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					                                      Presented by Daniel Toriola


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                                          Bush, Kerry and Electability
                                                   By Arthur Zulu



   Bush, Kerry and Electability by Arthur Zulu




I pity English students these days. I pity them very much. Or, I should not have pity for them. Who sent
them to study something like syntax in the first place. Or semantics. By Jupiter, space scientists like
Stephen Hawkings, the briefest astronomer in the universe, would damn it. But I pity lexicographers the
more. They, like the grammar students are doomed to the same fate. Like Achilles who was destined
to die in battle. May the grammarians not perish by their heels.

Because they are helping us to understand the meanings of words and how to use them. Like "mental
mistake" (which mistake is not mental anyway?) And "peel-and-eat-shrimp" (so that we do not peel the
shrimps and throw them on the floor). They should be in our mouths. The world of unlettered men are
eternally grateful to the grammarians. For we would have starved to death. T.R. Malthus forgot to
mention how they would influence the world's demography in his theory of population by remembering
us to eat. Poor visioner. And thumbs up for the grammarians!

Because they are now going to help us understand the U.S election. They will tell us that George Bush
Jr. is the Republican candidate for the November election. They will tell us that John Kerry, no, Bob
Kerry sounds better. They will tell us that Bob Kerry is the flag bearer for the Democrats. But since he
will not be carrying a physical flag, let's call him the Democratic presidential hopeful. I like the last
word. Especially when pronounced with a stress in the last syllable and accompanied by a look toward
the golden gates of heaven. Like a saint homeward bound. I like the word because it takes the oration
of Demosthenes, the wisdom of Solomon, the insight of Hecate, and the hand of Maradonna, sorry, the
hand of God,' to remove an incumbent.

But what is electability? That is not an easy question. It is like asking: What is weapon of mass
destruction?' Or what is undisclosed secret location?' The lexicographers haven't added those to the
dictionary yet. But just in case you can't wait, I will give you references. For weapon of mass
destruction,' ask George Bush. For undisclosed secret location,' find out from the vee pee, Dick



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                                  Presented by Daniel Toriola


Cheney. (Or has he been fired?) We will also hear political statements like these: "I stand on the
ground and say that I will not raise taxes" (as if he was suspended 1,000 feet in the air or 1,000
fathoms beneath the Atlantic Ocean). "The greatest challenge facing the world in this century is
terrorism" (that means it is not a problem, only a challenge). "If elected, I will wipe out reverse
discrimination in America" (which discrimination is inverse?)

Now, what is this new comer, electability? They say that electability means those sterling leadership
qualities which endears the candidate to the electorate making it possible for him to win an election.
So, Bush is a candidate. And Kerry is one too. But electability (hence E) is not a contestant. E is
leadership quality; so E is the beautiful bride that Bush and Kerry badly need.

But beautiful brides are so elusive and it can also be dangerous to marry one. It used to be the practice
many years ago in one continent for the strongest men to marry the beautiful brides. No brains were
needed then, just physical power. Suitors therefore wrestled with one another, climbed baobab trees
and swarm across crocodile and hippopotamus-infested rivers because they wanted to marry wives.
Only one suitorthe strongest manwon the bride in the end.

In one of such contests, a dozen suitors were asked to break the strongest iroko wood with an ax in
front of the beautiful bride, her parents and an immense crowd. The suitors sweated and bleed for
seven days. Six of the men gave up. But onethe most muscular and much enduring of them allfinally
broke the log. And just in that instant a male and female boa came out of the wood, chased everybody
away and returned to the split wood which gently closed the snakes inside and sealed itself again. The
mysterious story was told to many unborn generations. That ended the physical fitness requirement for
marriage. Because men are men and women are women. The E word does not matter. The strong
man, however, married the beautiful bride. And boa the snake became the god of the people.

But back to the U.S election. Who is a better candidate? Bush or Kerry? Who stands a better chance of
being elected?

Election is an uncertain business. Like breaking a wooden trunk inhabited by snakes. Forget the polls.
Things may go wrong. Back in the days, when men knew nothing about the sphericity of the earth, U.S.
cartographers dreaded sailing the oceans. So they would point their fingers across the seas and say to
one another: "There be monsters!" The sailors meant that anything goes in the high seas. They may
even have thought that literal monsters and their fellow dragons were performing what Gogol delights
doing on land: rampaging the oceans. And the heart-in-the-mouth sailors couldn't play Odysseus, who
successfully sailed the devil-may-care whirlpool of Scylla and Charybdis by clinging tenaciously on a
floating piece of wood. All hail the aged Greek hero! (Who says it didn't happen?) So it is in an election:
A risky adventure.

