Emotional Discipline

Emotional DISCIPLINE Other Books by Charles C. Manz The Power of Failure Charles C. Manz The New SuperLeadership: Leading Others to Lead Themselves Charles C. Manz and Henry P Sims, Jr. . The Wisdom of Solomon at Work: Ancient Virtues for Living and Leading Today Charles C. Manz, Karen P Manz, Robert D. Marx, and Christopher P Neck . . Team Work and Group Dynamics Gregory Stewart, Charles C. Manz, and Henry P Sims, Jr. . Mastering Self-Leadership: Empowering Yourself for Personal Excellence, Third Edition Charles C. Manz and Christopher P Neck . The Leadership Wisdom of Jesus: Practical Lessons for Today Charles C. Manz For Team Members Only: Making Your Workplace Team Productive and Hassle-Free Charles C. Manz, Christopher P Neck, James Mancuso, and Karen P Manz . . Company of Heroes: Unleashing the Power of Self-Leadership Henry P Sims, Jr., and Charles C. Manz . Business Without Bosses: How Self-Managing Teams Are Building High-Performing Companies Charles C. Manz and Henry P Sims, Jr. . SuperLeadership: Leading Others to Lead Themselves Charles C. Manz and Henry P Sims, Jr. . The Art of Self-Leadership: Strategies for Personal Effectiveness in Your Life and Work Charles C. Manz Emotional DISCIPLINE The P ower to Choose How You Feel 5 Life Changing Steps to Feeling Better Every Day CHARLES C. MANZ Emotional Discipline Copyright © 2003 by Charles C. Manz All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed “Attention: Permissions Coordinator,” at the address below. Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc. 235 Montgomery Street, Suite 650 San Francisco, California 94104-2916 Tel: (415) 288-0260, Fax: (415) 362-2512 www.bkconnection.com Ordering information for print editions Quantity sales. Special discounts are available on quantity purchases by corporations, associations, and others. For details, contact the “Special Sales Department” at the Berrett-Koehler address above. Individual sales. Berrett-Koehler publications are available through most bookstores. They can also be ordered directly from Berrett-Koehler: Tel: (800) 929-2929; Fax: (802) 864-7626; www.bkconnection.com Orders for college textbook/course adoption use. Please contact BerrettKoehler: Tel: (800) 929-2929; Fax: (802) 864-7626. Orders by U.S. trade bookstores and wholesalers. Please contact Ingram Publisher Services, Tel: (800) 509-4887; Fax: (800) 838-1149; E-mail: customer.service@ingrampublisherservices.com; or visit www.ingram publisherservices.com/Ordering for details about electronic ordering. Berrett-Koehler and the BK logo are registered trademarks of Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc. First Edition Paperback print edition ISBN 978-1-57675-230-2 PDF e-book ISBN 978-1-57675-962-2 2008-1 Copyeditor: Patricia Brewer; Text design: Detta Penna, Compositor/production service: Penna Design & Production; Indexer: Joan Dickey; Cover design: Susan Malikoswki, Autographix. ~~~~~~~~~~~ I dedicate this book to my primary Emotional Discipline Team, which has challenged me to be a more conscious and emotionally complete human being through both the great times and the difficult (but still great) ones— My family Karen Chris and Katy. I only hope I have done the same for them. ~~~~~~~~~~~ v This page intentionally left blank Contents ~~~~~~~ Preface ix 1 Introduction Discovering the Power of Emotional Discipline Part One — Emotional Discipline Foundations 19 1. Create Your Emotional Discipline Process 2. Learn the Key Characteristics of 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 21 35 49 55 63 69 75 Emotional Discipline Choose the Meaning of Your Feelings Increase Your Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Feel Your Feelings Emotional Kung Fu Weather Emotional Storms Part Two — Mind 81 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. Happiness Is a Choice Meditate for a Better Life Mental Reframing Direct Your Inner Theater Think and Grow Richly Alive 83 89 95 99 105 viii Contents 13. The Manifesting Power of Positive Thinking Other Mind-Centered Emotional Discipline Choices 111 118 Part Three — Body 121 14. Breathe with Healthful Discipline 15. Enhance Your Emotional Fitness 16. 17. 18. 19. 123 129 135 141 147 153 160 Through Physical Fitness Inner Jogging: Music and Laughter Body Work 101: Massage and Beyond Body Work 102: Tai Chi Movement and More Flow with Balance Other Body-Center