Break Leg by jennyyingdi


									                                                                                                       Who is the Ren Fairest of Them All?
                                                                                                        Laura, Angela, Amanda or Paul?
                                                         July 2008 - Page 1                                                                                               date .........................................tIme
 Break a Leg!                                                                                             Come on                                                         Sat, Aug. 16 ................................Noon-10p
                                                                                                                                                                          Sun, Aug. 17 ...............................Noon-10p
                                                                                                          out and                                                         Fri, Aug. 29 ........................................5-10p
                                                                                                                                                                          Sat, Aug. 30 ................................Noon-10p
                           Congratulations to                                                              Help!                                                          Sun, Aug. 31 ...............................Noon-10p
                           the cast and crew                                                                                                                              Sat, Sept. 6 .................................Noon-10p
                           of Meanwhile Back                                  If you can help, please contact Angela at
                                                                                                                                                                          Sun, Sept. 7 ................................Noon-10p
                           on the Couch.                                      (708) 408-5338 or email her at                                                              Sat, Sept. 13 ...............................Noon-10p
                           Rehearsals are                            You can also                                                       Sun, Sept. 14 ..............................Noon-10p
                           already underway.                                  email Anne Kowalczyk at                                                                           Start times subject to change, so
                                                                                                                                             please confirm with Anne or Angela!
                   The CasT
Audra Anderson ............. Gabrielle Wingate                                  Program ads                                                                                We need to make a new slip cover for the
                                                                                                                                                                           “George Couch.” If you have some sewing
Mike Aguayo ........................ Victor Karleen
Paul Braun ............................. Roy Terrigan
                                                                              WE NEEd YoUr HELP!                                                                           skills, we sure could use you!
Amanda Cuzzo ...........Charlotte Hennebon                                    In order to cover the cost of the royalty
Rose Doorneweerd............ Jingle Jabonski                                  fees, we need to sell advertising space in                                                       Doctor, Doctor,
Vera Friloux .................. Penelope Donnley                              the program for Meanwhile Back at the
                                                                              Couch. Our goal is $950, which would
                                                                                                                                                                               Gimme The News!
Mike Novakovich .................... Albert Brock
                                                                              cover both royalties and the printing of the                                                 Amidst family and amongst much pomp and
Betty Owens ...................Dorothea Melnick
                                                                              programs.                                                                                    circumstance, Anne Sullivan participated
                   The Crew                                                       Full Page: $75                                                                           in Northwestern University’s PhD Hooding
                                                                                  approximately 5 inches x 8 inches                                                        Ceremony. Congratualtions to Anne!
                                                                                                                             See page two for more info and ad samples.

Lydia Bellamy-Palma ....Costume Designer                                          Your full page ad bonus:
Rose Doorneweerd.........Property Mistress                                        4 free tickets!

Jeremy Drechny .............Lighting Designer
Anne Kowalczyk ....................Set Designer
Angela Martin .................... Stage Manager
Tanissa Parks .............. We Hope Anything!                                                               AD DEADLINE:
                                                                                                 Friday, September 5, 2008
Tianna Ruelas ............................... Director
Efrem Tutwiler.............. We Hope Anything!
                                                                                     Half Page: $50
                                                                                     approximately 5 in. x 4 in.
This year, the show is in September, rather                                          Your half page ad bonus:
than November, so it’s coming up quick.                                              2 free tickets!

We’ll need all the help we can get to put up
this show and sell lots of tickets.                                                                                                                                        To accomodate all of Anne’s family, Bobbie
                                                                                         Quarter Page: $25
                                                                                         approximately 5 in. x 2 in.
                                                                                                                                                                           rented a van and “Ralph Kramdened” her way
If you can help give Angela the stage                                                    Your quarter page ad bonus:                                                       around town as their official tour guide duing
manager a call at (708) 408-5338 or email                                                1 free ticket!
                                                                                                                                                                           the visit. Rat Rag editors hear videotape of
her at                                                                                                                                            these bus trips might be available.

