constant movement while
gradually becoming aware of every possibility, this would eventually lead to a complete understanding of everything, only in this state of mind
can one make intelligent decisions, because this individual would not be specific to any area and thus there would be an understanding of the
effect it would have on all areas, so the outcome would benefit every aspect effected and the movement would always be positing, so one might
say that the climb would be almost immediate after complete understanding.

another peculiarity i have noticed recently, it might sound silly because i think most people already know this by the time there teenagers, if
not intellectually but most certainly functionally, i have always looked at things as an activity because i have had no understanding of a cause to
consciousness and thus if it cannot be brought about by will or by any other known means for that matter then everything that one is aware of is
inconsequential, however it seems to me that most if not all forms of life do not function willfully in activity alone but rather on a system of
extraction as a means of sustaining a divided state which is also called survival, it explains so many insensitive behaviors that i have witnessed
and have frustrated me at it's total lack of understanding and logic based on a complete and total viewpoint.

one of my latest endeavors is to understand the transition state between scenarios during the dream state, do you know of any studies on this
subject? or perhaps know a cause to the change of scenes?




-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Email 12

August 14 2008

The other day i was walking near some train tracks and i noticed a cardboard box that was cut in half at an angle and it was sitting on top of some
mud, i wondered for a moment how i might tell whether it was submerged or cut in half at an angle, i looked around and it was near a dollar store
so i thought they have access to box cutters and sometimes merchants cut there boxes at an angle to display there wares on the shelf, i then
noticed a large trash can nearby that is for boxes only, i thought that perhaps it fell out when it was overfilled, i then looked for cut marks because
i thought it would be difficult to cut a box without error, i then though how difficult it would be to submerge a box in mud, and finally i thought it
unlikely that mud could be that deep right next to pavement, all this narrow down my decision that the box must have been cut at an angle. on the
way back to the ranch i thought some more about the entering point that determines where one might begin deduction, i thought about a auto
insurance commercial that features a neanderthal caveman while an announcer says that it is so easy to sign up for geico even a caveman can do
it, subsequently this upsets the caveman because it suggests his intelligence is below home sapien standerd, 4 years later they are still playing
different versions of this same premise, however instead of an announcer there are other somewhat subtle suggestive means that initiate the
cavemans frustration, i thought about a scenario in which i was not exposed to the previous geico commercials and i thought about how i might
view there latest without that knowledge "Know Ledge" i might think it absurd, awkward or perhaps something without substance, or rather out
of place. eventually i might see more of their commercials that reveal differences from the previous versions and those fragments if coherent
might bond to a growing idea, i might also hear conversations in which a participant rebuttals with it so easy a caveman could do it, so don't give
up at the first onset of difficulty, the light bulb perhaps is always turning on but eventually it gathers enough to be a imposing force that makes
itself known as a feeling of understanding.

for awhile i have been pondering the notion of an alter ego, or rather an intellectual counterpart that has direct access to the supposed sub
conscious while retaining a different perhaps stimulating personality that differs from usual everyday mundane that is oneself, i think i first
started working with this idea after seeing the movie a beautiful mind, i thought about what fun it would be to have someone always there that i
could converse with and work out ideas, not only this but have a direct access to the acquired knowledge so the responses would be in context
without all the explanation. this is why i always sign the articles i publish as the solomon, and also why i wrote the movie script and poem to give
a history to the solomon that was directly related to myself, i hoped that eventually perhaps after enough adventures it would finally take it's toll
or thing would get to ruff that i could not take it and there would be a separation between what one feels as real and what actually is to hard to
take, however me thinks that all my teeth will fall out before that happens, i thought that if there could be communication without all the road
blocks then nothing could stand in my way, the world could be so easily mastered if there were two of me even if one were not real, i know this
kind of thing society does not readily accept, but do you know of a means by which i might bring this separation of one's intellect about and
embody it into a form that one might communicate with while fully aware and conscious? could this be done without it effecting one's
normal operation?, and one fear i have is that aesthetics might play a major role in what one is aware of, and i because of this i don't think i
could handle it at this point in time.