But what makes a candidate win an election? The first thing is issues. And what are the matters at the
hearts of American voters? Security and terrorism, education, jobs and economy, healthcare and
medicare prescription drugs. Others are Social Security and veteran benefits, taxes, abortion,
discrimination, gay rights, pollution and the future of the children. We are to imagine that the candidate
that will better articulate his view on these issues will carry the day. But not so. Therein lies the
difficulty in explaining the meaning of the mighty E word.

This is because other seemingly insignificant things matter in an election. For example, the candidate
will learn how to smile from ear to ear like a beauty queen. Not like the mirthless Bob Dole. But like Bill
Clinton. Also the candidate will know how to pump the air and shake hands, especially the hands of



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                                  Presented by Daniel Toriola


women. (One former president shook so many hands that his right hand ended up in a bandage and
he continued shaking with his left.) See what I mean?

The candidate should also be photogenic and sociable. Like appearing in music concertswith a neck
hankie and strumming a guitar. Or playing the sexaphone. (Sorry, I mean the musical instrument
invented by Adolphe Sax.) Right! The saxophone. And then the gals will vote for ya. And jig 'God Bless
America' with ya at the Inauguaral Ball. So you see that the meaning of electability is not the meaning.
(Therefore E is not E.) For if you can fix all the political, economic, social, health and environmental
problems of America, but cannot manage a Mona Lisa smile, shake hands, or play a musical
instrument, you are a long shot from the White House.

And that's not all. For even if you are riding high in the polls, things can still go awry. Consider a
possible terrorist strike. It changed a government in Spain. Americans have been warned of a coming
one. Or of several attacks. There is even talk of changing the November election date because of the
threat.

On top of this, the other candidate may start a rumor about your personal or service record? Or that
you are desperately trying to pay hush money to your several girlfriends. Or, that your wife is
threatening to divorce you on grounds of adultery. Or, worse, that you have been down on your hands
and knees beseeching her not to do so. And they actually publish a doctored picture of yours in a
kneeling position with upraised hands on the front page of N.Y. Times' or U.S.A Today.' If the rumor
starts in late October, it would have been too late for you to set up your damage control mechanism
before the D day' in early November. End of a dream.

But even on the election date, the E word can work in your favor. Let's say that your brother happens
to be the governor of a decisive state that begins with the F word. He can, with sleight of hand, make
an E from the tail end of the F to give you victory. That is why this new word is very difficult to define.
Because the first letter is actually as amorphous as the one-celled Amoeba. Whichever way you shape
it, is the right one.

And as November draws near, the election will reach fever pitch. There will be name calling, double
speak and even dodging of issues. Some Americans would pray for the continuation of the status quo,
while others would wish for change.' If only the change would rid the world of terrorism. But I don't see
that coming. There is a French word which when rendered in English means "the more things change,
the more they remain the same." History has proved that to be true.

In the end, one candidate will win and the other will go home. Like the game of musical chairs, the
chairs are more than the players running around the chairs. Those who don't find chairs to sit when the
music stops, lose out. And wait for the next round of music.

Talking of music, there are few languages in the world that are as musical as French. The French have
a saying: "Que le meilleur candidat gagne." (Pronounced "ke le meyer candida gagn.") See the music
in the sound? Translation: May the 'better' candidate win!"

Arthur Zulu is an editor, book reviewer, and author of the writing handbook, HOW TO WRITE A
BESTSELLER and CHASING SHADOWS!, a book that reveals the terrorists' master plan to finally set
the world on fire!
Goto:
http://www.1stbooks.com/bookview/21013



                                                                                                         Page 3
                              Presented by Daniel Toriola


For his works and FREE articles, use the search engines and search 'ARTHUR ZULU.'
For contacts, mailto: mostcontroversialwriter@yahoo.com



 Arthur Zulu is the author of HOW TO WRITE A BESTSELLER and CHASING SHADOWS! available
on the Internet




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                                  Presented by Daniel Toriola


                                            Electable Ralph
                                              By Ed Howes



Electable Ralph by Ed Howes


 Hey President Nader! Won't you introduce us to your running mate? We expect you might have a
team player in mind. The democratic nominee? Let's see a team effort to multiply electability. Run with
your team. We know who we'd get with George Bush and don't care who we'd get with John Kerry.

Here is the opportunity for which more than half of America has been waiting. America's best hope to
dump corporate government and the two party stranglehold. A true Independent candidate for millions
of Independent voters. Voters who dared not hope for any meaningful change as a result of this
November election. A candidate who could win the election with just over one third of the vote. A
candidate who will speak for disaffected and disenfranchised Americans.