• In Vermont, women must obtain
  written permission from their
                                                                              To clean oil and grease stains on concrete
                                                                              driveways, spray one or two applications of
                                                                              Easy-Off Oven Cleaner, let sit for a few min-
                                                                                                                                                                              Ponderisms: When the guy
                                                                                                                                                                               who made the first drawing board got
                                                                              utes, then rinse with the highest pressure from
  husbands to wear false teeth.                                               the nozzle of a garden hose.                                                                      it wrong, what did he go back to?
   – Program ads –                                                            SIXTEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK                 THEATRE CLASSES FOR
    INFo & HoW To                                                             ME OVER 40 YEARS TO LEARN                  THIS FALL! Sign Up Today!
                                                                           by Dave Barry, submitted by Roger Moffat
Help support our theatre program by taking                                                                                GENERAL ED. CLASSES: 151, 152, 158
                                                                          1. Never, under any circumstances, take        • THEATRE APPRECIATION
out or selling an ad or two! On page 5 of                                 a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same     DRM 151 ........ MW .......11 AM - 12:15 PM
the Rat Rag, you’ll find an advertising con-                              night.                                         Learn about the parts of theatre that mix to
tract to return with your ad(s). If you are                               2. If you had to identify, in one word,        create one magical experience. See a live
receiving the Rat Rag via US Mail, you’ll                                 the reason why the human race has not          show in Chicago.
also find a postage free envelope to return                               achieved, and never will achieve, its full
                                                                          potential, that word would be ‘meetings’.      • PLAYS AND PLAYWRIGHTS
your ad and check or money order.                                                                                        DRM 152 ........ MW .................1 - 2:15 PM
                                                                          3. There is a very fine line be-               Learn about the secrets of great plays and
Do NOT send cash through the mail!! The                                   tween ‘hobby’ and ‘mental llness’.             why they came to be treasured. Discuss
cost of ads are noted in the graphic on                                                                                  sex, politics, religion and money.
                                                                          4. People who want to share their
page one and in the contract.                                             religious views with you almost
                                                     July 2008 - Page 2                                                  • DRAMA INTO FILM
Make checks and money orders payable                                      never want you to share yours with them.       HFA 158 ............ T ............11 AM - 1:45 PM
to: SSC: Performing Arts Center. We do                                    5. You should not confuse your career with     Learn about the censorship code that
                                                                          your life.                                     changed our perception of the past 75
not accept credit or debit cards.                                                                                        years of “real” life. This class is for mature
                                                                          6. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well.       students.
Buying advertising space is a real bargain.                               Just get up and dance.
Each ad comes with its own special sur-                                                                                       — ELECTIVES: 157 AND 199 —
                                                                                   7. Never lick a steak knife.          • ACTING I
prise. If, for example, you purchase a full
                                                                                   8. The most destructive               DRM 157 .......... R .................11 - 1:45 PM
page ad, you’ll receive 4 complimentary                                                                                  Learn the tools that can make you a
(that’s FREE!) tickets to any performance                                 force in the universe is gossip.
                                                                                                                         unique performing artist. Walk away with
of Meanwhile Back on the Couch. Wow!                                      9. You will never find anybody who can         an astounding toolbox.
You can’t beat that with a stick!                                         give you a clear and compelling reason
                                                                          why we observe daylight savings time.          • INDEPENDENT STUDY
If your ad is for a business, “camera                                                                                    DRM 199 ............................................. TBA
                                                                          10. You should never say anything to a         Learn as a working artist, one on one. See
ready” artwork would be appreciated. The                                  woman that even remotely suggests that         Bobbie Saltzman for details.
programs will be printed in glorious black                                you think she’s pregnant unless you can
and white. Shades of gray, fancy colours                                  see an actual baby emerging from her at        Admissions/Registration is open Mondays
and photographs don’t always reproduce                                    that moment.                                   through Thursdays 8:00 a.m.-7:00 p.m.
                                                                          11. There comes a time when you                and Fridays 8:00 a.m.-4:00 p.m.
nicely, so keep your artwork simple.
                                                                          should stop expecting other people
If you wish, you can email artwork and                                    to make a big deal about your
                                                                          birthday. That time is age eleven.
                                                                                                                          You know It’s Time for
text directly to
(Ellie), who will be setting all the ads for                              12. The one thing that unites all human
                                                                                                                           a New Car When…
the program. TIFFs or JPGs work best.                                     beings, regardless of age, gender, religion,   • Jimmy Hoffa thanks
The higher the resolution, the better. If you                             economic status or ethnic background, is         you for finally prying
                                                                          that, deep down inside, we ALL believe           open the trunk.
have any questions, ask Ellie! If you don’t                               that we are above average drivers.
have any artwork, and just want the space                                                                                • Your odometer switches
to wish your favourite company member                                     13. A person, who is nice to you,                to scientific notation.
                                                                          but rude to the waiter, is not a
well, Ellie will be happy to make your ad                                 nice person. This is very impor-               • Your mechanic names his new, 65-foot
look purty.                                                               tant. Pay attention. It never fails.             yacht after you.
              OUR AD SALES GOAL:                                          14. Your friends love you anyway.              • The homeless ask you to please not park
              2 Full Page Ads                                                        15. Never be afraid to try            in front of their boxes.
              6 Half Page Ads                                                        something new. Remember             • Your air bags need to be inflated
              20 Quarter Page Ads                                                    that a lone amateur built             manually.
                                                                                     the Ark. A large group of
                                                                          professionals built the Titanic.               • The Amish mock you when you drive by.
Don’t have a business and stuck for an
idea for your ad? Here’s a sample of what                                 FINAL Thought for the Day:                     • You change the duct tape every 3,000
you can have in your ad. Send your ad in                                                                                   miles.
                                                                          16. Men are like a fine wine.
today!                                                                    They start out as grapes, and                  • Your mechanic is storing part of his CD
                                                                          it’s up to women to stomp the                    collection in your glove box.
                                                                          crap out of them until they turn into some-    • Hitting potholes is the only way to make
         To the Cast and Crew of                                          thing acceptable to have dinner with.            the headlights come on.
   Much Love and Whirled Peas from Angelina, Brad,                              Gratuitous Space Filler #8837964         • Panhandlers at red lights slip dollar bills
   Leon, Maddox, Pax, Shiloh, Vivienne and Zahara                                   Oh, yes. We keep track.                in your window.
                                                                       10 Foods                                   Talented local artist Pamela Biesen has