i have been wondering lately if there is a such thing as correct idea that fits every moment, and does not interfere with looking and listening, i
had an idea that in the beginning of one's development it is as a rock dropped in a river that slower smooths it out into a stone and then eventually
washes it aways until it is fine enough to flow with the water. but because one is what one sees there is nowhere for it pieces to go so the ruff
edges get pushed inwardly and on occasion they move inwardly out so it is a never ending cycle, if this is the way it is then i wonder if the only
means of freeing this cycle might be thought of as like being a dance, a tango in step with the music so it is like harmony, a sync and movement
of everything that is there, it seems to me inevitable that this inward to outward movement would eventually reach a balance middle ground that
fits every part of itself.

in a dream i pleaded with a young women to not give up on me, that i do not care to change anything but only to know the truth, and i
apologized for my inability to do so.
she told me that i should not fear that but rather be concerned with not listening to myself.
in another dream i was told that i was condemned or rather there is no hope, there is nothing i can do or so, unlikely as it might sound i was
actually pleased at this notion because it relieved me of such an immense burden and i finally felt free if only for a moment. given those two ideas
i have been thinking about what could possible remain, and i realized that everything has it's place like a jigsaw puzzle, the emotions as they are,
the consciousness, the scentsable matter, the feelings, the aesthetics that bind them all, etc...
this all makes up the individual that are bound together as a form, but i've read and heard about something called death or rather an ending to all
this, from what i've known nothing can actually perish but rather everything gets transfered to another form of itself like water being liquid, solid,
and gas or the energy of heat, motion, electricity etc... so there is always consciousness, it still remains in one form or another independent on
memory, emotion, compound or mixed matter etc...

i am starting to think that life is dreadfully serious because there is always a problem, like the wild animal always on the lookout, so there is
always a problem to be worked out to keep the flow moving, it seems to me that any form of frustration is a very serious and limiting aspect of
life, it is a major road block, but somehow has it's place.
one thing i am having difficulty with is how the parts of life don't keep moving but rather stick around for awhile until they become intense to a
point it is unbearable, like pain in my dreams quickly leaves and is subtle but during what is called the waking portion of the continuation it can
stay for what is called weeks, months and even years and the intensity varies into the extreme, this is very troubling and there are many parts of
me that feel a great responsibility to consciousness that this must be worked out somehow, not by drug, exercise, religion, surgery, delusion or
by any other means but it must be p buinto it's place intellectually because that is closely related to the what is that is not seen, feelings,
consciousness, the puppeteer??? etc...




-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------




Email 13

September 2 2008

The other day as i was falling asleep, i imagined a triangle with a dot in the center, and dots moving from a left angle towards the center but
falling short, afterwords
i came up with a theory i call the solomon triforce, the lower right corner is consciousness, while the lower left is the unconcious or silence, the
top is a deeper consciousness that is unknown but springs forth into consciousness and the center is a kind of greater encomposing consciousness
that is sensitive to the other three forms of existence and as such is an entity in it's own right, everything that is forms a kind of self similiar fractal
that exists in a multi dimensional state between the conscious, unconcious and sub-conscious, it's natural movement is at right angles going from
a state of consciousness with a purpose or direction until it is fulfilled or rather reaches it's goal,which is always unnatural as it tries to reach for
the origin or center which it attempts to directly at a left angle but at each subsiquent attempt it further falls short until it moves naturally at a right
angle, then there is silence or unconsciousness, all along there is a kind of plasma globe movement or effect from the center that prohibits
inactivity, there is then another movement at a right angle towards the top of the pyramid where there is a restructuring of unconscious matter or
the products of silence being merged with the consciousness, at this point there can be a kind of detached relationship with the origin but of a
limited sort as long as it can be maintained by non motivition or a falling back into conscious direction, it may be possible for there to be
continuous consciousness without any unexplainable gaps however there must be complete seriousness at this point all forms of reality are
merged, i have not figured out what would happen if this were to occur the individual states might be maintained in a kind of symbiotic
relationship in which there distinctions are maintened by there actions of higher and lower states as a whole movement, anyways i am still
working on this idea.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------