Try to imagine a President who will veto every corporate give away Congress passes, for four to eight
years. Ralph is a spoiler all right. Not for Democrats who thought electability was all that mattered; but
for all of us who have had enough of the puppets of corporate money. We know Ralph is no friend of
corporate power and this is his main reason for providing America an alternative. Thank you Ralph!
America is indebted for your patriotism. You have redefined the word for us.

I recently wrote it would be worth a twenty year effort to empower third parties to compete with the
good buddy, just us, Democans in Washington, D.C. Imagine how an Independent, no party President
could advance that cause in four years. Maybe the party the American people have been catering is
nearly over.

Democrats lost the White House in 2000, the minute their electable candidate called George Bush and
conceded a close election, before the votes were counted or contested. Because Democrats can't see
or appreciate the truth that they had backed a quitter, they blamed a Republican court and Ralph
Nader for the Bush victory. Now they are blaming Ralph for this year's defeat. It is good they can read
the writing on the wall and proclaim it. Maybe having someone to blame is what matters most to
Democrats. As long as they are out of power, they have plenty of people to blame. Let's give them
what they want.

Democrats are supporting not their best candidate, but the one they are guessing can beat George
Bush. Anybody but Bush they cry! John Kerry is an anybody - he'll do. He could not defeat President
Bush if Ralph Nader did not run.

Ralph Nader just made a Kerry victory impossible and is the real and only alternative to our current
President(s). The only candidate who can defeat him hem this election. This is precisely because he
can split the vote three ways, mobilize the youth, Independents, non voters and bring people to the
polls that are fed up with business as usual. That segment of America, over half the electorate, can
and probably will make Ralph Nader a shoe - in.

Democrats who supported Howard Dean should be backing Ralph. Democrats who supported Wesley
Clark should be supporting Ralph. Those of us who would support Dennis Kucinich, can support Ralph



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                                 Presented by Daniel Toriola


Nader. I think Dennis might be an Independent pretending to be a Democrat. One who may be waiting
until after the convention to support Ralph. Wouldn't Dennis make a good Vice President?

Everyone who wants no more of George Bush and company should support Ralph Nader and
company. All those who have been backing unelectable Democrats, who can't defeat George Bush,
should support Nader, if they really want change in Washington. It's not about electability any more. It's
about sweet, real, meaningful change - reformation. Anyone but the same or another Republicrat!

The Democrats are already on the attack against Ralph. He knew they would be and he is running
anyway. I like that. You should too. Republicans are soon going to be more worried about Ralph Nader
than they ever were John Kerry. They know he is going after the disenfranchised majority that will not
vote for puppets. All President Nader has to do is convince them this is their best chance to change
nearly everything that is wrong with the system - and the 2008 elections. Can we look that far ahead
any more? I say Ralph Nader will get more than fifty percent of all votes cast and the puppet lovers will
split what remains. If America wants change, we'll have a Nader landslide victory.

He is ready to run against John Kerry and George Bush. He knows he can win, same as you and I do.
Democrats are saying he'll get fewer votes than last time and cannot win. They are as wrong as they
have ever been. It’s amusing to hear them begging him not to run. Watch the support he gets as John
Kerry goes the way of Howard Dean.

Howard Dean should be supporting Ralph Nader, even though he said he would support the
Democratic nominee. If party is more important to Howard than the principles he has been espousing,
it explains why he is not the Democratic nominee.

Ralph Nader is an opportunity for traditional Democrats and Republicans, moderates, liberals and
conservatives; to send a powerful message to Washington, no matter who is elected President. No
more corporate government. No more puppet government. Ralph has just given the silent majority a
voice. Ralph Nader is the beginning of the end of the status quo and the Old World Order.

President Bush was sitting pretty until now. There was not a Democrat who could beat him. He had to
beat himself by messing up again between now and November. Odds are good he will or has and it
isn't public knowledge yet. Republicans will be saying anyone but Kerry.

Our President does not have much chance of re-election. He's following in his daddy's footsteps don't
you know? The two party madness was his best chance. If you like being ruled by corporations, vote
Republicrat. If you've had enough of 20th Century scam government, Ralph Nader is the only
alternative at this point. One who has served people long, well and lives to do so. Someone who can
be trusted. Insider government is in crisis. Must stop Ralph. Pat Buchanan, Ross Perot, where are
you? Let's split the ticket five ways and see what happens.




 Freelance writer published on websites and in
newspapers.edhowes@hotmail.comjustanotherview.com




                                                                                                        Page 6
                                  Presented by Daniel Toriola




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