                                                                      You Should
                                                                                                                  a passion for vintage buttons. Using
                                                                                                                  this talent, she takes discarded buttons
    July is National                                                                                              and fashions them into beautiful

                                                                       Never Eat
             Baked Bean Month                                                                                     bracelets that are wearable works of
3rd is Compliment Your Mirror Day                                                                                 art. Each bracelet she makes is a one
                                                                                                                  of a kind treasure.
8th is Video Games Day
14th is National Nude Day                                                                                         Below are just a few samples of her
                                                                    1. Pepperidge Farms Roasted                   colourful and fun work.
19th is Flitch Day
                                                                       Chicken Pot Pie:
Bizarre Bonus: An old custom from yester-
                                                                    510 Calories and 9 grams of fat and that’s
year developed into the holiday of Flitch
                                                                    for half of the pot pie. Who eats just half
Day. Bacon was given to any married            July 2008 - Page 3
                                                                    of a pot pie?
couple who could prove they had lived in
harmony and fidelity for one year. Very                             2. McDonald’s Chicken Selects:
few “Took Home The Bacon”.                                          A standard 5-strip order has 630 calories
                                                                    and 11 artery clogging grams of fat.
                                                                    3. The Cheesecake Factory’s 6 Carb
                                                                    Each slice has 610 calories and 29 grams
                                                                    of fat. You could have had an 8-oz prime
                                                                                                                  Pam will be offering her bracelets
                                                                    rib with less fat and calories.
                                                                                                                  for sale at the annual Frankfort Fall
                                                                    4. Dove Ice Cream:                            Festival, which will take place on
                                                                    Dove squeezes 300 calories and 13 grams       August 31, September 1 and 2. Look
                                                                    of fat into a half cup sized serving of its   for her under the ButtonTown USA
                                                                    ice cream.                                    banner.