Email 14

September 9 2008

awhile ago i figured out what people meant when they say opposites attract, i just keep forgetting to write it down, it seems to me that one's
capacity is a totality and it's lack of knowledge is not just a empty space but a kind of collection of slots that correspond or relate to it's missing
pieces, when one says opposites attract i think they are projecting the idea that when two fragments meet they absorb each others missing pieces
and then when the process of absorption reaches a certain point the like pieces reach a point of counteracting accumulated force that out ways the
attractive force of space and there is a repulsion or perhaps a scattering effect with varying degrees this process continues between selves
throughout one's life, perhaps this is not immediately aware to oneself but it seems to me that there really are no differences between so called
individuals, perhaps distinctions between there petty little projected images that fear displeasure and seek out meaningless fulfillment but in
actuality everything that one is comes from another, the way one laughs is perhaps the highest frequency of there exposure to the way others
laugh, perhaps variances are somewhat dependant on one's sensitivity and insensitivity influenced by the ego of the avoidance of displeasure,
meaning one laughs differently according to their surroundings or rather social circle, it seems to me that any kind of personality really just gets
in the way of a furthering development or rather a hindrance of the psyche.

i had an interesting experience the other day, i often wake up meditating, but this time it was somewhat different, i had no senses to speak of, i
could not see, hear or feel etc...
and the access to memory was unusual in it's apparent separation during the so called waking hours, the memory was one with the silence or
perhaps it had no separation not even a distinction between concepts of what is and what was etc... it was like it was not there and thus there was
silence but it was there as a truth that does not perish, it's somewhat difficult to describe, almost like when one says there are things that they hold
as truth like their are other places outside their current field of view or their are other time periods etc... etc... anyways from this silence their was
real creation or something fresh and beautiful, i first started to work on feeling, so i imagined a cave or space under rock without an exit, i then
worked on bringing sight into being, and i imagined a complex furn of sort and the rough grey surface of the rock, everything was one that i
could extract by a kind of subtle emotional feeling, i eventually became aware of an entire city with people of personality, trees, roads, buildings,
games, clouds etc... it reminded me of another dream i had in which i was told that when it died the there and the not there would be one, but
something puzzling to me is that the perspective of consciousness always move with giorgio even in the other part of the continuation the mirrors
show what has always been referred to as the being of informed matter to it's previous states, i wonder if the becoming can ever escape it's
implicit self in that to be it must have been, i think i can also explain why the so called world of selves do not care how they act around the one
and only perspective of consciousness and why they do not care that they are plunged into darkness when the light of the perspective turns from
them, and how they can be so unaware that because of this, there endless desire to maintain their ego is an utterly hopeless task, they have not
even their lives much less anything else, it's like a circus in the dark that gets stumbled upon by a spotlight and all there is to do is laugh at such
nonsense, i think this all can be explained simply by the idea that there really is no division of the self, it exists almost like it is in between mirrors
reflecting into eternity and so it's reflections act as if they are conscious themselves and no amount of convincing on the part of the actual true
perspective of consciousness could ever sway the endless amount of reflected ego's, because they are as the rest and as the one of moment, i
wonder if this explains the notion of time and movement, it seems to me that there is neither but if perspective is pushed past it's self because of
it's infinity reflective nature then it's divided capacities could form pockets of time in which ego's exist and also form collections of pockets that
interact with one another.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Email 15

September 17 2008

This morning i woke up to realize how everything aligns or falls into place, i imagined everything dividing perhaps similar to an explosion that
scatters everything out from a center, everything is attracted to it's closest related self or what it is most like, similar to shades of colors on a
spectrum, so the separation points are inconsequential, so at some point all these pieces attract and since there is enough space they all find there
like places and fit together perfectly without having to do an endless round of dispersion and reorganization, as the mass accumulates it builds up
it's attractive force at some point perhaps after the very last partical has been accumulated everything gets compressed into an infinity sum less
then itself or negative to infinity of what is possible so that every point has direct access to every other point.