You’re In The                                                       5. Mrs. Fields Milk Chocolate &
                                                                       Walnut Cookie:
                                                                                                                  The Frankfort Historic Business
                                                                                                                  District, located in the four-block area
 ArmY now!                                                          1 cookie has more than 300 calories, as
                                                                    much saturated fat as a 12-oz sirloin steak
                                                                                                                  surrounding Kansas Street, provides
                                                                                                                  the backdrop for the festival’s major
                   Good Luck to Martell                                                                           attraction, 300 participating artisans.
                   Jefferson, who will be                           and 6, yes 6 teaspoons of sugar. Remem-
                                                                    ber I said that is 1 cookie.                  In addition, you will not want to miss
                   going into the re-                                                                             the other special events throughout
                   serves in August.                                6. Starbuck’s 20-oz Venti Caffé               the weekend including a community
                Martell was last seen                                  Mocha:                                     parade on Sunday, carnival, live
                on stage in Oklaho-                                 With 490 calories and 16 grams of fat, you    entertainment and food court provided
ma! and was originally cast in Mean-                                can think of this as a Quarter Pounder        by area civic organizations.
while Back on the Couch. Because his                                with Cheese in a cup!
                                                                                                                  For more information about
ship date moved up, Martell had to                                                                                ButtonTown USA or to inquire about
                                                                    7. Burger King Quad Stacker:
drop from the show.                                                                                               purchasing Pam’s bracelets, email:
                                                                    1,000 calories, 30 grams of fat and 1,800
We’ll miss you Martell, and PLEASE!                                 mg sodium. Are you suicidal?        
Take good care of yourself while
you’re taking good care of US.                                      8. Campbell’s Chunky, Select and
                                                                       Red and White Label Condensed
 The First Law of Theatre: Everything                                  Soups:
 will take longer than it really should.                            These soups are brimming with salt. Half
                                                                    a can averages MORE than half of a per-
IN HONOUR OF STUPID PEOPLE…                                         son’s daily quota of salt.
This happened in Birmingham AL. I was                               9. Chipotles Chicken Burrito:
at the airport, checking in at the gate when                        1,180 calories and 19 grams of fat. You
an airport employee asked, “Has anyone                              should be able to SEE that many calories!
put anything into your baggage without
your knowledge?” To which I replied. “If                            10.Häagen-Dazs Mint Chip Dazzler:
it was without my knowledge, how would                              Is the winner with 1,270 calories and 38
I know?” He smiled knowingly and nod-                               grams of fat. That’s two days worth. Now
ded, “That’s why we ask.”                                           that’s just crazy!
                                                                              What is it about my friendship with           by soccer moms, DON’T LOOK THEM IN
                                                                              Ellie that causes the natural order           THE EYE!” Then she said, “I wonder how
                            Family                                                   of things to run amok?                 many Trevor’s and Alexis’s are there?” so I
                                                                                                                            told her to hold on and I hollered “TREV-
                            Dinners                                                                              by Ro      OR” really loud to see how many would
                                                                                 My Day at                                  look!!! None did.
Teenagers who ate dinner with their
families at least 5 times a week, learned
                                                                                 the Devivo                                 Finally E calls me back and we figure out
                                                                                                                            that I am in the right place but the wrong
better nutrition habits and were less likely
to smoke, drink or use drugs than teens
                                                                                FaMily Picnic                               parking lot so while this woman was telling
                                                                                                                            someone else where to set up, I grabbed
who ate dinner with their families 2 times                                                                                  my gear and took off. Thank God I didn’t
a week or less.                                                                                                             give them my keys so they could unload my
                                                                          I agreed to face paint at Ellie’s family pic-     car!!!
  Do Unto                                                                 nic. I am sure that it will come as no sur-
                                                                          prise to anyone who knows Ellie that, what
  others…                                            July 2008 - Page 4   with her eye for detail (anal retentiveness),
                                                                          the map she gave me to help me find Main
If you take precautions like washing your                                 Park in Frankfort, looked much like the 8
hands frequently and covering your mouth                                  x 10 color glossies that the police took of
when you sneeze or cough, is it OK to go                                  the garbage pile in Alice’s Restaurant with
to work when you are sick?                                                the circles and arrows. The only difference
                                                                          being Ellie included a satellite aerial view
NO, says Bruce Epstein, PhD, nationally                                   of the park.
known as “The Ethics guy”. Epstein, who
is a regular on CNN, says you owe it to                                   I arrive at the park and it turns out that
your co-workers not to make them sick.                                    there was another HUGE event going on at
You also owe it to yourself to rest and get                               the park. A fundraiser for a child stricken
better as quickly as possible.                                            with cancer. There were hundreds of people
                                                                          there and these people assumed that I was
                       Good Old                                           there to face paint for them, so they helped
                                                                          me carry the gear up to the picnic area and
                       Fashioned                                          are trying to get me to give them my car
                                                                          keys so they could go and get my canopy
                         stress                                           and table and chairs to help me set up. I
How you spend your time alone has a                                       was looking around trying to find Ellie or a
big effect on the way your body handles                                   face I recognized. I told this woman trying
stress. Reading, writing, singing, listen-                                to get me to set up that I was a friend of
ing to music, meditating, and physical                                    Ellie’s and she said, “Oh good, good,” and
activities are all positive ways to cope                                  continues to try to get me to set up. Tell-
with stress. Smoking, eating or drinking to                               ing me that a good spot would be by the
much, using mind or mood altering drugs,                                  bouncy house.
criticizing yourself and others and driving
aggressively are examples of unhealthy                                    I told this woman that Ellie told me that
ways to cope.                                                             there were about 30 kids and this woman
                                                                          says, “Oh no, there are about 150 to 200.”
                                                                          So I called Ellie.
                                                                          The phone picks up and a voice yells,
                                                                          “What! What do you want? What?”
                                                                          Ellie being Ellie, I assumed it was her and
              I BeLIeVe…                                                  asked her where the Hell she was… Then I
My best friend and I can do anything                                      hear Ellie in the background shouting, “Ma,
or nothing and have the best time.                                        it’s Rochelle and she thinks you’re me!!!
                                                                          Tell her I am almost there!!!” *sigh*
          PAC Rat Meeting                                                 I sat down at an picnic bench to wait, soon
          Summer Schedule!                                                a family of five ask if they can share my
   The next PAC Rat meeting will be                                       table, I say sure and sat listening to mom
 Thursday, August 7th @ 7:00pm in the                                     telling little Christy that if she didn’t stop
PAC Lobby. (Location subject to change)                                   picking her nose it will bleed again and the
                                                                          tooth fairy wouldn’t come.
     REMEMBER TO CONTACT US                                               Wendy and the girls were coming to help
with any article, photo, want ad or idea at:                              so I called her, explained the situation and
                                                                          told her not to get out of her car until I fig-
    * *                                             ured this out. Since we were in Frankfort,
I monitor this email and will respond to all. – Ro                        Wendy says, “Mom, you are surrounded
                                               a d v e r t i s i n g ContraCt