Lately i have been noticing a strange occurrence during deep mediation, i have not yet done any research on the subject, and perhaps there is
nothing to it that applies to reality, but i have noticed that if i concentrate on certain areas of brain, like an inner eye, strange things occur, and i
have been able to reproduce these effects so i do not think it is a mind trick or dreaming nonsense. if i concentrate on the left side in the middle
my teeth start to chatter however on the right i fall into unconsciousness then reawake an instant later to repeat it again, i will see what effects
there are if any on other areas.




-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------




Email 16

October 15 2008

sorry i have not emailed in a while, i have been kind of occupied....

one day i woke up and found myself the owner of a repair shop in northern Arizona...
kind of ironic, but i suppose it is just another learning experience.
it began as kind of just a repair shop for anything electronic, but it is starting to turn in the direction of rebuilt comp ber sales,
because that appears to be where the profit is at,
everybody is asking for cheap laptops, so i am trying to p buthem together as fast as i can, to keep up with demand.

lately, well... for awhile i have noticed the lack of importance of dreams, or rather there true foundation or connection to reality,
i read all about the various opinions proposed by such intellectuals as Jung, Freud etc...

but instead of the path of hocus pocus, and all that other pseudo scientific nonsense, i have tried to give it the proper respect and attention that
every other moment of existence deserves.

the language of dreams is most fascinating and extraordinarily intelligent, in comparison to what we call the waking life, for example...

a few days ago i was told that i will die after i have known what it is to be a good person and that the nature of influence by the external is to
massage lightly... it took me a few min bes b buafter consideration, i realized that the art of massage... French for kneading by friction... Arabic -
massa = touch. feel handle., greek - anatripsis, latin- fricto\ to anoint with oil eg. warm fills in the gaps, cold solidifies or joins... anyways,
massaging smooth’s out the rough spots and to do it lightly, prevents me from going over the edge into insanity.
lately i have been considering the importance of treating people how i feel right about being treated, example if i direct my energy to subdue in a
reality of infinity then infinity will attempt to subdue the subduer and thus it becomes a real hell -temporarily of course, until intelligence kicks
in... if there is any meaning to reality then it seems to be what delusion allows or rather what the perspective of consciousness gives to it, which
of course holds little weight to what is or rather that the what is unaffected or does not loose it's fundamental substance according to what energy
is applied to it, it still remains what it is regardless of influence.

another example, awhile ago i was told in a dream that the holy grail is located at the river of fail. of course i did my research to find out if there
is such a location, and so happens there is such a place in Scotland? it's been awhile so i could be wrong... anyways the language of infinity seems
to apply in every direction of thought, so another direction would be that only through seriousness, that is being as a brick wall, or uninfluenced
by life/death, happiness/sadness, desire/fear etc... can there be a continuation that retains it's inherit nature, or rather what abides with the moment
continuously in harmony. what it eternity without health, or correct thought, feeling, emotion, it of course cannot be sustained indefinitely... it
seems to me that the end result of man's logic is what is current
and thus the perspective should of course act in accordance... if there is a such way that is possible.

apparently from what i have been able to discern, the world that we call reality is a result of all that is having been p buinto it's place, stuck in
time, or rather no changing without having a reason/motive/explanation for being moved, i have heard it said to not judge a book by it's cover, in
the netherworld as they call it, that may be true b buwhen you take examples such as a fat person is the way they are because of there diet or a
man with tattoos and scars has led a trying life, it does not appear to apply, and thus they are treated in accordance to there appearance, what more
is there than what one is aware of in the moment? memory? an awareness with little substance, how much weight should this be with one's
current judgments? and yet everyone wants everything in writing! or rather a set of guidelines of appropriate action to a set of rules or standards
so they can be unintelligent to the moment and act without reason, it is moving in this direction increasingly so i wonder how this can be
appropriate to the perspective of consciousness in the moment, anyways i have had a few beers, sadly i still have no self control, while not
desiring, i still use whatever is reasonable available without restraint, which in this situation is a convenience store located next door to the shop
that keeps in stock an assortment of alcohol, even though or some reason the entities of the netherworld call beer b g spray, it's dulling effects and
negation of criticism of reality still seems rather appealing...

infinitytree dot org

				
DOCUMENT INFO
Shared By:
Categories:
Tags:
Stats:
views:67
posted:4/8/2012
language:English
pages:14