I/We ______________________________________________________________________________________
                                                                (please print name of individual or company)
agree to purchase space in your program for the 3 Stages of SSC production of Meanwhile Back on the Couch at
South Suburban College. I understand that any ad that I/we buy is to be paid for in full at this time and must reach
the college by the dates specified below. Make checks payable to ssC-kindig Performing arts Center.

Please find enclosed a check for the amount of: $                                                                                                     oFFiCe use onlY

Signed:                                                                                                                                         Sale made by:

Print Name if signing for a business:
                                                                                                                                                Check          ❍#

Phone Number:                                                                     Date:                                                         Cash           ❍$
                                                                                                                                                Artwork: ❍ yes ❍ no

     † Please call in advance to reserve your seat(s) - performance dates on reverse.                                                           Tickets:       ❍ yes ❍ no
                                                                                                                                                               ❍ maybe
                Photographs on business cards will not reproduce well.

  Full Page ad (7-1/2˝ x 4-1/2˝)                                                              halF Page ad (4-1/2˝ x 3-3/4˝)
  With the purchase of this ad you will receive four complimentary                            Your ad won’t be missed. You will receive two complimentary
  tickets to the performance of your choice.† A nice reward for                               tickets with the purchase of this ad for the performance of your
  your generous support or a great bonus for a hard-working                                   choice.†

  ❏ Full Page ..................................................................... $75.00
                                                                                              ❏ Half Page .................................................................... $50.   00

  quarter Page ad                                                                             “Break-a-leg-a-gram™”
  An inexpensive way to advertise your business or services. You                              Wish the cast and crew good luck in fifteen words or less. A fun
  will receive one complimentary ticket with the purchase of this                             way to support the arts or your favorite company member.
  ad for the performance of your choice.†
  (Wide: 4-1/2˝ x 1-7/8˝ or Tall: 2-1/4˝ x 3-3/4˝)                                            ❏ Gram ............................................................................. $3.00

                                                                                              Print your Break-A-Leg-A-Gram™ message in the space provided.
  ❏ Quarter Page ............................................................... $25.   00

                                                                                             E PRI
  Additional Break-A-Leg-A-Grams forms are on the reverse.                                          “Break-A-Leg-A-Gram™” is a registered trademark of FWOB, ltd Publications

                  ad deadline                                                                  Kindig Performing Arts Center
All ads and payment(s) are due by                                                              South Suburban College
Friday, September 5, 2008                                                                      15800 State Street
                                                                                               South Holland, Illinois 60473
Break-A-Leg-A-Grams and payment(s) are due
by Monday, September 8, 2008
Questions? Call Ellie at 708-210-5741 and leave                                                TICKETS — 24/7 Voice Mail — 708-210-5741
a message or email at                                                       eMail:
3 Stages of SSC and the PAC Rats Theatre Company present
            Meanwhile Back on the Couch           the zany comedy by Jack Sharkey, directed by Tianna Ruelas

             TS                               September 19, 20 & 26, 2008 at 8:00pm
      T ICKE
       $6  Adult s                              September 27 at 2:00pm & 8:00pm
       $4  Senio s                                  24/7 Voicemail: 708-210-5741
         &S tuden                                    email:
                                           ABOUT THE SHOW: Struggling psychiatrist Victor Karleen takes
                                           on a new patient to help with his growing financial problems. The patient,
                                           frustrated by love, dreams up a steamy, torrid novel and gives his first manu-
                                           script to Victor. Victor’s nurse hands the manuscript over to a publisher, believing
                                           it is Victor’s work. Suddenly Victor has an enormous advance royalty check, a
                                           Book of the Month Club selection and a potential Pulitzer prize. Things continue
                                           to spiral out of control as Victor is determined to keep his patient crazy until he’s
                                           dreamed up the final chapter. It’s fast paced, hilarious and zany.

 KINDIG PERFORMING ARTS CENTER • South Suburban College • 15800 State St. • South Holland, IL

                         PaC rats – Break-a-leg-a-gram – Price $3.00 each

Your Name: ____________________________________ Message For: __________________________________

Message: ____________________________________________________________________________________
                                                       E PRI
Wish someone to Break-A-Leg or send him or her a happy message in 15 words or less. Your message along with
your name will be printed in the show program. All proceeds are used to fund future performances.

                      Thank you in advance for your BREAK-A-LEG-A-GRAM purchase.

                         PaC rats – Break-a-leg-a-gram – Price $3.00 each

Your Name: ____________________________________ Message For: __________________________________

Message: ____________________________________________________________________________________
                                                       E PRI
Wish someone to Break-A-Leg or send him or her a happy message in 15 words or less. Your message along with
your name will be printed in the show program. All proceeds are used to fund future performances.

                      Thank you in advance for your BREAK-A-LEG-A-GRAM purchase.

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